Archive for the older Dominants Category

My Slave, This is Arianna’s Story Her Search For A Master.

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Argue, Arianna, BDSM Dating Sites, Change, control, controlling, Dating, Dating Add, Deception, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, Email, Fake Dominants, Fear, In Search Of A Master, Masters, Mini Skirts, older Dominants, Respect, Rules, skirt no panties, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, Train your slave on November 24, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This email was just sent by my Slave and wife, she is at work today and I am just about ready to leave for work. She does read my blog daily and at times she does comment. Arianna for the most is private and I respect that.

This is the story of her search and I am guessing you are going to know and understand where she is coming from. The road can be long and scary. The key is to think before you act.

Dear Master. 
This is my response but I totally understand if it's too personal to use. 

The search
So, I stumbled into the lifestyle out of curiosity and need. A need to fill an 
emptiness. A void. A knowing that there was a deeper connection that could be 
had between two people. From what I knew of the bdsm lifestyle, which was very 
little at the time, i understood it as a viable possibility that this is where I 
needed to be. So the search began. I put myself out there. I went to a bdsm 
personals website and created a profile along with a real pic and info that 
included I was new to the lifestyle. 

The very next day my in box was breeming with inquiries. I sifted through the 
hey babys and picked three that I thought might be real doms. The term "real 
doms" for me was really vague. I was looking for older gentleman who claimed 
they knew what they were talking about and were already starting to give advice. 
There was a consensus between two of them that I should immediately take down my 
profile off the personal site because my profile screamed newbie which could 
land me in a predators hands. This gave me a sense that these people really were 
looking at for my best interest. 

Next, I started emailing back and forth between the three. I also started phone 
calls with them. One wanted to know something that I never shared with anyone 
before. This was a hard task because I'm an open book. Between the three I 
blurted out my entire life story. I babbled and babbled hoping that one would 
accept me for me. 

It came time within a week to meet the local guy who responded. I met him at a 
local eatery but he did request that I wear a skirt or a dress with no panties. 
So I did. The conversation was all about me and I was loving the attention but 
in the back of my mind I couldn't help thinking that there has got to be a 
better connection to submit, right? I told the guy about the other two doms I 
was talking to. I was very truthful with how I was feeling. I just didn't feel a 
connection and told the guy that I wasn't choosing him. That was hard but the 
prospect of him taking me home and fucking me, kind of disgusted me. 
The guy responded to the rejection by saying that he was disappointed because he 
wanted to start my training as a slave that day which would have included me 
being naked at his house giving him a blow job to see what areas needed 
improvement. 

So. Now there were two. The two remaining doms were both out of state. One was 
30 years my senior and wanted to fly me up to his house to spend three weeks 
with him. That was to be the first meet. I decided that the age gap was just too 
much for me.  And  he seemed to smother me. I wasn't looking for cuddling and 
spooning with an older guy. I wanted a Dom to enforce rules and put into place 
structure. 

Then there was one. Although I had already told this last Dom that I wasn't 
interested he wouldnt take no for an answer and I wasnt confident enough to 
stand firm and had The belief that he knew best. So after a couple arguments and 
heavy discussions we decided to meet. He flew down to meet me at a fancy hotel. 
I met him in the Lobby. He was a smooth talker. Asking all sorts of questions 
about me. It was all about me. And he started buying me drinks. I got relaxed 
and then we moved up to his room. He said that I needed to ask him to submit. I 
decided that I didn't have much to lose and the conversation was going so well 
and I could always change my mind, right? The last question was internal and not 
verbalized. 
So I said, Master I would like to serve you. Will you accept me? 
Of course his answer was yes. I felt a twinge of excitement. A new beginning. 
Then in a moments notice everything changed. His demeanor got serious. His face 
had a scowl. He turned scary. Then I was like, oh shit. I said, your scaring me. 
He responded that now I was his. We proceeded to get into a heated argument 
where I threatened to leave. He threatened that security wouldn't let me because 
I had too much to drink. I screamed fuck you. Then he changed again and gave me 
a whoo is me story about how nobody loved him and he wanted to take care of me. 
Really laid the guilt trip on so I conceded my defeat and submitted to him 
again. Little did I know that over the course of the next six months we would 
have other heated arguments about me leaving and each time he turned the tables 
on me to where it was my lack of commitment and falling back on my word. This 
was my downfall every time. 

I finally was able to break free. After six months. It wasn't a match. Never had 
been but I was naiive in figuring out what my needs and wants were in the 
lifestyle. I thought that every Dom was real and experienced. I believed every 
word they said. Never in my mind did I think that there was a hidden agenda. I 
didn't classify them as a normal male. Doms were so far above the vanilla man 
because they are confident and take a " true" interest. Lol
This is not always the case. I admit. I was full of anticipation. Full of 
excitement. It was a total rush but over time it was a burden with my first Dom. 
I realized that he was controlling and not in control. He would lose his temper 
and blame me and my emotions for anything that went wrong. And I took it because 
I was his property even though I was not flourishing. Even though I knew in my 
heart that this wasn't going to work. I settled. I got hurt. And it took me a 
while to heal. 

. 

I'm awesome now. I have gained a better understanding of myself. And I have 
found my "one". 

All in all my experience is like thousands of others just entering the 
lifestyle. We have stars in our eyes and fluttering hearts that maybe we will 
have our very own Dom or Master. 

I just wanted to let other subs and slaves and newbies know that it's pretty 
normal to trust. I think it's in our nature. But that could be a double edged 
sword. Trust should be gained and not given when meeting someone. I know my 
experience may ring true with others. I hope it opens your eyes that it's easy 
to be swept away when your guard is down. 

My openness was taken advantage of and used against me in my search. Also my 
attitude of doms not being able to do wrong. That they always have the best of 
intentions. That they would never harm. But what I failed to realize until later 
is that the lifestyle is like the vanilla world in that there are good and bad 
apples. It's up to our internal discernment to tell us the difference but we 
have to give ourselves the chance. 

Be careful and good luck. 
Arianna

Vile

Is Old Guard Real ?

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Alt.com, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Breaking Rules, Collar, Collarme.com, communication, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Dominants, dress, Dress Protocol, Ego, etiquette, events, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Master, Gorean Portocol, Honesty, Kink, kinkster, kinky, Leather Guard, Master, Masters, morals, munchs, Old Guard, Old Leather Guard, older Dominants, Open Minded, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Self-Discipline, slave, submissive, TPE on July 24, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many of the new today will argue that Old Guard is just a Myth, it never was and never will be. When in fact I do believe and have spoken to elders who were a part of Old Guard, in the late 60’s through the early 80’s

Old Guard refers to the leather community mainly the gay community. I myself am not into the leather scene, nor am I a part of any leather family since most have blown the protocol way out of text. In my eyes a lack of respect of what use to be.

Most of the Leather Family’s today are known as pansexual , you can google that. Unlike Old Guard, today’s Leather family’s welcome most anyone, without even really knowing anything about them. In the Old Guard days there were strict rules and Protocols to be followed. The Old Guard was a closed community and you had to become a member. Before membership was allowed one had to learn all rules and protocols and follow them, if not you got the boot.

Over the years we have strayed, we have lost the meaning of BDSM and it has falling more into just a kink, a past time, weekend warriors, bedroom only. Which is okay but the problem is everyone is right, no one is wrong. When someone hears how a slave or submissive lives they are just blown away and cannot believe they would allow someone to treat them a certain way.

It is not that a slave or submissive in today’s times are part of or believe in Old Guard, they just fall into their Dominants ways of doing things. Being strict, having rules, even protocols both public and private is perfectly okay, when there is no physical or mental abuse involved.

It is not that we take the lifestyle differently some are just more serious than others when it comes to the world of D’s and M’s. How Master Joe runs his house is on him, I do not and will not judge.

Back in the day a Dominant had to make his way through the ranks, there were steps that had to be taking. If a submissive or bottom had more experience than the Dom the sub out ranked the Dom, yea sounds weird. The problem is today’s Dominants want to start out as president they are right and everyone else is wrong.

Unlike today back in the Old Leather Guard there were dress codes, and they were enforced. Arianna and I have attended some local groups and I cannot believe they way some of the sub/slaves come dressed, more so the way their master allows them out of the house. Arianna has pointed out how mouthy some are, how she cannot believe how some disrespect their Doms.

Today it would be almost impossible to put together an exclusive group for meetings or teachings because of how BDSM  has branched out. Most groups come and go because of a dictatorship or just huge egos. Most people today are close minded when it comes to how others live as well

Old Guard when in a social setting it was the Dominant with the most experience who led the conversation, on the other side if the bottom had more experience they led the conversation, if equal the Dom was giving the go ahead.

When walking the submissive walked one or two steps behind, remember you are not equal in a sense. A Dominant would never think of hugging or shaking the hand of a submissive, nor would the submissive make direct eye contact, though the Dominant would. A Dominant would never think of touching another who was owned and collard, there was a respect thing.

Protocols is a lost art today, but what I expect if out in public a Dominant or Submissive should not assume anything. A Dominant should not just walk up to a submissive and strike up a conversation, they same with a submissive. It is however proper and okay to ask. Some couples have no protocols at all, nor do they wish to, this is where the lack of respect comes into play when it comes to what others believe. I have had people say they could never live like Arianna nor would they want to. What we have as a Master and Slave is very unique and special.

Old Guard when a Dominant was being served there were two ways, one palm out and flat drink on palm, the other the sub would kneel head down and arms extended making the offering. Depending on the protocol the sub could either leave or had to ask permission.

Those who play on the internet who belong to sites such as Collarme.com Alt.com BDSM.com and so on generally stay on those sites with very little real in person interaction, those who get lucky enough to find a submissive or Slave generally fuck it up because they have no real clue what a in person interaction is. It does not take long for the Submissive to realize they have been played. The so called Dominant will generally put the blame of the submissive when it comes to the relationship not working.

When I speak about myself at times I mention old school, and not old guard. Old School just means I hold certain values when it comes to the lifestyle, I give and expect respect. I set my life to a certain standard as I do with my Slave. I expect when out my slave is giving the up most respect and she will do the same in return.

So in closing I think we should all get back to the basics when it comes to the lifestyle. Yes we do need rules, yes we do need guidelines, yes we do need dress codes, yes we do need protocols. More so we do need to respect others.

Coming in at the top of those who truly live the lifestyle with the fullest respect are those of the Gorean lifestyle. If you should ever have the honor of meeting a Gorean Master or Slave you would be truly amazed. Old Leather Guard probably not since the lifestyle is based on a line of books, but the lifestyle is very strict and respected by many. I am not saying everyone should live the Gorean way, but if you study up on it, it will give you a way different out look and perspective of their lifestyle.

We should all come together as one, and set standards, keep the lifestyle proud, keep the fakers out. It could be done.

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Vile

Older Dominants , Younger submissive’s

Posted in bdsm, Daddy Dom, Dating younger woman, Dominants, older Dominants, slave, submissive on April 14, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I just received a reply that a younger female would not be interested in a middle aged man, unless she had problems, or a Low Self Esteem. I find that statement to be totally false, and I shall give a few reasons.

I will admit you see the older and younger more often in a D’s relationship more so than a vanilla relationship. Although the prospects of and older man and younger woman in a vanilla relationship is not impossible.

I do believe many younger woman prefer older men. First reason being more stable. Most older men have already been through the pasture. Older men tend to be more settled in life, not as quick to fly off the handle. The jealous streak is long gone. Most important the younger female feels more secure.

In the Bdsm world it is very common to see a younger Slave with an Older Dominant. In our world wisdom comes with age. I suppose you could say the same thing in the vanilla world as well.

The older Dominants tend to be much more calmer, we want to communicate more, and we tend to put ours first. The bond is much different, as well as the trust.

Now I am not putting down the younger Dominant. We all have a starting point in the lifestyle. When I was much younger I made it a point to hang out with older Doms in the lifestyle. To this day Most of my male friends within the lifestyle are much older than I am. You can never stop learning. Although I may disagree more with what others bring to the table, I still keep an open mind. I know there are many who disagree with the way I run my home, many think I am to strict, or even to controlling which is far from the truth. I do consider myself to be in control. A controlling man has deep issues as well. The controlling man is the one who is insecure, he is the one with the low self esteem, and in most cases he also brings abuse to the table.

You have to have game, the gift of gab. If you are a 45 or 50 year old male and for what ever reason you want to date a 20 year old, it can happen. It is not about money, or the kind of car you drive. On the other hand if you live in your moms backyard in a camper, your chances are not that good.

If your communication skills are weak. Work on them. If you cannot grab the girls attention within the first couple minutes forget it. If you can keep her attention and make her laugh, you are on the right track.

There is a big safety issue in our world. With age and the length of time in the lifestyle safety becomes an issue. If you were going to get into some real intense needle play, who would you pick, the 18 year old Dom, or the 50 year old Dom? Even some electrical play, spanking hard impact play. The younger submissive is going to step over to the older 90% of the time.

If your a baby girl and your looking for a daddy Dominant again who are you going to pick? Age has nothing to do with whom you date, I myself would not want a submissive who is 18, I am thinking maybe 25 now would be my cut off. Although I can never say never.

Here is a reply I received from a man named John. I did reply back but when I tried to go to his wordpress I was blocked. It is all good.

Sigh…..one of the greatest lies ever told is that women “like” or “prefer” older men. Women like nothing of the sort. I often hear women say they like younger men but never the opposite. When I look around at everyday life, I see people who are invariably with people their own age, even those who are on their second or third marriage. I’ve never come across an 18 year old who’d be happy to take up with a middle aged man, unless there was something wrong with her. This talk is a control thing…try and get women to think they have no options then they’ll be grateful for anything. The only women who buy into that type of rubbish are ones with really low self esteem. And so what if she (or he) lives her days out alone in a shack? At least nowadays women have choices, they can live as they please. A man looks his best in his 20′s, followed by his early 30s. He starts to look seedy in his late 30s, looses his looks in his 40s and is invisible in his 50s. That’s just how it is…continue to delude yourself if it makes you feel better.

Delude myself. http://www.merriam-webster.com.Definition of DELUDE. 1: to mislead the mind or judgment of : deceive, trick. 2. obsolete. a: frustrate, disappoint. b: evade, elude.

That my friend is a false statement. I believe that any man can date any woman on any giving day, eh with a few exceptions.

Reasons a Dominant would date a younger female. If it is the submissive’s first or second relationship much easier to train. An older submissive or Slave who has been in the lifestyle for some time tend to compare, even if they do not mean to. Most younger subs tend to be more open sexually, more open minded, this is not the case all the time, but often.

Delude myself, that one word just blew me away. What a big misconception, far from the truth.

Take Arianna, my sweet slave. She is very beautiful most of you have seen her.She has a body built for sin. She is very smart. Has a degree, has a good career, makes good money, and at the age of 36 she looks 25. I am 50 years old, average looking, a little over weight, but Arianna has had me on a good diet and Ive lost 14 pounds. I have no degree, but I delude myself.

So what do I bring to the table? I bring communication. I bring stability, I bring consistency, I bring the truth. I live by the truth. I bring zero drama even with my Ex there is no drama. I bring safety. My party days are over. Arianna knows she comes first no matter what.

You John are deluded.

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Vile