Archive for the Part Time Submission Category

My Spirituality And BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, fetlife, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, Religion, Slave, Submission, Submissive, viledesires62@aol.com on April 1, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

While I may be very outspoken , loud at times , I do have a habit of speaking my mind, in private or public. I am far from politically correct and if I think your bull shitting me I will be the first to call you out.

One obsession I have is speaking with elders , I love their stories of life from the beginning to the present, very wise and most information can be put to very good use. Each story is different , their life is different, some have had a very easy life while others struggled growing up. Some had a good home while other faced abuse on a daily basis.

While in Korea an Elder I met named Kim I would sit for hours and just listen while he spoke in broken English. The stories were very intense. The came the subject of Buddhism which i found very interesting.

Being in the army I could fly most anywhere in the world for about 10.00 dollars and my next stop was Thailand, this was mid 1980 I had just turned 18 and my first taste of the lifestyle.

Although Buddhism is a religion I never looked at it that way , the way I understood it it was a way of life. While at times when I first meet someone I am quick to judge , I try to set aside those feelings and give them a chance but most of the time my gut feeling was right.

I seldom give second chances but there are exceptions at times I am not sure why such as a friend I use to have Daddy M not one but two chances and he proved to be a pig.

I will help others if I see they are doing something to help themselves , if not I decline or I do not even bring it up.

most expect others to just jump in and fix what they have fucked up, remember 90% of our problems are self inflicting , this happens by using bad judgement , and not thinking about the choices and consequences. Trying to cheat the system , trying to get over on someone , be it a friend or even at times family.  I believe today family will fuck you faster and more often than someone you call a friend.

I have said this before I am not against religion I am against organized religion. Organized religion is evil, it is money driven, the poor feed the rich.

Live as you would want to be treated by others and give the same respect.

Today i am not a full practicing Buddhist but I walk with much of the beliefs, I do find time from time to time to meditate. I live a good life and I treat others with respect and I expect the same in return. The only down fall is some take my kindness as a weakness and those who walk into me blind are in a pasture they have never walked.

I can care and have great love for you but that switch can be turned off in a split second and never turned back on, this includes family.

I have nor do I allow drama into our life, I stop it before it becomes poison . The same way I handle problems , I handle before they become a problem.

To have a  successful and growing relationship both have to be honest and upfront , both have to be truthful and able to communicate their needs.

Compatibility is the most important thing when trying to build a relationship. It is okay to give and take on somethings , but if you give on needs it will never work..

The almighty married Dominant who is cheating on his wife. This is no Dom in any way shape or form. His wife wont suck cock or take it up the ass, and not into pain. This is a kink to them and nothing more. They prey on those who are submissive because they believe you are weak and simple minded. They believe you just want to be used and punished.

Your a piece of ass, only able to experience submission when the Dominant can get away from his wife. He comes to your place or you get a room. You suck dick , get your ass beat and your dropped off. Ill text you later..

I get emails all the time and comments as well one just the other day about seeing a married Dom that turned into a disaster , she was able to see she was just being used.

A close friend of mine was seeing a married Dom, why ? I do not have a clue. He could only go out when he had something to do, other than that he was stuck home with wifey.

So he moved and the relationship ended or so she thought, when he sent her a text she politely turned him down and all of a sudden he had found someone younger and told her to go fuck herself.

A few months later another text. Want to Fuck ? She did not reply and the text continued, so I decided to send him an email on fetlife. He would not answer me , but continued to text her and tell her how weak she was followed by the names again. I sent him a total of 8 emails , shrugs. I even invited him to a local function , but that went unanswered …..

I would think as a submissive or slave while in a relationship you would want the whole pie and not just a slice. I would think you would want to be treated with respect. I would think you would want to be cared for. I would think you would want to be more than a piece of ass. I would think you would want to experience the training process, the experience of earning your collar.  Maybe I am wrong ?

My way is not the only way , but i do have a proven formula that I have put together and used and in my relationship it works, and it works well. I trained to fit my needs , I trained to help arianna , I trained so that she could achieve goals, and Ive supported her. Being supportive plays a huge role , just as communication.

As always i got off track a little, but if you follow you know this already. I love sharing my life , I love sharing my growth when it comes to the lifestyle…

Much love

Vile

 

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Masters Creed, abuse, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Christian Grey, communication, control, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, viledesires62@aol.com on November 8, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sometimes I come across something that catches my eye, and what I am going to share turned up on my friends list on Fetlife.  I found the Writing of Master James to be right on.

While my way is not the only way I have touched on many things that most disagree with, when I use the word protocols people laugh, when I use the word consistency most laughed, when I use the word rules most laugh , and that is all good until the relationship fails.

You wake up one morning and now your Christian Fucking Grey like him not having a clue and your super Dom, or King Master you want the title you want to be adored and worshiped but you do not want the responsibility , not really caring what effects your having on someones feelings or emotions, or the lasting effects.

The part time Dom has a on and off switch , but I can promise you the Submissive does not have such a switch. So while you the Dominant are making your demands after a long absents your submissive is faking it just to please you which does not equal submission.

I have also talked about rules having a few in place, you can cause a overload if you pile on the almighty 128 Rules most follow when they have no clue.

I have also talked about how being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig , it is a 24/7 365 gig.  You the part time submissive sitting at home at night watching TV or reading a book while picking up your phone to see if you have received a email or a text , and this can go on for days, weeks and even a month or so.

So looking over my friends feed on Fetlife this title caught my eye and I clicked and started reading. I emailed Master James to see if I could re-post here on my blog and he was more than happy to let me share….

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Other controversies aside, what first garnered my modicum of notoriety on this site, was not my social commentary, my love of suits, my satirical humor, my rope, my photos, or my ideological battles with socialist reform zealots……

No, it was D/s. The fact that I audaciously identified as a Master, maintained multiple 24/7 D/s relationships, led a House, and focused my energy on boring stuff like protocol, rather than the fun stuff that looks great in photos and videos.

To this very day, this remains the staple diet of my inbox. Messages flow in, asking a mundane 34 year old stranger from the other side of the planet how to fix the problems in their D/s relationship.

Well, over the years, one issue continues to be a prevalently central element to the problems people face. And after a raft of recent messages from Doms where this issue became apparent. I decided it was time to address it specifically:

It’s the issue of perception. The perception of what a 24/7 D/s relationship is and what it takes. Or alternately, the issue of misconceptions as to what a 24/7 D/s relationship takes.

The majority of messages I get from Doms, start by highlighting issues in their dynamic. And then asking me for tips on training to fix it, and/or protocols to strengthen it. Whist completely missing the root of the problem.

So here’s my Uber-Dom pro tip……..
The secret to the root of 98% of problems in your D/s dynamic, that are caused by you, and stand in the way of you a achieving a functional 24/7 dynamic…..Are you ready for this?

Consistency!

That’s right folks. Consistency and the dedication required to sustain it.

You can research, read blogs, order books off Amazon, go to countless workshops, and write up the most intricate rules, protocols, and punishments. But all the best ‘how-to’ guides and training programs in the world won’t work, if you don’t have the commitment, the dedication, and most of all; the consistency to see them through.

And this is where 99% of D/s relationships fall apart.

Being on the D side of the slash in a 24/7 power exchange dynamic isn’t a part time job, a hobby, a passing interest, or a play thing…. It’s full time. And I don’t mean full-time in the sense of a full-time job. Those in which you do your 8 hours and you knock off and go home.
When we say 24/7, we actually mean 24/7. It isn’t just a catchy title. There are no knock-off times, overtime pay, weekends, sick days, public holidays, or annual leave.

You can’t expect to be a Dom when it’s convenient for you, and expect her to be a Sub when it’s convenient for you., and call it 24/7…. You will inevitable have different ideas of what and when constitutes convenient. You can’t expect to be able to only enforce your rules occasionally, but expect them to be followed all the time. Humans just don’t work that way bro.

You’re setting you both up for failure. But only one of you ends up getting the cane. And you get surprised that she resents you rather than thanks you???

The first step, is figuring out if you want to do this as described. Because any less and you’re not setting yourself up for success.

The second step, is only implementing rules or protocols you yourself are both willing and able to enforce ‘consistently’. When you pick these rules, make sure they are functional. And remember this golden rule: “Never set a rule, or give an order, that you aren’t 100% sure will be obeyed!” Otherwise, once again, you are not setting yourselves up for success.

With this in mind, it behoves you to start off keeping rules simple and minimal.

The third step, is to be her Dom. And you need to be that guy every minute of every day. When you go to sleep at night, when you wake up in the morning. When work is stressing you out and you just couldn’t be bothered. Even when she’s on shark week and she can’t stand you.

My final advice is, that if this isn’t for you. Then that’s cool. Enjoy having a part-time, fun, play based, D/s dynamic. They are great, and they are super fun. They have clearly defined start and stop times to signal when the game is in play. And they have the relevant rules that only apply whilst all parties are on the field of play.

These types of D/s dynamics are great for busy people in casual and short term relationships. They can also be positive, functional, and sustainable and can provide a strengthening element of escape, release, and connection in wonderful long term relationships.

But make your choice and stick to it. Nothing destroys an otherwise good relationship quite the way a half assed attempt at 24/7 power exchange does.

Because anyone looking to have someone approach life as full-time submissive. While they themselves are only going to rock up as a Dom on a part time-basis; can’t be surprised when the sub quits (or in my case ‘unionise’ and seek collective bargaining power).

If you want a full-time sub, then start by being a full-time Dom.

https://fetlife.com/users/1751801/posts/2818790

Thank you Master James for allowing me to share

The Master’s Creed


Author Unknown

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman could give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind. I dominate you only because you have allowed it. I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other woman, and all the treasures of the earth. What you give freely can not in reality be bought.

Image

Vile