Everyone is different, we all have different needs. Subs and slaves have different needs. Some need strict discipline , some need more structure than others, some have the need for pain and humiliation, some have the need to be broken, and built back up. Some have very few to no limits, while others have a list a mile long. Some want massive amounts of attention, while some are introverts and really has no need to be cuddled. The Daddy Dominants is big on after care, he needs this time just as his baby girl does.
What ever your kink is, there is a Dominant to fit your needs. In out lifestyle it can take a while to find the one. The one who fills all voids. Then there are some who will give a little, bend if he is truly interested in someone.
The number one sought after Dominant is the Daddy Dom. In most cases he is much older than his submissive. He is very loving, caring, and seems to be understanding. He wants his little girl to succeed in life. He is there to give loving guidance. He does most of the cooking as well. The two together love attention, always hand in hand. The Daddy Dom is based more on discipline and structure. He is more of an over the knee spanker, or corner time dominant. Some are not very strict at all. It is the loving, supportive, and understanding features the Baby Girl is after.
Next the the lowest of all Dominants The Fake Predator, the on your knees bitch. He is cool with words, he tells you just what you want to hear, he preys on your problems, your weakness’s. They fact that one is needy makes his strike more dangerous. He is in a rush to meet, He demands you wear a skirt, most of the time nothing under. He will insist on booking a room. He has to rent a room because he is married. He demands sex on the first meet, he has brought a small bag of toys or just uses his belt. He will want to collar you on the first meet. Give you rules that you know you are unable to follow. He will hurt you, not only in the physical , but mentally. He will degrade you, humiliate to make you feel worthless.He will never take you to BDSM events. He will insist you are all he needs. He will slowly cut you off from friends, and sometimes even family. I have seen it take up to a year before the sub or slave figures this out. 99% of the time he preys on someone new to the lifestyle.
Next is the Doctor Dominant, the fixer. His prey are weak subs, those who are covered in problems, they feel they have no where to run to. Then this knight in shinning armor shows up with open arms. This relationship is not about sex, although in the beginning sex is often, then it dwindles down to nothing. Once he feels he has fixed the challenge is gone, he will move on to his next challenge. Or if he cannot fix he will pace all the blame on the submissive.
The sadist. His pleasure is your pain, humiliation , degrading. He is always thinking of new ways to use you. He craves the pain and fear in your eyes. He cannot function properly during sex without inflicting some type of pain. He needs little attention, as a matter of fact he would rather put you in a closet until he is ready to use again. It seems he is unable to feel, unable to show any type of emotion, and unable to love. To a masochist this is her dream relationship. On the lighter side, he will take care of his, although he will push, he will not cause any permanent damage. You break your toy, you cannot play. Any limits are those giving to you by him. Again this just like any other is a consensual based relationship.
The Trainer. A dominant pet owner be it pony play, puppy, kitten. This is not in a lot of cases a sexual relationship, if it is it is not based on bestiality. Very strict but very loving he cares for his animals. This part of the lifestyle takes a lot of dedication, and patients. I do not understand, but again to each their own.
I call the confused. The Switch Dominant. I never really got this type, owning a submissive being in control, but have the ability to submit to another. Most male Switches are Bi sexual. as well. Those I know and are friends are very good dominants, I just do not understand. I find it hard when a submissive or slave can watch her dominant submit to another, and still respect. To each their own I am not judging.
Mr Cocky , the Ego Dominant, purely Ego driven. He is the one you see in leather, with no shirt. The sub or slave responds to the snapping of fingers. He is verbally abusive in most cases and at time can be physical. He wants to know why it took you 30 minutes at the store when it should of only took 29 minutes. He is constantly putting other Dominants down, he is always right the other dominants have no idea what they are talking about. He is controlling not in control.If he has profiles on social sites his name begins with Master.
The in control dominant. He carry’s himself in a authoritative manner, while in control, he never brags about who or what he is. He is fair, but strict, he imposes rules and guidelines, high on protocol. He is very communicative, he shows he truly cares. He never gives more than one can handle. While he respects his property’s limits, he will continue to push.He like the Daddy Dom needs attention, he wants to know he is loved and cared for. He will open up some, but as with any dominant we all have trouble with that. We view that as a weakness. A submissive or slave will use at one time or another, with out even realizing it. He ins very much in control. When he speaks you can hear, when he touches you can feel. he will insure your needs are met. He places his property in a number one status as the Daddy dom. He has most of the traits of all of the above, with the exception of the Fake Dominant. He is also big on after care, he truly cherishes what he has collard and calls his own.
BDSM is a positive based relationship, it should be one without any abuse, mental or physical. He should put you at number one without question. Take care of you when you are sick. He wants you healthy, after all if you are sick, no play for the owner.
The Submissive or Slaves are very special, strong. They have the need to give and please, and in most cases will do without question. They only have one true need in life. That is to be loved for who they are.
Like those who are still looking, even I we will find the one who fits like a glove, someone we can grow with.