Archive for the Patience Category

Sex And Submission

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, emotional, fetishes, fetlife, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, kinky, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, Protocols, Rules, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You take someone and mold them into one meeting all of your needs. Changing ones behavior to meet your needs , changing ones way of dressing to fit your needs, changing ones way of their thought process to fit your needs, teaching someone to fit your needs when it comes to service. Teaching someone how to please you sexually.

Teaching protocols which I am huge on , rules that are followed, protocols and rules that want to be followed, is the path you should want to take.

We all have different needs and wants , while the submissive or slave has needs, if the needs are met there are no wants. That should be your goal as a Dominant and a Master.

Every submissive is not a perfect fit, just as every slave is not a perfect fit, nor is every Dominant or Master , but the good news is there is a perfect fit for everyone , it just involves what many do not have and that is patience.

When entering the BDSM lifestyle not only a lot of thought should be giving , but a lot of care as well. In today’s world most relationships are formed via the internet. I do understand but again much more care needs to be giving. Behind a monitor we can be whom ever we want to be, our confidence level is much higher , we feel less vulnerable, almost powerless , we feel more in control of our emotions.. When meeting someone via internet the chances of it actually working is very slim , but it does and I have seen it work but for the most it does not. Meeting via internet everything is not fully disclosed , and it may not even be on purpose, but it is missed.

The downfall of most relationships are a lack of patience, even more so in out lifestyle, but the one key element that is looked over is having a clear definition of who and what you are. Having a clear definition of what your needs are , a clear definition of the type of relationship you need to survive on a daily basis.

You as a submissive may meet a Sadist but you are not a Masochist , he may be the nicest person you have ever met but you are not a fit and if you move forward the relationship is doomed even before you start.
You may be a submissive only in the bedroom , the Dominant you met on line may be looking for a Total power exchange , or TPE, again he is not the perfect fit.

Submissive meets Dominant online , maybe meet once then the submissive up and moves most of the time leaving most everything behind , only to find out she was no longer in Kansas.
The painting is no longer a painting it is a unfinished drawing that has been in the works for years, all of this because of that one word Patience.

When entering a relationship it has to be adventitious for both not just one , it has to benefit both not just one, both have to have their needs met not just one. Again you need to have a clear definition of who and what you are.

Although it is a give and take relationship , and that being true in any relationship , I believe it runs much deeper in a D’s or M’s lifestyle. The care is much different and in most cases the communication is not only much different but much more deep.

Many times a Dominant or Master will say I want to train you , but soon after entering the relationship that one word is forgotten, and no training ever takes place but it slips your mind as well because you do not have that clear definition.

A good friend of mine Lizzy emailed me a couple of weeks ago , because she wanted me to speak with a Dominant who was pursuing her for a relationship. The second email he sent her , which she forwarded to me he was explaining that sex was the most important part of BDSM. He also did not understand why she had someone listed as a sister on her fetlife profile, when in fact they were not sisters. The Dominant contacted me in the beginning but after that statement he was told to contact me again and he did not , mainly because his fake cover had been blown.

The courting process before entering a D’s or M’s should be friendship first, compatibility means everything. You never let someone try and define who and what you are, if you are allowing this again you do not have a clear definition of who and what you are.

The Negotiation Process , this is where you find out if your compatible in the lifestyle. This is where the Dominant lays out his training process, this is where he lays out the expectations of the relationship , this is where he will tell you his protocols, his standards in private and public, his beginning rules for you, this is where he tells you about his needs , his kinks , his fetishes , his sexual preferences. This is where he draws you a clear picture on how he sees himself in a everyday D’s or M’s relationship.

You may have a hard limit when it comes to humiliation. You may have a hard limit when it comes to sharing, you may have a hard limit when it comes to anal sex , or being face fucked. It could be a number of things or maybe somethings are negotiable.
If you say no i will not do those things and the Dominant is firm in his needs then you are not the right one for him and there is no reason to continue the thought of having a relationship.

Anyone who knows Arianna and I know we are a perfect fit, what makes us a perfect fit is I understand her, I understand her thought process, I understand what makes her do the things she does, but most of all I understand communication is needed. I know when to talk , I know when to ask questions , and I also know when she needs to be left alone so she can think and clear her mind. I say yes more than I say no , but when I say no I mean it. When she has one of her manic days at times I let her run, but I know when to reel her back in, so at times saying no is not an option.

I did train Arianna to fit my needs , I did train to fit my wants. I trained her sexually to do the things I like without being told what to do and when to do it. She follows my protocols , my rules to a T. I control everything but at the same time I am fair and I can assure you I give back more than I take. I put a great deal of work into our relationship to insure it runs smoothly.

I give Arianna down time when I think it is needed to visit family and friends , I do not try to isolate her which is a bad habit of some dominants , and that is mainly because they have insecurity problems.

Respecting ones limits , this is something that is looked over way to much and the main culprit is a lack of caring or just simply not giving a fuck. The not respecting ones limits happens mostly when two are not in a relationship. What does someone care after a play session where you get really fucked up either mentally or physically the odds of ever seeing them again are slim to none.

While sex plays a huge role in any relationship , sex is not the foundation when it comes to a D’ or M’s. When I met someone if there was any resistance in the way I saw a relationship the conversation was over because I refused to bend.. If many did the same they would see life in a much better place…
Make no mistakes it is you the submissive or slave who has to adapt

earn

Vile

Training No patience..No perseverance

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Collarme.com, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominance, Dominants Protocol, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Patience, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, submit, sucking cock on March 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am still looking for a genuine one who doesn’t think that Slave Training is like popping up an energy pill…no patience..no perseverance …How can they expect to reach the ‘destination’….Any girl feels to the contrary..most welcome to inbox me….BUT only after having read my full profile.

This is a topic in a Fetlife group from a Dominant , a Dominant with no patience , an online Dominant looking for another Slave..

Relationships can be found online eHaromy says so Christian Mingle says so as well as Match. The jokes of the century are Alt. com and the famous Collarme, both are pussy farms and nothing more. Those two are one of the few places you pay for spam, and its not even good spam.

The other side of the story there are many who believe or think they are submissive but they are not. Maybe from talking to others , in person or a chat room , reading a story or a book , and then when you meet a Dominant your like what the fuck is going on ? You are hearing what is being said but your not listening , and what may seem like abuse on your end is really a lack of communication on your end. Most of the time a good Dominant can catch those who are living in a fantasy world and tell her her to move on, unless hes just looking for a fast fuck.

When you add a combination of things together in a relationship Patience tops the list along with being honest, telling the truth, being who and what you are. At number one though is keeping your word. Keeping your word will push the relationship in high gear.

If your training consist of a couple of monthly meetings that last about an hour sometimes two, and it is a little bondage , or your time is spent on your knees or your back. The truth is your being used, your a fuck toy and nothing more.

Once you enter a D’s or M’s relationship you will go through different levels of your relationship, the first being getting to know each other. If the Dominant if only interested in sex there you go, that is what your relationship will be based on.

Your communication is going to grow on different levels as you both begin to explore new sides of your freedom. There will be different levels of trust. There will be different levels of structure . Your needs will change and will continue to change until you find that place you have been looking for , and it is up to your Dominant to change with you. What keeps these levels growing is communication. If you are afraid to communicate in fear of being rejected or yelled at , even dumped , then there is not much there anyway.

We are in full control of our own lives , it is us who controls the paths we take and Don’t take. If your going to be Dumb you gotta be tough.

kneeling62

Vile

Trust And BDSM

Posted in 55 Gallon Aquarium, 60 Gallon Aquarium, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants, Master, Master And Slave, Patience, Safe and Sane, Security, slave, Submission, submissive, submit, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Trust is a huge need in our lifestyle. Without trust you cannot fully submit , you can submit but not fully. Your body and actions can submit but your mind cannot. If your mind cannot submit there is noway of knowing what the feeling is or what the meaning of submission is.

I have an awesome hobby and that is my awesome freshwater planted aquariums. I have a 60 Gallon aquarium and a 55 Gallon that Arianna set up for me.

In my 60 gallon I have a few very unique fish. Two Baby Whales an Elephant Nose , and my Black Ghost Knife.
The fish are not only unique but they are not for the novice Aquarist , which is a mistake I made first starting out , but it turned out I was pretty lucky, because all are going on a year now and growing a becoming more active.

All of the fish are very docile so I have to be careful what i add to the tank.

It was some 6 months those 4 fish would hide and only come out for feeding then back to hiding, so for some time they were not that enjoyable….

The last month has there has been so many changes , now the 4 of them are out all day.

The other day I called Arianna into the living room , and I put my hand in the tank near the top and the two Baby Whales and the Elephant nose came to the top and they allowed me to touch them.

Then again this am I called Arianna in and I had a cube of blood worms in my hand and all 4 and my two clown Loaches were eating from my hand, which is really cool to watch.

As far as freshwater fish got all 4 of those fish are highly intelligent and can even be trained.

I have planted the aquariums with all live plants , the plants help keep the water in check but they also add beauty to the tank.
What I felt was important was , I wanted to try and duplicate their environment , with plants , rocks , and driftwood.

The plants , rocks and driftwood also provide a secure place for them to hide. It has a very natural setting and really makes them feel at home.

In the process I also purchased what are called schooling fish , white clouds, some neon tetras and a few others.
The first week they are stuck together and it really looked awesome and it was really relaxing to just sit back and watch them move through the water.

One night I was sitting and just watching, I had turned off the lights in the living room so I could truly enjoy the view , and I noticed something really odd.

As I sat there and watched none of the fish were schooling they were all doing there own thing. Swimming around moving in and out of the plants and driftwood.
Sitting there and looking I was somewhat confused , and I thought something was wrong.

So I jump on Google , which is my second best friend , and started doing research , not really finding anything , I called someone I know who owns a local pet store , mostly fish and I was telling him what was going on.
After a few seconds of silence he started talking. You my friend have the perfect environment , you have created a home.
What is more important they feel safe , they do not feel threatened in anyway and the only reason fish school is so they can protect each other.

That is the same with my 4 buddy’s allowing me to pet them they trust me. That is the same reason they no longer hide they trust me and they trust their environment.

The same was when I sat up my 55 Gallon this is before I called my friend.
Arianna and went to a pet store and I purchased white clouds and neons because the tank was in my office and it would be relaxing to watch during work.
A week into adding the fish I turned and looked and I was like what the fuck? There was not one fish that was schooling , that is when I made the call.

Okay so what am I getting at ? Where am I going with this ? What is the point in me talking about my hobby ?

In our lifestyle trust is everything , because without trust you have nothing. If you do not have trust your relationship cannot grow and you will never reach the full potential of your submission. Meaning you will lose out on a lot, you will not see yourself grow inside or out.

In order to reach that level of trust you have to have honest and open communication.
Once you have gained the level of trust , and the Dominant has earned your trust your travel them begins.
You will have the need to submit and not just the want. You will have the need to serve and you will have the need to grow.

That is what you want out of a relationship , that is what you need out of the relationship.

I have said many times communication is the key and the base of the relationship , but Trust also plays a major factor in your growth.

Trust knowing the one you are following is going to lead you down the right path. Trust knowing the one your with is going to respect your limits. Trust is knowing you will not be hurt mentally or physically.
Trust is knowing your number one and will remain number one.

Arianna and I went out and I was looking for a new ecig battery ,and during the conversation I started asking questions about the liquid he was selling.
I was truly interested in one of the batteries he had , then he opened his mouth and started lying to me, and I knew it , but I just stood there listening to what he had to say.
At the end of the conversation I thanked him for his time and I left without buying anything.

I have a one strike process , not the standard three you get while playing baseball.
The problem with giving three strikes you usually end up giving another then another, and another.

If a man hits you once , he will do it again , and again. If he calls you a stupid whore out of anger he will do it again and again. If he cheats on you then yes he will do it again and again.

I have a statement I live by. An angry mans words is a calm mans thoughts. so if he gets angry and starts yelling and belts out you stupid whore , those words did not just come to mind , he has thought of those words before.

You can love and not trust , you love because you need the companionship , you also the security. You can love well sorta love and not enjoy being with that one.

trust

Vile

If I Control Your Mind

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, being used, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Patience, Protocol, Respect, Rules, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

How much of her submission do you want ? Have you ever wanted a Slave or submissive who has no inhibitions? Have you ever wanted a slave or submissive who is 100% compliant ?
Have you ever wanted a relationship where the word argue is not in either ones vocabulary?
Have you ever wanted a Docile pet, Baby Girl, submissive or slave ?
Do you want someone who will follow you without question ?

The truth is you can have all of the above and more. The bad news is it takes a little work on your part, the Dominant, yes you are going to have to put in a little effort.

You know I was chatting with a Dom on Facebook the other day, and he told me his life was basically a wreck, and when I told him he needed a plan, he laughed at me. He laughed and he meant it.

If you the Dominant enters a relationship and you are true about what you want and need, and your willing to put your slave or submissive first, dedicate the time that is needed, you can have anything you want, and I do mean anything, and without question.

Some of you are going to say dude your full of shit, there is no such thing as a relationship like that is there?
I am here to tell you I am living the dream, and you the Dominant can live the dream as well.

BDSM is not about pain or how many bruises you can leave. BDSM is not about humiliation. BDSM is not about barking orders. Most of all BDSM is not about demanding respect or submission, it is about earning both.

You can never demand submission, it does not work that way, but some have it in their mind, I am Dominant and you will submit.
You may luck out and find a submissive who is down and out with a low self esteem, who will follow you for a short time, and meet your silly demands, but that bull shit is so short lived.

Control, that word openings up a whole new world. If your truly in control of yourself, your life, your surroundings the moon is the limit.
Being in full control, you will earn respect, you will earn the right to be called Sir, or Daddy even Master. Those titles what ever they are worth are earned. If you have to demand they mean nothing, nothing at all.

So we go a little deeper, instead of telling someone to crawl to you, or having trouble enforcing rules, not wanting to follow rules.
Why not have someone who wants to crawl to you, or someone who has the need to follow rules, the need to please ?

A D’s or M’s relationship is really easy, it does not require any drama, , no yelling, no getting angry and losing your temper. Just being who you say you are, just doing what you say your going to do, and keep your word, and be nothing but truthful….

Being truthful will help you earn the trust that is needed, and earning the trust will also lead to submission.

One thing that gets to me, is a Dom will say you must always be truthful and he is living a lie. You cannot expect someone to be someone if you are not who you are suppose to be…

This strategy will not only work is a D’s or M’s relationship but much of this can work in a vanilla relationship.

We as men, Dominant or not, we have to value our partner , we have to respect and be thankful for who and what they are, because in the end they are the only ones who will have our back in a time of need.

If you control their mind , for the most as well all know BDSM is mental, BDSM is communication, BDSM is about control and not controlling, BDSM is about having patience, BDSM is about understanding and caring about ones needs.

Being able to fully understand your partner and what makes them tick.
Being able to let your partner rant or share their thoughts without getting angry. Being able to understand when they are feeling funky and just letting them alone for a while.
You would not believe how many arguments could be avoided by using this practice.

You have to learn when it is okay to ignore certain situations and when some needs to be addressed.

I screw everything up, it is all my fault, I did it, I cant do anything right. Come on you have all heard this.
There are times when you just stay quite and let things pass, instead of drilling to find out what is wrong.

I mentioned how important the journal is, this gives the Dominant a great tool to find out where his slave or submissive is coming from.

Communication, several times a day I ask Arianna what is on her mind. She knows this is free time, she can share her thoughts and we talk about them.
Even if it is something that was brought up before, we should be open to talk about it.
Well we have already talked about that so there is no need to bring it up again.
Sure there is and it may have greater importance this time around.

This is how we access the open communication. The slave or sub will feel they can now talk about anything and everything.
This is also a step in the right direction when it comes to trusting.

Although we want to know what they are thinking, we want to know why they are thinking it. I know it sounds complicated but it is really not.

I mentioned the first 90 days of training. The training process is more effective if the two are living together.
Reason being there has to be some form of consistency while training if not , the process can take much longer. The 90 days does not mean training is completed because it never really ends.
As we grow we learn, and the more we learn the more we share. We also want our property to grow as well.

Living together allows you to put rules and protocols in place and the Dominant can be sure they are being followed.

If you the Dominant are in the right frame of mind, your property will want to follow without question.

Getting into the mind that is where you want to be. You should know your property inside out. You want to learn things they have never told anyone else.

Whether you know it or not when you the Dominant shows anger this is a weakness, and it is a weakness they slave or submissive will use against you.
These are buttons that can be pushed and will be pushed. Anger controlling anger take a lot of control and self training.
You want to figure the slave or sub out, what makes them tick, their thoughts , their needs, but if they ever figure you out, it is game over, and showing your anger, and being abusive, be it verbal, mental or physical, you just might as well pack up your bags.
Being happy in a relationship is one thing, but a submissive no matter how happy they may be if they are not getting what they need, it will be found somewhere else.
I know I am speaking from experience. Once you lose that control, it is nearly impossible to regain, I know I lost.
The best way to start is to think before you speak, think about how it is going to sound coming out of your mouth.

An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts, that is true, just like a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. So thinking before we speak, taking in that deep breath, really makes a world of difference.

The calmer your are, the more in control you are, the greater the submission will grow.

What many of us fail to see is there is no right way, we all have different needs, finding the right partner to fill that void is the right way.
The last thing we should do or want to do is try to change someone. We can improve but to change is not fair…

mind

Vile

BDSM , Depression, And Those Who Are Cutters

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Anger Issues, anti depression medication, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Behavior Modification, Bipolar, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Discipline, discussion group, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Health, Master, Master And Slave, Patience, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is no secret Depression is running wild today. 1 in 10 adults suffer from some type of depression.

http://www.cdc.gov/features/dsdepression/
An Estimated 1 in 10 U.S. Adults Report Depression

http://www.thementalhealthblog.com/2013/10/teenage-depression-and-suicide-statistics/

1 out of 8 teenagers are identified as having depression.
Depression is twice as more likely to affect females compared to males.
Approximately 20% of teenagers may suffer from teen depression before they achieve adulthood.
Around 5% of teens may experience major depressive disorder at any one point in their life.
30 percent of teenagers with depression also experience a drug abuse problem.
Between 20 to 50 percent of adolescents are affected by depression who have a family history of depression or some other mental disorder.
Depressed teens are more likely to have difficulty at schools and at jobs, and to struggle with relationship.
It is the sixth leading cause of death among the young children age 5-14.
Many adolescents with depression will suffer from more than one episode and 70 percent teens may have more than one episode before adulthood.
Teens with major depression seem to catch physical health problems more frequent than other teenagers.
In the United States, about 5,000 teens who experience depression commit suicide every year.
Most teenage depression can be effectively treated with medication, psychotherapy or combined treatment. Youngsters are more likely to react to treatment when they get it early in the course of their health issues

Now while I do not have a PHD, I am going to say these number are a little higher just because of the unreported cases there are. You may even be able to bump it another 3 or 4%.

There are over 5000 cases of teen suicide every years, and most come from families who suffer from some type of mental disorder.

Those who are in the lifestyle, the depression number run much higher. I am not sure what the connection between depression and BDSM are, but there is a clear pattern.

That is why if you are a submissive or slave, and you suffer from some type of depression, it is very important you find an experienced Dominant if you should choose to take that path. You need someone who not only cares about you but understands you.

http://www.teenhelp.com/teen-health/cutting-stats-treatment.html

Statistics on teen cutting are hard to come by because so few studies have been done on the subject.

Broad estimates are that about one percent of the total U.S. population, or between 2 and 3 million people, exhibit some type of self-abusive behavior. But that number includes those with eating disorders like anorexia, as well as those who self injure. (1)

A 2002 study published in the British Medical Journal estimated that 13 percent of British 15- and 16-year-olds purposely injure themselves. (2)

In the U.S., it’s estimated that one in every 200 girls between 13 and 19 years old, or one-half of one percent, cut themselves regularly. Those who cut comprise about 70 percent of teen girls who self injure.

Now these numbers are pretty old, so I am sure the numbers have grown, and will continue to grow, until someone mainly the parents be held accountable.

Since the majority of my relationships have been long term, well for the most, I have been with two cutters, those were chong and Bea, bea being the worse.

In both relationships I was able to help the two over come the cutting. Never at one time did I try to discourage the cutting, that is working against them and what they are feeling.
The thing I had to do was try to understand what made them want to do such a thing. Both gave the same answers it was a release, a release of deep inner pain.

Chong was really easy, she did not come from an abusive family, she had moved to the US at the age of 18, and had entered many abusive relationships. It was not long after we had moved in together, the cutting stopped. It was through hours and hours of communication, and listening to her, and showing that I cared, she slowly began to stop, it was not something that happened over night.
Chong suffered from depression, and was on no medication, but most of her depression was from having no family in the US and no one that really cared about her.
I got her in to see a doctor and one prescription of wellbutrin and in about 45 days she was a new person, she made a 360 degree turn around.

Bea was much different, what looked like the everyday go lucky family was not what it really was.
Bea was more of an introvert she felt out of place and only had one true friend, who was also a cutter.
Bea was forced to go to counseling, her mother would stand in the bathroom while she pissed in a cup, because they knew she was on drugs.

While in counseling she was forced to set in group settings, and the result was she never opened up. She ended up telling the doctors what they wanted to hear.
She was 18 when we moved in together, and I was 37, her parents went fucking nuts, but you know what I was now in charge.

I remember the first time I caught her cutting, I did most of the cooking, so dinner was almost finished and I walked in the bedroom, and there she was sitting on the bed.
I looked and said hey when your done dinner is finished. It was maybe 5 minutes and she walked out, we ate no conversation, then I instructed her to wash dishes.

Once finished I told her to go get her razor blade and she just looked at me. I said go get the razor blade now.
Once back we were sitting on the couch and I asked her, where is the place that feels the best, and she pointed to her thigh. I pulled my pants off and told her to hand me the blade and she looked at me confused.

I took the blade from her and I started to cut myself and her hand stopped me. I pushed it back and I cut my inner thigh. Fucking ouch, wow that shit hurts what the fuck. Bea said you don’t understand , my reply was I understand more than you think.

It started around the 5th grade she was blamed for everything, she could do nothing right. Her parents would fight every night, screaming and yelling calling each other names, but they failed to see was the toll they were taking on their daughter.

What is that around your neck ? She said your collar. What does that mean? It means you own me. What do I own ? You own all of me. Inside out correct? Yes Master inside out.

Positive reinforcement is the greatest drug in the world. Showing someone they are loved and cared for is the greatest drug in the world, communication is the greatest drug in the world, and the funny thing is all of those prescriptions are free, no doctor needed.

The more we communicated, the more she trusted me. It was not long she began to open up to me and sure enough she had been molested by a family member when she was around the age of 5. Ahhh the root, every problem has a root, and she never trusted anyone enough to share that root until now. The abuse went on for about 4 years.
I found out in six months what her parents could not find out in 18 years, all they knew was it was her fault and only her fault. Someone had to take one for the team and it might as well be her.

some eight months into the relationship we were talking and she just busted out laughing. I was in total shock because I had never even seen her smile.

I started with small rewards for not cutting. Dinner dates, movies, long drives, and at times clothes.

Even though our split was somewhat messed up, I understood why she left the way she did, its all good.

Today she is a teacher, married with two kids, so yea I did okay..

Every problem has a root, and if you just medicate the problem they never get better. Group setting do not always work, because if they do open up, it is a false door they are opening. You are being told what you want to hear.
Trust is the same in everyone it takes time, and if they do not trust like I said when you open the door it goes no where.

So now today if you Google BDSM and mental health there are very few negative articles, in fact most are positive when it comes to the lifestyle and it is consensual.

I have spoken to two of Arianna’s doctors and both agreed the lifestyle we are living is good for arianna and beneficial for her as well. Living in a structured home with love and no drama. That is two out of two.

The parents need to take a bigger role in not only their children, but as a family. There has to be a time in the evening when all TV’s and cell phones are cut off, and you talk, but you talk and you listen.

The parents may even have to look for other work if your out of the home more than 45 or 50 hours a week

Don’t get me wrong the teen has to be held accountable but only if they should be not because it is easier. Today it is much easier to bring in the Xbox or the play station, than it is to take the responsibility that parents should.
The thing most parents forget is they did not ask to be brought into this world, you Mom and Dad brought them in.

So you look at the suicides , and the shootings at the schools, there was something wrong, something bad wrong, and the parents were to blind to see.

BDSM

In my view is healthy again I do not have a PHD but many times you can have a PHD and still be a fucking dumb ass.

If you the submissive are in a well structured home, with rules that really benefit you. You have an open line of communication, and you trust I mean really trust, you can live a healthy life and be happy.
You may not find yourself jumping up and down with joy, but you will feel stability in your life.
Consensual is the key word, and being with someone who understands you. That means you have to be honest and upfront about all of your problems.

If your with a Dominant and this topic does not come up, then he does not have your best interest in mind..

cutter1

Vile

The Whining Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, fuck buddy, fucking, Master, Master And Slave, Masters, Patience, pussy, Rules, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 11, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Ive been poking around wordpress some and I have noticed there seems to be a lot of Dominants who Whine a lot.

After reading some of their post, I would think they would be questioning there role in the lifestyle.

You know sometimes we want something so bad but we really do not have a clue.
Maybe you opened a Pandora’s box and your not sure how to handle things, or maybe it is more responsibility than you thought it would be..

One thing I recommend for a new Dominant is to find a mentor, and finding a mentor is really not that hard, because most Dominants will jump at the chance to help an up coming Dominant.
The thing that is hard is investing all the time you need to, and the listening and taking in the information but more importantly retaining it all.

The problem is though once you read a few articles, and you have spent sometime in a few chat rooms you now know everything. There is no one who can tell you anything now because you have 3 weeks worth of Dominant school under your belt.

I was reading a blog the other day, I guess a submissive had left and this dude was like crying. Professing his love for her, almost begging her to come back, well he was begging her to come back.

I will be the first to admit, there has been times when I had to say you know Vile you have bit off more than you can chew, and I ended the relationship.

So in more than 20 years I have had two slaves leave me, one was my fault and the other she was just stupid, and I invested way more time than I should have, and the fact she could not be loyal.

The first who left was Bea, and I understood, but she left me while I was in the hospital.
The other who was really to young left to go back to her BF who was unemployed, I wished her well.
The only thing that upset me when she left was, she left the fucking dirty dishes, WOW how could she do such a thing.

Okay so I was upset for like well maybe 5 minutes maybe a little longer.
You cannot force someone to stay , if you are at the point of begging, the relationship is to far gone.

I am going to let you Dominants in on a little secret.

Gentlemen there is no shortage of pussy, it fucking grows like weeds. There is more pussy out there than you can imagine.
If you are truthful and upfront and your not really looking for a relationship, maybe just a friends with benefits type thing, there are times she will go along with it.

There is no shortage on pussy. You can have your pick, red, yellow, black or white. American, Asian, German, Middle Eastern, you can have your pick.

I will share something else with you guys. You can have your pick of just about anyone you want.

Key word GAME, you got to have Game, because if you walk up to some fine ass woman and your drooling you have lost.

Two greatest fears in life, the fear of loss, and the fear of rejection.
The little hottie you see walking alone in the mall and your afraid to walk up and start talking to her, guess what? Nobody is fucking her, because if your afraid to walk up and talk to her, so are other dudes, and she has a good collection of vibrators at home. Game you got to have Game.
hottie

You know what women love more than looks? Confidence , it is true chicks dig a dude who is confident.

If your burning through relationship after relationship then you need to come up with a new plan because what your doing is not working.

The more you whine like a little bitch, the less respect if any you will gain. Once they have seen that side of you it is over, it is done, you cannot change anyone’s mind, unless they feel sorry for you because your begging like a little bitch.

You gotta have game

Vile

Breaking In A Slave Or Breaking A Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Discipline, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, fucking, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, masochist, Master, Master And Slave, non-consensual, Patience, Protocol, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, sex, sex slaves, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, sucking dick, The slave must adapt on July 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

There is clearly two different meanings but both can have the same outcome.

Just did a short story, The Breaking Of Sabrina. A woman who was broken at her husbands request. He lost and the Master won. That is something else we need to look at as well, choices and consequences, after all that is what life is about right ?

Breaking in a Slave is a term that is used once you start the training process, and as with breaking some humiliation is used during this process. The humiliation depends on how stable the Slave is mentally, and that is just one factor that comes into play.

Once you begin your search for a Slave not a Submissive, but a Slave you should have a clear picture of how you see your everyday life. You should already know what your intentions are, and what you expect the outcome to be.

To a novice Master who really has no experience, will really have a difficult time, mainly because he does not have a clue. Although there is a ton of Material out here , what works for one will not work for someone else. If the Master has a lot of drama or problems, the training will not be effective. Most associate a slave as just being sexual but that is so far from the truth, although there are just sex slaves who are just used for pleasure and nothing more.

Humiliation puts the slave in that mindset, you also have to point out you are not equal to them. It sounds worse than it really is, this is a mindset you are trying to achieve. To be a slave you have to feel like a slave.

First however the Slave must be willing , second and the most important factor the Master must be real and serious.

I actually sat down and thought about how my daily life would be if I had a slave living with me 24/7. Everything on my terms including sex. Sex is about me. Sex is about my needs being met, my wants.

I have changed Arianna life she has made a 360 degree turn. Today she does not see how she has changed, she does not see her submission, mainly because she lives it everyday.

She does not hear the words Master flowing from her mouth, or asking permission to use the bathroom, or to enter the bed. She does not see any of this, because not it comes natural.

That is when you know you as a Master Has reached your goal. You have created you own masterpiece. You have created something very special.

The bond is like no other, somehow it is stronger than love although your in love , it is a much different feeling, really hard to explain.

So from time to time you have to make slight changes, mainly because of the way Arianna feels about her submission.

Even the slightest change can make a huge difference, maybe in just a word someone uses, or the way they sit, the slightest change makes a huge, huge difference.

Breaking A Slave

This can be done willingly or not. I see it as a total breakdown of someones will, you change their whole thought process, and it could get to the point to where they cannot even think for their selves.

When someone ask you to break them, you need to find out what their reasons are, what do they hope to gain out of being broken?
In a short term relationship being broken could have severe effects, and the outcome could be harmful, or being incomplete in the process, meaning the Master is not their to bring back up.

So you take a Blank canvas , you strip the slave of everything, clothes, makeup, the ability to shave, they eat what you put in front of them.

You control their speech, their posture, how they dress, where they can sit, what if anything they wear.
This needs to be done on a daily basis, house rules are put in place. You limit where they can be in the house, when they can use the bathroom, shower, TV.
What you do, is allow family time, to speak on the phone, for 10 to 15 minutes, in front of you, checking emails in front of you. Not being allowed to close the bathroom door, you take away any privacy they want or need.

You use on a regular basis, showing no compassion or love. Be it just sucking your dick or crawling on top dumping your load and getting off walking out of the room leaving her there. That in its self is a form of humiliation, You have to use on a daily basis, without asking or explaining what your going to do. You want to keep their mind wondering. Trust me it works.

More sever would be extreme humiliation, physical beatings, calling names, such as whore, and slut, your worthless, who in the fuck would want you, you get the idea..

So I suppose in a way Arianna was broken, and here we are today, her feelings grow everyday, her submission continues to grow. She has a need to please.
I did just what I explained above leaving out the extreme. I keep a very tight leash on Arianna, I know where she is 24/7. She even had me install a tracker on her phone. I can pick up my phone and locate her within 50 feet.

total1

Vile