Archive for the poly Category

Do You Know What Training Really Is ?

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, Baby Girl, bdsm, being used, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, cunt, Daddy Dom, Deception, Depressed, Depression, Dominance Through Intimidation, Giving Head, Humiliation, infidelity, married, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, poly, Polyamory, Rules, Safe and Sane, selfish, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 25, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Lets take cock sucking out of the picture, while we are at it lets take a rule out a lot of you have, or have had.
Your not allowed to cum for a month, or maybe even two months

The second I spoke about is pure ego, and nothing more. The you are not allowed to touch your pussy or cum without my permission was something I did when I was in my twenties. If I had come across anyone who had been in the lifestyle for anytime when I said those words I was laughed at. They knew then I was not a experienced Dom.

Before you begin your Training there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.
1. Is this lifestyle really for me? You know your own feelings, but much research must be done, before being able to correctly answer.
2. Why do I need to be trained?
3. What do I hope to get out of being trained by a Dominant ?
4. Just how far do I want to go ?
5. What are some of my limits ? You probably have an idea, but you also may need to explore.
6. What Type of Dominant or Master should I be looking for ?
Remember we are all different , we all have different values, and methods. Some are very strict, while some are not. Some have rules and protocols while some do not. Some want to see their property excel in life, while others will still care about you but you are more of a physical object.

These are just a few of the questions you need to ask yourself before you begin your journey. Know what you need is very important. Never let anyone tell you what you need, or how they are going to change you.

Meeting your new Dominant and taking an assessment should be done while you are getting to know each other. This covers many areas.
Your health should be talked about in depth, medications, phobias as well. Your work should be discussed, as well as family and friends.

Here is a list of health questions I used.
Do you have any dietary restrictions?
Are you allergic to anything? (Scene materials as well as common allergies)
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? Dental bridges or hearing aids?
Do have any injuries that can keep you from service or play type training? (Neck, back, knee injuries)
Do you have any ongoing illnesses or chronic problems? What type of medications or treatments do you take for these?
Make a list of all the vitamins, herbal or nutritional supplements your take?
When was your last blood test and physical? Will you be willing to take a blood test or physical?
Do you use recreational drugs (including alcohol or tobacco)? What? How Often?
Do you have any addictions or are you struggling with an addiction?
Are you recovering from an addiction? Are you clean and/or sober? How long?
Have you suffered from abuse as a child? As an adult? (Physical, verbal, psychological, sexual, spiritual)
If so, are there any triggers that can cause you trauma now?
Do you abuse others, or have abused others, in the past? How have you addressed these problems?
Have you ever had any type of sexually transmitted disease? How was it, or is it, being treated?

All of these questions are very important, this is one of the ways besides communication you get to know someone. This will also prevent someone from getting hurt.

While there may not be a cure for many mental illnesses, I do believe that under the right house, and the proper structure , most can be kept under control, and managed.

Clarification. You will need clarification on the entire process. You will want to know what will be expected of you.

If you work or have children there will be limitations that will have to be put into place.

Just so you know this is not a Wham Bam Thank You Process. These discussions is something that should take place over time. This is a courtship, this is the getting to know each other time.
Go out to eat, catch a movie, long walks. The most important thing is to take your time. Communication is the most important thing in your relationship, but and there is a but, compatibility plays a major role.

Call me Sir, call me Master, call me Daddy, never fall for those demands. Each title no matter what should be earned and not demanded.

The RULE thing is never really clear, a lot of Dominants want to start out with rules before even entering a relationship.
Once your relationship gets to that point, when a Rule is giving out, there should be a clear explanation on why that rule is being put into place.

One thing I do and did, when I explained something to Arianna, I explained it in such a way there were no questions. Everything must be very clear.

It is also impossible to be told to memorize 30 or 40 rules. If the Dominant expects you to remember each and everyone , then he should be able to repeat them all.

We all have training ideas, but what works for one will not work for another.
The one thing you have to remember you are being trained to fit someone’s needs, it is you that will have to adapt to your new world, not the Dom.

In many cases you may need to be trained, looking for that structure in your life, or you may be perfectly fine, and your just entering a D’s or M’s relationship, at any rate you are still going to adapt to someone else’s world. Your life is going to really go through changes.

Some of the things that are important to us, is our family, we also need friends, you need to be able to go out, we all need down time.
During your negotiation part you need to make sure you will still be allowed to do the above.

If the Dominant you are meeting tells you he is married, make sure the spouse is okay with what he is doing. This is where it gets tricky because you cannot just take his word, after all if his wife says its okay for him to see other people, then it should be okay for you to talk to her.

He will come off well my wife is a bitch, she does not understand me, she does not fulfill my needs, she is always nagging.
Well!!! If things were really all that bad he would not be there.
I am staying because of the children. Yea that is a lame excuse.
He is cheating because she will not suck cock or take it up the ass but you will.
Remember you are now number two , and you will always be number two.
No Birthdays, no Holidays, no vacations, you are just a secret.

Training should start almost immediately once the two have agreed to enter a D’s or M’s relationship. The most effective way to train is while you are living together.
If your Dominant is a once a month warrior then you are not really going to get the whole picture.
This also happens when you see someone who is married, your in it for the benefits, and he is in it for the ass, and nothing more.

You the Submissive or Slave should have a good idea when it comes to what your looking for, and what your needs are. This is something you need to cover as well.
When you meet a new Dominant, and you are to intimidated or scared to talk openly about your needs then he is the wrong Dom for you.
A Dominant should make you feel at ease, relaxed. He should be easy to speak to, and not make any demands.
If you cannot speak freely and express your needs, how can you fully submit to him?

The first meeting all eyes should be on you. You should be doing all the talking, and the Dominant should have his total attention on you. If your shy he will keep the conversation flowing with questions
During this time he is taking in all the information. This is the time he is putting a training program together in his head.

Your question should be what does your training consist of? What do you think I will get out of your training ?

What are your protocols ? Are your protocols just private or are they public as well?

One thing I did, is I would request a journal be started something I could read everyday or week. I did not have to do that with Arianna because she had ten years worth of journals, so I really got a deep look inside her life.

There are rules and then there is sex. The two should never be mixed. Rules are meant to provide structure, and guidance.

A rule telling you to send a video on your anal training does not benefit you at all. You being told as a rule to send nude pics, does not benefit you at all.
If these are the things he is interested in, then he does not have your best interest in mind.

Being trained is real, and you need to be sure you are in the hands of someone who really cares about you. Someone who has open communication.
Our lifestyle is you are a True D’s or M’s is a mind thing. It is all about the Dominant getting inside your head, and having the ability to stay there, keeping you in that submissive frame of mind.

The first 90 days Arianna had almost zero freedom. She was allowed to call and visit family, she has a dear friend she was allowed to see, and of course work.
Other than the things above she spent 90 days learning Viles way.
Rules a few at a time, protocols, again Viles way, learning in service. Learning how to be a host in an M’s home.

The first thing I did, was introduce her to friends I had within the community.
Why did I do this? She has been in two Bad D’s relationships prior to me.
I told her I had been in the lifestyle for more than 20 years. So not that I had anything to prove, I introduced her to very close friends who had known me , here in the local community. This was a way to validate myself. I am who I said I was.

Any Dominant who tells you he has been in the lifestyle for 20 years knows people in the lifestyle, and he should be more than willing to introduce you to his friends.
99% of the time he will be active in the local community, if he is not then something happened.
It does not take much for a Dominant to get a bad name, and once your shunned , there is really not much he can do as far as meeting new subs or slaves, unless it is Via Collarme or something.
That should be a bad sign if he tells you he has no friends in the local community.
I know and I know others who need that interaction. We need to be able to talk to our friends, someone we can relate to.

There are warning signs to look for, and many times you see them but you over look them because you think he could be the one.
Well! he is nit the one, because there are thousands of ones out there, and if you settle for less than what you need, your relationship will be short lived.

Many Dominants who have no real life experience will try to isolate you, because they are still in the insecure mode. The married Dominant will even more isolate you, because you are his fuck toy on the side.
These are also warning signs you need to look out for, keeping you isolated is where the abuse begins, and once it starts you are the only one who can stop it.

You are a submissive you have the right to question, more so you have the right to say no.

Remember everything is a negotiation , this is when you talk about your needs, what you expect out of the relationship, as well as your limits.
You want everything out on the table, so there are no surprises.

Now the most important issues. What are you going to get out of the relationship? If you are not living together , how much time will be devoted to you?
Is the relationship going to be one on one or he is Poly? That is a very important question, if you do not ask he may bring it up at a later date.

If you are asked a direct question then give a direct answer, and do not tell something someone wants to hear, be honest.
If you ask a direct question you expect a direct answer.

If your going to submit, you cannot submit on your terms, if you happen to find a Dom who will allow you to do this , then what kind of Dominant is he ?

Also it is not that you will not have any say , but your whole thought process will be different, you are now in the follow position. The Dominant will lead you will follow.

When you first meet asking the proper questions, and giving honest answers would prevent so much drama and heartache. Many for what ever reason are to intimidated to speak up. If the Dominant has caused this, then you need to step away before even meeting him, so there is no connection.

You cannot gain a connection over the internet alone, well it can be done if both are honest. The truth is we can be who ever we want to be, and make you believe most anything without even meeting.

Married Dominants, they do not want a relationship with you. You will never be able to experience what the D’s lifestyle is truly like. You will never get that one on one attention you need, he will never be available when you need him, but he has agreed to take care of you, he has agreed to be there for you. The truth is that will never happen.
He will never leave his wife, his home, his cars, nor his children, nor is he going to part with his money.
Why would he leave he has the best of both worlds? He has everything at home, and someone who will suck his cock on the side. The truth hurts huh?

In the lifestyle training is for the betterment of the submissive or slave.
You have to decide if you want to be part of a growing relationship, or just a piece of ass on the side that no one knows about. The dirty little secret you cannot even talk about, because your married Dom is afraid you will blow his cover.
Sitting at home on your couch, crying because you cannot get a reply to a text is no way to live.
He cannot text because he is having a cookout with his wife and kids.
The biggest myth is you are the only one he is seeing on the side, if you believe this then you are dumber than your Dom thinks you are already, and yes he thinks your Dumb, he thinks you can do no better, and he thinks you are wrapped around his fingers, and when you leave after a year or so he will find someone to take your place. You are not an asset and never will be.
He will keep you until you become either to needy, or a burden to him. Keep your cock sucker shut and things will go as he had planned

This is why it is very important when a Dominant says he wants to train you, you need to get clarification on what he means.

You have the right to explain your needs, and you need to be sure they are going to be met, before you enter the relationship, because once his lies start they are never ending.

Training is meant to be one on one with no interventions. You should be the Dominants main focus during this time.
Telling you that you are not allowed to cum is not training , and I will tell any Dom or Master face to face he is full of fucking shit.

You calling him Sir, Daddy, or Master, and in his mind he is calling you an idiot.

Does anyone know the Definition of the word CUNT?
Cant understand normal thinking.

Men fall under this category as well it is not only women, because I meet stupid everyday, and I meet a lot of CUNTS

If you stay focused you will go far, if you stick to your plan you will go far. If you stick to your goals in life you will go far. If you make sure your needs are met you will go far.

The only way you can be trained is through someone being consistent, consistency is the KEY.

focused

Yours Truly
Vile

What Makes A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, Behavior Modification, Bondage, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, Humiliation, Living Poly, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is an answer that will differ from one person to another. Every Submissive, Slave, or Baby Girl will have a different definition. Every Slave, Submissive or Baby Girl has different needs, their submissive is on different levels, but the characteristics should be somewhat the same when it comes to A definition.

Honesty should be first on the list. When you first meet a new Dominant the first words out of his mouth is. You should always be honest with me. Now if he holds you to such high standards , why would he not be held to the same ?

I know I rag on married men who cheat on their wives, but if a man is married and he tells you, I want you to be honest with me at all times. You need to stop and think about those words coming out of his mouth, because he is already lying to you about being honest. It is clear he cannot run or control his own home, so how can he control you?

I will speak about couples who move into the lifestyle here in a minute, because there is a clear difference.

You know when meeting a new Dominant you should be able to tell if he has your best interest in mind. Such as asking about your home life, your health, any medications your on. The music you like, your favorite foods, you get the picture.

It is very important the two of you get to know each other as friends.If you start the relationship off on a sexual note, then that is all you will have and it will be short lived.

Make sure you fully understand what is expected of you. I myself explain things in such detail when I am finished there are no questions. If you ask me a question I give a very in depth answer.

Before a Dominant can hand out any rules, he should know you inside out, He should know how you think and what makes you think the way you do. He must have a clear picture and understanding of your bad and good habits.

I have said before rules are meant to replace bad habits. Rules are meant to provide structure. Rules will give you a comfort zone, meaning you have a clear understanding of what is going on. Once you have rules in place, they are almost never altered. Once you have a grasp on everything a few maybe added or old ones taken away.

Training

Is training real? Absolutely it is real and there are many different levels of training depending on how far you are wanting to take your submission.
Training can be mild, or it can be extreme, and even taking as far as what some would call the Stockholm syndrome, and one of the best references would be to study up on the Patty Hurst case.

You the Submissive or Slave should know and understand exactly what it is you hope to gain out of your training. How do you see yourself living in a D’s Or M’s relationship.
Before the training begins, the Dominant should sit you down and explain what he hopes to gain from your training, and where he hopes to see you in 90 days or so.
The training process can only be effective if the Dominant is consistent on a daily basis. The training can only be effective if the rules, and protocols are enforced on a daily basis.

A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that may put your job in jeopardy. A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that could be against the law.

Isolation

Many of you really have no idea what the term Isolation means when it comes to a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Implementing such an act can be very harmful to you mentally, and physically. Shutting you out from the outside world, keeping you away from family and friends.
Lets face it we all need a break at one time or another. Being able to visit friends, family, having a girls night out. You want to be able to clear your head.
Isolation is something many fake Doms use as a tool. The more your isolated the less chance you have finding out any real information.
You Don’t need friends you have me. You don’t need to talk to anyone else , that is why you have me. I am your Dom, or master I have all the information you need.

You should never give your passwords or any other personal information to your Dominant. This is a true sign of the Dominant being insecure. We are all adults and we all need some privacy. Insecurity, and a huge ego will get you nowhere.
You as a submissive or Baby girl, you have the right to question, you also have the right to say no. If your not sure Google submissive or Baby girl.

If you do not live together you should have full access to your Dominants home, once you both have agreed to enter a relationship.
The reason being, he will tell you what is yours is now his. Well surprise, surprise it works both ways now..

You should have access to your Dominant 24/7 if you are not living together. If you send a text or email, you should expect a response in a timely manner, meaning within an hour or so.
I have seen on her where a Dominant has told his property he was to busy to text, or email for several days.

Pick up your cell phone and type 35 words and time yourself and see how long it takes. 15 seconds maybe? So your going to tell me the Dominant does not have time to respond, yea bullshit.

Remember you have giving your submission, and he the Dominant has taking on the responsibility. You do have rights.

If you do not live together, and you have agreed to enter a relationship, the Dominant should be able to provide you with a clear time line on when the two of you would be making some kind of move. If neither have no plans of moving in together that is fine.

The Poly Dominant

Poly is not for everyone, and living in a poly relationship is probably one of the hardest task in the lifestyle. Most poly families do not life together, for one reason or another. I know of a couple right now that are working but the drama is just out of hand.
If you do not live together, there is no way to maintain any type of structure. If you do not live together, there is no way to enforce any type of rules or protocols.

You the Submissive needs to ask upfront if the Dominant is poly or not. If you are not poly then you need to make it clear, and you need to stand by your words.
If you are open to the idea but with stipulations you need to make them clear.
You should also ask why he has a need to have more than one submissive or slave. When I has asked other Doms the answer has always been I need more flavor. Think about this for a minute, more flavor really? So your cocking sucking skills are not good enough, maybe he needs a tighter pussy? Or maybe you refuse to do anal and that is a need for him. If ass fucking is a need and your not into anal, guess what? Your the wrong submissive for him.

Dominants And Depression

That is a loaded gun, and the clip is never empty. There is a great chance you the submissive or slave has some form of depression, not everyone but the odds are pretty good you do.
If this is the case, how would you expect a Dominant who suffers from pretty much the same thing, take control of your life. If the Dominant is not able to control his own life, how can he control yours?
These are questions you need to find out before entering a relationship. You need to know what type of medications he is on and what they are for.
When entering a D’s or M’s relationship you can leave no stone un-turned.
Depression is a silent killer, watch the news this morning and you will see.

The Dominant.

No real Dominant has anger issues. The real Dominant is in full control. The real Dominant lives by the truth, and expects the same in return. A Dominant is in full control of his life and surroundings. The real Dominant has no Drama inssues, he has no Drama with the Ex.
Most Dominant are very active in the lifestyle it is a true need, I know this because it is for me, and the 25 or so I meet with every month.
You should be able to ask for references, of other Doms he knows and in some cases other Subs he knows or has owned before.

Reason being you are going to let a man tie you up, spank your ass, along with many other things, and you do not want someone who just read 50 shades thinks he is the almighty, he is now the Master of Masters. You can get hurt.

Couples moving into the Lifestyle

Now this is the other Dominant, he may still have some anger issues. Anger or controlling anger takes a while to master, it takes time to learn how to control. It took me some time, I do have a temper, and I have lost it, but Arianna has never seen that side of me and she never will.
You have to learn how to filter that anger and replace it with good.
One thing I started doing, my mentor told me this. If you are angry think about what your going to say before you say it.
This gives you time to rethink what your about to say, and it also gives you time to calm down a little.

If your wife is not Submissive, but you have found a Dominant side in you, if you sat your wife down and explain your needs in full detail, it is more than likely she will agree to experiment with your idea. You have to be able to sat her down, and explain in clear detail what has made you change, and why these things are now a need. In most cases it is in the woman’s blood to want to please.

If you are a submissive and your Husband is not Dominant, well it is sad to say your pretty much out of luck.
Chances are the male is not going to want to take on anymore responsibility than he already has, which in most cases is very little. Those who have very little responsibility, are in it for the mother figure thing , and that is what you are you do everything his mother did, except for sex.

You cook, you clean, you take care of the kids, you pay the bills, and he watches Monday Night Football.
Many married men see BDSM as abuse, and they feel bad about doing certain things.

You all know how I feel about stepping outside of the marriage, it is wrong.
When you got married you exchanged Vows and you made a promise.
If you are not happy leave, it is not fair to you, but more so it is not fair to the other.
How long are you going to live your life unhappy, so when you think about stepping out, think about your family. Why would you want to drag them or your children through your mess.

The Collar
The collar has great meaning. The collar is a sign of ownership. Once around your neck you will feel a bond like no other. This is when your relationship really begins to grow.

The Collar is giving after your first phase of training. The first phase as I call it, can last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. About the same length of time you would think about getting married to someone.
The collar means you are now owned, the collar means you and your Dominant have come to terms and you are now ready to settle in.

If your Dom went to Wal mart and purchased a 6.00 dog collar, you now know how much your worth. If he went to an adult book store and paid 9.99 for a collar, again you now know how much your worth.

The collar is meant to be worn 24/7, so if you are a professional then great care should be taking when he is selecting your collar.

Many 50 shades Dominant have these wal mart collars and will try to give you the collar on the first meeting. This is used as leverage, this gives him more control over you, because you have agreed to submit, and only knowing him in person for a couple of hours.

Last you want to be excepted for who you are, not who the Dominant wants you to be. You want to be loved and cared for, you want communication, you want honesty, you want someone who is going to always put you first no matter what. You want someone who understands you, as a partner and a submissive, you want security, but you want that firm hand as well.
You want a leader who is in control, and stands by his words.

You want a real Dominant.
Image

Vile

I Have Never Abused

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, communication, control, controlling, Discipline, Disrespect, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, Living Poly, Living Triad, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Polyamory, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock on July 7, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Abused in the physical , I have never hit a woman, nor have I called a woman names out of anger.

Even today as I was ousted from a group on Facebook, by a female, all because she did not like me sharing my point of view about something.

Now I have used in a sense to get what I wanted. When I was younger and I was not ready to commit, I used.

The one thing I can say is I never entered a relationship giving any false hopes. I made it clear from the start I was not there for the long haul.

As many of you know there are a few things I am totally against, Married men who step out of their marriage for sexual satisfaction.
Men who physically abuse women.
Men who verbally abuse woman.
Men who humiliate out of anger.
Men who abuse mentally.

If you are a man in a poly relationship, and your wife is there with you I am all for you man.
If you are a man who is a Triad and it is working , my hat goes off to you. You are the man.

A man with anger issues has no place within our world, a man who lies has no place in our world.

The problem many have is they step into our world and they do not have a clue. nor do they wish to hear anything because they are armed with a trash bag with a few toys and the Book Fifty Shades Of Grey. Now the new found Dominant is ready to embark on new travels.

Before entering a relationship, and your sitting at what I call a powwow, this is the time you both lay your cards out on the table. This is the time you both share your needs and what is expected out of the relationship.
When I lay my cards out, I refuse to bend on anything, by doing this it assures me I am getting everything I need out of the relationship.

This is the time to be honest. This is also the time to make sure you are both looking for the same thing in a relationship.

I am the Dominant you will obey me, I have the final say. Sure you do as long as you don’t get stupid. If you put your home in jeopardy then the submissive has the right to step up and say hey your getting stupid here and it needs to be fixed.

I know a Daddy Dom who is 60 or 61 who has a submissive some 40 years younger who is having to live with his daughter because he cannot hold a job. I am sure this was not part of the cards he put out on the table. I am more sure he painted a total different picture.
If you cannot take care of yourself, how in the fuck are you going to stand and say you own someone?

The good news is with the right chemistry , and the need, along with communication. Your relationship can rock.

Listen to this two years and not one argument not one that means not 1. I have not raised my voice. Okay I shake my head a lot, like wow did you just do that.

I am telling you a Dominant does not have anger issues, a Dominant is not looking for self pity. A Dominant is not looking for the pat on the back.

If you allow a man to degrade you,scream at you, call you names out of anger, and you still spread your legs. That means one of two things, One in some sick way you get off on it, which is perfectly fine. Or 2 you just don’t care.
If you allow a man to beat on you, and you still spread your legs for him, read the above.

It took me years to learn how to control my anger, my anger as in my partner, she spreads for me. I posted a few days ago I do have a temper just not when it comes to my property.
I refuse to let anyone walk over me, I refuse to let anyone disrespect me.

I treat people the way I expect to be treated, if you cannot do that you can suck my dick.

You can break a bitch into submission, but what do you have?
Last a Drunk Mans Words Is A Sober Mans Thoughts

You Do Not Have To Agree With Me Or My Reasoning

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, anger, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, http://leabarrymire.blogspot.com/2013/02/demystifying-male-15.html?zx=becc23191815c038, https://www.facebook.com/lea.barrymire., https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, slave, Submission, submissive, Triad on July 3, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I do appreciate everyone’s comments, and I still appreciate them even if you do not agree with me.

What I write here is my opinion and nothing more, while Arianna and I along with Lea Berrymire who is an awesome writer, once finished it will be just my opinion…
I have had writers tell me you do not need help, do it yourself, keep what you make to yourself.
Yea well Okay although I do have a diploma I never did that well in English as my grammar here shows, I am not a professional writer nor have I ever claimed to be I am me , I am no one else, what you read here is the real me.

You Don’t need anyone to help you write just be you, or else you will have to split the money.
I do not care about the money, while I do believe a book would support my radio show , that will start out one day a week, I would like to increase to three or four days week.

I enjoy helping others.That is why I do this blog. I am able to be me, this is my world, my life, this is my vent.
While out in public , for the most I am or have to be someone I am not . I live my daily life a lie.

You may not understand my way of thinking or my train of thought. One thing I can assure you is before I act I think everything through. Remember Choices and Consequences ? I never act on an impulse I am not wired that way.

While
http://dievca.wordpress.com/
and
http://foxglove38.wordpress.com/

Did not agree with me and they both expressed their feelings,and that is perfectly okay. I welcome all comments and thoughts. You cannot agree with me on everything, if you did we would live in a perfect world.

http://foxglove38.wordpress.com/
Did however come back and say she did now understand..

So I suppose what we have to offer is really no different, than those who are living in a poly with a married man is really no different, I can see that….
Or I suppose those seeking a poly or Triad home that is very stable, and well structured, would not be a benefit.
I can see where a poly or Triad where everyone works as a team would not be beneficial.
So all in all maybe I just worded things wrong, that is very possible.

The Triad was not even my idea, I did not even bring it up, the truth is I never even thought about it, because that was something that Arianna and I discussed prior to entering a relationship. She made it clear she wanted to be the only one.
So we change, she brought up the subject, and gave me her views on it. My answer was, I have to think about it.

So the comment that offended me was. The reason I wanted this Triad was because of Lust.
The truth is although bringing someone in would be a good idea with everything I have going on, it would be nice to have an extra pair of hands , and thoughts and ideas.

I do not think with my cock, my life does not revolve around my cock. As far as sex goes I get anything I want , when I want and how I want.

As I stated maybe I just worded everything wrong.

There is no particular type of female, it all has to do with personality, that is really all, short, tall, skinny, chunky, there is no real preference. So if it was Lust my train of thought would be much different.

Arianna is very possessive , the key word VERY, but she knows having sex would have to be part of the relationship. We would just have ground rules for the house when it came to sex.

One last thing I would like to mention, this would only be long term and nothing more. So we are looking ahead into the future..

Now to the awesome Lady who has been working with us on my book. I would like to thank her, and you should check out her pages.

http://www.leabarrymire.com/

https://twitter.com/LeaBarrymire

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5819512

https://www.facebook.com/lea.barrymire

leabarrymire.blogspot.com/

Much Love to all
I love loved that pic
Vile

Why Do You Cause Your Own Pain

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, consequences, control, Dominant, Dominants, Master And Slave, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, poly, Poly couple, Polyamory, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , on July 1, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Before you buy a new car you research it. A car is probably the second biggest investment you will ever purchase. Before you buy a new phone you research it, before you buy a new computer you research it. You spend hours upon hours making sure you make the right decision because you only want the best.

Why would you not think better of yourself ? If your going to be used why not get something back in return? Why fill yourself with problems and drama ? Why would you be with someone who does not know the truth ? Why be with someone who lies because they don’t know the difference.

You step into a world you know nothing about. You believe training a submissive starts out by sucking some dudes cock you know nothing about.

Maybe one of you who are submissive can explain that type of training. Maybe you can share what it is you get out of it, besides you just liking to suck cock.

If you really want a D’s relationship why would you not seek out information about the lifestyle ? Why would you not research how others live the lifestyle?

Those of you who are in the lifestyle , I have said it before and I will say it again. Women were put here to serve, be it Domestically or sexually. I truly believe that statement .

If you are going to have a submissive or slave, and you Dominants expect the same thing, then it is our responsibility to give back as much as we take.

If you own a brick house and you live in it, but one day you wake and you decide you need bricks and you start taking bricks one by one and your putting nothing back, yea at some point your house is going to fall in. You cannot take and take and expect something to last if your not giving back.

No Rights Slave

While Arianna and I live a No Rights M’s relationship we also live a No Limits relationship. Your thinking wow no limits. The term no limits has a thousand different meanings and it does vary from Master to Master. I have never met a D’s couple who says their relationship is no limits by the way.

Our own perversions vary as well, mine are not as extreme as others I have met, but hey if it is consensual and they are happy so be it.

I am not into sharing Arianna, and I have been asked a million times if I would allow someone else to fuck her. It does give me a high feeling knowing she is sucking my cock and someone else is jacking off to her.  After being asked, even to swap slave for slave for the weekend, as I turn around and walk off, I am thinking yea mother fucker eat your heart out.

I am not into forcing Arianna to fuck others, and I have met Doms and Masters alike who do share and they demand it. I suppose it is the power thing, the ego, then him getting to brag about it.

Even stuff like K9 I have seen more than once but I have never thought about bringing it into a relationship. To each their own if it rocks your world and your happy and it is consensual then have at it.

So we use the term No Limits and we can put that on any level. To me the No Limits only covers a few things and I made it clear from the start. Sex when I want, Oral sex when I want, Anal when I want. I like using different toys and at times veggies, shrugs, I love watching things slide in and out of a pussy or ass.  I truly get to do anything I want without question. Even when Arianna was sick like with the flu or something, it upset her because I would not use her. There is not a day that goes by she does not ask if she can suck my cock.

No limits can mean anything, come on really we all have limits.The thing is if you truly care about your property knowing your submissive or slave will do what ever it takes to make you happy, why would you want to damage on a physical level or a deep mental level. Many will do what they are told because the believe it is expected .

We as Dominant and Masters do not or should not want to bring harm to our property. When we first met our partners, our submissive’s  or Slaves we made a promise. We said we would take care of them on all levels. We said we would be there no matter what, we also said we would put them before our own needs. Yea you dudes said that.

Some of the blogs here on WordPress are so depressing, seeing what these girls and women are going through, or what they have been through. They continue to walk the same path, making the same mistakes, hoping things will get better.

So we have a game plan we put together, kinda like football , but I am offense and defense I play both sides, and I play it well. I keep my word, and I live by the truth.

I do not mean to brag but I am a very simple man , I live a very simple life. I allow nothing that is going on with the outside world to bother us. I allow no trash into my home. I can talk because my backyard is clean, and has been for many years, so I have the right to talk.

Sex, the act when our animal comes out. We can be who and what ever we want to be. In order to be happy all of our needs , need to be met. So this has to be discussed prior to entering a new relationship, it is very important  to be who you are, and lay your needs out on the table.

You as the submissive or Baby Girl has the right to speak up if you do not believe things are going as they should be. If you were promised something and it did not happen you have the right to speak your mind. You have the right to express your concerns. Many times you know things are a lie but for what ever reason you just go with the flow.

Life itself is made up of two very simple things, 1st choices , 2nd consequences. Every choice you make there is a consequence, for every consequence there has to be a choice. Making the right right choice you can control the consequences, but making the wrong choice you really have no control over the consequences.

You also have to determine what is healthy for you and what is unhealthy for you, in your everyday life, again choices and consequences. Do you want to continue to live in a unhealthy relationship, or do you want to move into something more stable ? Choices and consequences. If you choose the first then you have no right to complain, if you choose the latter then you move on and put the past behind you.

Before I make any type of decision , I am not talking about buying eggs , but something that will effect the home, I think things out very clearly. Because the decision I make is not only going to effect me, it will effect Arianna as well, choices and consequences. If I make the wrong choice, I face the consequences for two and not just one.

While it is true we do not have control over everything in life, because it does throw curve balls from time to time, but when life does throw a curve ball and we are prepared and we make the rights choices, we may be able to control most of the bad and in some cases turn it around to our advantage.

Finding the right Dominant is a choice you have just as finding the right submissive or slave. if your willing to settle for less then you made the choice so you have to deal with the consequences, and you either fix it or you just deal with it, but if you choose to stay willingly you have no right to complain. That is just like if you do not vote, you have no right to complain about how someone sucks ass.

You do not have to cause your own pain, because you are in control, you are in full control of your choices, and for the most you can be in control of your consequences, things get fucked up when you try to buck the system, and you have full control over most any situation.

I use to feel bad for the homeless, but the truth is most choose to live that way. I remember one day I was pulling into a Krystals and I saw a man standing on the corner with a sign saying I need help my family is hungry. So I went inside ordered my food and I bought a dozen burgers I walked out and gave him the bag and said there you go man, its not much. He opened the bag and the first words out of his mouth was what no cheese? I just looked at him in disbelief, reached over and took the bag from him.

I was in a 7/11 one day I was buying a pack of smokes and I heard the male clerk talking about how his ex had moved and he had no way of seeing his daughter. I was driving a 1991 Isuzu Rodeo a complete rust bucket, and the clutch was slipping, a few weeks back I had bought a new clutch but had not had a chance to put it in. Anyway the story touched me. I walked outside, reached in the glove box took the title out , walked back in bought my smokes and I put the title and the keys on the counter. I said man its not much but it runs. I thought he was going to fall apart. Unlike the burgers I made the right choice, the consequences were I now had to walk home.

We control most everything in our life, we are able to control the outcome 99% of the time. It is when you try and sand against the grain when things go wrong. You may not like it or think its right, but you have to remember your bubble.

Arianna and I looking for a third to add to our family. You know I could just bring someone in and tell Arianna here deal with it, but that would be a bad choice, and I would not want to know what the consequences would be. So we have to work together, and find the perfect fit. The gloves must fit both hands. It may never happen. Right now I am in full control, I have the final say, and this is not really for me, and it does not have anything to do with two women being Bi, Ive been there done that. It has to do with making something more complete than it is already, notice I said more complete, it is not something that has to happen, because our home is already complete.

Choices and consequences
choice
Vile

We Are Still Considering A Poly Triad

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, poly, Poly couple, slave, Submission, submissive, Triad with tags , , , , , on June 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

While we are still considering we are not what you would call actively looking. We have slowed down somewhat, while we have met a few who were really nice, they just did not fit into our bubble.

At times I think it would be ideal then there are times I am thinking nah is it really a need? Remember this is not about me, I am not looking for different flavor. I really get anything I want when I want and how I want it.

If you have ever wondered what a no limit slave is, well you need to speak with Arianna. Now when I say no limits you have to take into consideration of the respect I have for Arianna. Just because she is a Slave does not mean I am just going to use her as a doormat. The truth is there is not really anything I could think of that she would not do if told to do so. So the flavor is not a need.

Pussy is pussy, sucking cock is sucking cock. You can train your submissive or Slave how to suck cock, or how you like to fuck, so I have never understood the cheating part.

Training your submissive should be more about helping them improve in areas that needs improvement. The sex is the bonus, because if you are who you say you are and you do what you say your going to do, then the rewards are never ending

If at some point if we did find someone we would consider it could not be a slave, it would have to be a submissive, and the submissive would have complete different rules than Arianna. There is no way I could even attempt to have another slave in the home.

At the MasT meeting I was speaking with another Master who now has 5 slaves but only one lives with him. His Alpha was explaining that each one brought something else to the table and how each was different. I suppose that works out okay but it depends on what you need out of the relationships.

So one would have to be able to make friends with Arianna, the two would have to click. The idea is to become best friends. When you hear most Dominants talk if they want to bring in another you have to be Bi sexual. I do not see the need in one or the other being Bi.

You do have to insure the two are compatible , and the Dominant needs to give the two space so they can grow once a friendship is established then the Dominant can step in.

I see a family, a family of love and caring, a family full of support, being there for each other. Going out to eat together, the movies, vacation. Then the two women shopping together, thrift store, art classes.

It can be done.

So who knows what the future may hold

Image

Vile

The House Of Vile

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Adapt, Alpha Slave, Arianna, bdsm, Beta Slave, Bondage, Camel Toe, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, http://housemakai.wordpress.com/, http://leabarrymire.blogspot.com/2013/02/demystifying-male-15.html?zx=becc23191815c038, Living Poly, Living Triad, Master & Slave, owning a slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, Protocol, Protocol public, Punishment, Rules, sex, slave, submissive on April 28, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The title does have a nice ring to it , Arianna and I had a very deep conversation this am while she was driving to work. We do talk every morning , at times it is more general, then at times the conversation turns very deep.

I am for the most a jokester , hmm is that a word ? I am a prankster , now that is a word. For the most people do not know if they should take me serious or not, or I will say something make a comment and the room gets quite, and someone will say I am waiting on the punch line.

It is no secret or at least I don’t think it is I sell cars for a living , it is okay it was a huge career change for me , and Saturday I was selling a prius V to a lady and when I took her credit application in the general Manager looked at me and said what do you know about this woman ? My reply was man she has a huge camel toe, and I just got this blank stare and everyone is looking at me, and I am like what it is huge. People laugh when my phone rings and my ring tone is Tone Loc, Funky Cold Medina. It was Stranglehold By Ted Nugent for the longest. I am not very good with my Samsung Galaxy S4 so every now and then Arianna will showing me something new, like the Mp3 down loader then this bad ass ringtone maker. So I am not all serious 24/7, Ariannas Mother still has not figured me out, and I have made some comments that has just blown her mind.

Ariannas Mother does know about our lifestyle, and although she may not agree with everything, she has seen a vast improvement in the way she acts and her health, Her mother also knows she is loved and cared for. Just like last Sunday I was off and Arianna had to work. I love cooking and I like to cook when I am off I guess I am helping out in a way. So I went to the store and I bought dinner. When Arianna arrived home dinner was prepared.  I served her Lobster tail, Baked Salmon, and shrimp and Lobster meat, and pasta. My way of saying thank you.

Twenty plus years I have had three long term relationships., I have talked about the last two in depth, in my past blogs. The in between was some pretty rough road, not for me but those who were submissive, because in my eyes they were just objects, something for that time. Okay so I used and I was wrong because many times you can give false promises without even saying a word. At times I was very cold because when I was done, I was done it was time for you to get the fuck out. The ones that I just used I had never brought up the topic about a collar, because that was not my intention.

The last before Arianna was Lynn. Lynn was the perfect situation for the time. She would come over on Friday and stay til Sunday then go home. We would text through out the week , then when she was over it was just bondage and sex. I knew it would never turn into anything, so it was fun for about a year. I never took her to any local events because I was not into her like that. There was only one Dom I introduced her to, again because I was not into her that way.  When it was over it was over, no contact at all between us so the parting was mutual. That was the slave whos husband came over crying because I was banging his wife. That is what I keep saying you will get caught, it is not a matter of how, but when. No matter how sneaky you are or how good you think you are you will get caught, and in today’s times you get get hurt or even killed.

So the House Of Vile. I run a very strict well structured home. We are problem free and drama free. I have rules and protocols that are followed daily. If they are not, then the choices and consequences come into play. In almost two years Arianna has been punished one time, and it is something she will not forget, since then it has been smooth sailing.

There is no arguing, there is no yelling, I rum my house. I have a place within the home and Arianna has a place. I am Dominant she is Slave, and yes she does call me Master but that was never anything I brought up or told her she had to do. As a matter of fact when she first met me she asked, what do I call you? I told her for now just call me Vile, then what will be will be. I think it was a couple of weeks and she started calling me Sir, again that was not something I told her she had to do. I had to earn her respect, and being called Sir is something that has to be earned.  Although we have never argued , nor has Arianna ever spoken out of place, I do get the eye roll every now and then, sometimes I say something then at times I just let it go.

So we are now talking about adding a 3rd, bringing someone into our home. I blogged about this the other day, our little bubble. To bring another into your home is a huge decision, and it is something that needs to be discussed in great depth. Both parties have to come to an agreement. We are speaking to a slave now, who will soon come out to visit. The first time we spoke on the phone I made it very clear. It is not me nor is it about me. You will have to win Arianna over, you will have to become her friend, you will have to become best friends. I am the easy one I am the one who can adapt. Although having another Slave would be nice, and I am not speaking about sex, because that is something we have not really talked about. It would be nice to bring another in to help run the house. To insure things run smoothly. To help Arianna , help with task, shopping and so on. Go out together have fun, Art classes and art shows. So bringing a 3rd into our home is not just about pussy or getting my cock sucked by two women at the same time.

There has to be an Alpha Slave, there has to be, although both are treated equal there is a chain of command. The Alpha is just as respected as the Dominant, although the Alpha does not run the home , she is in charge while the dominant is not home. The Beta is giving task and will follow through with them without question.

I believe you have to have an open forum once a week. This is the time that the three sit down and speak freely about anything and everything. How things are going. Did any problems arise that needs to be addressed? Are things running smoothly ? Did the two have any differences that needs to be addressed. This is not and will not turn into a bitch session.

The Alpha is an Alpha for a reason, number one she was present first. The Alpha was the Dominants choice , The two has been in a growing relationship for sometime. So when you start to talk about bringing a 3rd in, the Alpha has to know things will not change, no matter what happens, because if she feels threatened in any way, then the possibility of a 3rd will never work. So the weekly talk should be very open so both can speak their feelings. Maybe something could be done a different way, maybe the two do not agree with something.

The first rule of the house is the Alpha is always right, if your confused about anything then you ask. The Dominant and Alpha sit down and work on the daily task. I then pass down what the Beta needs to do, and the Alpha insures everything is done.

If you have experience and you have been in the lifestyle for a while, maybe a long time. You can take everything you have learned and throw it out the window , because you will have to adapt to my way, and I can assure you my way is much different.

The way you will act, the rules, the protocols, even the way you dress. When you are out in public you are a direct reflection of me. Just like the bracelet Arianna wears WWVD . So while being a 3rd will not be an easy task in the beginning, the payoff would be great because Arianna and I have a lot to offer the right one.

One thing Arianna brought up was sex , and she made the statement , that no sex would take place without the three being present. I said done. That is the way it will be, it is not because I gave in to her want or need, I did it out of respect. On the other hand, Arianna and I will have sex while alone, but I would never have sex with the 3rd without Arianna being present. Arianna is no Bi but should would play.

The reason is I have deep respect for Arianna, although Arianna is my Slave, although is she owned, she is first and for most my wife. Nothing will ever change that.

Protocols are something that has been long forgotten , but with out protocols you cannot have any type of structure, you can not function as a D’s ran home or for that matter an M’s run home, without structure you have nothing. Without house rules you have nothing.

It is clear it is the 3rd who will have to adapt to our way of living, she will have to adapt to our protocols, our rules, and be willing to take direction from Arianna.

You have to show an interest, you have to ask questions, surely you want to know what your about to get yourself into.  The idea is the three take care of each other, and with everything stated above, you can have a nice peaceful, home, you have have the security you need, you can have the structure you need, and most of all you will be cared for.

WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF VILE , Sit down and fasten your seat belt your in for one hell of a ride.

I had the privilege of speaking with a Dominant last week, who also happens to be an Author and I will pick up the book he recommended to me , but he also has his own radio show, it is a weekly broadcast and that is the main reason I contacted him, I was seeking advice, because I am still thinking about doing the same thing as well as a book. The awesome Lea Berrymire is assisting me with the book. We spoke for about 10 maybe 15 minutes, and what an awesome conversation we had, well I think so anyway, but I want everyone to check out his blog. I just found out he is poly but the way he runs his home is much how I see things.

I do prefer the word Triad over poly just my preference and there is a huge difference, in my eyes anyway. Here is his link.

http://housemakai.wordpress.com/

Vile