Archive for the positive reinforcement Category

Mastering The Master

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, emotional, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Mental BDSM, positive reinforcement, relationships, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Training Arianna, training your slave, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 29, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

As much as I would like to think I am not perfect, although many would disagree with that statement. Most who know me think I am loud , very out spoken and at times obnoxious.

On the way to a local coffee group which all the people whoa attend are awesome , a good get together at a local star bucks then at times dinner after. I work from home as most know and come my Friday I need to get out I need that interaction with like minded people.

On our way the group leader was warning new comers of my arrival. I am warning you ahead of time Vile is unfiltered. Unfiltered I never looked at it that way , I simply say what is on my mind be it serious or joking…

Some months ago I received and email from a woman who said my blog was the most disgusting place she had ever visited and i should be shut down. So sitting back I am thinking if you find it that bad, why did you spend time reading it and then making time out of your busy life to email me?

Out in the world I like to have fun , I like to joke around , I enjoy making others laugh, but mostly I love learning how others live our wild lifestyle. I listen , I observe and I take in just like a hard drive on a computer.

I have come a long way in the past twenty five years or so and I am making plans for the next twenty five. I have grown on so many levels , I have set goals , I have made most of my goals and I continue to march forward.

My MAsT Chapter has been approved, Masters And Slaves Together. It was not an easy task and it was about a 13 month process.

Over the years I made mistakes, some were a mistake and at times things I did was because I could, I am me , I will stay me and I will walk my own path , but most of all I will not live a life where I have to be politically correct , my life is on my time and my time only.

I am positive , very optimistic , even if I have negative thoughts I keep them to myself. Everything I do has a plan and I seldom make a mistake but if I do I admit it, after all I can be wrong.

I am in control, I am control of my everyday life, my home and in most cases my job. I run my house , I am in full control, but with all of these choices comes consequences.

Mastering the Master is a long path and it is not an easy road to walk. You have to define who and what you are, you have to define where you are and where you want to be, you have to define the type of relationship you want, but most of all you have to define the type of partner you need in your life, not want but need, a want is nothing a want has no meaning and at times a want can be destructive and childish. I concentrate on my needs if my needs are met there are no wants.

When I first met Arianna I made a promise and a commitment , I told her I will never raise my voice towards her or call her names out of anger and some 3 years later this still holds true. Being in control was a strong need to me , being able to not only listen but being able to communicate in a clear and understanding voice. Saying what I mean and mean what I say , not only saying what I will do but do the things I said I would.

Some say it is healthy to argue and while I may agree a little it depends on how you agree to argue. Bruises heal words cut deeper bruises hurt but words effect someone on a very deep mental state and while one can forgive one will never forget The more you hurt with your words the more you are in danger of losing what you have.

If you are fighting with yours Slave or submissive if you had any type of training then you as a Master needs to sit back and maybe come up with a different approach.

MASTER / SLAVE

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

No where in the above definition does it mention a Master Arguing with their Slave. No where in the statement above does it mention a Master Losing control.

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship.

If you the Master argues with your Slave not submissive but your Slave who is the bitch in the relationship ?

When entering a M/s relationship , a power exchange relationship or a Total power exchange you the Master are taking on a huge responsibility. You need to have a clear plan and a training program in place and a training program that puts you in the lead but more important one who will follow and have the need to follow.

Training someone takes a great deal of thought , every submissive or Slave has a different thought process, different habits and react in different ways . Some are emotional , some may suffer from some type of depression , some may suffer from anxiety the list goes on and on, so what worked in your last relationship surely will not work in your next , that includes training and rules..

I think a lot of the misunderstanding comes from someone who is new to the lifestyle and just jumps in head first and not really having a clue… Waking up one morning and your a Master because of a blog or a porn site you ran across. We as humans are visual and you google BDSM and click images and there is your definition.

Mastering the Master , Mastering communication , Mastering honesty , Mastering commitment, Mastering your devotion , Mastering your understanding of ones needs , Mastering your loyalty , Mastering your consistency , your training but most of all your continued growth.

Each and everyday I work on most of those , not only daily but hourly . I work to maintain what I and we have. I want us as Master and Slave to continue to grow.

The out come is you end up with a best friend , partner , and Slave.

 

Vile

 

The Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Slave Is High Maintenance, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Dominant, emotional, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental BDSM, Micromanagement, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Punishment, Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, TPE, Training Arianna, Vile Woods on FaceBook, viledesires62@aol.com on February 22, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I never pressured Arianna to call me Sir or Master , I waited because such an honor is clearly earned.

I loved the steps I took in building a relationship, I loved watching the relationship grow, but I also knew in order for it to be successful I had to be who and what I was.

I wanted Arianna to ask , and I waited for that question. Will you be my Master, I knew then I was on the right path.

Although we spoke of training and what our goals were , yes hers and mine , I did not go into any great detail and only answering questions when they were asked.

By earning ones respect you get so much more than trying to demand submission. You can demand submission but your not getting the whole picture nor are you entering a true relationship with any meaning.

A slave is not weak a slave is strong in mind body and soul, however a Slave does have different needs and goals, along with a different type of structure.

I had a strict 90 day plan in hand and I began training without a word. The one thing that made me stop and think was there was absolutely no resistance this was something I had never experienced. Today our relationship requires only daily maintenance , as with any other relationships just on a different level.

There are many definitions today when we try to define a D’s or M’s relationship we are all different and we have different needs.

Although Arianna may be my wife, best friend and partner she is property first, she wears a collar 24/7 that shows my ownership, I can proudly say it has been over 3 years she she has been collard and it has not been off one time. She wears her collar proudly and yes this includes work. Before entering a relationship that was a strict requirement of mine.

Many today do not take the collar serious , it is worn during play , when out to local functions, or when company comes over that is the only time it has any real meaning. If that is your lifestyle that is fine it fits you…

Although we train and we train to fit our needs  , we also have to take the slave into consideration. We need to set goals, we need to insure our property fully understands what is about to happen. We need to insure their needs are met on all levels, many would like to think it is a one way street but that is so far from the truth.

I myself take the collar very serious , it is a sign of ownership, it is a sign of devotion, it is a sign of submission, again do not take this wrong this is only my opinion.

Master/slave

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Respecting ones limits be it physically or mentally , knowing the limitations , knowing just how far you can go and still remain in control. Fixing problems before they become problems.

The feeling of security , the feeling of being wanted , the feeling of being needed, but most of all the feeling of being able to trust and respect.

In the beginning when the relationship is defined , what is expected , the rules and protocols, once everything is in place we as Masters cannot change things up a year later, many times going back on your word can be a deal breaker. There are times when something may need to be changed but I feel it needs to be explained in detail how it would benefit the home.

Training is changing the thought process , training is changing habit and replacing them. If you sit and think if done right you can create the perfect partner, that is the easy part , the hard part comes with maintaining it.

The training would include verbal , physical , mental, emotional , and at times rituals this is where structure comes into place. In my Master , slave or Owner , Property structure plays a huge part as with rituals , rituals become rules, protocols become rules.

Although I do feel punishment is needed that is not my main focus, I do not sit around and wait on Arianna to break a rule, she knows when she breaks a rule, which I can say has only happened once in 3.5 years. Positive reinforcement and communication plays a huge roll in any relationship.

Breaking someone to the point of feeling worthless , constant humiliation , abuse mental and physical , remember if you break it you have to fix it. I am more than sure the end result is not something you would want in a lifetime partner.

Training comes in a few different areas , be it service , sexual,  how to speak in public what to wear , how to talk , how to communicate with people or who not to communicate, who to hug or who you shake hands with ,how much do you want to control? We live a Owner Property relationship , a consensual relationship , consensual being the key word. Make no mistake I run and control everything in my home.

Just make sure who ever you are considering make sure they have your best interest in mind..

 

 

 

The 128 Rules

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM Trust, commitment, communication, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, positive reinforcement, Slave, Submission, submissive, The 128 Rules, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

At one time I blasted the 128 rules , maybe because the author of the 128 and I were on a different page or so I thought.

I run a very strict home , I have strict protocols in place as well as rules that are followed to a T.

When I first read the 128 rules , I or my way of thinking the rules were just sexually based , and no structure , well this will be the first time you will hear me say I was wrong.

Okay there I was wrong.

While sitting in the living room I asked Leticia what she was doing , and she stated she was reading the 128 rules.

I kinda looked up and said really ? So tell me what you think about the 128 rules?

Arianna started explaining what the rules really meant was a lot of structure , and protocols, and if a Dominant or Master was able to stay consistent there would be a lot of good growth..

After listening to her side of the story and once I gave it some thought I agreed back tracking from my previous thoughts..

So I reached out to Johnathan Kay , the original Author and asked for permission to use his information in full and he agreed , of course giving credit which he deserves…

128 Rules for the female slave

by Johnathan Kay
(Warning: This is not sex positive. It’s proudly privileged.)

You can learn why I’m not sex positive here.
You can learn why I “Called Red on the Center for Sex Positive Culture” in Seattle here.
You can read my final review of the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle, WA here where I mention I was a member for 15 years. 

Please note the following:
“128 Rules for the female slave” and former “128 Basic slave Rules” are under copyright 1992 by Johnathan Kay. Email me at 128rules@gmail.com for permission to use any of it for any reason. This site is the official blog for the rules:  http://www.128rulesguy.blogspot.com. (use this credit after receiving my permission for use in your application)

Use at your own risk. I take no responsibility for what happens to you when you use the rules. Email me if you have any questions. Remember: First aid works for kinky injuries. So does common sense. Don’t be an idiot. Take precautions. You can do this.

Rules change when I feel like changing them. I’m the Master here…remember that. This blog is the official version….no numbers, no letters….just this blog. You’re reading the current version unless I’m updating it while you’re reading them.

I am “Master-JK” on Fetlife. 
Context

“128 Rules for the female slave” are written for het M/s (Male Master/female slave) relationships.  While it can be converted for other orientations – the focus here will be strictly for Male Dominants/Masters and female submissives/slaves. Those who convert it to fit other orientations must give credit to the blog here as stated above. 


Author’s History


Way back in my college years in the 70’s I had found some adult magazines that depicted either women being restrained in various positions or women as Mistresses (or Dominatrixes as they were also called) who topped people. I like them both. It struck a cord with me and seemed very natural. And through a bit of experimenting over the years with girlfriends whom I would dominate and switching into submission to serve professional Mistresses – I learned a whole lot and I wanted to know more. I read what I could find. I examined toys and how they were used. I wrote various journal entries, stories and scenarios of play and training.


And much later in the mid-80’s I had moved into Seattle and decided to go public, to crawl out of my very private life and go to a conference on bdsm. And wow did I learn so much more. There were people who did all this for real, taught classes, did demos, sold toys. And they were from all walks of life and all different sexual orientations which took some getting used to over the years. It was more than just Masters and slaves. There was all this terminology I had to learn. I found a group called C-Space that offered education that I tried to get to almost every week for more almost four years. And there were more conferences I attended to take classes, play and observe others playing and to buy toys that were being put on a little known group back then called the National Leather Association.


I placed personals in various papers and found submissive women on dating chat lines. I found a kind of freedom where I could be very explicit and more open about what I wanted and how I wanted it done. I attended local events and found a kind of family atmosphere to it all. I found others who needed this lifestyle.


I had started to train gals I met and later one of them asked if I would write all this stuff down that I was teaching her. And the rules document was born – first with 77 rules and later 128. 


While offering the rules to others in newsgroups a gal wrote me and asked if she could print it on her website “Enchantress’s Secret Garden” – found here in the wayback machine internet archive – this one dated in the 90’s (no longer active online),which I allowed back then, and where it spread like wildfire. 


Years later, I was contacted by an editor, Jurgen Boedt, of a magazine in Europe who wanted to print it in his black and white publication called “Secret Magazine” at which point I rewrote the document to include an intro and other parts because I felt readers who would get it in more than six countries would need a little more then just the rules. They would need some background,  some caution and some instructions of how to use the rules list. Secret Magazine spread the rules document over two issues – Issue 14 and 15


Through all this I started to join more groups in Seattle, Portland-OR, and Spokane-WA where I was a board member, Tri-Cities-WA and was playing up in Vancouver-BC. And after Beyond the Edge Cafe in Seattle closed after years of being an eating establishment with play spaces in the basement a new group opened and I became a member of SPCC where later I became a life member, still with only a two digit membership number, out of what has grown to nearly 14,000 members in 2011, in what became known as CSPC: Center for the Sex-Positive Culture – a community center model for socializing, play, classes and vendor fairs and where I have played nearly every week for years mainly at the Grind and Pan-Sexual play nights. Soon I had a bit of a dance card schedule going with people scheduled for one of those two nights. And here I am still going at it and loving it. I became polyamorous over the years to expand my skills and give what I learned to more people. I played in the M/s mode, D/s mode and as a Top playing with a bottom. I bought better toys and developed a group of skills of many variations. I acquired a following and a wonderful primary female slave partner whom I live with and enjoy life with in so many ways. Yes, you can find a partner to play with who needs what you can give and what you can offer. 


All in all, from my secretly kept life to going public, I have never turned to look back. This is where I belong. This is what I need. This is what I want. This is where I feel the most alive. This is where I feel like I have come home.
Purpose of the Rules
  • For anyoone who wants to find out more about what might be included in a heterosexual Master/slave relationship. 
  • To know, as I found out, how fulfilling this lifestyle can be. 
  • To feel this ‘at home’ feeling. 
  • To feel an intimate sexual ingredient in every part of your life. 
  • To know there is a source from which all this comes and allows for living like this to be so special, wanted, and most of all needed and necessary. 
  • To feel alive. 
  • To know that everything about your life and your past finally makes sense. 
  • To feel sensual, sexual, enlightened, and empowered, cared for and desired in a manner you have not found in a vanilla lifestyle. 
  • To know how it is to be made free through it all. 
  • To seek guidance and realize favor and acceptance with reason. 
  • To know what gets you wet and hot and bothered. 
  • To find, finally, who you are and where you fit. 

 

Notes for the female slave to Keep in Mind

1. Go slow, have lots of discussions, know that a M/s relationship goes fast, be honest, open, communicate all issues, learn, be ok with mistakes made, listen, and be protective of your well being, psychological, physical, sexual, social and emotional health. 
2. Use your safe words if you have them. 
3. Ask lots of questions. 
4. Read whatever you can find on the M/s lifestyle, toys used, safety, sexual safety, positions, other people’s rules, first aid, techniques, etiquett, practices, culture, traditions, aftercare – this is very important to bring you back from intense play, spiritualism, etc. 
5. Expect to be tested on what you are taught. 
6. Understand punishment as something you would rather not get often. Know that discipline helps to remind you of how to behave. 
7. Each rule has many meanings. Find what speaks to you most to understand and apply the rule. Work with each rule often coming back to re-evaluate them. 
8. Trust is everything. Know your Master. Understand how problems can be resolved. Know to walk away if necessary till you find the right Master for you. 
9. Consider a trial period. 
10. Have a kind of third person thing going on with you and allow it to watch over you and help you get through what you are put to use for and to evaluate how use of you fits. Be able to talk about issues and work to resolve them. 
11. Ask for release from a Master rather than storming out. 
12. Get tested for sexual safety. Be honest with your  Master. Insist your Master gets tested. 
13. Don’t be afraid to use condoms, dental dams, latex or nitrile gloves to be sexually safe. 
14. Tell you doctor exactly how you got the marks on your body so that you get the right kind of medical help. 
15. Adjust and fit the rules for your relationship and needs. Eliminate those you don’t want to use. 
16. Avoid drugs and alcohol when in a M/s relationship. You don’t need any more problems. This lifestyle can be dangerous and you will want to act safely and be safely led and used.
17. Keep a journal – one for you, one for your Master. 
18. Expect assignment. Do your best. 
19. Your primary focus is to serve, obey and hope to be found pleasing in all you provide and do.
20. Be of good health to be flexible as much as you can be for use. 



How to Use the Rules


1. Kneel in an attentive position in a safe place nude as if on assignment along with some paper and a pen.  
2. Read through all the rules in a whisper and feel in your heart how they sound to you. It may take you from hours to days to read through all the rules.  
3. Using the following to rate the rules by number or your chosen color code:

  • Will do.
  • Want to do, but will need a little push.
  • Won’t do ever. In fact, if so required, will ask for release. 
  • Find questionable and may be in need of a rewrite or elimination.
  • Must do without question – an absolute need.

4. When finished with the rating – leave the rules alone for a bit and come back and do it again. Some decisions might change after the first time. 
5. You do not have to memorize all the rules you want to use. 
6. The rules are for building a mindset. 
7. Take the time to read your final selections often to help keep you in your place. 
8. Discuss your selections with your Master or with those you wish to consider to be taken by as you Master. Follow what is finally chosen and approved by your Master.


The 128 Rules

1. i will serve, obey and please my Master.

2. Above all else my primary focus shall be to please my Master, hoping that He finds me pleasing in all that I do, whether i am in His presence or not. my Master knows of my potential, learning more about me in each day i am with Him. He trusts that i will act in accordance with what He percieves of my potential – He knows what is best for me and how important it is that i set a good example for other females who may be present around me.

3. i worship my Master’s abilities and focus to keep me in my ‘place’ to serve His needs.

4. i worship every inch of my Master’s body.

5. The power of my Master fills me with awe. The sheer thought of Him or to hear His voice gives me strength and confidence to serve Him to the best of my abilities regardless of the circumstances going on in my life and His.

6. To receive pleasure i must not only earn it, but accept Master’s permission when it is granted to me. Pleasure is a gift and i must not ever abuse it in any way for it can be taken from me at any time.

7. i worship my Master’s whip whether it is used for His pleasure upon my flesh or to punish me for my behavior.

8. i trust my Master: His responsibilities, His skills, His hunger and needs, and His concern for my safety, my emotional, psychological, social, sexual, and physical health.

9. i am nothing more than an object of Master’s choosing to use for His needs. 

10. i will not act to satisfy my needs without Master’s permission.

11. my body and my mind are the property of my Master.

12. i must always give thanks to my Master for whatever He gives to me and do so in the manner i was taught by Him.

13. i must be specific and very explicit in my speech.

14. i will not hesitate to respond to my Master. 

15. i will thank my Master for the discipline and punishments i receive, specifying what i received and the reason as to why i was given them.

16. i have no will of my own accept to behave in the manner which Master has taught me, according to the rules He expects me to follow, seeking to be found pleasing by him in all i do, to listen when He teaches me, or to report to Him of my progress in serving Him and when given His guidance to do better.

17. i am always in submission to my Master whether He is present or not, ready to please Him at anytime, in any place, under any circumstances, regardless of who may be present. For the opportunity to submit and to please is by far more important and satisfying than any other pursuit. i trust my Master will keep me safe, protecting His reputation and mine in the presence of others, as He examines my ability to present myself to Him and to others in a subtle manner when required to protect our lifestyle from those who may not understand, nor support, as long as our behavior is not in anyway misrepresented nor misinterpreted by those who may be afar. i am to set, once again, a good example, ready to explain my position to others when required to do so. my lifestyle is a part of a growing culture for which i must never forget that i am an integral part.

18. All my choices shall be based upon whether or not they will please my Master.

19. When i am not in the presence of my Master and i have choices to make – i will perform them to the best of my abilities and within the boundaries and guidance He has allowed me.

20. i shall wear the collar my Master gives me with pride for it signifies His ownership of me and
my devotion to Him.

21. i shall wear the chains my Master gives me as a symbol of my position in life – that of bondage to Him. i shall wear them, as required, around my neck, my wrists, my ankles or around my waist.

22. When i am ready – i shall wear His rings to signify my submission to Him – one pierced through each nipple of my breasts and one through each labia of my pussy.

23. my mouth shall only be referred to as a cunt for it will often be used as if it were a pussy.

24. my sex shall only be referred to as a pussy.

25. When the cock of my Master is put into my cunt and i am directed to suck it – i will do so vigorously as long as i am required to do so. my hands shall be placed on the tops of my thighs, behind my neck or held at the base of my back so that during the sucking i can use my whole body to display my hunger to my Master.

26. my Master’s cum must never go to waste – i will swallow all of it when Master cums into my cunt (and be punished should I spill any of it from my lips), licking it up if Master cums into my hands or into a plate i hold in front of Him to receive it, or onto the food He gives me which He may require of me to hold just under His cock as He ejaculates over it. i will clean His cock thoroughly squeezing out every last drop. In rare and privileged cases i may wear my Master’s cum on my body, sometimes after massaging it into my skin. Cum is a gift from my Master and it is an honor to receive it. The eating of my Master’s cum will be counted as one of my meals for that day.

27. i worship my Master’s cock, its head and its shaft, especially when it is hard or when i am given the opportunity to make it hard for Him.

28. i will worship my Master’s ass only after a thorough washing of it. i shall do so hungrily, being sure to lick between the cheeks for as long as Master requires me to do so. i will use my hands to spread my Master’s cheeks apart.

29. i will never look into the eyes of my Master without his permission. To do so would be inappropriate of my position, and doing so could be interpreted by Him that i am seeking His attention or expecting Him to act – when such things are up to Him and to Him alone.

30. my head must be bowed down in the presence of my Master unless i am given permission to do so otherwise. i honor the position of my Master and it is important that i am not distracted in my submission to Him.

31. my eyes must be cast down in the presence of my Master unless i am given permission to do so otherwise. i am to focus on my behavior, waiting to act appropriately and without hesitation when directed to do so by Him.

32. i must always wear revealing and sexy clothing of good taste around my Master unless given permission to do so otherwise. The clothing i wear will allow easy access to my pussy, ass and breasts. The clothing will emphasize and often exaggerate my assets. i will wear such clothing in any kind of weather. How i present my body to Him or in front of others is more important than my discomfort and insecurities.

33. When others show an interest in what i am wearing i must ask them if they would like to see more and then gladly show them what they would like to see – but only after i have received permission from my Master – for i trust my Master’s judgement that such a display is not only reasonable but is safe to do.

34. i must remove all of my clothing in the way i have been taught when Master commands of me to do so – regardless of who may be present and despite where it is i am – i trust my Master.

35. When i remove clothing from my body it must be folded neatly and placed in a small pile in front of me just ahead of my feet or my knees if i should be required to be in my kneeling position after unclothing myself.

36. my basic attire in the presence of my Master shall consist of a collar and my highest heels. The rings of my submission, if i have been pierced, must also be attached to my body, as should the chains He has given or allowed me to wear.

37. my legs, underarms and pussy must be kept completely shaved smooth and clean so that nothing of me is hidden from view.

38. Unless otherwise given permission – my hair must be kept up in a manner that is ravishing so that my shoulders and the nape of my neck are fully exposed – especially when i am naked. It is important to Master that i appear not just attractive, but alluring and desirable.

39. Whenever i need to pick something up or receive something from someone else i must do so wherever possible by going into a kneeling position to show that i am honored to do so. i will perform this motion according to how Master has taught me.

40. my pussy and ass must be thoroughly washed and of a good aroma at all times, if even perfumed, but especially before serving my Master.

41. my “place” is on my knees before my Master, for it is a privilege and honor to be His slave.

42. When in the presence of my Master, but not in use, i will go to the place He has selected until i am needed by Him.

43. my greatest felt satisfaction is realized when i know i have pleased my Master.

44. There can be no greater pain or suffering i can feel then when Master is not pleased with me. Naturally i will feel depressed, saddened, empty, and lost. i can only hope He will show His mercy upon me and provide to me the guidance i will need to be put back on track so that i will be forgiven and once again be allowed His eyes upon my flesh, His touch upon my soul, and His warmth and love upon my heart.

45. my submission is a natural inborn feeling, and at times a surging and powerful force inside me that only a respectable and knowledgeable Master can recognize, control and manage, for a He understands how my nature influences my behavior and how temptations to act outside of its drive can easily lead me astray and away from my primary focus: to please and to be found pleasing. He, too, manages and controls His Own natural state, sharing with me through a power exchange between us, bonding me tightly to Him, His needs with mine. my submission to such a Master allows for me to feel more aware and alive inside and out, bringing me to a feeling i cherish: ‘ at home ‘.

46. i fear no other power for my Master is always with me.

47. i will not hesitate in my obedience to my Master.

48. Whenever Master speaks, even when i am speaking, i am to immediately become silent so i may be able to listen intensely to what He has to say. i must never interrupt Him unless He has shown me how to communicate with Him, if i need to. i must ask first for His permission to speak, specifying to whom i would like to speak to, and whether or not i may be allowed to speak freely – then and only then, if granted, may i say anything more than asking first to speak.

49. The opportunity to please my Master is very important to me and i will take every chance to seek out such opportunities to do so to the best of my abilities and in accordance to how i have been taught or allowed to do so.

50. i choose willingly to be treated as my Master’s property – as long as such treatment is safe and legal.

51. When Master feels i am ready and our relationship has progressed to a lifelong commitment, i shall be specially prepared to receive His unique and permanent mark of ownership upon my flesh, in a place of His choosing, whether it be a piercing, a tattoo or a branding. Thereafter, i shall become His property and slave in the most strict sense – completely His for as long as the relationship continues to be managed and controlled in the manner in which is beneficial to each of us and in accordance with our mutually shared natures.

52. i am my Master’s greatest treasure.

53. i will learn all the positions my Master wants to teach me to the best of my abilities and will be prepared to take such positions when required and to display myself in a manner through them that He, and others who may be present, will find most pleasing.

54. i must never reach orgasm without explicit permission from my Master. Failure to receive properly asked for permission and i will endure the punishment Master will put upon me without my safeword. Such pleasure must be seen as a privilege so that i do not take advantage of it.

55. The safeword given to me by my Master can be spoken at any time – even when i have been told to be silent. If i am not able to verbalize it – i trust my Master will show me how i can express it. Safewords are for my protection as well as His. i must be careful not to take more than i can handle, as He will need to know when to stop from getting carried away with His own passions – so that i may be prepared over time to endure more for Him.

56. my safeword, verbal or otherwise, cannot be used when i am being punished. i must remember that punishment could never be very effective if i were able to control it – i must take it in full measure – so that i will focus on the correction of my behavior for the long term, for unlike discipline, punishment is not what i will want again. i should know better. However, safewords can be used when i am being disciplined – Master will let me know which is which when the time has come that such treatment is necessary to correct my behavior.

57. i must confess to my Master when i have been naughty so that He may decide if such violations require me to be disciplined or to be punished. i must accept whatever decisions He makes by thanking Him for His choice – if He allows it before or shortly thereafter, specifying as to why i will be or have been disciplined or punished. i must focus upon how sorry i am for not behaving in the way in which i have been taught – for i have brought defilement upon myself and to Him an unacceptable act which is displeasing to Him.

58. i realize Master may own more than one slave, if He so chooses, and that i, unless allowed by Him, may never be able to have another Master other than Him, except by His choosing to further my training. i trust Master will take whatever precautions are necessary to keep the slaves He chooses to own sexually healthy and to provide whatever measures are necessary to protect us from the eruptions and ravages of any jealously which may try to corrupt the relationships our Master has allowed between each of us – including the one we each have with Him.

59. i must never be concerned when i feel too much of my flesh is showing, in private or in the general public – however, i can ask my Master for permission as to how to handle my discomfort.

60. i am a female slave – of worth and value to any Master who would find me useful. my role has been clearly brought into definition through my ability to recognize and to act accordingly with my true nature, enhanced through the teachings of my Master, and through the continued practice of my primary focus, and my search for every opportunity to do so.

61. my Master will decide what my sexual orientation shall be. i will commit myself to His decision and perform as such only in His presence and only with His permission. i know my performance will be measured and corrected as He sees fit should i be required to attend to, provide myself to, perform with, or upon another female slave.

62. i must tell my Master if i have had an orgasm without His permission so that i can be properly punished for my disobedience and disrespect.

63. Pain and pleasure shall be with me always – in my thoughts and my fantasies – for the contrast strengthens me to behave in the manner my Master expects of me. Such thoughts and fantasies are tainted with the memories i have from the last time i was in the presence of my Master. He is with me always.

64. my limits do not have to be respected – i trust my Master to take me past them when He expects that i am ready – for each side of the wall of my limitations is both pleasurable and a challenge – one side more intense than the other. My only hope in such transferences is that Master will be able to take me there again and again as my relationship to Him progresses through time, that He too will need it as much as i will, and that He will not be afraid to increase the intensity while we are there.

65. i have much to learn in order to become a well-trained and well-behaved slave.

66. i will endure whatever discipline or punishment my Master gives me so i can become a better slave for Him.

67. i will work on building up my tolerances to the level my Master needs me to have, being careful not to push myself further or faster than i am ready to endure for Him, so that i may be able to expand my limitations and increase my value to Him.

68. Through discipline and punishment i shall learn to behave.

69. In bondage i am made free.

70. i will never touch my breasts, nipples, pussy or clit with my hands or sex toys in any manner where i could experience sexual or sensual pleasure without permission from my Master including washing them, shaving my pussy, adjusting my breasts as i fit them into clothing, or in attaching my rings.

71. Only through submission can i find my true self.

72. my life is empty without a Master to please – that lost feeling inside can be real and it can grow. i may be able to step away from the hunger of my nature, but not for long, for soon it could effect every part of my life. It is important that i seek a Master to please – but if i cannot find one or that i shall not be found, i am not totally lost for i must always remember: i will survive – for it is my nature to do so. my drive to please can be adapted towards the needs of others even though they may not be as satisfying as the one i would have towards a Master. i must keep in the back of mind that there is a Master who is looking too and that i need to be patient by redirecting my needs in other ways where i can provide pleasure to others.

73. i shall never think of myself as a weak person for it takes a strong female to commit to the drive inside me, to serve, to obey and to please a Master. i too have responsibilities and as natural as they may seem to me it is important that i use all of my faculties including my creative spirit to submit to a Master in a unique fashion personal to my relationship with Him. By doing so i hope to provide a good example to those females around me who may still be learning so they too are not led astray from their primary focus, that they are as true to their nature as i strive to continue to be to mine. i must remember that how i well i behave enlightens and empowers me to become even closer to who i am – a devoted slave, of good rapport to a Master who truly understands my needs in relationship to His own.

74. i will give all that i am to my Master in order to become free.

75. i must never show disrespect towards my Master in any way – no matter where i am – in his presence or not.

76. Crying and the shedding of tears at any time is good and expected for it softens my will and bonds me closer to my Master.

77. Only in complete submission to my Master shall i realize the depth of the love i have for Him.

78. The needs of my Master must always come first before mine own for they offer an opportunity to please Him.

79. i must be attentive to the needs of my Master and always be ready to respond to them to the best of my abilities and in the unique ways in which i have chosen and have developed for Him.

80. i am allowed to suggest ways to further my training or use of me, verbally or through my journal, as long as i address my Master properly first.

81. i must always respond fully both physically and verbally to whatever my Master does with me. The expressions of my emotions and my physical responses are important to Him. i must never hold back any part of their display, regardless of how intense they may be, unless restricted to do so.

82. i am a sexual and sensual being.

83. i must always remember how pleased my Master is when others delight in my sexiness as a result of my ability to show off my assets.

84. my behavior must always display a sexual content however subtle.

85. The only clothing i will buy and wear will be those items which my Master would find pleasing to Him: fitting to my figure and its assets, of good quality, of reasonable cost, and appropriate in His eyes and taste for the occasions i am allowed to attend with or without Him. i may ask if i may choose what to wear so i may be able take an opportunity to surprise Him to win His favor.

86. i may, at times, offer various parts of my body to my Master in hopes He will take pleasure in using them in whatever ways He wishes. my only hope will be that my offering will please Him. If not, i want Him to punish me.

87. It is important for me to eat plenty of carbohydrates, proteins and vitamins in the foods and fluids i am permitted to choose to nourish my body and mind, and to exercise my body regularly, as permitted by my Master, to increase my physical strength, to keep my limbs as flexible as possible, and to maintain or improve my figure so i may be able to endure my Master’s use of me however intense and for however long a period is required by Him. i want to be of a healthy and sound mind and body, free as possible of any personal limitations, when pleasing my Master.

88. If i am required to be my Master’s toilet, into or onto which He chooses to release the watery juices of His cock, i shall position myself to receive His personal waters by kneeling for Him, tilting my head back, opening my cunt wide, and closing my eyes so that He will delight in the display and offering of my body and of one of my orifices for Him choose upon which one to use. i shall remain still as He releases Himself, swallowing what i can of the waters He allows me. i shall play with myself during the release, as is instructed by Him, so that i am permitted to sexualize the experience as much as possible for His pleasure, thanking Him afterwards for allowing me the opportunity to honor Him in this most private way.

89. i will not wear a pad or tampon when i am on my period without His permission – my pussy must be available for His use at all times. Should i be allowed to use a pad or tampoon – it must be removed in His presence should He require my vagina to be emptied – regardless of where i am and who may be present. The use of a pad or tampoon is a privilege that can be taken away from me at any time. If so, i can only hope i will be allowed to bleed for His pleasure and to feel my blood trickling down my legs or to strain to hear it drip onto the floor or onto another female slave he has selected to punish with my blood.

90. If Master has chosen my sexual orientation to that of being bisexual, and He requires of me to receive the watery juices or blood of a chosen female slave’s pussy, i am to position myself, as i would for Master, to receive upon my flesh or into my cunt the slave’s juices, and if permitted to do so, either through His command or after receiving permission from Him to display for Him my hunger, i will cup my cunt tightly to the slave’s pussy to feed from her, licking and sucking, if allowed to do so, as much as I can get from her remaining tightly cupped to her until Master allows me to release myself from her. Thereafter, i am to be thankful for what i have received and for the privilege He allowed me. Such a feeding will be counted as one of my meals for the day.

91. If it is possible to practice my basic attire in my household i will do so. i will remove my clothing immediately after entering my household putting my collar on first, then my rings and chains (if i have them), and my highest heels.

92. i will always sleep nude – kneeling first before i enter my bed and kneeling first as soon as i get out of my bed – for it is a great privilege to have a bed to sleep on.

93. i must never tighten my body when it is being whipped, caned, cropped, slapped, paddled, belted, strapped, spanked, bullwhipped, signal whipped, or anally or vaginally pumped. my Master likes it when my flesh jiggles and He knows that when i tighten my body it hurts more and inhibits my ability to display my expressions and emotions.

94. i am proud to wear upon my body the marks given to me by my Master. i know that my Master will never mark me permanently – other than the mark of His ownership He will give me at the proper time, but i will gladly suffer for Him so he can mark me with the stripes he wishes to decorate my body with for His viewing pleasure.

95. i will always listen with a strong interest in whatever my Master has to say during my training. i want to learn all that i can from Him so i can understand more about Him, about me, about the bdsm scene and community, and those involved in bdsm relationships – so i may be able to better understand the world i am apart of and be able to communicate it accurately to anyone who wishes to know more about it.

96. When i take a shower i can do so the way i like to, but when i have finished washing i must rinse my entire body with only cold water for not less than 2 full minutes. i am not to try to cover my body with my arms and hands thereafter. i may use a towel to dry off, but in my Master’s house – only His whip shall be used to dry me.

97. When i walk, run, sit, stand, kneel, reach out, speak, or listen – i will do so in a sexual manner, however subtle, and with confidence and pride hoping other females around me will feel my projection upon them, that my performance is found admirable, that they would seek to emulate me without any of their insecurities or self-conscious thoughts holding them back. I want to set the best example of proper female behavior – especially if Master or someone He has chosen is nearby to examine and monitor it. However, my goal must be to behave as naturally and freely as is possible as if without any effort on my part.

98. When standing still i shall do so with my feet and legs together, my hands held behind my back and my head bowed down. i will remain silent in the way Master has taught me.

99. If required: the plug Master has provided me must be inserted deeply into my pussy before arriving at my Master’s house. Failure to do so and i shall feel the punishment He will give upon my pussy as i keep the lips of it pulled apart – for the plug was intended to provide me pleasure.

100. i hope Master will choose to use my tongue as His towel after His shower so i may be able to worship His body.

101. Until Master has chosen it is time for me to wear a more permanent mark of ownership upon my flesh, i shall proudly wear His temporary mark of ownership upon me wherever He chooses to place it.

102. When sitting i shall sit up straight with my legs together and my palms down on the top of my thighs.

103. i will not speak to others without my Master’s permission except to say to them that they will have to speak to my Master first. This is especially important at play parties.

104. i shall learn to the endure the whippings Master gives me by using the technique of saying ‘ YES ‘ through each of His strike brought down upon my flesh.

105. i shall gladly make my body available to my Master to be used as furniture: my body positioned to decorate a room or a garden, a footstool to rest his weary feet and legs upon, my backside as a His table to eat off of, the cleavage of my breasts to hold his wine glass, my palms to be used to hold a plate of His food, or my hands to hold a book open for Him to read or a lamp to for Him to see.

106. Privacy is a privilege – even to have it when i need to use the bathroom. i must ask for it and accept my Master’s decision even when i am denied of it.

107. As a helper slave i shall assist my Master in the setting of a scene or in the training and use of other female slaves.

108. As a preparer slave i shall ready other female slaves for my Masters use, harden His cock for Him, or harden the cocks of others He allows me to harden.

109. As a cleaner slave i shall use my tongue to clean the cum of my Master from the body of a female slave He has put it upon, my cunt to suck for it from a female slave’s pussy my Master has used for His pleasure, or to clean the cocks i am allowed to clean that have been pulled out of the pussies of other slaves. For as a cleaner slave i am to lick up what semen i can find.

110. As a provider slave i shall offer parts of my body to those selected by my Master for their pleasure. i will also offer myself to those who wish to use me for a demonstration or to experiment on.

111. As a domestic slave i shall perform chores about my Master’s house, and those of others He allows, acting in a sexual and enticing manner in all that i do.

112. As a sex slave i shall incorporate a sexual attitude and hunger in everything i do, being eager to sexually perform at the best of my abilities for my Master and for those whom He allows to use me. my hunger must be such that i would feel as if i could never be satiated until Master allows me to be.

113. The beginning and the ending of a day shall always be with a full body whipping and a cockfeeding to remind me of my place or to provide myself to my Master for His first and last use.

114. When i have been given permission to play with myself i shall do so in the following manner: working my clit almost to an orgasm and then stopping for a few minutes, then working it again to almost at orgasm and then stopping for a few minutes, and then finally working it again to a full orgasm. Then and only then shall i enjoy an orgasm on my own. Should i cum before the third tier – i will tell my Master so i may be punished. i will play with myself in this manner even in His presence.

115. Should Master ever wish to cage me for display, i will gladly crawl into it and proudly position myself in it in ways He finds pleasing, in solitude and quiet, so that if He chooses, others may delight in what they see without any interruption from me, seeing that i am well-behaved and humbled that i am Master’s property and slave. i can only hope that Master would never put me into a cage to confine me for my misbehavior, that i could never come that close to displease Him so much that i would have to suffer such humiliation, begging with my tears and my cries for his forgiveness, for i want the cage to be my safe haven from my fears, a place i can crawl into of my own free will, locked into it because Master granted my request to be locked in it.

116. i am free to leave my Master at any time without the fear of permanently losing Him as my Master.

117. At the beginning of my relationship with my Master i shall present to Him three names for Him to decide upon as to which one will be my slave name. i know that He does not have to choose any of them and that He can choose one of His own for me to be known by. Thereafter, when someone asks who i am i can respond by introducing myself in the following manner: ” i am slave [slavename], property of Master John.”

118. i will periodically examine my whole life and look for how it has changed as a result of my relationship to my Master. i will speak to my Master about those areas where there have been improvements and those areas where i feel uncomfortable, insecure, or unsure of what direction i should take, how i should behave, or how i can behave in a manner that is different than how i have been behaving in the past.

119. i want to suffer for my Master in ways that please Him and that are safe for me to do so.

120. i will not be passive in serving my Master. i will aggressively participate in my exchange with Him.

121. If i am sent to another Master to serve – i will serve that Master well, as if He were my Master, for i want my Master to receive a good report after i have been returned to Him.

122. Should Master wish for my breasts to be suckled by a female slave of His choice or that legal and safe drugs be used to induce the production of milk in my breasts, i will do my best to keep my milk up so that He and others may feed from me, that my breasts will be full, tight and extra sensitive as much as possible, for however long Master wants my breasts to produce milk for Him. Likewise, i will assist in the inducement of milk production from the breasts of any female slave Master has chosen for me.

123. i will not date others or form a relationship with others without permission and approval from my Master. If i should have sex with others i will have it safely and will always tell my Master in detail what i have done so that no part of me is a secret and that i am laid bare for his inspection and approval.

124. The money i earn, should i be allowed a career, or put to work, where i am paid for my responsibilities, is mine to keep. However, i must ask my Master how i should spend or save it. i may present ways to Him for His approval. i will accept the responsibilities He gives me in the handling of my finances. It is important to my Master that i learn to handle money wisely so, if needed, i can reach my goals or be ready for any emergency where finances may be required for resolution.

125. If i am wearing a dress or skirt and no panties and i am going to sit down – i must sit on my bare skin – and do so gracefully whether i am in private or in public. If i feel that i am not as clean as i should be, i will tell my Master, so that He can decide what should be done.

126. When i wear nylons i will wear them only with garters and high heels. i will never wear panty hose – such items of clothing shall be thrown out.

127. When i am in the presence of my Master and i am free to move about i will do so in seductive and enticing ways.

128. i will give to Master my body, mind and spirit, in faith of His knowledge of the skills, safety and first aid measures necessary to put me through painfully ecstatic and euphoric edgeplay: the use of needles and pins to pierce my flesh; the use of scoring tools to make drawings upon my body or to selectively and carefully cut my skin to make me bleed with little or no scarring; aromatherapy where He will throw me into higher states of consciousness with the scents of oils and incense; blood and breath control to bring me to the edge of my survival to feel the battle for my self-preservation; guns and knifeplay to intensify my awareness of my existence racing parallel with my threatened drive to live; and other such uses. Through these activities i shall learn to ride on the top edge of my fears and the bottom edge of my perception of utter terror – for it is there i shall come to know my greatest fear of all: that i will want to go there again and again.

The end.
by Johnathan Kay
(Warning: This is not sex positive. It’s proudly privileged.)
http://128rulesguy.blogspot.com/2011/07/128-rules-for-female-slave.html?zx=1d02ee047909b312

Goals In BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Commit, commitment, communication, control, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, positive reinforcement, Protocol, Protocols, punish, Punishment, Rules, self confidence, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive blank canvas with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

We should all have goals in life and we as Dominants or Masters need to set goals for our property being Submissive or Slave.

The goals come from training , and again this is just my point of view , what works for me may not work for another Dom.

What makes our world so awesome is we can be who we want when we want. Our level of communication is just incredible.

As with anything though we all have to take steps. A new Dominant or Master has to take steps, it is a progression progress.

Where things blow up or get out of hand , an inexperienced Dom tries to jump in with both feet in the fire and it blows up in his face.

Just as we set goals for our property we have to set our own goals for us.
Where do we want to be? What type of relationship do we want ? Do we want a submissive or a slave? Where do we want to be a year from now ?
These are steps that we need to think about before we start walking. Yes that even means putting a plan into place and following that plan.

What is more important is when you set your goals you stick to them , and one by one you complete each goal, it is not rocket science and it is much easier than most make it out to be.
The downside of everything is it takes work because nothing is handed to you, no one can complete your goals for you.

So you can look and act like you know what your doing or you can look like a complete idiot.

Our partners , our submissive’s our Slaves should always come first no matter what. We put those who serve in front of everything else or anybody else and that includes family.

Honesty and integrity first and for most , we want respect but we have to show it first. We must be truthful from the start. If you start out your relationship with a lie then your whole relationship is a lie , and you can never go back.

One of the first things we tell someone we just met is , you must always be truthful, always tell the truth no matter what. We want honesty out of our property but we don’t want to give the same in return. Although one is Dominant and one is Submissive it is not a one way street.

Rules , Structure , Protocols and Goals they all fall into place. They key to what I just stated also falls under consistency , and being consistent on a daily basis.

You want someone to follow you , you want someone to submit to you , you want someone to turn over control, well buddy you gotta step up to the plate and promise you can and will step up and you will guide them every step of the way..

When we train we train to fit our needs, we train to fit our wants so it is only fair we give back more than we take. If we take a 100 % we should give back 150% and on a daily basis.

Goals are set for self improvement , goals are set to help in everyday life. Goals can be small or as big as going back to school.
Goals can be from getting up at a certain time, completing small task through out the day.

All goals should be met with positive reinforcement, that a girl , maybe some other small reward.

Some not all but some come with problems , be it self esteem , home life , daily life or just smothered in personal problems, maybe depression or other types of illnesses.
Before anything we should take the time to help mend what ever is going on before we enter the D’s or M’s aspect of the relationship.

The two should sit down and discuss goals and why they are needed. Goals how ever should not be a punishable offense. Goals and positive Reinforcement does not equal being punished.

You know I have spoken about how I had roommates prior to meeting Ariannna. I did so mainly because I wanted the company someone I could sit down to dinner with.

One the female who is a very dear friend was and is very sick, and suffers from depression, a lot of things going on. She head no insurance not physically able to work, so I set goals for her.

I walked her through each and every process. First I got her the medical attention she needed , I then made sure she went to counseling , medication for her depression , then a lawyer and last disability. All of these were goals and they were started and completed.
In the end she messed somethings up and lost some , but in a way it was her fault and in a way it was not.
Her Boyfriend is worthless , he is like a screen door on a submarine , he gives no support , did not even care until the day she was receiving her check from SSI.
Helping her is more of a burden to him not to mention the mental abuse.
I did what I felt I had to , and while there were road blocks we completed each task , until things fell into place.

If we set goals then we should be there to help , we should be there to guide , and give advice when needed.
You cannot treat a goal like a rule , because it is no longer a goal. Goals are meant for self improvement.
What we as Dominants or Masters want is to see ours grow inside and out, we want to build ours up , even if it means just maintaining their health , making sure they are stable.

Once you reach that goal you need to continue support, so we can maintain that level , and again that comes with positive reinforcement.

So if you are in a relationship and there are no such plans in play , and your relationship is just about rules and being punished , then maybe your best interest does not come into play…..

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Vile

Abuse Starts At A Very Early Age

Posted in Argue, Arianna, bdsm, Manipulation, masochist, Pony Girl, pony play, positive reinforcement, Praise, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , on July 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have been in the lifestyle for more than twenty years, and I have met thousands of people. Dominants, Masters, Submissive’s, slaves, Pony Girls, puppy’s, Kitty’s , the list goes on and on.

One thing I found in common with many is a lot not all but a lot were abused at an early age. This included physical , Mental , Rape and the most being molested by family members.

Okay so I do not have any hard numbers or facts so call me a bull shitter, or say I don’t know what I am talking about , but any Dominant who has been in the lifestyle for any amount of time will also say this is true.

I am not sure why the medical Profession has caught on yet, if I have surely they can find a connection. I believe one problem is those who are seeing doctors are scared of being open, about their lifestyle, in fear the doctor may not understand.

Okay so teen suicide is up by more than 50% compared to the 70’s , but now we have troubled teens taking to the streets with guns.

So a troubled teen lives at home and he is fixing to go on a slaughter, but the parents do not have a clue, really are you serious? They are locked up in their room, with nothing to do.

It is easier to push drugs on kids to make them so they can no longer think. They walk around like zombies. Now the problem is fixed.

The one thing I have not figured out is, troubled male teens growing up seldom make it into the lifestyle as Dominants, or I have never met anyone who had such troubles.
I have however met those who were Dominant and suffered from depression which I have blogged about in the past. This is probably one of the most dangerous Dominants you can enter a relationship with. If a Dominant or any other man for that matter cannot control his own life, how can you expect him to control someone else ?

Bea who I was in a relationship with for seven yrs, she was a cutter at a very young age, and her parents knew it was drugs, and they blamed it on her friends. Her mother would stand in the bathroom with her watching her pee in a cup for a over the counter drug test kit. How fucking embarrassing is that.
All along it was her parents, they were the root of the problem. On the outside of the shell everything looked like a 1950’s home, but behind closed doors, the arguing and the fighting, the screaming, and the lack of attention, the lack of taking part in their child’s life..

Shortly after we moved in together the cutting stopped, each time I would catch her we would talk about what was going through her mind. I never told her should could not do it, I just made it clear it displeased me.

Family’s are not what they were 30 years ago. Today it takes two incomes to support a home, mostly due to greed. The huge houses, and cars, credits cards are a disease a bad cancer.

Americans as a whole are stuck on big, our cars, boats, houses , and there is nothing wrong with that, but we tend to get lost , lost in life.

Several years ago I use to drive a Taxi during season here, and I could pick up a grand a week sometimes more.
One day I dropped off at the Orlando Airport and a guy from Egypt stopped me and asked me where I was going, Daytona Beach man. How much, um for you 200 bucks, normally 150, I get half. So he jumped in.
While driving I asked what his business was, he was here to buy seven 7/11’s
okay go figure.
So I ask why so many people from the Middle East come to the US to buy business’s. He stated he did not want to offend me. I was like dude you cannot offend me.

His answer was, The American people have lost all family values, Morals, and everything is for sale including your wife.
I thought wow that is some deep shit there. So if he thinks this way, imagine how the rest of the world views us. I mean the french hate us, but who really cares about them?
So it cannot be just one man who feels that way, millions I am sure feel the same way.

I was talking to Arianna sometime ago, and I was telling her how people change. I said you know 30 years ago a bad storm hits, and a huge oak tree is knocked down in your back yard. The next morning 20 people would be there helping you clear it out.
Today 20 people would show, but they would want to know how much they are getting paid. It is true.

Instead of blaming our future, we need to take a look at us as a whole. What are we doing different than we did 30, 40 or 50 years ago.

We use to fight in school, today kids are bringing guns. Something is wrong.

This is just my opinion you can take it for what it is worth I do not have a PHD.

cutter

Vile

Sub-Drop

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Beatings, Bipolar, blindfold, Bondage, cage, Cherish, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Depression, Dominants, Fear, Humiliation, masochist, Master, Masters, Mental illness, Pain, positive reinforcement, Praise, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, session, slave, Stressed, Sub Drop, submissive on July 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sub-drop is something that has to be dealt with right after a session, or rough play. I firmly believe that sub-drop can be prevented with the right care.  While some may disagree I am speaking from over 20 years of experience in the lifestyle. I am not some dude who got out of bed Friday and said I am a Dom on your knees bitch.

You spend a couple of hours in a session, playing rough, not making love but just raw, sweaty hard fucking. Last weekend Arianna and I spent about 3 hours in play from being bound in the cage, tied to the bed spread eagle, blindfolded not knowing what was going on, not a clue. I cannot even imagine that feeling. Being able to hear but you cannot see.

I love using sexually, it is like mini golf I want to play all three holes and then start over. Sometimes I don’t even want to cum because I don’t want to lose that feeling.

I love face fucking, to me face fucking making her gag is one of the most humiliating things a man can do to a woman. I love feeling the throat muscles wrap around my cock feeling that gagging sensation. WOW.

Sub-Drop there are a couple of different definitions. one being, Physical Sub Drop the other being Mental

Physical Sub-Drop during a hard play session where a lot of impact play is going on, your body see’s this as more of a trauma. So naturally the body goes into the defense mode, pulling most of the blood to the to the torso area to protect the organs, yes think about this for a second, your mind is one place, but your body is in another.  While you are enjoying the play your body is going what the fuck.

Then comes the Mental part of Sub-Drop Mental Sub-Drop is much harder to see, It varies in such a great degree from person to person but usually takes the forms of guilt, anxiety,depression, and or agitation. This can happen right after a session or it can take up to several days for Sub-Drop to kick in.

There are several things we have to look at before any type of hard play. Things should be talked about like types of medications they are taking, mind altering , for depression or any other mental illness. If someone is suffering from Bi-polar then you have to adjust your play and not push to far.  If the Dominant does not know the submissive inside out there are things that should be considered. It is up to the Dominant to look out for the Submissive, we are to insure their safety.

Normally after a session the submissive has a feeling of being relaxed, not caring, very much at home feeling, and very tired the submissive will be mentally drained. Let them rest take a nice hot bath, bath them talk to them.

Aftercare is very important, if you just spent an hour beating a submissive and you untie and just walk away then you are not a good Dominant, I use the word beating loosely by the way.

While it is true after a session some do want to be left alone for a while so their mind can process everything that just happened. During a session you should be in constant communication with the Submissive insuring they are in fact okay. Again you the Dominant are responsible for their safety.

Give them some time alone if they need, let them curl up in a ball and process everything, even take a nap.

After you should step in, hold and pet, talk to about everything that happened. Praise the Submissive for doing so well. Talk about any limits that were tested or pushed.

Even if there was no real impact play , and everything was mainly mental the impact on the body can still be devastating.

That is why I myself believe Aftercare should be Proactive, and not just used after play, more so if the submissive is a masochist.

Certain medications and hard impact play do not go well together. If your submissive suffers from any type of depression and is taking mind altering drugs then there must be communication. You as the Dominant may decide there is a better approach to playing or you may decide not to play at all. Again we are to look out for ours.

I am going to pass on a link that I think everyone should read and maybe it will explain a little more about your feelings after play.

http://subshelpingsubs.tripod.com/articles/subdrop.html

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Much Love

Vile

Sex When I want It, And On My Terms

Posted in 24/7, abuse, anal sex, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, ass play, bdsm, blow job, Collarme.com, communication, control, controlling, cum, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Deception, Divorce, Dominants, dress, Eating Pussy, emotional, Emotions, ethics, fetlife, foreplay, fucking, Giving Head, Honesty, infidelity, Law, Lies, life, Married Dominant, Married submissive, Master, Masters, men begging, morals, needy, No Rights, non caring, oral, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, pleasure, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, pussy, Respect, Rough Sex, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, serve, sex, sex slaves, slave, submissive, sucking dick, The word NO, TPE, Trust, Viles House on February 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not sure if sex is one of the advantages of being a Dominant has anything to do with this topic, but I hear a lot of vanilla guys talking about how their women cut them off, or they wont suck dick, and how their girlfriends refuse to have anal sex.

The truth be known many vanilla men are pussy’s. In many cases the female holds sex hostage, to use at their advantage, usually to get what they want. I remember hearing my aunt talking yo my uncle when I was very young, how he had better watch his mouth because it was not Thursday yet, which was payday for him. She may of been playing but now that I look back on it maybe she was serious. My uncle was an average looking guy nothing special. My aunt had always dated rich men she was catered to. My uncle was a union carpenter at that time he made like 14 an hr, back in the early 70’s I guess that was considered good money. I remember hearing my aunt saying how my uncle was not much to look at, but he treated her like a princess, but still she held sex hostage.

I got a lot of flake off of a post I wrote several months ago about how women were put here to serve.Well in most cases I still stand firm on my beliefs. There are those exceptions where the woman runs the house. There are those exceptions where the woman controls the man, and the man just bows down. I would imagine some are happy, but then again there are those men who lost their control early on, and had no idea how to regain it, or maybe just to afraid to grab their balls and step up to the plate, in fear of what? Yup not getting pussy, their weekly reward, get on and get off and leave me alone until next Thursday.

Some men just cower down like a beat puppy. This really in many ways makes me sick to my stomach , I cringe when I hear those almighty words YES DEAR. Wow really are you serious? Your really going to take that. Your going to put your head down turn around and run off to the little man cave she allows you to have so you are out of her hair. All because you are pussy whipped.

Those were the choices you made before getting married, or moving in with your girlfriend. I have a friend named matt, who lives with a girl, and he can only get on collarme or fetlife when she is not home. Now at one time he was a Daddy Dom or I thought he was, but like many people who are willing to settle for less until the next best thing comes along. So yea he is pussy whipped to the max, his penis runs his life. Matt is not allowed to come over to my house because his girlfriend thinks I am a bad influence on him. Me a bad influence on someone well it is possible I suppose.

Another friend Fred, I am not allowed over at his place anymore because of the same thing yea a bad influence. Fred pays a hooker 10.00 dollars twice a week to give him a blow job, I have never seen her but 10.00 bucks really, I can just imagine what she looks like. This has been going on for about five years same girl. Why? because his wife refuses to give head, or do anal, but he knew this before getting married.

So him and I are standing in the kitchen, I really hated going over to his place, they have 7 cats, and as many birds but the litter boxes are over running, the bird cages are dirty, and the smell is just well, like a land field. His wife stays home all day playing games on the computer. She does not cook very often, most of the time he picks up a pizza before coming home. So we are talking about this bitch he pays to suck his dick. He is paying roughly a thousand dollars a yr for head, plus keeping his wife up. That is just crazy, more so it is uncalled for. So I told him go in the living room drop your pants and tell her to give you head. Well her being the nosy bitch she is over heard me, here she comes running in the kitchen. Excuse me what did you say? I told fred to go in the living room drop his pants and tell you to give him head, if you did that he would not be paying a bitch to suck his dick. Okay she did not know about the hooker, my bad. He knew before he married the cow she did not suck dick or take it up the ass. He should man up and except his own stupidity. He made the choice he dug his own grave so suck it up.

We all know how I feel about infidelity ,I feel once in a relationship the two should remain monogamous, unless, and I do mean unless, the couple has made arrangements. The problem with cheating, you really do not know someone you just met, and the odds of taking something home are really great. How much guilt would that carry? Would your marriage be reparable ? Is it worth putting your family through such an ordeal when you get caught, because you will get caught, it is not how, it is when.. I have absolutely no respect for a dominant who steps out of his marriage because his wife wont take it up the ass. So he finds a bitch who will, knowing he will never leave his wife, kids and lose his home, on top of all the money he will end up paying out. Now the submissive is thinking different, and it will take about a year of ass fucking for her to figure that out.

A Dominant who is married, and steps out of his marriage is a punk ass pussy. Your a fake hiding behind a title you do not deserve. While you have some bitch tied to a bed, your loving wife is home cooking dinner and helping the kids with their home work. Fuck I get worked up over this bullshit. Your a pussy and I will tell you to your face.

Here is the thing, I have a friend who is a Dominant, he is seeing a married woman, he is married as well but separated. The married submissive can only have sex with her husband when she is given permission. Are you kidding me? Her husband puts food on the table, pays her bills, a roof over her head, and a car to drive, but she is not allowed to have sex with him. Get the fuck out. The same goes for a female if your not happy, cut the rope and get the fuck out, be who you need to be, you do not have to drag your whole family down with you.

Maybe being a Dominant and owner does have its advantages, but I have met other Dom’s who have the same problem, they are pussy whipped, the first time a submissive says no , the dominant blows up then he wants to exert his authority. I am your Master Bitch you will do as I say. Come on now you have heard it as well, or the Dom will start pouting, or even worse he will pull the guilt trip out of his box of tricks.

The word NO is not in Arianna’s vocabulary, the word NO never comes out of her mouth. I will admit she still does hesitate at somethings, but she is slowly learning , I have her best interest in mind.

Sex I love sex, I love to fuck, I love getting my dick sucked, I love eating pussy, and if I am really into you I will even rim. Last night I rubbed lotion on Arianna, maybe not a full massage but close. Then I just got the urge to go down on her, so down south I went, for a good ten minutes or so, just loving life. I did not want anything in return, I just love eating pussy. So without saying a word I pulled the covers down I opened her thighs and went to town, I did not ask or say a word. The same with getting head, if I am in the mood laying in bed, I will just grab her by her hair and pull her down to my cock.

Yesterday I got the urge to fuck, I told Arianna to strip and get on her back, she did as instructed, I crawled on top busted a nut, and got off of her, I was done. Now most of the time I spend a lot of time when it comes to sex, I love hearing and seeing a woman get off, so I try to make sure I take care of her, but at times it is just about me.

I run my house, I control my house, it is my way and only my way, no questions asked. This was the agreement we had before entering a relationship. Sex when I want, how I want, where I want, be it oral, pussy or anal, it is about me. If you settle for less, you will never be happy, and I refuse to end up being the cheating Dom having to rent a motel room. I refuse to pay for pussy.

Being a Dominant, a Master and owner means a great deal of responsibility, A Dominant should be able to give 100% and no less to his property. We must be available 24/7. Because if you are not, she will find someone who will be, it make take a little time but she will dump your sorry ass.

Sex is on my terms. Now if Arianna is not feeling well. I am considerate enough to wait. Again on my terms.

When out I do not dress Arianna like a slut, although she would wear what she was told to wear. When going out I instruct her on what she will be wearing. In the afternoon, I have clothes laid out, she knows to come in, pull her shoes off at the door, pick up her clothes and shower, no questions asked.

Arianna does not have options the only options are those I allow her. I do not talk much about our business, I generally just handle things, Arianna has enough on her plate now, so I do not bother her with the little stuff. The other day she asked about something, then she made the comment, well I guess it is on a need to know basis. My reply was your correct. If I feel I need to asked her for advice I will, but until then it is on a need to know.

Arianna comes first, no matter what. She knows she can wake me at 2am if she needs to, if she feels she needs to talk. She does however wake me to request to go to the bathroom, then permission to re-enter the bed. I am good with that. She was told early on about getting up or entering the bed.

Most would think our relationship is one way, but that is far from the course, most think my way of running a house is somewhat unorthodox , some think I am to strict. Well they do not pay my bills, nor does anyone put food on my table. How I run my house is my business. As long as Arianna is happy that is all that matters to me.

Arianna is by far the most compliant slave I have ever met. She enjoys task, she loves structure. She loves being limited to where she is allowed to sit. I do not believe Arianna could ever be replaced.

Sex on my terms, and only my terms. You guys need to think about those words instead of paying for a motel room, so you can have it on your terms. Go home to your wife.

 

Vile