Archive for the problems Category

I Have Changed Over The Years

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Daddy Dom, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, masochist, Master, Master & Slave, problems, Protocol, punish, Punishment, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on March 28, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

It was I am guessing my second week seeing cherrie . I arrived at her house around 8.45am, her kids left for school at 8.30. I walked in the door and all the toys were laid out on the coffee table. The one thing I noticed was the bull whip curled up on the coffee table along with the small Dixie cups.

So Three floggers the heaviest was about 12lbs, different size dildo’s the largest was about 12 in and about 4in around, a double dildo, a few dozen clamps, blindfold, and several ball gags, a large needle and canvas thread, and catheter.

My first real slave who was a total freak and masochist, I had no idea at the time what a sadist even was, nor had I ever heard someone actually needed pain on a daily basis to survive.

Humiliation was something new to me, I had always viewed humiliation as a type of abuse, I never looked at it as a form of release. Although today I still do not fully understand I see a pattern, and the pattern only slightly differs from slave to slave.

Sherrie suffered from depression, sherrie was also bi-polar, and manic as well, and she also suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. It was not until some years later I discovered the pattern, but not everyone was into pain like cherrie was, for the most it was about control, structure, security, and most of all stability, and honesty.  The slave knowing there was one person they could depend on, someone who would be there for them without question.

So I am looking at the Dixie cups and the bull whip. I looked at cherrie confused and she said target practice . Her bedroom was huge as she lay in the middle of her king size bed on her stomach she told me to place the cups upside down on her back six of them spread apart. She then told me to pick up the bull whip and stand by the door. She then instructed me to try and knock one off at a time using the whip, a single tail bull whip, about 12 ft long.

Crack I missed crack I missed again but I was striking flesh on her back, again and again and again missing the cups but hitting her back. As I moved closer to look I saw a huge wet spot under her, where she had came. Every strike she would cum. At about 40 tries my arms was starting to get tired and I maybe hit 3 cups total, I mean a direct hit. After we were done she handed me a bottle of rubbing alcohol and had me pour it on her back and rub it in with paper towels.

Almost seven year two or three times a week, we would session, but after the first year it became more of a task, because I had to out do each time, the humiliation had to be greater than the last time. Then it got to the point to where I was just taking out my bad days on her, and she would take it. It is funny I never saw the bitch cry one time, until the day I told her I was done.

She had failed to tell me she was married and her husband was in prison , but it did not bother me because I did not have those kind of deep feelings for her. As a matter of fact I never fucked her. The only thing I ever penetrated was her mouth.

After cherrie I moved from slave to slave, because I had not figured out that every slave was not a masochist. I had dated a few submissive’s but after hearing the word NO, I knew that was not the type of relationship I needed, but I was failing at every turn, even with slaves.

Even at BDSM events the subs and slaves would stay clear of me. So while talking to a Master one night and I was telling him about my problem it was then he told me. They are scared of you. When they look at you they see evil. I just shrugged it off, I actually thought it was kinda cool.

So One night I was invited to give a bull whip demo. It was a swingers party which I really had no interest in, and after the demo on a sheet of plywood I walked up stairs to go to the bathroom and I walked past this room, the door was shut and a line of guys were standing outside just waiting. So I walked up and opened the door and this girl was being gang banged, her dom told me to wait in line but I could clearly see she was in noway having fun. So I closed the door went to the bathroom walked back down the hall and started down stairs and something just hit me.

I turned around walked up and opened the door I walked in and I told the guy who was fucking her to get off. Her Dom walked up and grabbed my shoulder and I looked at him and said if you don’t let go I will rip your fucking head off and shove it up your ass and you can lick your own balls. I told her to get up and get dressed. In the mean time he is just yelling, cursing , calling me every name in the book. I told her I was driving the orange cougar go get in the car and I would be there in a few minutes.

Trinity was her name I took her straight home fucking Tampa a 150 miles away who would of fucking knew. Not very much was said , I pulled up in her yard and she said thank you. I said don’t be a cunt again. CUNT she said ? Yes CUNT Cant understand Normal Thinking.

When at Munchs I was treated different, subs and slaves would walk up and talk to me. It still had not clocked as to what had happened. Driving home I was thinking and I could actually feel I was going through some changes, my thinking process was different, and I knew I needed more but I was not sure what the more was.

A couple of years earlier I had met a Dom named Animel, this dude scared me, he looked like a pissed off Santa Clause, but the old man was full of wisdom and knowledge. So if I was going to hang out with anyone it was going to be him.

A mentor someone I could learn the deeper side of BDSM. I was not really a sadist but that is all I knew. All I knew was pain and humiliation nothing more.

Then on the day Arianna and I got married I was speaking with Master R I said something then he made the statement that the two of us were feared, then made the statement we were like a team, um no we are not a team.

As time passed I was more into the control aspect, but what I was learning along the way was I had to be in control of my life, I had to be in control of my surroundings , most of all in control of myself, only then could I control someone else.

It would truly surprise you to see how easy it is to control someone else, if you are in full control of your life, and your surroundings , I can promise you that if you are everything will just fall into place.

I have seen it many times where a Dominant would bring someone into his life and his own world is turned upside down. The submissive is now part of his mess, part of his drama, and his problems. This is not fair because the submissive can no longer concentrate on the relationship, then you add everything else on top of everything, and you wonder why one cannot follow rules, and protocols.  We are suppose to be providing structure, and security, and if your life is in rambles how can we provide anything ? How are we suppose to teach and train ? When things do not go as planned you the Dominant has no right to get upset, after you have piled all of your garbage on top of your submissive.

So I started to change somewhere down the line I developed feelings, it started bothering me when I hurt peoples feelings, not everyone just some, because you still have to have that fuck you I don’t care some where in your pocket. If you ever get rid of that fuck you card people will try to run over you, and your left to pick up all the pieces yourself.

I will go out of my way to help you, as long as you are trying to help yourself. but if you cross me or I see your no longer pitching in and I tell you to lose my number, I am done, it is like I never even knew you. I was talking to Arianna the other day, and it is like I have this switch. This switch controls my feelings and I have the ability to turn it on and off, without a thought.  Then if your in my circle which is very very small, you have a friend for life and you know you have someone you can always depend on.

So maybe I was never a Sadist at all, maybe that is the only thing I knew, after all that is what I was being taught, so after we split I myself had to go through some reprogramming myself, I had to put much of what I learned in the trash, but I had to retain some of it to move forward. Remember at this time even after seven years I still knew nothing about control, all I knew was pure sadistic pain, humiliation. It was not until after I hooked up with a mentor an older Dominant who gave me a different perspective on the lifestyle , he showed me there was more to a BDSM relationship that just using and abusing. He also explained that the type of relationship I needed, notice I said needed was going to be really hard to find..

I believe if you tell me your a slave then your a slave. A slave has no rights, a slave has no say, or even an opinion unless I ask. Although now that I have grown the last two are still there but I do listen and I do communicate. When I explain something or when I was giving out rules and protocols, I explained them so well that there were no questions.

Something had come up from Arianna’s past that needed attention. I explained I would fix it. Now during the process I did not communicate that much, mainly because I was putting a plan together, a fail safe plan, a plan I knew would work without a chance of not working. It will be fixed everything is already in motion.

That is what we as Doms do that is what we as Daddy’s do, Masters do. We take care of our home, we take care of our property. The Submissive, the Baby Girl or the Slave gives so much, emotionally and physically , and mentally it is our duty to make things as stress free for them as we can. If you have a problem that comes up you step in and fix it right then.

I met a man a couple of years ago who was out of work, him and his family had to leave there home, it had been foreclosed on. He had already exhausted his unemployment and his wife was the only one working. I said why don’t you go to work at Burger King or Mcdonalds ? He said he refused to work for that kind of money, he was not going to lower himself like that. He lowered himself enough to let all his friends see the cops move him out, he lowered himself enough so everyone could see their stuff being sit on the curb. So in the end his priority was his pride and not his family. He cared more about what people thought of him and he cared about his family.

I would of never allowed such a thing. With my ex-wife and this is one reason she is my ex. Every week I would hand over my check, and she just blew it her and her son, not my son hers from a previous relationship. On a monday she came up to me and said the house was going on the auction block on friday , I was like what the fuck are you talking about.

Tuesday I jumped in my fiat drove 150 miles, walked in like I owned the place, and four hours later I walked out with our first payment being due in 60 days. I fixed it, I made everything alright, that is what we do. I refused to take no for an answer

I do not think I was ever truly a sadist, I believe that was a stepping stone into my world. My kingdom, my house, my rules, my slave, my bitch.

At the time I was seeing sherrie though I can see where at times it was a release for me as far as inflicting pain, sometimes I needed that place of darkness, sometimes I needed to see the hurt in her eyes, although she never shed a tear, I could clearly see the pain.

Control, I mean real control is the same in some ways, being in total control to the point someone fully depends on you, that now is my release, that now is my need. As long as I keep my word, and do what I say I am going to do, things will continue to get better.

We just like anyone else in a D’s relationship or even a vanilla relationship we get into a rut at times, because the bondage is not there, the kink is not there due mainly to work, but the control factor is still fully in place, and I keep everything in place by being consistent on a daily basis.

You Doms or Daddy’s or Masters listen up consistency will make or break your relationship. If you put rules in place, you need to insure they are followed. I am not talking about just sitting around and waiting on the girl to break a rule, but if a rule is broken, then you punish, and you explain why you are punishing , and what the two of you are going to do to fix it. If rules are broken and there are no consequences then why relationship do you really have.

If your in the lifestyle just for sex, a cock sucker is easy to find, a piece of ass is easy to find. To take someone and play or toy with their feelings or emotions is wrong, and in the end you will get yours. If you just want to fuck then say so. You do not have to put of a Big Bad Dom show to get some pussy

If I just wanted to get laid, I would go to a club sit down order a coke or tea I never go out and drink. I would look around pick someone out who struck my interest. I watched and observed, then I walked up and started a conversation. During our conversation I made it clear at some point I was not looking for anything long term, just speaking in general conversation. Get in the car take her home and fuck until I wanted no more send her on her way, and as she was walking out I was deleting her phone number

What I am getting at, I did not turn any ones life upside down, I did not make promises, I stated what I was not looking for, and what I was not looking for. Okay maybe I played on her feelings some, maybe I was the shoulder she needed, but I made it clear what my intentions were.

What some of you guys do for some pussy is way to much work, even more so if your married, having to live that double life, sneaking around. It is not worth it.

If your married and you have to cheat move on. Why drag your family through your little fantasies , why drag your wife and children through your mess, it is not her fault you cant run the home, its not her fault you have no control.

If you are married and your in the lifestyle and cheating, it is your responsibility to take care of your submissive, baby girl or slave, that includes any bills, or rent, and food. When you made a promise to take care of her, you took on that responsibility, if you cannot do any of the above, you need to stay home with momma.

If your in control you as a Dominant can have pretty much anything you want out of a relationship. If you stand by your word, the limits that your submissive had, your baby girl, will soon be forgotten , you can have anything you want.

I look back over the years and I think did you really do that stuff,and I think now if I had it all to do over again and I knew then what I know now I would of taking a much different path.

While my life may not be picture perfect to most, it is as close as you will get to living a true M’s relationship. Well maybe in my world it is perfect.




If Your With The Wrong Dominant

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, communication, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Drama, Finding the right Dominant, In Search Of A Master, problems, slave, submissive on March 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Finding the right Dominant or Master very important. Finding the one you click with, the one who has the same needs as well as the same kinks.

The one thing for sure is finding a Dom who is in control of his life and his surroundings . If he cannot control the simple things in life, then how can he control a submissive, slave or Baby girl.

Then you have the Doms with serious anger issues these are ego driven, again they are not in control, but they are controlling you, and you will take what ever is handed out. Either not knowing any better or your just happy to be with someone.

I believe a Dominant just as a submissive can adapt in most situations, I know myself If I truly care about someone I can adapt some, but I am not going to give up my needs to please someone else. Lets say an adult baby, that is not something I would want to be a part of. That is their need, their kink, but there are Doms out there that prefer adult baby’s.

If a Dominant lets say met someone who was a slave but he was looking for a submissive, but he found out they had more in common then he would be willing to adapt, change up his game a little, a baby girl the same. This goes more towards a Dom who has been in the lifestyle for sometime.

If your looking for a Dom or Master and you meet one, your main question should be. What can you do for me ? What do you have to offer? How are you going to help me ?

Before moving into any type of relationship it is very important to find out your new Doms temperament. If a Dominant or Master tells you he has been in the lifestyle for lets say 10 years but he has anger issues, the truth is probably less than a year. Being in the lifestyle for even 5 years allows a good Dominant to grow. I know myself it took me well over 5 years maybe a little longer before I was able to control what I would call my anger issues. It also took me sometime to realize that I was taking on a huge responsibility, because the mistakes you make effects the submissive your with.

Every Dominant is different, every Daddy Dom is different, as with every Master. We all fall under a different category , we all expect different things from ours, we all have different needs, and wants.

If you are a submissive , Baby Girl or a Slave you have a pretty good feeling to what your looking for. If not you need to sit down and think. Think about how you can see yourself living everyday as the submissive you need to be, what you want out of life and out of a relationship. What kind of rules you need to keep you structured.

A Dominant should have goals in life, he should have high standards  he should have high expectations in life, he should have the need to excel in life. If you have a Dominant who jumps from  submissive to submissive then something is very wrong. This is something you need to question. If you are getting the blame game then chances are he is the one to blame.

If your a Submissive then find a Dominant that fits you. Remember you are the one who makes the decision to enter a relationship. The same with a Baby girl find the daddy that fits you as well as with the slave. Each of us are unique and very much different.

If you are with the wrong Dominant you will never be able to excel in life, you will never have that feeling of being complete.

If you are going to lay on your back and spread your legs, or your going to get on your knees and suck cock, then make sure it is with someone who is going to take care of you and your needs. If your not getting everything you need, why would you give yourself ? Why would you allow yourself to be used ?

Your limits are things you feel strongly about, although some will be pushed it is very important to find the one who will respect what limits you have in place. If you tell a Dom that anal sex if off limits, and he pauses and says that is fine with me but deep down its not, down the road it will come up again, because you have something he wants and you said no.

If your not a Masochist why would you hook up with a sadist, or if your a masochist why would you hook up with a Dom who is not a sadist. In real life there are very few sadist who are Doms, and very few masochist who are submissive.

I know a Daddy Dom who moved in with a Masochist Baby Girl, he was not a sadist and he felt guilty doing some of the things she needed. It did not work that was not the only factor, but that would of been the killer.

I have stressed many times it is very important to get to know someone before entering a relationship. Make sure your both on the same page

You have spent time finding the right Dom , or Master, and your willing to do just about anything to make it work. Well the same goes for him. You should make sure he is ready to enter a relationship. He should be problem free, drama free, no problems with ex’s because if he as any of these things going on, how can he possibly control you, how could this be fair to you. Why you you be brought into all of his problems, his fucked up world.

In your search you may meet several before you find the right one, or you may meet several and decide the first or second one is the one for you. If you ask questions and your not getting the answers you think you should be getting then get up and walk out you owe him nothing.

Image I love this pic


The Young Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, anger, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, blow job, communication, controlling, Depressed, Depression, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, fetlife, Manipulation, Master, Master And Slave, problems, Safe and Sane, slave, submissive, Young Dominant on February 13, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I talked about this before, I went to a Munch a couple of years ago. It was in a pizza restaurant. I asked the hostess where the group was meeting and she walked me to a conference room. I was met at the door by what looked like a guy who was maybe twenty years old. He told me I was not welcome because I was over 35.

I stated I had just seem him at our Munch the month before. He said our Munch was not age restricted. So as I was putting my hair in a pony tail. I just said fine and turned around and walked out.  WOW .

I am going to cover a few things here when it comes to younger Dominants and older, and problems that you subsmissives and slaves should stay away from.

I know in my twenty’s I had anger issues. I was barely able to really control my life. The only thing that kelp me straight was the fact I was in the army at the age of 17. So I had to grow up fast.

My interest in BDSM came to me while stationed in Korea. I had just turned 18. Even before that I knew I was different when it came to being with a woman. I had always enjoyed rough sex, bondage, pulling hair and spanking. I remember the first girl I fisted her name was Beverly. I was still in high school. That was really a trip to be fucking her with my arm. Then when I pulled out she squirted.

At the age of eighteen , twenty, twenty five, thirty , although I considered myself to be a Dominant. I was still far from being in control. I still had anger issues.

You take a younger submissive, and a Dom with anger issues, the submissive really does not know the difference. The younger submissive thinks that is what the lifestyle is about. At times I have even seen it get physical.

If your a Dominant and you argue with your submissive, scream and yell. Just who is the Bitch in the relationship now? When in fact the submissive is looking for someone who is stable, someone in full control, someone with structure, someone who care share their life experiences. Someone who is responsible. At the age of twenty this guy turns me away. I did not get angry, I was just in shock. It is not like I was going to try and run the show. I was just more less interested. I cannot go to their munch but their welcome at hours.

We as Dominants have to be able to maintain control, be it at home, out with friends, or at work. Okay work I am not so good at, I have lost my temper and the world knew it. For a Slave to see her Master out of control, I am guessing that would give her a much different outlook on their relationship.

Here in a few I am going to post a thread I found on Fetlife. a 24 year old Dominant. I have contacted him to let him know he was going to be my main topic today

Another Dominant to avoid is one who suffers from depression. If he cannot control his own life, how in the world can he control someone else. Someone who suffers from depression that is not their fault. In most cases they have no control over their depression.

We as Dominant are suppose to be in full control, we are looked up to. We are suppose to be there for support.

Many who are submissive or Saves suffer from depression, Arianna is one. So I have to take great care when it comes to her submission. I know how far I can push her. I know her limits, and I would never cross them. Not because I cant, because I care.

So a twenty year old submissive is caught in a catch 22. She does not like older men, but she is being abused by a 22 year old who calls himself a Master

I have always encouraged those who were younger, to try and find an older Dominant, so that you could experience the real side of BDSM.

I am not saying all Young Dominants are this way, but we know women mature much faster than men do. Dam did I just say that. Even at 51 my childish thoughts still come out. The difference being I can control my emotions.

If you scream and yell at your partner, your really fucked up. If you fight with your submissive or slave your really fucked up. If you argue with your submissive or lose your temper. Who is the Bitch then ?

I have talked to younger Dominants in their twenty’s and it was like I was trying to blow smoke up their ass. There was nothing I could tell them because they already knew everything.

I enjoy teaching those who are younger , sharing my life experiences. The truth is very few even want to listen. Even when those who are older ask me how I maintain my relationship, there like man fuck that. That is way to much work.

When in fact it is really no work at all. The first couple of months in-tells a little work because your implementing your plan.Your laying down the ground work, on how you want your house ran. Your laying out your protocols , your rules. What is expected. Then you have to remain consistent.

It is the Slave who has to do all the work, they have to adapt to your way. They have to give up control, and follow, but they are not going to follow some dumb ass, and they will put up resistance.  Resistance causes anger, it causes the younger Dominant to lose control, he will lose his temper.

If a slave is putting up resistance, then it is something the Dominant is doing or not doing. If you lead they will follow. If your pulling a Custer’s Last Stand guess what most will not go down with you.

If a Submissive or Slave argues with you, it is your fault, you are the one fucking up not them. It is you the Dominant who is not thinking clear.

Asking advice. Most Dominants will not ask advice because they already know everything. Well you don’t know everything because if you did you would not be going through all the hell your going through.

The lifestyle is about consent, the lifestyle is about being safe and sane.

I am against any type of abuse be it physical or verbal, even mental abuse. Playing that fucking pity me card. No one cares about me, well if you think that your probably right. You as the Dominant should be able to lead. You are followed by your actions public and private. If your a total dumb ass no one is going to follow you.

So I was reading this thread on Fetlife and a young Dominant was asking a question about permission. If he needed permission to touch someone. This is his train of thought

Here it is. I would like different opinions on this subject. I am not going to post his profile but check it out.


Asking a sub permission?


by Budday 2 days ago


I’ve been into the lifestyle for a long while but I’ll admit I’ve had my moments where I went back an forth with being involved in it. I’ve flirted with unown subs a lot before when I’m subless and always given a bit of dominance to a point where I’m not leading it to sex or anything. Like pulling, ass spanking, hair grabbing, small things and it was never a problem before, in fact I’ve had it help actually grab a sub’s attention and like me for it.


Although lately; I’ve been having moments where an unown sub would get upset and apparently tell me I didn’t ask for permission or that’s not an OK thing for a Dom to do with out owning her. Each time I question; “What? When was there ever a rule to how to flirt with an unown sub?” It’ll also happen at times when something has been done to make it seem like it would have naturally been ok. Like spank her ass and been ok with it but suddenly a gentle pull on her wrist to bring her close is not ok. . .



Now this is his train of thought and he is 24 years old. He has been in the lifestyle a very long time.



Lastly if you are a Dominant and you have anger issues, you need to either fix yourself, get help, or just drop out of the lifestyle. There is no room at all for abuse.


Being a Dominant is not about getting your cock sucked, or fucking someone up the ass because your wife wont allow you to.



If your not sure what role a Dominant plays, or what his demeanor is suppose to be google it, make google your best friend. Hook up with other Doms in the local community.



#1 A Dominant is always HONEST


#2 A real Dominant will listen


#3 A real Dominant has no anger issues.


# 4 A real Dominant will not expect you to suck cock on the first meeting


#5  Beware of a Dominant when he says he suffers from depression. How can


he take care of you when he cant take care of himself.


#6  A job


#7  His own place.


#8 One of the most important things. He takes you to his own house. If he will not take


you to his house, or tell you where he lives, he is married.


#9 You the submissive put your foot down when you first meet, you do not know this guy


from jack, you owe him nothing, notta. You tell him the first sign of any anger or abuse you


are gone. You will vanish like a bad cold.


#10 Your sessions are only in his car. I had a friend tell me not long ago, when she was seeing a Dominant


they would only play in his car. You can guess why I am sure.



It is you the submissive that is giving, the Dominant is taking. If your going to submit, and lay on your back


why not do it with someone who truly cares for you. Someone who is going to be there for you, someone


who appreciates you, someone who is going to give in return.



I am not sure what happens but you meet this Dom, and you get stupid. You sit there with your eyes down, because


you have been told no eye contact before you even meet. Once you agree to that, you have already submitted. He has you right


where he wants you.


When he tells you I want you to wear a short skirt no panties and you comply, you have submitted to a man you don’t even know.


If your just going out to eat, what does it matter what you wear?



If I was just going to use someone this is me. and I knew there was not a chance in hell of me hooking up with them in a long term relationship . I would tell them short skirt no panties. I wanted some pussy that’s all.


If I told the sub no eye contact when we meet, I knew I had her, I was getting my nob polished I knew that.



If you say no to anything, and he gets mad guess what he is not the only dude in the world.



We all have to start somewhere when it comes to the lifestyle, but if your looking into a new career and your applying for jobs, most of the time you will hear we are looking for someone with more experience  Even fresh out of school, you hear the same thing. need more experience.


I went through the same thing before I found my first slave and she was willing to teach me. The key word TEACH.


Truth be told it took me almost a year to find my first slave. Most I contacted knew I was new and had no experience.



Why would you trust someone who has no experience? Why would you trust someone who has no life experience ? Most still have major anger issues.



I am not putting you guys down in no way, I was there once, but like me and your the same I was in it for the pussy, the head, I could do anything I wanted to, and I got away with it.



Those who I contacted that had been in the lifestyle for any amount of time would not give me the time of day. I was a waste of their time because they knew for one I did not have a clue , and I was not in it for the long haul.



As with any career it takes time to grow to the top, it does not happen over night.



The example above says it all, look at his profile, look at other profiles around the same age… You will see as always I am right.  Okay maybe not always.












Your Submissive Or Slave Is Not Compliant

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Advice, anal sex, and Respect, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, Change, codependent, Collar, Collared Slave, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominants, Drama, emotional, Emotions, Fake Slaves, Fake submissive, fucking, Honesty, Humiliation, Kink, kinky, Master, needy, problems, punish, Punishment, Respect, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive Brat, sucking cock, sucking dick, Train your slave, training your slave, Your Submissive Or Slave Is Not Compliant on December 6, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This happens all the time, I also here this all the time. The last was maybe I am not the Master for her or she needs more and I cannot give more.

Every Submissive is different , every Slave is different. Their minds, their thoughts , their needs, their actions. Each has a different level of needs. Some are real emotional , some are very needy, some become fully dependent on their Master, while others function very well outside of the home. Some need 24 hour care while some do not. Some need stricter rules, guidelines, protocols, while others do not.

Some act bratty , while most are very docile. Most are very quite and some are very out spoken.  Most are very Compliant , while some need a little more work.

Men who do not have a clue think owning a slave is about her sucking cock or just spreading her legs. Tying the slave up and just beating her ass until she cannot walk, and to a new submissive or slave these actions are exceptable. no questions asked until they start talking to other slave.

The key is getting to know the slave, knowing them as a person not just in the lifestyle. Knowing about their interest, hobby’s, the movies they enjoy, music. The foods they like. The Dominant should know the slave inside out.

Once this is achieved then you move on to different levels speaking about the lifestyle, a week or maybe more may of gone by before you should get into the kinks.

Let me tell you something, if you meet someone on line and after 20 minutes or so it turns to sex, he wants one thing and one thing only. That is your mouth or what is between your legs, and nothing more. The New Dom may hang on to you for eh 3 months 6 months but he will grow tired of you pretty fast. You will find out you will spend 90% of your time on your knees sucking dick, another 5% texting, and the other 5% being ignored

When another Dominant complains about how his slave is not compliant I just shake my head. If this is the case his game plan was way off from the start.

What rules you gave your last slave may not be the rules your new slave needs, or guideline as well as protocols. That is why it is very important to get to know your slave as a person , you have to become best friends. Because you are about to enter uncharted waters.

We as Dominants are looked up to, we are suppose to be leaders, we guide we share tons of information, but most we have to earn and gain the trust of the slave. We as Dominants should be able to adapt to most situations. Sometimes we may have to bend a little if we think a slave may be compatible in most areas that interest us.

The Slave will adapt to their new home, and most will adapt freely without question. We need to only provide a few things. Honesty , be truthful, teach and train , communication, and security. The slave will adapt.

Rules are put into place for improvement, rules are for the betterment of the slave. If more than half of your rules as a slave are about sex, what is it you are getting out of it ? How is you must worship my cock for the betterment of you ?

It is not that the slave is not compliant, the Dominant did not go into the relations with the right game plan, by the time you start to argue, yell call each other names it is way to late. You the Dominant has lost the game, pick up your duffel bag and move on.

You also hear it is the slaves fault , that bitch would not listen, I had no control over her. Ha that one word CONTROL I had no control over her. Now whose fault is that, certainly not the slaves, who was in charge? Who was the leader the Slave?

Another factor is if a slave enters a new relationship but she is afraid to end it, she will do things just to upset the dom, not follow rules back talk, act up, until the Dom has taken all he can. Still the slave is not to blame. I do suppose some could be just total bitches and give you a run for your money, push your buttons to see how far they can go. It is still up to the Dominant to remain in control, and stay in control.

If you have a bad temper, you scream, yell degrade when angry , how does that look to your slave. After all when you first met you painted a picture of total bliss, an island of peace, a paradise.

Some Slaves want to be broking , taken down to the lowest level of life and brought back up. I can tell you 10 years ago I may have been up to such a task but today nah not a chance. Before I met Arianna I was posed that question. I want you to break me. That is a great deal of responsibility  and I was not up to the task nor did I want to.

So when I hear the words I cannot control my slave or she is not compliant, I start asking questions, I get the same old answers, she is not real, she is just into head games , she is a joke to the lifestyle. Well it is not the slaves fault.

You the Dominants needs to be in control from the minute you speak your first words. You the Dominant sets the pace, you set the rules.

You cannot meet a slave on the first date and give her the almighty 128 rules and a collar. I see some old Doms using the 128 rules that some kid wrote 25 years ago, You must worship my cock, PLEASE.

Let me tell you something Arianna has 25 rules, she adds little things to her list frequently not rules but task. Every night when she ask permission to enter the bed she reads her rules then we talk, we talk about anything and everything. Last night was different we were laying in bed and I asked her what was on her mind. She said I thought we would go over the rules together, I looked kinda of confused and she handed me her phone, that is where her rules are. I said the first word of a rule and she was able to speak the whole rule without reading, and I just went down the line.

I have never told her she had to remember each one but to look at as a reference to read daily. That is how much she truly cares 25 rules recited almost word for word. Some of the rules are a paragraph long. In the rules I gave I explained everyone, I went into great detail about each rule, and she could recite each and everyone. I was in total shock, but I was proud.

If your Slave or Submissive is not compliant, look at your game.

Image I love this pic


Being A Slave Is Hard Or Is It ?

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Argue, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Bipolar, Bond, Breaking Rules, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, dress, emotional, ethics, Fear, Giving Head, Health, Honesty, inhibitions, Lie, Lies, Master, men begging, Molding, molding your slave, No Inhibitions, No Panties, No Rights, oral, oral sex, Patience, Private Protocol, problems, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, serve, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Task, Total Slavery, TPE on September 25, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who wake with an unknown feeling, a feeling of not being complete, they are not sure where these feelings arrived from or where their thoughts came from. They begin to do a lot of research in hopes of finding answers. Then they stumble across a BDSM site or erotic stories, and things become more clearer.

Then the search Dominant after Dominant until they find the right fit , the right connection, or after being played a couple of times.

I would imagine that giving up 100% of freedom could be a scary thought. Being told what to do, how to act, how to dress, how to speak, what to eat or cook, when to bath, when to go to bed, and then being punished for breaking a rule.

To go from your boyfriend begging for sex or begging to get his dick sucked, to someone just telling you to spread, or get on your knees. Maybe anal sex was off limits now there is no choice, you do it because your now owned.

These are big changes, these are huge changes.  These are changes you never would of even thought off until a year ago, or maybe they have been thoughts for a long time but you had no idea on how to put things into place.

It is not that the changes are difficult, scary yes difficult no. It is how you are brought through these changes, what actions are taking to get you to the point of where you need to be. I can tell you it is probably harder if not almost impossible if you know you are not truly cared for. Eh it works for a short period of time, but when reality hits you and you discover this dude is a piece of shit, you pack up move on and begin your search again, and maybe again, and again until you get it right.

Two key words come to mind, resistance and consistency. Almost every Slave will put some or a lot of resistance when it comes to submitting. It is not that they do not want to, they are scared and they have every right to be.

Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

I have seen this time and time again, when it happens it is always the Bitches fault, yea she was a bad submissive, or a bad slave she would not listen or follow rules. Just listen to that last statement. Who’s fault is that now? The blame always goes on the Bitch. No it could never be me I am the almighty Master. It was not long ago I told a Dom he was a piece of shit and he should rethink his place within the lifestyle. We had a couple over for dinner not long ago when they left I told Arianna what the out come of their relationship would be, sure enough they are no longer together.

Be it a Submissive or Slave, we have to be able to get into their heads, we have to know what makes them think, their thought process, and I can tell you if your not true or you do not care it will not happen. Just look at the time you have wasted just because you wanted some pussy.

Resistance equals consistent one giving equals one caring, you cannot just take or demand. You as the Dominant has to earn every step you take. Respect you have to earn it is not something we can demand.

Most who are submissive or a slave are on some type of medication, why is this? I do not have a fucking clue, most who are a Submissive or Slave suffers some type of depression maybe Bi-Polar? Why is this again I do not have a fucking clue.  So we as Dominants cannot just step in balls to the wall, we have to put a plan together because we do not want to bring any harm to ours. Yea okay I look over some things nothing major but I do not just sit around hoping Arianna will break a rule, as a matter of fact she will do everything in her power not to break a rule. I set that Ass on fire one time and that is all it took.

We can never figure out why someone is depressed if you try your just wasting time. So instead we work with them, we try to somewhat understand but we will never fully. Go to doctors appointments with them study their medication. Most of all we do not want to push them over the cliff. I had a counselor tell me not long ago that she agreed with our lifestyle, and the way our home was ran was beneficial  to Arianna, and almost a year it has worked well, we have had a few ups and downs but more ups I can assure you.

Starting a new relationship the Submissive / Slave has a wall in place. What we have to do is take it down one brick at a time, while this is on going we are still hitting this resistance button , the reason that button is still there is the lack of trust. While most would like trust is not built over night. So again the same words, Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

If you cannot control your Submissive or Slave Don’t put the blame on them, it was not them who failed it was us who failed them. We gave them false statements, we led them to believe something that was not true.

If you fail at communication, it is pretty much over. Most of the time a Slave will not volunteer and information, so we have to be willing to spend the time to communicate, if you really care this comes natural. Set aside 15 minutes a day so you can just sit and talk. Hold conversation over dinner, while driving. Communication is the main key, if your going to wait for them to spill their guts guess what? It will never happen.

There has to be an astronomical amount of fear when a Slave enters a relationship, they have no idea what to expect, more so if it is their first relationship. That is why you need a plan , and you need a back up plan, and another back up plan.

I was lucky when I met Arianna the resistance level was almost zero, even so I knew I had to stay consistent. The first ninety days is the tell , tell of everything. It will tell the slave if they are truly a slave and it will tell the slave if the Dominant is real.

Asking to sit at the Dinner table, not taking a bite of food before I do. Kneeling at the door when I return from work. anticipating my needs, kneeling in the bathroom while I shower, it goes on and on, but again the key word is consistency.

Rules some just fucking kill me, Rule one you must worship my cock. Rule 2 you must masturbate every night before bed while we are talking on the phone. Rule 3 you must send me nude pics everyday. Rule 4 you will never wear panties in my presence. You have seen and heard these rules. Rules are meant to be beneficial to a slave. We take old habits and make new positive ones. Yea some do call it training I have before, I like the word molding. We are molding someone to fit our needs, or training. We are taking someones life and turning it inside out. We are taking someone who once had a resistance factor and taking the word NO or i cant out of their vocabulary. Again this all comes with being consistent and in control.

The bottom line is, if we remain who we say we are, if we prove who we say we are, if we put ours first no matter what, if we take care of ours, if we do not abuse with a bunch of worthless rules, if we remain true and yes consistent then there is only resistance for a short time.

The Slave already knows who and what they are, they already know who they want to be, we just have to take one brick down at a time, brush our hands off and take their hand and walk with them.

We as a Master are expected to live by certain standards we have a creed we must follow, we must always be truthful when speaking. We must earn what we get.

The rewards for both are just amazing, it can be the most loving relationship you have ever known. The Master will want for nothing at all. The out come is what you make of it.



A Comment Arianna Made On Fetlife

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, communication, Consensual, Conversation, Dominants, Ego, fetlife, married, Master, Masters, problems, Punishment, Respect, Rules, Security, slave, submissive, Trust on September 2, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I do run a very strict home, Arianna does not really see it that way because she has adapted so well over the past year.  I hear a lot of Dominants talk about the time it takes a new slave to adjust to a new home, 30 to 90 days. While I disagree to each their own.

What makes the BDSM lifestyle so great is we are all different, we all come from different backgrounds , we all have different needs and kinks. Most of all we all have our own opinions on how a house should be ran, or how we train our property. We all have different needs ,wants and expectations when it comes to our property.

When I first met Arianna her life was in total shambles, she had made some bad decisions. It did not make her a bad person, I am thinking she was looking for acceptance than anything else. We all make mistakes, but the only bad mistake is the ones we do over expecting different results.

My rules are not sexually based, my rules were meant to take old habits away and replace with good ones. As I have stated before the key is consistency. If you say something you mean it and you stick with your word. I cannot be a Dominant part time, nor can I take a day off.

Before entering a micromanaged relationship I had to give it much thought, was this the type of relationship I wanted? Did I really want to devote that much time? Did I really want that kind of responsibility ? I would like to say after a year things are running very smooth. We have no stress in our life, we have no drama in our life. We have no problems in our life, things are good.

Every morning Arianna makes a list for her daily activities, with the exception of being at work. I look the list over and if I think it is to much I veto some of her task. The last thing I want to do is put to much on her shoulders. I have set things up so she can move forward in life and excel. Putting to much on her would set her up for failure, and that is not my intentions.

When I started my venture looking for a slave and partner, I was looking for just that. I was not looking for a mother figure, I was not looking for a house keeper, nor was I looking for a cook, as a matter of fact I enjoy cooking.

Arianna and I both work full time she works 40 hours a week, I put in about 55 hours a week so she does do a lot of cooking, when I am off I love firing up the grill.

There is a group on Fetlife called Slave Home. I am not on fetlife often but I do get on from time to time then I see where Arianna has made a post. I do not have any of her passwords, I believe we should have some privacy. I do trust her, so I am not looking behind her back to see what she has been up to.  I believe those who demand passwords are insecure, and ego driven, if you cannot trust the one your with, then why be with them? After all Trust is very important in our lifestyle.

The question on Fetlife was do you as a slave have a daily routine.

VilesArianna: 1 day ago | report

I have daily tasks that enable my Master to relax and know that they will get done. For example, coffee is prepped every night so that He only has to push the button. Animals are taken care of and every night I make Him a mug of ice water and put it next to the bed. I have no set days for shopping and cleaning. It all depends on how my day goes at work. Each morning Master and I go over a list of potential things to do. I’m not punished if I don’t get to it all. I’m usually over zealous about the amount of work I plan to do. We both work outside the home full time and we both pick up after ourselves although I do most of the cooking and cleaning, Master does not have a problem chipping in. But routine yes, I believe I have routine. On a daily and weekly basis. I do enjoy making my Masters life easy and stress free.

Arianna is allowed free time, she does not watch much TV so most of the time it is just relaxing listening to music or reading E-books. She is not allowed to sit on the furniture without permission, but when asked most of the time I do allow. This is part of limiting her space within the home. Ahh before you go crazy this was per her request. So no I am not a total dick.

It makes me feel good when I read post such as this, she is correct she does do much of the cooking and a fine cook she is. I do not expect a three course meal, the truth is I am very easy to please when it comes to eating. As she stated I do pick up behind myself, again I was not looking for a maid.



Total Slavery 101

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, anger, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Session, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, blow job, Bondage, communication, Consensual, control, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Discipline, Dominants, events, Ex wife, Fetish, Floggers, Giving Head, Humiliation, Kink, kinky, masochist, Master, Masters, Mentor, Micromanagement, molding your slave, No Inhibitions, No Rights, oral, owning a slave, Pain, Pony Girl, pony play, problems, punish, Punishment, Rules, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, Self-Discipline, session, sex, slave, Spanking, stupid, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Total Slavery, TPE, training your slave, Verbal abuse, Viles House on August 14, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

A Slave is not dumb, a Slave is not weak, a Slave is just like any other with different needs and desires.

Looking back I am not as strict as I once was. I am not as harsh, nor am I any longer into the pain.

Before I met Arianna I had been asked several times to play by different Masochist, and I did give it some great thought but I had to pass. It was just not me any longer, I no longer had to desire or the need to inflict pain. There are times when my mind wonders  about the relationship I had with Sherri, and I think man what the fuck were you thinking. How could you of done some of the things you did? At that point in my life what made me tick?

The willingness to give, maybe the pain in her eyes, and she never showed one tear. With the cracking of the single tail whip, the twelve pound flogger with BB’S on the end. Speculum’s in both holes at the same time, double fisting, forcing her to eat pussy, or blow some stranger, and things I do not wish to share at this time.

She was my first real slave my first and only true masochist, I gained great knowledge from her, but it was a relationship I knew would not last. Almost seven years and I never once fucked her, not sure why there was just something about her, I was not attracted to her in that way. She did suck a lot of cock though daily.

It took me a long time to realize that not every slave or submissive was a masochist, many thought I was abusive, which is far from the truth. Then I began meeting other Doms, and finely an awesome mentor. Then and only then did I learn the difference. The caring part I had to learn on my own.

As we grow older we have the need for more, we need something deeper, and real. The control is the main factor. I am not sure what makes me tick, but I spent way to much time trying to figure it out. I am me and I will never change.

Today while I am strict, I am also fair. I do not change rules to fit my needs. I try to talk through mistakes, because beating is not always the answer. Many are to quick about grabbing a belt or a whip, as a way to correct. Many times a good verbal scolding works much better

BDSM has many different levels that is why it is so easy to find the place we belong, any kink you can think of is out there, and chances are someone shares that same kink with you, but as in any relationship it has to be a give and take.

A slave has no rights, none. A slave gives everything in hopes they will not be abused or misguided. There is no second guessing, even if the owner is wrong. If we as Dominants make a mistake we have to fix it. I myself fix problems before they become problems. We Arianna and I have zero stress in our life. There is no drama between my ex-wife and I none. We even had her over for dinner last week.

You enter a relationship as Master and Slave. I will state I made no demands on what Arianna would call me. She asked if she could call me Master, at times she calls me her Owner

Over a period of a month maybe a little longer, I controlled every movement Arianna made. Bathroom, eating and what to eat, how to dress, walk, talk, what time to go to bed, what time to get up, and yes I controlled her money. I will say this, Arianna does contribute to the house, but I do not take her hard earned money, I stated that I controlled what she spent.

The training was not purely sexual, most of the training consisted of conversation, communication. Teaching her my way, my rules and yes my protocols.

It was exactly two months into our relationship, I invited a M’s couple out to dinner. This was Arianna’s first test, on protocol and etiquette. She passed with flying colors. My friends loved her. Shortly after that I invited an M’s couple over to the house and Arianna would be the host for the evening, again she passed, and the couple loved her, the slave really really loved her. Four months into our relationship we met a Domme for dinner it was her Birthday, again the Domme was very impressed with how Arianna carried herself. at that time we began to attend local events, munchs and MAST meetings. MAST Masters and Slaves Together, a great bunch of people, again Arianna was awesome, when someone did not understand what I was saying I allowed her to step in.

To fully control someone is a huge huge task, a task not many understand or wish to understand, nor is it a task that many want. With me it is a need, a deep craving. I do not even think of my wants, because all of my needs are met.

A short time ago I shared Ariannas rules with a few subs who followed me, the rules were not sexually based. Rules are meant to help. We as Dominants take ones bad habits and replace with good ones.

So think about this Arianna has no rights, no say, nor does she want. That is the key, she does not want, she is giving and she has the trust that I will not mislead or abuse the situation.  If a problem arises and when I take care of it 95% of the time Arianna does not even have a clue. Everything is on a need to know basis. Now if I ran across something I needed advice about, she would be the first and only one I would turn to, but so far that has not happened.

Every day when I arrive home, I walk through the door, Arianna is nude and kneeling. I did not ask for this nor did I require. She does it because she has the need. I walk into the kitchen to sit, my cold drink is in place waiting, she takes off my hat, pen, name tag, then shoes. Dinner is promptly put on the table. Arianna does not begin to eat until I have taking the first bite. Once finished with dinner, shower time. When I finish Arianna drys me off, my night clothes are laid out on the bed. Time to relax. Before bed a huge glass of ice water is placed on the table beside me. Once in bed we talk more about our day, I want to know whats on her mind, this is her time to talk about anything and everything that’s on her mind, her free time to express herself.

Okay I get anything I want without question, be it in everyday life, sexual, play time. When it comes to sex there are no limits, I just do not push her farther than she can go. There is no arguing, of any kind, although I do know at times I do get on her nerves, I just get the eye role she does not think I see.

There are really very few true submissives or slaves, and fewer real dominants. Once into a relationship most find it is not their cup of tea.

There are those who are quick to judge, because they either do not understand, or they believe the slave is weak, which is far from the truth. We judge what we do not understand. You would not want anyone to judge you would you?

Most other relationships I do not understand more so when it comes to a D’s type of relationship, but I do not judge, if it works for you then so be it. While I do find Pony Play interesting, I do not understand the concept, or what someone would get out of such a lifestyle, but it works for them, I am still not going to judge unless your pony takes a huge dump in my living room floor.

I keep an open mind when it comes to others, our kinks are all different, our needs, it would be much better if we could just all get long.