Archive for the Protocols Category

Rules And Training

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, cock sucking, codependent, Collar, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, training your slave on January 17, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I get emails from Submissive’s and Slaves asking me questions about training and rules. Meeting Doms for the first time.

You meet on a dating site you send messages back and forth and the Dom hounds you for your phone number until you give in.

The first questions are how long have you been in the lifestyle, you state you are new to the lifestyle but you want to learn. BOOM first mistake you are hooked. You start texting back and forth hes not really asking questions about you he is more interested in what you’re limits are , are you bi sexual ? Do you swallow ? Do you do anal ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Do you ever go without panties ? How often do you masturbate ?

So after being hounded you agree to meet because you are tired of the pressure. The place is classy probably a Denny’s in the corner . He has instructed you to wear a short skirt with no panties. You have second thoughts but agree after all you want to make a good impression. You are instructed certain time to text because the Dom is busy with work and works really crazy hours and when you do text most of the time it takes several hours to get a response or even a day or so.

When you meet the Dom still knows very little about you or you’re family and friends , what you enjoy doing in you’re spare time, music or food , just the kink side of things.

You are instructed not to make eye contact and you are told to address him as Sir. He does most of the talking mainly because you are afraid to ask any questions even though some of it does not sound right.

He spends a great deal of time just talking about himself , and bragging about everything he has done and ask very few questions about you.

Most likely hew ill pull out a collar he bought at Walmart or petco and throws it at you and you are now owned..

Now you’re training starts you walk out and get his car he unzips his pants and you are instructed to suck his cock. Keep in mind you have no clue who this dude really is, you have no clue where he lives because you do not have his address, you don’t even know where he works, and you are about to suck his dick.

You know in you’re mind this cannot possibly be right because you are seeking more but you will blow him just to please. These are guys who do not have a clue nor do they care about you or the out come.

The most difficult about training is being able to sit down and out a plan together. What worked with the last relationship will not work on the next. Every Slave or Submissive has a different personality , they have different needs and the out come of the training will be different.

You’re questions , why do you want to train me ? What is the end goal you have in mind ? What am I going to get out of you’re training ? What are you going to get out of training me ? Now this next question will stump a Dom who has no clue. What are you’re protocols public and private ? What type of structure will you provide? Do you have any Ex issues ? That is a huge biggie many Ex’s still have a hold on his belt. Am I going to come first ? Will I have 24/7 access to you ?

A few of the first questions a Dom will ask before even knowing you’re favorite color is are you Bi ? Are you poly ? Do you mind if I see other women ? What are you’re limits ? That is usually the first or second question believe it or not. Do you swallow ? Yes a lot of women do not. Do you like Anal sex? Everything is about sex and nothing about you.

To train you is to know you , You say you are a Slave but maybe you are not sure so there are questions that has to be asked and you have to be completely honest.

To train you is to know you , how you think , what makes you think the way you do, you’re habits , the likes , the dislikes what areas if any need improvement.

This should be you’re train of thought , although I have needs not wants but needs , my main purpose is to serve and please. The train of thought should be if my Dom is happy I am happy. Second you have to be sure you are getting the whole package.

There was a conversation about training but you enter the relationship and nothing changes. The only thing that has changed is he is barking out orders and he likes to beat you.  This is where communication comes in you should and have the right to ask questions, you have the right to get answers. If you ask a question and you get yelled and it happens on a regular basis then maybe you need to rethink you’re situation. Never I mean never let feelings get in the way of happiness that will fuck you up every time.

You have to be truthful from the start , if you tell the Dom you love being fucked up the ass and when it comes time and you freak out it will not be good. Honest you have to be honest and not honest just to please.

The Dominant has to be honest , once rules are giving out they are set in stone. Down the road a Dom may revisit the rules and maybe there is one he feels you  do not need any longer. Once rules are in place a Dominant will not change just because he wants to punish you. The truth is a Submissive or Slave will strive to be the best they can be. Mistakes do happen I know this and so do other Dominants.  If a Dominant has enough protocols in place very few rules are needed if any. Protocols are the driving force of structure.

When you first meet a Dominant you meet on you’re terms and you’re terms only , you can even go as far as picking the place somewhere on public. You pick what you are going to wear and how you will address him. Many will demand that you call them Sir. That right is earned after you have full respect for them and not until. Submission is earned not giving. Most Doms who have no clue will try to give you a collar. This shows the fuck is a total idiot and nothing more. The collar is picked up from a pet store or walmart and is just tossed across the table and you are told to put it on, you are now owned lets start you’re training.

I have had failed relationships some I did not care about others I lost sight of direction, or I was stumped and had no idea which way to go. I knew what I wanted and needed but had no idea how to get there. I could picture the type of relationship I wanted but was stuck in first gear. Most relationships at that time were just a matter of convenience. I had pussy on a daily basis and someone to suck my cock. I knew going in it would not last and would only be around until I got bored or she got to clingy.

A dominant is not born over night , it is not something you just wake up one morning and say hey I want a submissive. There is growth , the wisdom, learning to control the anger , and finding ways to divert the anger to funnel it out of your system. Learning words are far worse than being physical. Bruises go away words do not, not that I condone being physical no man should ever hit a woman out of anger.

Observation , asking questions , thousands of questions , Observing , learning , communication , learning how the submissive thinks learning what they think the way they do. Learning their habits , their needs, their wants. Tv , music, hobbies, reading the submissive like a book. Once you have that down you can begin their training. Training that will be effective , training that will benefit both.

You Guys , you Dominants , Masters you can have anything you want , you can have anything you need, you can have anything you have ever dreamed of, it just takes a little effort on your behalf. You have to be willing to put as much time into building the relationship as you want out of it. One thing you cannot take more than you give, if you do it will never work..

Good Info. http://bestslavetraining.com/

 

 

Some Do Not Like Me

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, commitment, communication, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Sucking and fucking, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 15, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

When you first meet me , you will probably think I am the most obnoxious man you have ever met, you will probably think I am rude, You will think I am loud and unbearable to be around , but if you take the time to get to know me you will find you cannot have a better friend.

My friend circle is very small , I do this mainly because it is really hard to find what you would call a true friend. It also keeps the drama down to zero.

My way is not anyone else’s way , my way works for me, although if you follow my blog I am sure you can take parts of it and put it to good use.

I have learned I cannot please everyone , what a ton of work, so I am me and only me you like me or you don’t .

Just because you do not like someone does not mean I will have the same feelings.

Master Johnny ignored her safe word during play , Master Johnny raped her, Master Johnny is very abusive. Now I am hearing this from a third-party. I am not hearing from the horse’s mouth, nor did I hear it from Master Johnny.

There are two sides to every story what I will do is speak with both parties ,  the slave or submissive first then I speak to Master Johnny. I am not going to take your word just because you do not like someone.

When I introduce myself I introduce myself as Vile the word Master is no where in our conversation. If you walk up to me and you introduce yourself as Master Johnny and your single , I will step back so I can allow your ego to expand.

Before I met arianna if someone was to ask me what my role was in the lifestyle I would say I am a Dominant. I suppose there are those who need the self title, the recognition , the need to feed your ego.

Arianna is my PR representative , she is now  fact checker like in the news. On the way to an event Arianna will say Master we are going to be in public, I acknowledge the fact then I ask why?  Then bringing up the last week coffee and I was talking about-face fucking, and ass fucking without lube. However she has said I have gotten much better over the years and I do not embarrass her as much as I did when we first met.. okay so I am out spoken I am me you like me or you do not. My fact checker when I say something. I just recently had surgery on my back and I ended up with about 20 stitches on the inside and 29 on the outside, but with me being male the numbers were much higher, so when I gave the numbers out everyone looked over at Arianna and she either nods in agreement or shakes her head.

I feel this is my world , I walk my own path , and it is me who has to live by choices and consequences. Yes In the outside world I have rules I have to follow and I walk a straight line. I am honest to a T , I am going to guess that is why everything always works out in my favor.

I speak my mind I say what others are thinking , however,  I will agree there are times I speak without thinking the comment out , at any rate,  I meant to say it.

i am not prejudiced when I look at people I see one color and one color only. What I am Prejudiced towards is stupid , those who know better but continue to fuck up. Those who work the system , those who want something for nothing , then they blame others when they fail. Then the system is working against them.

I am Prejudiced against the dominant who just use those who are submissive, those who have no goals or goals in life. Those who use and just toss aside without care. Instead of seeing the full picture they spend more time playing a game.

The fact is if you the Dominant wants to build a real relationship you can pretty much have anything you want. You sit back and just picture the relationship you want and be like Nike and just do it. You can implement rules , protocols I am huge on protocols. If you have enough protocols and rituals in place you need very few rules. Yes it does take work but the rewards are never-ending.

You can dress the way you want, you can teach how to talk , walk, sit , eat and act. You can teach the sub how to suck cock, even how you like to fuck. If you are a true leader they submissive will follow, if you get stupid you will spend your nights alone.

I very seldom show empathy , this goes back to the stupid thing , I just shake my head and walk away.

My ex just had a kidney transplant and was out of work for some time still not 100% but she is back to work. While out of work I increased my child support by about 60 dollars a week to help out. I also contacted people about helping refinance the house I lost. I contacted the state about some kind of assistance , and because my child support was not court ordered they state refused to help her even though I had bank statements proving I had been paying.

So I contacted a local radio station who does fund-raising for some , 104.1 based out of Orlando , Russ Rollings and Jim Phillips , I explained in detail what was happening and not one reply , how sad is that ? I sent not one email ,not two , not three but several. These are people who support the community.

So while my responsibility was not really mine I took steps I thought would help. I do not mind helping those in need , but I will not take away from my home. I will not do anything that would put Arianna second , never.

Next time you want to speak your mind do it , people will respect you much more..

 

 

 

 

 

Implementing Rules

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, Dominant and Submissive, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 3, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Over the years I have talked to hundreds or slaves and those who are submissive, most of the conversation has been about rules , who when , what and where?

You meet a new Dominant and after the meeting you have a long list of rules you must learn and remember word for word, you must be able to repeat them when asked , but the fact is the Dominant cannot do that. Why ask someone to do something if you cannot do it?

Knowing someone for an hour , a week or even a month there is no way someone could possibly implement any type of rules.

You have a Dominant then you have a Master these are clearly two different type of people. In most cases the Master is in a TPE relationship , Total Power Exchange while a D’s relationship the submissive has say in what happens and can say NO fuck you I am not doing it. A TPE relationship runs much deeper but in many ways both have the same responsibility. We are to take care of ours and we ensure our partner is on the right path. We set goals , we have a plan for self-improvement so the rules we put in place should be for the good.

Dominants and Masters are in theory Therapist  without PHD’s  but the difference is we can come up with a plan, a plan to guide someone in the right direction. A Therapist spends about 15 minutes in a session and tries to make decisions based on the information giving. Based on the information giving is based on the prescription giving, and I know from experience more often the information that is giving is not 100% honest. Most do not feel comfortable opening up their life to a complete stranger more so if you’re in the lifestyle. If you do not share your lifestyle there is no way anyone can possibly make the right decision.

When asked by a doctor about our home life I explain we have a very structured home, we have communication, no drama but most of all no arguing. Most catch on  to our lifestyle without me having to go into great detail. I go on to explain I take care of everything , I handle all problems we may face and at times I handle problems Arianna knows nothing about.

A great deal of those who are slaves and submissive suffer from some type of depression , some are even bi-polar. I did not say all so please do not put words in my mouth.

Many take medications many take more than one, so we need to know what type of medication and why? What is your medication suppose to do and what happens if you do not take it?

we have to know all of the above before we can even think about giving out any type of rules.

We have to know what makes them tick, why do they think the way they do, but most important what are they thinking at any giving moment. I know several times a day I ask Arianna what is on her mind, what is she thinking? Many times if you ask what is wrong it throws up a defense a wall goes up and the fight begins, when in actuality there may have been nothing wrong. This is the base of most arguments , fights screaming at each other. we say things to hurt each other, we use words we would not normally use. It takes longer for words to heal than it does a black eye, words are never forgotten.

A few things we tell a potential partner when we first meet them is always be honest , meaning always tell me the truth. Be open , communicate and always be loyal. We also state we will be there no matter what and we have their back when no one else will.

If we expect the above then why would a Slave not expect the same in return? Why should we be held to different standards ?

Submission cannot be demanded, respect cannot be demanded, loyalty cannot be demanded. Everything we do as a Master or Dominant has to be earned.

You will call me Sir , you will call me Daddy, you will call me Master why ? This or those titles we so crave are earned, the same way we earn respect , the same way we earn trust.

Once you begin or agree to start a relationship then we can start to implement some rules, perhaps a daily bed time or a wake up time. If medication is being taking a good rule would be to let you know when and what.

Most Dominants who are new to the lifestyle often give rules out that are just sexually based. Like you must worship my cock  or suck whenever we are alone. You must wear short skirts with no panties. You will learn to take my pain, you get the idea nothing has to do with structure or improvement.

Just because we are Dominant does not mean the submissive next door  will fit our needs, it does not mean the slave we are talking to is our fit. This is where the getting to know each other comes in. Learning about each other, our likes and dislikes. We do not want to come off as trying to change someone, we want to let the slave know we want to improve.  Although changing someone can be done it does in tell a lot of work and should only be done if you plan on the relationship being long term.

There are two hard parts in finding the perfect partner and there is someone who is perfect. Finding the right partner, then finding the right partner who is willing to adapt to your ways, follow your rules, follow your structure and be willing to be trained and take it seriously. If you find the above then it is a need for the slave..

Have a plan put in place, knowing who you are and what type of Dominant you are will determine what plan you need. This goes for the same with the sub or slave.

If you’re a Daddy Dom why would you pursue a Submissive or even a Slave? If you’re a Baby Girl why would you pursue a Dominant or a master?

Rules and protocols run the same path both basically have the same outcome. However, both will help where help is needed.

The slave must be willing first off, rules , protocols, and training must be a need , if everything is just a fantasy it will be time wasted, if a need the possibility’s are unlimited .

The need to give up total control the,  need to give another total control, not a want but a true need.

If your rules are mostly about sucking cock, no panties in public , or anal training if you’re in a LTR , sending pics or videos , then maybe you should sit back and rethink your relationship.

You have to truly need it, you need to crave and with the right leader your relationship will truly rock.

Before moving into a relationship why would you not want someone who wants to be friends, someone who wants to get to know you as a person a friend , even a best friend before moving into the kink area. I would think you would want someone who has your best interest in mind and you can see the difference but you turn your head hoping everything will be okay , even if it is not you stick around in fear of being alone…

Living apart makes a D’s relationship rather hard for the Dominant to maintain control. I myself am hands on, I am visual. I like to stay in contact even through out the day, I like knowing where mine is and what she or they are doing. I require check-ins, I want to know how the day is going. These are forms of protocols  if you have enough protocols in place very few rules are actually needed..

Rules are meant to improve where improvement is needed…

Last you must have 24/7 access toyour  Dominant , you must be able to ask questions ands hare your concerns. You must be allowed to communicate.. A good Dominant will never raise his voice or shlow anger towards you

Vile

 

 

 

BDSM And Discipline

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, consequences, Consistency, controlling, Discipline, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, Ego, fucking and sucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, punish, Punishment, Slave, Structure, Submission, training your slave, Training your submissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Discipline is something I do not look forward to nor do I set back and hope a rule will be broken. That takes way to much time and causes one to walk on egg shells….

My observation in the lifestyle most Discipline or punishment is in a  physical form and consist of pain and leaving black and blue marks , how ever I believe something that is looked over when others speak of being punished is aftercare.

Being punished the different forms , the main of course which is most commonly used is physical, which I have used in the past , but my way of thinking if a rule or protocol is broken 99% of the time it was a mistake. So I sit down and talk so I can find out what happened. Did something come up , or was it forgotten? The next question is what can be done to prevent it from happening again , what steps are going to be taking to make sure it does not happen again?

Some different ways besides physical , would be verbal , talking and seeing what happened.  taking something away , taking a privilege away , confinement, you get the idea. Beating someone is not always the answer although if you read enough blogs or talk with others this seems to be the trend today.

If a submissive or slave is breaking rules on a daily basis there is a problem, a lack of attention or maybe the training.

I met a Baby girl at a local function I know the Dom well, and while outside I could hear the displeasure in her voice. She had just moved from Main down to Florida and the end result was not good he ended up putting her out on the street.

A friend of mine sent me a text and asked me to call him so we could figure out what happened and what we could do. We did find her a place to stay but she had already made arrangements to fly home with the help of her parents.

Why was it her fault ? Number one she did not do her homework , she did not Vet him prior to moving down meaning she did not contact anyone to see if he was who he said he was, as it turned out he was not.. She took his word on everything , only to sell everything she owned moved and found out soon afterward everything was a lie.

I tried to reach out to him after she contacted me and asked why he was kicking her out? He just stated she was not for him, and when I asked if he was just going to put her out his answer was yes.

The texting was going good until I asked him what steps he had taken in training her , and the conversation went dead. This just proved he had no clue, nor did he care about putting the work into the relationship to make it work.

I think when it comes to our lifestyle Discipline in someways are over played , many see discipline as a daily ritual , see it as needed in order to be in a relationship.

Just a few and the first and most popular is the physical part the spanking, the beating, the leaving bruises as a reminder a show of Authority showing who is in charge.

Self punishment which I always found funny, that is something I never took part in and I find it to be Ego driven and someone who is full of their own shit.

Taking a privilege away something the submissive or slave enjoys, be it TV , a girls night out, their ipad something one cherishes. Free time giving during the day , down time, I have found this to be very effective.

Then talking , communication sitting down one on one and find out what happened , why was a rule broken ? There are times when it cant be helped, and at times things need to be looked over.

As Dominants you spend so much of your time building an awesome relationship why would one take the time to beat someone so precious, someone who is suppose to mean the world to you.

Those who do not have a clue spend much of their time talking down to the sub or slave, degrading and humiliating. This is to keep someone at a very low self esteem, and unless they are able to communicate with others, they do not know any better..

The Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Slave Is High Maintenance, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Dominant, emotional, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental BDSM, Micromanagement, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Punishment, Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, TPE, Training Arianna, Vile Woods on FaceBook, viledesires62@aol.com on February 22, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I never pressured Arianna to call me Sir or Master , I waited because such an honor is clearly earned.

I loved the steps I took in building a relationship, I loved watching the relationship grow, but I also knew in order for it to be successful I had to be who and what I was.

I wanted Arianna to ask , and I waited for that question. Will you be my Master, I knew then I was on the right path.

Although we spoke of training and what our goals were , yes hers and mine , I did not go into any great detail and only answering questions when they were asked.

By earning ones respect you get so much more than trying to demand submission. You can demand submission but your not getting the whole picture nor are you entering a true relationship with any meaning.

A slave is not weak a slave is strong in mind body and soul, however a Slave does have different needs and goals, along with a different type of structure.

I had a strict 90 day plan in hand and I began training without a word. The one thing that made me stop and think was there was absolutely no resistance this was something I had never experienced. Today our relationship requires only daily maintenance , as with any other relationships just on a different level.

There are many definitions today when we try to define a D’s or M’s relationship we are all different and we have different needs.

Although Arianna may be my wife, best friend and partner she is property first, she wears a collar 24/7 that shows my ownership, I can proudly say it has been over 3 years she she has been collard and it has not been off one time. She wears her collar proudly and yes this includes work. Before entering a relationship that was a strict requirement of mine.

Many today do not take the collar serious , it is worn during play , when out to local functions, or when company comes over that is the only time it has any real meaning. If that is your lifestyle that is fine it fits you…

Although we train and we train to fit our needs  , we also have to take the slave into consideration. We need to set goals, we need to insure our property fully understands what is about to happen. We need to insure their needs are met on all levels, many would like to think it is a one way street but that is so far from the truth.

I myself take the collar very serious , it is a sign of ownership, it is a sign of devotion, it is a sign of submission, again do not take this wrong this is only my opinion.

Master/slave

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Respecting ones limits be it physically or mentally , knowing the limitations , knowing just how far you can go and still remain in control. Fixing problems before they become problems.

The feeling of security , the feeling of being wanted , the feeling of being needed, but most of all the feeling of being able to trust and respect.

In the beginning when the relationship is defined , what is expected , the rules and protocols, once everything is in place we as Masters cannot change things up a year later, many times going back on your word can be a deal breaker. There are times when something may need to be changed but I feel it needs to be explained in detail how it would benefit the home.

Training is changing the thought process , training is changing habit and replacing them. If you sit and think if done right you can create the perfect partner, that is the easy part , the hard part comes with maintaining it.

The training would include verbal , physical , mental, emotional , and at times rituals this is where structure comes into place. In my Master , slave or Owner , Property structure plays a huge part as with rituals , rituals become rules, protocols become rules.

Although I do feel punishment is needed that is not my main focus, I do not sit around and wait on Arianna to break a rule, she knows when she breaks a rule, which I can say has only happened once in 3.5 years. Positive reinforcement and communication plays a huge roll in any relationship.

Breaking someone to the point of feeling worthless , constant humiliation , abuse mental and physical , remember if you break it you have to fix it. I am more than sure the end result is not something you would want in a lifetime partner.

Training comes in a few different areas , be it service , sexual,  how to speak in public what to wear , how to talk , how to communicate with people or who not to communicate, who to hug or who you shake hands with ,how much do you want to control? We live a Owner Property relationship , a consensual relationship , consensual being the key word. Make no mistake I run and control everything in my home.

Just make sure who ever you are considering make sure they have your best interest in mind..

 

 

 

Sex and Submission

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, Bondage Cuffs, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, sex, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

The world of BDSM is much different that=n the vanilla world, the little flirts , the long love making sessions , the caressing the I love you’s. The comes the no I am not doing anal , no I am not sucking your dick, or I do not swallow.

If you as a submissive look back on your vanilla dating and look at now there is a clear different.

In the vanilla world if you acted kinky you were a slut , so as we grew older we tended to hide our kink, until it was no longer controllable..

It takes time to get adjusted in the lifestyle we make many mistakes and mistakes we wish we had never made , but as long as you learn and you keep moving forward there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Although most when thinking about submission the word sex comes up, most think sex is the biggest part of the lifestyle and to many it is , but it really runs much deeper.

Submission being able to get into the mind and just walk around and check things out, being able to do silly mind fucks. Being able to understand the way your submissive or slave thinks, why they think the way they do, what makes them think?

Being in control , most who say they have limits when it comes to giving up control in a stable relationship the limits will slowly fade.

Sir Franco Bolli @ http://sirfrancobolli.org/  Made the following comment

..It is my personal experience that it is not so easy to find a partner who is compatible. Having found an almost perfect match is a true blessing.

The above statement is very true , this is why it is important you do not jump into the first frying pan. Being compatible means everything including outside of the bedroom on your back or on your knees.

If your going into a D’s or M’s relationship and your soul purpose is to be a used fuck toy then you need to have that understanding and both have to be on the same page.

Most of the time when you enter a new relationship everything for the first week or month is good, but then something happens you become more clingy , more needy you want to give up more control but your dom is not on board? This is when you communicate your needs. If you fear speaking what is on your mind then your in the wrong relationship, or if you do and your Dom is not on board then again your in the wrong relationship.

BDSM has really change so much over the past 10  years , today it is more of a kink than a lifestyle , most are only bedroom and that is fine if it works for you.

I do not have a switch I can turn on and off, at times it would be nice but as of right now I am in a good place , life is good.

BDSM today is more of a sexual based than anything , for the most it is just about sucking cock and fucking and very little to do with the D’s or M’s side of things.

I like the control , I need the control and not just in the bedroom. I need a very structured home , I need protocols in place as well as some rules. The truth is if you have the first two in place very few rules are needed. once everything is in place it is just daily maintenance and communication.

I love sex but sex is on my terms, I love the kink but on my terms, I love bondage and at times extreme bondage again on my terms. I have the final say in our home , be it from dinner going out or even when and where money is spent.

That is why when meeting someone new it is very important to be on the same page. Before entering any type of relationship both needs to know what is expected of each other and where both want to be and what part each will take on.

The submission is earned it cannot be demanded , it is earned by earning respect , and being who and what you say you are.

Control is in the mind , submission is in the mind , although being physical is good , it does not take being physical to earn ones submission. You cannot earn ones submission through intimidation those types of relationships are short lived.

Being compatible when it comes to sex is very important , sticking to your limits is very important , finding someone who respects your limits is a must.

As in any D’s or M’s relationship a great deal of time has to be invested, time invested from both not just one.

If you the slave or submissive are going to lay on your back or get on your knees then you should get something out of the relationship. It should be more than just fucking or sucking , or the Dom trying to find out how much pain you can take.

What do you want to do with your one life.

This set was custom made for Arianna by my good friend Jon. We received them yesterday and I have never seen such quality….

Beltcuffs

 

Vile

 

 

 

Dominants Have Rules And Protocols As Well

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, slave, submissive, Uncategorized, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , on November 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many of the blogs here on wordpress when speaking about Domination and submission are geared towards relationships, the Submissive, the Dominant, the Master, the Slave.

The slave or submissive tells about their life and journeys , The Doms and Masters talk about their lives , their relationships, rules , structure, and some protocols.

We Masters , Dominants and Daddy Doms just as the submissive , Baby Girl, or slave are a direct reflection of our property. We set standards in place for our property to follow, we set rules for private and public, but we have to he held accountable as well, after all our property looks up to us as leaders.

We train ours how to act, how to speak, talk and walk, we impose rules some stricter than others, we control , we guide and we have expectations, and if not followed punishment is in the air.

On a couple of occasions we left a lifestyle function and Arianna said Master there were somethings you said that did not make you look good, or maybe you should of worded that statement different. After thinking about her comment I found it to be true. Okay my bad , I have a habit of saying what is on my mind , but here is the thing if Arianna noticed it so did everyone else, no one ever says anything so if she did not bring it up I would of never thought about it.

I expect Arianna to follow the rules and protocols I have put in place. The rules I put in place were different from past relationships, the protocols , the structure all are different , this is due to her being different , not different in a bad way , but I focused on needs and what I thought would keep her in a better place, and 3 years later it has worked.

We as Dominants and Dommes are watched , our property is watching us, they watch every move and listen to every word. They watch how we interact with others, subs, slaves and Dominants.

We set the example, we want to be followed, we want to lead, in order to achieve all of this we have to set the example. We as Dominants have rules to follow in everyday life, we have rules and protocols when out in public more so at local events.

When a Dominant walks up and introduces himself as Master Porky I just kinda roll my eyes, when this happens you never hear the second word, as you hear is Master. We are all different but when I introduce myself it is hello I am Vile.

I never just walk up and start a conversation with another submissive or slave, this is poor judgement on a Dominants part not knowing if they are owned or not.  The same with social Media , just because I am friends with another Dom it does not give me the right to friend his property, in that case permission is needed.

While it is true I do get nutty at times , I have found it is rather hard to stay serious 24/7.  I love to have fun , I act out at times, I love making people laugh.  Arianna knows this but she also knows when I am serious.

We cannot control someone if we are not in control, we cannot expect someone to respect us if it is not earned.

It is pretty easy controlling someone who does not know any better, it is easy to control someone who does not have a clue…..  It is easy to fuck with someones emotions , feelings or even fucking with their head. One does not care if they are not in it for the long haul.

I have seen many times when a D’s or M’s relationship is in a one way status, the Dominant barking out rules , losing their temper, screaming, but he had no rules or protocols to follow, he was not setting a positive example.

I was reading a conversation on fetlife a Dominant was wanting advice on how to break his bitch. My answer was , why would you want to do such thing? Why do you feel you have the need to break someone ? I got no reply.

Fetlife is full of bashers , hatred , from those who know everything. The truth is any real Dominant would not out another Dominant in a public forum. Again we set the examples , we lead ,  we teach, and train.

I was talking to a slave the other day and she made the statement she did not have to love but she had to be able to respect. That is really deep…

I hope all of you had an awesome Thanksgiving