Archive for the Religion Category

My Spirituality And BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, fetlife, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, Religion, Slave, Submission, Submissive, viledesires62@aol.com on April 1, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

While I may be very outspoken , loud at times , I do have a habit of speaking my mind, in private or public. I am far from politically correct and if I think your bull shitting me I will be the first to call you out.

One obsession I have is speaking with elders , I love their stories of life from the beginning to the present, very wise and most information can be put to very good use. Each story is different , their life is different, some have had a very easy life while others struggled growing up. Some had a good home while other faced abuse on a daily basis.

While in Korea an Elder I met named Kim I would sit for hours and just listen while he spoke in broken English. The stories were very intense. The came the subject of Buddhism which i found very interesting.

Being in the army I could fly most anywhere in the world for about 10.00 dollars and my next stop was Thailand, this was mid 1980 I had just turned 18 and my first taste of the lifestyle.

Although Buddhism is a religion I never looked at it that way , the way I understood it it was a way of life. While at times when I first meet someone I am quick to judge , I try to set aside those feelings and give them a chance but most of the time my gut feeling was right.

I seldom give second chances but there are exceptions at times I am not sure why such as a friend I use to have Daddy M not one but two chances and he proved to be a pig.

I will help others if I see they are doing something to help themselves , if not I decline or I do not even bring it up.

most expect others to just jump in and fix what they have fucked up, remember 90% of our problems are self inflicting , this happens by using bad judgement , and not thinking about the choices and consequences. Trying to cheat the system , trying to get over on someone , be it a friend or even at times family.  I believe today family will fuck you faster and more often than someone you call a friend.

I have said this before I am not against religion I am against organized religion. Organized religion is evil, it is money driven, the poor feed the rich.

Live as you would want to be treated by others and give the same respect.

Today i am not a full practicing Buddhist but I walk with much of the beliefs, I do find time from time to time to meditate. I live a good life and I treat others with respect and I expect the same in return. The only down fall is some take my kindness as a weakness and those who walk into me blind are in a pasture they have never walked.

I can care and have great love for you but that switch can be turned off in a split second and never turned back on, this includes family.

I have nor do I allow drama into our life, I stop it before it becomes poison . The same way I handle problems , I handle before they become a problem.

To have a  successful and growing relationship both have to be honest and upfront , both have to be truthful and able to communicate their needs.

Compatibility is the most important thing when trying to build a relationship. It is okay to give and take on somethings , but if you give on needs it will never work..

The almighty married Dominant who is cheating on his wife. This is no Dom in any way shape or form. His wife wont suck cock or take it up the ass, and not into pain. This is a kink to them and nothing more. They prey on those who are submissive because they believe you are weak and simple minded. They believe you just want to be used and punished.

Your a piece of ass, only able to experience submission when the Dominant can get away from his wife. He comes to your place or you get a room. You suck dick , get your ass beat and your dropped off. Ill text you later..

I get emails all the time and comments as well one just the other day about seeing a married Dom that turned into a disaster , she was able to see she was just being used.

A close friend of mine was seeing a married Dom, why ? I do not have a clue. He could only go out when he had something to do, other than that he was stuck home with wifey.

So he moved and the relationship ended or so she thought, when he sent her a text she politely turned him down and all of a sudden he had found someone younger and told her to go fuck herself.

A few months later another text. Want to Fuck ? She did not reply and the text continued, so I decided to send him an email on fetlife. He would not answer me , but continued to text her and tell her how weak she was followed by the names again. I sent him a total of 8 emails , shrugs. I even invited him to a local function , but that went unanswered …..

I would think as a submissive or slave while in a relationship you would want the whole pie and not just a slice. I would think you would want to be treated with respect. I would think you would want to be cared for. I would think you would want to be more than a piece of ass. I would think you would want to experience the training process, the experience of earning your collar.  Maybe I am wrong ?

My way is not the only way , but i do have a proven formula that I have put together and used and in my relationship it works, and it works well. I trained to fit my needs , I trained to help arianna , I trained so that she could achieve goals, and Ive supported her. Being supportive plays a huge role , just as communication.

As always i got off track a little, but if you follow you know this already. I love sharing my life , I love sharing my growth when it comes to the lifestyle…

Much love

Vile

 

My Interview Questions Are In. I will Be Truthful With My Answers

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, anger, Anger Issues, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, Buddhism, Cheat, Cheaters, Cheating Dominant, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Giving Head, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Humiliation, married, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, needy, online radio, Philippines, Radio, relationships, Religion, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Submission, submissive, Thailand, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Slavery, TPE, Training Arianna, Vile, Vile Radio, Vile Woods on FaceBook with tags , , on July 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

So I posted yesterday that I would be willing to answer any question giving to me and answer it honestly.
What I am surprised with but somewhat grateful none of the questions were sexual.

I like doing these interviews , it opens up a whole new world to those we know and follow here on wordpress.

Some of the questions are very deep, so I will try to explain them the best I can….

Susie Jul 22, 8:41 pm

could you please, in depth, list and explain. 5 emotional, physical and spiritual ways Arianne lifts, enhances, & contributes to the quality of your life as a Man,Dom and Master.. By giving the gift of her submission and slaving.

I did say deep didn’t I.

When I first met Arianna I was in a bad place. I had been searching for over a year, for a long term partner, and I had all but giving up. I refused to move on my needs.
I had made plans to move out of the country and I had already obtained employment in the Philippines , my next choice would of been Thailand.

I was not what you would call depressed, I would say more of being lonely. That is the main reason I had decided on taking in a roommate, for the company. Although Kelly is an awesome person, she is like a sister to me, that still did not fill the void.

So when I first was introduced to Arianna, I felt something right away. I felt a connection, and that is something I need.
You can be the hottest bitch to walk the earth, but if I do not have that connection, I cannot fuck, it will not happen.

Spiritually, I am what I would call a spiritual man not religious I am far from religious and I feel I am in a much better place.
I am Buddhist , I have been studying Buddhism for about 15 years, and I believe it has helped me walk the path I walk today.

Arianna has giving me insight, it is like I can breath now, and knowing someone has my back. Physical , this is huge January 1st I quit smoking after 38 years 2 packs a day, because it was a need for Arianna. She does not smoke so it was not really fair to her that I did, and I smoked in the house. My house remember, so to speak. I quit because of my love for her, and me being somewhat older, I want to live a very long time, because she does give some awesome head.
Truth be known there are very few 24/7 M’s couples we are very rare, but there are very few D’s couples who live 24/7 and I am not sure why.

To have someone kneel before you and give you total control over their well being. There is truly no other feeling, it is a total rush, I could feel the blood flowing through my veins. To have such a prize possession giving to you. Truly there can be nothing greater.
It the relationship gives you drive, it makes you want to excel at everything you do, you need to be the best at what you do.
The truth is I want for nothing, my every want and need is anticipated , it is very seldom I even have to ask for anything.

I hope I answer your questions..

The next question was from an email.

Are the pictures you post of Arrianna? Did you always know you were a Master?

Sent from my iPhone No they are not, although the picture on my book cover is her, and she will probably be on all of the upcoming covers. I would never post any nudes of Arianna on here I respect her way to much..
As far as being a Master, I knew I was different at a very young age. At the age of 14 I liked to tie girls up, spank, and so on, it was the control factor I was missing.

thecheekyhousewife Jul 23, 2:13 am

Two questions:
1. Your pen name. You’ve shared how you got it so I get that it’s suppose to be playful or fun. But I’ve been a social worker for 15 years and have seen what vile is. You’re not it. Not even close. So my question is: Would you be open to changing your pen name?
2. You’re friggin hilarious and smart. You’ve compared yourself to Howard Stern. And he’s just gross. Would you ever consider a PG-13 edition of your writing or radio show? I think there are many teenage girls that would benefit from your writing. 🙂

My pen name as you call it has been with me for some 35 years, Gretchen thought I was Vile. That is what and who I am known by and not just here on wordpress.

I would be open to doing another blog, or maybe being a partner with someone under a different name, but to change my name, I could never do that, that would change who I am.

My radio station will be about the lifestyle, BDSM , it will be about my blog, the topics I have covered and I intend on having guest as well. Arianna is and has been very supportive when it comes to the radio station, it means as much to her and it does me.

I have a soft spot for children, today so many are left out in the cold, and they have to fend for themselves and it is really sad. When something goes wrong they take the blame.
If I could just snap my finger and make everything alright I would. If I had a huge farm I would take everyone in who needed help.

No I cannot change who I am..

And another

It seems that neediness is a very common trait among submissives. What is your advice for submissives who have been made to feel that their neediness is a bad thing?? How would you “draw out” a submissive who is closed off and not communicative?

As an experienced Dom, your style has changed over the years, but you have maintained your sense of self through it all, even through your own “training”. Do you think this is an attribute common among Dominants?

Vile, I’ve liked the interviews, they have given a lot of insight into how different people and relationships are. I hope you keep it up.

❤ mel.

It seems that neediness is a very common trait among submissives. What is your advice for submissives who have been made to feel that their neediness is a bad thing?? How would you "draw out" a submissive who is closed off and not communicative?

I have blogged about this before. This is the way you separate the real and from the fakes.
It is true many who are submissive are needy, I believe this is more true with those who are slaves.
Those who are not true, the fake Doms I have talked about, the married Doms or Daddy Doms I have talked about, they are the ones who tell subs that being needy is a bad thing, because then they have responsibility, they actually have to do something in the relationship instead of just getting their cock sucked.
Being needy is not a bad thing, so what if someone depends on you, at least you know you have someone you can depend on. I find someone who is needy to have strength, I believe they will open up more.If you except them for who they are as a person and a submissive, the communication is unlimited. In the end that is what we want communication.

Being needy is only a bad thing when the other does not care about you, and saying it is a bad thing should tell you one thing. They do not care about you.

As an experienced Dom, your style has changed over the years, but you have maintained your sense of self through it all, even through your own "training". Do you think this is an attribute common among Dominants?

This is an awesome question.

I believe Dominants tend to think things out more on an intellectual level than lets say someone who is vanilla. Did that make sense ?
Yes it is true for the most we do have to train ourselves, but as I have stated I myself have always had a mentor, someone I look up to and respect.
I go to him because he will not tell me what I want to hear. If I am fucking up he will tell me.

A good Dominant if he meets someone he cares about, and he believes a relationship is possible, then he should be able to meet ones needs, not really giving in, but bending a little, adapting is the answer I think.

Is it a trait, while all Dominants are not bad, I do not believe it to be common no.
Just like while at the local much and the topic came up about another Master stepping in if something happened to me. There were 12 Doms there and there was not one I would of trusted.

I find the love you have for Ariana to be truly special. To me, it transcends
Master and slave. When did you know she was the one? Was there a specific
moment?

xxoo Jane

Thank you for the email Jane.
The moment My eyes landed on her, actually when she extended her hand and we shook hands, I could feel the warmth. What I saw in her eyes told me everything. I new from the first words out of her mouth.
Thank you.

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The Beach where we were Married.

Vile

Arianna And I watched, My Five Wives, Well Almost All Of It

Posted in abuse, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, Buddhism, Christians, church, communication, Consensual, consequences, consistent, control, controlling, Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Dominant, Family Values, Gay, Living Poly, Living Triad, married, Married Polygamist, Master, My Five Wives, Open Minded, Patience, Polygamist, Protocol, relationships, Religion, Rules, Self-Discipline, sharing, Sister Slaves, Sister Wives, Structure, Submission, submissive, Triad on March 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

My Five Wives

While skipping through channels the other day I stumbled across this show called, My Five Wives

Brady who is married to five wives in Utah and has 24 children lives in two houses built side by side and a food bill of over 4.000 dollars a month seems to have it down for the most part.

The family were all Mormons at one time but have split off from the traditional Mormon religion and kinda added their own flavor.  While the family follows no real religion they all believe in Buddhism, all the women are pro-gay marriage and they all have a drink from time to time.

Each wife has their own bedroom and Brady takes turns spending the night with each one. One Birthdays each wife gets an extra night.

I have nothing against those who believe in polygamy or who live it, if it works for them then so be it.

If a family can live the Polygamy lifestyle and make it work, and not live off of government assistance then leave them be. We are in a new time where we allow gay couples to marry so why would be draw a line on how many people can live together.

While the family is not religious based they were all Mormons at one time, and they do live in a  Polygamist community , which they have been asked to leave because of the way they believe.

There are a few things that caught my eye in the short time we watched the show. The main thing was the jealousy between all of the wives as Brady took turns spending the night with each one. The second was no structure within the home, third there were no rules that had to be followed. Even though the show is not geared towards any BDSM lifestyle or Domestic Discipline the family did lack the fundamentals of any type of real structure and no protocol. I do believe Brady tries to communicate the best he can, but the main factor that keeps everything from working is the jealousy. There is no real communication with the wives, they all work toward the building of the home, but there is clearly no team work. They do have family outings which is good, yes all thirty of them, wow can you imagine going to McDonalds and having a bill for thirty.

So I wonder if others who live as Polygamist have the same issues , the same problems , if they have the same jealousy issues going on.

None of the wives on the show are Bi Sexual and that should never come into play anyway if you are looking to expand your family. I do not see the need in having partners and seeking out those who are bi as a need and that should never be part of the reason you are wanting to expand your family.

While I have done research on Domestic Discipline family’s I have not run into any who live as Polygamist. I have run into family’s who suffered from abuse and while a couple disagreed with me they mentioned all of the arguing that went on daily, and the fighting that went on daily so I was not able to connect them with living a Domestic Discipline lifestyle which for the most is religious based as well.

In the short time watching the show I was able to pin point where the problems came from. First there was no Alpha female, if there was she was not willing to step up to the plate. I can see where they all were wanting to be treated equal but in a live in situation like that I see no way that would work.

There was zero structure everyone did their own thing, having no structure causes arguing. There were no house rules again having no rules causes arguing.  Last but not least there were no consequences for any actions. Although he did try and communicate with everyone it was clear he was not getting through to them.

I can see where such a lifestyle could work if the male is in full control, and I can also see where it can fail. Those who live the polygamy lifestyle keep it such a secret I do not believe there is any hard statistics that shows if it works more than it fails.

I also believe a man can stretch his self way to thin and not being able to maintain any type of control, and it is clear when one of the wives stood toe to toe and argued with him he clearly had no control.

When Arianna and I were talking about the possibility of adding another, there would of been a plan in place. There would of been house rules to follow, there has to be structure, there has to be protocols , and most of all there has to be an alpha female, and the other has to know the alpha is just that and will always be the alpha. So a third would have to be okay being the third, and know that will never change.

I was reading some of the comments about the TV show My Five Wives, and there was not one good one, well until I commented. These people who were complaining are the same ones you see as customers in the TV show Hardcore Pawn, or guest on the Jerry Springer show, These are the ones talking about how others live their lives.

You have people protesting Gay Marriage if your so against it then don’t marry someone who is gay, BOOM problem solved. If you judge someone for having more than one wife, then just marry one, problem solved.

What is really stupid is you spend and hour watching a TV show about Polygamist then you spend the next day complaining about it. Wow fucking really. Truth be known your the fucking moron for wasting an hour of your life watching something you hate so much.

Let people be who they want and need to be. A friend at work was talking about a family he was working with they were Mexican, he was saying that two family’s lived in a two bedroom apartment, and how crazy they were. Well it is not really crazy, they make it work, who cares how they live.

If your going to live, live the dream, but don’t waste your time talking about how others live, when your own backyard is fucked up….

By the way I can talk, my backyard is clean.

Image Just how many is to many? How many can you keep under your control.

Vile

The Difference Between DD And BDSM

Posted in abuse, Advice, anal sex, anger, Argue, Arianna, Ass, bdsm, blow job, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Dominants, Master, Mentor, Religion, slave, Submission, submissive on October 27, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This week I have been raising some eyebrows with my post on a DD relationship and the abuse within. I am not saying every DD house is abusive but from the comments from some of my readers present and past abuse seems to run higher in a DD home Verses a D’s or M’s ran home.

Being a Dominant can take years to Master if you will, we just do not wake up one morning and say I am a Dominant, most of us know we are different at a very young age, just as a submissive does.

Another key element I would like to point out a younger Dominant will seek out a mentor most of the time, someone they can learn from, more so when it comes to any type of hands on play. It also took me years to Master the control I have and learn the difference between being in control and being controlling. It took me years to Master my anger, to think before I spoke. The words that come out of your mouth can do much harm.

There is no reason for a Man and Woman to stand toe to toe and argue, I look down on men who do so. That does not show any control. Remember we are suppose to be leaders, we are suppose to guide, give advice when needed.The Submissive has to gain trust before they will follow, and we must be able to maintain that trust.

In a years time I have punished Arianna one time and one time only. Why is this ? It breaks a submissive’s heart to know they have done wrong. There is no more pain a submissive could endure knowing they have messed up. A submissive or Slave strives to be the best they can be, they need to be the best at anything they do. Yesterday we had a conversaionI let it go back and forth a couple of times to see how far it would go and I just finely put my foot down in a nice calm manner and it was added to her rules. At her request.

I am not saying there are not some fucked up Dominants because there are, these are the ego driven  men, the fakes I speak about all to often. The ones who prey on those who are submissive because they see an easy piece of ass. So yes there are some fucked up Dominants.

I was not here to Bash and men who live a DD life, but if your going to stand and argue with your mate, something is really wrong.

I myself to not use spanking as a form of punishment, I have one time and that was just to get a point across and it worked.  If the one who is submissive enjoys being spanked why would you use that as a form of punishment. If you spank during play and you use it for punishment, this can and will confuse the submissive, not being able to separate the two.

Most DD homes are christian based while most BDSM homes are not, although I do know people in the lifestyle who do attend church on a regular basis.

I also believe that if you are raised in a DD home the male or female learns from the parents, and they will carry this over into their own relationship. So if they grew up in an abusive home the abuse will carry over. If the home was not abusive and full of love then what they have learned is carried over.

I believe a Dominant has a great deal of more responsibility within his home, we manage everything, some more than others and some more. As everyone knows Arianna and I live in a micromanaged home. I might point out this was at her request.

I do not believe all males in a DD home have the final say, I am not saying all do not, but I believe for the most they do not. I believe the woman plays a greater role when it comes to making decisions, so far I have only had one female respond to one of my DD blogs.

There is a huge difference when it comes to these types of relationships, more so when it comes to the kink. Although sex is not the main objective in our lifestyle it does play a role. I know in my relationship when it comes to sex the word no or I do not feel good does not come out of Arianna’s mouth. I can tell when she does not feel well and I leave her be. I can say there is not one day that passes that she ask if she can give me head, or my favorite was last night she asked if I wanted to finish in her ass, that drives me crazy.

I do believe in most cases Dominants in the BDSM lifestyle are in far more control.

Here is a comment one of my reader posted last night I have much respect for Gemini and her Dominant Joseph.

Dear Vile,

I find it hard to understand DD at times as I know myself and my Dominant are so in tune with each other that I can’t imagine him feeling the need to seriously administer corporal punishment for doing something so wrong that needed correcting. Even as a strong minded and principled individual I am also very placid and compliant with him and really could never see myself defying him to such a degree.

If there was something I disagreed with or vice versa, then we would have a discussion around that and come to some agreement and because I respect him and his views so much it is very likely I would comply. To me that is big part of being submissive in a D/s relationship.

I think I would feel as though our relationship would be failing if I was going against him and breaking rules so bad that corporal punishment was needed. In any case, I enjoy being spanked too much to make it part of our relationship to be dreaded because of my misbehavior. I also love and respect him too much to upset him to such a degree.

On the other hand, I do not see anything wrong in role playing DD and being taken in hand for being Master’s naughty little girl.

Thanks for the last couple of post Vile. I found them very interesting and thought provoking.

Gemini Xx

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I am done with this topic

Vile

My Take On Domestic Discipline

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, Arianna, bdsm, blog, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Domestic discipline. It is Okay to abuse your wife, Dominants, excommunicated, Honesty, Master, My House, passive, Protocol, punish, Punishment, relationships, Religion, Respect, Rules, Shun, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive on October 23, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I believe from what I have read and the research I have done , Domestic Discipline is a christian based relationship. Both male and female grow up in a DD type household. I grew up in one my parents being Southern Baptist. My brother and I lived in a very strict home, but that is not where the trouble laid.

Although my father was a deacon in our church and a very respected member in our community there were very big dark secrets. Both parents drank very heavy , both were abusive to each other, even to the point of contact.

I would like to say I learned from their mistakes, I learned about a DD house at a very young age. I learned very early on that I was Dominant although in my teens I did not fully understand.  I knew I had to be in control, and  I knew my partner then had to be very passive, easy going, lady like, calm.

Now in my early years I did have a very bad temper, but never to the point of hitting a woman out of anger. At that time I knew nothing of BDSM but I would punish my partner. I would simply walk her to a corner or send her to the bedroom. There was never any contact.

It took me years to control my anger, my thoughts, and the difference between being in control and being controlling. I learned you were much better off talking than screaming.

I learned about BDSM while I was stationed in Korea, but there it was not called BDSM it was just Master and Slave.  I was introduced to an older gentleman named Kim. It was just by luck I fell into meeting him. I can say I did learn most of what I know from Kim. Learning the difference between being in control and not being controlling, learning to listen to someone and really taking it in. Learning you could Discipline from words and not by contact. Beating your slave or submissive is not always the answer.

So from a very young age I learned the way my parents lived and other I had interaction with was not the correct way of living. I wanted to treat my lady better. Even out in public you can see abuse even if it is just verbal, those memories never go away. Words do leave scars. Bruises go away words do not.

Now I am not saying every D’s relationship is perfect, nor am I saying every M’s relationship is perfect, because there are some fucked up Dominants, there are some fucked up men who give themselves titles.  There are Dominants who use the lifestyle as an open door to abuse. The same in just a plain Vanilla relationship abuse is very active today. It just so happens some of my readers in the past have posted about Domestic Discipline and the abuse that happens.

Not every time but most of the time if a male grows up in an abusive house he to will abuse. I have seen this, and I am sure many of you have.

In my church as a kid the woman was to be seen and not heard. Last year I met a Jehovah Witness who had been living in a DD run house and was abused very bad verbally , and even to the point her husband had her excommunicated from the church and her children, mother and father. Instead of being a man and trying to solve his own problems he had to run to elders and tell what his wife had done. What kind of religion does this to a mother? Wow now is this the way a DD house is ran ?

Here are a few scriptures from the bible this explains where many who are religious get their ideas about DD.

What is CDD?
A Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking. The application and practise of DD in each marriage is as unique as the individuals who make up that marriage. There is no “One Ring of Power” in the Domestic Discipline world, to which all DD couples must bow; no singular path to “true DD enlightenment”. What works well for one DD couple may not be a good fit for another marriage. Therefore, you may see many different suggestions espoused on this site and elsewhere.

A Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage is simply a traditional, male-led, Christian marriage which utilises aspects of Domestic Discipline. It is set up according to Biblical standards.

Therefore, in a CDD marriage:

•The husband is the head of the household, whilst the wife is submissive to her husband as if the Lord Himself was her husband. See Eph. 5:22-24.
•The husband is to love his wife as himself, and as Christ loved the church. He is to be a servant, and leads by example. He is to lay down his life for her. See Eph. 5:25-29.
•The wife is to reverence her husband. She is to obey him, so long as his instructions are not in opposition to God’s commands. See Titus 2:5, Acts 5:29.
He has the ultimate authority in his household, but this authority is tempered with the knowledge that he will answer to God for his actions and decisions. The final decision rests with him, and therefore, the final responsibility, whatever the outcome, is his to bear. A wise husband will not make a major decision without prayerfully asking God for wisdom, and without seeking his wife’s counsel. Prov. 20:5

He is to be the head of the home. She is to be the heart of the home.

He is not a dictator. She is not a doormat.

He is not a overbearing Lord of the Estate, seeking to trample over his family. She is not some weak-minded lass, needing to be molly-coddled, or seeking to get straightened around.

He has the responsibility for leading his family and is accountable before God for their well-being and development. He has the authority to spank his wife for disciplinary reasons, but in real CDD marriages, this authority is taken quite seriously and usually happens rarely. Most CDD marriages do use spanking, generally for serious offences, such as the “Four D’s” (Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, or Dangerous [as in dangerous choices… reckless driving, disobeying doctor’s orders, etc]). Some CDD marriages also use non-corporal disciplines, such as writing lines, or the temporary forfeiture of a favourite privilege. Again, every marriage is unique, and CDD is much more than just corporal punishment or spanking.

CDD is not a “magic pill”, and this website does not claim CDD will prevent all marital rows. It is simply a tool, one method which many couples round the world feel is quite effective in strengthening their marriages, and improving the quality of their relationship.

CDD is the husband loving his wife enough to patiently guide and unselfishly cherish her.
CDD is the wife loving her husband enough to follow his leadership and trust his direction.
A Christian marriage should embody selfless love and true romance.
A Christian couple is to be a reflection of Jesus and His Bride.

I posted some time ago about Domestic Discipline and had a few readers respond, even a female submissive who grew up in a very abusive DD ran house. There are submissives who have posted about a DD ran house, so I am not the only one.

I myself have nothing against a DD ran home, as long as it does not consist of abuse, be it verbal or physical. As long as the man is in full control and not controlling. As far as that goes I am against any type of abuse in any home.

I have said this before and I will say it again. How can you expect your woman to cook, take care of the house, kids, pay bills, and lay on her back, and you abuse her ?

So after six months or so I had two people comment about my blog on Domestic Discipline  and just gave me hell up one side and down the other. Even saying I knew nothing of a DD ran home. Well the truth is I do, If you are going to comment at least leave me a way to contact you instead of blocking your blog. You are just wanting to have a one way conversation. You want to say your peace, but you have to have the last word, yea pretty fucked up. You want to start an argument  but not give anyone a chance to respond. Okay I am good with that.

Here are the post.

swl1 11h
The glaring flaw in this entire argument is the completely erroneous assumption that domestic discipline is something that is forced on an unwilling wife by an abusive husband.
In fact it would take only a minimal amount of easy research – I would suggest a few of the two or three hundred public domestic discipline blogs (mostly written by DD submissives) available on the internet as a starting point – to establish the fact that, not only is domestic discipline an entirely consensual private agreement between two adults, but that it is most commonly introduced into the relationship by the submissive partner. It should be noted that one of the operative words here is “adult”, meaning that DD neither extends to any children in the family nor, like the sexual activities of the parents, is the arrangement made known to them. In short, DD involves only the two consenting adults within the relationship and affects or hurts no-one else.
It is also not the case in any shape or form that the submissive partner in a DD cannot withdraw consent at any time if she finds that the dynamic does not work for her. I am sure it is the case that there are many relationships in which a women is forced and intimidated into remaining in a violent and abusive situation, but a consensual domestic discipline relationship is definitely not one of these.
It always surprises me greatly that so many people who would consider it a curtailment of their human rights and freedom of choice if they were told that they must restrict their private lives to the limits of someone else’s approval and desires, can at the same the time and in the absence of any research casually condemn the choices of others.

One other thing. I think that you will find that, in a DD relationship, any ‘hitting’ is confined entirely to spanking the bottom and that split lips, black eyes, etc, do not feature and would be considered abusive and out of place by anyone who practises genuine DD. You might also be surprised to learn that DD, even when used in punishment situation, more often than not has a strong undertone of eroticism (from the D/s interaction) which results in ‘reconnection’ by *mutual* sexual pleasure directly after the spanking.
Finally, while I have encountered a very few individuals who hold rigidly stereotypical views on what they think are typical D/s and M/s relationships, the great majority of people in the DD community, while not necessarily personally desirous of these kinds of relationships, have respect and acceptance for the dynamics and choices of those who do practise them.

Louise 36m
In the vast majority of DD relationships, it is the woman who actively desires this type of relationship, and often has some trouble persuading her husband or boyfriend to try it out. Those where the woman is persuaded into it by the man seem to form a very small minority from what I have read. You don’t really seem to know much about DD at all.
I am guessing both are males, I have yet to have a female post anything positive about a DD relationship. These are all male opinions , just as what I post is my own opinion. I am glad some disagree but please have the balls to let me rebuttal, please leave the door open to let me respond.

I can tell you how my house is ran, it is probably much like a DD ran home. I have rules that are followed, I have put structure into my home, as well as protocols.  I can also tell you that I have never raised my voice to my wife and Slave, I have never hit her nor have I ever talked down to her. My wife is very intelligent , beautiful , and is far from a doormat. I do allow her to speak and share her thoughts and ideas.  We also have a communication based relationship, okay so it sounds perfect, that is because it is.  My wife and Slave will also tell you I have never left a bruise on her.

DO NOT COME TO MY FUCKING BLOG AND COMMENT AND ME NOT HAVE AWAY TO AT LEAST RESPOND. I approved your comments and I replied If you are going to come to my HOUSE and run off at the mouth at least have a little respect.

Now I do understand there are some who are submissive who comment, and do not wish to be contacted, that I do understand. If you are a male commenting on a subject you have deep feelings about and you run off at the mouth, then fucking man up.

THIS IS MY HOUSE

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Vile

Domestic discipline. It is Okay to abuse your wife

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Breaking Rules, Buddhism, Christians, church, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Domestic discipline. It is Okay to abuse your wife, Dominants, Fear, Master, non-consensual, punish, Punishment, Religion, slave, Spanking, submissive on July 13, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Ephesians 5:22–24

Wives and Husbands

22 Wives,submit to your own husbands,as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands

1 Timothy 2:12

12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.

In the world or most religions and Domestic Discipline relationships which is based on religion  the above is carried to the extreme.

The women are raised in such an environment and they do not know any better. The men are raised the same and they truly believe what they have experienced and how they run their household is truly Okay.

In most cases the abuse I believe goes way beyond verbal abuse as well as mental abuse. I am sure at times it gets very physical.

I have had several write me in the past who lived in a DD household and experienced the same, so I am just not rambling here. Since this is a small community even three or four women would bring the numbers up to a high percentage.

Domestic discipline is the practice between two consenting life partners in which the head of the household (HoH) takes he necessary measures to achieve a healthy relationship dynamic; the necessary measure to create a healthy home environmental and the necessary measures to protect all members of the family from dangerous or detrimental outcomes by punishing the contributing, and thus unwanted, behaviors for the greater good of the family.

In some cases the above may be true as far as the consenting part, but for the most the lifestyle is handed down from generation to generation. Most of the time the women marry from within the church, or encouraged to date and marry from within. If you are raised in such a way, once you marry you carry certain traits with you, and unfortunately abuse is some of the traits. If you are raised in a home where the wife is degraded and abused on a regular basis, the male son will most likely carry these habits with him. The female knows no different, and when it happens she is probably shocked at that moment, but really has no one to turn to.

People can get so wrapped up in religion they really lose reality, common sense goes right out the window. In their mind there is nothing wrong with knocking your partner to the ground and yelling because dinner is not finished.

http://marriage.about.com/cs/domesticviolence/a/domesticdisc.htm

Those who support the domestic discipline life style believe:

Domestic discipline comes from the bible.

Domestic discipline is not BDSM.

Domestic discipline is non-erotic.

Domestic discipline is an essential part of their relationship.

Domestic discipline is a physical correction from one who truly cares.

Domestic discipline is responsible authority.

Domestic discipline is appropriate punishment.

Domestic discipline requires that there must be total…consent from both parties.

Research on domestic discipline has revealed:

Domestic discipline is based on misinterpretations of the bible. Here is a very good example, if you pick a scripture out of the bible and you take it to different religions the interpretation will be different in each case. When a pastor or preacher reads from the bible he is giving his own Interpretation. Just as a Dominant in a D’s relationship .

Domestic discipline is BDSM.

Domestic discipline is sexually erotic. I believe this to be true from my stand point I do know when I bend Arianna over and I spank during play I get harder than a rock.

Physical correction is not life-giving to relationships.

Spanking a wife as a means of correction or punishment is a control issue and is potentially abusive.

Marriage calls a couple to mutuality, not to punish one another.

http://marriage.about.com/cs/domesticviolence/a/domesticdisc_3.htm

Some believe women want or agree to domestic discipline style of punishment because of guilt over past sexual behavior or because they believe that God through the scriptures has deemed that this is the proper role of a husband.

Perhaps these women have poor self images. Some women find spanking sexually exciting.

The Issue of Domestic Violence Within the Domestic Discipline Lifestyle

The number of battered women in the United States annually is between 2 and 4 million. It is estimated that at least 25% to 30% of American women are at risk of domestic violence during their lifetime.

Such abuse is also devastating to their children who often feel helplessness and blame along with increased anxieties, more aggressiveness, and behaviorial problems.

When there is an attack on a person’s self esteem or physical body, or when one partner becomes dominant in the relationship, the marriage is at risk for divorce.

Using words like punishment when relating to a spouse sets a couple up to become “feet and a doormat.”

The wife turns into a doormat which is only good for wiping feet on. These marriages are doomed to have relationship problems. Some day she will have had enough.

Seek Counseling

If you are in a domestic discipline marriage please seek counseling so that you can make an informed, rational decision about your marriage relationship.

BDSM is not based on a religion, nor has it ever been. I will say there are those Dominants or Master who take things to far. Those are ego driven men who do not have a clue.

BDSM the Dom is in control, he is not controlling, Okay in most cases. The relationship is consensual on both parties, it is not to say that it cannot be consensual in a DD relationship I would imagine there are cases where it is.

In most aspects BDSM is erotic, fulfilling. Those who are submissive or slaves generally have a low self esteem. So we as Dominants help rebuild this is done through positive reinforcement.

I would think that most women in a DD relationship would have a very low self esteem from what I have read there is nothing positive about a DD relationship. To think that a church would back such behavior is beyond me.

While I am Buddhist , and I try to live as such I am not as active as I would like to be. I can say however I do implement much of my beliefs into my relationship. Such as the ability to stay calm and think things out clearly.  To respect myself and others, treat others as I would like to be treated. While I do pray daily it is never for me, it is for my wife , friends and family.

I believe a man should be in control. There is no reason for a man to hit a woman out of anger. How can a man beat his wife, and an hour later expect her to lay on her back. I wonder what the male is thinking about while he is banging her looking down at her black eye, or busted lip.

I learned long ago you do not break your toy. If you break you cannot play with for sometime.

In some cases there are those women who choose to live in a DD relationship and marriage. In BDSM it is a consensual agreement between two adults, no one is forced, if the submissive or slave finds they are being abuse, they simply pack up and leave. In a DD marriage it is not that easy when children are involved and more so when there is a church involved.

I wonder how people can look down on a M’s relationship when it is consensual, and look up to a DD relationship when in most cases it is not consensual.

Take care of your woman, be it vanilla, submissive or slave. Your woman should always come first no matter what. There is not an instance when your partner should come before anyone or anything else.

With out your wife, submissive or slave who are we? what are we?

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Vile

Religion And BDSM

Posted in abuse, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Buddhism, Christians, church, Conversation, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Dominants, Friends, greed, Master, Masters, munchs, Religion, slave, submissive on February 7, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

So last Friday Arianna and I went to the Mast munch.  Masters And Slaves Together. The topic was how do you incorporate your religion with the lifestyle.

First of all I did not think this was a subject that should of come up at a munch. Two things should never come up, religion and politics. It is not to say that some in the lifestyle does not incorporate some of there religious beliefs into their lifestyle, but to share something so personal in front of a group of people should not of been allowed. I did voice my opinion prior to the munch, but the moderator would not change the topic.

So okay I was already in a sideways mood before arriving at the hostess home, then having to meet new people which I truly hate. To make things worse Arianna and I rode with the moderator. Do not get me wrong we are good friends, we just have huge differences on how a house should be ran.

My answer was Buddhism has helped me in many ways. One my temper although this past month it has been pushed. I think things out more clearly now, I am more in control, of not only myself but my surroundings.

I am not a religious man, I would tend to think I am more spiritual. I am by the book, I take no short cuts, which means no consequences, only choices.

I do not believe in organized religion, once organized it becomes evil, and corrupt. It becomes about money. Just turn your TV on Sunday morning. Religion is based on fear and fear alone. Hence if you are not saved you will burn in hell. Being human the one thing we fear is fear itself. Or the fear of loss.

When you look at the religious side of Domestic Discipline , most is based on abuse and nothing more. Many of these women in such a relationship are beaten down on a daily basis, more verbal than physical. This lifestyle is the only thing the women know. Most have been raised in a family based on DD, so the male follows in the fathers footsteps.

So if you are religious do you feel guilty? Why should you? Does your religion prevent you from being the person you need to be? If you answered yes to any of the above, it is based on fear.

Arianna and I will never attend another munch with such a topic. It has no place in my lifestyle or hers.

I have not been as active in my beliefs as I should be but that is going to change here real soon, and I know Arianna is excited about attending with me.

Now on the other hand, if Arianna felt she had the need to go to church, while I may not agree with her, I would support her and I would attend with her. Going would not change who I am. She is my number one concern , her needs are what matters.

So while at the munch, I stepped outside twice, I do smoke , okay so I have one bad habit, but that will soon be gone. Arianna does not say anything even though I know she does not approve. So while outside I am followed by a Dom I have never met before, and no sooner than I lite up he begins telling me his life story. I am just standing there looking at him, and I am thinking really.

I suppose one of my main faults are, I do not like people, I have a few I call friends, but for the most I stay to myself. People are different today. It is not about friendship it is about what they can get, or trouble they can stir up.

So this Dom I have never met, is asking for my email, my fetlife account, and my phone number, he wants us to start hanging out. I am thinking WOW.  So I finely say to him, look I am not sure why you feel you want to share your life story with me, but to tell you the truth, I could really care less.

A couple of times during the munch things started to get kinda heated up, to the point I thought an argument was going to break out. This is why a different topic should of been discussed.

Last, I do not believe a man or woman should have to go to a building to worship. Nor do I believe that you should have to go through a second party, when requesting one to pray for you, or maybe confess.

Just my thoughts.

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Vile