Archive for the Respect Category

If I Control Your Mind

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, being used, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Patience, Protocol, Respect, Rules, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

How much of her submission do you want ? Have you ever wanted a Slave or submissive who has no inhibitions? Have you ever wanted a slave or submissive who is 100% compliant ?
Have you ever wanted a relationship where the word argue is not in either ones vocabulary?
Have you ever wanted a Docile pet, Baby Girl, submissive or slave ?
Do you want someone who will follow you without question ?

The truth is you can have all of the above and more. The bad news is it takes a little work on your part, the Dominant, yes you are going to have to put in a little effort.

You know I was chatting with a Dom on Facebook the other day, and he told me his life was basically a wreck, and when I told him he needed a plan, he laughed at me. He laughed and he meant it.

If you the Dominant enters a relationship and you are true about what you want and need, and your willing to put your slave or submissive first, dedicate the time that is needed, you can have anything you want, and I do mean anything, and without question.

Some of you are going to say dude your full of shit, there is no such thing as a relationship like that is there?
I am here to tell you I am living the dream, and you the Dominant can live the dream as well.

BDSM is not about pain or how many bruises you can leave. BDSM is not about humiliation. BDSM is not about barking orders. Most of all BDSM is not about demanding respect or submission, it is about earning both.

You can never demand submission, it does not work that way, but some have it in their mind, I am Dominant and you will submit.
You may luck out and find a submissive who is down and out with a low self esteem, who will follow you for a short time, and meet your silly demands, but that bull shit is so short lived.

Control, that word openings up a whole new world. If your truly in control of yourself, your life, your surroundings the moon is the limit.
Being in full control, you will earn respect, you will earn the right to be called Sir, or Daddy even Master. Those titles what ever they are worth are earned. If you have to demand they mean nothing, nothing at all.

So we go a little deeper, instead of telling someone to crawl to you, or having trouble enforcing rules, not wanting to follow rules.
Why not have someone who wants to crawl to you, or someone who has the need to follow rules, the need to please ?

A D’s or M’s relationship is really easy, it does not require any drama, , no yelling, no getting angry and losing your temper. Just being who you say you are, just doing what you say your going to do, and keep your word, and be nothing but truthful….

Being truthful will help you earn the trust that is needed, and earning the trust will also lead to submission.

One thing that gets to me, is a Dom will say you must always be truthful and he is living a lie. You cannot expect someone to be someone if you are not who you are suppose to be…

This strategy will not only work is a D’s or M’s relationship but much of this can work in a vanilla relationship.

We as men, Dominant or not, we have to value our partner , we have to respect and be thankful for who and what they are, because in the end they are the only ones who will have our back in a time of need.

If you control their mind , for the most as well all know BDSM is mental, BDSM is communication, BDSM is about control and not controlling, BDSM is about having patience, BDSM is about understanding and caring about ones needs.

Being able to fully understand your partner and what makes them tick.
Being able to let your partner rant or share their thoughts without getting angry. Being able to understand when they are feeling funky and just letting them alone for a while.
You would not believe how many arguments could be avoided by using this practice.

You have to learn when it is okay to ignore certain situations and when some needs to be addressed.

I screw everything up, it is all my fault, I did it, I cant do anything right. Come on you have all heard this.
There are times when you just stay quite and let things pass, instead of drilling to find out what is wrong.

I mentioned how important the journal is, this gives the Dominant a great tool to find out where his slave or submissive is coming from.

Communication, several times a day I ask Arianna what is on her mind. She knows this is free time, she can share her thoughts and we talk about them.
Even if it is something that was brought up before, we should be open to talk about it.
Well we have already talked about that so there is no need to bring it up again.
Sure there is and it may have greater importance this time around.

This is how we access the open communication. The slave or sub will feel they can now talk about anything and everything.
This is also a step in the right direction when it comes to trusting.

Although we want to know what they are thinking, we want to know why they are thinking it. I know it sounds complicated but it is really not.

I mentioned the first 90 days of training. The training process is more effective if the two are living together.
Reason being there has to be some form of consistency while training if not , the process can take much longer. The 90 days does not mean training is completed because it never really ends.
As we grow we learn, and the more we learn the more we share. We also want our property to grow as well.

Living together allows you to put rules and protocols in place and the Dominant can be sure they are being followed.

If you the Dominant are in the right frame of mind, your property will want to follow without question.

Getting into the mind that is where you want to be. You should know your property inside out. You want to learn things they have never told anyone else.

Whether you know it or not when you the Dominant shows anger this is a weakness, and it is a weakness they slave or submissive will use against you.
These are buttons that can be pushed and will be pushed. Anger controlling anger take a lot of control and self training.
You want to figure the slave or sub out, what makes them tick, their thoughts , their needs, but if they ever figure you out, it is game over, and showing your anger, and being abusive, be it verbal, mental or physical, you just might as well pack up your bags.
Being happy in a relationship is one thing, but a submissive no matter how happy they may be if they are not getting what they need, it will be found somewhere else.
I know I am speaking from experience. Once you lose that control, it is nearly impossible to regain, I know I lost.
The best way to start is to think before you speak, think about how it is going to sound coming out of your mouth.

An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts, that is true, just like a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. So thinking before we speak, taking in that deep breath, really makes a world of difference.

The calmer your are, the more in control you are, the greater the submission will grow.

What many of us fail to see is there is no right way, we all have different needs, finding the right partner to fill that void is the right way.
The last thing we should do or want to do is try to change someone. We can improve but to change is not fair…

mind

Vile

Are You A Submissive Push Over ? You Have Rights You Know

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Respect, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know it seems many who are new to the lifestyle are really gullible, because you believe anything your told, and without asking questions you just follow knowing something is not right.

I have talked about this before, when your first meeting a new Dominant or maybe a Daddy Dom.

You have to ask questions, and you have to know what questions to ask. Going into a relationship you already have some knowledge about what your role in the lifestyle you would like to take part in.
You have been reading, or maybe you have talked to others, so you have an idea what your role would be. You cannot let someone tell you what they think your role is.

Your a Slave, and you can be convinced you are, your a baby girl and you can be giving a few reasons and you will believe it. Only you truly knows who you are.

You also have to ask questions when you first meet, but there is a little known trick called Dominance through intimidation and most fall for it every time.

You will call me Sir, there will be no eye contact. You will wear a skirt with no panties.
You know coming from a Dominant those are really pretty stupid request, and have very little to do with D’s. None of the above have anything to do with submission when your first meeting someone.

One you have both agreed to enter a relationship, the no eye contact thing can be used as a training tool, but the subject of training is a whole new story..

Intimidation is an evil tool, and those who use it use it well. Your made to feel lost, your made to feel confused, and in some cases worthless, but the good thing is he is there to help you, and you feel so relieved.

The truth is you are told what is wrong with you, and what the Dom is doing is planting that little seed.

I have gone over this before, you need to write questions down so you don’t forget
Are you married ? If yes and he says I am but my wife knows and says it is alright, okay fine lets call her. After all if it is really okay he will not mind.
What you do not understand is you can get hurt, and worse you can get killed, do not think a wife is just going to let you walk in and take what she has built after putting up with all his bullshit.

How long have you been in the lifestyle ? Can I meet some of your friends ? How many D’s relationships have you been in and what happened ? When the Dom starts putting the blame on all of the subs you know something is wrong.

Where do you live ? Where do you work ? Can I come and visit ?

At this point and time no rules should be giving out because he does not really know you. I have said time and time again rules are meant to improve, your taking bad habits and making good ones..

You need to find out what his protocols are, you may or may not want to follow all.
You need to find out what is expected of you.
You need to find out if he is poly or will he remain loyal. Because if he says no but later on he wants to have a threesome you have the right to say no.

When I first met Arianna, it was almost 2 months before she started calling me Sir. I had to earn her respect. As a Dominant I could not demand her respect, I had to earn it.

Are you active in the local community? 99% of all Doms are active it is a need. We need to be able to communicate with like minded people. So for a Dom to say I have been in the lifestyle for 5 years or 10 years and not know anyone, yea hes pulling your leg.

I myself need that interaction with others in the lifestyle, I need to be able to communicate with others, and at times I need advice.

One bad sign to watch out for, is when he begins to isolate you from others. He will not want your family to know about him, he will decide which friends you can have and who you cannot have.

Another sign is wanting all of your passwords, that is a true sign of being insecure. It does not matter if your submissive or a slave you still need some form of privacy.

If you go into a relationship prepared things will be a lot easier. This will eliminate any problems and drama.

You also need to know what you expect out of your Dom. You need to know he is going to be willing to dedicate the time you need. You need to know if your going to call he will answer, or text. Today it is so easy to stay in contact. Even today I receive about 50 text or so from Arianna on a daily basis, and I answer each and everyone.

If something is not going as you think it should you have the right to question. If you do not agree with something you have the right to say no.
If your safe word is not respected you have the right to end the relationship.

The collar, is the most symbolic piece of jewelry in the lifestyle. The collar is suppose to have meaning, but most of all the collar is suppose to be earned.

If you meet a Dominant and he tries to collar you on the first meeting, you need to get up and walk out. Remember Domination through intimidation ?

The collar is earned, by completing task on a daily basis, following rules on a daily basis, protocols on a daily basis, and how well you are adapting to the training process.

If a Dom says he can train you in 30 days he is full of shit, it cannot be done. It took me almost 6 months to even get where I thought we should be, and I would call myself an experienced Dominant, and almost two years later I am still making adjustments, adding and taking away where I set fit.

Taking that first step is a huge one and you need to be sure this is really what you are seeking.

I myself have neglected asking questions here not to long ago. As many know Arianna and I had been looking to add a third to our home, and I failed to ask the right questions, only to find out I was being played, I had already made the mistake introducing Arianna to the subs as well, and it turned out they were just playing games and had no real intentions of perusing a relationship.

So its just not the submissive that needs to ask questions it is up to the dominant to ask all the right questions as well.

Be safe, think smart.
Training does not start with sucking cock.

list

Vile

The Collaring Process

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Collar, Collar, collaring ceremony, consequences, control, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook, FaceBook Vile Woods, http://daddystendertouch.tumblr.com/Whatisadaddy, Married Dominant, masochist, MAST, Master, Master And Slave, munchs, Pansexual, Protocol, Protocol public, relationships, Respect, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, submissive, Vile Woods on FaceBook on April 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Now before you jump the gun, there were several submissives who contacted me last night who were agreeing with me.

 

Many today are still pretty confused about the collar or how one earns one. There are also many Dominants since the 50 shades of grey has come out that do not have a clue. Since the books have been out Dominants have been popping up like weeds in your yard.

Sometime ago the collaring process could take 2 to 5 years for a submissive or slave to earn their collar. It has only been in the last ten years or so that this has changed. The consideration time, the training time depending on the submissive or the slave could go beyond the 5 year mark.

Today a submissive can earn a collar on the first date, eh maybe 30 days, which seems to be the average.

Just to let everyone know it was eight months before I collared Arianna, it would of been six months but she refused my first offer. I am not sure if everyone knew that or not.

So I had to regroup think things out, figure out what I had missed, I had to do a little restructuring change things up a little. Wow she really told me no. It turned out good though and I would not of changed anything.

So the collaring process this was before the pansexual epidemic hit the world of BDSM everybody fucking everybody. Zero control, open the trash can throw all the structure and protocols in it. Fuck who needs rules we are just going to have sex. You want to fuck my slave sure man have at it. Those of you who do not know what pansexual is.

There you go

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

Pansexuality, or omnisexuality,[1] is sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of all gender identities and biological sexes.[2][3] Self-identified pansexuals may consider pansexuality a sexual orientation,[3] and refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.[4] The Oxford Dictionary of English defines pansexuality as, “not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity”.[5]

The concept of pansexuality rejects the gender binary, the “notion of two genders and indeed of specific sexual orientations”,[3] as pansexual people are open to relationships with people who do not identify as strictly men or women.

 

So here comes the change , and don’t get me wrong I welcome change to an extent, I am probably the most open minded man on earth you will ever meet. I do have friends who are pansexual dear friends who are pansexual.

That is one of the problems today with poly relationships even when there is a Dominant involved there is no structure , no rules if there are rules there are no consequences if rules are broken, and there are zero protocols, and those of you who have been to BDSM events have seen just what I am talking about.

So yes today you can earn a collar on the first date, but does it really mean anything to you? What did you do to earn it? Because you swallow ? Okay I am not saying everybody sucks cock on the first date. If I dated someone or met someone and I just wanted my cock sucked and it was in the parking lot of Denny’s guess what ? She did not get another call, I lost her number. Okay I am guilty of that I knew there was no chance of a relationship but she may have been hot or I liked the shape of her lips. If you fuck on the first date nah not for me, second yea possible you already have that connection.

You should want to earn a collar, the collar should be very special to you. The meaning of the collar is pure ownership. You have giving yourself, and have agreed to let someone take over your life.

Let me tell you something , 98% of the time if you do not live in a 24/7 setting it does and will not work. It may work for a short time six months to a year, but it will not work. If a Dominant cares enough about you to put a collar around your neck, then he should care enough about you to move you in, or there may be the case where you make more money than he does and it makes more sense for him to move in with you. If he has a job, and a car, and is able to obtain work once he moves.

So you put your Submissive or Slave under Consideration , in some protocols there is a Consideration Collar , this collar can be taken off when going out or to bed or when company comes over. How long would you consider someone before you decided you wanted to go forward with a relationship ? That would really depend on the two.

The Training Collar this is a collar giving to the Submissive or Slave so the two can begin their formal training. Again this collar can come off when needed, or can be worn just at play time or when your Dominant is present.

How long does the Training process take. Well with Arianna I am going to say Hmmm the real in depth training was 90 days and a total of six months, and we are still going after almost two years. I have found that during our relationship I have had to add things and take away things.

The Collar , the collar of ownership. The Collar should be something that is picked out by the two, it should be something that is agreeable by both the Slave and Master or the Submissive and Dominant. Then a ceremony is planned if your anything like me I wanted it to be special. That is why we decided to do it on our wedding day at the same time.

The Collar on the slave is to be worn and it could on be taken off by the Master. Dominants and Submissive’s are different very few wear their collar 24/7.

It was funny Arianna went to the dentist to get her Teeth cleaned she has the whitest teeth I have ever seen, anyway before doing X rays they asked her to remove her necklace. She replied I cant , and the Hygienist said why ? Arianna said its locked and I do not have the key. A Few minutes later the Dentist came in and looked at it and said he had never seen anything like it in his life, but they were still able to do the X rays.

The term Daddy Dom and Baby Girl is relatively  new to the lifestyle. It is a Term that emerged about 15 years ago maybe a little longer but not by much. I was looking for some kind of date but I could not pin point one down. Any way there are a couple of difference stages of a Daddy Dom and Baby Girl.

Most are not sexual those who are truly growing up little’s, although it  has nothing to do with incest , the girl is usually around the age of 10 or 12 and at times younger. I have known some to even wear diapers. Most of the time a Daddy Dom has more than one baby girl, but the baby girl rarely has more than one Daddy. A lot of Daddy Doms are married and very few live with their Baby girls.

I am going to share a link from a Tumbler that a Baby Girl wrote to give a little more insight.

http://daddystendertouch.tumblr.com/Whatisadaddy

Now my reasoning behind the not collaring. Most Daddy Dom and Baby Girl relationships lack any type of structure, almost no protocols and I have seen this when out at different functions as well. Most are not long term. A Baby girls first daddy is seldom the last one. Although there are rules, rules are seldom followed and many times there are no consequences. I have never seen a Baby Girl with a collar on, and believe me when out I am a people watcher. The lack of respect when out towards their daddy is something less desirable. Again this is the growing up little’s I am talking about.

The other relationship The Daddy Dom and the Baby girl is really not age related, again very new to the lifestyle, but we try to except everyone, mainly because everyone is different, our kinks are different. So The Masters and Dominant open our doors with open arms. Munch’s MasT meetings and so on. I find it at times the baby girl to be very disruptive , again no protocols , no rules, and back talking their Dominant right there is public.

Then to have someone who is not a Slave or submissive because most Baby girls are only submissive when they feel like it. Have the nerve to criticize how someone else lives, or simply say that is wrong. Um wait you are at a BDSM munch Bondage Discipline Sado Masochism. .

We talk down about things we do not understand, we judge people because we do not understand, and even when you try to explain , they already have a mental picture in their mind, your fighting a losing battle.

Several months ago we went to a Munch In St Augustine Florida. Arianna could not believe how disruptive some of the subs were and most were Baby Girls and their Daddy sitting next to them like nothing was going on. At times we could not even hear the presenter, and at this time the moderator should of stepped up and showed a few people to the door. This is not the only instance…

Most Baby Girls when collared do not wear their collars, they only wear when they have that feeling of submission come over them, or when Daddy states he wants the collar on and then it is for play.

I take the lifestyle very very serious, as does Arianna . Last night we were talking about getting another collar, and I had found some that looked like eternity collars but they were made out of aluminum. She said NO. She said I am not going to down grade, the weight for one it would not have the same effect. Okay I understood.

When people disrespect the collar in my eyes it is the same as burning our US Flag. That is how serious I take my lifestyle. Sometimes I even hate the word lifestyle, if you think about it I am not a lifestyle I am me.

The collar not not have to be a big bulky leather one, or even an eternity collar, but something to represent ownership. How many of you can reach up right now and touch your collar?

Again these are just my views, my opinion and nothing more, but if your going to attend a BDSM event show some respect and be respectful of others.

Vile

What Makes You A Submissive

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Be who you are, being used, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, Fake Dominants, fuck meat, Giving Head, Love, masochist, Master, Master & Slave, Patience, Respect, rimming, Rules, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, Security, slave, Slave no rights, Structure, submissive, Submissive Brat, sucking cock on January 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

That question should be looked at long and hard. You are going to step into a whole new world. You are going to go places you have never in your life thought of. Your going to be treated like you have never been treated in your life.

There are things you need to think about before taking that step. Reading about BDSM is totally different than living it, or acting out.

What makes you a submissive ? What makes you think your a submissive ? Why do you have the need to serve ? Why do you need rules ? Would you really follow them ? Why do you need structure ?

Those are things that should be thought out before you begin your search. Again here comes the list things all of the above should be on paper and you should be able to answer each and everyone.

Then comes the hard part. Finding the new Dom. That will probably be the hardest task you will ever come across in your life. Because now you are going to spend a great deal of time weeding out the fakes. This will take you at least two or three relationships. Then you have to weed out those who think they are Dominant but they do not have a clue. Then you have to weed out the real ones. You have to pick out the one who fits like a glove.

Maybe your looking for a Daddy Dom , maybe a regular Dominant what ever that maybe, Maybe your looking for a Dominant who is a sadist, or a Dominant who is more into the discipline part of the lifestyle. Maybe your a Masochist, not every Dominant can fill that role,. Maybe your a Brat, again not every Dominant can fill that role.

The above should go on a list as well, and you should be able to answer each and everyone with a clear understanding of what the differences are. What role each Dominant plays.

What type of relationship do you want ? This falls under all of the things above. How do you see yourself living as a submissive on a daily bases ?

What are your limits ? What are some of your limits but in time you may be willing to try ? Never be afraid to express yourself, never be afraid to tell someone what your limits are, and they had better be respected. Never be afraid to tell someone if your limits are crossed you will walk away.

Remember you are a submissive not a slave. You still call the shots. You still have the right to say what will happen and how. You are submissive not a slave.

Make sure your Dominant keeps his word. After all the first thing a Dominant will tell you is to always be honest, and truthful. Why would you not expect the same respect in return.  If you are promised a call, a visit, a text, flowers, a birthday card, then that is what you should get.

Let me get something straight you the submissive are replaceable , that sounds really cruel, but I am sure most of you have been there at some point in your time. You were dumped without notice, no calls, no emails, no text, your calls were ignored. You were replaced.

The same goes for a Dominant he is replaceable as well. Many men fail to look at that side of the picture. When you enter a relationship you need to plant that seed. You were looking when you found him. You need to stand up for yourself, there is nothing wrong with making sure you get what you need and want out of life, and a relationship.

You are a submissive you say when you will submit, and how you will submit. Most who are in a D’s relationship do not even live together. I did not say all I said most. So why would you as a submissive submit to someone who cannot be truthful with you, or they cannot keep their word.

I am giving you a males point of view, because I have been that asshole, I have used, I have abused. Before the mule kicked me in the head, most of the women I saw and fucked were just meat, and nothing more. Most were just cum dumps, with a functioning cock sucker. I could care less what happened once they walked past my front door.

If you think I am the only one who thinks in this manner if you have dyed your hair blonde, you need to run to sally’s and dye it again and fast

So I sit here almost on a daily basis, giving advice. I am giving good advice. You can call me stupid, you can say I do not know what I am talking about, shrugs I could really careless what someone thinks of me.

It is not impossible to find the right one, it just may take a little more time than your willing to invest, but if your willing to invest more time, it would cut out a lot of heartache , and drama that you do not need.

Limits are very important. You have limits in place for a reason. Maybe you don’t like anal sex and you don’t care to try it. Maybe you refuse to RIM, maybe you don’t swallow , no matter the case you need to share your limits and explain that they will not be crossed. Why because they are replaceable.

The Slave factor is a total different story. Arianna is not into pain. Being a sadist at one time, I still have those tendencies, but I respect her way to much to hurt. That is a limit I have, hurting my toy. With the exception of pain and a few others that are normal, Arianna has no limits. That was something that was discussed when we first met. I covered each and everything in great detail so there were no questions. The only answers giving were Yes Or No. Apparently she answered more yes’s than no’s because she is still here , and will be for many years to come.

If your in a relationship and you have to step outside of your circle to ask for advice. Guess what? Your in the wrong relationship. You do not have the communication within your circle to make it work. That means you never had the freedom to express yourself, or your feelings. Now comes the replace part.

You can ask Arianna about the past Dominants she has met, more so the ones she has met while with me. She can see a clear difference. She will tell you how many times her ass was beat and left black and blue, the pain she endured. So there is more than just you who are having or have had problems. Guess what ? Arianna replaced them. You can do the same.

If you are not getting the attention you deserve, the communication, the play time you need. The you need to open the dictionary and look up the word replace.

You can make your search very simple, or you can drag your life through the mud. You can be relaxed, or your life can be full of drama. You have to decide what side of the fence you want or need to be on. Your the one dealing the cards.

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Vile

I Own You

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, Collar, Consensual, control, Dominants, Love, married, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, mistakes, No Rights, owning a slave, Protocol, Punishment, Respect, Rules, slave, Slave no rights, Structure, Submission, The perfect Slave, TPE, Vile on January 22, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not Master alone you call me Master out of respect. You are not a Slave alone, I call you my own. You are mine you have chosen to give yourself fully without question. Upon my return you kneel with great pride and respect. You kneel because you have the need.

I am Master because you are my Slave, without a Slave I am but only a Dominant man. I was a Dominant man in search of a partner who would complete the man I am, the man I needed to be.

I was lost, I was not complete , I searched for the one , I searched for the one who would fill that empty void, the empty feeling deep inside.

You were a lost Submissive who was seeking much more, you were lost in every sense, you were confused, and no where to turn. Then you were guided to me.

June 15th 2013 you married me as the sun rose standing on the beach, you excepted my ring of love, and the gift of my collar, and I thank you for both.

Owning you comes with great responsibility now I must look out for two. The mistakes I make now effects both and not just one.  I now must take the steps to improve our lives in the home and out. I must take great care when making decisions. I must do what is right for both Master and Slave.

You have giving yourself without question, and I see daily how proud you are to wear your collar, public or private. You are a Slave and you walk with great pride.

Your collar is locked just like our love for each other. Our love and respect for each other will continue to grow, our M’s relationship will continue to grow.

I feel everyday we are as one, while we are apart I feel as if something is missing from deep inside. It is only replaced once I am home and I hold you, only then do I feel complete.

I own you Arianna, and I do so with great pride, and Honor. When I walk through the door and you are kneeling I look and I am thinking there is my wife, my slave my property. I own you. You as a Slave have adapted to my way, you follow without question.  You are my Slave. You have giving up all rights, you are now able to be free. I own you.

You follow my rules with a great need and passion, you follow my protocols without question, you have excepted punishment without question. You have giving yourself to me. You are my Slave

Image Vile & Arianna

30 Days Of Submission

Posted in 24/7, 30 Days Of Submission, abuse, Adapt, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, Be who you are, communication, Dominance, Dominants, Master, Meeting a new Dominant, Patience, Protocol, relationships, Respect, Rules, Self-Discipline, skirt no panties, slave, Submission, submissive on January 18, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is where you write your own book. Your 30 days of submission. This should be giving a great deal of thought before you even enter your relationship.

How do you see yourself as a submissive? How do you see yourself living as a submissive ? How deep do you want to submit ? Do you just want to submit in the bedroom only ? Do you want to submit outside of the bedroom ? Do you want 24/7 submission ?

If is up to you for the most part keeping yourself in that submissive mode. What rituals would you like to implement on a daily basis, rules for yourself to keep you in check. What protocols do you want to put into place ?

Remember once you enter a relationship and you have a plan, you this submissive will have to adapt to the Dominants way, his surroundings, his needs and wants. You are there to follow.

At times you do not feel submissive and staying in that frame of mind is not always an easy task, so putting a game plan into action can make all the difference in the world. You in a way can put your life as you see it into place.

Once you enter a relationship or lets say your in the process of entering a relationship you should go over everything with your potential Dominant. How you see yourself in a relationship, and what it is you want out of the relationship. Remember everything you do effects not only your Dominant but you as well. You have to get just as much out of the relationship as your new Dominant.

Most how ever do not think about the 30 days of submission until they have already entered the relationship. Sometimes that works but for the most it does not and if it does it turns out to be a one way street, and this is not fair to you the submissive. If you just give and give and get nothing in return, what do you really gain?

Your 30 days of submission should never have to stop at just 30 days. You go 30 , 60 , 90 , 120. It is a never ending story, it is your story, it is your life.

If you choose to only submit in the bedroom, why would you try to connect with someone who wants a 24/7 ? If you want a 24/7 why would you try to connect to someone who only wants the bedroom.

This is where your 30 days of submission begins. You have a clear plan and you stick to that plan. Share your thoughts, and get answers for everything.

The world of submission and Dominance can be a very beautiful thing. The ability to be as open as you want, the open communication like you have never had before. The Bond you have never felt. Yes all of this is in your hands. You control the level of submission.

No one can tell you that you are submissive, more so do not let anyone twist your thoughts around telling you that your more of a submissive. Maybe your told you are a slave, when in fact your not , but you will go along with what ever because you feel this is the right Dominant. Never allow yourself to be pushed into a corner, and if you are speak your mind.

This is probably one of the most important things you need to learn. If you are asked a DIRECT question you need to give a DIRECT answer. You need to give a truthful answer, you need to share your feelings. If you are not allowed to speak your mind, or share your thoughts and feelings, then you have the wrong Dominant.

Maybe instead of 30 days of Submission, you should think about doing 30 days of Interviewing , while your sharing your 30 days of submission. Because until you commit to such a relationship you are the one who says yes I can or no I cannot. It does not matter what is said prior to entering a relationship. You should be able to speak your mind.

Another good thing to do is write, not on a daily basis, or hourly but when you feel like it. This book should be yours and only yours. This is your private get away place, your own little world.

The book would be called The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly . Picture a piece of paper with three lines going down. one is the good, one is the Bad, and last the Ugly. This will help you see things more clearly, and it just may help you understand your own little world. If your filling up the two last then something is wrong, and then and only then should you start to question yourself. Then and only then should you share your concerns. After all you are submissive, you are not a Slave.

The difference between the two is a huge difference. You as the submissive has the right to speak up when things are not going as planned. You have the right to say hey wait a minute we did not agree to this. You do have that right, just as you have the right to open and honest communication.

You the submissive before entering a relationship should already have a list of rules in your mind that you would like to follow. What is going to help you thrive? What rules are going to benefit you you as a submissive ? What rules are going to help you in daily life ? Share these ideas with your new Dominant.

Protocols , when that word comes up most people just shrug their shoulders. Why do I need protocols ? Protocols are stupid. Well Protocols help keep you in that mindset , they help with your submission. Depending on the protocols you have depends on your state of submission. These are some of the things that should be in your plan when meeting someone new.

Listen to me , because when you first meet someone and you already have your plan in place. The new Dominant will know you are not a push over. He will know you know what your talking about, and your not going to be an easy target.

When asking questions make direct contact with his eyes, and make sure you get direct contact with yours. If his eyes are drifting or looking around, that is not a good sign.

Now most will say before you meet, there will be no eye contact, you will address me as Sir. Wear a skirt with no panties, high heels. Again this is not the case because you do not know if this Dominant is for you. Addressing someone as Sir is earned, it is not giving.

The Good, The Bad , and The Ugly your own book, write it and stick to it. Do not I repeat do not use an eraser. Once you have your thoughts and ideas down stick to it.

I can assure you if you stick to your plan things will work out to your advantage. It may not work out in the time line you want, but it will work. Having a plan before hand will make a huge difference. White writing your book before entering a relationship you can make changes, because as you are writing you will grow inside, you will grow daily, weekly and monthly. It is okay to make changes, but before entering a relationship have your book finished. Most of all make sure your new partner is willing to follow your ideas as well as you follow his. The two of you need to work together.

I am not speaking about a Slave although a Slave should have a game plan as well in the type of Master they are seeking, but a Slave is looking for total submission. A Slave wants a master to take full control, so please do not confuse the two.

If you think for a minute you may be a Slave you need to do some hard soul searching because once you cross that line it is real hard to walk backwards.

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Vile

I own Everything

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, consequences, control, controlling, Dominants, Friends, Humiliation, I own every hole, Kink, kinky, Master, Master And Slave, Masters, Pain, Respect, slave, Submission, submissive on January 9, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A very good point was just brought up.  About the lifestyle, either you are or your not. If one is just playing the fantasy it will not work. Both have to be willing to make the needed changes.

Drama free…stress free…. yes, this is so true. This is the goal. The first few months or even the first year may be a bit of a roller coaster, but as you both mature in your roles, the drama subsides. If it doesn’t, then one or both people are acting the roles not living them. If the sub is acting out just to receive a “punishment” and the Dom doesn’t see through it, then it is just role play and bedroom fun. Thank you Vile.

I keep hearing from different people how we have a very unique relationship. I cannot see or understand what they are talking about. If you are Master and Slave then you are, or could others who observe us in public just be acting out. Maybe some Dominants do not wish to have such control or maybe they do not want all of the responsibility that comes along with such a relationship.

I was reading earlier and the phrase that caught my eye was I own every hole. That is really the truth, but I can say that every hole was not just giving to me I had to earn the right to say that. There was a major trust factor and Arianna still after a year is still adjusting. She still relives the past at times as I am sure most do. I do not the past is just that. I had good and bad, but I leave it where it is suppose to be and that just happens to be the past.

It is up to you the Submissive or Slave to insure you are with the right Dominant or Master. If it up to you to insure what is being offered is what you need. It is up to you to insure the rules are fair, and that you are able to follow without question. It goes the same for protocols. In the end you are the one who has to either say yes or No. If you should say No that is not for me, you owe no one an explanation. You do not owe anyone anything. Have a nice day I hope you find what your looking for.

To many will jump ship to be with someone, to many make irrational decisions when looking for a relationship and it does not take long to learn you have made a huge mistake. You being open and honest makes the world go round.

In our world there are thousands of levels, kinks, lifestyles. Some are in it just for the kinks, some are in it because they crave abuse. Some are controlling and they prey on those who are submissive. The bottom line everything is on your shoulders.

We are Arianna and I Master and Slave we do live it 24/7. I am not allowed down time while she is. I cannot just turn something off I am me. The Slave however does need downtime , they need to be able to clear their head, relax, go out shopping with family or friends, without being texted every ten minutes. The Slave needs time to breath interact with others.

As Dominants and Masters our only concern should be our property and nothing more. The submissive or slave should always come first without question.

I do not need to go out with the guys, although I I wanted to I would, I am not into bars, well maybe a Titty Bar from time to time, but if I wanted to go Arianna would go with me. I get all the people food I need at work and that is where is stays. Outside of work we have zero in common.

To those who are seeking a live in submissive , or slave. You need to think things out really clear, and you need to be able to walk the walk and talk the talk. Because once you take on the responsibility it is yours, and it would not be fair to jump ship in the middle of a mess you made yourself.

Many submissive’s or Slaves are afraid to speak up when they first meet someone. All you have to say is thank you for the dinner it was nice, lose my number. It is that simple you just walk away you owe nothing, your dept is paid because he was lucky enough to have dinner with you. He was lucky you graced him with your presence.

We Arianna and I are not unique we are who we are and who we choose to be. I have my ways and she chose to live my way, my rules my protocols, and share my same thoughts.

I have never called myself Master, that was something Arianna wanted to do, I never demanded she call me Master. None of my emails begin with master. My email for wordpress is viledesires62@aol.com my fetlife is vile as well . We have grown to need labels, we need that type of control or most do anyway.

I desire to be in control, I have the need to be in control. but with that control comes a great deal of responsibility and that is taking care of one.

I am no better than any other Dominant, we just all take things to different levels, we all have different needs, and we all expect different things out of our property.

Most I mean a great deal of those who are submissive will take most anything that is handed out, including pain, humiliation, never being called back or emailed. Most will except everything just because they have the need to please.

I can tell you this if your one to take advantage of such a gift and you do not return everything you have , you will get yours in the end, and you will have no one to blame except yourself.

We are all unique we are all different. If we were all the same it would be pretty boring.

To say I am different in front of 14 people kinda offends me. To call me out or my Slave kinda offends me. You call me out because I live my life different ? You call me out because you want the same thing, the same life, but your not man enough to grasp the idea of what it takes ? That offends me.

Maybe it should not offend me because I have something they do not and they want. Maybe they envy me and my way of life ? Maybe they think I take the lifestyle way to serious ? Maybe offend is the wrong word, maybe I am misinterpreting the whole thing.

I can tell you this every Dominant who has asked me. How do you do it ? Once I start to explain I can tell after about five minutes I have lost their short attention span.. Because after the first three minutes or so it is just much work or to much time to invest.

So with everything I give, and the little I take or expect in return. I can say without a doubt I do own everything. I own every hole.

This is in noway a bitch session, just something I have been thinking about for sometime.

I am not so different, my way of life is and what I expect from my relationship.

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Vile