Archive for the Rules Category

Training Is On Going

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, commitment, communication, compatibility, control, Dominants, Domme, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna on October 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You read you hear the word Training on a regular basis. You hear how some have been trained , you hear about those who want to be trained and why they want to be trained.

I have found over the years even though I had a mentor , I had some training I had to go through , more of a self training , things I knew I had to make improvements and different areas ..

At one time I had a very bad temper , it took me years to get it under control, it took me years to learn how to channel anger into positive thoughts. This was a must after all if I could not control myself how was I going to control someone else?

The first thing a Dominant will tell you is he is in full control, then comes the screaming and yelling calling you a stupid bitch, or at times even getting physical.

At times I have to make changes to Arianna’s daily activities , maybe adjust a rule a protocol , I change something up. I may see an area that needs improvement. I make the change many times without even saying anything, or her even knowing, that is how well I know her.

Just as a submissive’s or Slaves training is ongoing our role as a Dominant or Master is ongoing as well. I know on a daily basis there is something I learn, I want to gain more knowledge be it about life in general or about the lifestyle.

There are three major downfalls when it comes to any relationship, the first being communicating, second Trust and third anger issues, and for anyone to Master all three is nearly impossible.

Past relationships can cause your current relationship to crash and burn, if you bring either of these three with you. Being able to freely communicate is so important, the Dominant must allow theirs to openly communicate about anything without fear of retribution, if you cannot then maybe you need to rethink your current relationship.

There are those who crash and burn their relationship on purpose, I have a friend who has told me several she will purposely sabotage the relationship, just because things are going to good… I suppose this stems from past relationships that included abuse.

If I cannot control myself , if I cannot control my emotions , if I cannot control my temper , then how can I control someone else ? If I cannot control my own life, if I cannot make the correct decisions , if I cannot show respect , if I cannot be truthful , if I cannot be honest ? Then how can I expect someone to submit to me ?

The tables turn when it comes to the submissive or slave, you have to be upfront, you have to be able to communicate, you have to be honest , truthful, but most of all you have to want.

I would imagine or I know being Dominant or Submissive without knowing what or who we are can be pretty confusing. I knew early on I was different but until my early 20’s I never gave it much thought. I assumed every woman wanted to be tied up, spanked and fucked in all holes without asking. I saw women as an object to be used just for pleasure, and in some cases even a hobby.

Once you start being able to figure everything out most things begin to fall into place, then meeting people with the same interest. That was the time and point I started to grow , slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together..

What makes the lifestyle so awesome is we find our own place in life we need to be, it allows us to be who and what we are. It allows us to open up , communicate and share with others. I know for the longest I felt pretty lost not really having anyone to talk to, or sharing my thoughts with anyone.

Even dating It was hard to express my feelings and emotions when I did not even know what was going on inside my head, and there were not many woman who understood me.

What I have learned over the years is to try and understand others, while I may not agree we should take the time to learn when it comes to different kinks and fetishes. Today it seems we are to quick to judge others instead of trying to understand.

It was not until my early 40’s it hit me when thinking how training really hit someone , you actually change someones way of thinking, you change the way one acts, talks, walks and the way one dresses. You take things away and give as you see fit. We guide , we train , we give rules , we give the promise of being there , we communicate and yes at times we punish. This is a lot of responsibility , this is a huge task , and at times staying on task can become a task.

Over the years I made mistakes, I made a lot of mistakes and I made some over and over.  Something I never did though was blame someone else, I knew when things went south it was my fault, but by the time you catch the mistake it is to late to take control again, mainly because the sub as seen that side of you.

You can only train someone if they want , need and are serious, if the sub is just going through the steps you are wasting your time and neither of you are able to reach your goals. I always started out with small task to see what the frame of mind was. I was and did not intend to go through the motions just to get my kicks, my time was way to valuable..

What type of Dominant are you looking for, maybe a Daddy , a Top a Dominant a Master all of these are things you need to consider. If your a Baby Girl why would you enter a relationship with a Master ? If your a Bottom why would you enter a relationship with a Dominant ?

What makes you a Baby girl ? What makes you a submissive or a slave ? What makes you just a Kinkster ? The Dominant or Domme should ask the same questions , what role does one want to fall into, where is the best fit, how much responsibility or control do you want..

What do you want out of being trained ? What are your goals ? What are your needs ? Has the training process been explained to you ? What does the Dominant want out of your training ?

The question is , What Do You Want To Do With Your One And Only Life ?

viledesires62@aol.com

focused

Vile

 

 

Continuing Training

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, communication, consistent, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your ssubmissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Just as a job we tend to get comfortable and at some point and time we start to slack, we tend to do less, we start to believe we are not replaceable but the fact is we are.
The same goes for a relationship we get comfortable , we start expecting what we once valued as a gift, our partner just wanting to please. Last week I spoke about the Resetting of the relationship , mainly D’s and M’s but I suppose some vanilla could use the same thing..

I call it continuing Education and as we know things are changing daily, we change, our needs become different and at times more extreme. Right now again Arianna is exploring ways on how she can deepen her submission even more. While she thinks this would be added work to me that is not so, everything else is already implemented.

Something else I wanted to touch on we as Dominants or Masters we all march to the beat of a different drum. We all have our own way of doing things, we all have different visions , needs and wants.

While at a Munch Arianna and I sat next to a D’s couple who are pretty new to the lifestyle and that is what I told him, March to your own drum you have to be happy, find what fits you.

In the lifestyle we grow almost on a daily basis, our needs change, so it is up to the Dominant to step up to the plate and make changes.

So lets say the Dominant is in a happy place , but his submissive comes to him and says hey I think I would like to give up more control, or maybe add a few more rules or protocols.
It may be the Dominant does not want to add more to his plate , but he will also have to evaluate the needs of the submissive. Even though he may not want to take on more, our number one objective is to insure their needs are being met.. There has to be a time when we as Dominants have to look at a bigger playing field and give more even if we do not see the need..

Training is a type of Behavior modification and it takes time , it will not happen over night a week , or even a month. It will take the two a month to get everything worked out…

I run a very strict house , protocols , structure and believe it or not only a handful of rules. Last week Arianna was questioning her submission, stating she could not see her submission, at times she felt less submissive.

I put a plan together , the BDSM reset I spoke about a few weeks ago. I started taking things away. The first to go was the furniture, second she was giving a Dog bowl to eat out of not every night , but at a time I picked so she did not know until we were ready to eat.
I did however allow her 45 minutes a day on the couch after work, but there was a catch. She likes taking a nap in the afternoons after work, along with surfing the net on her phone and tablet.
She had 45 minutes on the couch but there had to be a choice, her phone, table or nap. She had to choose her time wisely..

Yesterday while she was laying in the floor she had a moment, as she sat on the floor she started thinking about her submission and she realized she had no down time at all, she was able to see not only her submission but her task, her protocols, her rules it seems with just a few days everything came to light.

While laying in bed talking she said you really know me, you knew the effect it would have on me, you knew how I would react, and she was correct.

Just a slight change in our daily life made Arianna open her eyes and she realized just how well she had it made.. It made her think and it only took a couple of days.

Training is an on going tool we as Dominants use to keep our house running smoothly…. Training on a daily basis keeps structure in the home.

We are all different , we all have different needs , what we all need to do , is while we may not understand others we should respect their lifestyle. In our world there is no wrong way, and just maybe if we try to understand those we don’t it may allow us to grow.

Something to think about, what type of training did you receive ? How did your training effect you ? How did your training change you ? Is your training consistent ? Do your rules benefit you ? Are you put first in your relationship? Do you have access to your Dominant 24/7 ? I feel these are all important…

train

Vile

What Type Of Submissive Are You.

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Structure, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive, Submissive Brat, Submissive kitten, The Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive's, What type of submissive are you on July 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

On 12/23/2012 , Wow time really flies when your having fun yes ?

I found a article on tumbler that caught my eye , although I may not agree with everything , I do agree with most. In our lifestyle it is really hard to pin point who and what we are , mainly because we are revolving on a regular basis , daily , weekly , monthly and so on.

I think it would be hard to give a full description of who and what you are when it comes to the lifestyle. One thing that is for sure is you are who you are and you need someone who is a perfect fit.

The post is called The Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive’s

Type one would be the Little Girl Submissive , please not this has nothing to do with incest or Pedophilia, it is a personality , but there are some who find this type of relationship offensive. I know in the past I have spoken to subs and slaves and when I just brought up the topic the conversation was over.

Second was the Tame me submissive which I find to be bogus  , this is a mindset a submissive will have after doing some reading or speaking with others who are submissive. The truth is not many Dominants will put up with such attitudes.

Type Three: The “SAM” Submissive – A “SAM” type submissive, also known as a Smart-Assed Masochist, is just that, a smart-talking submissive with a quick tongue. Again this type of attitude I believe is short lived , because there are not many Dominants who will put up with this type of attitude.

Type Four: The “Brat” – The “brat” is different from the tame me type and the SAM type in the fact that they are overly-aggressive, smart-mouthed and frequently rude, they have no intentions of submitting to anyone’s authority or discipline, except that of their partner. This fact, however, does not stop the brat from continuously harassing every dominant and most submissives with which she comes into contact. This type is very rare and again there are not many who will put up with such an attitude. These types of relationships are short lived…

Type Five: The “My Master is God” Submissive – Also known as they “I have a master and you don’t! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah” type of submissive. These submissives are of the opinion that their masters can do absolutely no wrong and that their master’s word is as good as law and that their masters know everything there is to know about everything. The “My Master is God” type of submissive frequently spends inordinate amounts of time talking about their masters..
Okay I cannot think of anything to add here…

Type Six: The “I am Slave, Hear Me Roar!” Submissive – These are absolute, prodigious, epitome of any submissive type. Don’t call the “I am Slave” type a submissive, though, they don’t like that very much. In these slaves’ opinions, there is no other submissive group that can possibly equal their level of commitment, sacrifice, talent, experience or will to submit.
Okay these are those who think their way is the only way….

Type Seven: The “True” Submissive – The “true” submissive is often the culmination of the desires of every dominant figure around this person. The “true” submissive is often shy, under spoken, docile, servile and absolutely willing to do anything asked of her. The true submissive is usually aware first of the wants, needs and expectations of the dominant figures around her and not concerned as much with her own wants, needs and expectations. The true submissive is frequently inexperienced, untaught and looking to be pleasing by being perceived as the ‘expected’ norm that a submissive should be.

I am going to edit this to the True Slave. Seven describes Arianna to a T, as a matter of fact when I first read this , It made me think of her.

So we all have labels , some have titles, some want a label but are unsure where they fall within the lifestyle.

Just as there are different types of submissive’s and Slaves there are different types of Dominants each has their own role in their life and the lifestyle, each has different responsibility’s and each has different levels of care. All Dominants are different , some are strict , while others are not. Some are more physical , others are not.

I was speaking with a Dominant not long ago and he told me he was a sensual Dominant , and I had to ask , what the fuck is a sensual Dominant ? His Ball Park his Game.

A submissive had said something about going into sub-space and her Top was not there for her. While I do somewhat feel bad , I had to explain he is a Top and not a Dominant , there is a huge , huge difference. A Top is Dominant in most cases during play or maybe not even dominant, but once the play is over and finished so is his role, hes done… There is no reason to be upset at the Top….

If your going to play outside of a relationship your head has to be in the right place. Playing I mean with someone you know and trust. The closer the connection the more likely your going to experience Sub-drop if your going home alone.

Dominants while I have heard of Dom drop I have never experienced it myself. I am not saying it cannot happen it has just never happened to me. In some ways I could understand how it could happen but in other ways I cannot.

While you may put a label on what type of personality you have , once your in a relationship and you are trained your Dominant or owner will define who and what you are.

A submissive contacted me who said she was a brat who is rebellious and was hard to handle , no when I add those two together it equals Bitch wanting your way…

People are to quick to judge when they do not understand something , or some may think their way is the only way, when in fact that is false.

prayer

Vile

Sex And Submission

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, emotional, fetishes, fetlife, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, kinky, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, Protocols, Rules, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You take someone and mold them into one meeting all of your needs. Changing ones behavior to meet your needs , changing ones way of dressing to fit your needs, changing ones way of their thought process to fit your needs, teaching someone to fit your needs when it comes to service. Teaching someone how to please you sexually.

Teaching protocols which I am huge on , rules that are followed, protocols and rules that want to be followed, is the path you should want to take.

We all have different needs and wants , while the submissive or slave has needs, if the needs are met there are no wants. That should be your goal as a Dominant and a Master.

Every submissive is not a perfect fit, just as every slave is not a perfect fit, nor is every Dominant or Master , but the good news is there is a perfect fit for everyone , it just involves what many do not have and that is patience.

When entering the BDSM lifestyle not only a lot of thought should be giving , but a lot of care as well. In today’s world most relationships are formed via the internet. I do understand but again much more care needs to be giving. Behind a monitor we can be whom ever we want to be, our confidence level is much higher , we feel less vulnerable, almost powerless , we feel more in control of our emotions.. When meeting someone via internet the chances of it actually working is very slim , but it does and I have seen it work but for the most it does not. Meeting via internet everything is not fully disclosed , and it may not even be on purpose, but it is missed.

The downfall of most relationships are a lack of patience, even more so in out lifestyle, but the one key element that is looked over is having a clear definition of who and what you are. Having a clear definition of what your needs are , a clear definition of the type of relationship you need to survive on a daily basis.

You as a submissive may meet a Sadist but you are not a Masochist , he may be the nicest person you have ever met but you are not a fit and if you move forward the relationship is doomed even before you start.
You may be a submissive only in the bedroom , the Dominant you met on line may be looking for a Total power exchange , or TPE, again he is not the perfect fit.

Submissive meets Dominant online , maybe meet once then the submissive up and moves most of the time leaving most everything behind , only to find out she was no longer in Kansas.
The painting is no longer a painting it is a unfinished drawing that has been in the works for years, all of this because of that one word Patience.

When entering a relationship it has to be adventitious for both not just one , it has to benefit both not just one, both have to have their needs met not just one. Again you need to have a clear definition of who and what you are.

Although it is a give and take relationship , and that being true in any relationship , I believe it runs much deeper in a D’s or M’s lifestyle. The care is much different and in most cases the communication is not only much different but much more deep.

Many times a Dominant or Master will say I want to train you , but soon after entering the relationship that one word is forgotten, and no training ever takes place but it slips your mind as well because you do not have that clear definition.

A good friend of mine Lizzy emailed me a couple of weeks ago , because she wanted me to speak with a Dominant who was pursuing her for a relationship. The second email he sent her , which she forwarded to me he was explaining that sex was the most important part of BDSM. He also did not understand why she had someone listed as a sister on her fetlife profile, when in fact they were not sisters. The Dominant contacted me in the beginning but after that statement he was told to contact me again and he did not , mainly because his fake cover had been blown.

The courting process before entering a D’s or M’s should be friendship first, compatibility means everything. You never let someone try and define who and what you are, if you are allowing this again you do not have a clear definition of who and what you are.

The Negotiation Process , this is where you find out if your compatible in the lifestyle. This is where the Dominant lays out his training process, this is where he lays out the expectations of the relationship , this is where he will tell you his protocols, his standards in private and public, his beginning rules for you, this is where he tells you about his needs , his kinks , his fetishes , his sexual preferences. This is where he draws you a clear picture on how he sees himself in a everyday D’s or M’s relationship.

You may have a hard limit when it comes to humiliation. You may have a hard limit when it comes to sharing, you may have a hard limit when it comes to anal sex , or being face fucked. It could be a number of things or maybe somethings are negotiable.
If you say no i will not do those things and the Dominant is firm in his needs then you are not the right one for him and there is no reason to continue the thought of having a relationship.

Anyone who knows Arianna and I know we are a perfect fit, what makes us a perfect fit is I understand her, I understand her thought process, I understand what makes her do the things she does, but most of all I understand communication is needed. I know when to talk , I know when to ask questions , and I also know when she needs to be left alone so she can think and clear her mind. I say yes more than I say no , but when I say no I mean it. When she has one of her manic days at times I let her run, but I know when to reel her back in, so at times saying no is not an option.

I did train Arianna to fit my needs , I did train to fit my wants. I trained her sexually to do the things I like without being told what to do and when to do it. She follows my protocols , my rules to a T. I control everything but at the same time I am fair and I can assure you I give back more than I take. I put a great deal of work into our relationship to insure it runs smoothly.

I give Arianna down time when I think it is needed to visit family and friends , I do not try to isolate her which is a bad habit of some dominants , and that is mainly because they have insecurity problems.

Respecting ones limits , this is something that is looked over way to much and the main culprit is a lack of caring or just simply not giving a fuck. The not respecting ones limits happens mostly when two are not in a relationship. What does someone care after a play session where you get really fucked up either mentally or physically the odds of ever seeing them again are slim to none.

While sex plays a huge role in any relationship , sex is not the foundation when it comes to a D’ or M’s. When I met someone if there was any resistance in the way I saw a relationship the conversation was over because I refused to bend.. If many did the same they would see life in a much better place…
Make no mistakes it is you the submissive or slave who has to adapt

earn

Vile

Master And Slave Behavior modification

Posted in 24/7, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Giving Head, Gorean Portocol, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, provocative, Rules, Self-Discipline, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on April 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have covered this before , but I would like to go into a little more detail. I am not by any means an expert , nor do I have a PHD. What I do have though is almost 25 years experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I have played many different roles , the only thing I have not done and never will is be in the submissive role.
Some will argue you have to be submissive before you can be a Dominant and I find that statement to be complete hog wash. I have filled the Sadist role, I have been a Daddy Dom , A Dominant and a Master , owner of Property. Each role is very different , each role needs different care , but what they all have in common is they all require communication and honesty.

I have done years and years of research, met thousands of people in the lifestyle some good and some bad , some real and some fake. The one thing that is for sure you have to take your relationship serious. You have to know without a doubt what type of relationship you need , not want.

Behavior modification
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
For the journal, see Behavior Modification (journal).

Behavior modification is the traditional term for the use of empirically demonstrated behavior change techniques to increase or decrease the frequency of behaviors, such as altering an individual’s behaviors and reactions to stimuli through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior and/or the reduction of behavior through its extinction, punishment and/or satiation. It is similar to operant conditioning but with the absence of the antecedent. Behavior modification is now known as Applied behavior analysis (ABA) which is more analytical than it used to be..

http://www.livestrong.com/article/234171-examples-of-behavior-modification-plans/

Basics

Behavior modifications plans will vary depending on the individual and the behavior or behaviors that need to be changed. Behavior modification plans will include reinforcers, which are consequences that increase the behavior, and/or punishments, which are consequences that reduce the behavior.

Here comes a word I bring up in just about every post, can you spot it ?

Consistency

When developing any type of behavior modification plan, it is important to keep in mind the ease of use. For behavior modification plans to be effective, they must be followed with consistency . Therefore, if the plan is hard to use, the likelihood that it will be effective will decrease because there will be inconsistent follow through. Okay maybe you missed it ? consistently , Consistence.

During any training the key is consistency if you the Dom or Master are not consistent you will fail and it will be your fault.

No matter your degree of submission you are going to go through some type of behavior modification.

Okay so BDSM is not medical and we certainly not shrinks by any means , but we are not only Dominants Masters or Daddy Doms , we are giving the responsibility and have agreed to take care of someone.

Now you the Dominant if you have any plans at all , in introducing any type of Behavior modification during your training this is something you should cover during your negotiations.

Adaption is a form of Behavior Modification , submission is a form , or just in general your employer.

When you speak in terms of BDSM your life takes a 100 degree turn, the way you talk, act , walk , speak, dress and in most cases even your hair color. Speaking of sex you will go through a few changes , now the sex is on your owners terms, the way you fuck , the way you suck cock, the way you lay , and at times when your allowed to cum.
Sex is on my terms , many men think with their dick and some would crawl naked through broken glass if they thought they were going to get a blow job, that is a true sign of being weak , and weak minded.

We train to fit our needs and wants , we train to fit your needs. Training can only be successful through positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is a reward , you have done well, you are doing good thank you for all of your effort, you will make me a good slave. I really appreciate the effort you have been putting into our relationship.

I have covered in great detail about Arianna’s training and today it is on going. It is funny when I first met Arianna I asked her, how do you see your self as a salve? Her reply was she did not know. I asked her if she had any ideas about what she wanted out of training and her answer was no.
I then explained as we grew together and we learned each other she would have questions and things she would want to try and today that statement proved me right. Arianna is always trying to come up with ways to deepen her submission. The truth is she would rather be chained 24/7 and just used for pleasure and service.

Recently ahh about 3 months ago I required Arianna to speak in thirds , Speaking in thirds is mainly a Gorean protocol , while I am not Gorean I do use many of the lifestyles protocols. Speaking in thirds is a reminder of not only who Arianna is but what her position is in out relationship. Now she never uses the words I or me, it has been replaced with she or your slave. While she had second thoughts about being able to master such a task , Arianna has perfected it.
Did it happen in a week ? Of course not , did it happen in a month ? Again no it did not , did it happen in two months ? Again it did not , did I punish her when she messed up or forgot ? The answer is no I did not punish her. You have to remember I changed her whole thought process as far as speaking and thinking before she speaks. The harder=est part was being able to change her speaking process when around family and friends, I can assure you that is or was not an easy task. Everything is done through Positive Reinforcement

Rules that are attainable not out of reach , unrealistic will break a relationship. To many rules can cause a over load and cause a mental crash. The Dom spends more time waiting on a rule to be broken then training.
Rules are a type of Behavioral modification , your taking bad habits and replacing with good habits and again the is done through positive reinforcement , security , structure, communication , and rules.

You have to determine how far and deep you want to go with your submission. You have to determine how much control you want to hand over , you want to make sure your needs are met because if they are you will have no wants.

One last thing i want to add is , if you do not live together the above is nearly impossible to achieve. The Dominant really has no control over you and you will grow tired of trying to please someone who is not there.

train

Vile

You Both Should Adapt

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, Adapt, adapting, anger, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Bond, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, consistent, Dominants, Fantasy, Humiliation, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Rules, sex slave, slave, Submission, submissive on March 14, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Let the negotiations begin. Every relationship be it Vanilla , D’s ms’ Baby girl has negotiations. This is the time you spend getting to know each other, feeling each other out , likes and dislikes. favorite foods , movies , music , hobbies is any , work habits good and bad.

In a D’s or M’s it is just slightly different because the relationship is more in depth, there is much more involved in the relationship. Now we have safe words , now we limits. Now we have rules , protocols , some Dominants are strict while others are not.

How are you going to be used in a D’s or M’s relationship, maybe in service , maybe just for sex , there are several different factors you need to look at.

I have stressed many times before it is very important to become friends first before you speak about anything that pertains to BDSM. Are you into bondage, humiliation , pain is a biggy? Are you into following strict rules ? Maybe you don’t swallow , or do anal , all of these are Negotiations , and these are things that have to be worked out prior to entering a relationship.

If there is enough in common or the Dominant feels there is enough in common he may wish to move forward even if the submissive or slave has certain limits they are against. In time limits can be renegotiated , but more so a good Dominant does not change he can simply adapt to somethings in a new relationship.

I believe a huge misunderstanding is about the 24/7 relationships , new relationships. It is the submissive or slave who has to adapt to the new ways. It is the submissive or slave who has to adapt to their new surroundings.

The negotiations should continue until both have agreed to enter a D’s Or M’s relationship….

Limits should be pushed but respected, Limits are part of the Negotiations and the submissive or slave should stand by theirs. If you are totally against something or something makes you feel uncomfortable then speak your mind. One thing you should never agree to something in fear of the relationship not working out. The good thing is I can assure you once in a stable relationship some of your limits will pass. You will want to explore that sense of freedom.

You will never change a Dominant , in some cases he may change his way of thinking , when it comes to training, and putting rules in place but a total make over will never happen. At times he may adapt to certain situations if he feels the relationship is moving forward in a positive direction as well.

Many times in any relationship we tend to take other for granted , we tend to forget the small things and we begin to just expect everything, the small things are no longer appreciated. This is when the communication break down begins and the relationship starts to fall apart and if not caught in time it will fail and both are to blame.

Stress brought on by those who think they are submissive , but in reality it is just a fantasy , those putting up resistance during training , not following rules because they think it is a joke or not taking the relationship serious. You may like the Dominant but not the lifestyle and you expect him to change , and that is not going to happen. The relationship fails and all the blame goes on him, while all along it was you who caused the break down.

Bruce Lee once said. If you want to learn to swim jump in the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you..

BDSM And Fetlife

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Bdsm events, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, control, controlling, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, etiquette, exhibitionism, exploiting your slave, Fetlife Groups, Humiliation, MAST, Master And Slave, munchs, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Rules, slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used on March 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I thought I had found a place where I fit. I thought I found new friends well I was hoping anyway. Someone I could speak with on the same level and someone who truly understood where I was coming from.
Before sending a friend request I wanted to get to know the Master a little more. I wanted to see where he was coming from , and what his feelings were.
I had even gone as far as inviting him and his slave to dinner , mainly because we had so much in common…

I need that interaction with others in the lifestyle , I need to be able to relax , talk about things we have in common or just shoot the shit

The Master has not been active in the local community but I was willing to look that over , again things in common, we were on the same page of what an M’s relationship was all about. He is starting a new group and I was going to go as far as to promote it for him so we could get a good group together.

There are not very many Dominants who think or feel the way I do about the lifestyle , some even say I am somewhat unorthodox in my ways, or I am to strict , I need to let up a little , give Arianna some breathing room.

All in all I am me and nothing is going to change, I am who I am and I am completely happy. Right now I am in a good place and I do not see things changing anytime in the future.

So I have been on Fetlife for several years now. I have had one other profile but it has since been taking down now for a couple of years. I belong to about 21 groups and I have about 40 friends 90% of which I have met.
There has not been a group that has caught my eye until last week.

MALEDOM Central Florida…. Description:

A central Florida community of Male Dominants and female submissives that operates under the belief that “women exist to be the property, servants and playthings of men”

Okay so I am in the game so far , because this for the most is what I truly believe. I have believed this since a very early age going back to my teens.

Basic Membership Rules:
*Only 100% Dominant Males and 100% submissive females please, no switches.

*Females is defined as “having a vagina.” Post op transsexuals are always welcome, however no submissive men may join, including sissies, crossdressers, and pre op transgender. If you have a penis and are submissive, this is not the group for you.

*females will address ALL males respectfully and submissively at ALL times, addressing them as “Sir” unless otherwise instructed.
1. This is one of the problems I started to have with the Moderator of the group. The way I look at it is we are all different so I am not here to bad mouth anyone. We all have different point of views when it comes to the lifestyle , but unless under my direction Arianna does not and will not address another Dominant as SIR. That is part of my protocols and those who have been in the lifestyle for any time knows and understands my way of thinking..

*This group operates under the firmly held belief that “women exist to be the property, servants, and playthings of Men” so all members must share this mindset.

*Dominants must be courteous regarding other Dominants property, but all females will be treated as just that, property. females will always interact with Dominants without arguing, backtalking, or giving sass. There will be no expectation of respect, fair treatment, courtesy or politeness to property. females have no rights to ANYTHING here.

Here is the second problem I had , now mind you him and I have been texting and things have been going smoothly. Again we had a lot in common or so I thought….

Now he is new to the community as far as being active , so I am not sure how long he has been in a M’s lifestyle we never got that far.

Here are some more things I found troubling. I am The Master of Arianna , I am the owner of Arianna, and she is my property. Although there may be times I ask for advice I do have the final say in all matters…..

ALL females, whether owned or not, must wear a collar to ALL events. If they are not owned this is to signify and reinforce that they are property, not people, and certainly NOT equal to ANY male. Once inside any private event, all females will be expected to immediately strip down to panties or change into revealing fetishwear. If any Dominants would prefer their property to be dressed differently at an indoor, private event, please contact Master Joe at 555-555-5555, and exceptions can be made. If no prior arrangements have been made, females will be expected to strip down to panties and collar or revealing fetish wear at the door.

*ALL females will help serve at events and will be available to get drinks and food for Dominants. Any Dominant who wishes to remove His property from this group service for a period of time may do so by putting her on a leash or lead. Any female not on a leash or lead may be ordered by ANY Dominant to perform simple NONSEXUAL service (get drinks, move chairs, etc) and must immediately obey.

*No female will be required to participate in any sexual play (unless her Owner orders it, of course). If a female is available for play or open to sexually serving Dominants other than hers, this can be demonstrated by attaching a pink ribbon to her collar. A pink ribbon does NOT require a Dominant to allow His property to participate in any play and is used only to indicate that asking her owner is welcomed and not offensive. Any female without a pink ribbon attached to her collar is understood to be unavailable for sexual service or play with others and MUST NOT be ordered to and her Owner should not be asked as this is very rude and offensive.

*Please be courteous with other Dominant’s property. females are property and playthings and deserve no respect, however, if a female is owned, please remember that her Owner DOES deserve respect, so all Dominants please act accordingly.

Now the above

His group , he is the moderator , but I do find a few things wrong, okay wrong is not the right word. Maybe I would do thinga a little different..

While I do agree with 95% of the above there is 5 % I do not, and I will explain why.

I blogged last week I think it was about exploiting slaves and submissives , and the above is a form of just that. There are some factors you have to look into and respect being one of them , and then you have the mental side of things. Just how much can your property take? Although I do believe at times some humiliation is needed to keep things in check, but never in a public setting.

So shortly after Arianna and I met I began to put protocols in place as well as a few rules. Some of the things she wanted clarification on , was sharing , and being exposed in front of others, and if I would be taking on other Slaves as well ? Those are all good questions so I answered all of them , No Sharing , she would not be exposed and I had not thought about taking on another slave nor would I unless she brought it up and she has.
In the end I gave my word and for me to go back , well it would not look very good, and I lose that trust we have built. Rules once in place there is no changing , I have the right to add or amend if asked but I am head cheese.

There are no Dominants or Masters I know of who would agree to have their property topless at a gathering and be at other Dominants beck and call. I would never allow such a thing to go on.

Finding the right partner is hard enough for Dominants , Master , Slaves and those who are submissive. You cannot go back on your word.
In the end our partner , our submissive , our slave , our property, we are the only ones they can turn to and they need to know we are going to be there.

Again I am not here to bad mouth anyone. I did read in the rules though exceptions would be made if contacted and in my case there were no exceptions.

cuffed

Vile