Archive for the Safe Call Category

Red Flags

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, bdsm, Fake Dominants, Married Dominant, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Call, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags on July 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

There have been a string of Deaths in the BDSM community over the last year. Two recent was a man in Tennessee who died after being bound and left alone for more than 20 hrs. His wife is being charged , or has been. The idea was probably his but she should of been there the whole time.

Then the recent suicide of a 22 year old submissive. I will call her Pocketmouse the few times I met her she was a very bubbly soul, with a lot of energy.
Once you enter into a relationship it is only then the true colors start to come to light. Once you move in things can change from good to bad at the blink of an eye.
Some have even said well they can just leave, well you know it is not always that easy. Most feel trapped and they have no where to turn, and the abuse just continues to grow and one feels smothered.

Okay , so most of my blog is not about kinky shit, its not about how I fuck my slave.

Just as people stand on the street corner and scream at the top of their lungs Jesus saves. I do the same when it comes to violence and abuse..

If I bore you or you do not agree with me, then don’t click on the link. If you think I am wrong then speak up, although I think I know everything I just may see it your way. Anything is possible.

I found this on Fetlife someone shared it and gave permission to use it…

It gives a ton of warning signs to look out for. It does not have to be everyone of them, if you recognize just a few seek help…..

You can even reach out to me…..
viledesire62@aol.com

In light of and in response to the recent incident in TN and other incidents that have come to light, I’m posting these red flags. Take heed no matter how you identify yourself; s-type, D-type, Top, bottom or anything in between.

•Tries to separate you from your friends, family or BDSM community.

•Avoids talking about personal details. Gets mad when you ask or quickly ends the conversation or answers questions with questions.

•Has no BDSM references or friends you can talk to. Gets angry when you ask for references or ask around about them.

•Is inconsistent with details about themselves. Does not give you their home and work phone number at the appropriate time.

•Only communicates with you at strange hours and gets mad if you try to contact them at other times.

•Criticizes the BDSM community and refuses to participate, especially if they never were part of it.

•Consistently breaks promises. Always finds excuses for not meeting.

•Always puts blame on others for things going wrong. Does not take personal responsibility.

•Has bad relationships with most or all of their family members.

•Pressures you into doing things you do not want to do. Does not respect your limits, negotiations or contracts.

•Pushes you into a D/s relationship too fast.

•Falls in love with you way too fast and swears undying love before even meeting you.

•Hides behind their D/s authority and says that their authority should not be questioned.

•Tries to make you feel guilty for not being good enough. Says that you are not a “True” sub.

•Loses control of their emotions in arguments and regresses to yelling, name-calling and blame.

•Puts you down in front of other people.

•Turns instantly on their friends, going from best friend to arch enemy at the drop of a hat.

•Treats you lovingly and respectfully one day and then harshly and accusingly the next.

•Goes to great lengths to get revenge on people.

•Lies or withholds information.

•Cheats on you or is overly jealous.

•Will not discuss what your possible future relationship could be like. Tries to keep you in the dark about what might happen next in the relationship.

•Does not respect your feelings, rights, or opinions. Belittles your ideas. Blames you for your hurt feelings.

•Abuses alcohol or other drugs.

•Is constantly asking for large amounts of money from you or others.

•Threatens suicide or other forms of self-harm.

•Deliberately saying or doing things that result in getting themselves seriously hurt.

•Monitors your communications (emails, phone calls, chats) with others.

•Only interacts with you in a kinky or sexual manner as if role-playing. Will not have normal everyday vanilla conversations.

•Never shows you their human side. Is emotionless. Hides their vulnerability behind their D/s role.

•Has multiple online identities for interacting with the same communities.

•Disappears from communication for days or weeks at a time without explanation.

•Is rude to public servants such as waitresses, cashiers and janitors.

•Never says thank you, excuse me or I am sorry to anyone.

This is NOT copyrighted material. Please copy and distribute freely.”

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php/24……

abused 62

Vile

You Should Be Scared

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Dating Sites, Consensual, consequences, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Master, predators, Rape, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Call, slave, submissive, Vile Woods on FaceBook on May 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sometime last year I made the statement that a Submissive should ask a Dominant for references, prior to exploring anything physical. Someone made the comment that it was stupid to ask for such a thing because you do not ask a vanilla male for references. In my eyes there is a huge difference when it comes to dating a Dom VS a Vanilla male. The vanilla your probably going out to eat and a movie, the Dom and the submissive is probably going to get their kink on.

There are thousands of rapes everyday, some are very brutal, and some do not have the opportunity to go home or to the hospital. A lot of you out there are mothers, more of you at some point in life want to be mothers, have a family.

You meet a new Dominant on line and you plan on meeting. He wants you to wear the shortest skirt you have with no panties, and if you agree your chances of being raped have just jumped up drastically , not meeting in a public setting your numbers have just jumped up even more.

It is a good feeling when you think your about to meet the one, you have probably been searching for sometime and most of the Doms you have been talking to are not local.

Wearing a short skirt with no panties does not have anything to do with being submissive. Wearing a short skirt with no panties does not prove you are submissive.

Most of you at least end up sucking cock in the Doms car the first meeting, then there are some who even agree to get a room to start your training.

Think about this for a second you do not even know this man, you do not know anything about him, except what he has told you.  He has told you he has been in the lifestyle 5,10,15 or even 20 years.  Again this is what he has told you, and you have to believe him because you have not asked all the questions you were suppose to because you feared that you would upset him or make him mad.

When your sitting in the car and the Dom makes the statement , well lets start your training as he is unzipping his pants. Something in your head has to be thinking. This cannot be right, is this really part of training? The bad thing is you are not going to question your just going to do it. Now those who have been in the lifestyle for any amount of time will call his bluff or just tell him to fuck off.

You agree to get a room, with a man you have never met. Your chances of getting hurt has just shot up. Now you may or may not walkout. So what is your life worth? What is your family and friends worth?

You decide to play, you let this man you just met tie you down on the bed spread eagle, your gagged , you don’t have to be blindfolded just gagged. What the fuck is going through your mind right about now?

If you have done any kind of real research then you would know that no respectable Dominant would even go through a scenario like this. You would know, no real dominant would of even brought play into the picture on the first meeting.

Some of you have played just like the above mentioned and you came out okay, but some of you know exactly what I am talking about, some of you have been used and raped. Those of you who walked out okay, you can be thankful , those of you who have been raped you have to carry that memory the rest of your life. While I have met a few it did not bother I have met those who it tortured. Even after the bad they still continued down the same path, with the same experiences.

Meeting a Dom for the first time, going to a room with him, allowing him to tie you up, gagging you, make you fair game. Your chances of being hurt is now about 50/50 maybe more like 70/30 or even 80/20.

I had a friend who had been talking to a Dom on line for a while and agreed to meet him. The first meeting yep a room. They could not go back to his house because he was married. Once finished the bed covered in blood, he told her to get cleaned up and get the fuck out, when she came out of the bathroom he was gone. The bad thing is she did not even know his real name. The only thing she knew was he was married, and did not find out until that night.

You cannot let your emotions run your life. Entering any type of relationship requires a great deal of thought, but to enter a BDSM relationship where the trust factor is so great. Okay any type of relationship requires trust, but to allow someone to tie you up, someone you just met, it just does not make sense.

Okay I will back track a little here, there are some Doms who are not active in the local community, while this maybe true, they do know others in the lifestyle, and these are questions that should be asked. For a Dominant to say he has been in the lifestyle for ten years and not know anyone, yea that does not carry to much weight, but if your new then why would you even wonder how that is possible.

Good things comes to those who wait, anytime you make a rush to judgement the outcome is rarely good. A good thought out plan will serve you much better, but you have to stick to that plan.

You can save yourself a lot of heartache , you can save yourself a lot of drama, and problems, but most of all you can keep yourself from being hurt

A D’s or M’s relationship can be very rewarding, it can be very exciting, it can be everything you have ever imagined and more, I know I am living the dream. The difference is I had a much thought out plan.

Safety should be your first concern, and submitting to someone on the first meeting is not being safe.

Always make that safe call………

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Vile

 

Make That Safe Call

Posted in bdsm, Make a safe call, Meeting a new Dominant, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Call, slave, submissive on December 18, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

We all have a friend, we all have a friend we can call or text. We all have a friend who is close to us, some may even know about your lifestyle even if they are not into it. Somethings you share, and some you do not.

When meeting a New Dominant for the first time. The first thing you need to make clear is that once you have met face to face, you are going to make a call to a friend. You are going to give his name first and last, the address you are at, and if you want take a picture of his tag and send all this information to a friend.

Your thinking is he really serious, this has to be a fucking joke. I would never do such a thing. Well why wouldn’t you ? We are talking about your safety. We are talking about meeting a complete stranger. Okay I suppose in a vanilla setting you could want to do the same thing if you met someone on line, but chances are a dinner and a movie will not get you hurt. Going to a motel and allowing someone to tie you up and do what ever they want is a bit different..

Some of you think I am over reacting, maybe you think I am crazy, but I am going to guess you would be to embarrassed to aks such a thing. You may not have the nerve to ask such a thing, if that is the case have your friend make the call, and let the Dom know your checking on you.

So if the Dominant has nothing to hide and he has serious intentions he will not care, as a matter of fact he will encourage you to do so. He will not get upset nor will he get angry.

He could say well don’t you trust me ? Do you think I would hurt you ? Okay so how do you know? At this point your really not even sure what to expect.

A safe call should be standard practice, your safety is what is important. If no one knows where you are at, then no one will know where to look for you.

Have fun, fulfill your needs, get your kink on, but just be safe. That is not asking much.

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Vile

Your A Slave Seeking A Master

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, anticipation, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Bipolar, Bondage, Chat, communication, Consensual, controlling, Conversation, Dating, Dominants, emotional, Fake Dominants, Giving Head, Impact play, Master, munchs, No Panties, No Rights, oral sex, Patience, Rape, Safe Call, Security, slave, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick on September 22, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is probably one of the hardest task you will even endure in your life. This is probably one of the task you will make the most mistakes while you are searching.

I am not here to brag about who or what I am, I am okay with myself, I know who I am, I know what I am about, most of all I know what I need from my partner and out of life.

The hard cold fact if you put 100 Dominants side by side and you had to guess who were true to the lifestyle and lived it daily what would you think the numbers would be? 90 maybe 80 maybe 75 or even lower 50, well neither of those number even close lets say 3 or 4 . Now don’t spit your drink out just yet, because you can hit a bad snag and the numbers could drop even lower.

A while back I had a post similar to this and a woman disagreed with me when I said a Dominant should not mind providing references, be it old flames , people in the lifestyle, what local events he attends, the list goes on and on. There is nothing wrong with asking these questions.

The female who disagreed with me I was okay with her answer, everyone has a difference of opinion. Okay you meet a vanilla guy you go out to eat, a movie, maybe the beach at night, maybe you go to church together, or he invites you over to meet his parents. That is the Vanilla world.

Meeting a potential Master is not like meeting your AC man. You are meeting someone who is or could have full control over your life. You are meeting someone who could take away all of your rights. I am not speaking about those who are submissive, but it still goes along the same lines.

Most of all never let a New Dominant try to put a collar on you the first meeting, this is nothing but ego, would you marry him on your first date I would think not.

First things first Bondage can be very dangerous , impact play can be very dangerous, breath play can be deadly, again you are not meeting the preachers son who was introduced to you through your parents.

People die every year from S & M play, you do not die from eating a banana split sitting outside of Dairy Queen. So to aske questions upfront is perfectly okay.

A real Dominant that you meet via the net will not bring up the subject about sex right away, this is a very bad sign if your 15 minutes into a conversation and sex comes up. At this point he has no other interest in you.

Laying on your back and spreading does not make you a submissive, on your knees with a mouth full of Dick does not make you submissive. Talking dirty over the phone does not make you submissive, sending nude photos of yourself does not make you submissive, nor at this point and time do you have anything to prove. The new Dominant has everything to prove.

I have received a call at 2am a slave wanting me to drive 250 miles to pick her up because she had been raped and beating, and yes I did even after I had told her not to meet this dude, so she ended up with a broken Jaw, and a few ribs.  Rape happens to be very common when it comes to fake Dominant most know the act will go unreported just because you do not want to tell why it happened.

You have to become friends that is the first. What do you have in common, food, movies, maybe travel, flea markets. If you start out in a sexual relationship guess what? That is all you have and it will be short lived.

Here is the kicker, if you are a submissive or Slave who is on any type of depression medication, maybe your Bi-polar , you have to find someone who is understanding, a Dominant with compassion, and most important a Dominant with a great deal of Patience a lot of patience. Someone who cares about where your coming from, what your thinking someone who will make you talk about your thoughts and feelings. If you suffer from any of these disorders some parts of S & M may not be suitable for you, but you do it anyway because you want to please.

If you suffer from any of those disorders you need a well structured home, rules are good, unless all your rules are sexually based. You would be very surprised at what a difference a well structured and drama free home would make on your well being.

Other signs when you first meet a Dominant, most Slaves want and need to be number one, then there are some who do not mind if their Master is married, but if your looking for a single Master there are signs that will tell you.  One being you cannot call except on certain days or hours, or you text and you hear nothing for a couple of days. He will not show you where he lives. He will not take you out with his friends. You do not receive a call on your birthday, or holidays, again the list goes on and on.

There is nothing wrong with asking, what makes you a Dominant? Avoid those who demand you call them Sir at the beginning of a conversation. Being called Sir is respect and that has to be earned. Those who demand such things are ego driven.

Rules are meant to help, rules are meant to put structure back into your life. Rules should not be sexually based. When first meeting someone do not send nude pics, there is no reason. I have never asked for nudes, that takes all of the excitement out of meeting someone new.

In a new relationship I usually start out with 5 or 6 good rules, sometimes less, I take old habits and make good habit, this is the first part of training. as the relationship progresses more can be added if needed. You can implement to many rules and make the Slave feel overwhelmed. We do not want to set anyone up for failure.

Another question that pops up is are you Bi do you like girls? It is okay to say no and that should not be a deal breaker, ask the new Dominant if he is Bi and look at his reaction.

The most important thing to remember is you do not have to submit when you first meet a new Dom, you don’t have to suck cock in the Denny’s parking lot to prove your submissive. You don’t have to fuck on the first date to prove your submissive. you don’t have to wear a short skirt with no panties when you first meet to prove your submissive. I asked that shit when I was in my 20’s.

Take your time and do not settle for less. Your not buying a new car or a house. You are looking for leadership, security, most of all someone who will understand you and takes care of your needs.

Let me tell you this if you do not set up precautions before you meet someone and you end up in a hotel with someone you really do not know the situation could really turn ugly and fast . You might find yourself tied up and no place to go.

Set up a safe call with a friend, good idea, once your at your destination take a picture of the address, the tag on his car send it to your safe call. If nothing else this will make the Dominant think twice. Better yet you can be upfront and tell him what your plans are, he should be perfectly okay with your plans, if he objects any then make other plans for the night.

 

Vile

Arianna’s Safe Word

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, blindfold, Body Tape, Bondage, Duct Tape, Flogger, masochist, Master, Safe Call, Safe Word, Scared, session, slave, Spanking, submissive on April 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Back in the day I was a full blown Sadist. My first Slave was a total Masochist, with no limits.  As I look back on our relationship there were things I did that I am not proud of today. I did things that I would not attempt or ask of another today. Over the years I have moved away from being a Sadist to more of an M’s relationship without the pain.

Cherri being my first and it was like a game with no rules, although she did guide and instruct me on how and where to hit. I learned much of what I know today from Cherri. I have said all of this before. I was with Cherri for almost seven years, and I never fucked her. I did not want that close feeling, and there was just something about her that did not sit with me right.  Now she did suck a lot of dick, that was a daily thing, as well as Rimming. As far as sex nah I was just not into her like that.

I did allow others to use her. I had two close friends a male who for what ever reason had no luck in picking up women, and an older Domme who had a clit the size of Dallas.

At one time I was feared, a lot of subs and slaves were scared of me. I remember one night I was at a Chinese restaurant with a date, and a friend of mine showed up with a girl, as we were talking his girl said wait , did you use to live in that house on robins street. I said yes for about six years. She started shaking and told Jerry she wanted to go, she did not want to be around me. Then my date looked at me like what the fuck is she talking about.

Over the years I calmed down a lot, , but I did not know if I was capable of having a normal D’s or M’s relationship. I found it very difficult to break away from the pain game.

Then I learned that it had everything to do with feelings. Feelings for the other. Why would you want to hurt someone you cared about? Although I do know Sadist who are Married to Masochist, and they seem to be doing just fine. Another thing most Sadist are poly, having more than one partner.

Once again the poly thing I do not understand. I mean if you have the whole package at home, why look for another.

Now the Safe Word thing, this is a huge controversy, and most in the BDSM community strongly believe in using a Safe Word. Okay so in someways I do still consider myself a Sadist, maybe once a Sadist always a Sadist, it seems you never lose that title.

Those Dominants just entering the lifestyle should use a Safe Word and the Submissive or Slave should insist on a Safe Word. I believe if you are in a long term relationship you get to know your partner and their limits. You know what they can take and what they cannot take.

Well then I am told, you need a safe word so you can push their limits. Each time you session you want to push their limits more than the last time. I myself disagree with that method.

When in a long term relationship more so if you are living together, you form a mental bond, you know what ones limits are, and you care what their limits are, or you should. Pushing one to far I believe can be departmental to ones mental state, I do believe there is a breaking point, and that fear emerges . Once you bring that fear out, it never goes away, just like someone who beats a dog on a regular basis. The dog will cower when called.

I do get rough at times, sexually speaking, but as far as pain, not so much. I can tell when I am starting to spank to hard, and I stop.

The other day we were in a session and I wanted to tie Arianna up. I wanted to know she could not get loose no matter how much she tried. So first red body tape. Clear and about as wide as duct tape. First the wrist almost to the elbow. Then the feet, ankles to midway up the chin. Then my favorite the almighty duct tape. I never put duct tape directly on the skin because it can rip the skin coming off. Then the Blindfold, red body tape, then duct tape, she could see nothing. I have a bull whip that I un-braded, I unwrapped the handle cut the leather strips and made a flogger, I love it.

I am totally quite, just walking around looking down at Arianna, I reach over and lightly touch her and she jumps, she has no idea what I am about to do. Then I reach for my flogger and I start to run the leather up and down her body. Then I begin to strike her with the flogger.

Then I hit right above the clit, Arianna has my first initial cut out in the pubic hair above the clit which is awesome. I strike again then I hear two words. OH FUCK.

Yep Arianna;s safe word, she has had enough, so I stop immediately, no questions asked. OH FUCK that was her breaking point.

Now if I were to play with someone new, or someone I had never been in a  session  with I would insist on a safe word, because I do not know what their limits are. I have been told I am a Masochist, and I reply well you have not met a Sadist like me, so yes a safe word.

While in a session, the Dominant should be in full communication with his partner, so he can insure their safety. Even while in sub-space communication is more important then.

One day I may share some of the things I did with Cherri, I am just not ready yet. I will say if any of you has seen the movie Strange Land with Dee Snyder that would say a lot. Again nothing I am proud of and I would not enter another relationship like that again. I have had other Dominants ask me to session with their slave, just because of the Sadist in me, but I decline.

I like the place I am in. I am content, I am happy. I am me.

 

Vile

Verbal and Written Slave Contracts

Posted in 24/7, abuse, bdsm, communication, Fear, Health, Honesty, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Call, Safe Word, Sane, Scared, selfish, sharing, slave, Slave Contract, Verbal contract on December 12, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Slave contract is something I have not seen blogged about here, so I wanted to give my input on the subject.

There are those who truly take the lifestyle very serious, and feel more comfortable when a slave contract is in place. Then some Dominants feel they need that kind of power in place for what ever reason. Then at times a slave who does not know any better will agree, just to please.

The most common is the verbal. Some Dominants who need this kind of power will try to impose such conditions on a new submissive or slave. The slave really has no idea, and has probably ran across a contract on the net at some point. The verbal contracts are usually taking to the extreme, and can change on a daily basis to fit the Owners needs, just as rules seem to change to fit the owners needs.

The second is the written contract. Why this is really needed I do not have a clue. I suppose it could make the slave feel more secure, and needed. Truly feel owned to have a purpose.I would never ask for such a thing, I may consider if it was something the slave felt it was a need.

Before you enter a relationship, you pretty much lay all the cards out on the table, so each knows what to expect. Both know their places, so I really see no need for a contract.

Under some contracts a Dominant at times takes things to an extreme. Timed sex, oral, and even sharing. Cleaning , cooking, and so on, everything is timed. The slave has no down time. The contract usually goes one way and has no true benefit for the slave. A one way contract.

Many slaves will sign or agree to a verbal out of fear. Either losing someone they care about, or the fear of punishment.

It does not matter the contract, the slave has rights as well. This is over looked way to often, and most Dominants will fail to bring that part of the contract up.

The slave has the right to have an open line of communication.The other day I said something, and Tish asked if I could clarify what I had just said. The slave has the right to be safe at all times. The slave has the right to refuse to do anything that may cause harm or be illegal. The slave has the right to refuse anything that may put her career in jeopardy. The slave has the right to a safe word if they should choose.  The slave has the right to not be shared.

The other day a Friend of mine who owns three slaves came to visit from Daytona. He did bring his favorite with him, and his main topic was Tish. Instead of him asking he had his slave bring the subject up about sharing. I made it very clear I shared nothing. I do not mind someone looking, but to touch is totally out of the question. I knew why he had her bring it up. He knew I would not get upset with his slave, or say anything disrespectful. I can understand his way of thinking. Tish has a body built for sin..

I then brought up the question why one would need to own more than one. His answer was to add spice.

Before I enter a relationship I lay everything out on the table. My needs and what I expect out of the relationship. That is my spice. I get anything I want at home, so there is no need to stray.

Below is a sample contract, kinda mild compared to some of the others floating around out there.

Sample

Author Unknown

NOTE: It should go without saying that a “contract” such as this is not legally binding. Documents such as these are intended only to provide a fantasy environment for extended role-playing.

1.0.0 Slave’s Role

The slave agrees to submit completely to the master in all ways. There are no boundaries of place, time, or situation in which the slave may willfully refuse to obey the directive of the master without risking punishment, except in situations where the slave’s veto (see section 1.0.1) applies. The slave also agrees that, once entered into the Slavery Contract, their body belongs to their master ,, to be used as seen fit, within the guidelines defined herein. All of the slave’s possessions likewise belong to the master , including all assets, finances, and material goods, to do with as they see fit. The slave agrees to please the master to the best of their ability, in that they now exist solely for the pleasure of said master .

1.0.1 Slave’s Veto

The slave, where appropriate, holds veto power over any command given by the master , at which time they may rightfully refuse to obey that command. This power may only be invoked under the following circumstances, or where agreed by both master and slave:

  1. Where said command conflicts with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest, or prosecution of the slave .
  2. Where said command may cause extreme damage to slave’s life, such as losing their job, causing family stress, etc.
  3. Where said command may cause permanent bodily harm (see 4.0.0) to the slave .
  4. Where said command may cause psychological trauma to the slave, such as a rape scene for a slave that has been raped in the past.

2.0.0 Master’s Role

The master accepts the responsibility of the slave’s body and worldly possessions, to do with as they see fit, under the provisions determined in this contract. The master agrees to care for the slave , to arrange for the safety and well-being o f the slave , as long as they own the slave . The master also accepts the committment to treat the slave properly, to train the slave, punish the slave, love the slave, and use the slave as they see fit.

3.0.0 Punishment

The slave agrees to accept any punishment the master decides to inflict, whether earned or not.

3.0.1 Rules of Punishment

Punishment of the slave is subject to certain rules designed to protect the slave from intentional abuse or permanent bodily harm (see 4.0.0). Punishment must not incur permanent bodily harm, or the following forms of abuse:
1. Blood may not be drawn at any time. Punishment must stop immediately if blood is drawn
2. Burning the body
3. Drastic loss of circulation
4. Causing internal bleeding
5. Loss of consciousness
6. Withholding of any necessary materials, such as food, water, or sunlight for extended periods of time

4.0.0 Permanent Bodily Harm

Since the body of the slave now belongs to the master , it is the master’s responsibility to protect that body from permanent bodily harm. Should the slave ever come to permanent bodily harm during the course of punishment or in any other slavery related activity, whether by intention or accident, it will be grounds for immediate termination of this contract, should the slave so desire. Permanent bodily harm shall be determined as:

  1. Death
  2. Any damage that involves loss of mobility or function, including broken bones.
  3. Any permanent marks on the skin, including scars, burns, or tattoos, unless accepted by the slave .
  4. Any loss of hair, unless accepted by the slave .
  5. Any piercing of the flesh which leaves a permanent hole, unless accepted by the slave .
  6. Any diseases that could result in any of the above results, including sexually transmitted diseases.

5.0.0 Others

The slave may not seek any other master or lover or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without the master’s permission. To do so will be considered a breach of contract, and will result in extreme punishment. The master may accept other slaves or lovers, but must consider the slave’s emotional response to such actions and act accordingly. Under no circumstance should the master allow such actions to unbalance the slave emotionally, or allow such actions to result in ignoring the slave .

The master may give the slave to other masters, provided the rules of this contract are upheld. In such a situation, the master will inform the new master of the provisions stated herein, and any breach by the new master will be considered a breach by the master as well, subject to all rules stated in this contract.

6.0.0 Secrecy

All physical evidence of the slavery will be kept in total secrecy, except where both master and slave agree. Any violation of this clause shall be cause to terminate this contract, should the injured party wish it. The materials and physical evidence shall be kept under lock and key in a place acceptable to both parties.

7.0.0 Alteration of Contract

This contract may not be altered, except when both master and slave agree. If the contract is altered, the new contract shall be printed and signed, and then the old contract must be destroyed.

8.0.0 Termination of Contract

This contract may be terminated at any time by the master , but never by the slave, except under special conditions explained within this contract. Upon termination, all physical evidence of the slavery, including this contract, will be destroyed, and all materials and belongings shall belong to the master , to be shared or kept as they see fit. The slave , owning nothing and having agreed to give up all worldly possessions and body to the master , shall once again own their body, but nothing else, unless the master decides to give back their possessions.

9.0.0 Slave’s Signature

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to give everything I own to my master, and further accept their claim of ownership over my physical body. I understand that I will be commanded and trained and punished as a slave, and I promise to be true and to fulfill the pleasures and desires of my master to the best of my abilities. I understand that I cannot withdraw from this contract except as stated in this contract.

Signature:____________

9.0.1 Master’s Signature

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this slave as my property, body and possessions, and to care for them to the best of my ability. I shall provide for their security and well-being and command them, train them, and punish them as a slave. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to the slave as long as they are mine. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time.

Signature:____________

Image

Vile

Are Sadist Cruel And Un-Caring

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, bdsm, Bond, clit, control, controlling, Dominants, events, Fake Dominants, Friendship, hoe, Home made toys, Humiliation, Make your own Flogger, masochist, Master, Masters, Meeting, Mentor, Mind Fuck, munchs, nipple pump, Pain, references, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe Call, slave, submissive on September 24, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I re-Blogged this from http://daddysnaughtylittlegirl.wordpress.com/2012/09/23/in-search-for-a-dominant-fake-fraud/

The Sadist

These guys are really scary.  They genuinely want to hurt you.  There is nothing romantic or loving about them.  They enjoy watching others suffer, both physically and emotionally, and have contempt for those around them.  They relish the humiliation of their victims and are naturally duplicitous.  Because most find sexual satisfaction in their sadism, they can disguise themselves as Dominants.

I see this as putting all Sadist in the same category, even profiling if you will. I disagree with this statement 100%.

We are all different when it comes to the lifestyle, that is why it is very important for us to find someone we are compatible with .

First of all, You can be a sadist and not be a Dominant, you can be a Dominant and not be a sadist, or you can be both. To say all Sadist are ruthless, uncaring, and they just want to hurt and humiliate you, is really a false statement.

While I do know some Sadist who are very extreme, the play is done with a masochist. It is not to say that a sadist would not meet a submissive and could cause harm, but for the most this is very untrue.

With me if you are a submissive, and not a masochist we can still play, sex probably not, I have to have a connection. If I am just in a session, I like to please. I enjoy seeing one get that high, slowly slip into sub-space. More so I enjoy the after care. After care is very important, this prevents sub-drop. After care should not just be a tool used after playing, it should be part of the everyday relationship.

If you are my slave, you are the center of my world I have stated this before. The slave always comes first, no matter what. The slave has an open line of communication.

A Masochist has needs just as a Sadist has needs. I believe in this type of relationship the Bond is so much greater, because both give so much, both can feel what the other is feeling. The trust is so much greater.

This is not to say that a bad sadist is not lurking, but the same is with a fake dominant.

I agree with TheDomNextDoor On the first meeting a slave should have a safe call, a friend she can trust. When she leaves her place and when she arrives at the dominants house, and should be allowed to make a call during the visit. He should also not mind if she takes a pic of his tag, and send it to her safe call.

You never I mean never let a dominant book a room for the first meeting. Yea Ive heard it before, we have chatted, we talked on the phone, we have so much in common, he is what Ive been looking for.

Let me tell you something, if you allow a man to book a room, more so who you have never met. Take you inside tie you down, you know what, you are fair game at this point, bound, gagged, and blindfolded. You have no idea what is going to happen. A safe call may not make a difference. If you allow this to have you are just fucking stupid.

A Dominant should be able to provide references on the spot as a matter of fact I am going to add a couple one from a dominant and one from a slave. He should not have to stop and think about this question.

I like to take a new slave to a munch, and introduce her to friends of mine. While letting her get to know others who are submissive.

Some say well I don’t like to go, I do not like the interaction , or I cannot go because of my work. These are like minded people, Blue Collar workers, white Collar workers, Doctors, Lawyers, shrinks, we come from all forms of life.

The toy thing that was brought up. I make a lot of my toys, from floggers to spreader bars. I am not going to pay 100 dollars for a pair of spreader bars when I can make the same thing for 20 dollars, ball gags, Nipple pumps, clit pumps 5.99 at wal mart. While I do have some toys I have purchased such as The Violet wand in the sum of 1200 dollars and a couple of tens units.

Sometime ago I blogged about a slave named Kim who just basically showed up at my door at 3am. I am flattered by the way that she felt the way she did. After a couple of sessions, she approached my friends wanting to know how to make me change, they just looked at her dumb founded.

Okay so I do have a heart well kinda sorta, I just did not want to say hey you got to go. We had nothing really, more so no sex, I just did not have that connection.

So here came the mind fuck I blogged about, it really dome more damage than I thought it would, that I feel kinda bad about, but in the process she tried to ruin my name. Telling others I had no control, I lost it with her I abused her. Fucking what ever..

So here we go…

Hey Man

list of conversations

Leland
Leland 49M
New Smyrna Beach, Florida
written 14 days ago:

Hey first thing, I just wanted to bring something up, it caught my attention the other day while we were talking. It was about the pain thing.
Looking through your pics, I have to say while I admire, I am not really into leaving marks, I have in the past, my first was a Masochist some 20 yrs ago, she taught me much of what I know today, a real pain slut I suppose, more into humiliation. We saw each other for about 6 or 7 yrs.
Although everything was new to me, in the beginning the humiliation was fun, but it got to be more of a job, because each time we saw each other, I had to out do the last.
Kim gave me a pretty bad rep Craig, although I do enjoy some impact play at times, I never left a bruise on her. Breast play was out because , she said they hurt to bad to even tie up.
Although I do enjoy rough sex and bondage, along with a little humiliation, I have never hurt anyone, nor would I even think of hurting another.

I have a blog it has been up for about 4 months now, with 16K in visitors and about 70 people following. Most of my blog is about safety and Submissive’s ,it does get out there sometimes but safety is first.

I was seeing a submissive for a 9 months she was married a Jehovah Witness yup thats correct.
There is a Dom who lives in Edgewater SirXcalbar on my friends list. Lyn and I went to his house one night and I allowed him to use an evil stick on her, I used it a couple of times, but it really marked up her breast. I like Calbar much respect for him,
I guess what I am trying to say man is I am not the cruel sadist that some have portrayed me to be.
Am I strict ? yes. High Protocol ? yes. Am I abusive? No.

I have met this Chinese American she goes to UCF 21, well the guilt has set in, we have dated a couple of times, she has wanted to play, but I cannot bring myself to it.
Any thoughts?

Craigash
Craigash 52M
Orlando, Florida

Leland, I think the Kim thing fucked you over. I never thought you were dangerous and I know you get off on the mind fuck. Anybody that has a question about you, I would be happy to vouch for you and never hesitate. As for this new girl, I think if you are interested then go for it and don’t hesitate because of an untrue past. You are a man in control of yourself so just follow your own rules. If she says stop then you stop but I don’t have to tell you, you know more than I do. Be yourself and go for it…you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

From a submissive really read this one..

Leland

Check this out

by Leland

A submissive called me who lives on the west coast, we have known each other for more than 5 years.. She was contacted by a dom named thebull2k2.

He wanted to meet her, told her that if he likes her she would take his seed right there she had no say in what he wanted to do.. He wanted to make her pregnant a breeder.

Really has the lifestyle come to this..

This is the submissive I have spoken about who I mentor.

First, I want to thank you Leland, for having my best interest at heart. I respect you, and your opinions a great deal. I have wrestled with posting, as this is similar to public speaking for me, but I want to clarify.
First, I did not meet this person.
Second, this Dom may be perfectly respectable, as I thought so through many of our conversations, and this could very well be a misunderstanding. The breeding part is clearly stated on his profile, and was discussed through conversation at length, where it was also made clear that I would not bring a child into this world outside of a committed, loving relationship. That was not, and still is not, what the issue was that I wanted to bounce off Leland.
Third, I believe this post was intended as a reminder for everyone to pay attention. The original meeting that was agreed to was just a ‘get to know you’ meeting. The other terms were not mentioned until a point in the conversation where I really shouldn’t have been paying much mind to what was being said. After it cooled off a bit, I then attempted to question the part that was tossed in about being taken with no time being spent building trust. It was at that point I was told it is the Dom’s choice of when and where he took a sub, that they had no choice in the matter. THIS is what my issue was, and the reason for mentioning the whole thing to Leland, for his words of wisdom. Obviously, there are as many opinions on this as there are people in the lifestyle, however, mine were made perfectly clear in this, as well as previous conversations.
I believe the point of this post was intended to remind us we do have choices. I speak to Leland about many things, including many of the absurdities, I, as a single woman here, receive on a daily basis. Most of them are laughable. Many so called “Doms” tend to use the lifestyle and the title as their right to a bootie call, and nothing more. If that is what you are here for, to each their own. However, many subs who have not yet learned to weed through these and spot the red flags get taken advantage of. Sometimes, even those of us who do know become lax, and let our guard down. I understand his frustration with this. I do think this thread could have been done a bit differently, however, I understand the point was also to remind and protect myself, and others like me, against some of the dangers of not paying attention and rushing into meetings too quickly.
A GREAT follow up would be the nearly day long lecture I had the privilege of receiving from you (Leland) on safety measures! (Typed.. here… I think I am good for a while on hearing it!)
Again, I am honored to be able to call you friend, and to have you as a sounding board, regardless of the lectures it brings me!

SirXcalbar is a very dear and close friend of mine.

Well, there are those who are fakers and use the lifestyle to attract those innocents. However, if she agreed, then that is her fetish and is probably what she seeks. However, I wold not want such an individual as she puts everyone at risk and all safety goes out the door. She does have choices and she does not appear to be very responsible and mature. She needs guidance from those who care and are true practioners and not just bootie calls. @just_jess appears to have received your message and guidance and she will continue to need it to grow safely.

I agree with the guidance SirXcalbar, as with many submissives and slaves. Many are to eager to meet, many to eager to please, just hoping someone will except them if that makes since..

So yes every Dominant should be able to prove who he is, without hesitation.

ImageA slave is very special, very strong, and should be cared for.

Vile