Archive for the Safe Word Category

Fifty Shades Of Grey My Take On The Movie

Posted in abuse, Anastasia Steele, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Collar, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, BDSM Sadist, BDSM Safety, Breaking Rules, Christian Grey, Collar, communication, Inservice submissive, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Movie Fifty Shades Of Grey, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe Word, slave, Slave Contract, Submission, submissive on April 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Anastasia Steele , Why do you want to hurt me ? Christian Grey for your pleasure and um Mine! Those seven words really stuck to me and gave me much to think about.
Okay so Fifty Shades Of Gray is a fantasy , a Book written by E.L James and meant to be only a fantasy , but it is a Fantasy with little to explanation about the lifestyle or the Role of a Master and Slave or a Dominant and a Submissive.

A couple of weeks ago I saw on the news where a college student was raped but another student , and he did it based on the movie , because he thought it was what all women wanted.

There were rules but no explanation on why there were rules and what they were for. Rules without an explanation have no meaning. Again rules are meant to improve.

Christian Grey is a Sadist , and he said as much he did however use the word Dominant , but sadist was used more than once, the pleasure was all about him , and he thought as long as he was getting pleasure the submissive would as well. In the end it was all about Christian Grey…

5 Thumbs up to the NEGOTIATIONS part BRAVO on Anastasia Steele’s part and standing firm in what she would and would not do. This is something that I have been covering over the past couple of years.
When you first meet a new Dominant, Daddy , or Master there has to be Negotiations , and you need to stand firm, because if you do not the Dominant will just run over you.
Our Negotiations were much the same but Arianna was a bit more Docile. In the movie Fifty Shades Anastasia Steele was topping Mr Grey.

Another thing that stood out in my mind that is not the Character of a Dominant , Christian Grey had a very low self esteem , and he was always second guessing himself , and he would give in at the drop of a pin if he thought he was going to lose.
The relationship was about Mr Grey , and nothing more, he had to inflict pain to get his kicks.

I have strummed through the books and nothing caught my interest but the movie was a real tell , tell , and it looks like there will be a part two.

If you watch Fifty Shades , then you watch The Secretary , both are suppose to be BDSM related but only one is and that would be The Secretary.

Jamie Dornan was a very poor choice for this role , his acting was really substandard , and dull. I did like Dakota Johnson , I liked that plain Jane look a real turn on. The girl next door fit very well, but in my eyes she was over the top dramatic, and a little unbelievable at times.

I was waiting and waiting on Mr Grey to bring up the subject of a collar in the movie, and what it was for and what it meant but that never happened.

Over all I gave Fifty Shades Of Grey a 5..

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Scene from Fifty Shades Of Grey Negotiation

Vile

So The Universe Gave Us A Dominant

Posted in Advice, anger, bdsm, BDSM Collar, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Dominant, Flogger, Love, Loyal, Patience, Punishment, Rules, Safe, Safe Word, slave, submissive, The Universe Gave Us A Dominant on March 3, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Universe looked down one morning and clearly saw the submissive was lost, so the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said I need a man who can work a 50 hour work week and still keep his home in good running order, so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who can be very loving, but strict when needed, and be able to control his temper and emotions and still remain strong, so the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said I need a man who can implement rules and give structure , and make the home feel safe, and offer security with open arms. So the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said I need a man who can talk on all levels, interact well with others , and offer his wisdom when needed. So the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said I need a man who is good with rope, one who is able to tie a knot and do it well, a man who can be artistic while exploring the world of bondage. So the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who knows how to spank, and do it well, so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said I need a man who is as strong as a Bull , a man with the memory of an elephant , the wisdom of an owl, A man with enough knowledge to fill a terabyte hard drive , so the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The Universe said the submissive needs a leader, someone who is understanding, caring, loving, a man who is clearly in control, and not controlling, so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who will put his submissive first no matter what , so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who will take what he wants but give much more in return, so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who is skilled with a flogger, and know that spanking is meant to be erotic , so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man with a clear understanding of the true meaning of a collar, a man who knows a collar is earned and not giving. So the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man after hours of play who will provide aftercare, so the universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who can stand tall and not back down, a man who can debate with the best and still remain calm, cool , and collective, and walk away proud no matter the outcome. So the Universe gave us the Dominant.

The universe said I need a man who will hold his submissive when things do not go right, a man who will provide positive reinforcement, and make everything alright. So the universe gave us the Dominant.

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Vile

What Makes You A Submissive

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Be who you are, being used, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, Fake Dominants, fuck meat, Giving Head, Love, masochist, Master, Master & Slave, Patience, Respect, rimming, Rules, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, Security, slave, Slave no rights, Structure, submissive, Submissive Brat, sucking cock on January 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

That question should be looked at long and hard. You are going to step into a whole new world. You are going to go places you have never in your life thought of. Your going to be treated like you have never been treated in your life.

There are things you need to think about before taking that step. Reading about BDSM is totally different than living it, or acting out.

What makes you a submissive ? What makes you think your a submissive ? Why do you have the need to serve ? Why do you need rules ? Would you really follow them ? Why do you need structure ?

Those are things that should be thought out before you begin your search. Again here comes the list things all of the above should be on paper and you should be able to answer each and everyone.

Then comes the hard part. Finding the new Dom. That will probably be the hardest task you will ever come across in your life. Because now you are going to spend a great deal of time weeding out the fakes. This will take you at least two or three relationships. Then you have to weed out those who think they are Dominant but they do not have a clue. Then you have to weed out the real ones. You have to pick out the one who fits like a glove.

Maybe your looking for a Daddy Dom , maybe a regular Dominant what ever that maybe, Maybe your looking for a Dominant who is a sadist, or a Dominant who is more into the discipline part of the lifestyle. Maybe your a Masochist, not every Dominant can fill that role,. Maybe your a Brat, again not every Dominant can fill that role.

The above should go on a list as well, and you should be able to answer each and everyone with a clear understanding of what the differences are. What role each Dominant plays.

What type of relationship do you want ? This falls under all of the things above. How do you see yourself living as a submissive on a daily bases ?

What are your limits ? What are some of your limits but in time you may be willing to try ? Never be afraid to express yourself, never be afraid to tell someone what your limits are, and they had better be respected. Never be afraid to tell someone if your limits are crossed you will walk away.

Remember you are a submissive not a slave. You still call the shots. You still have the right to say what will happen and how. You are submissive not a slave.

Make sure your Dominant keeps his word. After all the first thing a Dominant will tell you is to always be honest, and truthful. Why would you not expect the same respect in return.  If you are promised a call, a visit, a text, flowers, a birthday card, then that is what you should get.

Let me get something straight you the submissive are replaceable , that sounds really cruel, but I am sure most of you have been there at some point in your time. You were dumped without notice, no calls, no emails, no text, your calls were ignored. You were replaced.

The same goes for a Dominant he is replaceable as well. Many men fail to look at that side of the picture. When you enter a relationship you need to plant that seed. You were looking when you found him. You need to stand up for yourself, there is nothing wrong with making sure you get what you need and want out of life, and a relationship.

You are a submissive you say when you will submit, and how you will submit. Most who are in a D’s relationship do not even live together. I did not say all I said most. So why would you as a submissive submit to someone who cannot be truthful with you, or they cannot keep their word.

I am giving you a males point of view, because I have been that asshole, I have used, I have abused. Before the mule kicked me in the head, most of the women I saw and fucked were just meat, and nothing more. Most were just cum dumps, with a functioning cock sucker. I could care less what happened once they walked past my front door.

If you think I am the only one who thinks in this manner if you have dyed your hair blonde, you need to run to sally’s and dye it again and fast

So I sit here almost on a daily basis, giving advice. I am giving good advice. You can call me stupid, you can say I do not know what I am talking about, shrugs I could really careless what someone thinks of me.

It is not impossible to find the right one, it just may take a little more time than your willing to invest, but if your willing to invest more time, it would cut out a lot of heartache , and drama that you do not need.

Limits are very important. You have limits in place for a reason. Maybe you don’t like anal sex and you don’t care to try it. Maybe you refuse to RIM, maybe you don’t swallow , no matter the case you need to share your limits and explain that they will not be crossed. Why because they are replaceable.

The Slave factor is a total different story. Arianna is not into pain. Being a sadist at one time, I still have those tendencies, but I respect her way to much to hurt. That is a limit I have, hurting my toy. With the exception of pain and a few others that are normal, Arianna has no limits. That was something that was discussed when we first met. I covered each and everything in great detail so there were no questions. The only answers giving were Yes Or No. Apparently she answered more yes’s than no’s because she is still here , and will be for many years to come.

If your in a relationship and you have to step outside of your circle to ask for advice. Guess what? Your in the wrong relationship. You do not have the communication within your circle to make it work. That means you never had the freedom to express yourself, or your feelings. Now comes the replace part.

You can ask Arianna about the past Dominants she has met, more so the ones she has met while with me. She can see a clear difference. She will tell you how many times her ass was beat and left black and blue, the pain she endured. So there is more than just you who are having or have had problems. Guess what ? Arianna replaced them. You can do the same.

If you are not getting the attention you deserve, the communication, the play time you need. The you need to open the dictionary and look up the word replace.

You can make your search very simple, or you can drag your life through the mud. You can be relaxed, or your life can be full of drama. You have to decide what side of the fence you want or need to be on. Your the one dealing the cards.

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Vile

BDSM And The Law

Posted in abuse, assault, bdsm, BDSM And The Law, Bondage, communication, Consensual, Deception, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Fear, https://ncsfreedom.org/, https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html, Humiliation, Impact play, Law, munchs, non-consensual, owning a slave, Police, Rough Sex, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, session, slave, submissive on January 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a very touchy topic, because if something does ever come up, the outcome depends on your first five minutes or so with the Authorities. The police at your front door.

Your playing one night and you get into a deep session , and things get a little loud. The next thing you know someone is knocking on your door. You open it and there stands the men in blue, holding a flashlight, and the questions start rolling.

What you say in the first 30 seconds depends on whether you the Dominant is going to jail or not. When speaking always make sure you have eye to eye contact. What is more important call your submissive to the door with you.

The submissive should only speak when spoken to, the submissive should only give direct short answers while not volunteering any information.

We are two consenting adults taking part in sexual play nothing more. We do enjoy rough sex but nothing more. The term BDSM should never come up, the word sex can.

Second you do not have to let them in your home, even if they should ask, you simply say no. Remember what you say in the first 30 seconds depends on a lot. This is something that should be practiced in your head over and over.

Let your submissive speak freely when asked a question, reassuring there is nothing going on except some wild sex. Again you do not have to let the police inside your home.

Now on the flip side of things this is not what these dumb ass fake Doms do not understand. You meet a new submissive and you play on the first meeting. Things get a little to rough, and he ends up hurting the submissive. The submissive picks up her things and goes straight to the police. You Mr. Dom are going to jail, straight to jail you will not pass go and you will not collect 200 dollars.

In our world there is no defense when it comes to the word consent. You will not be able to say well she let me tie her up, and let me beat her ass.

Listen to me, there is no Judge that will let you use Consent as a defense. Do your research. As a matter of fact I will even show you case law and proof. You will go to jail, maybe prison depending on how bad you beat someones ass. If you have a career you can kiss it good bye, if your one of the married ones you will lose everything you have worked so so hard for.

We are lucky to have an organization who stands with us, although they have been under fire recently about their funds as far as being a 501 3c , but they are still there and they are there for the community.

The group is called NCSF National Coalition for Sexual Freedom,for those of you who are new to the lifestyle, you should visit their site and read. They offer a lot of benefits, advice and here is the kicker. They have a long list of professionals that are on your side when it comes to the lifestyle.

These professionals being Doctors , Lawyers , and yes even Psychologist regular MD’s , as well as Counselors and Therapist’s. The group provides many many benefits.

Most of the time when a couple goes to court together the Male or Dom will not even be allowed to use the word consent, the Judge will simply not allow it. It will still be looked at as you got made and you beat your girls ass out of anger.

So you meet this Dom and your in a session, you have giving a safe word you are going to use, such as red. Things get a little rougher than you thought and you scream out RED, and he does not stop. After you are untied if your able to get up, and you decide to go to the police he will go to jail. This is your right. You may have agreed to a session but you did not agree to be hurt.

You should simply get dressed get in your car and go straight to the police. Because if you do not and you just go home, he will think he got away with what he has done. You will not be the only victim I promise you. By you not going to the police, opens the door for him to abuse again.

Here is a link you should look at, it is on the NCSF website and it explains more about the Law and BDSM

https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html

While the group is actively fighting for those who take the lifestyle serious and those who are real, they in now way condone any type of abuse, and they will not stand by you if that be the case.

Several years ago we had a Representative from NCSF come and speak at a local Munch, and there was way to much information to absorb in such a short period of time.

Listen to others and learn. Do not be a victim.

BDSM AND THE LAW

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Certain BDSM activities are considered illegal in some countries.

The relationship between BDSM and the law changes significantly from nation to nation. It is entirely dependent on the legal situation in individual countries whether the practice of BDSM has any criminal relevance or legal consequences. Criminalization of consensually implemented BDSM practices is usually not with explicit reference to BDSM, but results from the fact that such behavior as spanking or cuffing someone could be considered a breach of personal rights, which in principle constitutes a criminal offense. In Germany, Netherlands, Japan and Scandinavia, such behavior is legal in principle. In Austria the legal status is not clear, while in Switzerland some BDSM practices can be considered criminal. Spectacular incidents like the US-American scandal of People v. Jovanovic and the British Operation Spanner demonstrate the degree to which difficult grey areas can pose a problem for the individuals and authorities involved. It is very important to learn the legal status of the right of consent in the judicial statue of the country of resident for the practitioners of BDSM.

Germany

The practice of BDSM is not generally penalized in Germany if it is conducted with the mutual consent of the partners involved.

The following sections of the criminal code may be relevant in certain instances for BDSM practices:

To fulfill the charge of coercion, the use of violence or the threat of a “severe mistreatment” must involve an endangerment to life and limb. In cases where the continued application of the treatment could be ended through the use of a safeword, neither coercion nor sexual coercion may be charged. In the case of charges of sexual abuse of people incapable of resistance, similar principles apply. In this case, taking advantage of a person’s inability to resist in order to perform sexual acts on that person is considered punishable. The potential use of the safeword is considered to be sufficient possibility for resistance, since this would lead to the cessation of the act, and so a true inability to resist is not considered to be in effect. The charge of insult (slander) can only be prosecuted if the defamed person chooses to press charges, according to §194. False imprisonment can be charged if the victim—when applying an objective view—can be considered to be impaired in his or her rights of free movement.

According to §228 of the German criminal code, a person inflicting a bodily injury on another person with that person’s permission violates the law only in cases in which the deed can be considered to have violated good morals in spite of permission having been given. On 26 May 2004, the Criminal Panel No. 2 of the Bundesgerichtshof (German Federal Court) ruled that sado-masochistically motivated physical injuries are not per se indecent and thus subject to §228.[1] Still, this ruling makes the question of indecency dependent on the degree to which the bodily injury might be likely to impair the health of the receiving party. According to the BGH, the line of indecency is definitively crossed when “under an objectively prescient consideration of all relevant circumstances the party granting consent could be brought into concrete danger of death by the act of bodily injury.” In its ruling, the court overturned a verdict by the Provincial Court of Kassel, according to which a man who had choked his partner and thereby involuntarily strangled her, had been sentenced to probation for negligent manslaughter. The court had rejected a conviction on charges of bodily injury leading to death on the grounds that the victim had, in its opinion, consented to the act. Following cases in which sado-masochistic practices had been repeatedly used as pressure tactics against former partners in custody cases, the Appeals Court of Hamm ruled in February 2006 that sexual inclinations toward sado-masochism are no indication of a lack of capabilities for successful childraising.[2]

United Kingdom

British law does not recognize the possibility of consenting to actual bodily harm. Such acts are illegal, even between consenting adults, and these laws are enforced (R v Brown being the leading case).[3] This leads to the situation that, while Great Britain and especially London are world centers of the closely related fetish scene, there are only very private events for the BDSM scene which are in no way comparable to the German “Play party” scene.

Following Operation Spanner the European Court of Human Rights ruled in January 1999 in Laskey, Jaggard and Brown v. United Kingdom that no violation of Article 8 occurred because the amount of physical or psychological harm that the law allows between any two people, even consenting adults, is to be determined by the jurisdiction the individuals live in, as it is the State’s responsibility to balance the concerns of public health and well-being with the amount of control a State should be allowed to exercise over its citizens. In the Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill 2007, the British Government cited the Spanner case as justification for criminalizing images of consensual acts, as part of its proposed criminalization of possession of extreme pornography.[4]

Canada

In 2004 a judge in Canada ruled that videos seized by the police featuring BDSM activities were not obscene, and did not constitute violence, but a “normal and acceptable” sexual activity between two consenting adults.[5]

In 2011, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled in R. v. J.A. that a person must have an active mind during the specific sexual activity in order to legally consent. The Court ruled that it is a criminal offence to perform a sexual act on an unconscious person – whether or not that person consented in advance.[6]

Italy

For Italian law, BDSM is right on the border between crime and legality, and everything lies in the interpretation of the Code by the judge. This concept is that anyone willingly causing “injury” to another person is to be punished. In this context, though, “injury” is legally defined as “anything causing a condition of illness”, and “illness” is ill-defined itself in two different legal ways. The first is “any anatomical or functional alteration of the organism” (thus technically including little scratches and bruises too); The second is “a significant worsening of a previous condition relevant to organic and relational processes, requiring any kind of therapy”. This makes it somewhat risky to play with someone, as later the “victim” might call for foul play using any sort of little mark as evidence against the partner. Also, any injury requiring over 20 days of medical care must be denounced by the professional medic who discovers it, leading to automatic indictment of the person who caused it. BDSM play between nonconsenting adults or minors or in public is of course punished according to “normal” laws.[7]

Austria

§90 of the criminal code declares bodily injury (§§ 83, 84) or the endangerment of physical security (§89) to not be subject to penalty in cases in which the “victim” has consented and the injury or endangerment does not offend moral sensibilities. Case law from the Austrian Supreme Court has consistently shown that bodily injury is only offensive to moral sensibilities (and thus punishable) when a “serious injury” (meaning a damage to health or an employment disability lasting more than 24 days) or the “death” of the “victim” results. A light injury is considered generally permissible when the “victim” has consented to it. In cases of threats to bodily well-being, the standard depends on the probability that an injury will actually occur. If serious injury or even death would be a likely result of a threat being carried out, then even the threat itself is considered punishable.[citation needed]

Switzerland

The age of consent in Switzerland is 16 years, which also applies for BDSM play. Children (i.e. those under 16) are not subject to punishment for BDSM play as long as the age difference between them is less than three years. Certain practices, however, require granting consent to light injuries and thus are only allowed for those over 18. Since Articles 135 and 197 of the Swiss Criminal Code were tightened, on 1 April 2002, ownership of “objects or demonstrations […] which depict sexual acts with violent content” is punishable. This law amounts to a general criminalization of sado-masochists, since nearly every sado-masochist will have some kind of media which fulfill these criteria. Critics also object to the wording of the law, which puts sado-masochists in the same category as pedophiles and pederasts.[8][9]

Nordic countries

In September 2010, a Swedish court ruled that a 32-year-old man was acquitted of assault for engaging in consensual BDSM play with a 16-year-old woman (the age of consent in Sweden is 15).[10] Norway’s legal system has likewise taken a similar position,[11] that safe and consensual BDSM play should not be subject to criminal prosecution. This parallels the stance of the mental health professions in the Nordic countries, which have removed sadomasochism from their respective lists of psychiatric illnesses.

References

  1. Jump up ^ Decision of the Bundesgerichtshof, 26 May 2004, 2 StR 505/03, which may be found at: BGHSt 49, 166 (bundesgerichtshof.de)
  2. Jump up ^ Appeals Court of Hamm in its judgement of 1 February 2006, case number 10 UF 147/04, available online at the Portal of the North Rhine-Westfalian Ministry of Justice (German)
  3. Jump up ^ “Spanner Trust submission to the Home Office Review Board on Sexual Offences”. The Spanner Trust. Archived from the original on 14 December 2007. Retrieved 27 January 2008.
  4. Jump up ^ House of Commons: Criminal Justice And Immigration Bill
  5. Jump up ^ Barker, Meg; Iantaffi, A.; Gupta, C. (2007). “Kinky clients, kinky counselling? The challenges and potentials of BDSM”. Open Research Online. Routledge. Retrieved 12 January 2011.
  6. Jump up ^ Mike Blanchfield (27 May 2011). “Woman can’t consent to sex while unconscious, Supreme Court rules”. The Toronto Star. Retrieved 27 May 2011.
  7. Jump up ^ Ayzad, BDSM – Guida per esploratori dell’erotismo estremo, Castelvecchi, 2004 ISBN 88-7615-025-0
  8. Jump up ^ datenschlag.org(Oktober 2001) (German)
  9. Jump up ^ Interessengemeinschaft BDSM Schweiz (German)
  10. Jump up ^ Man freed in landmark S&M case
  11. Jump up ^ SM og loven (Norwegian

A ton of information have fun.

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Vile

Sexually Broken II

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, bleeding, blindfold, blow job, Bondage, Collar, communication, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominants, extreme, Face Fucking, Fear, fucking, Gagged, Humiliation, masochist, Master, oral sex, Rape, Respect, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, session, sexual assault, Sexually Broken, skull fucking, slave, submissive, sucking cock on December 18, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I learned about the term Sexually Broken on Sirius 102 about a month ago.Sexually Broken is an adult video series, but I did find the topic very interesting.

There is a huge warehouse full of Bondage Equipment and women are tied up, strapped to different equipment and just used. The sex gets so rough the actresses are giving safe words to use in case things get out of hand. they are tied in every position you could possibly think of and fucked in every hole.

Now I suppose you could use the term in a BDSM or S&M setting. Where the submissive or Slave is just used hard, used in every hole..Sometime ago I had Arianna tied almost into a little ball. I pulled her ass to the edge of the bed, she was cuffed tied, blindfolded, and gagged, ahhh ear plugs as well. While sliding in and out of her pussy, I could not help but to just stare at her ass. She has an ass to die for. So I pulled out of her pussy and right into her tight ass I went, and pumped until I came. So in a sense you could use the term sexually broken.

Now on the other side if what your having done to you is not consensual and it is forced, you could use the term sexually broken., or maybe even rape.

This is what can happen if you meet someone for the first time and you decide you have to prove your submissive and you agree to go to a motel, only having spoken to this Dom a hand full of times. Because once you are tied down, on the bed spread eagle, guess what ? It is to late to change your mind. Hence the word sexually broken, used, raped, abused.

In a consensual setting I do not think the word applies because both are willing to take part. The fact is most slaves love to be used. The more their owner uses them the more they feel they have pleased.

phoenixasubbie used the word skull fucking, that is a word I really do not care for, although I guess there is no difference in the term face fucking. I am going to guess she is somewhat new to the lifestyle as she stated she is still trying to figure a lot of things out.

Many find the lifestyle intriguing , many fantasize about BDSM, being a submissive, or deeper an owned Slave. Until you can experience it and I am not talking seeing someone a couple of times a month, I mean until you have lived it you will never know.

The idea is to be able to give up most of your control, or as a slave all of your control. So being in a 24/7 setting would give you the idea of what it is really like.

Safe words are put into place to keep you safe, to let your partner know when a line has been crossed or you are unsure about what is going on. At that point you stop and you should talk about what just happened. What was it you did not like, what happened to confuse you, or why it hurt. Maybe there is another avenue that can be taking. If your safe word is not respected then it is time for you to leave, thank you but no thank you. No questions asked just I am outta here.

One of Arianna’s friends met a Dom on line, they talked for a couple of weeks, they text each other and she finely agreed to meet him. They had dinner, went to a motel to start her training. Tied her up legs spread and he fucked her with this huge dildo, when he was done the bed was covered in blood. He told her to wash, get out he would call her when he wanted to use her again.

The same thing could happen to you or worse, you might not wake up the next morning, because you really did not know anything abut this dude. You took his word he was an experienced Dom.

I myself do not use safe words , and I told Arianna this up front and I will explain. During a session, communication is very important, vocal and visual. You can see when your almost at their breaking point. You can tell by their body movements, their eyes if not blindfolded. To this day I have never hurt Arianna, the truth is I have never hurt anyone. I have left bruises, marks and sometimes small cuts, but everything I did was wanted and consensual.

If a Dom tells you he can train you to take pain, he is fucking nuts. Either you enjoy pain like a Masochist, or you do not. No one can train you to enjoy pain. If your in a long term relationship you will find the more you trust, the more you bond grows there are some lines you will be willing to cross just to please, but again you cannot be trained to take pain. As a matter of fact I would be willing to debate the issue with another Dominant.

The Dom will say we take our time, we move slowly, and each session we increase the pain until you grow accustomed to pain. I do not buy that one bit, and I would hope you would not.

Sex between two people is what you have agreed on, the do’s and the dont’s , what is off limits and what is fair game. Your off limits should be respected, if not and you allow it, it will only continue.

When I began my search and I have said this before I had a list , it was a list I thought about several days. Once it was completed , this is what I needed and I would not bend. If someone did not like it then move on, because if you settle for less and I am not speaking just sexually, you will never be happy.

I myself I get what I want , when I want as far as sex we really have no limits, with the exception of the normal stuff, no blood, no scat, nothing broken, no perm marks.

If you truly care about someone why would you want to harm them? Why would you want to cause a breakdown or stress? Many do not take the time out to think about safety, they are thinking of the now, they are thinking how bad they want to be in a relationship, to wear a collar, to be owned.

So how long do you go before you let your new Dom fuck you, that is up to you. Thinking with a clear head may make you wait just a little instead of having something to prove. You the submissive has nothing to prove. The Dominant has everything to prove. Him fucking your mouth or ass is not proving anything, and fucking your mouth is not part of training.

Just Think

Image This could happen to you, and not willingly

Vile

Pain Can Be Pleasure

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Beatings, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Dominants, emotional, erotic, extreme, Fake Dominants, Fetish, Humiliation, Local events, masochist, Master, Pain, Pain Slut, pleasure, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, slave, submissive on August 15, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

A couple of years back, I had called into MPR public radio, and I was disputing the theory that most cutters had a drug problem. This is the category they put people in, well she is a cutter so she must have a drug problem. That statement is so far from the truth. Parents want to accuse because they do not want to take the blame, it could not be them, they could not be the root of the problem.

Cutting somewhat like a masochist is a way to release pain, maybe stress, it gives one a high, a feeling of satisfaction, takes them to another world for that moment.

Okay Cutters tend to be different, kinda shy, stand offish , they really do not connect well with others, very few friends, and the friends they do have are the ones who understand them.

So most are forced into counseling , even rehab, because they have to be on drugs. Over the years I have learned how to spot a cutter, just as I am able to spot a submissive while out in public.

Being spanked hard, or cutting releases endorphin’s , a rush through the body kinda like when you get goose bumps. So there is pain but there is no pain if that makes sense. You feel the first blow or the first cut, then it is a total rush.

Okay so it is never the parents fault, we all have to blame someone else it could not be our fault. The fact is most do not want to take personal responsibility for their own actions, it is much easier to blame someone else.

So it could not be the alcoholic parents who fight every night, or not even drinking just fighting. It could not be the fact that there is no communication, or the parents do not take an interest in what their child is doing, or it could not be the fact that their child likes to dress different, and the parents do not except them for who they are.

Okay so let go up in age, Bea was a cutter when I first met her, being a cutter did not allow her to wear short sleeve shirts while out in public, nor could she wear shorts because of the marks on her thighs.

I remember the first time I saw the cuts I felt this deep pain, I felt a very deep sorrow, I could not even begin to imagine how she felt.  I did catch her a few times but the first couple of times I said nothing.

After being in a stress free environment for a while and someone who was taking an interest in their likes the cutting came to a stop.

The feel of a belt across the back, the sting, I would see sherris eyes get all glassy, she would bite her bottom lip, and I could see this intense pleasure in her eyes, this was a release for her, it took all the pain away for that moment in time. Our sessions would last for hours, and when I left she was fast a sleep, maybe not being able to sleep for days.

I believe Masochist are much the same way, although I could be wrong. I believe Masochist for the most carry a very deep pain within, and each session is like a drug, but the prescription never runs out. The endorphins take over the whole body, and most of the time one just goes completely limp, or you could call it sub-space, but in most cases no matter if aftercare is giving they will tend to experience sub-drop. Under normal circumstances I believe sub-drop can be prevented due to aftercare and being proactive when it comes to aftercare. Aftercare should not be used just during session, aftercare can be provided just from holding and talking, general conversation, paying attention to ones needs.

Pain can be bad in the wrong hands, you get a new Dom that has no clue to what he is doing, or the other who just does not give a Fuck. Both scenarios could turn out bad if not fatal. I have seen many get hurt physically, then when it hits what a dumb move you have made the mental kicks in.

Although it took me sometime to realize that not all women were not masochist, I still respected their limits. Respecting limits if not in a relationship is something many new Doms or fake Doms have no problem looking over and could really give a flying fuck, your a one night stand.

Those who are not into pain, well that is the way your body is written. If someone says I can teach you how to take pain, he is a fucking ass. No one on earth can teach you to take pain, I have been down that road it does not and will not work. If anyone says anything different run as fast as you can.

If you want to feel something erotic and not painful, try the violet wand, turned on low can rock your world. Turned on high well that is a different story.  Don’t ever buy the complete kit you can spend upwards towards 1200 dollars or more. If you look on Ebay you can find single ones with one attachment for about 35.00 dollars and you can buy attachments at a later time. Beware of the Chinese wands they tend to over heat and burn up.

If your a Dom looking for a pain slut, then look for one, do not take your aggressions out on someone who is not willing. If your a sadist talk to the submissive before starting any type of play.

Just my thoughts much Love to everyone.

 

Vile

What Is Expected From Us As Dominants

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Cherish, codependent, Collar, Collars, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, Giving Head, Honesty, Lie, Love, Loyal, Master, Masters, oral, oral sex, Pain, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, Respect, Rules, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, serve, session, sex, slave, Spanking, submissive on June 23, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

We are expected to be men of honor. We are expected to be truthful in all ways. We are expected to be in control and not controlling, and yes at times Humble.

Arianna will tell you I am a thinker, I think before acting, I look at choices and consequences, most of the time I am right. Then at times no matter how much planing you do things just do not go your way.

I had someone ask me not long ago, how are you always right, how is it you can never be wrong, this is true. My answer was I live by the book, even as Dominants we have to live by the outside world rules, no matter how much we disagree, there are rules that still has to be followed. When I was younger I tried to beat the system, any chance I got, I was trying to cut corners. Well surprise it does not work, you will get slapped every time.

How can we put in place rules and protocols and expect them to be followed, if we as Dominants do not do the same. We are looked up to, we are depended on, we are giving trust , and total devotion. mind and body.

If we cannot be truthful, and honest, how is it we come to expect the same from a submissive or slave. The first words out of our mouth when talking to a new submissive, is always be truthful, never lie to me.

If we cannot be truthful, and honest we have no right demanding the same from another. If you cannot be truthful, how does one come to have expectations from a submissive, how can we make demands.

We as Dominants have a creed, we are suppose to be different, and yes it is true we are of the few.  I talk to vanilla men daily and when my relationship comes up, they admit they would not want that type of responsibility. To much work, fuck that.

On the other hand how many of those men can snap their finger and their pants are being unzipped. How many of those men can tell their partners to go spread. How many of those men are told no to certain sex acts such as anal, or I don’t swallow. These are very unhappy men. Most vanilla men do not want the responsibility of taking care of the house, with the exception of those who are controlling, that is a far different story.

While sex is a small part of a D’s or M’s relationship it is there. The do’s and dont’s should of been worked out prior to entering a relationship and the do not’s should be respected, although at times I will try to push limits, which there are very few in our relationship, but those in place are respected. By respecting their limits is how we gain respect,and trust.

. It really blows my mind to hear one Dominant speak badly of another. Well he does not know what he is doing, or he is not real. I keep my mouth shut unless it is a clear case of abuse. We all have different rules, expectations, and needs. I myself run a very tight ship. I have tight rules in place, if one is broken we talk about it, if it is broken again then choices and consequences come into play. I am very fair. I have not expected Arianna to be able to memorize the rules, but she does read daily as a reminder, fuck I cannot even memorize them how could I expect her to. I have tight protocols in place public and private, Arianna acts the same if we are alone or company is present. The only change I allow is around her friends and family.

The Collar, Arianna’s collar is similar to an enternity collar. It was made in Arkansas, Houseofcollars.com the man did an awesome job, although you can see a few imperfection, that makes the collar a one of a kind. Arianna wears it daily it never comes off, this includes while at work, shopping, or visiting her parents. While they do know about our lifestyle they do not understand.

What Ariannas mother has told me, is she has seen a positive change, our relationship has been good for Arianna. I have tried to sit her mother down and explain everything, but as usual people only hear what they want to hear, but it is all good. I am welcomed in their home anytime, we text back and forth all the time.

We as Dominants are expected to keep our word. If we set rules in place, the rules should not be changed. I have allowed Arianna to speak up and she voiced her opinion about certain rules and how they would do better if changed or re-worded, the change for for her benefit. I welcome thoughts and concerns.

The worst punishment a slave can have is knowing they have broken a rule. The funny thing is they know, and this causes much hurt. In some cases this is punishment enough. Beating one is not the answer. If a rule is broken talk to find out what happened,

Most use safe words, during play, I do not, mainly because I still have that sadist buried deep inside. The other is I know Ariannas limitations and I do not push. I know what excites her, and what displeases her. I know what excites me as well. If you push one to far you can break that trust, once it is broken the slave can say everything is okay or forgiving but the amount of trust you had at one time is now gone.

Arianna a couple of times during play has said let me feel pain. I knew she really did not mean that. Those words were words she thought I wanted to hear. Until she met me she thought it was all about pain.

If your new to the lifestyle a safe word should be in place at least until you both get to know each other. Our main concern is that of our property. If you break your toy, you cannot play with it.

We should cherish what we have, and truly show we care, communication, aftercare after play, take an interest in their needs. Do things the slave or submissive likes to do.

The reward is truly unlimited.

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Vile