I am going to include a submissive as well , because I firmly believe you can achieve perfection in both a submissive and a slave.
It is us the Dominants or the Masters who set the pace of the relationship.
We are the ones who builds the forms , and we call in the cement trucks to pour the foundation.
Before any of this begins you have the plans to your relationship already drawn up. You already have an idea of the lay out of your new relationship.
Once the foundation is poured you can begin construction on your new relationship.
The problem with some builders they tend to cut corners to cut cost, and we know in the long run this does not pay off.
Then we start with the frame work of our new relationship….
These are steps that have to be taking in a new relationship as well.
It is up to the Dominant to make sure everything falls into place. So we watch and guide through the whole process.
We watch the start of the framing , the pouring of the concrete, then the framing of the new house. W have come up with the perfect floor plan to fit our needs, the lighting, the fixtures , and even the appliances.
We have a plan when it comes to the landscaping.
Everything just falls into place , until we stand back and we are looking at perfection.
Is there a perfect Slave or Submissive, the answer is yes. The perfection comes from the Dominant and his training.
Something I do not see much about is goals, goals within the relationship, and goals for the submissive or slave. In any relationship goals are very important and that is something that should be talked about prior to entering a new relationship.
Here in the next day or so I am going to make a post about goals and the needs of having goals put into place…
We are here to build something, we are here to build something great, we want ours to excel in life, we want to set goals for improvement.
As we continue building our relationship , and we have poured the foundation, we have the framing finished now we add the finishing touch, and our home is complete.
Although our building is finished now we have the daily maintenance in order to keep it up.
This is the same thing in a relationship it requires daily maintenance, and that would be communication
Often in a D’s or M’s relationship the communication is one way , and that would be a Dominant barking orders, and in reality once you have everything in place the Dominant seldom has to bring anything up.
Some two years ago Arianna asked me , how am I suppose to learn? My answer was observe and listen , I want you to be able to anticipate my needs , and she thought I was setting her up for failure but that was not the case because today she does just that.
If treated right and shown love and that you care the Submissive or Slave will not only want to but will have the need to please.
If the the sub or slave is going to put you first in their life , they deserve the same in return..
If things are not going your way , if your sub or slave is not following rules , or your not able to train, or your just having problem in general, do not blame them.
You the Dominant needs to set back and reevaluate what your doing because chances are it is something you are doing. The Dominant is quick to put the blame on someone else, because it could never be him, but in fact most of the time it is.
Communication is the base of the relationship , but with communication comes positive reinforcement , positive reinforcement goes a very long way in building a relationship and this should be practiced daily.
Choices and consequences that is life , that is what life is about. We make choices and we have to face the consequences good or bad.
In a little over two years Arianna has been punished one time and only one time. I have rules in place and Arianna broke a rule maybe not on purpose but she did and to me it was something serious.
Today she knows although there are choices there are also consequences. A Sub or slave will strive for perfection , and that comes with positive reinforcement and communication. Although I do believe in punishment , it is seldom needed because the worst punishment to a sub or slave is knowing they displeased their owner.
BDSM is not about punishing your property , BDSM is about a stable partnership where you build up each other.
As a Dominant you should not have have to punish to prove who you are, your actions should be able to do that, you keeping your word , being honest , and staying consistent.
Again if your relationship is not going as planned , chances are the Dominant needs to sit down and reevaluate what your doing and maybe you need to change somethings up.
If you have anger issues or maybe your controlling you will need to fix those before you can proceed , so you can have a healthy relationship.
You should not take your anger out on your partner , you should not take your problems out on your partner nor your drama.
Believe it or not Arianna and I have zero problems our life is completely drama free. We do however have obstacles come our way , but I handle them, and we move forward , this is all part of the daily maintenance after your house is built.
We cannot expect perfection if we are not willing to build and keep up what we build.