Archive for the Self Pity Category

How Deep Is Your Submission

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, anticipation, Arianna, ass fucking, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, cock sucking, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, control, controlling, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Forced Submission, fucking, Humiliation, kinky, Lies, Manic, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Security, Self Pity, slave, slave no limits, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, Training Arianna, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was sitting on the couch the other day and I was looking at Arianna. I was thinking how fast time has flown by , but what I was really thinking is how lucky I am to have found the perfect Slave , partner and wife.
I cannot say I built our home I have to say both of us built our home. It takes two to build a relationship and it takes two to work together so it can continue to grow.
So for me to sit here and say Look at what I did , would be a false statement. I may of laid down the grown work but without Arianna it would not of been possible.

I am always very cautious of those who use the words I or me on a regular basis. Most who do spend a great deal of time bragging, about what they have done or accomplished.

I am a firm believer we write our own ticket , we decide where and when we are going to go. We are responsible for our decisions, we are responsible for our right and wrongs. It is us to sets the pace in our life and what happens. Now there are times a wrench gets thrown in and we have to back up a little, but staying true in what you believe and do unto others as you would do to them, hmmm did that come out right ?

Although there are not very many people I like , I treat everyone with respect. If I don’t like you I have nothing to do with you. I am not going to get wrapped up in others drama or problems , I have my own house to take care of.

Drama will eat you up from the inside out like a cancer. Drama can destroy your home , drama can and will destroy your relationship no matter who brings it in through the door. It is not fair to bog someone else down with problems. This does mean you do not listen or help a friend in need , but there has to be a limit. Once it becomes a problem or a burden to you , then it is time to cut the rope unless you want to go down with the ship.

Submission is a beautiful thing , It puts you in a peaceful state of mind , the feeling of freedom , the freedom of being who and what you are, and you only have one to answer to. Your Dominant is the only one in your life you have to answer to, well excluding work but you know what I am talking about.

Just like meeting a New Dominant , and being asked about your limits. Well if your new to the life style you really have no idea. Being in a secure relationship with communication allows you to explore that side of you. Maybe you had limits in place, which is normal but as you grow those limits will slowly fade.

On Fetlife I love reading post when a guy says, I am looking for a bitch with no limits. What he is looking for is someone he can abuse and degrade and feel okay about it.
Early last year I was chatting with a Dominant who was mad because his slave left him because she would not fuck who ever he wanted her to. It was his right to make her lay down for who ever. The bad news is she came back , I am guessing maybe a codependent thing , maybe the feeling of being secure.
Can you really love someone if you just pass them around to just anyone ? Your going to fuck and suck who ever I say, where I say and how I say. Can that really be love?

There are those who share , there are those who explore but that is generally worked out between the couple, and there is nothing wrong with that. I myself am not the sharing type, well with a male anyway , a female would be different , but only if Arianna brought it up and she has a few times. Then you have to think about what your going to catch. It is not like it was in the 70’s when you could go get a shot.

You plant the seed , you water it , you fertilize it and it will grow. The same with your relationship. In a relationship your fertilizer is communication , and honesty. This allows the both of you to grow together..

All the kinks , the bondage , the cock sucking , the ass fucking , even to some the humiliation , the control , the submission. All of this comes as you grow , the more communication you have the more you will want to try or do, the more you will want to please the one who is in control.

In a steady long term relationship the submissive , or slave has the need to please and gets pleasure out of pleasing or know they are pleasing the one they are with.

Submission is not something you can demand , respect is not something you can demand. You will call me Sir , you will call me master. Really have you earned that much respect? I just met you why would I call you Sir? Maybe because it makes your ego swell. Maybe it fuels the Dominant inside you. Maybe you should earn that right.

Calling someone Sir or Mam is a lot different when your doing it out of respect than it is when being demanded.

I like the game , playing the game of earning someones respect , then one I am trying to form a relationship with. I like the challenge , I like the finding out how , when and where. I wait for that one word Sir. Then I know without a doubt I have been on the right track. Once you have earned that respect you have a wide open road.

When I met Arianna , I was truthful from the start about who I was and what I needed out of a relationship. I explained everything is such detail she had no questions. I am like that about anything I explain to her. Before I speak I look at every possible question that could be asked , even before Her Training started I explained everything is such detail she had no questions about anything , she just followed.

Following was her greatest down fall because she is one to trust to easy , she thinks other she had seen had her best interest in mind, just as many of you trust to easy. Under the wrong hands it can turn into a bad situation.

Rescuing and submission is not a good combination. You never as a Dominant want to be put in a situation where you are rescuing someone. Many times these are the ones who are wanting you to step in and clean up the mess they made. It is not that they cannot fix it , they just do not want to put in the time or resources it takes to fix.
Entering a relationship many do have some problems and some have problems they have no idea how to fix. If you feel you have a good chance in a long term relationship then it is okay to step in and handle a few things, just make sure your not on the Titanic with a bucket.

I told Arianna , I want you to be able to anticipate my every need. I want you to know when I need something. This was confusing to her at the start of our relationship. She asked me how am I suppose to learn all that , it seems your setting me up for failure?
Watch me and listen , that was the first 90 days of her initial training , and I can tell you the first 90 days was not a very easy task. Training is not made to be easy.
She watched and she listened and to this day she is on top of things. She is because it is a need for her. Her knowing she is pleasing me fuels her submission.

Knowing when someone needs down time is very important , knowing when someone has had enough and they just need time to let their mind go. This is something huge I believe in. Allowing Arianna down time , to see family and friends, taking her shopping. This place a huge role in supporting her.
You know at times Arianna gets somewhat Manic , that is her I accept her for who she is, but there are times you have to let the manic run its course , because slamming the breaks on something could do more harm than good, so I let out a little rope and if a mistake is made I fix it, not that there has ever been something drastic.
Knowing your partner means the world , knowing when to let a little rope out does more help than bad. Being there to pick things up , insures your partner you have their back.

Male insecurities , the two words that start almost everything argument , is what’s wrong ? These two words do more damage than anything , because it is not asked just once or twice especially is the answer is nothing. Then if the answer is nothing there has to be something wrong, so that question is just hammered until something is made up. This all comes back to the down time. Sometimes we just need to vegetate , think , let our mind go and just chill.

Who are you seeing? Are you cheating? Are you talking to anyone else? This means one or two things , the Dom you are seeing is very insecure which is not a good quality when it comes to a Dominant or he is the cheater. 99% of the time the accuser is the one who is stepping out , so then you need to ask him those same questions..

A Dominant who demands your passwords to all of your accounts that is a security problem as well as an ego problem, not to mention a lack of trust.
It cracks me up when these married fuck tards who are cheating on their wife does not trust their submissive. They cant be trusted but they cant trust the other one they are with. How fucking stupid is that? Fuck Tard was a nice word by the way.

We all choose our own path , you just need to make sure you are traveling down the right path , and you need to know your partner has your back..

Confused

Vile

If The Truth Hurts , Go Fuck Yourself

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, Broken Dominant, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, commitment, communication, consequences, controlling, Divorce, Domestic Abuse, Dominant, Dominants who suffer from depression, Ed Wolf facebook, Ex wife, exposing bad dominants, Fake Dominants, http://ekidon.wordpress.com/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, non caring, non-consensual, self centered, Self Inflicting, Self Pity, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Last night I was on Facebook just minding my own business , playing Pawn Stars which is really boring by the way, and I get a private message.
Hey Vile you should see what is going on with this blog, so I look and I do not see anything, so I ask again, Ohhh on Facebook okay let me check it out.

Now before I go on, I want everyone to know I never use any ones name on here. One I know most people want their privacy , and two I never bash any one individual.

So for those of you who do not know me, I have never claimed to be politically correct. I tell it as I see it, but one thing you should know is I live by the truth , the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Something else I would like to bring up , I have never claimed to know everything in the BDSM world or the lifestyle, but what I am sharing is more than 20 years of my life in the community.

Also I would like to point out those who do not know me, may think I have an ego problem, and that is so far from the truth, I am just very confident, and there is a huge difference.
I have made it clear many times there is no room in the lifestyle for an ego. Ego’s kill relationships.

So I go and check out the Facebook page, and I am reading.

I want to Blast Vile Woods so bad, but I know when to take the high road.

I start thinking and I do not even know this dude, why in the fuck is he bashing me? What the fuck did I do to him?

As it turns out I did nothing to him at all, he is angry because his submissive , well I think she is his submissive reads and likes my blog.

I would also like to point out, what I write is strictly my own opinion, and nothing more.
I am sharing my life experience’s with everyone. As you have seen 90% of my blog is about abuse, what to look for when meeting a new Dominant? Questions to ask when meeting a new Dominant.

I have a very successful M’s relationship and I want to show others it can happen, and you can be happy.
While my way may not work for you, you can take bits and pieces , and maybe put a plan together.

So I send Ed Wolf a Message, I would not normally use anyone’s name but he did blast my name for everyone to see, so now I return the favor. I am not going to get drawn up in all the drama by the way, so after this post it will be done..

Vile

Mr Wolf

If you have a problem with me, you should come to me.
As far as I know I have done nothing to you, maybe I have and did not realize at any rate I am not sure what blasting on FB does.

Vile

Ed Wolf

As I said have strong feelings but wouldn’t result to sniping on social media

Vile

what the fuck are you talking about

Vile

Have you got the right dude?

Ed Wolf

Yes never mind. I regret that I commented at all. Sorry

Vile

Um I’ve never said anything about you on social media

Vile

you have never even crossed my mind

Vile

If I am going to talk about you I will use your name

Vile

Dude really you should know me.
Which he does not, even though I guess he follows my blog, he has liked several post in the past.

Ed Wolf

No I shouldn’t. I have enough on my plate without dealing with another egomaniac.

vile

well okay I am not sure what got you all in an up roar but I am good dude, if I was going to talk about you I would of used your name.

Vile

I am not an egomaniac by the way I have no reason to be.

Vile
My life is good dude

Vile
Believe what you want but you were never a topic on my blog

Vile
I do not know enough about you to blog anything

Vile
dude I know nothing about you nor do I wish to

Vile
I don’t know if your single married, divorced kids nothing at all

I do know now he is divorced, and his submissive is still married.

Ed Wolf
I know you weren’t specific or talking about me. Im worried about someone else who considers your opinions as fact. Biting my tongue sorry I said anything. My apologies

Ahhh now the cat is out. His submissive reads my blog.

Vile
Well if you have a lot going on in your life you should fix it.
Sounds like a lot of drama.
chill out , come up with a plan and do it.
Staying calm and cool is the best path

Ed Wolf
Lol
That was Mr Wolf’s final answer.

So while I am not going to speak bad about the submissive, out of respect.
I will tell Mr Wolf he should leave married women alone and get his own woman.

Far be it for me to spread rumors but word on the street is Mr Wolf has stock in Jack Daniels. Alcohol and BDSM do not mix any Dominant should know that.

Rumor on the street has it Mr Wolf also has a bad temper, again a bad temper does not mix well in a BDSM relationship, or any relationship for that matter.

If Mr Wolf has a drinking and temper problem, how is that going to effect his newly found relationship.
I am sure is played a huge part in his divorce as well.

A Dominant is in full control of his life, a Dominant does not have a temper problem, after all we are leaders.
Then you add the drinking problem, which probably stems from a childhood trauma, who knows, maybe just stressed and he cannot handle everything thrown at him.

Then I look at Mr Wolf’s blog, there are a few post but nothing he has written. His whole blog is just re-blogs, which shows he really has no real interest.

This will make my 990th blog and maybe I have re-blogged a 100 maybe less.

Here is Mr Wolfs Blog

http://ekidon.wordpress.com/

BDSM -Ties That Bind or Break Us
ekidon.wordpress.com

You know if you had a problem with me, you should of come to me instead of blasting it out over the net, but just like your last comment Lol it shows your colors.

A true Dominant would not of acted out as you have, a true Dominant would not of gotten angry at his so called submissive, with who you do not live with, and I will share with you how that is going to play out here in a minute.

you the Dominant are now running around and apologizing to others you have offended. Speaking to other submissive’s in a rude way, which again a true Dominant would of never done.

Mr Ed Wolf let me tell you just how things are going to play out, so you can prepare.

You are going to lose, and you are going to lose with your actions, your childish behavior , you are going to lose because of the anger issues you have. You Mr Ed Wolf are a abuser, you were in your first marriage and you will be to whom ever your lucky enough to lure in.

You will lose the married submissive you have now, as well as the friendship. Your actions are causing her great distress, your actions are causing her to be depressed, your actions are making her confused, your actions are making her cry.

Mr wolf only cares about Mr Wolf, it is all about Mr Wolf, and no one else.

I feel deep pity for you, I do not feel sorry, but pity

Shame on you, what gave you the right to go to another mans house and try to claim his wife? Who the fuck are you?

This is why you lose friends, and again you cannot see it, because it is all about Mr Ed Wolf.

If what your submissive is saying to you is the truth you have no reason to get upset. My guess is your upset because your cover has been blown.
She is married you should leave her alone and find your own woman.
Someone who likes Jack Daniels?

Do not ever bring my name up and try to get me mixed in with your garbage.
I am unforgiving so I do not accept your apology..

Arianna wanted me to say nothing to you, and I understand because your full of drama, but you never should of called me out in public among my friends when I did nothing you.
You should of been a man and came to me, but instead you laughed.

If you cannot control yourself, your anger, your emotions, how can you possibly control someone else?

hate

Vile

Those Whiny Words , I Wish I Could Be A Better Dom

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, communication, Daddy Dom, Dominant, I wish I could be a better Dom, Master, Self Pity, slave, submissive on April 24, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I can just picture it in my mind. I had a new found friend who contacted me on Fetlife asking for a little advice, not that she really needed it because she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. As I was reading these words I read really stuck out.

I Wish I could be a better Dom , Master , or Daddy. Those have to be the most pathetic words I have ever heard come out of not just a Doms mouth but a Mans mouth.

Now who is the Whiny little bitch , those words are a last ditch effort because he has lost or is losing control in a situation. He has done something he has no control over. He is sitting there with his elbows on his knees his hands covering his face, saying I wish I could be a better Dom or Daddy.

What is happening is there are little flash cards scrolling through his mind on what he should do next, how to regain control. Ahhh here is the card. I am going to play the self pity card. I am going to make the submissive or slave feel guilty.

Either you are Dominant, either you are a Daddy Dom , either you are a Master OR your not, there is no in between. Either you have control or you do not, it is really very simple.

If we as Dominants have made a mistake, then own up to it. We are not perfect as much as we would like to think. Yes it is true I Vile do make mistakes, far and few , and when I do I fix it. I may even make a few Mistakes while in the process, but I fix it. If by chance I am ever wrong which is like an asteroid landing in my front yard at 3.15am killing my slaves flower pot with daisy’s, The first thing I do is admit my wrong doing, then I explain what I am going to do to fix it.

Maybe it would be cool if there were a Master Reference guide, pocket size so we could run to the bathroom room and scroll through the chapters so we could find ways to fix a screw up, or even a lie.

Let me tell you something, women forget nothing, women delete nothing, so if your going to lie, be sure to remember the lie you just told, because if you tell one lie, you have to tell several more to cover that one up.

I remember when yahoo messenger came to life, WOW the greatest thing since the slice of bread, also the worse thing. I had been chatting with this slave eh maybe a year, and I said something and she was quick to correct me, but I stood my ground, until she copied and pasted a conversation we had some either months earlier. What the fuck, this bitch has saved everything we have ever talked about, yea noway to deny anything it was right there in black and white. Women forget nothing. A Woman can quote you word for word about something you said twenty years ago.

The last ditch effort to regain control the self pity move, because your getting your ass kicked in chess. That is what life is a game of chess , every move is a strategic move. We have full control over the out come of our life.

Okay sometimes those words do work, your in love, now he has made you feel guilty. You are the one who did something wrong. The cards have been turned, now it is your fault because he fucked up. He can now put his little Fifty Shades pocket guide up, he crossed the hurdle. He has survived this ordeal.

Do you or have you fell for this self pity move, have you fell for the guilt trip, because he is the one who fucked up, or you caught him fucking someone else. After all he was just fucking her, he makes love to you. Or you found out he was married after being in the relationship for six months, now he is in the process of losing a piece of ass. What is the greatest fear ? The fear of loss yes indeed. Now he will say or do anything to regain control.

The self pity card is very addictive, if it worked once he will continue to be used until it does not work any longer. The bad news is there are other victims who will fall for this card.

I wish I could be a better Dom. Those words are the words of a little Bitch.

Image

Vile