Archive for the serve Category

When Do You Give Up On Training On A Submissive

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, Arianna, Bad Dominant, Baggage, bdsm, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, journal, Master, Protocol, punish, Punishment, serve, slave, Spanking, Structure, Submission, submissive, The New Dominant with tags on May 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is really a hard question to answer, but sometimes you do just have to say okay I am done , its not working.

The reason behind my way of thinking is there are many who are submissive or a slave who have never lived a 24/7 relationship. You feel submissive you think your submissive, everything you have read points to you.  Remember we as humans are visual people, while reading your taking in the information but your eyes make contact first. Then you see pictures, and fantasies come to mind, again the visual thing.

Training someone new is a huge task for the Dominant, but it can be just as hard to train someone who has years of experience, and I shall explain.

Training someone who has years of experience in the lifestyle most are set in their ways. Most already have expectations on what to expect, but then comes the comparing part. The new Dominant will always in most cases be compared.There are those times things just fall into place.

The submissive or slave who has never been with a dom, in the beginning stages is very excited at the thought or opportunity to be excepted and is very eager to begin their training.

Training should begin as soon as possible, from my past experience those who continue to put training off really have no clue on how to train. Just like the Dom I spoke about last week when he told me he was going to start training a baby girl, when asked what he planned on doing, his answer was the usual.  Which meant he really had no clue, and that is all he had to tell me but Mr Ego got in the way.

The new Novice Dominant is always willing to jump in head first. He has been waiting for his chance to prove himself. Just like the young wolf. The young wolf has been waiting for the chance to show the older wolfs he can stand his own ground but will learn very soon it is much more than what he thought. He will learn it is much more than just barking out rules and looking for reasons to punish. He will learn quick that if not well equipped he will fail.

So when do you just give up on training ? As I stated above the lifestyle to many is just a fantasy, once the submissive gets a taste of the lifestyle they may soon find out they have stepped into a world that is just not them. Maybe they are just submissive in the bedroom which is going to be the case most of the time, or they do not want to follow rules.

If you are just hitting dead ends while you are trying to train, and the submissive is putting up resistance and is not willing to adapt to your ways. Why would you want to exhaust to much time and energy on something that may never come to light.

If you find you are arguing, yelling at each other, why would either want to go through the trouble? One can be submissive in the bedroom but once outside its back to the normal. You cannot force someone to conform, it will never happen.

Start out by giving small task, a few rules, have the submissive start a daily journal. If the submissive is ready and truly wants to life the lifestyle they will follow through. You may need to correct somethings, ask questions if things are not completed , this is where communication comes into play.

If things are not going well and it has been a month or so, there is no need to keep trying, and it is neither ones fault…. One or two things, either the lifestyle was not for the submissive, or your not the right Dominant.

The best thing to do at this point is to part as friends.  Why stress yourself out over something that will never come to be.

Lastly if you are not 24/7 it is almost impossible to train your submissive. You are not there there for you truly do not have any real control.  If you have no control how can you possibly train.

When I first met Arianna I was somewhat skeptical just because of the way she had been treated by previous Doms, but once she moved in everything just fell into place. Arianna put up no resistance at all and was the most compliant slave I had met to date..

One thing that will surely help is if neither brings any bad baggage into the relationship. Baggage and drama will make you fail. The idea is to start out fresh and new.

As far as things not working out, it does not make you a bad dominant, it just means you were not the dominant for the submissive. , or the submissive was not right for you.

As far as the online thing I never understood that anyway.

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Vile

Training Your Slave Humiliation is needed

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Adapt, Aftercare, anal sex, anticipation, Arianna, ass fucking, Baby Girl, bdsm, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, Dominants, Dress Protocol, emotional, Emotions, Face Fucking, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Local events, MAST, Master, Master And Slave, Protocol, Protocol public, Punishment, Rules, serve, sex, slave, slut, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Train your slave, training your slave, Verbal abuse, whore on February 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You meet and you get to know each other, and you are both ready. You have already talked about your likes as well as your dislikes. Being in a Master and Slave relationship there is really no negotiation, so it is much different than living in a D’s or Domestic Discipline relationship.

The Master explains what he needs and wants the Slave either agrees or she does not. In most cases the Master will not bend so it is very important that the Slave has a clear understanding of what their relationship will be like.

The training I have never been one to explain what will take place or when. Most of the time once the training begins and the Slave really has no idea she has already started her new life.

As your training progresses the Slave will begin to adapt. Your looking at maybe two weeks before you see any real progress.

You the Master must remain calm and cool throughout the entire process. You must be able to maintain complete control of your anger and emotions, anger has no place within the lifestyle.

While getting to know each other you both share what is expected, although there is no negotiation to Master must be clear and upfront., and everything must be explained in great detail, even when it comes to rules and protocols. The Master needs to go into such detail so when finished there are no questions, and there is a clear understanding what is expected from the Slave.

In my world the training process is like a long road of mind fuck. Never knowing what to expect, when or where. Most of the time you can train your Slave and she has no clue.

At the start of training the Slave may notice somethings , she may see how she is adjusting, and soon her train of thought will begin to change.

If the Master begins with positive reinforcement then in most cases the resistance factor will be very low, but if your only pointing out the bad then it may rise to a higher level.

The idea is not to want to punish, the idea is to keep from any type of punishment. This is done with clear communication, and being able to understand your Slave. You have to know how far you can push and when to back off. Although you may go into the relationship with very few limits, those limits in place must be respected. If you surpass those limits you have allowed you will lose all trust, and the training is now at a total stand still.

The Mind Fuck Training, everyday should be something new, even if you just change things up a little. . The idea behind not explaining what is going to happen during the Training process is to keep the Slave thinking. If you keep that frame of mind they will follow, they will observe, and they will take in.

One of the first things I do is limit the Slaves space within the home. I walk the Slave through the house and tell her where she is allowed to sit or stand. In the beginning furniture is never allowed. You are taking something away that the slave is use to. Even dining at times I had Arianna sit next to me on the floor and I would feed her myself. I controlled what she ate and how much, I controlled what she drank and how much. The entire training process is about control.

About a week into the process I start adding times, adding time I mean what time to go to bed, what time to take a shower, what time to eat, everything has a time, and everything must be on time. This is a control thing. Being in control is remaining consistent , on a daily basis, an hourly bases, and by the minute.

Humiliation plays a huge part in the training of your Slave, although I do not condone any type of abuse, and some forms of humiliation is abuse in my eyes. I believe some humiliation is needed in the training process. Most females are not use to being exposed. This is why I limit the time clothes can be worn, again it is a time thing, everything has a time. Slave positions I do not use often but during training I feel they are very important, this brings the humiliation factor in, again most are not use to being fully exposed.

The inspection position I call is on knees head down the slave reaches around and spreads her ass open. Fully exposed. This is the time you become vocal. Speak about how much you enjoy seeing her in this position. Speak about how hard it would be for you to be a slave you could never see yourself in such a position. That is position number two. One is on back legs spread the slave pulling her pussy open. You the Master sitting on the couch or a chair, again being vocal.

The use of slave positions and being vocal puts the slave in a very humble state of mind, I did the positions almost daily, and at the same time, again everything has a time. This is not something you are sharing with the slave but time means everything.

Use your Slave and use on a regular basis. Now is the time you do not care about aftercare, the word aftercare should not even come up. If the Slave should bring it up, the question should be ignored. You the Master you do not have to explain yourself, the Slave has to do the explaining. Remember we are speaking of a Master Slave relationship not a D’s. The D’s relationship everything is planned out before hand.

Use your Slave and use regularly without question or telling the Slave what is going to happen. On your knees open mouth. I truly enjoy face fucking, I think with me it is a control thing. On your knees hands behind back NOW as I push my cock in I instruct her to stay still and just hold it. Once I am hard I start to pump her mouth, just like I am fucking her pussy. Don’t swallow let it just flow from your mouth just drool. five maybe ten minutes just stop and walk away instructing the slave to get up . Say nothing about cleaning up, just carry on as if nothing happened. Go to the bedroom, position number one. Pull to the edge of the bed, again becoming vocal. Tell the Slave how much you admire her, slide your cock in and just fuck like there is no tomorrow, dump your load, pull her by the hair on the floor instruct to suck you clean, once done just walk away leaving the Slave there to gather her thoughts on just what happened. Anal sex do not ask you take, of course you may choose to use lube or use their mouth for lube, do not ask take what is yours.

Do not allow your Slave to cum without your permission. Remember you now own. The Slave is for your pleasure. You control everything. The Slave should only be allowed when permission is asked and granted.

Having the Slave in a very humble state of mind along with humiliation, allows you to continue, and continue with the least resistance. Again you never explain yourself.

Names the calling of names in my training process is very important. Just as never being exposed or humiliated, the same would go with the calling of names, again this is a Master Slave relationship.

If the Slave is sitting on the floor simply walk by snap your fingers. Follow me whore, follow me slut. Once she begins to follow and she will. Stop wait, snap fingers follow me whore. On your knees hands behind back. Yes my favorite. Face fuck finish and walk away.

As your progress in the first week you want to start implementing rules. Remember every rule must have a meaning, every rule is meant to improve the Slave on a daily basis, and every rule has a time, again time means everything. Protocols are also part of the training process. How to stand, walk, talk, with whom you may talk to, when and where. Service position standing legs shoulder width apart hands behind back.

Again being consistent is the key and it is the only key that will allow you to open each door. You being consistent will make your slave consistent, you being consistent will allow your slave to retain what you are teaching.

At night once the Slave ask you permission to enter the bed. You talk about what has happened that day. This should be the slaves time. The slave should be able to express their feeling about what has happened. How they feel about what happened.

If you the Master during any part of the training you let your emotions get in the way you will fail. The Slave will spot this and see this as a weakness. Weak is not what we want to be seen as.

You are changing their entire thought process, as I have posted before a type of mind modification. You are training someone to fit your needs and wants

Time is the biggest factor everything has a time. if bedtime is 9.30 then bedtime is 9.30 every night. If shower time is 5.30 then shower time is 5.30 everyday. Time is the most important factor. The thing is in most cases the slave will never catch on, or even think about it, but everything will fall into place, and things will be done without a thought.

The ninety day factor, ninety days tells everything. This is the I want this or fuck you I am leaving. If they choose to leave chances are they will return in a short time. Why is this? You have changed their entire thought process, this falls back to the mind modification. Things on the outside are not as simple as they once were, their world now looks different, they no longer have that structure.

I know some of you women are thinking what the fuck? Does this really happen? Indeed it does. Remember every Master has a different process, some training is not as extensive, some training does not go as deep, some training has no humiliation.

I can tell you this when we are out this is more so at a local function, a Munch or A MasT meeting people are amazed at how Arianna carry’s herself, how she acts, how she speaks, how she dresses. How she follows my protocols. If asked a question she looks at me waiting for approval before speaking

The same training would not go for a submissive or a Baby Girl. There is a different mindset. I have been with a submissive, I was a Daddy for seven years. The training and care is much different. We are talking about a Slave and only a Slave.

Once you are past that ninety day number you can let up some, you can now let aftercare in the picture some, but you have to remain consistent I cannot stress that enough. You must stick to your word, you must be truthful at all times. If you say your going to do something then do it. If your going to punish you must explain why, and you must have a VALID reason.

Your Slave must be allowed to have contact with family at all times. The Slave should be allowed free time after the first week. I can assure you they will need a breather.

Remind on a regular bases you own them, be it just in general conversation or while using sexually. You own them they are owned property. After each rule have the words You Are Owned. Those words will have a great effect. Remember we are visual.

If your in a LDR relationship you must still have a VALID reason when you punish, not being able to send a video with your submissive masturbating is not a VALID reason.

Everything you do has to have a VALID reason.

A submissive or Baby girl has rights. They have the right to what was promised, they have the right to be treated the way they were promised, and they have the right to walk away.

A man, a Dom, A Master Or A Daddy if you cannot keep your word that is abuse. If you lie that is abuse, if you punish without a Valid reason that is abuse. If you cannot control your temper that is abuse, screaming and yelling that is abuse. If you give nothing in return that is abuse. If you are like any of the above you have no place within the lifestyle and you are a piece of shit.

Just wanted to add that has nothing to do with training, but in a way it could I suppose

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Vile

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A Dominants Protocol

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Apologize, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, communication, control, Discipline, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, fetlife, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, MAST, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, MATT9999 on fetlife, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, relationships, serve, slave, submissive, Total Submission, TPE on February 8, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

We are suppose to be held to higher standards. We are looked at differently in our small community. We are suppose to carry ourselves differently.More so we treat our women different.

I am not sure about other Dominants you probably have experienced the same thing when out at an event, a munch or a dungeon. When greeted by another Slave or Submissive. Hello Sir, and a gentle bow, and a warm smile.

While it is not in our protocol for Arianna to address another Dominant as Sir, those who are single or allowed to do so.

If we are shown this type of respect, it is only fair we return the same curiosity. It is only fair we treat the Slaves and submissive’s with nothing but total respect.

Now we have the social networks such as Fetlife. To many of those who are a Slave or Submissive this is meant to be a safe haven. A place to meet friends, read different post in different groups, maybe even post yourself.

Arianna at times receives friend request , and this is all good but when you have nothing but total disrespect from someone who is suppose to be a Dominant in this case was a 30 year old male switch. He sent a MSG requesting she kick him in his nuts that is how he got off. MATT9999.

Okay lets set aside Arianna is my Slave, lets set aside Arianna is my property. Arianna is my wife, my spouse, with whom I live with, and her profile clearly states she is not only owned, collard, but married.

So I sent Matty a note I was very respectful I did not get angry. I just wanted to know why he would do such a thing? Why would you send a request to someones wife, not slave, not property, but someones wife.

Well instead of answering me, instead of telling me to fuck off or go to hell, MATT9999 simply blocked me Which is all good, it just shows me that MATT9999 is more of a pussy than a man. I guess is MATT9999 from Deland Florida knew I was blowing him up on my blog he might be a little upset.

Now others in the past have sent rude comments, and I have addressed then and ever time I have gotten an apology. Stating they did not know she was married. Okay apology accepted.

So how would someone like MATT9999 act if for some earth shaken moment he had a partner, how would MATT9999 feel about someone talking to his Domme like that. I would think he would get pretty upset.

So I have run across this a couple of times and it truly has a deep meaning. It explains what a Dominant is suppose to be.

A Master Creed who wrote it is unknown. That does not matter who wrote it, what matters is it lays down the ground work for all Dominants. It states who we are and who we are suppose to be.

A Masters Creed – Author Unknown

As it is often important and often even necessary for one human being to have certainty and a clear understanding of the intentions, desires, motivations, and needs of another, I offer this testimony in trust and sincerity.

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel more intelligent or wiser.

I am not dominant because of the strength or the mass of my body.

I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women.

Yet, to you I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind, and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor. You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend, and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt.

Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts. We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We complement each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong, and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your word with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you. What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural, and the rarest gift a woman can give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift.

I recognize it is your body, mind, and soul. I dominate you only because you have allowed me to, and when I see your body kneel before me in my mind and heart, you are raised above all other women and all the treasures of the earth.

Within the bounds of our relationship…it is my duty to protect you, and that you will know, that under my care; NO harm will come to you as a result of actions taken by Me..or you. That is my responsibility, to protect you..from yourself if necessary. What you give freely cannot in reality be bought.

Those are really some very heavy words. Those words make you stop and think.

It makes me think not only who and what I am, but what can I do to improve myself. What can I do to be a better Dominant, owner, master.

What can I do to improve my slaves life, her surroundings? What can I do to show my slave I care more about her thoughts and feelings?  What can I do to show more support?  What can I do to improve her insecurities? What can I do to show my devoted love ? What can I do to show my slave, my wife she is my world my universe ?  What can I do to show my slave she is my last thought before I sleep and my first breath when I wake? What can I do ?

That my friends is what a Masters Creed should make you feel. It should make you want to feel. It should make you have the need to feel. It should make you be.

To have one kneel before you, in total submission, there is no greater gift in the world. To have one kneel because they have that need to show their submission there is no greater gift. To have one say use me as you see fit. Again there is no greater gift one could ever receive.

My Avatar here on my profile. WHAT IF ?  That all rolls back to the Masters Creed all of the above I have spoken about. It is all about the What’s.

What can we do for our slave? What can we do for our Submissive ?

Let me tell you something the next time you go to yell at yours, slap yours or punish because of something she may have forgotten stop and think of that one word. What. One word or even WHAT IF.

Wow that is some deep shit there. Much love to all.

Go on pass the word make others think the What’s and the Whats If’s

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Vile

So You Really Want To Be A Slave

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anger, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, Be who you are, being used, Conform, Consensual, control, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Dominance, Dominants, Fantasy, Master, Master And Slave, Masters, Pet, Security, serve, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, The World Of BDSM, Total Slavery, TPE on January 13, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Being truly owned , being an owned Slave , giving yourself 100%. Having the need to submit. You feel lost but your not sure why. Something in your life is missing but you cannot put your finger on it.

Bdsm we think of all the kink , the spankings , being Daddy’s little girl, , maybe your a puppy but you have never been able to express yourself, maybe your a kitten but it has always been just a fantasy.

Most of you who are submissive has had these and other thoughts from a very early age, while growing up you knew your way of thinking was different from your other friends, or maybe you shared some, with those you knew you could talk to. Then some of you well just made it your own little secret.

So now your a grown woman, but the feelings run much deeper, your thoughts are running wild, but now you dare not share anything, mainly because not many would understand or care to have you try and explain it. The search is on. You have to find yourself but most important you have to find someone who will not only understand you, but except you. Except you for the person you are and need to be.

Welcome to the world of BDSM This is where your wildest dreams, and fantasies , thoughts and desires can come true. It is like opening a door and walking through to a whole new dimension, another world, almost like time travel, because in this world anything and everything is possible.

This is a place where you can be you and you will not be judged , you will not be looked down on. All of those hidden thoughts can now come true.

It all seems very easy, if you think it you can do it, and if you want it bad enough you fight until you get what you need. No one said the path is easy, or that we are not going to make mistakes, because we all make mistakes. The key is to learn from our mistakes and move on to bigger and better things. You can now look back and think man what a dumb ass, but now I am here.

Finding acceptance means everything, finding someone who will understand you, someone who cares about your feelings and thoughts. Someone who is willing to take control, and take the lead.

Being a Daddy’s girl is a very special relationship, the Daddy is so loving and understanding. Being a baby girl makes you feel special, and as you should. Being able to be a pet, and just be lazy around the house, or acting crazy like a little puppy would. In this world you can be who and what ever you want, and you will find someone who wants the same thing. We should be able to be who and what we are, when and where we want.

Being a submissive , you crave the feeling to be able to kneel in front of someone. You crave the feeling of being able to submit, to give yourself, but on your term. The submissive sets the pace of the relationship. This is what many do not understand, this submissive is just that. The submissive is not a slave. You as the submissive set the guidelines, and it is you who decides just how far you want to take your submission. You decide what rules you want to follow. A D’s relationship is very special just like a Daddy’s girl, or a puppy , a kitten, or a pony. You are all very special in your own way. You each have something special to offer.

You may find someone right away or it may take time, it is important you find that fit. The one your compatible with, the one you can trust, and tell your deepest inner secrets. Then you are free.

The Slave, the Slave wants to give up full control. The Slave says here is my life do with it as you see fit, but please take care of me, that is all I ask. The Slave you can use me when ever you want the word no will never come out of my mouth. Please just take care of me. I will suck your cock at the snap of a finger, I will spread my legs with just a glance, I will proudly kneel waiting for you to arrive home. I will take care of you the way you need to be taking care of, just please take care of me. The Slave I will adapt to your way of life. I will serve you, I will submit at all times, I will follow your rules your protocols, I will sit at your feet proudly. Just please take care of me.

The above is really deep and it is true for many. An M’s relationship is a very special one, the relationship runs deep, and the bond is like no other.

D’s or M’s these are two different meanings. Dominant and submissive , Master and Slave. Tow totally different lifestyles but we should all respects each others needs. We should not judge we should all be family, not in a sense of living together but in a sense of being there for someone, being able to talk even if we do not understand.

I asked Arianna why do you want to be a slave? How do you see yourself living as a Slave on a day by day basis? How do you want to be treated ? How do you want to serve ? Most important what do you expect to get out of such a relationship?

I want to give up full control, I want to be micromanaged , I want to be in full submission. All of these things I had to consider. Did I want the same? Did I want that much responsibility ? Did I want that much control over someones life ?

After spending much time together and I found out we had a lot in common, I decided to give it a go. This was something that was new to me as well. So I had to put a plan together, not only for me, not only for Arianna, but for both of us.

How do I know your really a Slave or want to be a Slave ? How do I know its just not a fantasy? How do I know its just not a phase your going through ? How do I know your real ? How do I know you truly have these feelings ?

Arianna made the comment yesterday she needed to feel more submissive, she wanted to be able to give more. She needed to give up more control.

I said your already there, you are giving everything, you have giving everything. You do not see it because you live it everyday. Everything has just come natural. You are where you are suppose to be, I just have to keep it in check.

The words come up again Behavior Modification it is real. Arianna’s life has taking a 360 degree turn and she does not even see it. Unless she looks back at where she was a year and a half ago, two years ago, 15 years, 20 years. Then and only then can she see the difference. Everything just fell into place, and it was not hard because she is where she has always wanted to be, and she is able to be who she wants and needs to be a Slave.

I did cut her hair, I almost shaved the right side of her head. Why ? Because I could, because I wanted to see just how much control I had, but more so to see how much control she wanted to give. Okay so it was a test, maybe not a very good one, but it was a test, and she passed. Now her hair has grown back out.

Being a Slave does not make you weak, being a slave does not make you a doormat , your not a house keeper, or just a cook. I myself help out when I can. I do laundry from time to time, I cook when I am able to. On my days off I do want Arianna wants to do, I go where she wants to go. Because her being happy is my only need and concern.

I do use Arianna and on a regular basis. I use her as I see fit, I use her for my pleasure, but the difference is I give back. I give back way more than I take. I am there 24/7.

There is no yelling, there is no fighting, there is no arguing. The other day we had a very deep conversation. I had done somethings she was not happy with. She was able to express your feelings, she let me know she was hurt, and I listened. I really could not explain myself because I had messed up. We did not argue or yell at each other. Then we spoke as husband and wife. Now I have to make sure I do not make the same mistake again.

Your submissive or slave, baby girl, who ever you are. You should be allowed to express yourself. You have that need it is not a want. You should be able to communicate on any level, without being scared of talking. You should be able to question your dominant, your daddy or master when something is not going right, or you feel you have been mistreated.

Am I mean ? Am I cruel ? Am I an ass ? Am I unfair ? Do I abuse Arianna ? I can say being very truthful I am none of those. I am the Master that Arianna told me she needed and nothing more. Many of you do not understand. I am sure many never will, unless you are willing to take that step.

In order to be happy we have to be who and what we are. If we live our life for someone else then we will never be happy.

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Vile

My Slaves Life

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anger, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Dating Sites, being used, Bondage, Caning, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Dating, Dominance, Dominants, Fiction, In Search Of A Master, In Service Slave, Kink, kinky, MAST, Master, Masters, Masters And Slaves Together, micromanage, munchs, No Rights, owning a slave, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Self-Discipline, serve, session, slave, Slave no rights, submissive, Total Slavery, Total Submission, TPE, training your slave, Verbal abuse on January 7, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

While at the MasT Meeting Last Friday night we had an awesome conversation, and we got off topic several times, but the leader of MasT Slave S Looked at Arianna and I and said we have a very unique relationship, and wanted me to go into detail about how I maintain control,and it was and is still one word Consistency nothing more.

This is more about us and how we live our lives. Just to give you a more in depth look at a Master and Slave. We want to share this side of us.

Either you are or you are not. I will be the first to admit I could not be a submissive nor a Slave, but let me make one thing clear, being either does not make one weak, nor are they a doormat. Most who are submissive or Slaves have a great deal of responsibility. Most take care and run the Home, that is Arianna’s job. She insures things within the home run smoothly. Most of the time we make the food list together we talk about what we are going to have during the week. A lot of times we shop together, and when I can I cook. That is to help take some of the load off of Arianna

Arianna has full control over all money every week she gets my pay check, and my monthly bonus. She insures all bills are paid, and balances the checkbook. If I should want something I ask if we can afford it. I never question her ability when it comes to running the home.

On top of running the home Arianna has a very good career, a lot of responsibility. Her commute one way is 51 miles. To make such a long drive I had to insure she had good transportation, so in May of Last year we bought her a new car .

Our job as a Slave owner comes down to only a couple of things, all of which are great importance. We make things run as smoothly as we can with in the home and outside. We take care of any problems that may come up. We insure our property has a stress and drama free environment. The drama and stress free are probably the most important, but the most important is staying in control. Slaves are going to make mistakes, that is a giving. A mistake does not mean she broke a rule.

One thing we found out when we first met is we have more in common than just M’s that is also very important, it would be pretty boring if all we had in common was BDSM. The only things we really do not have in common is music and some of the old cars I like, other than that we are on the same playing field.

I do give Arianna free time to visit friends although she really only has one she visits but this time is important to her, and I respect that. Everyone needs a break from time to time.

If Arianna wants to buy something for her be it clothes, makeup, what ever I hardly ever say no. This is a type of reward. It is very hard to deny one who gives so much. Her favorite place to shop is Amazon.com if it comes with free shipping, she also loves thrift stores, she is like a little kid in one, really fun to watch. I do go shopping with her, I take an interest in her needs.

Just sit back and try to imagine giving up full control. Giving up full control to the point the word No is not allowed to come out of your mouth. Trusting someone that they will not cause harm or hurt, physically or mentally. Allowing your body to be used for someones pleasure.

The more control we show, the more we show we care, the more communication we keep, the more the slave will give. The slave will give without thought. The slave will have the need and want to give.

If you have rules or protocols , they should each be explained in great detail, so when the Dominant if finished the slave has a full and clear understanding of what is expected. If I implement a new rule I explain why I think it is needed. I explain it so there are no questions.

Although your always in that frame of mind Master and Slave you have to be best friends, you have to be able to talk, laugh and joke. I act nutty at times, I like to joke, I enjoy making others laugh. That is a very important part of ones life.

The key to training a Slave is first and for most the Slave must be willing, the slave must have the need. The last the slave has to find the right match.

I have stated before training is a type of behavior modification this is not done over night, in my experience 6 months to as long as a year, and it is something that is continuous it never ends. Again the key word and I cannot express it enough is Consistency.

Seeking a long term M’s relationship is something you need to give a lot of thought, for one the responsibility, and what the long term effects are going to be.

I know a slave now who lived in total servitude, on one hand she was lucky because she had sister slaves, but she rarely saw the out doors. Her owner has since past and she is lost, and will continue to be lost until she is able to find a new owner that will allow her to live the same way..

In my opinion if you have been in a long term relationship speaking of an M’s it would be most difficult for a slave to just pack up and leave, unless they are experiencing abuse, and then still after living in such a structured environment even with abuse it would seem hard to be able to function.

People today relate BDSM to a sex game, I have said this many times before, it is because we as humans are visual, None of the BDSM videos show what it is like to live a normal life. It is all about bondage and sex. The same if you google images, Bondage and sex comes up along with someone being beaten. Most of what you read are women being abused, whipped , gang banged, it just goes on and on. It is wise to read about real life experiences between a Dominant and Submissive, a Daddy and his Baby girl, or a Master and Slave. This way you get the real life of people and not just fiction.

If you are considering the lifestyle to any degree you need to do a lot of research, on all levels. Before taking your first step try and figure out where you may fall in the realm of submission. Maybe a pet , a baby girl, a submissive , or maybe just a bedroom submissive wanting to get your kink on from time to time.

Once you have somewhat narrowed it down, now is the time to find the right partner. I have always said the easiest way is to get active in the community. Hitch on to other who are submissive, more than likely they will be able to point you in the right direction. They will also tell you who to stay away from.

Meeting someone on line can turn into a good thing at times, but you really have no idea who you are meeting. Remember on line we can be who and what we want. We can pose as anyone, and your going to believe them. Most new submissive’s are really naive and are easily persuaded  with very little effort. I am not saying your stupid but it is the not knowing, the not knowing a lot. You not knowing can get you hurt.

If you ask people for advice and you get the same answer from two or three, then you should listen, in the end it may pay off.

So your ready to be a slave, being a slave is usually 24/7 TPE a Total Power Exchange. The relationship between two is consensual as it should be. Being a Master and Slave living apart seldom works, even more so if your long distance.

Second you both have to enter the relationship with a full understanding of what is going to happen, and what is expected from both. Remember there has to be a Bitch in the house.

This takes much thought on the slaves side, the slave has to help things move along as well. Think before speaking, or acting. Learn to control your anger , this takes practice just as it does with a Master. Voices should never have to be raised at each other, there is not need after all we are adults. If the Master loses his temper and starts yelling who is really in charge. Why would a Slave respect someone who cannot stay in control.

You the Slave, will lose all rights , you will have no say , unless and there is an unless, you are going to be harmed, or your Master is going to do something that could be departmental to the home, other than those two factors you have no say.

A slave if no children in home should be nude at all times, and available for use. Being nude gives the salve a more slavish feeling, being full exposed. The knowing they can be used at a moments notice. Being nude also gives a feeling of being vulnerable. These are little mindsets to keep your slave in that mode.

You are told what to wear, how to walk, talk, sleep and what to eat and how much. You will be instructed on how to act in front of others, you will follow protocols when out in public with your Master or alone.

You the Slave you are a direct reflection of your Master when out. You are expected to carry yourself accordingly. Now there are choices and consequences.

An M’s relationship can be a beautiful thing, it can be a very loving well structured home. As with anything you need to make the right choices, after all this is your life.

Be safe.

Image I will continue with more this week.

Vile

How Will You Train Me Sir

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Adapt, Arianna, Giving Head, MAST, Master, Patience, pussy, Security, serve, sex, slave, slave positions, Structure, Submission, submissive, training your slave, use your slave on January 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a question we have all heard and some of you have asked at some point and time. The one thing I can assure you is, you do not start your training off by sucking cock. The reality is training is not what you really think or envision. Training a slave is really not that difficult. Training a slave should not be stressful. As a matter of fact training should be non-stressful, as well as drama free.

The two of you Master and Slave have to come to an agreement prior to entering a relationship. You have to share each others wants and needs. I think this process is geared more towards a slave than it is a submissive, but it can work for a submissive if the two are in a 24/7 relationship.

Last night Arianna and I attended the local Mast Group. Masters And Slaves Together. It is a group that meets on the first Friday of each month. With my work we can attend the local Mast the first Friday, then in February we will attend one in Orlando , then a month off.

Last nights topic was very deep and as usual we drifted off subject a few times which is good because it makes good conversation. It is held in a group setting, there is no sex, and those who want to take part in can, and others can just listen.

Last nights topic was ,,,,,, Empower , Embrace , reinforce , What’s a Slave, sub to do.

“How can a Master’s slave empower him to embrace his position and to reinforce their M/s relationship? Or the inverse, how can a Master’s slave cause their M/s relationship to become vanilla? Is it only the Master’s duty to keep a M/s relationship healthy or does the slave have a duty too? How can a slave make a good M/s relationship a great one? If a slave is not feeling the M/s dynamic as much as she wants what can she do to improve the relationship?”

As I stated last night not so much lays in the slaves hands it is more the master, and the one word I used that I use a lot on here is consistency…… The Master remains consistent while in the relationship. Being who and what you are, and being sure not to take any sidesteps.

The the topic of training came up, I believe it was me that brought the subject up. That was one of the first questions out of Ariannas mouth when we first met. How will you train me.

I told her that the first 90 days would tell everything. The first 90 days will be what you think is the hardest part of your life, but in fact it will be the easiest thing you have ever done if you pay attention.

I also made the statement that I want you to be able to anticipate my every need. This was something she had brought up a couple of times thinking she would fail, but that is not the case.

Every Dominant or Master uses different techniques. Some are calm cool and collective. Then some are just all out ball busting. So it just depends on the one who is training.

I told Arianna all she had to do was watch me and observe. Learn my few rules I will give out, and my protocols and you will be just fine. It did take about 90 days for everything to fall into place. The anticipating did take a little longer but it did happen.

Sex does take part in the training process I suppose but not in a way most would think. Again this is better for a 24/7 TPE relationship. TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE.

Now where does the sex come into play. Sex should be taken not asked for. It is the Masters pleasure that should be the slaves main concern. Sex should never be asked for. The slave is there for pleasure.

While sitting maybe watching TV you take the slave by the hand walk into the bedroom point to the bed and say spread. Fuck her get off and your done. There are no I love you, let me hold you. You are fucking not making love. The same if you want your cock sucked simply place on knees pull your cock out and insert into mouth. No asking.

What this does is it gives the feeling of being used. Despite what others may think, most who are submissive truly enjoy being used. All slave on the other hand crave to be used.

The use of slave positions is a good training process, although most will not be used everyday , these help to put the slave in that frame of mind. Again the key word is Consistency.

Your intention is to put your slave in that frame of mind. She no longer has the right to say NO. She now feels like property.

Watching , observing , and using.  I myself only started out with five rules, and I worked on my protocols more. Rules are for the betterment of the slave.

Training should be a smooth transition. No problems, no Drama, from within or from the outside. Both should be free of any outside trouble, and both should enter the relationship on a fresh start.

 

train

Vile

The Difference Between A Master And A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Behavior Modification, being used, Bestslavetraining.com, blog, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, communication, Consensual, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominants, extreme, Flogger, Franco Bolli, Local events, Master, Masters, Molding, owning a slave, Pansexual, Protocol, punish, Punishment, serve, session, slave, Slave no rights, submissive, The Difference Between A Master And A Dominant, Top and Bottom, Vile on December 25, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I ran across an Article this am I found on a website I hope you enjoy.

http://www.denversub.com/labels.html

I suppose you could debate the two, who is who and what is what, but if you really think about the difference , the two are only similar in a small aspect of the lifestyle. While Both are Dominant 95% of the time the two live in two totally different worlds.

I will also cover the difference between a slave, submissive and a bottom. All three are very different and all three have different needs.

A Master Is certainly a Dominant , but not all Dominants are Master, within the local community. The term Master is usually those who live with a slave on a 24/7 basis. The title if we were giving one is mostly giving to those who are highly recognized within the community . I do believe that the Master and Slave is wired much different than lets say a Dominant and his submissive. I am not saying one is better than the other, or one has an advantage over the other, our lifestyle are just different.

The Dominant and Submissive. The Submissive , only submits when they choose, the play sessions are talked over before play, The Submissive will say what is allowed and what is not. The submissive will follow some rules but usually in the bedroom only. Once out of the bedroom there is still a Dominance and submissive feeling but not as noticeable as it was during play.

A Master / Slave relationship the Slave Submits once and only once giving up full control over their life. The only rights are those giving to them by there owner or Master, again the is mostly in a 24/7 relationship. The slave gets pleasure from serving their owner, be it helping with the shower, undressing , cooking, cleaning, and yes sexually. Sex between Master and Slave the Slave is more concerned with their owner receiving pleasure than their self, knowing their Master is pleased, is what brings on the feelings they are seeking.

Last night I logged onto FaceBook and I started chatting with another Dominant who also has a blog on wordpress. Franco Bolli. We were talking about the Holidays and he brought this subject up to me, he said.

For me there is a difference between a Master and a Dom, like there is a fundamental difference between a slave and a sub.

Yes he is correct, but those of you who are submissive and new to the lifestyle you really do not have a clue, or maybe you do but your afraid to speak up.You the submissive has the right to submit on your terms, when and where, and how. You have the right to follow what rules you want.

The word Dominant in the lifestyle is relatively new, , or calling someone their Dominant is relatively new going back some 15 years or so, when the pansexual revelation came about.. When BDSM started breaking off into separate groups

So the terms would be Master and Slave, Dominant and Submissive or Top and Bottom, Now the Top and Bottom really differ from the other two, and here is how.

The Bottom will dictate the entire scene , the Bottom will instruct the top , what they can do and what they cannot do, right down to how many times they can be spanked with a belt or flogger. The Bottom can refuse to do certain sex acts or bondage.

Again it is not that anyone is better than the other our lives are just very different. I know even here in the local community some Dominants are called Masters by their Submissive’s, and there is nothing wrong with that, it is what makes your relationship. It is what puts you the submissive in that frame of mind.

Remember the difference between a Slave and a Submissive. Many who are Submissive do not understand how a Slave could live such a life, While a Slave cannot understand how one could only submit at their will. Arianna does not understand those who are submissive, but she respects them. She does not understand how a submissive could talk back to their Dominant, or even argue with them. Arianna knows there would be great consequences if she were to question me, but this is the relationship we have.

Remember the above is just my opinion and nothing more. I have included an article that was written some several years ago That I would like to share, and it speaks about the same subject.

The biggest difference is the COLLAR Like Arianna since she excepted my Collar it has not been off one time. She even wears it to work without question. A Submissive will determine when and where she will wear her collar, if she wears one at all.

One of the best sites out there for information more so those who are new to the lifestyle is Bestslavetraining.com

There is a ton of information it will take you a week to read everything. It will also give you the submissive or slave some ideas on how your Dominant or Master should be,. Read you will truly enjoy.

The slave also goes through what some would call a Behavior Modification process, this happens during training. The way the slave talks, walks, how they act in public, around their owners friends, and yes even sex.

What really got me thinking was what Franco Bolli had said to me about how a Dominant was different than a Master in his eyes or thoughts. You can find him here   http://francobolli666.wordpress.com/

So here is the Article have fun reading maybe it was explained a little better and more detail than I was able to.

The last words are so right, Lets all be kind to each other we Deserve it.

Image I love this position

The article I found below is what I came across this am. All credit goes to.

http://www.denversub.com/labels.html

Master or Dom? / slave or sub?

Labels… we use them… we abuse them.  Disclaimer: this is only one person’s opinion.  You may find it helpful… if not, you may ignore it… Probably the most difficult thing to explain (and some would say impossible) is the difference between the labels we use to define us.  The most common argument occurs with the labels Dominant, Master, slave and submissive.  This page will include opinions… some mine, some borrowed from other sources.  I will attempt to credit those sources where I am able.  If you visit this webpage and see something that was originally yours, please email denversubmissive@aol.com and I will either credit you or remove it, as you wish.

“To be thrilled at the touch of leather, aroused by the sound of harsh words, or satisfied by the security of rigid bondage is the mark of a lover. To be thrilled at the opportunity to provide useful service, aroused by a pleased nod, and satisfied by the proverbial job well done is the mark of a slave.”
The Marketplace, Chapter 7, by Laura Antoniou writing as Sara Adamson

Well, that’s not very sensual or erotic, is it?  But it is a good definition of the term “slave“, and one that is used in our lifestyle quite often to describe a voluntary submission of one’s will completely to another.  In truth, very few “slaves” would apply this definition to themselves, if they are honest with themselves about what they require to be fulfilled in the role.  Most of us (at least part of the time), want the thrill of leather, the arousal and satisfaction provided by the role, and would be less than satisfied with simply service.  So, we modify the definition a bit.

Another common distinction between “slave” and “submissive” is that a slave submits only once, and that given her submission to her Master, she no longer negotiates anything with him.  A “sub”, by contrast, negotiates each scene, or changes in the limits of the relationship as time goes on.

A popular debate takes place over the difference between a submissive and a bottom (meaning the noun).  I think this one is solved fairly easily.  A submissive is a bottom who submits to the will of the Dominant in a scene, within the pre-negotiated limits they agree upon.  She does not direct the scene in any way and it is his choice which of those negotiated items he will incorporate into any particular scene.  By contrast, a bottom often negotiates precisely what will happen in a particular scene, down to how many strokes with a particular toy.  She does not submit her will to that of the Dominant or Top, and there is no exchange of power… simply a planned scene.  The verb form, to “bottom” can apply to either a bottom or a submissive, describing the activity of being the recipient of the Dominant’s actions.

I often tell those I mentor that you can picture it on a scale of 1 to 5.. with the submissive being 1 (“whatever pleases you, Sir”) and the bottom being 5 (“This is the way we are going to do the scene”).  We fall all along the scale, rather than at one end or the other.  This is what makes labeling impossible.  There is no right or wrong way to bottom… everyone should find the place that gives them the most satisfaction.

A similar scale exists for “Dominants” and “Tops”. The Top in a scene is the person giving the sensation or pain.  Picture the scale with the “Service Top” at 1 (“My pleasure comes from giving the bottom exactly what she wants to be completely satisfied”) and the Dominant at 5 (“Now that we have negotiated what is allowable, I will choose what pleases me”).  Again, we fall all along the scale… there is no right or wrong way to top someone.  I believe that most 5’s on the scale are hard-core sadists who derive their primary pleasure from the infliction of pain, and playing with one of these sadists can be a heady experience… they *enjoy* it so much!

Now we come to the most difficult: Master and Dominant.  Obviously all Masters are Dominants, but certainly all Doms are not Masters!  At least not in the generally accepted use of the term, which is someone who owns a slave and controls her life completely.  In some communities, the term “Master” is reserved for highly qualified Dominants who have proven themselves to be of excellent character and skill.  The community itself reserves the right to bestow this title and does so sparingly.  For others, it is simply a condition of the mind… the thought processes that a Dominant entertains as he tops… and some believe that the “Master” truly feels the ownership and responsibility of the slave under his control in ways the Dominant does not.  I tend to believe in “slave” wiring and “Master” wiring myself, and don’t consider them better, just very different.

The most important point I hope to make with all this is that we should avoid using labels to rate someone’s skill or dedication to our lifestyle.  Labels are beneficial in helping others understand us… but statements like “oh.. she’s just a bottom” or “he’s only a Service Top” do an injustice to us all.  Whether someone likes a lot of pain or none at all; total surrender or neatly negotiated play; absolute control or a part time play experience… we all have a right to pursue our fantasies and desires, and deserve better than to be labeled by the very people who should understand the most clearly how diversified we all are.

Let’s be kind to each other… we deserve it!

Vile