Archive for the sharing Category

Arianna And I watched, My Five Wives, Well Almost All Of It

Posted in abuse, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, Buddhism, Christians, church, communication, Consensual, consequences, consistent, control, controlling, Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Dominant, Family Values, Gay, Living Poly, Living Triad, married, Married Polygamist, Master, My Five Wives, Open Minded, Patience, Polygamist, Protocol, relationships, Religion, Rules, Self-Discipline, sharing, Sister Slaves, Sister Wives, Structure, Submission, submissive, Triad on March 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

My Five Wives

While skipping through channels the other day I stumbled across this show called, My Five Wives

Brady who is married to five wives in Utah and has 24 children lives in two houses built side by side and a food bill of over 4.000 dollars a month seems to have it down for the most part.

The family were all Mormons at one time but have split off from the traditional Mormon religion and kinda added their own flavor.  While the family follows no real religion they all believe in Buddhism, all the women are pro-gay marriage and they all have a drink from time to time.

Each wife has their own bedroom and Brady takes turns spending the night with each one. One Birthdays each wife gets an extra night.

I have nothing against those who believe in polygamy or who live it, if it works for them then so be it.

If a family can live the Polygamy lifestyle and make it work, and not live off of government assistance then leave them be. We are in a new time where we allow gay couples to marry so why would be draw a line on how many people can live together.

While the family is not religious based they were all Mormons at one time, and they do live in a  Polygamist community , which they have been asked to leave because of the way they believe.

There are a few things that caught my eye in the short time we watched the show. The main thing was the jealousy between all of the wives as Brady took turns spending the night with each one. The second was no structure within the home, third there were no rules that had to be followed. Even though the show is not geared towards any BDSM lifestyle or Domestic Discipline the family did lack the fundamentals of any type of real structure and no protocol. I do believe Brady tries to communicate the best he can, but the main factor that keeps everything from working is the jealousy. There is no real communication with the wives, they all work toward the building of the home, but there is clearly no team work. They do have family outings which is good, yes all thirty of them, wow can you imagine going to McDonalds and having a bill for thirty.

So I wonder if others who live as Polygamist have the same issues , the same problems , if they have the same jealousy issues going on.

None of the wives on the show are Bi Sexual and that should never come into play anyway if you are looking to expand your family. I do not see the need in having partners and seeking out those who are bi as a need and that should never be part of the reason you are wanting to expand your family.

While I have done research on Domestic Discipline family’s I have not run into any who live as Polygamist. I have run into family’s who suffered from abuse and while a couple disagreed with me they mentioned all of the arguing that went on daily, and the fighting that went on daily so I was not able to connect them with living a Domestic Discipline lifestyle which for the most is religious based as well.

In the short time watching the show I was able to pin point where the problems came from. First there was no Alpha female, if there was she was not willing to step up to the plate. I can see where they all were wanting to be treated equal but in a live in situation like that I see no way that would work.

There was zero structure everyone did their own thing, having no structure causes arguing. There were no house rules again having no rules causes arguing.  Last but not least there were no consequences for any actions. Although he did try and communicate with everyone it was clear he was not getting through to them.

I can see where such a lifestyle could work if the male is in full control, and I can also see where it can fail. Those who live the polygamy lifestyle keep it such a secret I do not believe there is any hard statistics that shows if it works more than it fails.

I also believe a man can stretch his self way to thin and not being able to maintain any type of control, and it is clear when one of the wives stood toe to toe and argued with him he clearly had no control.

When Arianna and I were talking about the possibility of adding another, there would of been a plan in place. There would of been house rules to follow, there has to be structure, there has to be protocols , and most of all there has to be an alpha female, and the other has to know the alpha is just that and will always be the alpha. So a third would have to be okay being the third, and know that will never change.

I was reading some of the comments about the TV show My Five Wives, and there was not one good one, well until I commented. These people who were complaining are the same ones you see as customers in the TV show Hardcore Pawn, or guest on the Jerry Springer show, These are the ones talking about how others live their lives.

You have people protesting Gay Marriage if your so against it then don’t marry someone who is gay, BOOM problem solved. If you judge someone for having more than one wife, then just marry one, problem solved.

What is really stupid is you spend and hour watching a TV show about Polygamist then you spend the next day complaining about it. Wow fucking really. Truth be known your the fucking moron for wasting an hour of your life watching something you hate so much.

Let people be who they want and need to be. A friend at work was talking about a family he was working with they were Mexican, he was saying that two family’s lived in a two bedroom apartment, and how crazy they were. Well it is not really crazy, they make it work, who cares how they live.

If your going to live, live the dream, but don’t waste your time talking about how others live, when your own backyard is fucked up….

By the way I can talk, my backyard is clean.

Image Just how many is to many? How many can you keep under your control.

Vile

Living The Threesome

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Collar, Collared Slave, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominants, Ego, kinky, poly, Polyamory, Protocol, rimming, Rules, self centered, sharing, slave, submissive, sucking cock, Threesome on December 21, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

What better way than to wake up with a Bitch on both sides of you. Walking into BDSM events with a woman on either side. Being able to bring another home so you and your slave can enjoy her. Even letting your Master go out with other slaves and fucking them but he always comes home to you.

I have talked about poly several times, but then I read other blogs and they bring up new points that I did not cover. Every mans dream why stop at two, why not three, or four?

Poly can be good more so in today’s times so now you have three putting into the pot, and it does make things easier on the Alpha female, or so it would seem.

Poly is not a good thing when your relationship is fresh, poly is something that you should take your time when seeking another. I am thinking six months maybe a year. The two really need time to get to know each other

It is my opinion having a new slave for a month or two, is not a time to be bringing another into your home. Number one you do not even really know your slave, her emotions, what she can take or not take, her feelings. Surely after knowing someone just over a month you would not already have her collared. How could that possibly happen.

If your collar is just giving to you because your new Master wants to own you, how can you as the slave respect wearing a collar you did not even earn. Or you except it because you want to be owned. Again would you marry someone only knowing them for a month?

A collar is earned , Earned being the key word. I know for myself even implementing rules takes a good thirty days, I believe with Arianna is was roughly 2 months before I had my rules in place. In order to put any rules into place you have to know your slave inside and out. The rules we give are rules to improve, to make better, to insure they are using their time wisely, for the betterment.

So the rules are in place, your own protocols are in place, then the collaring begins. I myself just sit back and observe I watch I take mental notes. I look for consistency, but most of all I look for the need, the need to be owned, the need to be collared.

I do not have a desire to bring another into our home, my house. Its just not the sex I get, but it is everything that encircles our relationship. One piece of a pie does not make a whole. You have to start from scratch. You have to add all the ingredients, then you have to mix everything together, pour into your pie pan, add the crust, then you bake until done.

That is the same way when it comes to building a relationship, you are baking a pie, and you have to keep a close eye on it to insure it does not burn.

So if Arianna came to me and said Master I think we should bring another Slave into our home, your house. My first question would be why. Why do you feel we need another? Her reason would have to be a valid one, and I can tell you it would not just be about sex. It would be about helping with the daily chores, the daily task, such as cooking, or shopping, taking care of bills.

The poly relationship should never be based just on sex. The foundation should be built, the need has to be brought out, what you expect out of the relationship. More important how is a third going to benefit your home. How is the third going to make things better. What are the good point and what are the bad points?

I have someone who is somewhat of a friend who moved in with a slave, and from day one it was a total fuck up. He could not control what he had or the house, but once home from work, he spent hours on his computer trying to find another to add.

Is this fair to the slave you are bringing in? Not at all your going to bring someone into all your problems, your drama, your arguing, and say welcome to our happy home.

A good portion of slaves or those who are submissive do not even want anything to do with poly, but they will agree just to please. Because they have this acceptance thing going on, maybe a low self esteem. The need to please.

Again poly can work and it can be good for some, but it takes time , not thirty days after you have met your slave.

Okay lets say I wanted to bring in another lets say I needed more than one. I would leave that up to Arianna because she is the one who is going to have to get along with her, she is the one who is going to be going shopping with, standing side by side cooking, cleaning, laundry. The slave has to get along with your slave, they have to become best friends.

If I brought another slave into my house it would make Arianna feel inadequate, she would feel as though she was not enough, or she was not able to please me.

Okay my check list here, maybe I do need a third.

I have awesome communication , check , I have the best friend I have been looking for all my life , check, We enjoy our time together, check. We enjoy doing the same things, check. We enjoy the same foods, check. Okay now the kinky stuff. We both enjoy bondage, check. I get my cock sucked anytime I have the want, check. I get pussy anytime I want, check, I fuck her ass anytime I want, check. I can just play with her, probing both holes, really anything I want to do, check. I love being rimmed, I get that anytime I want, check, I love foot worship all I have to do is point , check. I even have my own Titty Bar, when I want her to dance for me, check.

You know I have got it made. I cannot think of a different flavor I would need. So to bring in a third there has to be a valid reason, there has to be a need that would benefit the both not just one.

I know that Arianna is against the poly thing, I know bringing in a third would do more harm than good, but if I really wanted to and I insisted on it, she would keep her mouth shut and do it. That still does not make it right. We talked about this before, she was against it and I agreed the case was closed.

Before bringing in a third sit down and talk. There has to be a reason and having a different flavor is just not a valid reason. More so in today’s times when there is some bad shit going around. Back in the day you could go down and get a shot to get the drip to stop. Today it is tons of medication just to keep you alive. Is the different flavor really worth ones life. Unless you really know someone, I still do not know.

The reason has to benefit your slave in some way. I would think there would have to be a good reason, not just so the Dom can get off. The power trip, the ego booster. Watch me while I fuck her.

Just my opinion you can agree or disagree , but do not just let someone walk all over you. You should both agree on what is good for your relationship and what is not, what is healthy and what is not.

Here is a question you can ask your Dom. Can we bring in another Male Dominant. See how far that gets you. Instead of you eating pussy in front of him, see how he feels about you sucking another cock in front of him, or how much your enjoying getting banged by another dude. See how far that conversation goes.

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Image See how far that gets you

Vile

Unforgivable Act

Posted in 24/7, abuse, anal sex, bdsm, Bond, caught, Cheat, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, communication, Consensual, Deception, Fetish, Kink, kinky, Loyal, married, oral sex, poly, Rules, sex, sharing, slave, submissive on May 12, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

You will remain loyal at all times. That is an unforgivable action. If for some reason this happens, be sure he is the one you want to be with.

One of my rules that are in place. It may not seem it fits as a rule, but the fact is many today have a problem staying Loyal. When people do stray out of a relationship it is not love they are looking for, it is the heat of the moment.

Then again I have known people who have strayed and played with the same partner outside of the relationship for years, and then go home as if nothing has happened. Maybe they are not getting the attention they need at home, or the sex just sucks, but everything else is just fine at home. This still gives no excuse.

When entering a relationship the two should make sure they are compatible in all areas including sex. Many men are either ashamed or to shy to reveal their sexual needs and fetishes. Maybe the men are afraid of rejection, or when talking about sex topics come up the female is totally against. As usual the male thinking with his cock will give in. The male will think at that moment and time everything is fine.

Maybe the female is afraid to bring up her needs, kinks, and fetishes. Maybe she thinks the male will think something is wrong with her.

It does go both ways, she wont suck dick, and he wont eat pussy. If this is the case why would either chance a relationship that is doomed from the start.

Okay so it is not always about sex. Maybe a lack of communication, or the intimacy of just being held. Someone paying attention to you. Men are weaker when it comes to the above, a man can be in love, but let another female show a little affection and he is ready to jump the fence hoping the grass is greener on the other side.

Once into a relationship many women are neglected, the male begins to take advantage of the relationship without really knowing he is. He begins to expect things that were once done because the other wanted to.

You will remain loyal at all times. That is an unforgivable action. If for some reason this happens, be sure he is the one you want to be with.

I take these words very serious. The unforgivable act. A man crawling on top of my property. Using my property for their pleasure.

This post is not directed at anyone, and no it is not  directed towards Arianna. I completely trust her. She was reading her rules the other night and stated this was her favorite rule. She stated it was direct and to the point, and it told of the consequences.

Maybe your poly and you have the understanding and you agree it is okay to see others, maybe your in an open relationship. While I do not understand and I never will, what is between two is their business. If sleeping with others makes you happy and your relationship stronger have at it.

You will remain loyal at all times. That is an unforgivable action. If for some reason this happens, be sure he is the one you want to be with.

Before I entered our relationship, I made everything clear, my kinks, my fetishes, and my needs. I get everything I need from home. I fuck anytime I want, I get head anytime I want without question. I love anal sex it is there anytime I choose. Arianna dresses to please me and only me. Our communication is at level 10, we talk, we laugh and joke, more so me. I love to just gab and Arianna listens.

You will remain loyal at all times. That is an unforgivable action. If for some reason this happens, be sure he is the one you want to be with.

The bottom line you always get caught, it is not a matter of how or why, it is when. So you are going to take a chance and uproot your whole family. You are going to take a chance and destroy what you spent years building, over some dick or pussy.

Think about it, you take fifteen minutes of pleasure, your caught and told to pack your bags. The one your seeing is married, you cannot move in with them. Now your starting all over, now the fight begins.

Even if for some odd chance you are forgiving, the relationship is not the same. When you have sex the other person is always in the back of your mind. The trust will never be there, it is gone.

Men are dogs, when he is caught he will beg, cry, and swear he will never do it again. He will do what ever it takes or will say what ever it takes to keep his foot in the door. Most women will forgive, but they will not forget. Once the male is comfortable again, he is back on the prowl. Women on the other hand once caught and they see the consequences, they will not stray again, there are those exceptions, but for the most they will remain loyal.

You will remain loyal at all times. That is an unforgivable action. If for some reason this happens, be sure he is the one you want to be with.

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Vile

Read My Lips. I do Not Share

Posted in abuse, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominants, infidelity, Master, morals, munchs, Pony Girl, Respect, Safe and Sane, sharing, slave, submissive on April 9, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was really thrown back yesterday by who I thought was a good friend of mine. Her and I have known each other for several years, while I never fully understood her role in the lifestyle I just never had the need to ask. Sometimes a Mistress, sometimes a submissive, then sometimes I am really not sure. That does not matter I liked her as a person. Although I had not seen her in a couple of years we talked on the phone from time to time, facebook sometimes. At any rate I considered her to be a friend. I had not met her New squeeze he seemed pretty cool, a little older than I am by about 12 or 13 years, new to the lifestyle.

I ran a munch for her for a short time, and afterwards they had a play party, which I did not attend, but I did enjoy teaching. I was going to get with her yesterday and talk about the possibility of starting up a new munch, I know Arianna would like to help put something together and help out.

Here is the thing, I love eating pussy. While it is a fetish I do it on my terms. However I am not going to eat pussy after some dude has just fucked it. That is not going to happen.

I got a call and was told they were headed to the nude beach here, and asked if I wanted to go. Arianna was not home so I declined, but offered to let them stop by afterwards trying to be somewhat of a good host. So after the beach they were going to stop by. She was asking if Arianna was going to be home, I said I am not sure she had a doctors appointment in Orlando and I was not sure what time she would be home with all the traffic.

I had something come up and I had to leave, so I called and left a message, saying I had to go out, but Arianna and I would plan a trip over next week to see them.

I am driving and my phone rings, I answer it is her, I apologize , but told her of my plans. She said that was fine. I thought her new BF  and I would get along because we both had something in common, we both like Titty Bars. My way of thinking once you have seen one naked woman , I just want to see them all, although some not so much as others.

So the conversation continued, and she asked if I was willing to do a full swap? I said what? She said are you willing to do a full swap? Then she said if we are not going to play there is no since in coming over. Wow are you kidding me?

Okay let me get something straight. I am not a jealous man, I am not a controlling man, I am not an abusive man. I am however very possessive, I am possessive to the point I will hurt you if you cross that line. I will do what is needed to protect my own.

Second as you all know I am monogamous, I am one on one. I do not play with others. Why do you ask? I get everything I need right here at home, I get anything I need right here at home, and I do mean anything, anytime, anyplace.

I am not going to let some dude crawl on top of my property and bang her, I am surely not going to let her suck some dudes cock. My pussy is just that MINE.

That was the only stipulation Arianna had before we entered out relationship she did not want to be shared. She did say she was however open to another slave if we talked about it, she has been with other women but does not consider herself Bi.

So the only way we can visit is if I let her 62 year old boy friend fuck my slave, that is not going to happen. I may let Arianna dance for him and he can jack off, or let her tease him a little, but no one touches my girl.

When I first met her some several years ago it was at the Daytona Munch. At that time she was living with a pony trainer, who also had a 6ft transgendered pony who I called Mr Ed, and a smoking little pony girl who had a body built for sin. I could never figured out their relationship, and to be truthful I did not want to put that much thought into it.

Shortly after I started attending the munch they had a big fall out, I felt kinda sorry for the dude who owned the two pony’s, kinda wimpy, some bad stuff was going around about him, I did not know if it was true or not, again It was not worth my effort to find out if it was or not. He had asked me a couple of times if I would session with the Trans, and I was like um no, but I will take the other one home.

I am not a switch, I have never thought about being a switch. I am not bisexual. I am not against those who are to each their own. I do not care if you are gay, Bi, lesbian, we are all people. Just not my thing. I could never submit to another.

Some men enjoy sharing, some men get off on watching some dude bang their girl. That is not me. You can look, you can dream, but you will not touch. There are very few I will even allow to hug Arianna. A hand shake will do just fine.

So to be my friend you have to fuck my girl? Nah I just cannot see it

This is what I have been talking about as far as the lifestyle, almost zero respect. It seems everybody wants what someone else has. Just get your own Bitch. The lack of Protocol. The lack of caring, and today it is common for someone to just pass their girl around without a care.

Someone on another blog called me Old School being sarcastic. I am Old School and I am proud of who and what I am.

Vile

Is Old Leather Guard Just A Myth ?

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Advice, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, blow job, Cherish, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, cum, Dominants, dress, Dress Protocol, Fake Dominants, Fake submissive, Giving Head, Health, Honesty, Kink, kinkster, kinky, Loyal, Master, Masters, molding your slave, munchs, Myth, Old Leather Guard, oral, oral sex, Patience, pleasure, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, pussy, Safe and Sane, sex, sex slaves, sharing, slave, submissive, sucking dick, Task, Total Slavery, TPE, training your slave on March 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna and I attended a New Munch yesterday, in hopes of finding a permanent group, both of us were really disappointed. Although the people were really nice and welcomed us with open arms, it is just not what we are looking for. We may give it another chance but I truly doubt it. The munchs we attend are solely for Arianna. I myself believe it is very important for ones slave to interact with others alike. I also believe it is very important for the Master or Owner to insure there is growth within the relationship. Just my opinion.

Every time we have left an event Arianna has made the comment. I cannot believe the way the other slaves acted, or the way they talked back to their Master. Well she is correct, I go back to what I call Old Guard. There was Honor, Respect, and yes again Protocol.

Although I am a smoker, there was never smoking allowed in a Dungeon , or drinking before play. Most of all a Slave would never make rude comments to her Master even jokingly.

Arianna is always dressed very nice. A comment was made from another submissive we had met, on how good Arianna always looked. This is the truth, I dress her. I tell her what to wear, how I want her hair, and makeup, and what shoes to wear.

Last month we left a munch and another Dominant made the comment, maybe I should just find a slave I could dehumanize. Wow really I knew the comment was made towards me. While I did not take offense to the comment, I found it to be somewhat expected coming from him.

Okay maybe just maybe I am somewhat unorthodox , in the way I believe a house should be ran, maybe I am a little to strict, maybe I expect my slave to excel, no matter what she is doing. Maybe I do control every movement, right down to what she eats and how much. Maybe just maybe sex is on my terms. Last night I allowed her to come, I am guessing it had been a little over two weeks. I made her masturbate while giving me head. I could tell she was in heat, so I allowed her to get on top. It took her all of thirty seconds to cum. Then afterwards I heard a very soft , Thank You.

Old Leather Guard started off within the Gay community in the early seventy’s and quickly spread through out the community. Why? the respect, honor and protocol.

I would also like to say I am not a suck my cock Dominant, my cock does not run my life, although Arianna does have awesome skills when it comes to oral. Getting my cock sucked is not my only thought.

The truth is, it is about me, and only me, and I will explain. Being a Dominant is not just a game. A male cannot wake up one morning and say I am a master, or just because you are in a D’s relationship does not make you a master. If your a master and your with a submissive or slave and your her first dominant or she thinks your a dominant , but your just using her to get your rocks off, eh not so much of one.

The care that goes into owning a slave is a great responsibility, my day does not end until after I have tucked Arianna into bed for the night. The last thing she does before going to sleep is the reading of my rules. Then I can relax for the night. That is my down time kick my feet up, and maybe watch a little TV. In the morning I wake , I turn the coffee pot on, my cup and the bowl of sugar is sitting next to the pot.  Once Arianna wakes she makes the request to get up. I then make her a cup of coffee and we set and we talk, about her dreams or we plan out the day. I keep Arianna busy with small task through out the day as well.

Today everyone is more interested in getting what someone else has. I have been asked numerous times if I share, and the answer is no I do not share, nor will I ever. What is mine is just that mine.

Where is the respect factor when it comes to other Dominants. Okay so Dominants my age are a breed who is slowly dieing out. I have been turned away from munchs by a twenty year old Dom because I was to old for the group. Again where is the respect. It is not like I was showing up for a piece of ass. Where is the protocol? All of the above is gone right out of the window.

Okay your a twenty year old Dominant a master. What are you a master of. What could you of possibly learned in such a short period that has taking me twenty years to learn, and the truth is I am still learning. Everyday I learn something new. To be turned away by a twenty year old, WOW.

Am I unorthodox in my way of thinking. I will tell you the answer is no. I will say this I have gone through a line of subs and so called slaves to find the right connection. The right Slave who could fit my needs. See yes in the end it is about me.

Old Leather Guard. At one time Dominants were very close, Masters and Owners. Information was passed along , great conversation, even a warning list of fake dominants. There was no criticizing on how another dom did not know what he was doing. After all we each have our own way of training. At one time Dominants really got along. Respect to this day you will hear me address an older Dominant as Sir. I am not submitting I am being respectful.

Am I unorthodox ? When I met Arianna she handed me a book, the book was about her. She told me to write another one, she wanted everything erased. The book would be based on how I see a slave. So I grabbed an eraser , and I began to edit Arianna. The process only takes about a month. This is just a start, you begin by taking old habits away and introducing new ones. This cannot be done if you are not 24/7 or you do not see someone on a daily basis.

First and foremost the Slave not only has to be true, but willing. The slave has to truly want the change. It is like I have tried it on my own and it does not work, so here I am.

I run an old Leather Guard style home. To most I am to strict. Arianna has no say so in anything. There is one exception here and only one, and I have made this perfectly clear. If Arianna sees that I am about to make a mistake, which is unlikely to happen, but in the event of me making a mistake, Arianna does have to right to voice her opinion. At that time it is up to me to listen to her. I do value her opinion.

Our relationship is based on respect, our relationship is based on the truth, and nothing but the truth. Our relationship is based on communication. Our relationship is based on the desire to make the relationship work.

Do I get tired? Sure I do mentally tired, not overwhelmed though because I do enjoy the lifestyle and the relationship I am in.

So we are talking a month to get the basics down. I am not talking about handing out a handful of rules that will cause a crash. The first thirty days tells everything, will the slave be able to stick it out or will she run for cover, and find another dominant who is not so strict, or one who does not expect so much.

I have been asked if the Old Leather Guard is real. My answer would be yes, although there are many who would disagree.

If the Master truly cares for his. He will take the time out to teach his way. If the Master truly cares he will listen, he will find the slaves needs. He will care about the slaves emotions. He will want to hold her, and talk and listen.

The rewards at the end of the rainbow are truly there, it is a lot of work but it is there.

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Vile

Monogamous , Poly Or Triad

Posted in abuse, bdsm, Bdsm events, Bond, Consensual, control, Dominants, Emotions, Loyal, Master, morals, No Rights, Patience, poly, Polyamory, problems, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, sharing, slave, submissive, submissive or slave has rights, Triad, Uncategorized on March 4, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Monogamy /Gr. μονός+γάμος (monos+gamos)— one+marriage/ is a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse during their lifetime or at any one time (serial monogamy), as compared to polygamy or polyamory.[1] In current usage, monogamy often refers to having one sexual partner irrespective of marriage or reproduction. The term is also applied to the social behavior of some animals, referring to the state of having only one mate at any one time.

I am a firm believer in Monogamy with one exception. While I do have a few married friends who are in the lifestyle, I like as a friend but I do not and cannot respect as a Dominant, although I do believe I can learn from those who are older if that makes any sense.

I have lived in a Triad relationship. I am not speaking poly, Triad meaning three. I believe you can be monogamous while in a Triad relationship. One you are not going behind any ones back. The three live together and live as a unit. All three contribute to the family. At the same time the three stay loyal to each other. This is not cheating.

Polyamory

 

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly], meaning “many” or “several”, and Latin amor, “love“) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Polyamory, often abbreviated as poly, is often described as “consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy.” The word is sometimes used in a broader sense to refer to sexual or romantic relationships that are not sexually exclusive, though there is disagreement on how broadly it applies; an emphasis on ethics, honesty, and transparency all around is widely regarded as the crucial defining characteristic and it is considered distinct from swinging (which emphasizes sex with others as merely recreational).

The term “polyamorous” can refer to the nature of a relationship at some point in time or to a philosophy or relationship orientation (much like gender or sexual orientation). It is sometimes used as an umbrella term that covers various forms of multiple relationships; polyamorous arrangements are varied, reflecting the choices and philosophies of the individuals involved. Polyamory is a less specific term than polygamy, the practice or condition of having more than one spouse. The majority of polygamous cultures are traditionally polygynous, where one husband has multiple wives. Polyandrous societies, in which one wife has multiple husbands, are less common but do exist.[2] Marriage is not a requirement in polyamorous relationships. The “knowledge and consent of all partners concerned”[3] is a defining characteristic of polyamorous relationships. Distinguishing polyamory from traditional forms of non-monogamy (e.g., “cheating“) is an ideology that openness, goodwill, truthful communication, and ethical behavior should prevail among all the parties involved.[4][5] As of July 2009, it was estimated that more than 500,000 polyamorous relationships existed in the United States.[6]

People who identify as polyamorous typically reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are necessary for deep, committed, long-term loving relationships. Those who are open to, or emotionally suited for, polyamory may embark on a polyamorous relationship when single or already in a monogamous or open relationship. Sex is not necessarily a primary focus in polyamorous relationships, which commonly consist of people seeking to build long-term relationships with more than one person on mutually agreeable grounds, with sex as only one aspect of their relationships. In practice, polyamorous relationships are highly varied and individualized according to those participating. For many, such relationships are ideally built upon values of trust, loyalty, the negotiation of boundaries, and compersion, as well as overcoming jealousy, possessiveness, and the rejection of restrictive cultural standards.[7] Powerful intimate bonding among three or more persons may occur. The skills and attitudes needed to manage polyamorous relationships add challenges that are not often found in the traditional “dating-and-marriage” model of long-term relationships. Polyamory may require a more fluid and flexible approach to love relationship, and yet operate on a complex system of boundaries or rules. Additionally, participants in a polyamorous relationship may not have, nor expect their partners to have, preconceptions as to the duration of the relationship, in contrast to monogamous marriages where a lifelong union is generally the goal. However, polyamorous relationships can and do last many years.

While I do not agree with a polyamorous it can and I have seen it last for many years. Usually a couple who are married or living together may be poly. This means that each are allowed to see other people while living together. This is not cheating. Why? Because both know about the open relationship, and each has to approve who the other may see. Again no one is going behind any ones back. The relationship is very open but both communicate each others needs.

Arianna and I attended a munch on Friday night. I do believe besides one slave we were the only couple who were monogamous. The rest were in an open poly relationship. The conversation at one time became somewhat heated, when I Condemned that type of relationship, okay so now I am back stepping. A poly relationship means many partners in most cases. You know my main concern is what is going around today. Back in the 70’s you could go to your doctor and get a shot. Today not so much.

So the key to an awesome Monogamous relationship is finding one who meets all your needs. Why step out if your needs are being met.

I lived in a Triad relationship for a couple of years while living with Chong. Chong approached me about the Triad, it was not I because all my needs were being met. Chong felt she would thrive better with a female partner living with us. After much talking I agreed on the condition she does the search, after all she had to get along with the other female. So Chong searched for about six months, and one afternoon she showed up with Beth.

If I wanted to form a Triad, I would communicate with Arianna, and I would have to come up with some good reasons on why I thought we needed a third. Many times you see dominants who want more than one slave, but they put the task on the female to do all the leg work. When you see the adds being ran by the Dominant he is posting pictures of the slave exploiting her.

So a Triad would have to be Ariannas idea and not mine. All my needs are being met. I get anything I want anytime without question.

While at the munch it did get pretty heated , one statement came out that Arianna and I had the D’s and M’s mixed up, because of the way we believe a relationship should be. I was not a real master because I did not have the balls to demand that I have another slave.

I was told Arianna had no rights to say anything if I wanted to bring in another slave. This is far from the truth, a slave or submissive does have rights. That is what I practice and what I believe.

To bring in another slave takes time away from Arianna. Then the comment was made well if the other slave took up some of her time, then let the slave fill in, fill the void. I think not.

All three of the above relationships can work. The poly requires a lot of communication. I could not picture another dude fucking Arianna, and besides I love eating pussy to much.

I am possessive very much so, not to the point of being jealous , I do not mind others looking, but keep your hands off my bitch.

Saturday night we were invited to a Birthday party, we had a lot of fun, and met new people. One couple that stood out was a Triad couple. The white couple had a black female, both females were submissive, but the way they got along was really amazing , laughed and joked, you could tell all three were very happy, and the jealousy factor was zero.

Every couple is different, every couple has different needs. Every Master has different needs as with every slave or submissive.

My thoughts are if a Dominants wants to bring another female into the picture, most subs or slaves will go along with just to please. I am almost sure the feeling of being inadequate would have to cross their mind at some point.

Again just my thoughts.

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Vile

We Train To Fit Our Needs

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, blow job, Change, Cherish, communication, control, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, events, Humiliation, Kink, kinkster, kinky, Master, Masters, Molding, molding your slave, munchs, non caring, oral, oral sex, proactive aftercare, Protocol, Protocol public, provocative, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, sex, sharing, slave, submissive, Task, training your slave on February 27, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The word train, or training to many sounds really weird even funny to a lot of people.. Training really just consist of implementing new habits.

Why do Dominants train? Because the submissive or slaves seeks that type of attention. Depending on what your mindset is depends on how far you want to carry the lifestyle.

The truth is and I do not think many will disagree with me, those who are submissive live on the lighter side of BDSM. The Dominant sets rules for the submissive but in time he becomes somewhat lax and does not really enforce. The relationship turns more to just kink,unless the submissive does something that is really out of the norm.

A Slave wants to be owned, a slave needs to have that feeling of being owned. A slave needs that structure. A slave needs to know and feel she is needed.

The hardest thing about being in a Master and Slave relationship is being able to hold the everyday consistency. To say what we mean, and mean what we do.

Once you begin to start changing habit, from where the slave is allowed to sit, the food and the amounts of food the slave is allowed. Having her clothes picked out for her, her bath and bed time. The master takes over her life basically, not an easy task by no means.

The house a slave may only have a few places she is allowed to sit. This makes her feel owned, again it becomes a habit. What she wears once home, you limit her clothing if any, again you are adding new habits.

Arianna and I watched the movie The Pet. She enjoyed the movie, not so much the outcome , but seeing the devotion that a pet could have towards her owner really drove home. The thing that really got Arianna to thinking was the speech restriction , she asked if I would be interested in such a relationship. In a way we are somewhat on the same page but only when out at events or munchs. While out that is when the protocol kicks in.

Many submissives and slaves take the lifestyle serious, until they enter into a full relationship. Once they see it really takes a lot of work, one will tend to back off and change their outlook on the type of relationship they are seeking.

Many submissives or slaves make the comments I am an open book, or I am a blank canvas paint me, but once the dominant begins to paint, thoughts rush through the subs mind. Tis is not what she expected. She feels she is giving up to much of herself and more so her freedom.

A slaves outlook is totally different. A slave does not want or require freedom, but and this is a big but, they do need down time. Down time is needed it gives the slave time to breath, relax. If you ran a car for 24 hrs a day it would break down. The same thing can happen with a slave. I give Arianna down time every week. This is her free time to do as she pleases. Right now she is working on a quilt with an old friend of hers. I give one day a week and a couple of hours. At times I can see she may be a little stressed, so I send her to the bedroom for down time. She is allowed to listen to music, or write in her journal.

The down time giving is like I blogged about proactive-aftercare. I am always on the look out to insure Arianna’s well being. She is my responsibility.

In the lifestyle I have those who just love me, then I have those who hate me. The hate comes from how I run my house. The hate comes from me being so open. If I think your bullshitting me, I will call you out on it right there. Those who love me are true friends, and they know what I am about and where I am coming from. Most of those who do not like me are new to the lifestyle. I have nothing against them, today it is more about kink, nothing really to do with BDSM.

If you look at some of the groups today on fetlife, it has really nothing to do with the letters BDSM. The words kinkster is used more often. Even munchs have moved towards the word kinkster, the Dungeon in Orlando now is about kinksters, and not BDSM

Here is the kicker. I have been asked several times if I would share Arianna. I have been asked if they could fuck her, or if I would let her give them head. Really I swear. These are the people who dislike me.

When we as dominants train, we need to look at the needs, not the wants. The idea is to break old habits and create new ones. We take the bad habits away, and replace with good positive habits. The rules should be the same way.

When I was younger my rules were more sexually based, okay so I did not know any better. It really took me a long time to realize I was doing more harm than good. I was only looking out for me. It was about 7 or 8 years into the lifestyle before I found out the slave had to come first.

If you have a dominant and your rules are just based on sex, I would rethink the relationship.Don’t get me wrong I love to fuck, but the relationship runs so much deeper. The thought process should be different, unless your just into the kink of things.

I do use a few of the slave positions , not on a daily basis. I use them to put Arianna back in that frame of mind, they make her feel somewhat humble, and she feels some humiliation, again not everyday. As long as they continue to serve there purpose I will continue to use, I tend to change things up to keep Arianna off guard.

Okay today I am just rambling , this was something that just popped in my head.

 

Vile