Archive for the sharing Category

Dominants Live Separate Lives

Posted in 24/7, abuse, anger, bdsm, Bond, Busy, Cherish, communication, control, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fantasy, Friends, Love, Master, Micromanagement, Open Minded, owning a slave, relationships, Respect, sharing, slave, Spanking, submissive, Text on January 28, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is true Dominants for the most live separate lives. When in general conversation with lets say someone who is vanilla, and I try to explain my lifestyle, most are like do you know anyone, do you know a slave or single submissive?

Yea they think it is fun and games, until I explain everything, and owning a Slave, and they are like fuck that shit, way to much work for me.

Even like the dumb ass who is staying with me, I have been trying to teach him for months, how to control his temper. I have even said  would you not want a relationship that is stress free, no arguing, no fighting. He said no>

Now many of you are probably thinking , no arguing, really? When I say no arguing that is what I mean. We Dominants should be in full control at all times. There are times when my fuse runs short, at times I do get angry, but I rarely show it. I never show in front of my property. Here is why, if we show we are not in full control, then how can our sub or slave expect us to be in control of them?

We Dominants or for the most do live separate lives. We live our everyday life for those who do not want anyone to know about their lifestyle, but anyone who knows me knows about me. Then we have to be in control of our property, on a daily basis. Then we have to stay consistent daily with rules and guidelines. We have to maintain an open line of communication, we have to be available, at a text or call. We have to not only solve our problems, but at times we have to handle our property’s problems, and in a timely manner.

I do not find this to be true if you are not 24/7. I know a Master and Slave who live together but they are not 24/7, I am not sure how that works, but it works for them.

Tish / Arianna and I are 24/7 and I am here to tell you it is not an easy task, not that I am complaining, because for one, I enjoy who I am I truly love me. The lifestyle is me and has been for as long as I can remember. The lifestyle is something I need. It is not a want, if it was a want, well I would not be here right now.

Sometimes at the end of the night, after I put Tish / Arianna to bed, that is my time to relax. I am up at 3.30am with her and she goes to bed around 7.00pm. We are in contact through out the day. When she is off sometimes she is up a little later. So at times at the end of the day, I am not physically tired but mentally. I guess what ever brain I have left is pretty tired.

I am not complaining do not get me wrong, I do care a great deal for Tish / Arianna, and I would change nothing in my life right now. I am on a level playing field right now. Life is good, and it will continue to get better I know without a doubt.

I believe it is a lot different with a submissive as a matter of fact I know it is. A submissive submits when she wants to, most of the time it is not 24/7.A slave you have to keep a tight leash on so to speak. Tish / Arianna are more Micromanagement, which is really not as difficult as one would think as long as I stay on top of everything. If you fall behind it is like trying to catch your house payment up, it is almost impossible.

Many of my friends in the lifestyle do not agree with my point of view when it comes to D’s or M’s. Many find me to be um kinda of unorthodox when it comes to the lifestyle, but it works for me. I am not going to change who I am. Many do not understand why I do not share, or why I do not want another slave. I suppose in many ways I am possessive when it comes to my property. I am not one to lay back and watch some dude fuck my slave or watch her blow someone, although she would if I told her to, but she would only to please me.

There is a breaking point, and somethings can cause more damage to a sub or slave than it can good. Many will step outside of there bubbles just to please, but later it can bring on great emotional stress or even a breakdown. Us as Dominants are not here for that, we are here for support and to build up, a shoulder to cry on when needed, hold, love and cherish.

I did something the other day I was totally against. I had to punish Tish / Arianna. One thing I said I never would do is spank as a form of punishment, but that is what I felt I had to do for the situation. To make it worse she had to complete a task while she was being spanked, and I did not stop until her task was completed. I cannot remember when I really felt as bad as I did at that moment and time, but I believe I got the point across and it will not happen again.

We as Dominants do live separate lives, I just hope that you submissive’s and Slaves know just how much we have to put into a relationship.

Much Love to all of those who visit, and to those who follow, I really appreciate all of you.

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Vile

I Was Somewhat Annoyed Last Night

Posted in abuse, Annoyed, bdsm, bi-sexual, Bond, Bondage, chain, Chained to the floor, Cherish, Christians, Consensual, controlling, Dominants, Email, fetlife, Friends, Friendship, fucking, Health, Master, Open Minded, oral, oral sex, poly, Protocol, pussy, Safe, Safe and Sane, sex, sharing, slave, sucking dick, Text, Trust, Vanilla, Verbal abuse on December 24, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Tish and I had just finished Dinner, and a knock at the door, a very good friend of mine came over , but she did not recognize him because he was not in uniform, once he told her who he was I told her to let him in. He has a habit of just showing up, but we are really close so I do not mind.

He had his slave with him, I guess they had just returned from Orlando. I could tell almost immediately that their main focus was on Tish, so I just kinda went with the flow of things. We have been really good friends for a couple of years, soI tend to look over a lot of things.

I could see him looking at his slave, as if he was waiting on something, and the subject of sharing came up again. We had already been over this or I thought,, maybe I did not make myself clear the first time.

I am not going to post pictures of Tish on here, but I did post one of us at Seaworld on my FB in my group. You have to be a member to see, sorry about that. Tish is really smoking hot, a little taller than I am, as a matter of fact I am the shortest man she has ever dated.

Anyway I just cannot believe the subject even came up again, with my friend knowing how I feel about sharing. I forget what we were talking about, and out of the blue his slave says so you do not share. Tish was standing by in the service position, and I had to remind her about offering company drinks. I did not really say anything Tish is still in the learning mode, and it does take time.

So again I explain why I do not share. Now if for some reason Tish wanted to be with a female, which she does not, I would allow, and I would not take part in anyway.. She has been with a woman before, and does not really care for it.

If I just out right told her to she would, and not even hesitate, but it would only be to please me.

Here is the thing, we as Dominants are to take care of ours. I have been mentoring a young couple who both has anger issues, but the male when he gets upset, he tends to say some very nasty things. that are very hurtful.

So I asked him, give me one good reason why you two should argue? I am just asking for one reason. He could not answer, as a matter of fact anyone reading this cannot give me a reason. She on the other hand gets angry because he has trouble telling the truth. that I can somewhat understand, but it is still not a valid reason to argue.You call him out on it confront and let it go.

Ladies, subs and slaves, here is my way of thinking. A woman no matter what her status is, vanilla, submissive, or slave. Cooks the mans meals, does his laundry, keeps the house clean. Here is the kicker, she lays on her back spreads her legs, sucks his dick, gives up the ass , and the male is going to disrespect her, get the fuck out.

Now I love to cook, I do not mind doing the dishes, I will even throw in a load of laundry, not much on folding. I was looking for a slave not a house keeper, or mother.

So if your woman is going to lay on her back and take pretty much what ever you want to do, why would you as a male, Vanilla or Dominant even think of putting your woman down, be it verbal, mental, or physical.

If your a Dominant and you have anger issues, maybe you should rethink your status.  I am not going to say I do not get upset, because I do, I even get angry, I will cuss like a sailor, but never I repeat never at my property. I would never disrespect her in anyway shape or form. Now if you are not in my circle, I do not even see you, I want nothing to do with you, I could really careless. If you are my friend, I will bend over backwards to help you.

So the couple last night are very religious, I do not understand the sharing, but both are very christian like. I started to explain in Viles words.

Look I love to eat pussy way to much, to be down there, and I have this mental picture of some dude banging my bitch. I love to kiss, so thinking of her sucking some dudes cock, well that is not going to happen.

They did exchange phone numbers, and fetlife id’s . Tish received a text about a half hour later. Tish likes to be restrained at night, so I bought her a chain and padlocks , she explained in the text, her chain was ready and she was turning in for the night.

Okay even if I did want her to be with another female, knowing that is really not her thing, is that really fair to Tish. Could it be detrimental to her well being? Sure it could.

As a Dominant, I am suppose to lookout for Tish, not only physically but mentally. , if I force her to do something she really does not want to do, what kind of Dominant does that make me? Will she still respect me after it is all said and done? I think the feelings would change somewhat. I broke my word, from the start I made it clear I do not share. I do not mind someone looking, but hands off. If you were to see Tish’s body you would understand why I do not mind someone else looking.

I was somewhat disappointed in my friend because he had his slave ask yet again, he knew I would not say anything out of the way to her.

I do want Tish to make friends with other Subs and slaves in the lifestyle. I think that is very important for her growth. So she has an understanding of how others live. I would think that would be something every dominant would want.

So call me greedy, stingy, but the bottom line is my pussy is just that my pussy. My friend who was over last night is not the first, it is like dudes are coming out of the woods. WTF.

I just do not get it.

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Verbal and Written Slave Contracts

Posted in 24/7, abuse, bdsm, communication, Fear, Health, Honesty, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Call, Safe Word, Sane, Scared, selfish, sharing, slave, Slave Contract, Verbal contract on December 12, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Slave contract is something I have not seen blogged about here, so I wanted to give my input on the subject.

There are those who truly take the lifestyle very serious, and feel more comfortable when a slave contract is in place. Then some Dominants feel they need that kind of power in place for what ever reason. Then at times a slave who does not know any better will agree, just to please.

The most common is the verbal. Some Dominants who need this kind of power will try to impose such conditions on a new submissive or slave. The slave really has no idea, and has probably ran across a contract on the net at some point. The verbal contracts are usually taking to the extreme, and can change on a daily basis to fit the Owners needs, just as rules seem to change to fit the owners needs.

The second is the written contract. Why this is really needed I do not have a clue. I suppose it could make the slave feel more secure, and needed. Truly feel owned to have a purpose.I would never ask for such a thing, I may consider if it was something the slave felt it was a need.

Before you enter a relationship, you pretty much lay all the cards out on the table, so each knows what to expect. Both know their places, so I really see no need for a contract.

Under some contracts a Dominant at times takes things to an extreme. Timed sex, oral, and even sharing. Cleaning , cooking, and so on, everything is timed. The slave has no down time. The contract usually goes one way and has no true benefit for the slave. A one way contract.

Many slaves will sign or agree to a verbal out of fear. Either losing someone they care about, or the fear of punishment.

It does not matter the contract, the slave has rights as well. This is over looked way to often, and most Dominants will fail to bring that part of the contract up.

The slave has the right to have an open line of communication.The other day I said something, and Tish asked if I could clarify what I had just said. The slave has the right to be safe at all times. The slave has the right to refuse to do anything that may cause harm or be illegal. The slave has the right to refuse anything that may put her career in jeopardy. The slave has the right to a safe word if they should choose.  The slave has the right to not be shared.

The other day a Friend of mine who owns three slaves came to visit from Daytona. He did bring his favorite with him, and his main topic was Tish. Instead of him asking he had his slave bring the subject up about sharing. I made it very clear I shared nothing. I do not mind someone looking, but to touch is totally out of the question. I knew why he had her bring it up. He knew I would not get upset with his slave, or say anything disrespectful. I can understand his way of thinking. Tish has a body built for sin..

I then brought up the question why one would need to own more than one. His answer was to add spice.

Before I enter a relationship I lay everything out on the table. My needs and what I expect out of the relationship. That is my spice. I get anything I want at home, so there is no need to stray.

Below is a sample contract, kinda mild compared to some of the others floating around out there.

Sample

Author Unknown

NOTE: It should go without saying that a “contract” such as this is not legally binding. Documents such as these are intended only to provide a fantasy environment for extended role-playing.

1.0.0 Slave’s Role

The slave agrees to submit completely to the master in all ways. There are no boundaries of place, time, or situation in which the slave may willfully refuse to obey the directive of the master without risking punishment, except in situations where the slave’s veto (see section 1.0.1) applies. The slave also agrees that, once entered into the Slavery Contract, their body belongs to their master ,, to be used as seen fit, within the guidelines defined herein. All of the slave’s possessions likewise belong to the master , including all assets, finances, and material goods, to do with as they see fit. The slave agrees to please the master to the best of their ability, in that they now exist solely for the pleasure of said master .

1.0.1 Slave’s Veto

The slave, where appropriate, holds veto power over any command given by the master , at which time they may rightfully refuse to obey that command. This power may only be invoked under the following circumstances, or where agreed by both master and slave:

  1. Where said command conflicts with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest, or prosecution of the slave .
  2. Where said command may cause extreme damage to slave’s life, such as losing their job, causing family stress, etc.
  3. Where said command may cause permanent bodily harm (see 4.0.0) to the slave .
  4. Where said command may cause psychological trauma to the slave, such as a rape scene for a slave that has been raped in the past.

2.0.0 Master’s Role

The master accepts the responsibility of the slave’s body and worldly possessions, to do with as they see fit, under the provisions determined in this contract. The master agrees to care for the slave , to arrange for the safety and well-being o f the slave , as long as they own the slave . The master also accepts the committment to treat the slave properly, to train the slave, punish the slave, love the slave, and use the slave as they see fit.

3.0.0 Punishment

The slave agrees to accept any punishment the master decides to inflict, whether earned or not.

3.0.1 Rules of Punishment

Punishment of the slave is subject to certain rules designed to protect the slave from intentional abuse or permanent bodily harm (see 4.0.0). Punishment must not incur permanent bodily harm, or the following forms of abuse:
1. Blood may not be drawn at any time. Punishment must stop immediately if blood is drawn
2. Burning the body
3. Drastic loss of circulation
4. Causing internal bleeding
5. Loss of consciousness
6. Withholding of any necessary materials, such as food, water, or sunlight for extended periods of time

4.0.0 Permanent Bodily Harm

Since the body of the slave now belongs to the master , it is the master’s responsibility to protect that body from permanent bodily harm. Should the slave ever come to permanent bodily harm during the course of punishment or in any other slavery related activity, whether by intention or accident, it will be grounds for immediate termination of this contract, should the slave so desire. Permanent bodily harm shall be determined as:

  1. Death
  2. Any damage that involves loss of mobility or function, including broken bones.
  3. Any permanent marks on the skin, including scars, burns, or tattoos, unless accepted by the slave .
  4. Any loss of hair, unless accepted by the slave .
  5. Any piercing of the flesh which leaves a permanent hole, unless accepted by the slave .
  6. Any diseases that could result in any of the above results, including sexually transmitted diseases.

5.0.0 Others

The slave may not seek any other master or lover or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without the master’s permission. To do so will be considered a breach of contract, and will result in extreme punishment. The master may accept other slaves or lovers, but must consider the slave’s emotional response to such actions and act accordingly. Under no circumstance should the master allow such actions to unbalance the slave emotionally, or allow such actions to result in ignoring the slave .

The master may give the slave to other masters, provided the rules of this contract are upheld. In such a situation, the master will inform the new master of the provisions stated herein, and any breach by the new master will be considered a breach by the master as well, subject to all rules stated in this contract.

6.0.0 Secrecy

All physical evidence of the slavery will be kept in total secrecy, except where both master and slave agree. Any violation of this clause shall be cause to terminate this contract, should the injured party wish it. The materials and physical evidence shall be kept under lock and key in a place acceptable to both parties.

7.0.0 Alteration of Contract

This contract may not be altered, except when both master and slave agree. If the contract is altered, the new contract shall be printed and signed, and then the old contract must be destroyed.

8.0.0 Termination of Contract

This contract may be terminated at any time by the master , but never by the slave, except under special conditions explained within this contract. Upon termination, all physical evidence of the slavery, including this contract, will be destroyed, and all materials and belongings shall belong to the master , to be shared or kept as they see fit. The slave , owning nothing and having agreed to give up all worldly possessions and body to the master , shall once again own their body, but nothing else, unless the master decides to give back their possessions.

9.0.0 Slave’s Signature

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to give everything I own to my master, and further accept their claim of ownership over my physical body. I understand that I will be commanded and trained and punished as a slave, and I promise to be true and to fulfill the pleasures and desires of my master to the best of my abilities. I understand that I cannot withdraw from this contract except as stated in this contract.

Signature:____________

9.0.1 Master’s Signature

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this slave as my property, body and possessions, and to care for them to the best of my ability. I shall provide for their security and well-being and command them, train them, and punish them as a slave. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to the slave as long as they are mine. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time.

Signature:____________

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Vile

To Shun Or Not To Shun

Posted in abuse, bdsm, communication, control, controlling, Discipline, Dominants, Drama, extreme, Health, Married Dominant, Master, sharing, Shun, Sub Drop on November 11, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I see topics from other blogs that tend to catch my eye, and some I find very interesting. Some I agree with, some I do not.

I have stated before you will never hear me speak badly of another Dominant. We all train different, we all have different expectations, we all have different goals, and needs.

I can tell you this. The lifestyle is about positive reinforcement. This is at least 85% of the relationship. then communication, and last but not least the kinky, you break the rest down, I hate fucking math.

In the lifestyle more so in the last 10 years or so, Sub-Drop has become an epidemic like a bad virus going around, yea I am going to blame it on the pansexual explosion , I have to blame somebody right?

Despite what most of you Dominants or subs think, Sub-Drop is preventable, I do not care if you believe me or not. If you stop and think when you do experience Sub-Drop you will see that I am correct as a matter of fact I am seldom wrong. Cocky Huh ?

Sub-Drop this happens when two are in a long distance relationship, I have seen this all to many times. I have been asked. Why am I feeling this way? Okay the Basic’s Subs and Slaves alike are needy, very needy. This is not a bad thing, go ahead and say I am not needy. Well your lying , that is the bottom line. In a long distance relationship there is noway your needs can be met. If you are seeing a Married Dom, you cannot tell me your needs are being met. The bottom line is, you are number two and will always will be. There are exceptions there are some who are happy with this arrangement, my hat goes off to you. If it does work for you, go for it, I am not here to judge anyone.

The Dominants drama, with the Ex, WTF in the last year this is a growing epidemic. A Dominant wants to control a sub, but his ex is controlling him, has him by the balls, and at the drop of a pin he will jump.Again if this is the life you want go for it.

No Aftercare, aftercare is just not needed after play, aftercare is an on going process, continuous aftercare more so after play will prevent sub-drop, on all levels. While it is true that after a hard session some just want to be left alone for a while, once the submissive has gathered her thoughts then you proceed with aftercare.

Discipline some need on a daily basis to keep in check, some need that attention, some crave that attention, if not giving again sub-drop.

When we as Dominants are going to punish for what ever reason, we have to make it clear, very clear, as to why we feel the need to punish. If we do not talk to, and give a complete understanding, yes again sub-drop.

Shunning is one of the most effective ways to punish a submissive. It kills her not only to know she has done something wrong, but to ignore, is a very heavy medicine. So before we do this, which I never have, we need to make it clear as to why we are doing so, and for how long.

We as Dominants want the responsibility, then we want all the kink as well. We want it yesterday. So there is a fine line we have to walk. We set the example, we lead, we chose this path, so we have to not only be Dominants, fair Dominants, but grown men as well. We are looked up to. We are looked to for guidance.

Some of the shit I read just fucking irks me to know end, but Vile keeps his mouth shut.

I will say this, if you the submissive chooses one or more of the paths I described above. Live with it. You made the decision, you went into the relationship with an open mind or at least I would think you would have. Or you did not ask the right questions from the start, or your scared to question your Dominant when that is your right. If you feel any of the above, it is your right to question, you have the right to make demands. You are not a doormat…… There is not one reason, when in a long distance relationship, why a Dominant cannot stay in daily contact, we are talking a five min phone call, a text, an email. Five minutes of their time.

One more thing this is true in most cases, if you are seeing a married Dominant, please do not think for one minute you are the only one on the side, because you are not. Okay I just pissed a lot of people off, why because I speak the truth.

There are some cases where both are married, it may work for both, it does not work for me. I could not carry that kind of guilt on my shoulders. Some are happy with that type of arrangement. Again my hat goes off to you. I can tell you this, if your time with your married Dom has dropped, for no reason, guess what you just moved to number three. You can agree or you can disagree.

ImageSo you choose to walk the stairs alone, or hand in hand.

Vile

You are a Reflection of your Dominant

Posted in abuse, bdsm, communication, control, controlling, Protocol, Protocol public, Punishment, relationships, Religion, Safe and Sane, Sane, sharing, slave, Spanking, submissive, training your slave, violence on November 1, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I may have posted on this topic before. I did not want to scroll through 350 post to see. This was just something I was thinking about last night, while in bed.

I taught a Munch in Deland Florida for short time, but dues to an accident I was in, and a great lack of respect towards the lifestyle, and here we go again the protocol.

A friend of mine and I arrived early the first munch, C who is a Dominant has been a good friend on and off for sometime. It was funny because after Bea and I broke up, she ended up seeing C for about a year. He had gone through her phone and retrieved my phone number and email. After the split he contacted me.

We had already ordered our drinks, I drink sweet tea when out. I never drink and drive, I save the Jack for home.

I was seeing someone named Lynn , she was the married Jehovah Witness I have spoken about. I picked her up, then swung by and picked up C and we were sitting and talking about what ever, and I turn and see this couple walking towards us, I look at C and ask him what the fuck is that.

The Dom was dressed okay, but his submissive wow. She looked like she had just come from a homeless shelter. Her hair was not brushed, she was a bigger woman which does not matter, it is how you carry yourself. She had no bra on , wearing an old tank top and a pair of cotton shorts her crotch was eating.

Lyn who is taller than I am stands at about 5 ‘ 9 135lbs and is well over 6ft in heels. She was wearing a tight skirt that barely covered her ass, with a real nice blouse on, and makeup. It always took her about 6 hrs to get ready, ill never understand that, but you could tell the other submissive felt uncomfortable, and she should have.

I am going to start attending a munch next month a Mistress has just started in Port Orange Florida. Jane and I have pretty much the same belief’s and protocol when it comes to the lifestyle, I believe she may be a little more stricter than I am.

The BDSM community is really pretty small. Once you get out and start attending local events you are sure to run into someone while out in public. I have several people in the lifestyle on a few of my social sites, but very vanilla, with the exception of one submissive who just post some pretty wild shit. I do not care let her be who she is..

So your looking for a Dominant, once you have made that step, you begin a new learning process, a whole new world. He is going to take windows XP out and install windows 8.

When you first meet sex should be the last agenda. I very seldom have sex with a new submissive with in the first month maybe longer.

Now there are some exceptions to my rule, but never I mean never on the first couple of meetings. It takes a month or longer to get to know someone, this is seeing someone on a regular basis. If you start the relationship out sexual, then that is all you have.

Once the submissive has giving herself, that takes things to a new level, so we as Dominants should take note, if we are ready to move that fast.

The KEY to gaining ones submission is being able to get into the submissive’s head. The Key to getting a submissive to submit, is to gain her respect. The Key to leading, and having one follow is to show you are in full control, and not controlling.

You cannot begin to give out rules just from chatting and talking on the phone. You as the Dominant cannot possibly know the submissive on that level. Again the Key is getting to know her. This takes time, just as dating someone, and wanting a relationship, it takes time to build a foundation.

Yes there are exceptions to the rules above. If the two are just interested in a kink relationship, and they see it going no further, then go for it, have fun. Go for it.

While in a relationship, I encourage my slave to speak with other slaves or subs, even Dominants. I want to show the difference in the lifestyle, the way some of the subs or slaves live, their rules, and protocol.

There is a Master and Slave couple who lives in south Florida who have been master and slave since they were just out of high school, they have been married 25 years now, while her and I are closer, R did monitor our chat conversations for sometime, and I understand that. The talk should never turn negative, nor should it turn sexual. I am sure that from time to time he will ask her to pull the chats up, and that is a very good idea.

There are several Dominants of respect for here in the area., and I speak with both, but in a respectful way as it should be.

The reflection, is how you as a submissive carry yourself when out, with friends, how you dress act. You never know when someone in the lifestyle may see you, or who you may run into.

Now the same goes for your Dominant, for the most we are calm cool and collective. We are in control and should act as such while out. We are a leader not a follower.

Being a Dominant does not happen over night, nor is it easy. As with most men we have anger issues, and alter ego, and controlling. So we have to take the time and yes install a new windows, so to speak, we have to reprogram the way we act, speak. We have to learn the difference between being in control, and not controlling. Then the other, the Bondage, spanking, all the other kink. I was taught 90% of what I know, and there is more I want to explore, but I need to be shown. I have never nor do I want to hurt anyone.

So we as Dominants have the same protocol if not higher, while in public or private. We are teachers, well so to speak.

The reprogramming is not an easy task, the first is our tempers, all males have a temper, but again the KEY is learning to control it. This took me several years.Although I do contribute much to me belief’s and meditation, it is simply thinking about what your going to say before the words come out. More so if your angry.

If you as a Dominant are angry, no matter what this is something that we should not show, in front of ours. So the KEY is to clearly think before we speak, take in a deep breath, then let the words flow.

There is never an instance when a Dom should yell, or fight with a sub or slave, after all who is really in charge. When you as the Dominant show anger , we are now showing a weakness, this is a new button for the sub to push.

A submissive will push her limits, to see how far she can go, just what she can and cannot get away with. It is up to us, to stay in control. Many times this will throw the sub for a loop, when you stay in full control of a situation.

Again if we cannot control our emotions, how do we control a submissive. You will find that by punishing will get you much further. I am not speaking of beating, or spanking. Most subs love to be spanked, if you beat or threaten, that falls under abuse.

You take something away that is very dear to them, their laptop, kindle, corner time, or just simply ignore, that is the killer, but before you punish you need to sit down and explain why you are doing what your doing, in a nice even, in control voice. You will find you will gain much more ground, and the respect level will go higher as well.

Remember communication again is the KEY. you as a Dominant should set time aside each day to just talk, give your submissive free rein , let her express herself, her needs, without worry of being punished, you will find this will help you grow.

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Vile

Once again , So your submissive and he is not Dominant

Posted in bdsm, communication, control, kinky, Low Testosterone, provocative, sharing, submissive, The Surrendered Wife, use me on June 20, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Here is a question that was asked and I will answer it to the best of my knowledge.

I am going to play Dr. Vile this am, a nastier version of Dr. Phil. Hmm I like that Dr.Vile, I just may have something there.

Most women do not develop these feeling of being submissive until they hit there late 30’s early 40’s , I guess like me at 49 and wanting a 1978 Camero  Z28, white with blue trim, hmm a 4 speed.

Anyway you begin to have these kinky feelings and thoughts, so you start dropping little hints to your hubby, then you become bolder and fully explain what you need , or at least want to try.

Here is the bad news ladies, if you have been married any length of time your husband does not view you in this manner. He does not want to fuck you, he wants to make love. He does not want to spank you because he does not want to humiliate you in this fashion. Your husband loves you. He loves what he has built, in his life time.

Many married men have affairs just for this reason, they can see someone else, who they can fuck, and do all the nasty thing they want, and go home to there loving wife.

Yea it sounds wrong and it is, but the fact of the matter is many men have trouble communicating on this level. So ladies it is not you.

The truth is a lot of men want kink, again the love thing gets in the way, they do not see you as there bedroom whore, they see you as their wife and the mother of your children.

I am not going to say it cannot change, but your at less than 50% of a chance of getting him to open up the way you want or need, he is already in the swing of things.

A touchy subject if he is in his late 30’s early 40’s there could be a low T thing going on, yea bring that up to your hubby and see what happens. Most men do not even realize what is going on, or even notice.

Now here is what you can do to make him take notice, start dressing a little more provocative, make him take notice to you, sit him down and talk to him about your newly found needs. You have to be forward and open about the subject. Bring it up as a friend told you about her feelings and what they did to spice things up. Tell your husband I am here this is yours do what you want. I do mean anything.

Set up a movie night, with your hubby, some drinks. Rent a movie called The Secretary, a very good BDSM movie, somewhat low budget but very good.

Second there is a book I recommend every woman to read, No not the Fifty Shades Of Grey, a good fantasy book, it could happen, but I truly doubt it, no not the story of O. A book called the Surrendered Wife. This is a true story of how a woman turned her marriage around and was able to turn total control over to her husband without him even knowing it. Yes to all the women you can train your husband.

http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=surrendered+wife&tag=mh0b-20&index=aps&hvadid=23056170&ref=pd_sl_3h9ssohyw2_e

Finely if the above does not work, order a vibrator, wait for your husband to go to work, and spend an hour with George Clooney. Not much more you can do at this point, unless you want to stray. I do not condone this , but who am I to judge.

3rd do not listen or watch Dr. Phil I am serious, can you picture him tying  his wife up and spanking her, I didn’t think so.

Dr Viles office is open.. All hours..

Much Love ladies.

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Vile

Dominants Need Aftercare As Well

Posted in Aftercare, bdsm, Bond, Cherish, communication, control, sharing on June 19, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Okay so being a dominant is not the easiest thing in the world, after all not only are we in charge of our own life, we have taken on the responsibility of a submissive/slave. Sometimes our every day life is pretty hectic , just life in general.

The dominant also has a submissive/ slave he is responsible for, her well being, on many different levels, emotionally , physically. We set time aside just for communication. There are times we may not feel like playing, but we do to please, we know the submissive/slave has needs as well. We have taken on this role and have agreed to take care of.

Many of us work very long hours, and we come home to our pet, and our day begins again. We do not complain, nor do we show we are tired, or we may not feel well, but we keep going.

During our everyday life we have to fix problems before they become problems, we are always alert, in control, and in control of our surroundings. Then we have our pet, we insure they stay on the right track, in some cases we plan out the day for them. We sit and listen when they have a concern, and we put together a plan.

No it is not easy being a dominant, but it is our life, it runs through our veins, we are who we are, and we are not going to change. Our partners try desperately to figure us out, but never will.  Our pets wonder everyday, how do we do it?

Aftercare plays a major role in the lifestyle, this is a very emotional time for the submissive/slave, this is a need, not a want. A submissive/ slave needs to know they are appreciated, and cared for. Think about it, if we just played or used and walked away it would make you feel pretty worthless.

My aftercare is a need as well, I need that same feeling. After a long session, my aftercare, is letting you curl up in my lap, I am holding you, petting you, pulling you as close as I can, it is like we are becoming one, we can feel our heart beat. Yes I am content. I can tell by the way you hold me, nestle your lips against my neck.

At this point my mind is blank, I am not thinking anything, yes my mind is at ease. I am so relaxed, this is what I live for. I love hearing those words thank you.

So yes aftercare to a dominant is very important, we have the same feeling as you do. At times we seem cold, out of touch, maybe even a little selfish, but deep down our feelings run deep. We do not show them often, to us it is a sign of weakness.

Come to me pet, let me hold you….

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Vile