This is just in general but I have posted in the past about a Dominant having to earn Submission, having to earn trust. Those are huge task and task that really takes dedication.
When we turn the page there is a very different view , a view into a whole different world. I myself work on a earn system , you want my Dominance you earn it. You learn to communicate… You learn to express your feelings , your needs.
Someone can only make a Decision based on the information giving. We as Dominants are not mind readers , and I know myself I am not willing to put that much effort if the other party is not willing to do the above.
BDSM is not just about sex although many think along those lines. There are those who are that simple minded, or those who have no set goals in life or those who do not wish to better themselves.
We are only giving one life , one thing that is for sure we do not know when the end is coming.
You as a submissive or slave expects the Dominant to give 110% , why would you think a Dominant would expect any less?
The kink is good , the bondage , the cock sucking , spanking , humiliation, but all of this comes with requirements from both.
There are just as many women who abuse men as there are men who abuse. In my day I have met some gold digging bitches. I have met those who lied and knew they were lying and just looking into their eyes and agreeing. I was thinking how stupid they would feel if they knew they were lying to me.
I was not born yesterday my degree comes from the street. At a younger age I learned early on to watch , listen and observe. I knew how I wanted to turn out and how I did not want to.
You wake one morning and hit a website on submission and all of a sudden you are on a mission from hell. You join dating sites even like Match hoping to find a Dom , you join kinky sites in hopes of finding the right one. The thing is nothing is going to fall from the sky and in comes a knight in shinning armor. If you are not willing to put a little effort in looking you are going to end up with the wannabes , the abusers. You wont listen to anyone even when asking for advice then you find yourself in a car sucking cock and pushed out the door when he blows his load in your mouth.
If you want something you have to work for it, if something is just giving there is no appreciation , there is no value, there is no need.
You spend hours sitting on the couch with your cell in hand waiting on that text , that email and in the end it never comes.
Getting your ass beat does not equal submission , sucking cock or taking it up the ass does not equal submission… That may be your way of submitting and if it is you are very sad.
You can be submissive but giving up that control is a different subject. You have to be able to share your thoughts and needs. Putting on a collar means absolutely nothing if it was not earned.
You want a relationship that has meaning , you want a relationship that has substance. You want to be able to reach out and touch.
No one is going to rescue you , if a Dom is willing to tackle such a relationship it is to feed his own ego. All decisions come with choices and consequences. Rescuing you will fix nothing and entering a relationship when your life is just fucked up is not fair. I will not fix you , I can give advice , I can give you my opinion it is up to you to decide what is right and what is wrong.
There are those who have known nothing but being miserable , depressed , drama infected, Problematic you create your own poison then you want someone to clean up your mess.
You have to be willing to give all , while I do not fully understand those who live as a part time submissive I do respect that if it is you. If you are a bedroom submissive be up front and truthful.
It is easy to fake it till you make it but that will only last so long. You may have good intentions but no idea what path you are wanting to take or no idea who you are.
You have to need rules , you have to need structure , you have to need protocols , you have to be willing to work and build a relationship. You have to have the need to be trained.
There are those who have been used as a object your entire life and know no better, you are not able to see the mistakes but still wonder what is wrong.
There are those who move from one abusive relationship to another not knowing any better or how to fix it. Maybe it just seems like to much work or will take to much effort. Your drawn to the same type of men expecting things to turn out different.
I use to think that if a M’s or D’s relationship ended it was the Doms fault but it can fall on the submissive.
Dominance is a gift just as Submission it has to work the same on both sides of the fence.
In my home it is my way and my way only , if I need advice or maybe looking for another idea then I ask, but in the end I make the final decision.
In the end just be you.