Archive for the Slave Onwer Category
First let me say I am against abuse in any form when it comes to a woman. Many of you are being abused and you do not even have a clue. If you are being abuse be it physical or mental, even verbally then get out and seek help.
My relationship with my wife and slave is purely consensual , it is a lifestyle Arianna longs and lives for. As each day passes our love continues to grow stronger . Arianna has a craving for submission, she would be the happiest living in total solitude.
I live a strictly M’s lifestyle , there is no negotiations, none. I run a very strict home. I have rules and protocols that are followed. The rules that are in place are not sexual, and I highly disagree with those Dominants who use rules in a sexual manner. Rules are meant to help, rules are meant to provide structure, security, and help with everyday living. I have tried to lives a D’s lifestyle more than once and neither worked out. A submissive submits on their terms, in my house it is on my terms. Above, I spoke about anger issues when I was younger. Anger issues or a temper has no place in the lifestyle. I have never raised my voice towards Arianna nor have I ever left a mark. As Far as the M’s part goes, I am more into the Discipline part . In my life I need structure. I need to have a plan, a daily plan. We, Arianna and I, live a drama free life. We have no problems. I take care of things before they become problems.
I was in Germany when I met Gretchen she was 19 long blonde hair, one night after fucking, she said I was gemein and when translated you get the word Vile. Gretchen had this goth look about her, corsets, micro mini skirts and boots that kiss would wear. I just wanted to share where I got the name Vile. I will probably ramble on a bit before I get into anything.
In the past I have posted a little about who I am but I never have gotten into any great detail. I have been into the lifestyle for longer than I can remember, dating back into my teens, before I even knew what BDSM was all about. Even in my teens, I had the need to be in control.
I grew up in a very small town in Northern Georgia. My 8th grade class had 23 people in our graduation. Going into high school it was somewhat bigger with only about a thousand kids in the but 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th grade combined. So, compared to today’s school it was small. I played baseball in elementary and high school. I was a relief pitcher. I was only good for 2 or 3 innings due to my side arm throw. At the age of 16, I was throwing 86 MPH so after a few innings my elbow would swell.
I was popular with most of the guys, but I cannot say the same about the girls , due to my sexual behavior. At that age I enjoyed bondage, face fucking, and anal. I was game for pretty much anything. It was a control thing. This was about the time I was fucking Beverly, our school whore. I cannot really say she was a whore. She just liked to fuck, and she would let you fuck any hole.
I caught onto life pretty fast as I grew up in an abusive home. Both parents were addicted to pain medications and, of course, alcohol. The one thing I learned on a daily basis is that I was not going to be like them. To this day I could never figure out why they argued. My real mother has since past but my father is still living and we have somewhat of a good relationship. I have one brother who just turned 46, and by the way, I am 51. Him and I talk often but have only seen each other maybe 3 or 4 times in the past 15 years.
I have never really been into drugs although as a teen I tried to smoke all the pot in the world but they just grew more, so I lost that battle. I have never done any hard drugs such as cocaine. I am not big on pills but I do have a drink from time to time. Every now and then I will get sideways but that is far and few.
I learned about the lifestyle shortly after I joined the Army and was stationed in Korea, and even then I just happened to stumble into it. I was introduced to an old man named Kim who lived with 5 slaves. I met Kim through a korean solider whose name was Kim as well. In Korea they are called Katusas. There they were paid what was then about six dollars a month and they sent half of that home. So I would help Kim out with smokes and take him out for beers. In time, we grew really close. One night he invited me out and we went to a small theater. There were about 100 seats, maybe less. It was an actual BDSM show live on stage. I was then hooked, something just clicked.
There is a huge difference in the lifestyle in Korea than in the US. In Korea, a Slave would have nothing to do with a Dominant or a Master unless she knew who trained you. Since the lifestyle in Asia is so underground, it is probably still the same. There are no submissives or baby girls. There were Slaves. The older Kim taught me a lot, how to communicate, how to control my temper through meditation, how to listen, but more so, how to read people. Reading people is truly an art. That short time I spent in Korea I learned more than I truly knew, and it would take only a short time to put the things I learned to good use.
Once back in the states, I was still young and dumb, but I had a couple of things on my side. I no longer had a temper. I was very calm and I knew how to get into someones head. All of the sex, face fucking, and ass fucking meant nothing but now I had a weapon that was very effective.
So for many years I spent most of my time just using people. I would get what I wanted and just toss to the side and look for the next. This went on for a number of years. To me a long term relationship was a three day weekend, much more past that and I became bored.
One thing I did learn from an early age, and it can be good and bad, was learning to speak my mind. If I thought it, I said it. Another thing I learned was to observe people. I am a people watcher. What I learned from watching people is how I did not want to live.
So I have had several long term relationships but have only been in what I would call love, maybe 3 times in my 51 years. That is not a very good track record. In between, up until a couple of years ago, there were a couple of times I settled for less than what I needed and wanted, knowing it was not going to work but I am human. All I cared about was having a steady piece of ass when I wanted it.
How you see me here, is me. I do not change. I am the same at home, in public, at work or at a local munch. I am me and I never try to be someone I am not. I live by the truth and the truth only.
I remember several years ago, and this is what hit me, I was at a Chinese buffet with a friend, Animel, and another friend showed up with a date. When he said, “Hey Vile, whats up?, I asked them to sit down and join us. His date was just staring at me. When she finally asked if I use to live in such and such apartments, I said yes. She actually started trembling and told her date she wanted to leave. She was truly scared of me. On my way home Animel and I were laughing at her, but once home I mixed a jack and coke and I stood outside on the river bank, where I started thinking. Wow, if she was scared of me, just how many more feel the same way. Then it hit me, being feared is nothing to be proud of. That was not what I wanted to be known as. So, I put a plan together and I was going on a Vile clean up campaign. I was going to be my own public relations manger. I was going to clean the story of Vile up.
I became more active in the community. I started doing a lot of speaking, dating more, changing up my way of playing, putting my sadistic nature to the side, and before I knew it I was back in the game. I was back in the hunt. I was no longer feared, I was very respected in the community, and today even more so. So a year later, standing outside looking over the river, drinking a jack and coke, I thought to myself, well done Vile you did the impossible.
I was still missing something though, and I could not put my finger on it. Then one day, I was at Bush Gardens and I saw all of these families walking by with kids and I said, that is it man, you need a wife and a kid. So off I went, 3 months later I was married and a short time after she was pregnant. We lost our first son to a heart transplant at the young age of 18 days. By this time, I had enough of the vanilla life and I had to get back to being me, and then, wow she was pregnant again. So I stuck it out for another 5.5 years then I finally had to come clean about who and what I was.
Now I was married for nine years to the most vanilla woman in the world, the sex was horrible, she could not suck a dick to save her life, and no ass fucking. I said, you are killing me here. So after I came clean, she agreed to let me move a Slave in, yea baby , but she was only an in service slave, NO SEX. My ex-wife was a horrible house keeper, she could not cook and clutter was everywhere. So, I moved this bitch in and immediately she went to work. A week later and there was a spotless house, meals cooked every night, my lunch packed and kids off to school. This was the life. So my ex gets jealous and says you both have to go. Let me think, okay I am out of here. I told the slave, hey its been nice, love ya now go back home.
I have a very good relationship with my Ex wife, there is no drama, Arianna and her get along good, my son also likes Arianna. So now, life is good.
So here i am, I am me, this is who I am. If I were to try and be something different, what would people who read this think of me. I tell the truth , I live by the truth.
Many have asked for advice and when I tell them what they do not want to hear, most get mad. If I told everyone what they wanted to hear where would that get you ? I do not want you to agree with everything I write, or the way I believe, or the way I think. My writing is subjective and I want to make you think.
Much of my writing is about safety, okay so Ive had a change of heart over the past several years. I speak on safety because you, as a submissive or slave, can get fucked up. You can get hurt and hurt bad. Most do not think before entering a relationship, more so the new who are entering the lifestyle. You do not listen until it is to late. You want what you want and you want it now. It does not work that way.
So the next morning when you wake up and your bruised from head to toe, or something is broken, you can think back, yea Vile told me, and I did not listen. Bondage is no game and if you get some dude that does not have a clue to what he is doing, you just may not wake up the next morning.
Most new Doms are into hard impact play. Again, if he does not know what he is doing he could break something, or even worse while spanking, he hits to high and to hard, you could lose a kidney. BDSM is not a game, you can get fucked up. In Bondage there are many no’s. You can damage tendons if tied to tight. Remember that when you meet a Dom for the first time and he brings his little travel bag and he is totally clueless about what he is going to do. Yea take his word when he says, “oh, I have been in the lifestyle for 20 years”. Are you really going to take his word ?
The first thing I did when Arianna and I agreed to enter a relationship, was to introduce her to people I knew in the lifestyle. People I had known for years. There is nothing like the feeling of being safe. Keeping your girls safe is what the majority of my writing is about, it is up to you if you listen or not. Again, why do you think that over 95% of the 440+ followers of my blog are women and there are so few men? I am not here to put other Doms or Masters down. I am not here to say I am better than your Master, because I am not. We all have our own way of living.
Being a Submissive or Slave is not about being on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor, doing laundry , cooking or cleaning house. Being a Slave is not about being passed around like a dog, unless that is your kink, if so, then go with the flow. Being a Slave does not mean your stupid or you cannot think on your own. You are human, but a Human with different needs. Slaves are needy for the most as with those who are submissive. You should not have to change who you are. I like needy myself, I like my Bitch to hang all over me. If your Master excepted you the way you were then he should not try and change you.
I share things because I want you to see what kind of relationship you can have, a relationship filled with love and respect. A relationship where you are cared for. A relationship filled with communication, then you add all of the kink. You do not have to put up with drama, you do not have to put up with lies , you do not have to put up with abuse or arguing. The list goes on and on. Before a Slave or Submissive, you are a human. You have feelings. You have needs and they should be met. If they are no,t speak your mind and if things do not change, fucking leave.
Why would a Master argue with his Slave? Who is in charge at this point? Why would you allow a Master to Slap you around, degrade you, humiliate you in anger, call you names out of anger. Why would you allow such things? You as a slave or submissive have the right to be happy and treated with respect. You do not need someones drama brought into your life nor should you bring your drama with you.
I put a lot of work into my relationship, 25 hours a day, 8 days a week, 366 days a year. I take care of mine and only mine. I am there through good and bad. I am there when Arianna gets emotional . My time is dedicated to her and only her. I am not looking to add to my house. Because I get anything I want when I want. She would never think of saying NO. Be it sucking my cock, fucking , anal anything. Why ? Because I go above and beyond to insure she is taking care of. She knows that not matter what she comes first. That is the way it should be.
Be who and what you are, and make sure your Master does the same.
I need that control, it is like I thrive, it is like fuel. That is one thing we all have to master. The Mastery of being in control.
Some say I am somewhat unethical in the way I run our relationship. Most will say I am to strict. Most say I have to much control. They may be right in everything they are saying, but the key factor is. It is not their house. So in the end they can think what ever they want but it does not matter they have no control over me or how I run my home.
That being said. My entire world revolves around Arianna. She is the only one I care about. She is the only one I have to take care of or worry about.
The other night we were talking about somethings I liked but she was more than willing to follow through with things. One she is a Slave, but two and the most important she loves and cares about me.
So I have to think about her. What the outcome would be doing things she is not happy with. I have to think if I do this what is it going to do to her mentally .
Also just like my ex wife, after I opened up about my kink and my needs she had agreed to try something. The first was spanking. I could see immediately that she was getting nothing out of it. That being the case It was less of a turn on to me, and in the end it did nothing for me.
Before we act we need to think of the submissive or slave. Most will go along with pretty much anything if they think they are pleasing. It is the inner thoughts we never know about, or what effects it is having on them.
Then there is the other side. If the Dominant has been up front about everything and his needs are agreed on, then there is no guilt.
Most who are not who they say they are, and they prey on the submissive, generally have no feelings about the other nor is it ever a thought. These guys are getting what they want and nothing more.
As far as the poly thing goes I have talked to other Dominants about it. When I ask why do you need more than one slave, the only answer I get is I need more flavor. It is never how it could benefit the house or the other slave. So I wonder when the Dominant explains to the slave how they need more flavor. How does that make the slave feel ? How does it make the slave feel knowing their owner needs more than one to fill complete.
Let me explain something. Most poly relationships are not live in situations. Most live apart. Although there are some family’s that live together for the most that is not the case. So the Slave who does not live with the couple , seems to me they are just a piece of ass on the side. The Dominant usually has full control over the third. At times there is a third Then another reason is maybe the first slave is not into pain. So the Master seeks out to a Masochist, again they do not live together. These types of relationships are short lived, it does not take the third long to figure out they will always be on the other side of the fence.
The second scenario the three live together. They can either have separate bedrooms or all three can sleep together. Now why bring another into a relationship that is going good?
One reason would be to take some of the load off of the first slave. Be it task, shopping, cleaning, and I suppose to fill in for the other kinks the first one is not happy with doing. The two form a bond, almost to the point of being a sister. They become inseparable, and grow to depend on each other. This type of relationship can work, I have seen it work, I have made it work in the past. It takes a great deal of time, but it can happen.
The main two the Master and Slave have to talk about the up’s and downs and the what if’s . Then the Master needs to decide if a third is really needed.
The other thing that bothers me at times. It is really hard for a slave to make friends outside of the home. Arianna knows this first hand. Everyone she has met seemed okay in the beginning but in the end they turned out to be flakes. So I decided that I would step up to the plate and I would choose her friends. Well It turns out I didn’t know people as well as I thoughts I did. They were still flakes, full of problems, full of drama. So maybe one day Arianna will find that one she can truly call a friend.
When I had talked about a third that was really my reasoning behind the whole thing. The truth is Arianna is way to insecure for such an adventure . That is not her fault nor is it mine, it just is, and I am good with that.
So my way of thinking along with the above. I do consider myself an owner, even in today’s times to some that is kinda hard to grasp. My slave has giving herself willingly and without question. Our relationship is consensual in all aspects. I am the owner of living property. I am Master because that is what she chooses to call me.
I asked her recently if she would like to call me My Owner although she does say that sometimes , she said it made her feel distant. I do understand.
My way Of thinking being an owner of property. It gives me many rights. I have the right to use as I see fit. Although before entering the relationship we did negotiate on some things, more on her side, because I refused to budge on my needs. On the things she is against , I respect her stance on somethings. It is my responsibility to insure she remains in good health not only physically but mentally.
I told Arianna from the beginning. The word NO does not come out of her mouth. I also explained that I would use her and use on a regular basis. I am speaking of sex of course. Again that is my right as an owner of property.
Let me explain what gives me these rights. I from the start of the relationship have kept my word. I have done everything I said I would do and much much more. I have stepped up to the plate, every time, and will continue to do so. I have been completely honest, I have never lied to her. I have remained consistent. She does know my main focus is on her, she does know that no matter what I will be there for her.
My way of thinking. I lead she will follow without question.