Archive for the Stressed Category

Sub-Drop

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Beatings, Bipolar, blindfold, Bondage, cage, Cherish, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Depression, Dominants, Fear, Humiliation, masochist, Master, Masters, Mental illness, Pain, positive reinforcement, Praise, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, session, slave, Stressed, Sub Drop, submissive on July 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sub-drop is something that has to be dealt with right after a session, or rough play. I firmly believe that sub-drop can be prevented with the right care.  While some may disagree I am speaking from over 20 years of experience in the lifestyle. I am not some dude who got out of bed Friday and said I am a Dom on your knees bitch.

You spend a couple of hours in a session, playing rough, not making love but just raw, sweaty hard fucking. Last weekend Arianna and I spent about 3 hours in play from being bound in the cage, tied to the bed spread eagle, blindfolded not knowing what was going on, not a clue. I cannot even imagine that feeling. Being able to hear but you cannot see.

I love using sexually, it is like mini golf I want to play all three holes and then start over. Sometimes I don’t even want to cum because I don’t want to lose that feeling.

I love face fucking, to me face fucking making her gag is one of the most humiliating things a man can do to a woman. I love feeling the throat muscles wrap around my cock feeling that gagging sensation. WOW.

Sub-Drop there are a couple of different definitions. one being, Physical Sub Drop the other being Mental

Physical Sub-Drop during a hard play session where a lot of impact play is going on, your body see’s this as more of a trauma. So naturally the body goes into the defense mode, pulling most of the blood to the to the torso area to protect the organs, yes think about this for a second, your mind is one place, but your body is in another.  While you are enjoying the play your body is going what the fuck.

Then comes the Mental part of Sub-Drop Mental Sub-Drop is much harder to see, It varies in such a great degree from person to person but usually takes the forms of guilt, anxiety,depression, and or agitation. This can happen right after a session or it can take up to several days for Sub-Drop to kick in.

There are several things we have to look at before any type of hard play. Things should be talked about like types of medications they are taking, mind altering , for depression or any other mental illness. If someone is suffering from Bi-polar then you have to adjust your play and not push to far.  If the Dominant does not know the submissive inside out there are things that should be considered. It is up to the Dominant to look out for the Submissive, we are to insure their safety.

Normally after a session the submissive has a feeling of being relaxed, not caring, very much at home feeling, and very tired the submissive will be mentally drained. Let them rest take a nice hot bath, bath them talk to them.

Aftercare is very important, if you just spent an hour beating a submissive and you untie and just walk away then you are not a good Dominant, I use the word beating loosely by the way.

While it is true after a session some do want to be left alone for a while so their mind can process everything that just happened. During a session you should be in constant communication with the Submissive insuring they are in fact okay. Again you the Dominant are responsible for their safety.

Give them some time alone if they need, let them curl up in a ball and process everything, even take a nap.

After you should step in, hold and pet, talk to about everything that happened. Praise the Submissive for doing so well. Talk about any limits that were tested or pushed.

Even if there was no real impact play , and everything was mainly mental the impact on the body can still be devastating.

That is why I myself believe Aftercare should be Proactive, and not just used after play, more so if the submissive is a masochist.

Certain medications and hard impact play do not go well together. If your submissive suffers from any type of depression and is taking mind altering drugs then there must be communication. You as the Dominant may decide there is a better approach to playing or you may decide not to play at all. Again we are to look out for ours.

I am going to pass on a link that I think everyone should read and maybe it will explain a little more about your feelings after play.

http://subshelpingsubs.tripod.com/articles/subdrop.html

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Much Love

Vile

Abuse A Fine Line

Posted in abuse, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Beatings, masochist, relationships, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe Word, serve, session, sex, slave, Spanking, Stressed, submissive on June 22, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

When it comes to the world of BDSM , many women new to the lifestyle see pain as a huge part of the lifestyle. This is not true. The fact is many women will take most anything if they feel they are pleasing, and the regret comes a few hours later when everything sets in, the hurting, the dark bruises, the pain while in a session.

I remember the first time I left sherri’s I was scared to death. She was black and blue from the neck down, and some of the bruises were bleeding a little. I had used a belt, a 5 pound flogger, and a single tail whip. I remember seeing her pussy juices running down her leg, and with every strike of the single tail she would cum.

I was sitting in my car, thinking what the fuck have I done. This was my first real experience, with a masochist. I was thinking what if she called the cops, how could I possibly explain that. Well officer she wanted me to beat her, WOW.

My first slave, my first real pain slut, like Bea she was a cutter, it was a way to release pain, I did not really understand at that point and time, but I do now. I also know now that the pain that is needed can be controlled through an M’s relationship.

Many women will take what ever their dominant can dish out and then some. Having the need to please or just looking for acceptance, and the need for love.

Many Dominants will dish it out, and get off on it just as I did while in a relationship with sherri. This is where communication comes into play. The Dominant should and needs to be sure this is a need and not just a want when it comes to pleasing. I myself know that if my partner is not getting any pleasure out of what I am doing, then I am not going to get anything out of it.

Just like my Ex wife, she allowed me to spank her a couple of times, but she thought it was stupid, so it did nothing for me. I felt guilty doing things to her because I knew she was doing it just to please. After I came clean about who and what I was, then I was asked to move out.

To this day Arianna has the thought that I have the need for pain, which is not true. I do get a little rough at times, which is my right, but I would never hurt. Arianna is for my pleasure, at times I could give a fuck if she cums or not, then there are times when I am very pleasing.If I need something I am going to do it, without asking. I have told her several times go to the bed and spread, I get mine and go about my business.

Pain is not a need for me, when I was younger and just learning, I got off on it, but after a time it became more like a job, and I had lost what seemed to be fun, it was now work, because sherri was getting off on the pain and I really got nothing out of it.

So how does one feel Being Dominant and causing much pain, knowing the submissive does not enjoy it, but is doing just to please. Does it really make you feel like the bigger man, or does it make you feel like a complete asshole.

You talk the talk once at work or out with friends on how you beat some bitches ass, and you knew she was going to be sore for a month. It would be different if you the dickhead was on the receiving end.

Then again some women get off on abuse some have that need, even in vanilla relationships. I went to the store some time ago and I pulled in and a girl was sitting in her car maybe 20, 25, her eyes was black and her lip was swollen. When I walked in the store her BF or husband was trying to get beer on credit, but you know she did not leave him, she was still there through thick and thin, for better or worse.

I guess beating some bitches ass makes one feel like the bigger man. Even during a session abuse can take place and the slave or submissive is thinking this is what it is suppose to be like, so I need to learn to take more pain so I can please.

Although there are many different levels of BDSM, and the world of S & M that is only a small percentage of the lifestyle. Most is based on D’s and service, be it sexual or just being there.

You as the submissive has the right to say hey wait a fucking minute, what the fuck are you doing? Never think you do not have the right to question, it is your body.

 

Vile

The Perfect Slave

Posted in bdsm, Bond, Busy, Conversation, emotional, Emotions, Louisiana, Marriage, Master, oral sex, raspberry Chipotle sauce, Rules, sex, slave, Stressed, submissive, The perfect Slave on June 12, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Okay maybe just maybe I am one sided when it comes to Arianna, I myself believe she is the perfect slave. Very polite, well mannered, public or private, and most of all acts and speaks like a woman, but there are other things that stand out.

I am not just speaking of the oral skills or when she is on top, throwing sex aside, although I love to fuck, sex does not make the relationship go around.

You can truly tell when someone really cares about you. Like listening when your talking, really paying attention, just doing little things without being told to. Taking an interest in the things you like, and having the need to please.

Everyday the question comes up, is there anything I can do for you master. The need to please. A couple of months ago I made a comment about how I loved cigars and Jack Daniels. Arriving home after a very hot day at work I sit down, and to my amazement  there was a small bottle of jack and a very dark Arturo Fuente cigar and a small bottle of Jack, pure heaven.

A very dear friend of Arianna’s went to Louisiana a while back, do not quote me but there is a Tabasco sauce plant there I believe that is where her friend went, anyway she gave up a bottle of raspberry Chipotle sauce. Out of this fucking world, I put it on everything, eggs , burgers, hot dogs, everything. I suppose I will have to take a trip to Louisiana so I can pick up a case, I cannot find it here in Florida.

So this am Arianna is at work I have to be at work at noon, so I decided to make a couple of sandwiches, I open the fridge, and the chicken is sliced chicken with Chipotle flavor, I grab the cheese and the cheese is Chipotle as well.

I did not even have to ask, this is what I mean about caring, you can tell, again setting sex aside, it is the small things that add up to large things.

Every morning I wake, the coffee pot is ready, my cup sitting next to the pot with a spoon, and sugar, everything is prepared.

Now it works both ways, we as Dominants have to take care of ours, we take the extra mile if you will. There are some vanilla relationship with the same quality’s not many but there are some.

We are there when they need us, to talk, listen, through good times and bad times. We are there when times are hard, when they are emotional. The Slave or Submissive knows they have someone to turn to.

Arianna does not do well with praise, but I do on a daily basis, I make sure I mention the small things that are done. Everyday a list is made out that she has to complete, I do check by the way. I praise her positive reinforcement You cannot just take and take and make it one sided at times it has to go both ways.

We all seek perfection, in a D’s relationship a Slave will strive for perfection, and the worse punishment there is, is when the slave has done something wrong. I cannot imagine the feeling. I know if I make a mistake, or do something wrong I just shrug it off, and keep on walking. I am not an emotional man.

Even when stressed I do not show it. We have had a lot going on this past month, and I had a feeling things were not going to work out with somethings that had popped up, so I arrived home getting ready to take a shower, and I was broke out in hives, very bad, and I stayed broke out for almost two weeks. I did not even realize how stressed I was. I just stayed on what I thought was the correct path, and everything just fell into place.

That is what I try to tell people, if your doing something, do it by the book, if you try to take shortcuts it will fuck you up every time, then you blame someone else for your own blunder.

Arianna is the perfect partner, best friend, soon to be wife, and last but not least the perfect Slave. She gives 100% without question. She gives without being asked or told, she does truly listen, and most of all she cares.

I will be posting wedding pictures on my Face Book sometime next week, so those who are members of the BDSM Corner will be able to see.

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Much Love To All

Vile