A Slave is not dumb, a Slave is not weak, a Slave is just like any other with different needs and desires.
Looking back I am not as strict as I once was. I am not as harsh, nor am I any longer into the pain.
Before I met Arianna I had been asked several times to play by different Masochist, and I did give it some great thought but I had to pass. It was just not me any longer, I no longer had to desire or the need to inflict pain. There are times when my mind wonders about the relationship I had with Sherri, and I think man what the fuck were you thinking. How could you of done some of the things you did? At that point in my life what made me tick?
The willingness to give, maybe the pain in her eyes, and she never showed one tear. With the cracking of the single tail whip, the twelve pound flogger with BB’S on the end. Speculum’s in both holes at the same time, double fisting, forcing her to eat pussy, or blow some stranger, and things I do not wish to share at this time.
She was my first real slave my first and only true masochist, I gained great knowledge from her, but it was a relationship I knew would not last. Almost seven years and I never once fucked her, not sure why there was just something about her, I was not attracted to her in that way. She did suck a lot of cock though daily.
It took me a long time to realize that not every slave or submissive was a masochist, many thought I was abusive, which is far from the truth. Then I began meeting other Doms, and finely an awesome mentor. Then and only then did I learn the difference. The caring part I had to learn on my own.
As we grow older we have the need for more, we need something deeper, and real. The control is the main factor. I am not sure what makes me tick, but I spent way to much time trying to figure it out. I am me and I will never change.
Today while I am strict, I am also fair. I do not change rules to fit my needs. I try to talk through mistakes, because beating is not always the answer. Many are to quick about grabbing a belt or a whip, as a way to correct. Many times a good verbal scolding works much better
BDSM has many different levels that is why it is so easy to find the place we belong, any kink you can think of is out there, and chances are someone shares that same kink with you, but as in any relationship it has to be a give and take.
A slave has no rights, none. A slave gives everything in hopes they will not be abused or misguided. There is no second guessing, even if the owner is wrong. If we as Dominants make a mistake we have to fix it. I myself fix problems before they become problems. We Arianna and I have zero stress in our life. There is no drama between my ex-wife and I none. We even had her over for dinner last week.
You enter a relationship as Master and Slave. I will state I made no demands on what Arianna would call me. She asked if she could call me Master, at times she calls me her Owner
Over a period of a month maybe a little longer, I controlled every movement Arianna made. Bathroom, eating and what to eat, how to dress, walk, talk, what time to go to bed, what time to get up, and yes I controlled her money. I will say this, Arianna does contribute to the house, but I do not take her hard earned money, I stated that I controlled what she spent.
The training was not purely sexual, most of the training consisted of conversation, communication. Teaching her my way, my rules and yes my protocols.
It was exactly two months into our relationship, I invited a M’s couple out to dinner. This was Arianna’s first test, on protocol and etiquette. She passed with flying colors. My friends loved her. Shortly after that I invited an M’s couple over to the house and Arianna would be the host for the evening, again she passed, and the couple loved her, the slave really really loved her. Four months into our relationship we met a Domme for dinner it was her Birthday, again the Domme was very impressed with how Arianna carried herself. at that time we began to attend local events, munchs and MAST meetings. MAST Masters and Slaves Together, a great bunch of people, again Arianna was awesome, when someone did not understand what I was saying I allowed her to step in.
To fully control someone is a huge huge task, a task not many understand or wish to understand, nor is it a task that many want. With me it is a need, a deep craving. I do not even think of my wants, because all of my needs are met.
A short time ago I shared Ariannas rules with a few subs who followed me, the rules were not sexually based. Rules are meant to help. We as Dominants take ones bad habits and replace with good ones.
So think about this Arianna has no rights, no say, nor does she want. That is the key, she does not want, she is giving and she has the trust that I will not mislead or abuse the situation. If a problem arises and when I take care of it 95% of the time Arianna does not even have a clue. Everything is on a need to know basis. Now if I ran across something I needed advice about, she would be the first and only one I would turn to, but so far that has not happened.
Every day when I arrive home, I walk through the door, Arianna is nude and kneeling. I did not ask for this nor did I require. She does it because she has the need. I walk into the kitchen to sit, my cold drink is in place waiting, she takes off my hat, pen, name tag, then shoes. Dinner is promptly put on the table. Arianna does not begin to eat until I have taking the first bite. Once finished with dinner, shower time. When I finish Arianna drys me off, my night clothes are laid out on the bed. Time to relax. Before bed a huge glass of ice water is placed on the table beside me. Once in bed we talk more about our day, I want to know whats on her mind, this is her time to talk about anything and everything that’s on her mind, her free time to express herself.
Okay I get anything I want without question, be it in everyday life, sexual, play time. When it comes to sex there are no limits, I just do not push her farther than she can go. There is no arguing, of any kind, although I do know at times I do get on her nerves, I just get the eye role she does not think I see.
There are really very few true submissives or slaves, and fewer real dominants. Once into a relationship most find it is not their cup of tea.
There are those who are quick to judge, because they either do not understand, or they believe the slave is weak, which is far from the truth. We judge what we do not understand. You would not want anyone to judge you would you?
Most other relationships I do not understand more so when it comes to a D’s type of relationship, but I do not judge, if it works for you then so be it. While I do find Pony Play interesting, I do not understand the concept, or what someone would get out of such a lifestyle, but it works for them, I am still not going to judge unless your pony takes a huge dump in my living room floor.
I keep an open mind when it comes to others, our kinks are all different, our needs, it would be much better if we could just all get long.