Archive for the Sub Drop Category

What Type Of Submissive Are You.

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Structure, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive, Submissive Brat, Submissive kitten, The Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive's, What type of submissive are you on July 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

On 12/23/2012 , Wow time really flies when your having fun yes ?

I found a article on tumbler that caught my eye , although I may not agree with everything , I do agree with most. In our lifestyle it is really hard to pin point who and what we are , mainly because we are revolving on a regular basis , daily , weekly , monthly and so on.

I think it would be hard to give a full description of who and what you are when it comes to the lifestyle. One thing that is for sure is you are who you are and you need someone who is a perfect fit.

The post is called The Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive’s

Type one would be the Little Girl Submissive , please not this has nothing to do with incest or Pedophilia, it is a personality , but there are some who find this type of relationship offensive. I know in the past I have spoken to subs and slaves and when I just brought up the topic the conversation was over.

Second was the Tame me submissive which I find to be bogus  , this is a mindset a submissive will have after doing some reading or speaking with others who are submissive. The truth is not many Dominants will put up with such attitudes.

Type Three: The “SAM” Submissive – A “SAM” type submissive, also known as a Smart-Assed Masochist, is just that, a smart-talking submissive with a quick tongue. Again this type of attitude I believe is short lived , because there are not many Dominants who will put up with this type of attitude.

Type Four: The “Brat” – The “brat” is different from the tame me type and the SAM type in the fact that they are overly-aggressive, smart-mouthed and frequently rude, they have no intentions of submitting to anyone’s authority or discipline, except that of their partner. This fact, however, does not stop the brat from continuously harassing every dominant and most submissives with which she comes into contact. This type is very rare and again there are not many who will put up with such an attitude. These types of relationships are short lived…

Type Five: The “My Master is God” Submissive – Also known as they “I have a master and you don’t! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah” type of submissive. These submissives are of the opinion that their masters can do absolutely no wrong and that their master’s word is as good as law and that their masters know everything there is to know about everything. The “My Master is God” type of submissive frequently spends inordinate amounts of time talking about their masters..
Okay I cannot think of anything to add here…

Type Six: The “I am Slave, Hear Me Roar!” Submissive – These are absolute, prodigious, epitome of any submissive type. Don’t call the “I am Slave” type a submissive, though, they don’t like that very much. In these slaves’ opinions, there is no other submissive group that can possibly equal their level of commitment, sacrifice, talent, experience or will to submit.
Okay these are those who think their way is the only way….

Type Seven: The “True” Submissive – The “true” submissive is often the culmination of the desires of every dominant figure around this person. The “true” submissive is often shy, under spoken, docile, servile and absolutely willing to do anything asked of her. The true submissive is usually aware first of the wants, needs and expectations of the dominant figures around her and not concerned as much with her own wants, needs and expectations. The true submissive is frequently inexperienced, untaught and looking to be pleasing by being perceived as the ‘expected’ norm that a submissive should be.

I am going to edit this to the True Slave. Seven describes Arianna to a T, as a matter of fact when I first read this , It made me think of her.

So we all have labels , some have titles, some want a label but are unsure where they fall within the lifestyle.

Just as there are different types of submissive’s and Slaves there are different types of Dominants each has their own role in their life and the lifestyle, each has different responsibility’s and each has different levels of care. All Dominants are different , some are strict , while others are not. Some are more physical , others are not.

I was speaking with a Dominant not long ago and he told me he was a sensual Dominant , and I had to ask , what the fuck is a sensual Dominant ? His Ball Park his Game.

A submissive had said something about going into sub-space and her Top was not there for her. While I do somewhat feel bad , I had to explain he is a Top and not a Dominant , there is a huge , huge difference. A Top is Dominant in most cases during play or maybe not even dominant, but once the play is over and finished so is his role, hes done… There is no reason to be upset at the Top….

If your going to play outside of a relationship your head has to be in the right place. Playing I mean with someone you know and trust. The closer the connection the more likely your going to experience Sub-drop if your going home alone.

Dominants while I have heard of Dom drop I have never experienced it myself. I am not saying it cannot happen it has just never happened to me. In some ways I could understand how it could happen but in other ways I cannot.

While you may put a label on what type of personality you have , once your in a relationship and you are trained your Dominant or owner will define who and what you are.

A submissive contacted me who said she was a brat who is rebellious and was hard to handle , no when I add those two together it equals Bitch wanting your way…

People are to quick to judge when they do not understand something , or some may think their way is the only way, when in fact that is false.

prayer

Vile

My Take On Online BDSM Relationship

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Online Relationships, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, BDSM Session, Bipolar, Collar, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, counselor or Psychiatrists, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, endorphin's, http://szymonw44.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/myths-and-facts-about-online-ds-relationships/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Online Collar, Online Dominanrt, Protocol, Protocols, psychiatrist, relationships, Rules, session, slave, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive, submit with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I just read an excellent post from… http://szymonw44.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/myths-and-facts-about-online-ds-relationships/

While I understood much of it there were a few things that were not covered so I wanted to touch base on somethings.

I myself have never been in a online relationship , I have tried and it does nothing for me.
I am strictly hands on and I have never had the desire to have an M’s relationship via the internet.

I have never been a picture collector as well . I myself find it very degrading and most will send pictures just to please , okay that is off topic.

While I can see how one a submissive or slave could reach that endorphin release at that moment and time , I would think that Sub-Drop would begin right after the laptop is powered off.

While I do believe Sub-Drop can be controlled it would not be able to be controlled if you were 500 miles away.

Sub-Drop requires a great deal of emotional understanding , communication and being physical , I mean as far as holding.
Communication is huge right after play or having a session, because you the Dominant wants to pick their brain. How do you feel right now ? What are your thoughts right now ? What were your thoughts during play? How were you feeling ? It just goes on and on.
To be online and then having to power off until the next session, I would imagine it would be pretty lonely.

While I can see the high and the thrill of remaining anonymous while sitting at your keyboard , I can see the downs as well as some dangers.

Even for a new comer there are things that have to be considered. Someones health , how stable are they? Are they taking any medications? do they suffer any type of depression? Does their depression go deeper maybe bipolar. Maybe they hurt themselves when alone or depressed.

I do know of many who have met online and while some have turned out good most have failed.

I have also found many online Dominants are single , and there has to be a reason. Maybe online is a bit easier, there is not as much responsibility when having an online relationship, you do not have the communication needs online like you do in a physical relationship. Then there is a lack of commitment , not having to commit causes less stress.

If one relationship does not work out then I see the advantage of moving on to another and being able to rather quickly.

Being able to remain anonymous means you can be who you want, but so can the submissive, and unless you know their mental state someone could get hurt.
I do know someone will not open up about something so personal online and what happens with the laptop fires up could not have a good turn out.

I have never figured out how you can own someone and just be online. I have never figured out, when people speak of an online collar.

You never really have any control. The only control you have is the control your being told you have. You have no structure or stability with in the relationship. You cannot enforce rules on any level, you are having to go by what your being told.

I do know most online relationships turn sexual in a very short amount of time, and the Dominant is soon demanding pictures and videos. That I never understood since that is not what we are suppose to be about.

Although as Dominants we should never be rescuers , we are here to help. In many cases although we do not have a PHD we are at times a psychiatrist , we are a best friend , we give advice , we communicate , and we offer options based on our experience.

We provide the stability a sub or slave needs in their life, and in a sense we make everything alright. We take away the deep pain and the feeling of not being able to feel.

I have a saying I have used for many years. Come and Let me hold you so I can feel your pain , and today I believe that statement to be true you can feel someones hurt, you can feel someones needs but more so you can feel love.

Like Ive said I have never had an online relationship and I am 51 years old. Ive never wanted an online relationship, again because I am hands on…

While I do believe you can learn a lot online, a submissive or slave can never lern, what it is like to be in a physical relationship.

I found a lot of good from the post ……

http://szymonw44.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/myths-and-facts-about-online-ds-relationships/

I just wanted to add my side..

brad

Much Love Vile

New Toys For Arianna

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Anal Plug, anticipation, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Rules, blindfold, blow job, Bondage, butt plug, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, endorphin's, FaceBook Vile Woods, Flogger, Floggers, Fox Tail Butt Plug, fuck hole, Gagged, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Mind Fuck, music, punish, Punishment, Rules, Safe and Sane, session, slave, Sub Drop, sub-space, Submission, submissive, submit, sucking cock on August 31, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I love Sensory Depravation it can make the mind think of some crazy things. Under the right conditions you can also reach sub-space.

When people talk about sub-space many think there has to be pain involved , and that is so far from the truth it is not funny..

I was talking to someone the other day about planting a seed. Your planting a thought, the thought then becomes a need. This is a way to get something across without really having to say anything, and yes it works.

If that seed is planted you need pain to reach sub-space, guess what ? Then that will be the only way to achieve reaching that point.

In reality reaching sub-space is about getting into ones mind , once your able to do so, the fun is unlimited.

Many also confuse reaching an orgasm during play is part of sub-space, and that is far from the truth as well..

The pain side of things, the body knows when it is being hurt, and there are steps the body takes to protect itself. Once you start feeling pain, your body sends most of your blood to your abdominal area, causing you to get cold, and confusion sets in, and you believe your reaching sub-space. Even during impact play, blood is rushed to your stomach area… Impact play that includes breast, pussy, or ass, all the body knows its being hurt and it is trying to protect itself..

Sub-space is an art, sub-space is the ability to get into someone’s mind, be it erotic or causing confusion. It is how intense the play session is, and this can be done without pain.. The key is to get those endorphin’s flowing, once you have hit that process the sky is the limit.

You start by taking senses away, sight, hearing, are the two most valuable, then of course touch and smell, but you take sight away, and you bring in a little fear, the mind begins to wonder. Music is always good even being played a little loud, losing sight and not being able to comprehend what is going on around you, causes confusion.

I myself do not enjoy marking up my property, I do not enjoy leaving bruises, this is mainly because if something went wrong, and for some reason I had to explain what happened, yea just not good, because even when consensual, sometimes the law does not see it as being consensual.

A good thing to do is to get familiar with BDSM and the Law, I have blogged about this before. This is why I have mentioned it is very important to get active in the local community. You meet people Doctors, Lawyers, you meet people from every walk of life. It is good to know the right people just in case..

Okay I am sorta of bouncing around here today, so back to the toys. Here lately, Arianna’s needs have began to grow even more.

When I first met her I explained BDSM was like a drug, the more you experience the more you need. The more control you give, the more you want to continue giving..

It is a drug and it is a very powerful drug. The one thing you need to be sure of is your dealer is in full control.. Because if he is not you can get hurt and you can get hurt bad.

BDSM is a mind thing, getting in your head, not only getting in your head but having the ability to stay there, get inside move around, look around see what’s going on. Being able to figure you out, know what makes you think, and then being able to toy around a little.

This is achieved through trust, real trust, I mean trusting someone with your life, because if you are not there, sub-space will not be there.
Trust, would your Dominant take a bullet for you? Would you take a bullet for your Dominant? that is trust.

hood

The seed was planted, a couple of days ago Arianna brought up the subject about wanting a hood, but now it has become a need. You plant the seed and you leave it alone.

Arianna loves Butt Plugs but she wanted one with a tail, so I placed an order.
tail

This will surely bring out the submission on a higher level, being home, nude and being instructed to insert and wear.

The new Vibrator I picked out along with the hood and the fox tail, her old one is almost ready to retire. No woman should be without a Vibrator.

pink

I am also looking for a new flogger, but yea I am not paying 90 bucks for one so I will just keep shopping…

Okay I know I jumped around a lot I hope everyone is having an awesome weekend..

One more thing I am preparing more interviews. I have a Dominant who is married with children and he will explain how D’s works in his home.
Also the famous Cinnimon will be dropping in and helping me out with the Baby Girl thing, and helping us understand more. I wish more Baby girls would step forward but she is going to be awesome…

Much Love
vile

Aftercare And Being Proactive

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, Aftercare, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Breaking a Slave, communication, Consensual, control, Conversation, Depressed, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, erotic, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, No Inhibitions, Pain, Patience, pleasure, proactive aftercare, provocative, punish, relationships, Respect, Safe, session, slave, Spanking, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive on September 13, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Aftercare BDSM

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In the context of the sexual practice of BDSM, aftercare is the process of attending to one another after intense feelings of a physical or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities.

BDSM experiences can be exhausting; and drain the participants of mental, emotional or physical energy. As a result, one or all participants may require emotional support, comfort, reassurance, and/or physical tenderness. Along with this, he or she may experience everything from an exhilaration to traumatization. Aftercare also may include a review or “debriefing” of the activities from experiences of both the dominant and the submissive.

Some participants may wish to be left alone or have other means of processing the experience. While the desire to be left alone could stem from just needing rest, it could also result from no longer feeling safe in the current environment or situation.

Common aftercare practices may include hugging, kissing, hair-stroking, cuddling, words of praise or gratitude, or general affirmation of an emotional bond between partners. Occasionally, more “vanilla” sexual activities such as intercourse or oral sex following an intense scene may also be considered as part of aftercare.

It is often thought in a submission/dominant relationship, only the submissive requires aftercare following BDSM activities. However, a dominant may require less, just as much, or more aftercare depending on the scene, person, experience level, and other factors. The role of submissive or dominant is unrelated to the amount of aftercare someone needs and should not be thought of as a metric in this regard.

In long distance relationships, a potentially useful practice when engaged in remote BDSM activities is to facilitate aftercare by the exchange of emotionally significant items which can be clung to for reassurance, though success of this depends on both parties’ level of emotional investment in the relationship.

If you sat down and wrote a list about your needs while in a M’s or D’s relationship Aftercare should be the first at number one, not two or three or five or six, number one. Here in a few I will explain my proactive aftercare.

You start playing or maybe you call it a session, maybe your submissive or slave is into hard impact play. Maybe you the Dom enjoys getting rough, but the submissive is really not into the rough play but goes along with to please. If your anything like me my play time can last for an hour or more.

During this time the sub is giving all they have, physically , and mentally, as well as emotionally. We take what is giving and then more. We want satisfaction out of our play time. Sometimes we go as far as pushing limits, just to see how far we can take our property. If we have pushed or maxed a limit we the Dominant gains a high, a rush, the adrenaline starts to flow. I have gotten so excited I have had to take a break so I could gather my thoughts, catch my breath, and the submissive is just laying there waiting not knowing what is on the Dominants mind, or how much longer the session is going to go on for.

After play this is when the first of aftercare kicks in, communication should be the first, asking and digging for questions. We want to know where they are at right now, what their thoughts are, how they are feeling. Talk about any limits that were pushed.  This is very important, we need to know if we pushed to far, what if the submissive did not like something it should be talked about, maybe there is another avenue we can take to make that part of the session different.  Many will play and give even if they are getting nothing out of it, this is done just to please.

Now on the other side at times we ignore aftercare, let me explain. I have met those who are submissive and Slaves who wanted to be broken. I have been asked a couple of times, but I have declined both times. First of all I did not want that type of responsibility. I did not want to be responsible for bring them down and then bringing back up. I am not sure why someone would need such a thing, but we all have our needs, Breaking someone is just not my thing. Breaking a Slave takes time, I have seen it done and it is not pretty, nor did I take part. To each their own we all have different needs within the lifestyle, so I do not judge anyone for their actions. The breaking of a Slave should only be considered if the two are entering a long term relationship, and the Slave must be sure of this. If it is just short term the after effects could be devastating.

We should hold while in the aftercare mode, we should praise, speak very highly of. We should cover every part of the scene, being sure to not miss anything. Okay I am guilty of not going into the full aftercare mode at times, but when it does come to aftercare I am proactive.

Constant praise on a daily basis. Many spend way to much time waiting on theirs to break a rule, or make a mistake, so they can correct or punish. Many Doms get off on just punishing. Degrading, humiliation. More so the new ones who have entered the lifestyle. Reading books, or looking at pictures, many for what ever reason cannot get past the pictures.

After a session or play we need to ask questions, we want to know where there thoughts are. What did they like? What did they not like? Do they want to try something different? We should hold and caress, make the two feel as one.

Proactive aftercare constant praising , when something is done comment about it.  The idea is to build up, make one feel confident. We want to build up their self esteem if needed and in most cases it is needed. This is what I mean by being proactive.

If aftercare is not performed sub drop occurs and despite what most think I do believe sub drop can be prevented with the practice of aftercare. Sub drop occurs mostly when the two do not live together, and the submissive is left alone. Getting together while in a long distance relationship every now and then, sub drop will happen.

The proper aftercare is very important we being different aftercare will vary from submissive to submissive. Some after play want to be left alone for a period of time, giving them time to gather their thoughts and feelings, while some do not want any aftercare at all. I do believe sub drop can be prevented despite what others think.

You the submissive if you feel this area is being neglected speak up, you have this right to insure you are being taking care of, you have the right to express your needs.

I am telling you from experience, if aftercare is giving and the proper amount, what use to be limits will soon start to fade away, what use to be inhibitions will soon begin to fade away. The more we as Dominants care and we show we care the more the submissive will want to give.

Aftercare is a must.

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Vile

Sub-Drop

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Beatings, Bipolar, blindfold, Bondage, cage, Cherish, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Depression, Dominants, Fear, Humiliation, masochist, Master, Masters, Mental illness, Pain, positive reinforcement, Praise, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, session, slave, Stressed, Sub Drop, submissive on July 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sub-drop is something that has to be dealt with right after a session, or rough play. I firmly believe that sub-drop can be prevented with the right care.  While some may disagree I am speaking from over 20 years of experience in the lifestyle. I am not some dude who got out of bed Friday and said I am a Dom on your knees bitch.

You spend a couple of hours in a session, playing rough, not making love but just raw, sweaty hard fucking. Last weekend Arianna and I spent about 3 hours in play from being bound in the cage, tied to the bed spread eagle, blindfolded not knowing what was going on, not a clue. I cannot even imagine that feeling. Being able to hear but you cannot see.

I love using sexually, it is like mini golf I want to play all three holes and then start over. Sometimes I don’t even want to cum because I don’t want to lose that feeling.

I love face fucking, to me face fucking making her gag is one of the most humiliating things a man can do to a woman. I love feeling the throat muscles wrap around my cock feeling that gagging sensation. WOW.

Sub-Drop there are a couple of different definitions. one being, Physical Sub Drop the other being Mental

Physical Sub-Drop during a hard play session where a lot of impact play is going on, your body see’s this as more of a trauma. So naturally the body goes into the defense mode, pulling most of the blood to the to the torso area to protect the organs, yes think about this for a second, your mind is one place, but your body is in another.  While you are enjoying the play your body is going what the fuck.

Then comes the Mental part of Sub-Drop Mental Sub-Drop is much harder to see, It varies in such a great degree from person to person but usually takes the forms of guilt, anxiety,depression, and or agitation. This can happen right after a session or it can take up to several days for Sub-Drop to kick in.

There are several things we have to look at before any type of hard play. Things should be talked about like types of medications they are taking, mind altering , for depression or any other mental illness. If someone is suffering from Bi-polar then you have to adjust your play and not push to far.  If the Dominant does not know the submissive inside out there are things that should be considered. It is up to the Dominant to look out for the Submissive, we are to insure their safety.

Normally after a session the submissive has a feeling of being relaxed, not caring, very much at home feeling, and very tired the submissive will be mentally drained. Let them rest take a nice hot bath, bath them talk to them.

Aftercare is very important, if you just spent an hour beating a submissive and you untie and just walk away then you are not a good Dominant, I use the word beating loosely by the way.

While it is true after a session some do want to be left alone for a while so their mind can process everything that just happened. During a session you should be in constant communication with the Submissive insuring they are in fact okay. Again you the Dominant are responsible for their safety.

Give them some time alone if they need, let them curl up in a ball and process everything, even take a nap.

After you should step in, hold and pet, talk to about everything that happened. Praise the Submissive for doing so well. Talk about any limits that were tested or pushed.

Even if there was no real impact play , and everything was mainly mental the impact on the body can still be devastating.

That is why I myself believe Aftercare should be Proactive, and not just used after play, more so if the submissive is a masochist.

Certain medications and hard impact play do not go well together. If your submissive suffers from any type of depression and is taking mind altering drugs then there must be communication. You as the Dominant may decide there is a better approach to playing or you may decide not to play at all. Again we are to look out for ours.

I am going to pass on a link that I think everyone should read and maybe it will explain a little more about your feelings after play.

http://subshelpingsubs.tripod.com/articles/subdrop.html

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Much Love

Vile

Proactive Aftercare

Posted in Aftercare, bdsm, Bond, control, Conversation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, ethics, Health, Love, Master, needy, Patience, proactive aftercare, problems, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, session, sex, slave, Sub Drop, sub-space, submissive, TPE, Trust on February 10, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who are submissive are very needy, I believe slaves are more needy on many different levels. Being proactive in a 24/7 live in relationship is really important. I do believe it takes a lot more interaction and communication than a vanilla relationship. I know I keep bringing this up but if I am really anal about something, I feel the need.

When most say aftercare, the term is used mainly after play, be it just intense bondage, hard spanking, humiliation, you get the picture, but the fact is aftercare should be an on going process play or no play.

The needy is much different than a regular relationship. While I do not still understand how the neediness factors in with subs and slaves, if you are in a D’s relationship it is more noticeable.

I like the word Proactive, the after care is on going, never ending, and along with such care comes a great deal of responsibility. I cannot speak enough on being consistent, that is something that took me many years to master, listening also plays a huge factor , along with much needed communication.

I have said a hundred times that sub-drop can be prevented, and I truly believe this. Sub-drop does accrue mainly while in a long distance relationship, or when two are not 24/7. It is not to say even if you are 24/7 that it cannot happen, but if you are paying your sub or slave the attention they need, the chances of sub-drop are indeed very slim.

Sub-drop the opposite of sub-space can last anywhere from Ten minutes to a couple of days or more. Again the drop happens mostly when two are not 24/7.

This is a Time when the Dominant should step up to the plate and be who he is, and nothing less. If you are not 24/7 you really have a lot on your hands, and may end up spending hours on the phone, until they have calmed down. Sub-space can be just as bad as a drop, and the same attention should be giving.

At times after real intense play a submissive or slave may want to be left alone for a short time, so they are able to gather their thoughts, and figure out their surroundings, before talking or being held.

After care is looked over way to often, as many dominants really do not see the need, some believe, some do not.

The bottom line is, if you take care of your property, and run a well managed care program, the relationship will be unlike any other.

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Vile

To Shun Or Not To Shun

Posted in abuse, bdsm, communication, control, controlling, Discipline, Dominants, Drama, extreme, Health, Married Dominant, Master, sharing, Shun, Sub Drop on November 11, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I see topics from other blogs that tend to catch my eye, and some I find very interesting. Some I agree with, some I do not.

I have stated before you will never hear me speak badly of another Dominant. We all train different, we all have different expectations, we all have different goals, and needs.

I can tell you this. The lifestyle is about positive reinforcement. This is at least 85% of the relationship. then communication, and last but not least the kinky, you break the rest down, I hate fucking math.

In the lifestyle more so in the last 10 years or so, Sub-Drop has become an epidemic like a bad virus going around, yea I am going to blame it on the pansexual explosion , I have to blame somebody right?

Despite what most of you Dominants or subs think, Sub-Drop is preventable, I do not care if you believe me or not. If you stop and think when you do experience Sub-Drop you will see that I am correct as a matter of fact I am seldom wrong. Cocky Huh ?

Sub-Drop this happens when two are in a long distance relationship, I have seen this all to many times. I have been asked. Why am I feeling this way? Okay the Basic’s Subs and Slaves alike are needy, very needy. This is not a bad thing, go ahead and say I am not needy. Well your lying , that is the bottom line. In a long distance relationship there is noway your needs can be met. If you are seeing a Married Dom, you cannot tell me your needs are being met. The bottom line is, you are number two and will always will be. There are exceptions there are some who are happy with this arrangement, my hat goes off to you. If it does work for you, go for it, I am not here to judge anyone.

The Dominants drama, with the Ex, WTF in the last year this is a growing epidemic. A Dominant wants to control a sub, but his ex is controlling him, has him by the balls, and at the drop of a pin he will jump.Again if this is the life you want go for it.

No Aftercare, aftercare is just not needed after play, aftercare is an on going process, continuous aftercare more so after play will prevent sub-drop, on all levels. While it is true that after a hard session some just want to be left alone for a while, once the submissive has gathered her thoughts then you proceed with aftercare.

Discipline some need on a daily basis to keep in check, some need that attention, some crave that attention, if not giving again sub-drop.

When we as Dominants are going to punish for what ever reason, we have to make it clear, very clear, as to why we feel the need to punish. If we do not talk to, and give a complete understanding, yes again sub-drop.

Shunning is one of the most effective ways to punish a submissive. It kills her not only to know she has done something wrong, but to ignore, is a very heavy medicine. So before we do this, which I never have, we need to make it clear as to why we are doing so, and for how long.

We as Dominants want the responsibility, then we want all the kink as well. We want it yesterday. So there is a fine line we have to walk. We set the example, we lead, we chose this path, so we have to not only be Dominants, fair Dominants, but grown men as well. We are looked up to. We are looked to for guidance.

Some of the shit I read just fucking irks me to know end, but Vile keeps his mouth shut.

I will say this, if you the submissive chooses one or more of the paths I described above. Live with it. You made the decision, you went into the relationship with an open mind or at least I would think you would have. Or you did not ask the right questions from the start, or your scared to question your Dominant when that is your right. If you feel any of the above, it is your right to question, you have the right to make demands. You are not a doormat…… There is not one reason, when in a long distance relationship, why a Dominant cannot stay in daily contact, we are talking a five min phone call, a text, an email. Five minutes of their time.

One more thing this is true in most cases, if you are seeing a married Dominant, please do not think for one minute you are the only one on the side, because you are not. Okay I just pissed a lot of people off, why because I speak the truth.

There are some cases where both are married, it may work for both, it does not work for me. I could not carry that kind of guilt on my shoulders. Some are happy with that type of arrangement. Again my hat goes off to you. I can tell you this, if your time with your married Dom has dropped, for no reason, guess what you just moved to number three. You can agree or you can disagree.

ImageSo you choose to walk the stairs alone, or hand in hand.

Vile