Archive for the Submissive Category

The Novice Dominant

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Slave training, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominant in Training, Novice Dominant, oral sex, sex, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock with tags , , , , on February 16, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

You watched Fifty Shades and when you woke up the next morning you were ready to dominate the world.  You want a slave to serve you but most of all you are thinking only about sex. Your mind is racing about the thought of endless pussy.

You join all the kinky websites such as fetlife , you create a profile with nothing written and post a Dick pic of yourself. This is because you think your dick will draw women to you but in reality you are clueless.

You begin to send out random messages like Hey whats up? A few days go by and your mail box is empty and you cannot figure out why. You end up liking hundreds of pictures and you are following hundreds but your mail box is empty. You post in a few groups and get blasted for running of at your mouth. This is because you wrote a check with your battle ship mouth that your tugboat ass could not cash. You are angry at people because after all fetlife is a kinky site right?

If you by chance start a conversation with a experienced dominant you brush off most of what he says and you continue down the same road because your mind is driven by kinky sex and pussy.

Even before fifty shades you dated some but for the most you remained single. Probably the life of the party but in reality you do not have very many true friends. Your opinion of women is very low and have used through out your years and at times even abusive.

You are the predator , you are the danger and when and if you do get a chance to hook up with a novice submissive you expect sex and you take it. This does not make the moment consensual it makes it rape. You get angry when you message and there is no reply and still you do not understand the damage you have done.

Even if you are the harmless dominant or want to be dominant you still do not listen because pussy is running your life and you think that the women you contact are only interested in sex.

There are some who want to be dominant , there are some who want a slave but your just not cut out for the lifestyle and yet you will blame everyone else. You refuse to take a few minutes and look at yourself in the mirror to see the real you.

These habits are probably stemming from your childhood , either a single parent , or from abusive parents. Maybe or maybe not towards you, you could of just witnessed the abuse. Either way instead of getting help you continue tyo walk the destructive path.

Then we have the married vanilla who watched fifty shades or maybe not but you are stuck in a dull sexless marriage. Sex maybe if you are lucky once a month or less, and you are sex driving. When you do have sex your wife feels like it is a chore and while you are fucking her she acts like you are the king of the world. You crawl off in about 3 or 4 minutes and it is back to the same o same o.  You want to fuck your wife in the ass so bad but nope she will not go there, or you want her to suck your dick and nope she will not go there, but you knew this before you married.

The dominant who are new experience something a new submissive or slave does and it is called sub frenzy. Their mind is traveling a hundred miles an and will listen to no one when asking for advice. The subs end up getting hurt in some form be it physical or mental. The new dominant ends up in short lived relationships trying to figure out what the fuck happened. The new dominant is focused on two things and two things only and that would be pussy and kinky sex.

Growing up there was one thing on my mind and that was pussy. While in school I was known for being kinky and sadistic so my options were mainly open to one girl. As I grew older I knew something was wrong but could not pin point it and it was not until my late 40’s did I realize I had it all wrong.

The novice dominant is much like the novice submissive, there is one speed and that is wide open. There is no advice that will work and will continue asking for advice until they get the answer they want.

I was speaking with someone the other day about sex, and I explained it is my belief many who are new to the lifestyle or maybe not but many of the subs out there have sex because of pressure. The submissive believes it is what is expected. There could be some fear as well, the fear of losing out on a relationship. Most of you know what happens when you tell a male no to sex right? Then the begging comes in, the excuse on how the two will be bonded, how it will make the relationship stronger.  Then once you spread your legs it is game over you are had.

The dawn of the new dominant ages ranging from 18 to about 38 or so and at times older. The definition of BDSM has changed a great deal, the lack of respect, the lack of responsibility, the lack of seeking a true relationship and the list goes on and on. Then you meet a dom and ten minutes into the conversation he pulls out a collar from the local pet store and wants to own you, well for the next week or so.

You can find me on Fetlife

I_Vile_Own_Her

Vile

 

 

 

Training A Slave To Fit Your Needs

Posted in Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, Collars, communication, Consistency, Dominant and Submissive, eternity collar, fetlife, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, owning a slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , on February 4, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

You have to have great appreciation for your slave ,in a way you have to love and cherish probably more than your slave will love you. The slave in today’s world probably works a full time job , then comes home and another job begins. However the work at home is more than likely more intense once home than at work.

Depending on the master there is a breaking process, some are extreme while some not so much but you have to be able to bring out the humble that is within the slave. My philosophy is if you break it you gotta fix it.

I have mentioned in other post the importance of getting to know the slave, the importance of knowing the slave better than family and friends and better than the slave knows themselves.

Knowing who you are , how much control you want, how much responsibility  you want, and how much care. Are you strict ? Are you easy going? Are you looking to take full control of someones life? Are you more service orientated, into humiliation, pain?

While sex is not my main driver in a M’s relationship  it does play a part and sex has to be compatible. Both have to be on the same page and both have to talk about sexual needs before entering a relationship.

If you are going to put rules and protocols in place you need to follow through on a daily basis. If you are going to take full ownership there is no what I call downtime , while I do allow my slave to have days just so she can unwind , relax and clear her head, my days are much different. I have no what I call true friends , I do have friends but no one I can really confide in , maybe sit down for a couple of beers or have a in dept  conversation about training. One of the subjects I have been studying for sometime is hypnosis but this is only a me thing. I have practiced on my slave and have been successful there is really no one to talk to. In the community I know a great deal many people but talking to someone and having to worry about something getting out is not something I want to deal with. I actually spend more time speaking with what I do call friends who live overseas , yea I know weird but it works.

I was really young when my kink first came to light , maybe 13 or 14 with a girl my same age. I spoke about her probably seven years ago and I am going to correct what I called her. I called her the school whore but the word whore was really pretty bad so I am going to replace it with the word slut. Just because someone is a slut is not a bad thing , it just means they have a huge sex drive, maybe slut is a word that does not fit but anyway.

Beverley was the first girl I tied up , spanked fucked and face fucked, yea she talked so I did not date very much while in school but she was a regular hookup for several years. The more we saw each other the more extreme we were even to the point of fisting, and wow the first time my hand vanished deep inside her pussy wow! I remember once my hand was fully inside and opening it and feeling all around inside her pussy , it was just amazing.

So while I was kinky and I wanted to be in control , I had no idea what I was doing. At that time is was hunt , fuck and move on.

To the slave, why do you want to be a slave ? What was it that drew you to this lifestyle? Something you read , maybe talking to someone, a movie? What type a slave are you ? Are you more about service? Are you a slave but a masochist ? This is something you have to figure out to insure you find the right match because not one master is the same.

Questions that are seldom asked of the slave is about health , be it physical or the most important mental. Medications the slave is on and why they are on them and what they are for. You as a master are responsible for doing research and it should give you a greater understanding on just how far you can go when it comes to play and that being physical and mental to include pain. If you break it you may not be ale to fix it and you could find yourself answering questions to law enforcement.

As a slave you have to have a need not a want because if it is just a want then while you are training there will be some internal fighting and will case you to resist to a point or you may find you are objecting to most.

Being mentally prepared having your mind right knowing you are about to step off a cliff and expect someone you trust to catch you.

The master must know the slave , the master must know the slave better than the slave knows themselves. You have to know the slaves limitations and something many look over are medications. What type of medications is the slave taking? Does the slave suffer from any type of depression? If so then this may alter your training program some. Remember if you break it you have to fix it and depression may not be something you can fix. I have found over the years those who do suffer from some type of depression are much better suited to be a service slave. Working with a masochist is this a area you have experience in?  The truth not many who are masochist are slaves just as not many who are sadist are actual master. Their pleasure comes from inflicting pain and humiliation.

Training a slave is really not as difficult as many think but it does take a lot of work and going into a relationship you really have to have a game plan. Some ask me about rules when they first meet a slave and my answer is you cannot give out rules until you know the slave. Rules are for the betterment of the slave and this does not include not being allowed to wear panties. I have found over the years that protocols can actually take the place of many rules although some see both as the same.

The one thing many look over is negotiating the relationship and if you do not it can cause a lot of confusion and trouble because you just cannot make shit up as you go.

I have standards when it comes to upkeep. I dress nice when out but I expect my slave to look 100 times better at all times. It is the masters responsibility on how the slave presents their selves when out. A slave is a direct reflection of the master and the masters training.

I had a list, a list of my needs when it comes to ownership and if the answer was no to anything on my list the conversation was over. The slaves needs are different, you have clothing, food, and a place to sleep anything else is a privilege and privileges can be earned or taken away.

Negotiations should include how much control the master wants to take, how much freedom to take and give. Sex is on your terms and your terms only after all it is about you the master. The slave must agree to your terms and speak the word I agree out loud not just by nodding. If you like anal sex and the slave does not and is not willing to compromise then the slave is not for you. If the slave does not swallow and it is a requirement for you , then the slave is not the right one for you. Do not give in to any of your needs.

The slave will come back with a list of needs besides the three basic. You the master must agree, if you say no and the slave does not agree then the slave is not the right one for you.

The slave has rights , the slave has the right to be able to communicate openly 24/7 to include waking you at night. The slave has the right to communicate freely without being judged and you the master must listen. This includes during your busy day, if the slaves sends a text you are to respond it only takes a few seconds.

A part time master cannot expect full time submission.

Ok you are taking a human and you are changing their train of thought, you are changing their habits, you are changing their needs. Needs in my eyes are four simple things. Food, water , clothing and a place to live. These are absolute needs

Training is about being consistent hourly, daily, weekly and monthly and so on. Once you begin the training there must be no interruptions. My thoughts on LDR these are extremely  hard because if you cannot reach out and touching someone you really do not have any control over someone, you have the control you are being told you have and nothing more..

You have a vision on how you see your daily life , you envision your home, you are the master , living with your slave. One thing, if you are looking for a slave then look for a slave. Your search should not include a submissive or a baby girl, a brat nor a switch. You are looking for a slave and nothing less.

One of the first words out of your mouth should be privilege. Everything you allow the slave to do or have is a privilege and privileges can be taken away at anytime. This is one area of the relationship the slave has control, privileges are in the slaves court and the slave controls the outcome.

You as the master having a clear game plan and knowing what your expectations are is a must. You can not just go in winging it or playing by ear. Once you start training it is really hard to make changes and this is mainly because you have already set the pace.

Strip, standing right there and strip as she walked through the door. Hand me you cell , your purse. In today’s the cell has become a part of life so allowing the slave to check a couple of times a day is important , maybe family friends, emails and so on but limited time.

You may sit here and here but not here or here. You are not allowed at anytime to sit on my furniture , you do not have that right. See what I did there? I have taking what once was normal freedoms and taken them away. Everything in a slaves life is a privilege and privileges  can be taken away at anytime.

Dinner time you may sit on the floor next to me , you do not have the right to sit on a chair, you are the slave remember? You will not begin to eat before I take my first bite,then and only then may you begin to eat and after the first bite you will thank me.

When you sit you will sit with both legs closed and hands placed on your lap, you will never cross your legs , you are not permitted to do so. When you stand and you are speaking or not your hands will be clasped in the front hanging in front of you.

You will ask permission to sit on my floor , you will ask permission to stand , to go to the bathroom , to get a drink or water , to shower and to enter the bed.

Here is the key as masters we can only make a informed decision based on the information given to us, if you do not communicate your feelings I cannot read your mind. If you ask a slave a direct question you expect a direct answer, if something goes wrong and the slave did not communicate the problem is clearly the slaves fault.

I have three main protocols in place while out. Protocol one, the slave may speak freely, two the slave may speak when spoken to and three speaking is not permitted.

My slave does not wear clothes while at home, she is not permitted  and does not have that right. If requested such as cooking or taking the dogs out I allow.

In the beginning of your relationship after you have agreed to enter one,  Use your slave this is your right. Guide the slave to the bedroom place them on the edge of the bed and tell them to spread. You fuck , bust a nut and walk away after you have finished. You and use often many times without saying a word. I have my slave trained I just tap on the back of the head and she knows it is time to suck dick, if I tap twice she knows to go all the way down and hold it until I grab a hand full of hair and pull her up.  If I want pussy I take pussy if I want the ass I take the ass but I do without giving any indication until I start.

All of the above is done in repetition , hourly, daily , weekly and so on.  You must remain consistent and what you have done over the past 90 days or so is changing the slaves mindset and taking old habits and replacing with habits you want in place. Just because a slave makes a mistake but not mean the slave should be punished after all the slave is human and even masters makes mistakes.  Punishments do not always include physical punishment. There is a mindset that if a slave breaks a rule which seldom happens then we must beat them.

The Collar is very sacred to me and I hold it above a wedding ring. The collar shows ownership , you own your slave , you own property. While negotiating find out what kind of collar would be suitable for everyday wear.

Myself I use a Turian collar  which for the most is Gorean and it locks with a allen screw. I am the only one with the wrench to remove it. Arianna has worn it for almost 7 years and it has never been off her neck. She wears to work and is out in public and in 7 years has been asked about it 3 or 4 times. She simply replies it is like a wedding ring and nothing else is said.

A collar is earned not giving , if it is just giving there is no appreciation

I do not believe in under consideration collars or training collars. I did make a leather one I put on Arianna when we went to events so others would know she was taking. Many today run down to the local pet store and purchase a dog collar and give it with no meaning. Most wear the collar as a trophy or to be able to stand out , maybe play.

Leave sex off the table until you get to know the slave, as a matter of fact let the slave bring the topic up when it comes to sex, kink and bondage as well as fetishes.

Shut up and listen

Start with a blank canvas and build what you need.

Fetlife you can find me

I_Vile_Own_Her

 

Vile

 

 

 

Men’s Number One Weakness

Posted in bdsm, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, pussy, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 27, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

Men’s number one weakness , would that be stupidity ? We are men we do stupid stuff , we cannot help it because it is in our DNA , but there has to be a stopping point. I know some men who would crawl naked through a mile of crushed glass to hear Brittany   Spears fart through a walkie talkie.  This is the truth, it is not about the relationship , building a relationship , or looking for something long term. It is about the Pussy and nothing more.

Lets take BDSM , this relationship is one of the fastest relationships you can enter and why is that? One of the first questions a Dominant will ask a slave is are you Bi and for many if not Bi that is a deal breaker or if not then the subject is brought up at a later date and often forced. What is the shortest skirt you own ? I am not sure why but this seems to matter. Do you go out in public with no bra or panties ? Again I am not sure what this has to do with building a relationship.  Do you enjoy anal sex oh and there is do you swallow ? Do not get me wrong compatibility is what helps make a relationship go round and round but this is within the first 30 minutes of just meeting and most of the time it is on line.

Now from my prospective , how I did and do things , please do not get me wrong because at one time I was like the ass above but in my defense I was in my late 20’s. Once I hit my 30’s those questions became obsolete and really did not seem to matter.

Anyone who ask me for advice on meeting a new slave my advice is sit down shut the fuck up and listen. Let the slave talk about anything and everything, just let them ramble and while their mouth is moving you are listening to every word and processing the information you are being giving.  What you are doing or what you want to do is get in their head and in order to do this you have to know, what their habits are, how they think and why they think the way they do. You want to know about their favorite music, food, movies , games , vacations and family and friends. If you know none of the above you cannot begin training or effective training and you just bullshit your way through it.

Leave sex off the table because if you just start out fucking that will be what consumes your whole relationship and it will end as fast as it started. Look those who are subs and slaves are use to being used , many believe sex is what is expected. Ok now don’t get me wrong because I love sex , I love getting head, head is my favorite pass time and although I average about 2 hours a week of just getting blown I would like to increase that by another hour or so. So I love to fuck but sex is on my terms when and how I want it, I do not ask and I am not much into foreplay ehh maybe sometimes but for the most I crawl on top bust a nut and get the fuck off. My foreplay is when Arianna is sleeping and she uncovers and I am looking at her , this is also when I take my best pictures but anyway I start with her tits and spend a hour or so just fingering before I need to sleep then I am on top, I do not say a word she just spreads.

I hear guys talking oh man when I am with a sub I love to make her cum as much as I can , I was with a sub sometime ago and I made her cum 30 times in 15 minutes .  Image result for stare emoji

Yea man I am sure you did and most if any was to support your inflated ego. See the problem is you still have pussy on your mind. Pussy has control over your what litte brain you do have and the bitch will use sex against you. Then sex is on their terms and not yours because you are a begging little bitch.

To train someone you have to know someone , if you do not know you cannot train. The submission is earned through trust and the willingness to protect and guide. The slave should look at you as their best friend , the one they can confide in without judgement. The slave should have 24 hour access to you and nothing less.

A part time Dominant cannot expect full time submission, but those who are not true the front only last a month or two before it becomes to much work and it falls into a mostly vanilla relationship except for the barking orders when the dom feels like they want something.

You just cannot sit around barking orders and expect the slave to feel appreciated , or even the feeling of being wanted.

Training a slave , and think about this, you are changing someone way of thinking and changing habits to fit your needs. This can only be done if you truly know they slave , this can only be done with effort on your part.

I explain to up and coming masters you have to be able to get inside ones head, you have to truly understand them. You have to know how they think and why they think the way they do. The truth is not one has ever asked me how to do just that, I always get the answer yes.

Men do not understand just how weak they look when most would crawl through a mile of broken glass just to get some pussy, but and there is a but. Men talk and men brag about how they nailed a bitch , how they treated her like a whore, yea this is true just like women talk, eh probably not as out spoken as men are.

I really think this shit started with Adam and Eve.

 

You can reach me on Fetlife

 

I_Vile_Own_Her

 

Vile

 

 

She is your Bitch why not man up ?

Posted in 50 Shades Of Grey, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, cheating husbands, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, Dominants, fetlife, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Safe and Sane, Same sex marriage, Slave, Submission, Submissive on November 13, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

I had a friend who recently passed a very young age 49 years old. I had known him for several years and he had a habit of picking up a 20.00 hooker every week to suck his dick.  Now he did this because his wife refused to go down south and take care of business. She never knew what was going on until one day while over at his place him and I were talking in the kitchen and she had come home and decided to listen in on our conversation.  So I asked why do you pick up a 20.00 dollar crack whore to suck your dick when you have someone here to blow you. I mean really how fucking nasty is that a bitch who has not showered in day?

Oh then here she comes screaming at the top of her cock sucker yelling at me , yea me. Why are you yelling at me ? Your husband is the one picking up hookers because you wont blow him.

Most men are afraid to bring up any type of sexual needs when they first meet a female. This is the beginning of the end of the relationship and often the female will not bring up her sexual needs as well. These actions spell disaster and neither know it.

Back in the 90’s for a short time I went through a phase and I started dating older married women but there was a catch. There was no intercourse , while there was no fucking I did get my dick sucked a lot . The reason these women were reaching out is because they had approached their husbands about their kinky needs and many thought their wife was sick and even brought up counseling.

Now this is something I have never understood , you have a woman who is willing to do anything sexually with no questions and the husbands call them sick.

One woman I was seeing was the CEO of a large telecommunications company and her husband would only fuck her doggy style because he could not stand the look on her face while having sex. To make things worse sex was planned and put on his calendar and it was subject to change.

If you are dating someone and you are afraid to bring up your sexual needs in fear of losing a partner then they are not your match. Many men will cave in the hopes of just getting pussy. and many women cave for the security , yea a big difference there.

So women for the most are just looking for a few things , companionship , communication , which most men fail at and security. Women tend to blindly trust while the man who is cheating becomes possessive and often starts accusing the female of cheating when in fact it is the male who is cheating.

At one time I thought I could be poly and my slave and I had even tried a triad. The triad was successful for 3 years , everyone got along and I can point out one thing ,there was never any arguing. The problem was and still today my slave is very possessive but I knew that from the start. My reason for the triad was not sexual but more so for my slave and again nothing to do with sex but to be with someone who understood her. Today the three of us are still very good friends and will always be.

Okay so where am I going with this ? You find someone who meets your needs , friendship wise , communication  , having fun hanging together and then comes sex. While sex should never be at the top of the list it is still there. So I searched and found someone who could meet all of my needs. I was upfront from the start , I wanted sex on demand. I love having my dick sucked , many times at night while she is sleeping I will crawl on top bust a nut and get off and go back to sleep. I love anal sex to me it is the most private part and total submission again this is just how I feel.

My slave agreed to my terms , one thing I would like to point out is we entered our relationship as master and slave and we both negotiated our needs , well her needs but my needs and wants and in the end we both agreed.

In past relationships while I remained loyal I always looked and just had thoughts of what if. Today that is different because I have the full package and I know I have the best.

Today men cave like Christian Grey did in 50 shades when the two were negotiating their contract , he caved into almost every need and this is why most men cheat.

You can love someone and still think of her as your bitch , your slut , whore what ever you can think of but if you are not compatible you are a loser and you cant blame your partner because you were weak and remained silent. You might as well tattoo the word PUSSY on your forehead so everyone can see the real you. Then your work days become longer and you disappear on your days off because you are now cheating. Your cheating because you found someone who will take it up the ass because your wife will not but you knew this from the start. This makes you pathetic ,  this makes you a loser and you will get caught. If you have children what type of example are you setting for your children but many could careless and I have seen this happen.

When you meet not on the first date maybe not the second but sit down and have a heart to heart talk.

My ex wife told me onetime she was to tired to have sex. What the fuck are you talking about ? All you have to do is fucking lay there , I bust a nut and it is done.

Anyway peace out..

Vile

Total Slavery

Posted in abuse, adapting, Anger Issues, bdsm, Behaviior Modification, Behavior Modification, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, Dominant, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, owning a slave, Safe and Sane, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking dick, Total Slavery, Total Submission, Uncategorized on November 12, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

As a young Dominant we dreamed of owning a slave , keeping them in a cage , feeding and using when ever we wanted. Although most never reached that dream for those who did I am sure reality kicked in finding it was not possible after all. Most young slaves just entering the lifestyle had this fantasy but once reality hit it turned into a nightmare .

Being able to maintain the strictness of what you dreamed at one time would be extremely difficult , this is due to time , life and working. Today it is almost impossible to have a one income home unless you are a billionaire but if you lived in a trailer you would be a creep. Then you have medical you have to worry about after all you agreed to take care of your slave right?

Love is a motherfucker and if not careful it can cause misjudgement and gilt will hit you. Once this happens you start to lose control. Once you have lost control there is no turning back. It is almost like a car out of control during a heavy rain.

The general public for the most looks down on our way of life , many see it as abuse and again  if you google BDSM you see porn , you see men and women being what it looks like abused.

How ever there are those who have the need to be under someones wing , someone who can guide them. Many professionals still today see being submissive a sickness. but if they would actually listen and not judge their thoughts might be different. Many say they understand but how can that be if they have never lived that role?

What type of master are you ? How much responsibility do you want to take on ? How much control do you want ?

Looking over some post on Fetlife got me to thinking , those who are having trouble finding a partner , but the real story is those who are seeking a lifestyle relationship are looking in the wrong places.

Times have changed and so have people some for the better but then you have those who feel entitled. Everything should be giving and nothing earned. If you are giving a car as a child you do not appreciate it as you would if you worked and paid for it out of your own pocket.

The one who will not go out with you is the one you are afraid to ask out. Most men stay clear in fear of rejection but rejection means nothing , their loss your gain. If you are going to Wally’s Bar and Grill on Friday night looking for the one then you need a different plan.

To be a slave , to be property has to be a need and not a want , if it is just a need then training will never be effective.

A friend of mine Malkinius wrote a book called ” I Can Do This ” and it is available on Amazon.

The book starts out with a slave wanting to be trained and the first thing that is done the slave is stripped of everything. Clothes , watch , purse and yes cell phone , everything is taking and the slave enters the house naked.

Putting the slave in their place is the first step and although you will take the phone you should allow time during the day to check email , text and so on but very limited time. You direct the slave around the house and point where they may and may not sit. It was over a year before my slave was allowed to sit on any of my furniture. At the dinner table she sat at my feet to eat dinner. This will include bath time , bed time, preparing your meals and coffee in the am if you drink coffee.

Your main objective as a master is to make your life as easy as possible but there is a catch and the catch is if you expect 100% from your slave you have to give back 150% at all times. The training must remain consistent , hourly and daily. You set rules and protocols but with the rules they have to be obtainable.

 

Behavior Modification

https://www.kinkly.com/definition/6612/behavior-modification

Behavior modification is a type of consensual domination practice that involves changing undesired behaviors into more desirable ones by using reinforcement or punishment. For example, a Dominant would use behavior modification techniques to encourage a submissive to use proper titles (like Sir or Madam) at all times.

Behavior Modification is something I have been very successful with using. While the slave goes through a transformation in many cases the changes are so small the slaves does not even know.

If you enter the relationship as a dominant or submissive , master and slave the transition is more obtainable and in most cases the transition is very smooth. If you are moving from lets say a daddy and baby girl to a D’s or M’s relationship I do not believe it is possible. I also want to add using this technique must be a need and not a want. The submissive has to want to be a submissive and the same with the slave.

Behavior Modification must also be consensual while the slave must have a idea of what it going to take place the slave must also consent to such changes. Such training if not meant to be long term can be damaging to the slave , I am speaking about the mental aspect of the modification.

While you explain what you are going to do you never give a reason , you the master does not have to explain yourself. While explaining something when finished ask if there are any questions , this is the time to make things clear but again you never have to explain yourself and do not allow such behavior.

Use and use often and the most effective way is to use without notice. If you want to fuck put the slave on their back , get it done and walk away. If you want your dick suck just walk up and put your dick in the slaves mouth. Again all of this is made clear before you enter the relationship , again the word consensual.

If you have anger problems you need to rethink your lifestyle , as a master you need to remain calm , cool and collective at all times. You are the master , the owner , why would you raise your voice or argue with your slave , think about that word , Slave.

It is funny you can ask someone for a good reason why two people would argue and no one can answer that question. Arguments stem from a lack of communication. You also need to let it be known you the master can only make a informed decision based on the information giving to you.  Many slaves come from broken relationships and they can even be making that transition from a vanilla relationship. The last thing the slave needs is to be yelled at or put down.

Egos if you have a ego problem you need to open the trash can and get rid of it. A ego has not place in a M’s relationship and will set you up to fail. You are no different from the guy next door , the only difference is your lifestyle. You are no better than the person who only makes 20K a year compared to your 100K a year.

The final word

Sit your potential slave down , explain what you need and want out of a slave and listen to the slaves needs. Make your expectations clear , make your goals clear for the short term and long term..

Check out my slaves blog

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

Fetlife you can find me

 

https://fetlife.com/users/1322593

 

Vile

 

 

 

 

Training Your Slave

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Consensual, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owned property, Safe and Sane, sane and consensual, Slave, Submission, Submissive, TPE, you cannot change a submissive on September 28, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

A slave (sometimes called property or servant) is a term used to describe an s-type and much like a Master, is often used a variety of ways. Most often this term is used to refer to the submissive person in a consenting Master/slave relationship, usually defined as a 24/7 TPE relationship that is greatly respected within the local BDSM community.

The word “slave” is gender-independent: slaves can be of any gender and sexual orientation. If gender is to be indicated, use a phrase such as “female slave” or “male slave”, or the common compound terms slave-girl or slave-boy. Some male slaves are sissified – i.e., they prefer to be treated and referred to in a traditionally feminine manner, and some regardless of gender, prefer to use alternate pronoun conventions, ask someone if you’re not sure what personal pronouns they prefer.

http://www.bdsmwiki.info/Slave

 

I have touched on this in the past but really not into much real depth. While some think having their cock sucked is a form of training it really runs much deeper.

Although I love sex , I have this thought of been there done that. Growing older and wiser my relationship runs much deeper. You want control but you also want control without any resistance. If a slave is pushing back or having trouble following directions then you need to sit down and find out what is going on in the slaves head. Your plan as a Master should of been discussed prior to any type of agreement.

What kind of slave are you looking for ? What kind of slave do you want representing you ? Do you want a slave with children or would you consider ?

Recently I was helping a submissive look for a dominant , I contacted probably 75 Dominants around the same age as the submissive and almost all said they were not interested because they were looking for a submissive around the age of 18 to 21. Now these were 50 and 60 year old men who had not been active on fetlife in months and even years and had giving up on any type of relationship. My emails were only answered I am guessing because they received a email and nothing more.

Obedience implies compliance with the direction or command given to the slave by her Master. For a slave to be considered obedient rather than simply trained in obedience, she must respond reliably each time the command is given, by her Master. A slave can go through Obedience training and not be totally obedient requiring additional drastic training technics. If a slave is referred to as being Obedience Trained she should comply immediately with every command her Master gives her. In the strictest sense an Obedience trained slave is an obedient slave.

Training a slave in obedience can be an ongoing and lengthy process depending on the slave and her Master, the methods used, and the skill and understanding of both the Master and the slave. The level of obedience the Master wishes to achieve with the slave is also a major factor in the time involved, as is the commitment to training by the Master.

So with me service tops everything and this includes sex, then another must is total obedience. Both of these go hand in hand but then I am going to add loyalty , loyalty is a must. Before I entered my now relationship I made it clear I was a service orientated dominant and I explained everything in such detail there were no questions, then obedience, I explained I would not tolerate any games or push back once the training had begun.

While a owner stresses respect respect is something that is earned but I made it clear that when out she would show total respect to not only me but others as well.

How long is the training process ? Well that would depend on the two of you. How consistent are you ? Patience plays a huge role in training just because a rule is broken or a mistake is made , it does not mean it is time to punish. You as a owner have to realize mistakes are going to be made. I had a master tell me one time he could train a slave in 30 days or less and I was like really?

I find it hard to believe you can train a slave in 30 days or less because it takes you longer to get to know the slave than just 30 days. Training is mental , being able to understand how the slave thinks and why they think the way they do. changing habits. The idea is to get in the slaves mind so you can fully understand.

While training you the master are touching on several different areas at the same time. How to walk , speak , sit and where allowed to sit , how to cook and prepare your food , how to dress, when and where to sleep and how to interact with others while out.

One thing that has to be made clear , then relationship you enter must be consensual and nothing less. When you are negotiating your relationship you have to make everything clear. What the slave can expect during training , the service that is expected , the obedience that is expected and the loyalty. Then the sex comes up , you the owner needs to explain your needs and wants when it comes to sex , and this would include anal and oral and anything else you feel may be a need. If the slave says no to any of your needs then you do not have the right slave , cut your losses and move on. Do not , and I mean do not give in to any of your needs. Once you both have agreed then you can proceed. Often training begins without the slaves knowledge and once it begins you need to stay firm. You must answer any questions that is asked , but you never give a reason as to why you are doing something.

Sex , you have negotiated you have both come to a consensual agreement and one thing you have to remember sex is about you and only you the owner. You take without asking or you can direct without asking. You never ask to fuck or to give head you direct. You use and use often , the slave is your property.

I myself incorporated some humiliation during and after training , even today at times I use humiliation if I think it may be needed to make a small attitude adjustment. Humiliation can be effective when it comes to a little bit of a attitude.

Many people associate BDSM with just sex and kink but to a few and I mean very few it runs much deeper.

Another problem people in some cases settle for less than what they are looking for. When you enter such a relationship you know in your mind that the relationship is not going to work or you will not be happy. We do this because as humans we have the need for companionship , but when it comes to the lifestyle it is important to find the right click.

You Dominants and Masters out there could be living the dream and with a little work and dedication then end result is unlike anything you have seen.

Things have changed since the birth of the TNG the younger generation. Most of the lifestyle is about sex and do not get me wrong sex is awesome I fuck every chance I get and they the younger generation has the right to believe and follow their own way.  Several years ago I tried to attend a munch and a 18 year old told me my kind of people were not welcome and dont let the door hit me on the ass on my way out.  So it is my understanding the younger generation has no respect for the older generation and I am good with that. This is the reason I no longer mentor any longer you can figure things out on your own.

The training of your slave will vary from slave to slave , each slave thinks different , acts different and behaves different , has different needs and habits. These reasons is why it is important to get to know the slave before you start any training..

 

The photo is of our room for our 6th anniversary

Vile

 

 

My Mentor

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, Behavior Modification, Consensual, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mentor, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave with tags , , , , on July 16, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

By the early 80’s I had somewhat of a grasp of what the meaning of BDSM meant , but I did not know how to really implement anything as far as building a relationship.

I had lived with chong for almost 7 years and we really just winged it even after chong moved beth in. Beth was someone I really disliked but only went along with it because it was a need for chong.

Shortly after chong had left and went back to Korea , I guess I went through a early midlife crisis . This is when I thought I was missing something in life but little did I know it should of been left as a passing thought. I had to get married , I wanted the house with the fence , the dog and kids. Little did I know this would be the biggest mistake I would ever make in my life.

I knew before I married it was a mistake but I had put a plan in place and I was going to stick to it. Nine miserable years just short of ten years and I was free. Something I learned early on as a Dom was I had morels , I placed standards on myself when it came to my integrity and I would not bend. The duration of my marriage I remain Loyal , I never stepped outside of my marriage. I felt that any Dom who claimed to be such should have higher standards but through out the years I have found many do not and just as many lack integrity. Many associate BDSM with just fucking and kink nothing more and then they complain when things go south.

I divorced and both went through a paralegal to complete the paper work. I had agreed to pay 85.00 a week in child support but soon after I realized 85 a week was really nothing.

I left with nothing and about 1200 dollars in my pocket , to make things worse I was in between jobs. I rented a apartment for 600 a month and I talked the landlord into letting me make payments on the deposit.

While sitting in the waffle house one night , just getting off of my day labor job , yes day labor paid daily. Anyway I over heard two taxi drivers talking about how much they made that day. One was 250.00 and the other boasting about the 560.00 he made that day. Bam the next day I applied , passed background check then drug test and I was set.

The first 3 months I found to be hard , I did not know the ropes but little did I know things would change. The owner of the company Francis took a liking to me and gave me two dedicated runs daily that would give me a take home of about 250.00 dollars a day plus what ever else I made.

Soon after I bumped my child support up to about 150.00 a week because I knew how hard it must be for a single mother to try to raise a child..

Sometime passes and came the breakup , while in the hospital my slave left and moved on. Wow what a rough year that would prove to be. After leaving the hospital it would take me almost a year to recover. The only thing that kept me a float was the two dedicated runs I had , other than that I slept in the car while waiting on a call.

I pulled up on the taxi stand where most drivers sat through out the day waiting on a call. I seldom sat there , mainly because I had those two dedicated run and a dozen of regulars that kept me running most of the day. I pulled up next to this car and I noticed it was a new driver. This guy looked like a pissed off santa clause and I am just looking at him , he looks at me and says well does that cock sucker you have work ? I said excuse me really? He stated well if you are not like most of the bitches here speak the fuck up.

Wow! What in the fuck crawled up your ass and died you old mother fucker , did someone piss in your glass of Im pissed off at the world today?

Then out of nowhere he shouts fuck , I forgot to feed her. So I asked what? He stated my bitch is chained to the floor and she cant reach the fridge. You have your dog chained up? No you stupid mother fucker I would never chain a dog up , my slave you ignorant fuck . Then he started his car and drove off.

Later that night I was thinking about this old dude for what ever reason , I could not get him out of my mind. Thinking there was someone else out there like me , well kinda like me , I was not as grumpy.

Somehow Animel had the ability to pull in some very beautiful women and I remember one who is still in my mind today. She was half American and half Taiwanese. Probably 5’1 and less than 100 pounds. As I had mentioned while driving a cab part time , I took a call over the radio and pulled into this apartment complex and out came walking this drop dead gorgeous woman well young woman , I am guessing in her mid 20’s. It was like a movie , time seemed to stop and as she walked her hair was blowing in the wind. She wore this crop top and a pair of Daisy duke shorts and sneakers. She was not very friendly and really pretty snobbish so I just ignored her and gladly took my 40 bucks.

Several months later I went over to Animels to borrow some tools , I was changing a motor in a 71 Monte Carlo . Animel and his grumpy ass mumbled and pointed towards his shop and as I was going through his tool boxes I heard a slight moan . Walking around his dune buggy he had been building for years , I see this bitch chained to the floor and when she looked up at me , I said well , well, well look at what we have here. I yelled out yo dude you have a bitch chained to the floor. Animel yelled out don’t  feed her yet. So I picked up the tools I needed and walked around the dune buggy and just looked down at the woman and mumbled , fuck me and walked out.

Animel had been living in the warehouse for several years , I really thought the setup was pretty cool. As I walked out I looked at him and just starred and Animel blurted out what dick head? I said nothing and walked out.

As I stated most of what was shared I did not agree with but what I did learn I put it to good use. Sometimes you can listen to someone and only hear what you want and your brain just disregards the rest maybe you know you are doing that or maybe you do not.

 

What I did learn was the mental side of the lifestyle , control and not being controlling , and the need for open communication and listening.

Last year I received a call around 9pm  from someone I had not heard from in several years and was asked if I heard ? Then I was informed Animel had passed , I was stunned and felt great hurt. What is weird it affected me more than when my own parents passed , I felt like I had a great loss even though we had not spoken in 5 years.

A mentor , a teacher , someone you can confide in , someone who will guide and bring out your short comings.

I never knew for sure but I believe Animel was a trainer. His relationships were short but very intense . One day the slave was there and 2 or 3 months would pass and the slave was gone as fast as she appeared.

There were no task giving , no test , just hours and hours of conversations , questions and sharing life experiences.

One topic I concentrated on was Behavior Modification , changing someone to fit my needs and my needs only. Changing habits , the way someone spoke , acted in public and private , the way one sat and even walked , and all can be done without the slave even knowing. This is what I not only wanted but needed.

I learned anger had no place in a Master/slave relationship , how could a master be respected if he was full of anger and rage ? Every time , you scream , call names or even getting physical , verbal abuse is just as bad as physical , each time you lose a little more respect.

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile