Archive for the submissive blank canvas Category

Goals In BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Commit, commitment, communication, control, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, positive reinforcement, Protocol, Protocols, punish, Punishment, Rules, self confidence, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive blank canvas with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

We should all have goals in life and we as Dominants or Masters need to set goals for our property being Submissive or Slave.

The goals come from training , and again this is just my point of view , what works for me may not work for another Dom.

What makes our world so awesome is we can be who we want when we want. Our level of communication is just incredible.

As with anything though we all have to take steps. A new Dominant or Master has to take steps, it is a progression progress.

Where things blow up or get out of hand , an inexperienced Dom tries to jump in with both feet in the fire and it blows up in his face.

Just as we set goals for our property we have to set our own goals for us.
Where do we want to be? What type of relationship do we want ? Do we want a submissive or a slave? Where do we want to be a year from now ?
These are steps that we need to think about before we start walking. Yes that even means putting a plan into place and following that plan.

What is more important is when you set your goals you stick to them , and one by one you complete each goal, it is not rocket science and it is much easier than most make it out to be.
The downside of everything is it takes work because nothing is handed to you, no one can complete your goals for you.

So you can look and act like you know what your doing or you can look like a complete idiot.

Our partners , our submissive’s our Slaves should always come first no matter what. We put those who serve in front of everything else or anybody else and that includes family.

Honesty and integrity first and for most , we want respect but we have to show it first. We must be truthful from the start. If you start out your relationship with a lie then your whole relationship is a lie , and you can never go back.

One of the first things we tell someone we just met is , you must always be truthful, always tell the truth no matter what. We want honesty out of our property but we don’t want to give the same in return. Although one is Dominant and one is Submissive it is not a one way street.

Rules , Structure , Protocols and Goals they all fall into place. They key to what I just stated also falls under consistency , and being consistent on a daily basis.

You want someone to follow you , you want someone to submit to you , you want someone to turn over control, well buddy you gotta step up to the plate and promise you can and will step up and you will guide them every step of the way..

When we train we train to fit our needs, we train to fit our wants so it is only fair we give back more than we take. If we take a 100 % we should give back 150% and on a daily basis.

Goals are set for self improvement , goals are set to help in everyday life. Goals can be small or as big as going back to school.
Goals can be from getting up at a certain time, completing small task through out the day.

All goals should be met with positive reinforcement, that a girl , maybe some other small reward.

Some not all but some come with problems , be it self esteem , home life , daily life or just smothered in personal problems, maybe depression or other types of illnesses.
Before anything we should take the time to help mend what ever is going on before we enter the D’s or M’s aspect of the relationship.

The two should sit down and discuss goals and why they are needed. Goals how ever should not be a punishable offense. Goals and positive Reinforcement does not equal being punished.

You know I have spoken about how I had roommates prior to meeting Ariannna. I did so mainly because I wanted the company someone I could sit down to dinner with.

One the female who is a very dear friend was and is very sick, and suffers from depression, a lot of things going on. She head no insurance not physically able to work, so I set goals for her.

I walked her through each and every process. First I got her the medical attention she needed , I then made sure she went to counseling , medication for her depression , then a lawyer and last disability. All of these were goals and they were started and completed.
In the end she messed somethings up and lost some , but in a way it was her fault and in a way it was not.
Her Boyfriend is worthless , he is like a screen door on a submarine , he gives no support , did not even care until the day she was receiving her check from SSI.
Helping her is more of a burden to him not to mention the mental abuse.
I did what I felt I had to , and while there were road blocks we completed each task , until things fell into place.

If we set goals then we should be there to help , we should be there to guide , and give advice when needed.
You cannot treat a goal like a rule , because it is no longer a goal. Goals are meant for self improvement.
What we as Dominants or Masters want is to see ours grow inside and out, we want to build ours up , even if it means just maintaining their health , making sure they are stable.

Once you reach that goal you need to continue support, so we can maintain that level , and again that comes with positive reinforcement.

So if you are in a relationship and there are no such plans in play , and your relationship is just about rules and being punished , then maybe your best interest does not come into play…..

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Vile

My Story The Breaking Of Sabrina. Breaking A Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Breaking a Slave, commitment, communication, control, controlling, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Master, Master And Slave, owning a slave, Pain, relationships, sex slaves, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive blank canvas, Young Dominant with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

In the past just in general conversation, I have had Dominants who were friends of mine who had spoken of wanting to break a slave.
Why do you want to break a slave? Because I want to, I want that control.

The truth is you can have that control, and probably more control without Breaking a Slave.

Although The Breaking Of Sabrina had some fiction in it, some of it was real, and things like I spoke about do happen on a daily basis.

There was a Dominant who came to a munch a couple of years ago, who said he ran a Slave camp in Ocala Florida, after talking for a while I was invited, but I declined.

That is not the way I roll, and if I see nothing I know nothing.

Even today I would not want to take on such a task, nor would I want that kind of responsibility

The Breaking Of Sabrina is about a man who wanted something he knew nothing about. He thought he wanted what Vile had, but once he had it he did not know what to do with her, and in the end she left her husband, and Sabrina and Vile are still together, in the book anyway.

There are two ways to Break a Slave, consensual , and non-consensual.
I have seen the consensual side of Breaking, by a Dominant I know who lives local here, and through the weeks I clearly saw the transformation the slave went through. I suppose being willing to be broken play a Hugh part in the process, but I also suppose being with a Dominant you care about and want to stay but putting up a resistance would make things more difficult. It would depend on how far you want to go, and how much your willing to give up.

Breaking a slave does not have to be physical, although I am sure that is what some of the steps that are taking during the process.

Breaking one would be more of a mental thing, and the unknowing. Getting inside your head and playing with your brain like putty.

I had mentioned before about a Slave camp here where I live, does it really exist ? I am not really sure, it may because I would not of been invited to something that was not real.

One does not have to be extreme in order to be abusive, even minor abuse to me is extreme.

To Break a slave means you have to bring them back up. More importantly you must have the ability to bring the slave back up, and the want as well as the dedication.

Although I could, that is not again a responsibility or task I would even think of taking on.

If you are thinking about taking on such a task, you the Dominant needs to insure you are in the relationship for the long haul. Anything short lived could have bad effects on the slave, and may have trouble even functioning , or you could even cause a severe breakdown.

You have to think, why would you need to try and break someone’s will? What are you going to get out of it ? What do you plan on accomplishing ? What is the slave going to get out of this type of training ?

Before you begin your training, you should already know what steps you are going to take.

The one advantage you have over your slave or submissive, while your training, they will be spending much of their time trying to figure you out. Trying to figure out the Dominant is not a shirt term task either, so it is very important the Dominant keeps changing things up.

Breaking someone’s will can take less than 48 hours, up to about 6 weeks. Do you really want to spend that much time? If you do not live together it will be impossible to reach that point. Breaking someone is not something you can do on the weekends.

Also there should be no physical abuse, that will just blow up in your face. There should be no abuse at all.
Breaking a slave is Mental, it is getting deep in their mind.

Humiliation will play a huge part in this type of training. Everyone’s definition of humiliation is different, so the Dominant will have to explore, and see which avenue he will want to take..

The Training of a Slave is a form of breaking. It is actually a form of mind modification, you are reprogrammed. You are now told how to do task you did on a daily basis, but now you are being shown a different way. You must adapt to your surroundings.
What most do not understand is the training really never ends, because the Master is making sure everything stays in check.
I myself may add something or take away something, the last thing I want to do is cause an overload.

The breaking of a slave can be said the Master is causing a complete breakdown, and starting with a blank canvas. It can also get to a point where they slave cannot even think for their selves any longer.

The story The Breaking of Sabrina was about a greedy man who wanted something someone else had, but once he got it, he did not know what to do or how to handle. Yea not having instructions can be bad.

You cannot beat someone into submission, you can however beat someone into fear, and fear is all you have, with fear there is no relationship you have a puppet who is scared of you.

This is where the trust factor comes into play. It has to be a Dominant that you know and you are willing to just turn your life over to.
If you think about it that is a huge decision and one that should be giving a lot of thought.

As I stated it would have to be something the Dominant would be able to devote a lot of time.

Everyone’s definition of Breaking a slave will be different, but I am a firm believer it can be done and should be done without pain.

Humiliation will play a huge roll in the breaking as well as sex, and just being used. Maybe not being allowed to go to the bathroom, not being able to eat, and being talked to in a very humiliating way.
If you are willing with no resistance the time frame would be much shorter than if you did put up any resistance.

Arianna went through a Breaking in process, I would of never taking her down as I have stated above.

The other thing that should be considered is their mental well being, and the medications they are on. You could really hurt someone, if you are not experienced.

I have seen the process, I have seen it in person and I have seen the outcome as well, and in that case it turned out okay.
She did however become fully dependent upon the master.
He then was in his mid 60’s and she had not turned 30, so you have to look at the whole picture. What if something happens to him?

Something I have tried to explain not only to the younger Doms who are in the learning process, but older Doms who are new as well.
While the learning process is not easy, it can be very rewarding.
Then about two weeks into the lifestyle they know everything, and any advice is shunned. When their relationships are not working they want to put all the blame on the slave or submissive.

I find it very funny because even after 20 years or so I am still learning everyday. Everyday is a new day, and we should continue to grow.
Many times however some will let their egos get in the way.
I am in the Dominant in the relationship and I know what I am doing.
I am the Dominant you have no right to question me. I am in charge and you will listen. If you would do what you were told we would not be having these problems.
It just goes on and on.

These are the same Dominants who are not welcome with in the community. These are the same Dominants , that meet those slaves and subs who have been in the lifestyle for sometime, and they will have nothing to do with them….

While they will say it is not their fault, it is indeed they are just to blind to see, what they are doing wrong.

I learned sometime ago there comes a time you have to be humble, you also have to be willing you made a mistake. You have to have a level of respect.
Today there are older Dominants I will address as Sir out of respect.

You have to ask the Dominant what his goals are, what are his intentions, what does he plan to get out of the relationship?
There are so many things we tend to look over because you are in the excitement mode and your mind is going a 100 miles an hour.

Just like my story The Breaking Of Sabrina , he did not know what to do with her once he had her.

I have a much longer version coming out soon, and Sabrina will be helping with the training..

If your going to Break a slave or Submissive, make sure you have the time to dedicate, your willing to be in for the long haul, and you have the right tools and resources available to you..

breaking

Vile

Do You Really Need To Train Your Submissive ?

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive blank canvas, submissive or slave has rights, sucking dick with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The truth is , no you do not. I know this sounds weird coming from me, but in a real perfect world no training is really required.

Many of you who are in active relationships have really had no type of formal training. Having no training can be okay and find if you are in the right hands.

Now you ask me how is having no training possible and being in a D’s relationship even possible ? How can a D’s relationship work with no training at all?

To train someone is to change someone into something the Dominant wants or needs. Training can be mild to extreme. Training can be very loving, or it can be very hard and strict. That would mainly depend on the Dominant or Master.

If you are truly a Submissive and you have the need to serve, in the right hands no formal training is really required.

Here is my thoughts and my reasoning. You have a lion who gives birth to a cub, once the cub is old enough to learn how to hunt it already has the basic instincts. What the cub now needs it for the lion to teach it how to use the skills it has already.

Okay maybe not the perfect analogy , but if you think about it, it really fits my explanation.

So you being the submissive already know your submissive, and you have the need to serve, be it sexual or domestic or both. What you need is someone who is capable of fine tuning those skills.

A lot depends on the submissive during this growing and learning process. It depends on how honest you have been, it depends on how much you want to put into the relationship , it depends on how much you truly trust your Dominant. It depends on the bond the two of you have formed, but more than anything , How much you want to serve.

See you already have the basic instincts , you already have a vision about what type of relationship you need. The key is finding the right partner, someone who can make you complete.

Many of you I am guessing are not really open to any type of training, your not really interested in being trained. You just need a Dominant figure in your life. Someone who is just going to take control, and lead.

The truth is everything will just fall into place. Everything will just seem so easy, and if continued the transition will be very smooth, and it is something you will not even really notice.

You can meet a new Dominant, which is what you all want. He may say he has 5, 10 or 15 years experience when in fact he has just read 50 shades of grey. This is not always a bad thing if the Dominant has the right intentions, and he to is looking for a long term relationship. Most Dominants who are new and have never had a submissive will never admit that , while I can understand those thoughts it is not really fair to you the submissive.

He will also state that he will train you, but once you have agreed to enter the relationship training never takes place, mainly because he does not have a clue, and you do not say anything because things are moving smoothly.

The only time you should be concerned is when he says lets start your training while he is unzipping his pants.If he tries to give you rules on the first meeting, some rules are okay, if they really benefit you, such as a new bedtime, or maybe a change in diet, but nothing should be sexual at this stage of the game.

If you benefit from just having that Dominant figure in your life with no rules, or task, even protocols then so be it, but you have to make sure your needs are being met, on all levels, and you should never settle for anything less.

The most important thing in your relationship is making sure your needs are met. If your needs are being met,then you are in the right place. If they are not you have the right to question. You have the right to know why you are giving so much and not getting back in return. You have the right to know what steps are going to be taking to make things right, and a time line.

You cannot give and give and get nothing in return, it does not work that way for you and if you allow it to it will not work for long.

You should always come first no matter what, that should never be negotiated.

 

focused Stay Focused, and learn everything will just fall into place.

Vile

Being A Dominant Is An Art

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Dominant, Master, slave, submissive, submissive blank canvas on February 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Some twenty years ago I was talking to a Slave and she made the comment I am a blank canvas just paint me. I was like what the fuck are you talking about. I just want the pussy so I can move on.That is all I cared about and nothing more. I wanted to use and move on to the next.

Today I understand those words, and looking back if I was just not thinking with my cock, well who knows. Today I am in a good place. I am very happy and content.

A blank canvas is a good place to start. You can paint your vision. You can pint your life. You the Dominant are in full control of what you paint, and if you paint well, then your submissive will surely follow.

Before you can begin to paint though there are steps you have to take before the first stroke of the brush, you have to have a clear vision. In order to have a clear and understanding vision you have to know the one you are painting. You have to know them inside and out. It is kinda like being nano , your tiny and you ar able to enter ones brain and it is like your walking around. You have to have a full understanding of who you are going to paint.

Put the BDSM aside for a few , you want to know the submissive as a person, their likes, dislikes but more so their needs. You have to know what makes them think the way they do. What makes them happy, what makes them sad or angry. You are going to be painting all of this. You are going to take this blank canvas and your going to paint your life. Your going to paint something that fits your needs and wants. You are going to mold the perfect submissive.

If while being in the nano mode if you skip anything your painting will not be complete. You have to want to take on such a task. You can buy a painting and hang it on the wall, and admire it, but to paint and complete yourself is a total new admiration . You can say Yea I did that. I molded my submissive, I painted her. She is a true sign of perfection.

If we are not able to access such information, what is the point? Being a Dominant that is what we do we get inside their brain. We do this so we can gain control, we have to know what makes them tick, and we have to learn to control, without control it is a losing battle.

Then comes the negotiation because most of the time the submissive will add their input. The submissive has needs as well. so while painting we must consider everything, it surely cannot be a one way street, even a slave gives and should be able to give their thoughts.

Being a Dominant is an art, but it is an art that very few can Master, it is an art that very few want to follow through with, and it is an art that very few want to complete. You only paint half of the picture and you wonder why things are not working out. It is failing because you did not complete the painting.

Complete what you start and you can have anything and everything you ever wanted.

Image

vile