Archive for the submissive or slave has rights Category

If I Control Your Mind

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, being used, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Patience, Protocol, Respect, Rules, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

How much of her submission do you want ? Have you ever wanted a Slave or submissive who has no inhibitions? Have you ever wanted a slave or submissive who is 100% compliant ?
Have you ever wanted a relationship where the word argue is not in either ones vocabulary?
Have you ever wanted a Docile pet, Baby Girl, submissive or slave ?
Do you want someone who will follow you without question ?

The truth is you can have all of the above and more. The bad news is it takes a little work on your part, the Dominant, yes you are going to have to put in a little effort.

You know I was chatting with a Dom on Facebook the other day, and he told me his life was basically a wreck, and when I told him he needed a plan, he laughed at me. He laughed and he meant it.

If you the Dominant enters a relationship and you are true about what you want and need, and your willing to put your slave or submissive first, dedicate the time that is needed, you can have anything you want, and I do mean anything, and without question.

Some of you are going to say dude your full of shit, there is no such thing as a relationship like that is there?
I am here to tell you I am living the dream, and you the Dominant can live the dream as well.

BDSM is not about pain or how many bruises you can leave. BDSM is not about humiliation. BDSM is not about barking orders. Most of all BDSM is not about demanding respect or submission, it is about earning both.

You can never demand submission, it does not work that way, but some have it in their mind, I am Dominant and you will submit.
You may luck out and find a submissive who is down and out with a low self esteem, who will follow you for a short time, and meet your silly demands, but that bull shit is so short lived.

Control, that word openings up a whole new world. If your truly in control of yourself, your life, your surroundings the moon is the limit.
Being in full control, you will earn respect, you will earn the right to be called Sir, or Daddy even Master. Those titles what ever they are worth are earned. If you have to demand they mean nothing, nothing at all.

So we go a little deeper, instead of telling someone to crawl to you, or having trouble enforcing rules, not wanting to follow rules.
Why not have someone who wants to crawl to you, or someone who has the need to follow rules, the need to please ?

A D’s or M’s relationship is really easy, it does not require any drama, , no yelling, no getting angry and losing your temper. Just being who you say you are, just doing what you say your going to do, and keep your word, and be nothing but truthful….

Being truthful will help you earn the trust that is needed, and earning the trust will also lead to submission.

One thing that gets to me, is a Dom will say you must always be truthful and he is living a lie. You cannot expect someone to be someone if you are not who you are suppose to be…

This strategy will not only work is a D’s or M’s relationship but much of this can work in a vanilla relationship.

We as men, Dominant or not, we have to value our partner , we have to respect and be thankful for who and what they are, because in the end they are the only ones who will have our back in a time of need.

If you control their mind , for the most as well all know BDSM is mental, BDSM is communication, BDSM is about control and not controlling, BDSM is about having patience, BDSM is about understanding and caring about ones needs.

Being able to fully understand your partner and what makes them tick.
Being able to let your partner rant or share their thoughts without getting angry. Being able to understand when they are feeling funky and just letting them alone for a while.
You would not believe how many arguments could be avoided by using this practice.

You have to learn when it is okay to ignore certain situations and when some needs to be addressed.

I screw everything up, it is all my fault, I did it, I cant do anything right. Come on you have all heard this.
There are times when you just stay quite and let things pass, instead of drilling to find out what is wrong.

I mentioned how important the journal is, this gives the Dominant a great tool to find out where his slave or submissive is coming from.

Communication, several times a day I ask Arianna what is on her mind. She knows this is free time, she can share her thoughts and we talk about them.
Even if it is something that was brought up before, we should be open to talk about it.
Well we have already talked about that so there is no need to bring it up again.
Sure there is and it may have greater importance this time around.

This is how we access the open communication. The slave or sub will feel they can now talk about anything and everything.
This is also a step in the right direction when it comes to trusting.

Although we want to know what they are thinking, we want to know why they are thinking it. I know it sounds complicated but it is really not.

I mentioned the first 90 days of training. The training process is more effective if the two are living together.
Reason being there has to be some form of consistency while training if not , the process can take much longer. The 90 days does not mean training is completed because it never really ends.
As we grow we learn, and the more we learn the more we share. We also want our property to grow as well.

Living together allows you to put rules and protocols in place and the Dominant can be sure they are being followed.

If you the Dominant are in the right frame of mind, your property will want to follow without question.

Getting into the mind that is where you want to be. You should know your property inside out. You want to learn things they have never told anyone else.

Whether you know it or not when you the Dominant shows anger this is a weakness, and it is a weakness they slave or submissive will use against you.
These are buttons that can be pushed and will be pushed. Anger controlling anger take a lot of control and self training.
You want to figure the slave or sub out, what makes them tick, their thoughts , their needs, but if they ever figure you out, it is game over, and showing your anger, and being abusive, be it verbal, mental or physical, you just might as well pack up your bags.
Being happy in a relationship is one thing, but a submissive no matter how happy they may be if they are not getting what they need, it will be found somewhere else.
I know I am speaking from experience. Once you lose that control, it is nearly impossible to regain, I know I lost.
The best way to start is to think before you speak, think about how it is going to sound coming out of your mouth.

An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts, that is true, just like a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. So thinking before we speak, taking in that deep breath, really makes a world of difference.

The calmer your are, the more in control you are, the greater the submission will grow.

What many of us fail to see is there is no right way, we all have different needs, finding the right partner to fill that void is the right way.
The last thing we should do or want to do is try to change someone. We can improve but to change is not fair…

mind

Vile

Collaring Your Property

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Communitys, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, collaring ceremony, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Married Dominant, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights, sucking cock with tags , , , , , on September 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A Dominant gets that feeling when he first meets a slave or submissive.
The entire time while in deep conversation we sit there in deep thought, it is almost like being in another world, a world of our own.

I sit and listen, while I am talking to myself, my mind in soaking everything in. The words, the facial expression’s, hand movements , posture, hair, makeup, jewelry , the way she is dressed. Yes even down to the hands and nails. The way she drinks, the way she picks up her silverware , the way she eats, the way she drinks, I am taking in all of this information, yes even the way she ask and answers questions.

When I met Arianna I knew within the first 10 minutes if it would be possible to build something, I knew a relationship was highly likely.

Yes while it is true the first thing I noticed was her beauty, perhaps the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She carried herself very well. Nicely dressed, very feminine, her hair was almost perfect, and just enough makeup. Her hands are small, her nails were done. That is one of the first things I look at when it comes to a female. Nails hands and feet, and no I do not have a foot fetish. It is a sign of how good they take care of themselves, and how much they care.

Remember I am looking for a relationship, not a fuck buddy, or a piece of ass on the side. I was not looking for someone to suck my cock when I was lonely.

Every question had a purpose, every answer had a purpose. If I asked a direct question, I wanted a direct answer. If I did not get one I would ask the question in a different way same meaning different question.

My questions were not even BDSM related, they were about life, hobbies, likes and dislikes, food, music, work, and of course health, such as anxiety and depression. I wanted to know Arianna inside out before we parted for the day.

As a Dominant you want to get to know the submissive or slave as a person. I want to know there is a compatibility factor coming into play. I want to know we are going to have more in common than just BDSM.

You can teach someone how to suck cock, you can teach someone how you like to fuck, that is the easy part.

Your goal as the Dominant is to become friends, you cannot do that in just one or two meetings.

As I am talking to Arianna, I was imagining the type of collar she would wear, how it would rest around her neck.

See I was looking at the whole picture not only the now but the then, way down the road. I was picturing the two of us together, being out. Long drives going to different places. The whole picture, if you just live in the now you never get anyplace.

I use the word Property because it means ownership. When you place a collar around someone’s neck you are taking possession, thus the word property comes into play.

Many use several different collars, the consideration collar, the training collar, and a few others. I do not use any of those for a couple of reasons.
The slave or submissive is already under a lot of stress. I cannot even imagine what is going through their mind. I believe when we use the different collars we are in fact setting someone up for failure, because if it does not work out, this will cause a crash. I do however use a collar of protection this is worn when going out in the public to different BDSM events, such as Munchs or MAsT.
So I suppose at times I make up my own protocols, but I am me and I am the manager of my team, as a matter of fact I own the team.

We as Dominants or Masters should provide all information upfront. We should set the pace as far as how the relationship is going to go.
Meaning your going to go into some of the things you are going to include in your training. The structure you are going to help with, the communication. I believe as a Master we should have an open door policy. We need to let our property speak freely and express their needs, and if they have any questions or concerns.
I explain everything in such detail so that when I am done there are no questions.

I never tell someone when training has started, I just begin, you start off with small steps. The last thing you want to do is give someone a brain overload.

That is the same with Rules, Rules are meant to improve ones daily life. Rules are meant to build one up, remember taking bad habits and making good ones.
It is my opinion rules should not have anything to do with sex, because your going to get anything you want as a Dominant or a Master.
Telling someone they cannot masturbate for 2 months is not a rule, that is an ego, and nothing more. Telling someone they cannot masturbate has nothing to do with improving someone’s daily life.

Once we agree to enter a D’s Or M’s relationship we are then taking full responsibly for that slave or submissive, we have then made a total commitment, we have giving our word we would be there for them and only them.

My way is not the only way, and I know this, but I can show you the simple steps you can take so you can avoid all the headaches.

A dead give away, a Dominant tries to give you a collar on the first meeting, or even the first week, the first month.
That is a sign of desperation on his part, or he just wants to use you. There are way to many men out there that use a collar as a fuck tool. When your offered a collar you are sitting on top of the world, In our lifestyle there is no greater honor. To wear a collar your Dominant has offered you.

What makes the collar more special is knowing you have earned it. You have completed the training, well the start of it because it never really ends, but you have gotten to the point, the Dominant knows he has done well, and you have responded well. Now he wants to take ownership.

The collaring is meant to be special, it is meant to be remembered. When you get married does he just hand you a ring and say okay put this on we are married? Yea not to much of a special thing going on there.

It can be private, or you may have guest come over. You can have another Dominant preform the ceremony. You have a lot of options.

The collaring should start off with a conversation. The Dominant. I would like for you to except my collar, and these are the reasons why. A very detailed conversation, on the two of you, how you have grown, where your at now in the relationship, but more important where you plan to be in the future.

If your sitting at a Denny’s meeting for the first time, and your New Dominant reaches in his pocket and pulls out this cheap fake leather collar and says here put this on. I would hope you would call him an idiot and get up and leave.

There is a courtship in any relationship, be it D’s , M’s or vanilla. There is a process that each one of you take. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it does not, but do not let yourself be taken advantage of.

You the submissive should sit down with your Dominant and pick out your collar. Remember this is a huge step, in your journey.
What type of collar can you wear on a daily basis. When I collared Arianna at our wedding, I made it clear once I put it on it would never come off, and she accepted that, and to this day it has been off one time so a jeweler could look to see if he could add a Diamond to it. She wears it 24/7 and yes even to work.
The funny thing is no one has ever questioned her about it, or even mentioned it, at work or just out.

You have earned the collar wear it with pride.

collared1

Vile

Do You Really Need To Train Your Submissive ?

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive blank canvas, submissive or slave has rights, sucking dick with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The truth is , no you do not. I know this sounds weird coming from me, but in a real perfect world no training is really required.

Many of you who are in active relationships have really had no type of formal training. Having no training can be okay and find if you are in the right hands.

Now you ask me how is having no training possible and being in a D’s relationship even possible ? How can a D’s relationship work with no training at all?

To train someone is to change someone into something the Dominant wants or needs. Training can be mild to extreme. Training can be very loving, or it can be very hard and strict. That would mainly depend on the Dominant or Master.

If you are truly a Submissive and you have the need to serve, in the right hands no formal training is really required.

Here is my thoughts and my reasoning. You have a lion who gives birth to a cub, once the cub is old enough to learn how to hunt it already has the basic instincts. What the cub now needs it for the lion to teach it how to use the skills it has already.

Okay maybe not the perfect analogy , but if you think about it, it really fits my explanation.

So you being the submissive already know your submissive, and you have the need to serve, be it sexual or domestic or both. What you need is someone who is capable of fine tuning those skills.

A lot depends on the submissive during this growing and learning process. It depends on how honest you have been, it depends on how much you want to put into the relationship , it depends on how much you truly trust your Dominant. It depends on the bond the two of you have formed, but more than anything , How much you want to serve.

See you already have the basic instincts , you already have a vision about what type of relationship you need. The key is finding the right partner, someone who can make you complete.

Many of you I am guessing are not really open to any type of training, your not really interested in being trained. You just need a Dominant figure in your life. Someone who is just going to take control, and lead.

The truth is everything will just fall into place. Everything will just seem so easy, and if continued the transition will be very smooth, and it is something you will not even really notice.

You can meet a new Dominant, which is what you all want. He may say he has 5, 10 or 15 years experience when in fact he has just read 50 shades of grey. This is not always a bad thing if the Dominant has the right intentions, and he to is looking for a long term relationship. Most Dominants who are new and have never had a submissive will never admit that , while I can understand those thoughts it is not really fair to you the submissive.

He will also state that he will train you, but once you have agreed to enter the relationship training never takes place, mainly because he does not have a clue, and you do not say anything because things are moving smoothly.

The only time you should be concerned is when he says lets start your training while he is unzipping his pants.If he tries to give you rules on the first meeting, some rules are okay, if they really benefit you, such as a new bedtime, or maybe a change in diet, but nothing should be sexual at this stage of the game.

If you benefit from just having that Dominant figure in your life with no rules, or task, even protocols then so be it, but you have to make sure your needs are being met, on all levels, and you should never settle for anything less.

The most important thing in your relationship is making sure your needs are met. If your needs are being met,then you are in the right place. If they are not you have the right to question. You have the right to know why you are giving so much and not getting back in return. You have the right to know what steps are going to be taking to make things right, and a time line.

You cannot give and give and get nothing in return, it does not work that way for you and if you allow it to it will not work for long.

You should always come first no matter what, that should never be negotiated.

 

focused Stay Focused, and learn everything will just fall into place.

Vile

What Makes A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, Behavior Modification, Bondage, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, Humiliation, Living Poly, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is an answer that will differ from one person to another. Every Submissive, Slave, or Baby Girl will have a different definition. Every Slave, Submissive or Baby Girl has different needs, their submissive is on different levels, but the characteristics should be somewhat the same when it comes to A definition.

Honesty should be first on the list. When you first meet a new Dominant the first words out of his mouth is. You should always be honest with me. Now if he holds you to such high standards , why would he not be held to the same ?

I know I rag on married men who cheat on their wives, but if a man is married and he tells you, I want you to be honest with me at all times. You need to stop and think about those words coming out of his mouth, because he is already lying to you about being honest. It is clear he cannot run or control his own home, so how can he control you?

I will speak about couples who move into the lifestyle here in a minute, because there is a clear difference.

You know when meeting a new Dominant you should be able to tell if he has your best interest in mind. Such as asking about your home life, your health, any medications your on. The music you like, your favorite foods, you get the picture.

It is very important the two of you get to know each other as friends.If you start the relationship off on a sexual note, then that is all you will have and it will be short lived.

Make sure you fully understand what is expected of you. I myself explain things in such detail when I am finished there are no questions. If you ask me a question I give a very in depth answer.

Before a Dominant can hand out any rules, he should know you inside out, He should know how you think and what makes you think the way you do. He must have a clear picture and understanding of your bad and good habits.

I have said before rules are meant to replace bad habits. Rules are meant to provide structure. Rules will give you a comfort zone, meaning you have a clear understanding of what is going on. Once you have rules in place, they are almost never altered. Once you have a grasp on everything a few maybe added or old ones taken away.

Training

Is training real? Absolutely it is real and there are many different levels of training depending on how far you are wanting to take your submission.
Training can be mild, or it can be extreme, and even taking as far as what some would call the Stockholm syndrome, and one of the best references would be to study up on the Patty Hurst case.

You the Submissive or Slave should know and understand exactly what it is you hope to gain out of your training. How do you see yourself living in a D’s Or M’s relationship.
Before the training begins, the Dominant should sit you down and explain what he hopes to gain from your training, and where he hopes to see you in 90 days or so.
The training process can only be effective if the Dominant is consistent on a daily basis. The training can only be effective if the rules, and protocols are enforced on a daily basis.

A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that may put your job in jeopardy. A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that could be against the law.

Isolation

Many of you really have no idea what the term Isolation means when it comes to a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Implementing such an act can be very harmful to you mentally, and physically. Shutting you out from the outside world, keeping you away from family and friends.
Lets face it we all need a break at one time or another. Being able to visit friends, family, having a girls night out. You want to be able to clear your head.
Isolation is something many fake Doms use as a tool. The more your isolated the less chance you have finding out any real information.
You Don’t need friends you have me. You don’t need to talk to anyone else , that is why you have me. I am your Dom, or master I have all the information you need.

You should never give your passwords or any other personal information to your Dominant. This is a true sign of the Dominant being insecure. We are all adults and we all need some privacy. Insecurity, and a huge ego will get you nowhere.
You as a submissive or Baby girl, you have the right to question, you also have the right to say no. If your not sure Google submissive or Baby girl.

If you do not live together you should have full access to your Dominants home, once you both have agreed to enter a relationship.
The reason being, he will tell you what is yours is now his. Well surprise, surprise it works both ways now..

You should have access to your Dominant 24/7 if you are not living together. If you send a text or email, you should expect a response in a timely manner, meaning within an hour or so.
I have seen on her where a Dominant has told his property he was to busy to text, or email for several days.

Pick up your cell phone and type 35 words and time yourself and see how long it takes. 15 seconds maybe? So your going to tell me the Dominant does not have time to respond, yea bullshit.

Remember you have giving your submission, and he the Dominant has taking on the responsibility. You do have rights.

If you do not live together, and you have agreed to enter a relationship, the Dominant should be able to provide you with a clear time line on when the two of you would be making some kind of move. If neither have no plans of moving in together that is fine.

The Poly Dominant

Poly is not for everyone, and living in a poly relationship is probably one of the hardest task in the lifestyle. Most poly families do not life together, for one reason or another. I know of a couple right now that are working but the drama is just out of hand.
If you do not live together, there is no way to maintain any type of structure. If you do not live together, there is no way to enforce any type of rules or protocols.

You the Submissive needs to ask upfront if the Dominant is poly or not. If you are not poly then you need to make it clear, and you need to stand by your words.
If you are open to the idea but with stipulations you need to make them clear.
You should also ask why he has a need to have more than one submissive or slave. When I has asked other Doms the answer has always been I need more flavor. Think about this for a minute, more flavor really? So your cocking sucking skills are not good enough, maybe he needs a tighter pussy? Or maybe you refuse to do anal and that is a need for him. If ass fucking is a need and your not into anal, guess what? Your the wrong submissive for him.

Dominants And Depression

That is a loaded gun, and the clip is never empty. There is a great chance you the submissive or slave has some form of depression, not everyone but the odds are pretty good you do.
If this is the case, how would you expect a Dominant who suffers from pretty much the same thing, take control of your life. If the Dominant is not able to control his own life, how can he control yours?
These are questions you need to find out before entering a relationship. You need to know what type of medications he is on and what they are for.
When entering a D’s or M’s relationship you can leave no stone un-turned.
Depression is a silent killer, watch the news this morning and you will see.

The Dominant.

No real Dominant has anger issues. The real Dominant is in full control. The real Dominant lives by the truth, and expects the same in return. A Dominant is in full control of his life and surroundings. The real Dominant has no Drama inssues, he has no Drama with the Ex.
Most Dominant are very active in the lifestyle it is a true need, I know this because it is for me, and the 25 or so I meet with every month.
You should be able to ask for references, of other Doms he knows and in some cases other Subs he knows or has owned before.

Reason being you are going to let a man tie you up, spank your ass, along with many other things, and you do not want someone who just read 50 shades thinks he is the almighty, he is now the Master of Masters. You can get hurt.

Couples moving into the Lifestyle

Now this is the other Dominant, he may still have some anger issues. Anger or controlling anger takes a while to master, it takes time to learn how to control. It took me some time, I do have a temper, and I have lost it, but Arianna has never seen that side of me and she never will.
You have to learn how to filter that anger and replace it with good.
One thing I started doing, my mentor told me this. If you are angry think about what your going to say before you say it.
This gives you time to rethink what your about to say, and it also gives you time to calm down a little.

If your wife is not Submissive, but you have found a Dominant side in you, if you sat your wife down and explain your needs in full detail, it is more than likely she will agree to experiment with your idea. You have to be able to sat her down, and explain in clear detail what has made you change, and why these things are now a need. In most cases it is in the woman’s blood to want to please.

If you are a submissive and your Husband is not Dominant, well it is sad to say your pretty much out of luck.
Chances are the male is not going to want to take on anymore responsibility than he already has, which in most cases is very little. Those who have very little responsibility, are in it for the mother figure thing , and that is what you are you do everything his mother did, except for sex.

You cook, you clean, you take care of the kids, you pay the bills, and he watches Monday Night Football.
Many married men see BDSM as abuse, and they feel bad about doing certain things.

You all know how I feel about stepping outside of the marriage, it is wrong.
When you got married you exchanged Vows and you made a promise.
If you are not happy leave, it is not fair to you, but more so it is not fair to the other.
How long are you going to live your life unhappy, so when you think about stepping out, think about your family. Why would you want to drag them or your children through your mess.

The Collar
The collar has great meaning. The collar is a sign of ownership. Once around your neck you will feel a bond like no other. This is when your relationship really begins to grow.

The Collar is giving after your first phase of training. The first phase as I call it, can last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. About the same length of time you would think about getting married to someone.
The collar means you are now owned, the collar means you and your Dominant have come to terms and you are now ready to settle in.

If your Dom went to Wal mart and purchased a 6.00 dog collar, you now know how much your worth. If he went to an adult book store and paid 9.99 for a collar, again you now know how much your worth.

The collar is meant to be worn 24/7, so if you are a professional then great care should be taking when he is selecting your collar.

Many 50 shades Dominant have these wal mart collars and will try to give you the collar on the first meeting. This is used as leverage, this gives him more control over you, because you have agreed to submit, and only knowing him in person for a couple of hours.

Last you want to be excepted for who you are, not who the Dominant wants you to be. You want to be loved and cared for, you want communication, you want honesty, you want someone who is going to always put you first no matter what. You want someone who understands you, as a partner and a submissive, you want security, but you want that firm hand as well.
You want a leader who is in control, and stands by his words.

You want a real Dominant.
Image

Vile

Slave Contracts When They Can Be Broken

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, bdsm, Bdsm events, being used, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Discipline, Dominance Through Intimidation, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Guidelines, Inservice Slave, Keeping submissive Isolated, Master, Master And Slave, punish, Punishment, Safe and Sane, slave, Slave Contract, Structure, Submission, submissive, submissive or slave has rights with tags on July 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Slave Contracts are used by two types of Dominants or Masters.
Those with no experience and they are trying to show their authority, and by those who are into extreme ownership.

Contract are used at times to intimidate someone , this happens when you have someone new who knows nothing about the lifestyle. After the signing they do get a different feeling, but it depends on how the slave is being treated. If abused then the slave will feel trapped.
Please refer to the Red Flag post.
If they are being treated as promised, then a great feeling of security. The feeling of being wanted and needed, everything is provided.

The novice Master quickly loses control of reality , now he is in charge, he now owns someone, he now has property. He can now do what ever he sees fit, without caring about someones feelings or emotions, or what the toll is doing to someone.
There is a huge difference between someone who is in control and someone who is controlling, we all know that but when your playing with someones life, it can get pretty bad, on a emotional level.

So as a Slave you do have certain rights , if you singed a contract, in the contract the Master said he would take care of you, Physically and Emotionally . If all of your needs are not being met you have the right to void the contract.
I found this below and I wanted to share

Bea Amor, Yahoo Contributor Network
Sep 18, 2008

You have the right to feel safe.

You have this right irrespective or whether you are submissive or slave. You have the choice as a slave to choose someone who will make you feel safe as this is your sole choice and you need never be in a position where fear is all you know. If you are, this means you have no one to blame but yourself for not choosing the right dominant and for not leaving when you find that this is his or her style of dominance. If you are in a position where you are being held against your will, you need to find a way of escape or indicating distress at the first available opportunity.

You have the right to your emotions and feelings.

As a Slave you have a right to your own feelings and to express them. It does not matter whether they are positive or negative, they need to be discussed whenever they happen for you. Submission does not work in the absence of communication. As a slave you have no right to withhold this from your master or mistress. That person cannot control your life and make good decisions that will not harm you if you do not share the feelings you are feeling.

You have the right to expect happiness in life.

Remember that you chose this lifestyle because you weren’t happy with people who did not know how to handle your submission? Remember that you discovered great joy when you found out that you are not just needy or codependent? You have the right to enjoy this lifestyle and feel all the joy you are getting. It took guts to admit your submission and you are allowed to pick the fruits of honesty.

You have the right to have input in a relationship.

You have the right to communicate openly and honestly and to have say in any relationship – a relationship by definition is a two way street and should never be one sided. You need to make sure that you make your needs known and that you make sure that you are always present in the relationship. Slaves also have this right but they exercise the right when they choose a dominant or master or mistress. Your needs, desires and wants should be discussed in detail before any collar is placed around your neck.

You have the right to belong.

As a Slave you finally can exercise this right. You are now in a family of people who feel the same way you do and who understand who and what you are. You will belong to that special dominant soon or may already belong to someone. Slaves and Slave alike both have that right.

You have the right to be loved and to love.

You have the right to be loved for your submission and to love the person who will control your life and use you to serve them. Love is something that happens in most D/s relationships contrary to what you might have heard. Love also makes you submission bloom. Remember that slaves sometimes have different ideas of what love looks like. They might want someone who humiliates and hurts them and does objectify them. To them that might show love. Never look down on what others perceive as love and celebrate the differences.

You have the right to be healthy.

I would love to change this to you have a duty to be healthy. Health is a requirement for slaves and this is not negotiable. You have to make sure that you are in a healthy relationship and that you do not get abused. If you are, the entire community will rally to your aid should you request it.public

Vile

BDSM And Mental Health

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anxiety, Argue, Arianna, BBW, BDSM Hypnosis, Collar, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Depression, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Honesty, Humiliation, Hypnosis, Lie, predators, Protocol, Rules, sadist, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights, sucking cock, sucking dick on July 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

While it is true there are many who are Slave and Submissive’s in the lifestyle who do not suffer from any type of depression, anxiety, or anything else. It has been my experience over the past two decades that well over half of those I have met have falling under what I am going to speak about.

Before Arianna met me she had been with a couple of Dominants who were abusive, one more physical than the other. The one who was the oldest was more mental abuse, screaming yelling, keeping her up for hours at a time. While the other was more mental, he was the one I called the Hypno Dom.

He is local and uses hypnosis to lure his victims in. Now Hypnosis does not work with everyone, I know because I went to see one once before to try and stop smoking

On the other hand hypnosis does work on some, if the mindset is right. Picking those who are submissive and knowing one could have problems, or maybe even show signs of being lonely. I even consulted a couple of well known Dominants in the area, and it was pretty much Wow that sucks huh.
Well when it comes to rape, or really hurting someone physically to me is a huge deal. Arianna had taking a couple of good beatings from him before she caught on.

I mentor a submissive who lives in another country, and she has improved 1000 times over since we first met, and it was mainly just staying in touch and giving advice when she asked.
So she emailed me about this Dominant who was into mental sadism , I was thinking like wow really? Okay so I contacted him, and I asked if he knew she suffered from anxiety and depression? His answer was no.
So he was going to session with her not knowing anything about her or her mental state..

It is no secret that Arianna had a break down not long after we had met, it was something that was a long time coming, and things were just piling up, and it was like a Volcano.

I do try and make all of Arianna’s appt with her, and yesterday was one, and as the Doctor walked out to welcome Arianna, she looked and said oh your here. Yes I am I thought.
So there were a few changes, and I asked a thousand questions. I wanted to know why, how, what for, and why again. Yea she loves me.

Her doctor knows of our lifestyle as well, we had never come right out and said anything but I am sure she knows what the collar is around Ariannas neck.
I forget what was said but she made the comment that rules and structure were good to have in a home.

I am not going to go down a long list of medications, but I just want to touch on a few things.
If someone is taking medication for depression you as the Dominant need to know why, the same with Anxiety . How long have they been on medication?
At what age did they start? What was the family upbringing like? What was school like? You need to know the submissive inside out ,and then outside in.

So what if this Mental sadist was to of had a session with this Submissive who is bipolar, suffers from depression, and anxiety, not having a clue about her mental state. Lets say he started off playing some mind fucking games, moving into a little pain, all while she is bound, gagged, and blindfolded.
Do you really think he was going to care about the aftermath . The same with the Hypno Dom, who preys on weak women…

Before I say anything else, not every submissive , or slave suffers from anything, there are those who wake up perfectly normal. There are those who do not need to see doctors. To those I say you are very lucky.

Above is the abuse I have been talking about for so long. If you meet a Dominant and he is not asking these question, you are not going to volunteer any information in fear of rejection. If he is not asking questions wanting to know the real you, and he is just interested in your kinks, or demanding you call him Sir. Yea you know.

Although you want to share your life, you do not want to spill your life out in one sitting, this can also make you a target. You should however share information about any medications your on and why you are taking them, how long you have been taking them, and why.

Once I learned about Arianna, I did have a little help as well, that was her journals I read, it took me over 8 hrs to read everything. The training plan I had in mind prior was much more strict , I probably would of seemed more distant in someways. I was not looking to hurt anyone mentally or physically, I was looking for a partner and slave.

When you first meet a Dominant and the first couple of days are just sexual, and he is not trying to get to know you as a person, do you really think he has your best interest in mind?

Here is the number one problem this is to those who are new. You believe anything your told,and you feel you do not have the right to ask questions.

I know when I first meet someone I want to know them inside out, because if you dont and you have a real intense session, and the Dominant dose something to cause a break down, the first words out of his mouth is , Well I didn’t know.. You did not tell him, or he did not ask, there is the lack of communication maybe on both parts, it is not always the Doms fault.

A submissive told me the other day she had suffered from depression but no longer took her meds, she said she was cured and no longer needed them. She came to this conclusion on her own, and the Dominant who I take is a Doctor agreed with her. If he was not a doctor he would of taking different steps I would think. You cannot play with someones well being, you cannot play with someones mind, or their emotions.

All it really takes is you sharing very important information, you the submissive has the right to say no I am not going to do that, or you are not going to do that to me. You have that right. You have the right to have what was promised, you have the right to walk away when you are being abused or lied to.

If the Dominant your with does not care about your safety , then he is not the one for you. If the Dominant does not care about your well being then he is not the one for you.

Move on…

love

Vile

Asking To Be Released

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, anger, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, betrayed, blow job, Change, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Dating, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Honesty, Lies, masochist, Master, oral sex, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, submissive or slave has rights, sucking cock, sucking dick, Total Submission on November 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

You as a slave enter a relationship in hopes of being accepted for who you are, and are promised your needs would be met. It is very important when entering a new relationship that you be upfront about everything, and what you expect out of the relationship. Where you want to be in a month, three months a year and so on.

When you first meet a new Dominant you should take great care with the amount of information you give. You do not want to spill your whole life out on the table over your first meeting. Somethings are meant to be private until you really feel like you are truly getting to know someone.

Information such as a abusive childhood, maybe you suffer from depression, maybe you were raped. So the information you share is very important but on a need to know basis.

I am not sure what the reason is but most slaves just want to sit down and open their book of life when they first meet someone new. This could really have a bad effect on the new Dominant. One being to much information, he could prey on what weaknesses you have shared, or two it could be to over whelming, and he is thinking man fuck all of this.

Another thing that really bothers me is a lot of slaves think they have to fuck on their first meeting, maybe trying to prove their submission, or the willingness to please. This is so far from the truth, you just need to be you, be the person you are. No one can make you submit until you are ready.

In the vanilla world when you meet someone , you spend time getting to know each other, you talk on the phone, go out to eat, the movies. So why would you think a D’s or M’s relationship is any different.

BDSM is not about sex . BDSM is not about you having to spread to prove who and what you are. BONDAGE DISCIPLINE SADO, AND MASOCHISM. No where in those four words does it say you have to spread or get on your knees.

In those four words the key word is Discipline , most do not fall under the last two words at all. So lets put the Bondage and Discipline together , again it does not say anything about sucking cock.

You the Slave are really looking for very little out of a relationship. Your looking for security, someone who will take care of your needs, someone who cares about your thoughts, your emotions, and someone who understands you. Your looking for structure in your life, your looking for stability in your life, and most of all your looking for someone who is not abusive, and someone who is in full control.

A Dominant is in full control of his life public and private. We set the standards and like me my standards are very high. You should avoid the Dominant who is full of drama, the dominant who cannot control his anger, the dominant who cannot control his emotions, and then the dominant with the ex problems.  A Dominant leads by example, that is how our respect is earned our respect is earned by all of the above I have mentioned.

I understand where a submissive or slave is coming from more so from those who are single. Most slaves are very needy, and being needy does not make you weak. The needy factor is a natural feeling, but you need to learn how to control those feelings until you are sure you are with the right one.

I myself prefer someone who is needy, someone who is depends on me. I am an attention hound. I like being the center of attention. Most Dominants I believe prefer someone who is needy, someone who is open, and someone who is able to communicate.

We are all different, we all have different needs. You notice I have not said anything about wants. I could careless about your wants because if your needs are met, and met on a daily basis guess what ? You do not have any wants.

I am far from perfect and I will admit I do make mistakes, but any mistake I make is far and few between. I think on a rational level, I look at both the choices and consequences. I look at every angel and everything that could go right or wrong, then I make a decision on my next move.

You as a slave have rights, you as a submissive has rights. You have the right to make demands if your needs are not being met. You have the right to speak up. Because if you do not speak up, you will spend the majority of your time on your knees or on your back.

Why am I sharing all of this information with you? Because I myself have been there, I have used, I have played on emotions just to get my dick sucked. I have played on emotions just to get some pussy and it is not very hard. I got what I wanted washed my hands and walked out. So now I am trying to make things right, in my own way I suppose. Emotions that is a very powerful weapon that can and will be used against you and any problems you have shared, a very powerful tool.

The Collar, the collar is to me very symbolic it has more of a meaning that a wedding ring. Accepting a collar you are submitting , you are giving yourself as a whole. So you have to have a clear understanding of what you are doing and what you are going to be giving up.

It is very important to ask questions, if your answer is not clear ask the same question in a different format, until you get the answer you need. You need to have a clear understanding where your new Dominant is coming from, because if you do not ask, and down the road you now have questions it could be to late because he is not going to change. I myself would never change.

If you are made promises from the beginning , you are explained how the relationship is going to work and what is expected, what your role is going to be then you need to make sure that path is followed. A Dominant cannot change rules midstream to fit his needs or wants.

You have the right to ask to be released, and you explain why your asking, and also explain that the relationship is not what was promised from the beginning.

Then comes the guilt trip, now everything is going to fall on your plate, it is your fault the relationship did not work. You are not a true submissive or slave. The relationship fell apart because of you and only you.

Well that statement could be true, but who was the one in charge? who was the one who was suppose to be in full control ? Who was the one who wanted to lead and you follow ? Who was the one who promised your needs would be met no matter what ? Because your relationship ends does not mean it was your fault.

If a man is abusive and he hits you, he is going to promise never to do it again, but he will, again and again and again, but he will continue to promise and he will promise to change.

Do not let yourself be abused, be it mental or physical.

If you are told one thing and down the road the Dominant wants to change things up. Lets say he told you he wanted a one on one relationship. Now he comes up and says I would like to have a threesome or even move someone else in. This is not what you were told from the start. In my eyes this is something that was planned all along, just waiting for the right moment. You have the right to refuse. Your goal is to always be number one, in my eyes anyway. If the topic of moving someone else in he had better have a good explanation as to why,and why he thinks it is needed. I believe most slaves do not want to share but do so just to please. I would not want that kind of guilt on me.

Shrugs just my thoughts and opinion.

Image

Vile