Archive for the submissive submission Category

How Do You Know If Your Submissive

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Safety, Collar, submissive submission with tags , , , , , , , on January 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile
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In BDSM relationships, the bottom or submissive takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role. The other partner is the top or dominant.

A bottom can be subjected to acts such as flogging, servitude, or humiliation and can be physically restrained by bondage, which can itself inflict pain. This can include feminization as a punishment or as humiliation. A person who relinquishes control for a large percentage of his or her day-to-day life to a top, or who submits within a formal set of rules and rituals, is sometimes referred to as a slave. The top is then often called the Master or Mistress.

The term bottom originates from a more general use of the word, especially in the gay male community, to mean receptive partner during anal sex

That has to be the million dollar question , How do I know if I am submissive or not? It is  Unfortunate but you are the only one who know that answer and I suppose you have a lot of soul searching to get done.

Many are what I call people pleasers , you have the need to please and you say yes or agree to something even if you do not want to, in fear of hurting someones feelings or not being liked . I call these people the politically correct people people pleasers. Many come with a low self esteem , and there is really no reason for it and often this was the way you were raised, so yes in a sense one could confuse submission with just being a people pleaser. Although the two may seem the same they are really totally different.

Again some deep soul searching is going to be needed. Do you have the need and desire to serve or do you need because you just like to please , I see the two as being different. Do you have the need to surrender control , I did not say want I said need. Do you have the need to have rules put in place, the need to have to answer to someone, the need to kneel.

One of the first things I tell a New Dominant is to take care of all his problems , be it drama , bills , family and the worst are Ex’s the Ex has no place in a new relationship , nor does drama from an Ex. The relationship can be doomed before it even starts.

Get your life in order we all have problems that do come up but we handle them at first sight. It is not fair to someone if you bring someone into your life and your riddled with problems and drama. If you are not willing to get your life in order Submissive or Dominant you will not devote the time when it comes to a relationship.

After you come to terms , after you have the answers , your submissive or not your ready to move forward. Never let someone else tell you if your submissive or not, you are the only one who knows that answer.

Dominants come in different flavors , we are all different so this is something you must consider when you are trying to determine what type of Dominant your looking for.

Are you looking for a 24/7 relationship or are you just looking for something once or twice a month ? Are you wanting to be collared ? If that is your goal then something long term would be the idea.

Are you looking for a Daddy Dom ? Maybe your not looking for a Daddy Dom maybe someone who will enforce a few rules to help keep you in line. Maybe someone who is strict has rules and protocols.Are you looking for a Dominant who is into pain ? Maybe you just need the structure , are you looking for kink as well ? The list goes on and on it is you who has to decide where you want to be in a relationship.

Only you and only you knows who and what you are , again never let someone tell you that you are something , your submissive or your a Baby girl , or a slave, it is you who has to figure out those questions.

Last make sure you are accepted for the person you are. You do not have to change for anyone , to be yourself is your goal. If someone wants to change you , then move on because your better than that……..