I am not sure if a Submissive is capable of giving up full control, I know a Bottom would not think about doing so. I do think under the right circumstances a Submissive could cross that line into the Slave hood.
I have lived with a few Submissive’s the relationships I knew were not going to work. It was mainly to fill a void at that moment and time. We all need someone, and at times we make mistakes by settling for less.
Maybe if I wanted to really invest time while I was with a submissive things may have turned out different, but I was not feeling that interject. Although you can train someone to fit your needs, if the other is willing.
Once I put my foot down and finely came to realize that I needed more. I stopped fucking around. I cannot tell you how many Slaves or who thought they were Slaves I met. You can tell after the first ten minutes or so if your going to click. Okay we are not clicking so what do I take her home, fuck her and send her on her way, nah we will finish dinner then say hey it was great but lets just stay friends. This is how I programmed my mind. I refused to settle for less . I was going to find the one.
A Submissive or Bottom has the right to say no, and the Dominant has to respect that word. After all his partner is just a submissive and not a Slave. The word NO is not in Arianna’s vocabulary , although she does have the right to speak up when she has a concern and I do value her opinion.
A couple of months ago I was talking to this Daddy Dom at a local Mast group, this is when he told me he was not the type of Dom she needed. He said she was way to needy. I said welcome to the world of BDSM buddy.
Most who are Submissive or Slaves are needy, very needy. This is something you have to except if you wish to be in a relationship. Being needy is not a bad thing nor does it make you any less of a woman. Finding the right one who is able to be there and fill that gap is important.
Just as I told this Daddy Dom, if you really care about your submissive, then you should be able to Adapt. If you really care then you should be able to fill that void. Well she is into pain and I am not. Again if you really care you as a Dominant should want and be able to adapt. You must be willing to put as much into the relationship as your submissive is, if not you will fail.
Think about being a Slave, A Slave who has been looking for sometime, and just running into road blocks, making the wrong connections. I know myself even as a Dominant I would of felt pretty lost, I did while living with those who I was not really into, a very lost feeling.
So a Slave enters her new Masters Home, sits her bad by the door, her life is about to change and change forever. As soon as she closed that door behind her she left all rights on the other side. The slave no longer has any say so. The slave can no longer watch TV when she wants to, cannot shower until told. Told what to wear, Told where she is allowed to sit or where to stand. What time to go to bed. Your sitting at the table working out the final details of what it is going to be like and what is expected. Either you agree or you pick your bag up and walk back out
Most of the time I let Arianna prepare dinner, she will tell me what she wants to cook, although I do not complain about food, because while in Korea and Thailand I ate some pretty fucked up shit, so nothing really taste bad. I may change mine up from time to time. The other night Arianna wanted chicken breast, fine you bake yours I want mine fried. No questions, no buts that is how it was prepared.
I cannot even imagine how a Slave feels once she walks through that door and closes it. The Slave now has to adapt to her new Masters ways. The Slave has to Adapt to rules, Protocols. The slave has to adapt to a brand new environment.
She asked me how will I know what to do. My answer was just watch, listen and observe, and do exactly what your told. I also told her I want you to be able to anticipate my needs, that was a statement she did not understand. She worried about it for months, but everything just fell into place. Today I seldom have to ask for anything because it is already done for me. Watching and Observing.
One of the first things I did was introduce her to people I knew in the lifestyle, as a reference, as I told her from the beginning I would. After that I cut off all the outside world except for her work and family. The trained had begun. Eight months Arianna was not even allowed on the furniture, eight months. Something I need to more often that I did before was feed her. have her set on the floor at the table and feed her as I eat. She loves that feeling, or more so being chained to the table while eating.
Anticipating my needs. I ask Arianna what are you thinking about I do several times a day. I want to know where her thoughts are. A lot of the time she will reply sucking your cock.
Anticipating my needs, my night clothes are out when I get home, water by my bed. drying me off when I step out of the shower. Filling my glass without having to ask. Spreading when told to, it is about my needs.
I was drinking coffee the other day at the kitchen table and I got to thinking I have this fine ass bitch sleeping naked in my bed, I need to hit that. I walked in undressed, crawled on top spread her legs fucked her dumped my load and got off, and she loved it, she loved the fact that I just came in and used her for my pleasure.
Arianna is needy probably the neediest slave I have ever met, but I get so much in return The word needy never really crosses my mind. I knew she was needy when I first met her, I knew she needed to be micromanaged when I first met her. I knew everything upfront, I excepted her and I knew I had to follow through.
I cannot imagine what a Slave would feel like once that door closed. It has to be pretty scary. A very lost feeling, very unsure. I am not sure at what point the reality kicks in, I have never asked arianna that question.
Us as the Dominant there are only a few things we need to do, to make sure the relationship grows. We must stay honest, we must live by the truth, but most of all stay consistent , and we must follow through with what we say. If we do those few things and we stay in line. The Slave will follow, the Slave will drop to their knees without question, the slave will spread without question.
It took sometime for Arianna to stop second guessing me, to stop worrying about things. Today things have change for the most, at times she still wants to second guess, she still worries, I cannot change that so its on her, but I have seen a vast improvement.
Trust does not happen over night, it takes time to build. I am not talking a week a month maybe not even six months. I would imagine it would depend on how many times the slave has been burnt. Trust is everything.
Last but not least. The slave has to know there are consequences to their actions. The slave also has to know you will follow through with any punishment. If you do not follow through as you stated, you the Dominant will begin to lose control, once you lose that control. Kick the dirt and move on because you will not be able to regain.