Archive for the TPE Category

Training On Different Levels

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://dominationsubmission.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/bdsm-training-methodology-and-techniques/, Master And Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, TPE, Training Arianna with tags , , , , , , , , on March 7, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was just reading a Blog By Master P.

https://dominationsubmission.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/bdsm-training-methodology-and-techniques/

The topic was BDSM Training-Methodology and Techniques
Before you start ranting I am not totally disagreeing with him but I find to have a different opinion one a few topics.
thekinkyworldofvile.wordpress.com is based one a Master , Slave relationship, it is based on a owner property relationship , it is based on a TPE relationship , Total Power Exchange. If you put these all together I control everything and while I do listen I have the final say.
Again I agree with Most of what Master P is talking about but we are talking about two different relationships. Dominant , submissive , Master And Slave and there by definition is a clear difference.
Behavior modification is changing ones way of thinking, in a good scenario this can be done willingly or forced that would be totally breaking someones will.
Although most training is done to fit the Masters needs there are other things we look at , changing bad habit into good ones.
I did train for service , I did so because I have protocols that I want followed when company is over. I have protocols for private and public, I have different stages of protocols and each one is used depending on the setting.
So I was just thinking about why men cheat be it vanilla , D’s and I do know Doms who cheat , hell Ive known Master who cheated.
So when finding a partner why not find someone you can train to make you complete.
I am in no way saying Master P is wrong with what he is saying it just proves that we are all different in the way we think , act, and train. Our train of thought is different , more so our needs.
Although a Master puts his slave first she is there to fit his needs and wants and the Master insures the Slaves needs are met on a daily basis.
When looking for a partner you should take your time and find someone you can connect with on every level in life. You should be able to communicate on every level and be able to speak freely and openly.
Training is something I take very serious and now I will only take on such a task if it is to be a long term. I also make it known it will be a slow process it is not something where I meet you on Monday and Tuesday we both jump head first..
Putting a plan together is needed before hand , what worked for the last slave will not work for the next.The same with rules although my protocols have never changed over the years if anything I have become more strict.
With the submissive , the submissive accepts and strives for submission a slave strives for Obedience.

Submission Vs Slave

Best Slave Training if your a new Dominant , or submissive , slave there is a ton of useful information. There is not one website or book you can base your relationship on but you can take bits and pieces and come up with a plan.
In my opinion, a submissive retains freedom of choice and a slave gives her freedom of choice to her Master. A submissive makes a choice to give her submission in a limited fashion, for a defined period of time and under certain conditions. A submissive can have a long-term relationship with a Master, but still retains certain controls. However, many are satisfied with casual role-play without any long-term goals. Training may or may not be involved between a Dominant and a submissive.
A submissive often has a list of conditions, rules, and limits that a Dominant is required to agree to before entering a session or relationship. These conditions, rules and limits usually define time, place and activity.
Slavery calls for a higher level of commitment and of serving, obeying and pleasing than submission. Slavery is the complete commitment of a slave’s body, mind, soul, and spirit. She submits to the will of her Master. His choices become her choices. Obedience is a major focus in her life.
Being a slave means you are willing to be molded to fit her Master’s needs and to serve him. A slave is re-socialized and re-educated by her Master to serve, obey and please him. Her attention is on his happiness.

Submission Vs Slave

The Master makes his slave his number one priority , even when it comes to friends and family. The Master insures the slaves needs are taken care of , even on a emotional and mental state.
While in some D’s relationship as stated above there may or may not be any type of training , what is important is you have found your place in life and your relationship.
Some thought my training strategy was a little strict , or maybe even a little unorthodox, but I am me and I was not going to change who or what I was . I did just that before and I failed..
Once you give your word you cannot go back or try to change anything when it comes to rules or protocols.
Again Master P is not wrong with what he is saying but we are talking about 2 different lifestyles.
I will give you a peak into Airanna’s mind she had dropped me off at a store and I told her to circle and pick me up when I was ready. She was texting with someone and she explained she was in service, this is just one example but her train of thought.
I enjoy the training , I love watching the transformation, I love creating but this comes with a cost, and that cost is Arianna and her well being is my responsibility, The decisions I make greatly effect two and not one. Yes this is where choices and consequences come into play…
It is the slave that has to adapt to the Masters way, if your having problems then sit back and think of what could be improved on
Vile

The Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Slave Is High Maintenance, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Dominant, emotional, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Inservice Slave, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental BDSM, Micromanagement, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Punishment, Slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, TPE, Training Arianna, Vile Woods on FaceBook, viledesires62@aol.com on February 22, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I never pressured Arianna to call me Sir or Master , I waited because such an honor is clearly earned.

I loved the steps I took in building a relationship, I loved watching the relationship grow, but I also knew in order for it to be successful I had to be who and what I was.

I wanted Arianna to ask , and I waited for that question. Will you be my Master, I knew then I was on the right path.

Although we spoke of training and what our goals were , yes hers and mine , I did not go into any great detail and only answering questions when they were asked.

By earning ones respect you get so much more than trying to demand submission. You can demand submission but your not getting the whole picture nor are you entering a true relationship with any meaning.

A slave is not weak a slave is strong in mind body and soul, however a Slave does have different needs and goals, along with a different type of structure.

I had a strict 90 day plan in hand and I began training without a word. The one thing that made me stop and think was there was absolutely no resistance this was something I had never experienced. Today our relationship requires only daily maintenance , as with any other relationships just on a different level.

There are many definitions today when we try to define a D’s or M’s relationship we are all different and we have different needs.

Although Arianna may be my wife, best friend and partner she is property first, she wears a collar 24/7 that shows my ownership, I can proudly say it has been over 3 years she she has been collard and it has not been off one time. She wears her collar proudly and yes this includes work. Before entering a relationship that was a strict requirement of mine.

Many today do not take the collar serious , it is worn during play , when out to local functions, or when company comes over that is the only time it has any real meaning. If that is your lifestyle that is fine it fits you…

Although we train and we train to fit our needs  , we also have to take the slave into consideration. We need to set goals, we need to insure our property fully understands what is about to happen. We need to insure their needs are met on all levels, many would like to think it is a one way street but that is so far from the truth.

I myself take the collar very serious , it is a sign of ownership, it is a sign of devotion, it is a sign of submission, again do not take this wrong this is only my opinion.

Master/slave

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Respecting ones limits be it physically or mentally , knowing the limitations , knowing just how far you can go and still remain in control. Fixing problems before they become problems.

The feeling of security , the feeling of being wanted , the feeling of being needed, but most of all the feeling of being able to trust and respect.

In the beginning when the relationship is defined , what is expected , the rules and protocols, once everything is in place we as Masters cannot change things up a year later, many times going back on your word can be a deal breaker. There are times when something may need to be changed but I feel it needs to be explained in detail how it would benefit the home.

Training is changing the thought process , training is changing habit and replacing them. If you sit and think if done right you can create the perfect partner, that is the easy part , the hard part comes with maintaining it.

The training would include verbal , physical , mental, emotional , and at times rituals this is where structure comes into place. In my Master , slave or Owner , Property structure plays a huge part as with rituals , rituals become rules, protocols become rules.

Although I do feel punishment is needed that is not my main focus, I do not sit around and wait on Arianna to break a rule, she knows when she breaks a rule, which I can say has only happened once in 3.5 years. Positive reinforcement and communication plays a huge roll in any relationship.

Breaking someone to the point of feeling worthless , constant humiliation , abuse mental and physical , remember if you break it you have to fix it. I am more than sure the end result is not something you would want in a lifetime partner.

Training comes in a few different areas , be it service , sexual,  how to speak in public what to wear , how to talk , how to communicate with people or who not to communicate, who to hug or who you shake hands with ,how much do you want to control? We live a Owner Property relationship , a consensual relationship , consensual being the key word. Make no mistake I run and control everything in my home.

Just make sure who ever you are considering make sure they have your best interest in mind..

 

 

 

Giving Up Control

Posted in Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Manipulation, Married Dominant, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Protocols, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

My favorite new question is , What Are You Going To Do With Your One And Only Life.

 

Giving up control is a huge step, it is a step that should be given much thought , and the one deciding factor is how much control do you want to relinquish.

Once you have decided everything it is time to look for the right Dominant. Dominants come in many different flavors. Some are gentle and not so strict, some are very strict. Some enjoy inflicting pain while others do not, some punish while others do not and yes some even lie and I am going to give a very good example….

Giving up control is no easy task, the one thing you have to look at when speaking with a new Dominant is if your going to be able to comply with his demands, his rules and so on. This is not a decision that should be made at the time you are talking about everything, this is something you should mull over……

When talking to the new Dom you need to know what questions to ask, is he a 24/7 Dominant , or is he just a bedroom Dominant ? Is he just into the pain side of things ? Questions are important because if you do not ask you could find yourself in a bad situation.

Training your Baby Girl your submissive or your slave is actually a form of behavior Modification , I have spoken about this before. Changing ones thought process, habits, dress, talk, walk everything. When I was younger I did not really understand the process , nor did I care I found it to be much more work than I was willing to take part in.

It is possible for a D’s relationship to just fall into place with no formal training at all… You have to find your own fit, your own kink, your needs.

My check list , we all need a check list when we are looking for a partner in the lifestyle, I have spoken about this before. Once you put it on paper it should be LAW.

I did however change my stance on the type of relationship I was willing to enter, but as far as my needs I did not bend.  Arianna explained she needed a Micromanaged relationship, someone who could keep her in check, keep things flowing in the right direction.

Living a D’s or M’s lifestyle is different for each, the definition is different, I get it. Everyone should be happy and be in that place, that comfort zone , the feeling of security.

I am far from insecure but I do need that feeling of security, I need that closeness , the communication, and yes the control. I want to control my world and my surroundings. I keep everything in check.

My list I showed when meeting prospective slaves was not really that long, but to some it was not attainable. When explaining my list if the word NO or I cant came up , it was simple the conversation was over , I refused to bend because if I did I knew down the road I would not be happy..

There were things I was looking for in a slave, there were specific things I was looking for. It really had nothing to do with looks , it had nothing to do with what kind of job they had. It was the person , the personality ,  how sincere they were about the lifestyle , how sincere they felt about who they wanted to be and needed to be. With me personality plays a huge role , if we can talk to each other and not at each other then we are good. How serious they were about their training , how entering a relationship would benefit us both ?

Giving up control is something that happens over time, the more you communicate , spending a great deal of time together, taking the time to learn about each other outside of BDSM . As a submissive the closer you get the more control you are naturally going to give, and this will happen without thought..

The only factor that really comes into play is you giving up control to someone who has your best interest in mind. Someone who is going to dedicate the time to spend with you.

Submission is not a game , to some Dominants submission is a game such as the part time Dominants I spoke about on my last post, the weekend warrior, the married Dom cheating on his wife. It should not be fair when you the submissive are the only one taking part in such a journey.

The game is using you, humiliating you , hurting you physically and mentally , ignoring your needs without a care , and you sit there alone wondering what you did wrong. Your relationship is based on you sucking cock , sending videos, and pictures so the so called Dom can get their rocks off.

I was reading in a forum not long ago about Red Flags, how many red flags do you allow when you first meet a new Dominant? I was surprised at the answers , some were 2 some were3 even up to 5 flags before ending the relationship. My thinking is any type of flag , be it something not adding up or you catch someone in a lie. If someone lies to you once they will do it again.  A flag is a flag.

Another Scenario that takes place , prior to entering a relationship you think everything is flowing in the right direction.. Then you find once you have committed yourself things begin to change. Things are not what they were , now it seems you are in more of a vanilla relationship than a D’s or M’s. and when you question , you get well I am in a slump or everything will be okay.

As you read in the Part Time Dominant , being a Dominant requires a great deal of work, it requires one to be consistent , in control, insuring rules and protocols are being followed.

What do you want to do with your one and only Life ? How long do you wait for the relationship you were promised ? How long do you go along with the communication break down ? How long do you endure the abuse in a relationship? Your scared because that is how you were made to feel, your insecure because that is how you were made to feel, your not good enough for anyone else , because that is how you were made to feel.

train

Vile

 

 

 

 

MAsT Kissimmee

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, bdsm, BDSM Education, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, kinkster, kinky, MAST, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Masters And Slaves Together, munchs, slave, Structure, submisive, Submission, TPE, Vile Woods on FaceBook, viledesires62@aol.com on September 13, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not only proud but I am Honored that I have been giving the opportunity to start a New MAsT chapter here in Kissimmee Florida.

This has been a 6 month process but I can assure you it was one worth waiting for.

There are a few things I stand for in life and the lifestyle.

  1. Truth
  2. Honesty
  3. Education in a D’s and M’s relationship.
  4. I am against any type of abuse , be it physical , mental or verbal. This also includes the Dominant being emailed or text and no reply for days.
  5. We all know where I stand when it comes to people who cheat male or female.
  6. Communication can make or break a relationship Lifestyle or vanilla.
  7.  I do not know everything , everyday is a new learning experience , sometimes my mind may wonder off thinking about my past and some of the decisions I have made , and noticed mistakes I made, this makes it possible for me to correct so it does not happen again.
  8. Respecting your Baby girl your submissive your slave , your property.

 

MAsT Core Values

Core Values

Personal Fulfillment

MAsT believes that power exchange relationships can be a valid path to authenticity, self-actualization, and happiness.

Inclusivity

MAsT is open to all adults interested in consensual power exchange relationships.

Diversity

MAsT welcomes people of every sexual and gender identity, race and ethnicity, body type, socio-economic status, physical capability, and religion or spiritual practice (including those with no spiritual beliefs).

Free Association

MAsT’s respect for inclusivity and diversity does not preclude each MAsT chapter from assembling according to the desires of the chapter director, and from determining the criteria for membership or participation in that chapter.

Community Support

MAsT encourages the healthy development and support of power exchange relationships through the sharing of knowledge, experiences, perspectives and ideas among its members.

Mutuality

MAsT believes that the individuals who enter into a power exchange relationship do so as equals and that, as with other types of personal relationships, power exchange participants have an obligation to support the well-being of the relationship and that of those with whom they’ve engaged in such relationships.

Personal Responsibility

MAsT believes that every individual who engages in a power exchange relationship has a primary obligation to their own well-being and is therefore responsible for taking appropriate action if such relationship becomes detrimental to their sense of well-being or is otherwise no longer personally satisfying.

Boundaries

MAsT believes that the protocols created by those in a power exchange relationship apply only to the individuals engaged in that relationship. The individuals in the relationship do not have the right to impose their protocols onto others, and those who are not a part of that relationship have neither the right nor the obligation to participate in such protocols when interacting with the individuals in the relationship.

A  group of people coming together sharing and learning. How awesome is that? A place where everyone is welcome who is interested in a Total Power exchange relationship….

One thing I have noticed in the past five years or so , the community as a whole lacks Education. Most of the functions today is circled around kink. I know my slave and I are active in the local community , we meet for coffee , then dinner and it is over as fast as it started.

Although My next post or blog coming up is about a new Dungeon here in Orlando Florida called The Ninth Circle, a very well structured group..

Much Love

viledesires62@aol.com

Vile

 

Being Masters Slut

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, choices and consequences, communication, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, consequences, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owned property, slave, slut, submissive, Submissive being used, Total Power Exchange, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com on August 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many hate those words , Slut , whore , Bitch , and many more but in our lifestyle to most those are really just pet names.

Each role in the lifestyle is different , each relationship is different , and the way you are treated is different.

Every Master is different , every house is ran different. I myself run a very strict home , but what is so awesome is the way Arianna has adapted to my surroundings , she has giving 150% and 150% 24/7…

Over the years my idea of owning a slave has changed, the way I wanted to train, the protocols I wanted, the control, but most of all the control. Although in the past in other relationships I had pretty much the same one thing always happened. I changed, I let my  feelings get in the way thus losing my control and respect.

About 5 years ago I went on what I will call a short sabbatical , I had a little depression going on or maybe just a lack of caring. I did not want to be around anyone , talk to anyone or see anyone. I needed time to get my life back on track and figure out what I wanted out of life.

I did know the way I was feeling and thinking it would not be fair to bring someone into my mess.. This was the time I had made contact with some people who was in the lifestyle in the Philippines. I had my passport in hand and already landed a job.

I met a slave and we played for about 6 months, I knew it was going no place nor did I want it to, I was still moving, then came the day I found out she was married and I cut all ties. I was not going to be responsible for her family breaking up if there was in fact any hope..

So I was introduced to Arianna and I have told the story more than once. After I first meeting I was intrigued and now I had some serious soul searching to do.

I knew what I wanted and needed it was finding someone who would fit my lifestyle and almost 3 years Later that would be Arianna , and today we continue to grow and expand our relationship as she moves deeper into submission.

I wanted a consensual non consensual relationship , many Dominants told me it would be impossible to find such a slave. I wanted full control, again I was told the same, and in the end all were proven wrong.

In order for me to get what I wanted I had to be willing to give back and many times I am giving back much more.

I am far from the romantic type although there are things I do that shows my appreciation. I am not one to buy gifts or flowers. This has been me for as long as I can remember.

I can tell you from an Owners perspective the Dominant has to keep the frame of mind that his partner is there for his use. Before anything the submissive is owned , they are property , they are there for pleasure and only pleasure. Once you lose that train of thought you the Dominant will lose control and respect. Once you show a different side you cannot go back because that thought is always there….

So as I mentioned I am moving in a different direction. Sometime ago I was asked to do a short story , which I did and it got one comment.
I went deep in my thoughts and while the story may or may not be true, thoughts as such do pass through my mind.
Total control, total usage no questions asked.
The Breaking Of Sabrina was meant to be one of many stories and some day they may come to light, I have not really gave it much thought.

Back on track now when most think about BDSM most see abuse , most see the female or male being abuse. My train of thought is there is such a thing called consensual abuse, consensual usage, consensual ownership.

The Non consensual side is a different story…

Life is full of choices which door are you going to take?

door

Your Slave Is Your Property

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Adrenaline, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, Consistency, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Punishment, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.

This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.

Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.

Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved.  What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.

At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.

I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.

So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.

Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.

What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?

There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.

Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.

As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.

It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/07/26/observations/

Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.

Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.

Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.

The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.

You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.

Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.

How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.

It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.

If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.

Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?

If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.

A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….

So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.

Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.

Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.

Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.

trust

Vile

BDSM With No Emotion

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, choices and consequences, codependency, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, fifty shades of grey, https://ncsfreedom.org/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, NCSF, owned property, Owned Slave, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, sane and consensual, sex slave, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, viledesires62@aol.com on July 12, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I love comments , I love what others have to say, I love hearing their point of view, I love it when others share feeling and their thoughts. How ever if you are just going to Bash me your comment will be deleted. I am far from a professional writer and most of my post are done in 10 or 15 time slots in the early am of the hours.
Enough about that , from time to time I will get a comment or a question from a younger Dominant who is up and coming , while it is true we all have to start somewhere , that starting point is the beginning of a new foundation in our life…..

The early steps we take will be our paths for many years and we do not get the opportunity to change it that often , and if we do it really takes a lot of work, mainly because you pretty much have to reconstruct your whole thought process. Wow that is pretty deep coming from me.

Maybe sometimes we get caught up in life and screwed over enough we lose our emotions, we lose feelings or the ability to have feelings towards someone in a relationship. Maybe trust comes into play , maybe your not capable of feeling any longer, maybe your not able to trust.

No emotions no feelings when entering a relationship is not fair to someone who attempting to build a lasting relationship. This is where communication comes in and sharing your point of view, maybe leaving no hope of building something or maybe there may be light at the end of the tunnel.

Arianna and I met a Master some time ago who was or is looking for a consensual , non consensual relationship. We met up for lunch one day and he literally drilled us for a couple of hours wanting to know about the foundation of our relationship and what we did to make it work.

One thing I found odd is he would not really share much of his thoughts on how he saw his relationship , mainly because I think it was really dark and maybe I am better off not knowing. I would not of judged or thought his way was wrong , maybe I would of even tried to understand.

There are so many different levels of submission , and the same for those who are Dominants or Masters, from mild and no control , to the most , unthinkable acts one could think of.

I know from experience being a sadist at one time , very few sadist are capable of developing any feelings or emotions. While I liked I did not want to feel , because if I felt I would not of wanted to inflict pain and at that time inflicting pain was a need.

To date I am living the dream, it may seem like I brag a lot but it is really not bragging. I want to show others in the lifestyle your relationship can be the same if not better.

A Question that came up on the topic of Sex and submission was …

Again I’m pretty new to the scene so sorry if this is rude, but I thought in TPE the decisions were up to the Dom. Why would a third need to win over Arianna, doesn’t she consider your word final?

This is an awesome question and and yes in my home I have the final say the final word case closed. Looking deeper though if you have never known or felt love just ask me how deep my love for Arianna is. My last thought and night and my first breath when my eyes open.
Arianna is my responsibility and she not only needs me to make the decisions she trust me enough to know I will. What ever I decide effects both of us, and the outcome of any decision I make could make or break.

Talks of a Triad is still on going , and we are still giving it great consideration but it would really have to be someone special. You have to be careful when you bring someone into your home, because what you have built could come tumbling down out of control and no way to fix it.
While I could just bring someone else in and say to Arianna this is our new slave take it or leave it. While Arianna is my slave she does have the right to leave at anytime. This falls under the consensual side of things, and our relationship is 100% consensual….

Question….

1. Does there have to be an emotional component to a Master / Slave relationship? I’m very turned on by the idea of owning a woman and using her sexually as I like. However, I don’t feel like I could love such a woman, and I’d prefer she not love me either. The few women I’ve loved in my life were pretty amazing as-is and needed no correction from me, I’d have gained no pleasure from disciplining them. The desire to train a slave and punish her for disobeying is a purely sexual one. Is that unheard of in the BDSM world? Are there subs who get off sexually on subbing without expecting a dom to take care of their emotional needs, and who don’t expect him to be all sweet and romantic?

So your thinking a consensual non-consensual relationship which would be made during the negotiation process. Both agree or the slave would agree you can do anything to me without question or without future negotiation. That truly takes a lot of trust.

The answer is yes there are those out there dominant and submissive who are seeking relationships where there would be no feelings involved at all, purely sexual.
Here is where the problem lays, most but not all who are submissive to have a codependency problem to a certain extent, some more than others, then you speak about a slave. A slave requires a great deal of care, not only physically but mentally . While it is possible to have the type of relationship your looking for, you would have to do it without any type of connection between the two of you, there would not be a bond, nor would the slave truly be able to trust, she could trust enough to play but not trust enough to fully let go.
Training takes a lot of time and dedication , if you do not live together training is nearly impossible because you really have no control. You as the Master have to set down and define who and what you are, you have to know what you need and what you need out of your slave. Being upfront about your intentions, being open about your thoughts…

3. I am really, really turned off by the idea that the sub is really in control of everything, and that this all secretly for her benefit. That the dom’s job is to orchestrate every sexual encounter to be totally mind-blowing for her like he’s choreographing a Broadway show. No thanks. I want a woman who genuinely wants to be my property, a toy I use how I want, when I want (within her limits, obviously). So many submissives claim that the pride they feel in pleasing their master is all the pleasure they need, but then go on to talk about lovely spankings and reassuring hands. Really? Is he your master or your slave? Does he rub your feet too? 😀
Meanwhile I read some of your slave’s blog and, wow. You have her trained so damn well. That post where you face-fucked her til she puked and then you made her clean it up was the hottest, rawest thing I’ve read in so long. You are the first dom I’ve encountered who trained a sex slave that actually does what men want. None of that dainty Fifty Shades stuff, riding crops and silk blindfolds. How did you do it? I mean was she always into throat-fucking and painal or did you push her there? If you did it, you should write a book, man; you will make a million dollars. If you didn’t, where did you find her?!?

You know you speak of your turned off by the idea that a submissive is in control , and in most cases this is true. The Dominant will want something but will cave in under pressure. So the Dominant is in fact in control until the submissive Barks and the dom backs down. So in this type of relationship who is really the Dominant?

What your seeking can be found it will just require a lot of time and patience on your part and sticking to what you need in a relationship. Many who live the lifestyle are not truly 24/7 even though they come off as being , some even say you cannot live 24/7 and that is a crock because I do.
I control everything from the time we get up until we go to bed. Many claim they do not want that kind of responsibility but it is really easy to put a plan into place.

Yes Fifty Shades was a let down I did take Arianna to see it but instead of BDSM it was a love story about a Dominant who suffered from childhood problems and depression. There was no structure , no rules or any reason to why he wanted to do the things he wanted to do….

So how did I do it you ask? Well as I said above I had to define who and what I was. I had to have a clear picture as to what type of relationship I wanted. I have had relationships in the past and for the most all were good and we parted on good terms, but I was still looking for that definition.

The rules , structure and protocols you had for you last slave will not work for someone new, mainly because people are different, needs are different and we grow , we grow on a daily basis.

Once you start your training you have to stick with it, once you explain how the relationship will work and what you expect you have to stick to it. Once you change or give in you have lost control.

While sitting here I started thinking Arianna and I have what you would call a consensual non-consensual relationship. Our relationship was negotiated before we agreed to actually enter a M’s relationship. As I stated before when entering a relationship I would bend when it came to my needs but in the end I was not in a fulfilling relationship. My needs were not being met and I was not able to be who I was.

Many in the BDSM world view consensual non -consent bad many see it as an open door to abuse , and the term is mainly geared towards owners of property.
I suppose there are those who take the term to the extreme , but if you truly care about your slave or property surely you would not bring and physical or mental harm to them.

The basis of consensual non-consent is: “I consent for You to do whatever You like to me without future negotiation”. There is just the first consent. Yes, I consent to whatever is going to happen, without needing to further negotiate what is going to happen. Obviously, strong trust is involved.

There are many reasons why consensual non-consent is a common way for BDSM partners to play. It is a strong reinforcement of the power exchange, and it supports mystery, spontaneity and excitement from the unknown. Many people argue that SSC (safe, sane and consensual) takes away the ultimate BDSM experiences in exchange for relatively safe exploration.

While you can have a relationship without caring , or not having any emotions , that would also bring no connection and a lack of trust on the slaves part , not that it cannot be done. If you were to find such a partner the relationship would be based off of just lust and we all know those are short lived. In the end you put a lot of time into a relationship and when it ends you have nothing to show for it.

It may not seem like much when your 20 , or 30 maybe even not 40 , but there will come a time when you are going to need more , and your needs will out weigh your wants. Once you hit 30 time does fly….

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