Archive for the Train your slave Category

At what point does Training end?

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave, Training your submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 12, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many rush into a relationship without any negotiations and often there is no real training program put in place and both just wing it.  I often ask how do you train what are the steps you take and I always get close to the same answer, oh the usual. So I ask a point blank question and I do not get a answer and why is that? Ahh because there is no training, the relationship turns into a do what I say relationship. I will admit there is nothing wrong with such a relationship but do not come bragging about your intense training program.

Often these type of relationships survive from topping from the bottom and the novice Dominant or maybe experienced dominant does not even see it.

Come here and give me some head, then you hear no or I do not feel like it. Go to the bed strip and spread I want to fuck. I am to tired , I am not in the mood, what the fuck is this you are to tired ? My answer would be all you have to do is lay there and keep your cock sucker shut, it requires zero effort on your end just lay there like you are suppose to.

Go get the toys out I want to play, no I am not in the mood nor do I want to play. Come here I want to try my new flogger. No I do not feel like it , or I do not like the flogger.

Come on we are going out to eat, where are we going? We are going to Outback Steak house. I do not like outback I do not want to eat there, I want to go here>

Now why does this happen? Any Idea on why such a attitude? There were no negotiations nor did the dominant really know the slave, he did not take the steps to learn about the slave.

Now at this point it is to late to back track or wait you can but either way the relationship will most likely come to a end. The first thing out of your mouth will be, this is not the way I trained you, and the slave will have this confused look but will agree with you. Then you can put your foot down and explain how it is going to be but this is really not the right thing to try and put in place.One of  Two things will happen, the slave will leave or you will give in to the slaves demands. By the time you get to this point it is to late to try to correct it.

So how do you avoid such a fuck up? 1. Get to know the slave, I mean really get to know, get to know better than the slave knows themselves. 2 Have the slaves best interest in mind, set goals for the slave be it service, work or school always support the slave. 3. Be honest with the slave, be truthful and if you say something mean it and follow through. 4. Negotiate put your needs on the table , while you do not have to explain the training process you do need to communicate your needs in the relationship.  This includes service, play, limits, and sharing. Often times you will find a slave who is service orientated has no desire to be shared. If the slave is not Bi you cannot push the issue, I can assure you there will come a time when the slave will want to make you happy as long as you follow the above. Listen to the slaves needs and this is where it can get tricky more so if the slave is new to the lifestyle. The slave will be clueless and this is where a level headed master comes into play. It is your duty to probe for questions, where does the slave want to be in a year, even five years. What things are most important to the slave out of a relationship. Once you commit  and give your word , your words are carved in stone. This however can cause issues if the two are having problems down the road because you cannot backtrack.

So the question is when is there a point when you stop training and end it? 1. If the slave enters the relationship and a week in or even a month the slave determines they are not a slave. Remember while searching you were looking for a slave not a submissive, a baby girl or anything else you were looking for a slave. It is up to you to step up and say hey it has been nice I wish you well.

The slave refuses to follow your rules you put into place, protocols and becomes unmanageable. Remember physical punishment is not always the answer and if you cross that line you could find yourself behind bars. If the slave becomes bratty and mouthy and you have had open communication but nothing seems to help. If the slave decides they have found they are not really a slave and the slave wants out.

Often a novice slave will enter a relationship and they are clueless and are not giving much information about what is expected nor what to expect. It really takes a lot over conversation, more so a lot of detailed work.

 

Vile

 

 

Eye Restrictions And Why I have Changed My Mind

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, Dominants, Eye Restrictions, Rules, Slave, Submission, submissive, Train your slave with tags , , , , on January 7, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have a disagreement about eye restrictions when a Dom first meets a submissive , I myself believe eye contact means everything when getting to know each other because the eyes tell everything.

Control the mind and you control everything else , being able to get in someones head and fully understanding what makes someone think the way they do, why they do the things they do , you are able to understand their habits and change habits.

After training , the initial part of training because training is on going it never stops. Throughout the relationship the Dominant must make changes , maybe small changes or maybe drastic. Many times I make changes and neither Arianna or Lynn are even aware I have made changes. It is to easy to get into a routine and the relationship becomes stagnate its going nowhere.

Sub-space many think sub-space happens only during play but in fact sub-space happens on a daily basis , minute by minute and hour by hour. This happens with rules and protocols. Having enough protocols through out the day , changing habits , the way one thinks all keep the submissive in some sort of sub-space. Rules are put in place to make improvements of ones life. A new protocol I have put in place is before Arianna sits she stands at parade rest and she makes the request to sit , this is not a rule it is a protocol , public or private. I am keeping that level of sub-space.

http://kinkipedia.wikidot.com/wiki:eye-contact-restriction

Eye contact restrictions refer to a popular protocol within BDSM play whereby the submissive is not permitted to look at a dominant directly in the eye.

This is done as a general may of emphasizing hierarchy in the relationship but is also used as a tool for humiliation, with the idea being that the submissive is not worthy of looking in the eye of the superior dominant.

This practice is a mainly psychological activity.

Eye contact restriction is commonly maintained through the submissive having to look at the floor, with transgressions normally punished through punishments such as face slapping. In other cases eye contact restriction can actually be enforced through the use of blindfolds.

Most of the above I disagree with , it has nothing to do with Humiliation unless the submissive sees it that way. A Hierarchy yes in any D’s or M’s relationship there has to be a Hierarchy. The practice is psychological it is maintaining that sub-space because every time one speaks they are reminded of who they are and what their position is in the relationship.

Not being worthy I disagree with that statement as well , the submissive or slave is more than worthy after all they are the ones who keeps the house together. They are the ones who makes sure everything runs smoothly. They are the ones who do most of the planning. In my case Arianna does all of the above including taking care of the funds of the house keeping everything balanced , insuring everything is paid and some goes into savings. Arianna and Lynn both plan meals , clean and do chores that were assigned to them so the word worthy needs to be scratched off.

Keeping that level of sub-space , keeping one in that frame of mind and keeping one thinking.  At times I will add different protocols , one I have recently added is when we are out the girls will stand with their arms down in front with hands clasped. When my girls are out they both look like a million dollars , why? One because I care and two they both represent me. How they dress , how they talk , how they sit is all a representation of me. How they both act shows the amount of training I have provided and it shows their loyalty.

Humiliation there are at times I will use some form of humiliation nothing to extreme , but it is to remind them of who they are and what their place is within the home. Remember you can get into that routine rut and again you the Dominant needs to change things up.

So my thoughts on eye restriction , keeping one humble , a simple reminder of ones place.

My way of thinking is if you implement eye restrictions , there has to be a time when your property is allowed to look at you eye to eye. At dinner for instance this is what is called free time to speak. There are no cell phones and most of the time the TV is turned down but from this moment forward the TV will be off. At dinner I address each asking if anything is on their mind? This is total free time to be able to address anything be it good or bad. This is the time to clear the chest , clear thoughts or concerns. At the end of the day I can only make a informed decision based on the information provided. If you did not provide the information or enough or even correct information and I make a bad decision it then falls on my girls not I.

Eye restrictions is something I am still up in the air on , I am giving it a great deal of thought. Once I implement something I seldom change it..

 

Vile

Journals

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, exploring your slave, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Rules, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave with tags , , , , on November 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

A peak into someones mind , their deepest inner thoughts. How they view life and the world , friends , family , the world. Personal feelings are shared good and bad. Thoughts are shared on the deepest level , and most times Journals are never meant to be read. Journals are a safe haven where one can go and at some point and time in life , they are able to pickup and read again and reflect about life.

The Journals can be a great advantage if read by a partner or a potential partner , unlike just sitting and talking , reading gives us a greater insight on how one thinks, what makes them tick, what is going on inside their head.

Many Dominants when entering a relationship will demand the submissive start writing a journal and many times not even reading. The Journal that is being written for the most is not real. What is being wrote is what the Dominant wants to hear again if its even read.

Seeking ones submission is about getting into their mind , what makes the submissive think the way they do? How life is viewed ? How they feel on a personal level? How they view family and friends? Most of the time the Journal has little to nothing to do with sex , which when a Dominant demands a journal sex has to be included. He wants to know your deepest thoughts when it comes to sex , to include any fantasies , limits hard and soft and why?

I was lucky when Arianna and I first met , she moved in with me relatively fast , I believe it was within the first 6 weeks of meeting. Yes it does seem fast but sometimes you just know.

One day I got nosy and started going through some of Arianna’s boxes and low and behold I found a box that contained Magic. Pulling the note books out I had stumbled across around 18 years of journals. Now at this time Arianna’s training had already begun and we were into about week 2 of training of the 90 days initial training so still a long way to go.

Who cares about the Pussy or if the submissive takes it up the ass or if they swallow. Sex should be on the back burner. What I have mentioned about sex that is part of training as well but there should be other goals in mind after all the Dominant is seeking complete control and ownership. You can train someone to suck your dick to your liking or fuck the way you like to fuck , but lets get in the mind.

You would think a potential Dom/Master would care enough to take a peak inside your life. You would think they would care enough to see where you are coming from. Knowing your habits , your likes/dislikes.

Prior to any type of training the one who is training must have a clear understanding of the one who is being trained.  The Dominant can lay out some pretty basic rules , such as bedtime , texting , emails all of which are forming habits , habits the Dominant may find useful but to dig in to some real deep training the Dominant has to know you inside and out.

Once inside the mind the Dominant has full control providing they do nothing stupid. Making unrealistic demands such as pics from work , or demanding nude videos if the submissive is not comfortable doing so. There is a fine line between something that is Ok to something that is just downright stupid.

Training is a form of Hypnosis , not only protocols but rules and followed are suggestions. Suggestions go a long way when training and note mistakes are going to be made , a lot of mistakes are going to be made and there should be room for error. As much as we would like to say we are perfect we are far from it.

If there are no journals on hand make a suggestion to start a journal , by making a suggestion there is no pressure for the submissive to start one. If they really care then the typing will begin or old school by writing. If the submissive does not care then your suggestion will go nowhere.

Once you the Dominants thinks you have a pretty good feeling about knowing your potential partner and you feel you have the ground work to begin training then move into the sexual area , note try staying away from limits asking one what their limits are really has no meaning because limits change over time , limits change with different partners , of course there are those hard unthinkable limits and we all know those.

Moving into the sex area of the journal to include fantasies , for the most fantasies are just that. Just because the submissive states she has a fantasy about being with another girl it may be just that a fantasy. If the submissive wants to be with another girl you can be sure she will bring it up.

The journal , what does one hope to get out of a D’s or M’s relationship ? Many are able to express more on paper than speaking face to face. Many are able to share deeper feelings than face to face.

Sit down with the submissive once you have read and outline parts that draws a interest and discuss what has been written. Once you bring out the information that has been provided then the submissive will feel as though they can open up after all you are sitting there holding the words that were written.

This now opens the door to sex and other kinks and yes fantasies. Now lets talk about bondage and maybe explore pain , sub-space.

After you have gotten into the mind the submissive will begin to open doors that were once locked.

Check out bestslavetraining.com This is an awesome guide to training your slave and good for new Dominants..

Vile

 

The Slave Is A Direct Reflection Of You

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna, Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 5, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Slave , the Submissive , the Baby Girl you train is a direct reflection of you. A direct reflection of how your home is ran m your training , your protocols and even the way your property dresses. When out together the way your property acts is a direct reflection of you the owner, when you have company over , a direct reflection.

Much of this falls under your training , your protocols and really how much you care. If you really do not give a fuck it shows.

The more you show you care , the more protocols you put in place , the more you enforce your rules the more your property will appreciate you.

Vile

 

 

Control The Mind Control The Body

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, Dominance, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants who suffer from depression, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Train your slave with tags , , , on October 3, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Anybody can bark orders , anybody can intimidate someone into submission , but when you do that you are not getting true submission, it fakes you have absolutely nothing. You can scream , you can lose your temper or the best is using names like you worthless whore , cum dump or you stupid bitch. It goes on and on , you are the dominant at that moment and time. Making someone fear you does not equal service , humiliating someone does not make you a dominant. Forcing someone to have a low self esteem does not make you a dominant. The above you do not control anything you are forcing, and it is only you who needs the self gratification, you need that ego boost and really know absolutely nothing about true submission .

I have spoken in the past about Best slave training , http://bestslavetraining.com/ This is a awesome source of information. Recently I was made group leader of Best Slave Training on Fetlife which is truly an honor.. CuffsMaster the Moderator had taken a leave of absence and others were trying to take over the group. Some had said they tried to reach out to CuffsMaster and received no reply. On Fetlife if a group goes Un-moderated for a length of time , one can petition and take over the group. The funny thing I emailed CuffsMaster and he responded in less than an hour. That would be like well Vile has not posted in over a month and I want to take over his wordpress. I am also the Director of MAsT Kissimmee , which falls under MAsT International. http://www.mast.net/ MAsT International is dedicated to education within the lifestyle and is also world wide.

In other news there is now Thekinkyworldofvile.com which I am really excited about , this will allow me to be more open and practice my first amendment without fear of being shut down as I have been in the past. I was told I was not a real or serious blogger because I use wordpress. The truth be known I am not nor do I consider myself a blogger , what I do is share information so that others may take a little and put my words to good use. Everything I write about and I am by no means a professional writer is about my life, my thoughts , where I was and where I am at now in the present. At times I do share what others have shared meaning I will re-blog something but that does not happen very often. I will use quotes from other sites after asking permission. If the site is old , 5,10, 15 years and I contact someone and I do not get a response then I may post or I may not.

Submission is not giving nor can you take it. Submission is earned and there are steps that has to be taken. Earning trust is a huge factor , trust is not something that happens over night. Training is not something that happens over night.

When I was younger my thoughts of having a naked slave in the house seemed fun , it seemed controlling , there was power but little did I know there was a reason and a very valid reason and years later I would put my thoughts to good use. Out in public my girls are covered. Going out both girls are always dressed better than I am, do not take that wrong because I dress very nice when I go out. Keeping both covered shows respect , and it shows those in the community I have respect for my property not that it matters.

Keeping nude in the house is not a power thing nor is it a ego thing , it is continuous training , it is a mindset a reminder she is a slave. It has little to do with sex although it is there for my taking. Being nude is a high protocol of mine , I speak of protocols often but they are needed. Protocols are not only meant for training they are meant as a reminder. You keep reminding and it keeps your property in that frame of mind.

Many see BDSM as a sex tool , the kink , the spanking , flogging and bondage although those are good benefits but the lifestyle or my lifestyle runs so much deeper. BDSM has changed so much over the past 5 years or so and has turned to more of a kink base. Hey do you want me to tie you up and beat your ass , then you can suck my cock when we are done? There is no emotional contact just physical no meaning , no connection.

Today there are far more what I call true Submissive’s and true Slaves than there are true Dominants or Masters. Years ago it was just the opposite , I suppose things change. I wanted to introduce a Dom to a submissive , I explained she owned her own house , she made 45k a year and looking for a real Dominant. He asked me what she was looking for and I explained not to much , strict rules , complete control and accountability . His words were fuck that. I was like really dude?

Every time I meet a new sub or slave my words of advice is to think with a clear head , know what you need , and do not give in. How often does that work ? Never maybe for the first two hours then its like running down the street butt ass naked. At some point the stupid switch turns on and this Sub frenzy kicks in. You end up falling for the first Dom you meet which 99% of the time is online. My advice is to go out in public and meet people who can relate to you but the answer is always I am to shy or I don’t have time but you have time to turn your cam on and get naked, sending pics of yourself everyday to a man you do not even know. You give your phone number your address , where you work and within a week all of your passwords. WTF? Then you give all of your banking information to someone you hardly know. You have no idea where this guy lives , you have never been to his house , fuck you don’t even know where he works. What makes it sad is you know everything seems wrong , you know you do not want to give out any information but you do it out of fear. The fear of loss is a motherfucker , you fear you will never find another but in reality you are getting nothing out of the relationship with the exception of being used.

To control the mind you must know your slave , you must know their habits , food , movies , music , why the like the clothes they buy. What they fear , love , care about, what gives that cozy feeling. The master should be able to anticipate thoughts , movements and needs without asking.

These guys who spend so much time playing games just to get pussy or their cock sucked are total losers. They have huge egos , and for the most they suffer from depression and have a insecurity problem. Most do not even have a pot to piss in and are under employed.

Get in the mind and you can have anything you want without question….

 

 

Why Not Give Her A Chance

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Dominant and Submissive, Slave, Submissive, Train your slave, training your slave with tags , , , , on August 12, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was going to blog about something else but as I started this topic came to mind. I have over 2000 post but I do not believe Ive touched on this subject or if I did I am sure this will cover different material.

I had a friend and the key word is had , Arianna and Lynn had met him before a couple of times but in the past two years he has dated some two hundred women and met them on different dating sites. Every women he has met has had something wrong ranging from ADHD , to Depression , Anxiety , and a couple of girls back Asperger’s Syndrome.

Some men or Doms enter a relationship looking for the bad , looking for something wrong. Maybe the way they dress , which you can change , hair which you can change , they way they eat , which you can change , the way they communicate which you can change, their thought process which you can change or if you find nothing wrong at all you make something up.

If you are A Dominant , Master or Owner you have the ability to change anything in your relationship , you can change any of the above , you can alter ones way of thinking , but and there is a but, it will take some time and work on the Doms side , it will mean time invested.

Now this does not mean to be the knight on the White Horse , this does not mean to rescue. This does not mean to have someone dump all their problems on your plate and say hey fix this. If you meet someone and there is a container full of problems and they truly want a relationship you as the Dominant can give direction on how to fix everything but you should not enter any type of relationship until said problems are fixed. If the Submissive truly wants a relationship he or she will take the proper steps to begin fixing things if they are not willing to put forth a effort then drop them and move on , because some broke dick will step in and rescue. If you rescue it will not work , once everything is fixed you are gone.

On a mental level there are just some areas you do not want to step into. This does not mean someone is broke , no one is broke it just means what ever the problem is , is more than you can handle. You also have to look at the medications someone is taking , for instance someone who is suffering from Schizophrenia , I would think it would not be fair to even attempt to bring he or she into the lifestyle. Someone suffering from depression this does not rule out but what medications are they taking and why? It takes time to get to know someone but in out way of life it moves at subsonic speed. Many times you find yourself as a submissive sucking cock on the first date , or being tied up and getting your ass beat or your brains fucked out of you. Yes the first date how in the fuck does this happen? Then within  a day even then after you were fucked you find a collar around your neck and the dude knows absolutely nothing about you but and there is a but that will probably be the last time you wear the collar or maybe just during play.

So instead of just looking for the bad , concentrate on the good , find the good qualities , but more important look at the possibility’s , look at the quality’s , look at the compatibility, but more important what is the potential, look at the potential and what you could see in the future.  Look at how sincere their submission is , listen to their words look at their eyes. What are their goals ? What are your goals? If you look at everything meaning the whole picture you the Dominant may want to invest some time.

Start off small a few rules , give correction if needed , but this in no way means beating someone. You can go much farther speaking with someone adult to adult explaining what was done wrong or why a rule was broken. Barking orders does not make you a Dominant. Someone with good communications skills , someone who can listen , someone who can  give direction when looking out for the relationship.

Seeing potential in someone is very hard if your just interested in getting the pussy. Once you have banged her everything else goes out the window you no longer care because you hunted , you found , and you conquered.

Some are just happy with the kink , some are happy with just having a weekend fuck buddy , but there are many looking for more. Im thinking just how much of your life do you as a male or female want to waste. We as humans are a commodity and as we grow older our value drops. Our value drops each day , each month and each year for those of you who continue to play games. There will come a time when you roll over in bed and find yourself alone.

Seeing potential in someone , willing to invest time in someone can be very rewarding. If you are a experienced Dominant or Master and you put together a good training program , the rewards are not limited. If both are serious and in the right frame of mind , the growing never ends.

I pride myself on my relationship maintaining a drama free home with no problems. Make no mistake managing two can be a task at times but for the most everything just falls into place. Working together as a team makes a huge difference , and communicating. Every night at dinner that is our talk time and no cell phones are allowed , this is when everyone can speak freely about what is on their mind.

Sometimes we fail to see what a submissive or slave has to offer , it goes way beyond the the kink or just having someone around to clean. If your looking for a maid then you should move in with your mother.

Some Dominants you meet are insecure , emotional , and controlling. Those who have temper problems , a Dom who has a temper is a total no , no. Becoming a Dominant is a long learning process and many relationships will fail until you have found yourself and you have found the one who fits you. My advice would be when meeting someone take your time get to know your potential partner. Get to know them as a person and best friend before taking that huge step. Our way of life is so much deeper than just having a BDSM relationship you have to have some type of vanilla in your life..

Depression can be handled , weight can be handled , someone who is insecure can be handled.  Someone who is not organized can be handled , Someone who is emotional can be handled. Most anything can be handled if you the Dominant wants to take on such responsibility’s. Its very important if you start something finish it. Before you start make sure its a task you want to take on. If something does not work right it is on you the Dominant your the one in control , your the one who is training , your the one who makes sure everything stays in order..

If you are in a long distance relationship most of the above does not apply, in order to be in full control you must be able to reach out and touch , if your doing it by phone , or cam your playing a game…

 

Training Is On Going

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, commitment, communication, compatibility, control, Dominants, Domme, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna on October 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You read you hear the word Training on a regular basis. You hear how some have been trained , you hear about those who want to be trained and why they want to be trained.

I have found over the years even though I had a mentor , I had some training I had to go through , more of a self training , things I knew I had to make improvements and different areas ..

At one time I had a very bad temper , it took me years to get it under control, it took me years to learn how to channel anger into positive thoughts. This was a must after all if I could not control myself how was I going to control someone else?

The first thing a Dominant will tell you is he is in full control, then comes the screaming and yelling calling you a stupid bitch, or at times even getting physical.

At times I have to make changes to Arianna’s daily activities , maybe adjust a rule a protocol , I change something up. I may see an area that needs improvement. I make the change many times without even saying anything, or her even knowing, that is how well I know her.

Just as a submissive’s or Slaves training is ongoing our role as a Dominant or Master is ongoing as well. I know on a daily basis there is something I learn, I want to gain more knowledge be it about life in general or about the lifestyle.

There are three major downfalls when it comes to any relationship, the first being communicating, second Trust and third anger issues, and for anyone to Master all three is nearly impossible.

Past relationships can cause your current relationship to crash and burn, if you bring either of these three with you. Being able to freely communicate is so important, the Dominant must allow theirs to openly communicate about anything without fear of retribution, if you cannot then maybe you need to rethink your current relationship.

There are those who crash and burn their relationship on purpose, I have a friend who has told me several she will purposely sabotage the relationship, just because things are going to good… I suppose this stems from past relationships that included abuse.

If I cannot control myself , if I cannot control my emotions , if I cannot control my temper , then how can I control someone else ? If I cannot control my own life, if I cannot make the correct decisions , if I cannot show respect , if I cannot be truthful , if I cannot be honest ? Then how can I expect someone to submit to me ?

The tables turn when it comes to the submissive or slave, you have to be upfront, you have to be able to communicate, you have to be honest , truthful, but most of all you have to want.

I would imagine or I know being Dominant or Submissive without knowing what or who we are can be pretty confusing. I knew early on I was different but until my early 20’s I never gave it much thought. I assumed every woman wanted to be tied up, spanked and fucked in all holes without asking. I saw women as an object to be used just for pleasure, and in some cases even a hobby.

Once you start being able to figure everything out most things begin to fall into place, then meeting people with the same interest. That was the time and point I started to grow , slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together..

What makes the lifestyle so awesome is we find our own place in life we need to be, it allows us to be who and what we are. It allows us to open up , communicate and share with others. I know for the longest I felt pretty lost not really having anyone to talk to, or sharing my thoughts with anyone.

Even dating It was hard to express my feelings and emotions when I did not even know what was going on inside my head, and there were not many woman who understood me.

What I have learned over the years is to try and understand others, while I may not agree we should take the time to learn when it comes to different kinks and fetishes. Today it seems we are to quick to judge others instead of trying to understand.

It was not until my early 40’s it hit me when thinking how training really hit someone , you actually change someones way of thinking, you change the way one acts, talks, walks and the way one dresses. You take things away and give as you see fit. We guide , we train , we give rules , we give the promise of being there , we communicate and yes at times we punish. This is a lot of responsibility , this is a huge task , and at times staying on task can become a task.

Over the years I made mistakes, I made a lot of mistakes and I made some over and over.  Something I never did though was blame someone else, I knew when things went south it was my fault, but by the time you catch the mistake it is to late to take control again, mainly because the sub as seen that side of you.

You can only train someone if they want , need and are serious, if the sub is just going through the steps you are wasting your time and neither of you are able to reach your goals. I always started out with small task to see what the frame of mind was. I was and did not intend to go through the motions just to get my kicks, my time was way to valuable..

What type of Dominant are you looking for, maybe a Daddy , a Top a Dominant a Master all of these are things you need to consider. If your a Baby Girl why would you enter a relationship with a Master ? If your a Bottom why would you enter a relationship with a Dominant ?

What makes you a Baby girl ? What makes you a submissive or a slave ? What makes you just a Kinkster ? The Dominant or Domme should ask the same questions , what role does one want to fall into, where is the best fit, how much responsibility or control do you want..

What do you want out of being trained ? What are your goals ? What are your needs ? Has the training process been explained to you ? What does the Dominant want out of your training ?

The question is , What Do You Want To Do With Your One And Only Life ?

viledesires62@aol.com

focused

Vile

 

 

Continuing Training

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, communication, consistent, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your ssubmissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Just as a job we tend to get comfortable and at some point and time we start to slack, we tend to do less, we start to believe we are not replaceable but the fact is we are.
The same goes for a relationship we get comfortable , we start expecting what we once valued as a gift, our partner just wanting to please. Last week I spoke about the Resetting of the relationship , mainly D’s and M’s but I suppose some vanilla could use the same thing..

I call it continuing Education and as we know things are changing daily, we change, our needs become different and at times more extreme. Right now again Arianna is exploring ways on how she can deepen her submission even more. While she thinks this would be added work to me that is not so, everything else is already implemented.

Something else I wanted to touch on we as Dominants or Masters we all march to the beat of a different drum. We all have our own way of doing things, we all have different visions , needs and wants.

While at a Munch Arianna and I sat next to a D’s couple who are pretty new to the lifestyle and that is what I told him, March to your own drum you have to be happy, find what fits you.

In the lifestyle we grow almost on a daily basis, our needs change, so it is up to the Dominant to step up to the plate and make changes.

So lets say the Dominant is in a happy place , but his submissive comes to him and says hey I think I would like to give up more control, or maybe add a few more rules or protocols.
It may be the Dominant does not want to add more to his plate , but he will also have to evaluate the needs of the submissive. Even though he may not want to take on more, our number one objective is to insure their needs are being met.. There has to be a time when we as Dominants have to look at a bigger playing field and give more even if we do not see the need..

Training is a type of Behavior modification and it takes time , it will not happen over night a week , or even a month. It will take the two a month to get everything worked out…

I run a very strict house , protocols , structure and believe it or not only a handful of rules. Last week Arianna was questioning her submission, stating she could not see her submission, at times she felt less submissive.

I put a plan together , the BDSM reset I spoke about a few weeks ago. I started taking things away. The first to go was the furniture, second she was giving a Dog bowl to eat out of not every night , but at a time I picked so she did not know until we were ready to eat.
I did however allow her 45 minutes a day on the couch after work, but there was a catch. She likes taking a nap in the afternoons after work, along with surfing the net on her phone and tablet.
She had 45 minutes on the couch but there had to be a choice, her phone, table or nap. She had to choose her time wisely..

Yesterday while she was laying in the floor she had a moment, as she sat on the floor she started thinking about her submission and she realized she had no down time at all, she was able to see not only her submission but her task, her protocols, her rules it seems with just a few days everything came to light.

While laying in bed talking she said you really know me, you knew the effect it would have on me, you knew how I would react, and she was correct.

Just a slight change in our daily life made Arianna open her eyes and she realized just how well she had it made.. It made her think and it only took a couple of days.

Training is an on going tool we as Dominants use to keep our house running smoothly…. Training on a daily basis keeps structure in the home.

We are all different , we all have different needs , what we all need to do , is while we may not understand others we should respect their lifestyle. In our world there is no wrong way, and just maybe if we try to understand those we don’t it may allow us to grow.

Something to think about, what type of training did you receive ? How did your training effect you ? How did your training change you ? Is your training consistent ? Do your rules benefit you ? Are you put first in your relationship? Do you have access to your Dominant 24/7 ? I feel these are all important…

train

Vile

Master And Slave Behavior modification

Posted in 24/7, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Giving Head, Gorean Portocol, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, provocative, Rules, Self-Discipline, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on April 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have covered this before , but I would like to go into a little more detail. I am not by any means an expert , nor do I have a PHD. What I do have though is almost 25 years experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I have played many different roles , the only thing I have not done and never will is be in the submissive role.
Some will argue you have to be submissive before you can be a Dominant and I find that statement to be complete hog wash. I have filled the Sadist role, I have been a Daddy Dom , A Dominant and a Master , owner of Property. Each role is very different , each role needs different care , but what they all have in common is they all require communication and honesty.

I have done years and years of research, met thousands of people in the lifestyle some good and some bad , some real and some fake. The one thing that is for sure you have to take your relationship serious. You have to know without a doubt what type of relationship you need , not want.

Behavior modification
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
For the journal, see Behavior Modification (journal).

Behavior modification is the traditional term for the use of empirically demonstrated behavior change techniques to increase or decrease the frequency of behaviors, such as altering an individual’s behaviors and reactions to stimuli through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior and/or the reduction of behavior through its extinction, punishment and/or satiation. It is similar to operant conditioning but with the absence of the antecedent. Behavior modification is now known as Applied behavior analysis (ABA) which is more analytical than it used to be..

http://www.livestrong.com/article/234171-examples-of-behavior-modification-plans/

Basics

Behavior modifications plans will vary depending on the individual and the behavior or behaviors that need to be changed. Behavior modification plans will include reinforcers, which are consequences that increase the behavior, and/or punishments, which are consequences that reduce the behavior.

Here comes a word I bring up in just about every post, can you spot it ?

Consistency

When developing any type of behavior modification plan, it is important to keep in mind the ease of use. For behavior modification plans to be effective, they must be followed with consistency . Therefore, if the plan is hard to use, the likelihood that it will be effective will decrease because there will be inconsistent follow through. Okay maybe you missed it ? consistently , Consistence.

During any training the key is consistency if you the Dom or Master are not consistent you will fail and it will be your fault.

No matter your degree of submission you are going to go through some type of behavior modification.

Okay so BDSM is not medical and we certainly not shrinks by any means , but we are not only Dominants Masters or Daddy Doms , we are giving the responsibility and have agreed to take care of someone.

Now you the Dominant if you have any plans at all , in introducing any type of Behavior modification during your training this is something you should cover during your negotiations.

Adaption is a form of Behavior Modification , submission is a form , or just in general your employer.

When you speak in terms of BDSM your life takes a 100 degree turn, the way you talk, act , walk , speak, dress and in most cases even your hair color. Speaking of sex you will go through a few changes , now the sex is on your owners terms, the way you fuck , the way you suck cock, the way you lay , and at times when your allowed to cum.
Sex is on my terms , many men think with their dick and some would crawl naked through broken glass if they thought they were going to get a blow job, that is a true sign of being weak , and weak minded.

We train to fit our needs and wants , we train to fit your needs. Training can only be successful through positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is a reward , you have done well, you are doing good thank you for all of your effort, you will make me a good slave. I really appreciate the effort you have been putting into our relationship.

I have covered in great detail about Arianna’s training and today it is on going. It is funny when I first met Arianna I asked her, how do you see your self as a salve? Her reply was she did not know. I asked her if she had any ideas about what she wanted out of training and her answer was no.
I then explained as we grew together and we learned each other she would have questions and things she would want to try and today that statement proved me right. Arianna is always trying to come up with ways to deepen her submission. The truth is she would rather be chained 24/7 and just used for pleasure and service.

Recently ahh about 3 months ago I required Arianna to speak in thirds , Speaking in thirds is mainly a Gorean protocol , while I am not Gorean I do use many of the lifestyles protocols. Speaking in thirds is a reminder of not only who Arianna is but what her position is in out relationship. Now she never uses the words I or me, it has been replaced with she or your slave. While she had second thoughts about being able to master such a task , Arianna has perfected it.
Did it happen in a week ? Of course not , did it happen in a month ? Again no it did not , did it happen in two months ? Again it did not , did I punish her when she messed up or forgot ? The answer is no I did not punish her. You have to remember I changed her whole thought process as far as speaking and thinking before she speaks. The harder=est part was being able to change her speaking process when around family and friends, I can assure you that is or was not an easy task. Everything is done through Positive Reinforcement

Rules that are attainable not out of reach , unrealistic will break a relationship. To many rules can cause a over load and cause a mental crash. The Dom spends more time waiting on a rule to be broken then training.
Rules are a type of Behavioral modification , your taking bad habits and replacing with good habits and again the is done through positive reinforcement , security , structure, communication , and rules.

You have to determine how far and deep you want to go with your submission. You have to determine how much control you want to hand over , you want to make sure your needs are met because if they are you will have no wants.

One last thing i want to add is , if you do not live together the above is nearly impossible to achieve. The Dominant really has no control over you and you will grow tired of trying to please someone who is not there.

train

Vile

I wish I Was A Better Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, anger, Anger Issues, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, cock sucking, codependent, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, control, Daddy Dom, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Master, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The Novice Dominant, The World Of BDSM, Train your slave with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am sure many of you have heard these words or similar. I wish I was a better Daddy , I wish I was a better Master , or Dominant.

These words come from a novice who has bitten off more than he can chew. He has stepped out of the frying pan into the fire.

A middle aged man waking up one morning after finding ALT.com or some other BDSM site, now he wants to step into that relationship really knowing nothing about the lifestyle. He now wants to control someone , impose rules , look for reasons to punish, yell and bark orders , make demands you are not sure you can do , or possibly get into trouble.
He now wants to isolate you, keep you from family and friends.

The novice has been in the lifestyle now for 10 years or this is what he is telling you. He has trained many , and the relationship has failed because they lied to him, they were not real , they were fakes.

Your needy and he is greedy sounds familiar yes? He takes and takes and you give and give, but you get nothing in return.

A novice a week into the lifestyle is not the Grand Master of Masters , the Lord the Grand Pooba.

On your knees bitch suck your Masters cock, I will train you just keep sucking. I own you, and you have only known each other for a couple of hours.

This is the Dominant you can tell nothing because he knows everything. This is the Dominant when the relationship falls apart it is your fault , you did it, you were not true , how dare you lie about your submission.

You know a couple of months ago I tried giving someone advice and he laughed at me.
He then sent me a friend request on Facebook , so I excepted. A month went by and nothing not a word so I then deleted him.
Then out of the blue I get a Message saying let me know when you can talk, as in making some kind demand , like he was making time for me. He is now blocked.

The novice is like a leach it will suck the blood out of you until you pick it off and throw it away.

I am far from perfect , I have and would never claim I know all. What I know has taking me years to learn not months or weeks but years.

He wants his cock sucked but the minute you become needy or he finds out your codependent he wants no part of you.
You need to grow up , your acting childish , I am not going to put up with your games , that is right your now a game , and in the end the break up is your fault and your fault only.

If the Dominant cannot control his own life , his own problems , his own drama , how in the fuck is he going to help or control you. If his life is a complete fucking mess , you have to think what can he bring to the table to help me ?

The novice Dominant will lose their temper at the drop of a hat. You are now the stupid bitch , your a cunt , your making his life so fucking miserable. He cannot train you because your a fake your not real. He will scream and scream then he will come crawling back with his tail between his legs begging you to take him back.

I wish I was a better Dominant , I wish I was a better Master or Daddy , these are the words of a novice and a idiot. He has stepped into someones shoes and they do not fit.

You the submissive in the end are the one in charge , you are running the relationship and you are faking your submission.

All you have to do is think.

fight

Vile