Archive for the Train your slave Category

Master And Slave Behavior modification

Posted in 24/7, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Giving Head, Gorean Portocol, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, provocative, Rules, Self-Discipline, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on April 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have covered this before , but I would like to go into a little more detail. I am not by any means an expert , nor do I have a PHD. What I do have though is almost 25 years experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I have played many different roles , the only thing I have not done and never will is be in the submissive role.
Some will argue you have to be submissive before you can be a Dominant and I find that statement to be complete hog wash. I have filled the Sadist role, I have been a Daddy Dom , A Dominant and a Master , owner of Property. Each role is very different , each role needs different care , but what they all have in common is they all require communication and honesty.

I have done years and years of research, met thousands of people in the lifestyle some good and some bad , some real and some fake. The one thing that is for sure you have to take your relationship serious. You have to know without a doubt what type of relationship you need , not want.

Behavior modification
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
For the journal, see Behavior Modification (journal).

Behavior modification is the traditional term for the use of empirically demonstrated behavior change techniques to increase or decrease the frequency of behaviors, such as altering an individual’s behaviors and reactions to stimuli through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior and/or the reduction of behavior through its extinction, punishment and/or satiation. It is similar to operant conditioning but with the absence of the antecedent. Behavior modification is now known as Applied behavior analysis (ABA) which is more analytical than it used to be..

http://www.livestrong.com/article/234171-examples-of-behavior-modification-plans/

Basics

Behavior modifications plans will vary depending on the individual and the behavior or behaviors that need to be changed. Behavior modification plans will include reinforcers, which are consequences that increase the behavior, and/or punishments, which are consequences that reduce the behavior.

Here comes a word I bring up in just about every post, can you spot it ?

Consistency

When developing any type of behavior modification plan, it is important to keep in mind the ease of use. For behavior modification plans to be effective, they must be followed with consistency . Therefore, if the plan is hard to use, the likelihood that it will be effective will decrease because there will be inconsistent follow through. Okay maybe you missed it ? consistently , Consistence.

During any training the key is consistency if you the Dom or Master are not consistent you will fail and it will be your fault.

No matter your degree of submission you are going to go through some type of behavior modification.

Okay so BDSM is not medical and we certainly not shrinks by any means , but we are not only Dominants Masters or Daddy Doms , we are giving the responsibility and have agreed to take care of someone.

Now you the Dominant if you have any plans at all , in introducing any type of Behavior modification during your training this is something you should cover during your negotiations.

Adaption is a form of Behavior Modification , submission is a form , or just in general your employer.

When you speak in terms of BDSM your life takes a 100 degree turn, the way you talk, act , walk , speak, dress and in most cases even your hair color. Speaking of sex you will go through a few changes , now the sex is on your owners terms, the way you fuck , the way you suck cock, the way you lay , and at times when your allowed to cum.
Sex is on my terms , many men think with their dick and some would crawl naked through broken glass if they thought they were going to get a blow job, that is a true sign of being weak , and weak minded.

We train to fit our needs and wants , we train to fit your needs. Training can only be successful through positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is a reward , you have done well, you are doing good thank you for all of your effort, you will make me a good slave. I really appreciate the effort you have been putting into our relationship.

I have covered in great detail about Arianna’s training and today it is on going. It is funny when I first met Arianna I asked her, how do you see your self as a salve? Her reply was she did not know. I asked her if she had any ideas about what she wanted out of training and her answer was no.
I then explained as we grew together and we learned each other she would have questions and things she would want to try and today that statement proved me right. Arianna is always trying to come up with ways to deepen her submission. The truth is she would rather be chained 24/7 and just used for pleasure and service.

Recently ahh about 3 months ago I required Arianna to speak in thirds , Speaking in thirds is mainly a Gorean protocol , while I am not Gorean I do use many of the lifestyles protocols. Speaking in thirds is a reminder of not only who Arianna is but what her position is in out relationship. Now she never uses the words I or me, it has been replaced with she or your slave. While she had second thoughts about being able to master such a task , Arianna has perfected it.
Did it happen in a week ? Of course not , did it happen in a month ? Again no it did not , did it happen in two months ? Again it did not , did I punish her when she messed up or forgot ? The answer is no I did not punish her. You have to remember I changed her whole thought process as far as speaking and thinking before she speaks. The harder=est part was being able to change her speaking process when around family and friends, I can assure you that is or was not an easy task. Everything is done through Positive Reinforcement

Rules that are attainable not out of reach , unrealistic will break a relationship. To many rules can cause a over load and cause a mental crash. The Dom spends more time waiting on a rule to be broken then training.
Rules are a type of Behavioral modification , your taking bad habits and replacing with good habits and again the is done through positive reinforcement , security , structure, communication , and rules.

You have to determine how far and deep you want to go with your submission. You have to determine how much control you want to hand over , you want to make sure your needs are met because if they are you will have no wants.

One last thing i want to add is , if you do not live together the above is nearly impossible to achieve. The Dominant really has no control over you and you will grow tired of trying to please someone who is not there.

train

Vile

I wish I Was A Better Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, anger, Anger Issues, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, cock sucking, codependent, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, control, Daddy Dom, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Master, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The Novice Dominant, The World Of BDSM, Train your slave with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am sure many of you have heard these words or similar. I wish I was a better Daddy , I wish I was a better Master , or Dominant.

These words come from a novice who has bitten off more than he can chew. He has stepped out of the frying pan into the fire.

A middle aged man waking up one morning after finding ALT.com or some other BDSM site, now he wants to step into that relationship really knowing nothing about the lifestyle. He now wants to control someone , impose rules , look for reasons to punish, yell and bark orders , make demands you are not sure you can do , or possibly get into trouble.
He now wants to isolate you, keep you from family and friends.

The novice has been in the lifestyle now for 10 years or this is what he is telling you. He has trained many , and the relationship has failed because they lied to him, they were not real , they were fakes.

Your needy and he is greedy sounds familiar yes? He takes and takes and you give and give, but you get nothing in return.

A novice a week into the lifestyle is not the Grand Master of Masters , the Lord the Grand Pooba.

On your knees bitch suck your Masters cock, I will train you just keep sucking. I own you, and you have only known each other for a couple of hours.

This is the Dominant you can tell nothing because he knows everything. This is the Dominant when the relationship falls apart it is your fault , you did it, you were not true , how dare you lie about your submission.

You know a couple of months ago I tried giving someone advice and he laughed at me.
He then sent me a friend request on Facebook , so I excepted. A month went by and nothing not a word so I then deleted him.
Then out of the blue I get a Message saying let me know when you can talk, as in making some kind demand , like he was making time for me. He is now blocked.

The novice is like a leach it will suck the blood out of you until you pick it off and throw it away.

I am far from perfect , I have and would never claim I know all. What I know has taking me years to learn not months or weeks but years.

He wants his cock sucked but the minute you become needy or he finds out your codependent he wants no part of you.
You need to grow up , your acting childish , I am not going to put up with your games , that is right your now a game , and in the end the break up is your fault and your fault only.

If the Dominant cannot control his own life , his own problems , his own drama , how in the fuck is he going to help or control you. If his life is a complete fucking mess , you have to think what can he bring to the table to help me ?

The novice Dominant will lose their temper at the drop of a hat. You are now the stupid bitch , your a cunt , your making his life so fucking miserable. He cannot train you because your a fake your not real. He will scream and scream then he will come crawling back with his tail between his legs begging you to take him back.

I wish I was a better Dominant , I wish I was a better Master or Daddy , these are the words of a novice and a idiot. He has stepped into someones shoes and they do not fit.

You the submissive in the end are the one in charge , you are running the relationship and you are faking your submission.

All you have to do is think.

fight

Vile

My Wife , My Partner , My Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Submissive's Home, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Commit, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Meeting your new Dom/Master, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, TPE, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 20, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow it has been two years now and we are still counting. I would like to say that each passing day gets better.

You know there is one thing we all want , and that is to find the perfect partner. Someone who is not just our partner , but our best friend, someone we can count on, turn to. We all want someone we can spend the rest of our life with, someone we can grow old with and sit on the porch in the evening , and talk about our past , present , and future.

The lifestyle is just a little different , because our needs are different. The way we view relationships is different , because your either a Dominant or your a submissive , and if you want to go deeper a slave and owned property.

Your stepping into a wide open world, and in many cases the world of the unknown. A new life journey, a new path , but we want to know what direction we are traveling in. What is more important you want to know you are going to be taking care of.

Being a submissive , slave or Baby girl is no easy task. You are really giving up so much, but under the right conditions you can gain so much more.

So 4 years ago I set out on a journey , and that journey was to find the perfect Slave , partner and wife.
I had made up my mind it was time to settle down. It was becoming old waking up in the morning alone , although I have always preferred being alone.
A year before meeting Arianna , I agreed to let a couple move in , I had been looking for a roommate for a while. It was not because I needed the money , I suppose it was more of a company thing , like during dinner or something.

Just prior to that I was living in a cabin on the river which was very relaxing and more so because there were no people near me. It was a short time after I became ill and after a dozen times going to the doctor we determined the cabin was full of mold, and I had spores on my lungs, so I had to move.
I underwent a couple of months of treatments and I was slowly beginning to feel better.

I ran across a house that was being remolded and I asked about renting it. It just so happened the house was right in the middle of the Hood. The house set on a street all alone so there was no one around me, but I was the only white dude with in about 6 or 8 blocks.
I quickly felt at home and I had made a couple of good friends. The only problem with friends is they want to visit , and I am not the social type , I tend to be out spoken and some take my personality offensive at times and my rather dry sense of humor.
The only reason I moved in was the house had just been remodeled other wise I would of never thought about moving there.

Okay I got off track a little so here we go.

I got real tired of jumping from relationship to relationship, and it was all because I was settling for less that what I wanted and needed. I was fulfilling the moment knowing it was not going to work, but I played it out until it ended. It was for companionship and nothing more and that never ends well.

So I was in the process of moving to the Philippines I already had a job lined up.
I had been searching for almost 2 years for the one, and I refused to settle for anything less. I already had my mind made up. So when it seemed I was just out of luck that is when I made arrangements to relocate.

Then One day I received a call from a Dom I knew who lives in Orlando and he said he wanted to introduce me to someone. He said we would be a perfect fit.

So reluctantly I agreed to meet and when I saw Arianna getting out of her SUV. I thought Lord Jesus there is a God. Wow I almost spit my coffee out.

So we talked for a couple of hours , we met again the next day and talked more, and the more we talked the more I thought it was some joke. Because I had never met anyone who did not object to anything as far as my needs and wants.

Then came the blow we talked about her needs and being micromanaged , protocols and rules. This was something I had to give a great deal of thought about because I had been in a micromanaged relationship before and it was really not my thing.

One thing I want to make clear, I was not looking for a housekeeper , or a cook. My house for the most was spotless. I was not looking for someone to do my laundry , and I was not looking for a mother figure.

I wanted to live an M’s relationship , nothing less. I was not looking for a submissive, why ? Because a submissive negotiates their relationship, a submissive has the right to say NO. I had tried that and it failed. There were not going to be any type of negotiation , the slave had to fit my needs.

You cannot be Master and Slave 24/7 it is impossible. You not only have your everyday life you have to deal with, but you have to be best friends.
You have to at some point and time be normal, there has to be a vanilla side that comes out.

I am a huge cut up, most people never know when I am serious or not.

We do have protocols in place and daily rituals that keeps us in that frame of mind, but we also have date nights we go out and do things together, and yes I even go clothes shopping with Arianna.

You as a submissive or slave should always come first in your relationship, that is your right. If your not you have the right to question, you also have the right to walk away.

If something is not going right you have the right to question. Again you are and should be number one.

I currently work from home , my office is covered with Arianna, I have pictures on the wall on my desk so where ever I look I see her, and she is the reason I am here today.
She is my last thought before I fall a sleep and my first breath when I wake and she is laying next to me.

Being in a D’s or M’s relationship is so much more than just barking orders or punishing you for something you really did not do.

The relationship is meant to provide security , structure , and yes rules but the rules are meant to provide the mentioned.

Once Arianna and I agreed to start a relationship , she really had no idea her training had started, I said nothing. It was an intense 90 day run we had.
Training is never over it is on going , I call it daily Maintenance , and that requires me to me consistent on a daily basis.
As Arianna grows she is always coming up with new ways she sees that she can hmmm reach a deeper state of submission.

The other night we were talking and she made the comment that she felt the mental aspect of our relationship more so than she would with pain.
The fact is I have never left a bruise on Arianna nor do I wish to.

Arianna had been in two bad M’s relationships prior to meeting me.
One of the first things I did was introduce her to people I knew in the local community, and people I had know for over twenty years..
It was not something I felt I had to do , but I wanted to put her mind at ease. Maybe it was to validate who I was. I do know she had been abused and lied to in the past.

Today her training still continues. We talk everyday , I want to know how she is feeling, what she is thinking, is there anything she wants to talk about.
Often she comes to me with ideas about how she wants to grow or explore an idea she has.

So if your Dominant says he wants to train you. You need to ask him to clarify just what his training means. What are you going to get out of his plan ? How is his training going to help you grow ?

One thing that cracks me up is when a sub or slave meets a new dominant he wants to impose rules.
I find that truly funny and I would assume the guy is a total dumb ass because he knows nothing about you, he knows nothing about your needs or habits.

NEVER I mean NEVER send anyone nude pictures of you unless you want your kids finding them on the internet one day and that will happen.
If he wants nude pictures tell him to use google. You sending pictures of yourself does not in anyway prove your submission.

To date Arianna and I continue to grow as with our love, and to date we have yet to have an argument and that is the truth, and it is not because she is not allowed to speak or ask questions, it is because of our communication.

Unfortunately for many when they first meet a New Dominant , one of the first words out of his mouth is. I am going to train you , I am going to teach you my ways.
That is the last thing you hear about training , unless you fuck up then it is brought back up about how his training has helped you.

Once that statement is made the first time you meet , your relationship becomes sexual and nothing more. There is little to no communication , there is no structure, there is nothing but you on your knees or on your back. Don’t get me wrong some are very happy with a situation like Ive stated above.
I am also sure some of you have experienced just what I just spoke about, and it is really sad you continue to follow such a dumb ass.

Your caught up in the moment , your caught up in the awe of things because you are now owned , and it is clear you the sub or slave really has no clear definition of the lifestyle.
What is even more disturbing you really do not have a clue as to what your looking for, you just know your looking for something.
You really have no clear definition , what the lifestyle really means.

When I started my journey I knew exactly what I was looking for in a partner. I knew the height, the weight , the personality. I had a clear picture in my head of how I wanted to live. I refused to settle for less because I knew inside I was better, I knew I deserved better and I refused to settle for less.

Life today is good , it could not get any better , and it is more than I ever dreamed possible, but that is because I had patience.

Your training is never ending because we change, as humans our needs change on a daily basis, so we either lose or we adapt. I can assure you it is much easier to adapt.

Once you have everything in place , it is just daily communication to keep the flow of things going. I cannot stress enough how much these two words mean. Consistent and consistency. You should have post it notes all over your home with these two words, and you should live by them and refuse to settle for any less.

Here is the thing , you already know your submissive, you already know you want to submit. You know your a slave , you already know you want to serve.
You do not want to be told to, you do not want someone to demand you submit. You should want to be in a place where you can do so willingly.
You want someone to step in and mold you.

You want a Dominant who can take what you have to offer and perfect it, and there is such a thing as perfection. You want someone who wants to grow with you and care enough to have the need to guide you.

You want someone who is going to be there for you, when times are good and when they are bad, you want someone who will understand your neediness and not see it as a weakness. You want someone who really understands you.

It is not science , it is not even math. It is both of you being who you are and wanting the same thing out of life. That my friend is not asking for a kidney.

Arianna grows almost daily , and now she is at the point to where she is able to express your inner thoughts and her needs , and it is me who adapts to her needs . In turn this allows her to grow and it gives her a chance to explore her submission…

The road is not hard and you can prevent pot holes.

Consistency

Vile

Words And Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Portocol, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The slave must adapt, The World Of BDSM, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Slavery, Total Submission, TPE, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

One thing I do during training is, I utilize what is called speaking in thirds. This is something that is common in the Gorean lifestyle.

To me speaking in thirds has a purpose, and the purpose is to make one focus, to think, to think before they speak.

The words tend to have more meaning, and the slave is able to explains things better if she has to think before speaking.

Speaking in thirds gives one a total different aspect of who and what they are, it is like a reminder, and it teaches self discipline.

Once I start training I use the technique for a couple of weeks or sometimes I will use as a form of punishment, again to make the slave think.

When a Dominant uses the word Train, it is good to ask what he hopes to get out of it, and how the training is going to benefit you ?

So the night before last we were laying in bed, I was watching shark week, Bah Humbug, and I get an email. Guess from who? Yup Arianna, I was like what but sometimes she is able to express herself better writing things down, or in an email , than talking sometimes and I do understand her reasoning.

Arianna was expressing interest in speech restriction, and using the term your property when addressing me.

Her reasoning was it would make her feel a deeper submission, not only speaking in thirds but using the word property.

Once you give up full control , and you learn to follow the rules, protocols, it becomes a habit, and when things are a habit there are times we do not even realize we are doing them.

That is how Arianna feels at times, everything just falls into place and she does not see her submission.

That is why I have said in the past it is very important for the Dominant to remain consistent on a daily basis. If you say something, then mean what you say. If you say your going to do something then do it.

Although I am not Gorean I do follow many of the protocols, and I am consistent.

I can also tell you what rules work for one does not work for another. It would be almost impossible for every slave or submissive to have the same rules.

What protocols, and rituals that worked for one will not work for another. Every Slave or sub is different, their habits are different, but more so their needs…

Behavior Modification, changing the way one thinks or acts, in public or private.  Changing ones thoughts, or how they view things.

This can be done, if the Dominant is true to the relationship , but just as I tell those who are submissive, I tell the Dominants the same thing. Be careful what you ask for.

The best way to kick off your training, is for both to be able to take a vacation, and no I am not joking. You have kinda like a 5 to 7 day mini boot camp.

Before you say anything Arianna has been there, and she can tell you that her changes have only been positive.  Being able to let your mind go, and just flow with your training, but truthfully training can only be successful if you trust the one your with.

So there are some who wish to move into a deeper submission, even after training, the training never really stops, it does continue and it is daily maintenance.

The changing of one word , yes that is all it takes, just as Arianna stated in her email.

Instead of using the word I, she wanted to use your slave, or this slave.

About a month ago , I instructed Arianna to use the words Thank You. Thank You for everything.

Thank you for letting me sit, shower, bathroom. After taking the first bite of food, Thank You.

This all falls under Behavior Modification, but you as the Dominant you need to remain consistent.

You know what I truly find disturbing is a Dominant who is not really a Dominant, but enters a relationship with a Baby Girl a Submissive, under false pretenses. Promising one thing but not being able to deliver.

The Dominant not thinking of the negative effects he is having on someones life, the damage that is being done, and playing with someones emotions.

Then it is clearly not the Submissive who is the problem, it is the Dominant who will put all the blame on the sub or baby girl because the relationship did not work. When in fact the Dominant either had no intentions of making things work, or he did not have a clue.

Changing one word, can change ones life.

problem

Vile

Rituals And Protocols

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, anger, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, emotional, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, training your slave, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , on August 11, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

In any D’s or M’s relationship Rituals are needed, just as protocols. Both of those words equal structure. You need some type of structure in a lifestyle relationship for it to work, because if you do not implement anything your relationship will not be able to move forward.

This also depends on how much effort your Dominant wants to put into the relationship. It depends on what he wants out of the relationship.

So ask yourself this question or questions. Am I truly a Submissive? Am I truly a Slave? If so what is it I need? Do I need to follow rules? Will I follow rules if giving to me? Is your life turned upside down now ? Do you want it correct if it is? Is your life out of control? Do you want it corrected if it is?

Maybe your just a bedroom submissive. Maybe you just want to give up control once the door is closed. Let your Dom have his way, once finished and the door is open your back to the girl next door. There is nothing wrong with that.

Rituals may vary from relationship to relationship but I can assure you they are needed. Arianna has several. One being greeting me at the door, kneeling arms stretched out head down. This is something she implemented on her own. The other is kneeling while I am in the shower, once out she dries me off, a ritual.

The Rituals you have in your relationship depends on how much time and effort the Dom wants to invest in the relationship. There are well a lot within the lifestyle who do not practice or implement any type of rituals.

I have had other Doms talk to me and they say Vile man you need to let up, give your slave some breathing room, what is up with all of these rules and protocols ? You need to let her live.

First of all that is a blind statement, second you do not have a clue to what you are talking about. If you did you would not be running off at the mouth.

While we are out in public at a munch or at MasT this is how people know Arianna, they do not have a clue as far as what goes on behind closed doors. So to make such a statement I need to let up a little is really uncalled for.

You do not know what she requires, you do not know her needs, you do not know the base of our relationship. You know us as Master and Slave.

Even while at a MasT meeting a couple of months ago Arianna and I were pointed out. The statement was we are very unique . I find that hard to believe either you are Master and Slave or your not.

To make a statement I need to let up. You have no idea what the dynamics is of our relationship. You do not have a clue to her needs, or what she needs to survive on a daily basis. You do not know the amount of care that goes into her daily.

When entering a relationship these are two important questions that should be asked if not brought up. If the Dominant brings it up then ask questions.

The truth be known there are not many relationships that require neither, but my question is, if you do not have rituals or protocols what is your training like. How are you being trained ? What rules do you have, these fall under protocols, and in some cases rituals.

Without Rituals , without protocols you have no structure, if you have no structure you are not able to expand, you will not be allowed to grow, and in most cases your relationship will be based more on sex.

If you are being trained then you are following protocols, you are following rituals. Unless your training is just doing the head bobble,

I do not think the above applies to most D’s relationships or Daddy Baby Girl relationships. but with the Daddy Girl there still has to be structure…

So when do you find out if your Dominant is not real ? It takes about 30 days for the new to wear off. This is when you will notice the rules are not really being enforced , and most everything that was promised has gone out the window.

Sometimes if you are in a Long Distance Relationship it may last a little longer, because the pictures you send or the videos will begin to grow old, and not living close by it is almost impossible to keep the submissive or slave in check.

If your wanting an M’s relationship ladies the first 90 days will be your ball buster. The first 90 days will tell if one your a slave and two if your up for the task.

I myself run a very strict home, and I am constantly pulling back on the leash…. I increase the structure, I increase the protocols , but I have not added any new rules there is no need.

Once you have everything in place and you have put rules in place, once you begin the training, and everything is running smoothly you really no longer need rules. The protocols start to replace them, although some would say protocols are rules, and in a way they are.

Even if you come across a little resistance , as long as you the Dominant remains calm and stays on tract your training will continue to go well.
What will really throw the sub or slave off track is when they notice how calm you are, but as soon as you fall into that arguing mode you are not different than the guy across the street.

focused

Everything you teach, everything you show , is about focus, you want their undivided attention and nothing less.

Vile

My Views On BDSM Courtship

Posted in bdsm, Dominant, Dominants, fucking, slave, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, training your slave, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , on July 22, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The first 20 minutes of conversation is when most of the mistakes are made when it comes to a Baby Girl or a Submissive. This is when you give out information that you should keep to yourself until you think something may just work out.

Meeting someone in our lifestyle is probably more difficult than finding a horse in a room full of horse shit, I am being optimistic here. If you have a room full of horse shit there has to be a horse in it somewhere….

One of the first questions you are asked is , What are your limits ? My thoughts are why is such information needs so soon ? You just met you do not even know if your compatible.
What is the shortest skirt you own ? Do you ever go out without panties ? Do you wear Heels ?
Again you just met, you have the compatibility thing still yet to come

Do you like anal sex ? Do you swallow ? Again the compatibility thing, your still not sure.

When you were dating in the vanilla world, I am almost sure these questions never came up. So why would you think anything is different now ?

If a Dominant ask you any of those questions in the first day of meeting , online probably, how much respect does that show he has towards you ?

Send me a few pics so I can see who I am chatting with. Yea okay sure, then you send and he ask for nudes. Again why would you send a nude pic to someone you have not even met ?

All of you have seen this, and many of you have given in to such a dumb ass.
No real Dominant would even consider asking such questions, because they are not a need to know so early on.
Why would you tell a complete stranger you love being fucked up the ass ? Why would you tell a complete stranger you love sucking cock ?
Think about it does it really make any sense ?

Let me tell you something, the reason so many who are submissive or Baby Girls, and I will talk about the baby Girls here in a little bit. The reason your relationships are not working is because you are bowing to soon and to easily. You are giving out to much information to soon.

The courtship should be no different than any other. Okay you may feel obligated to call him Sir, or Mam which ever the case may be, but other than that you are under no obligation to submit until you are 100% sure.

Meeting your new Daddy or Dominant for the first time in person. This is still the learning about each other.
What kinds of food, movies, music, travel , everything this again falls under the compatibility thing.

I think we should start your training today. Okay fine what will my training consist of? How is your method of training going to benefit me ?
I am going to give you a list of rules and you need to memorize them by next week. Sure I will do that , I am sure you have them memorized so tell me what they are..

Your training , is probably the most important part of your relationship. The rules that are giving to you, and yes protocols are the invisible leash.

To pass out rules someone must know you. Someone must know you inside out, and outside in.

The Collar is earned it is not giving. To offer you a Collar on your first meeting that is a clear sign you are having dinner with an idiot.

Submitting is more than sucking cock, submitting is more than allowing someone to fuck you up the ass.
Submitting is you being yourself, following the rules that were giving to you, your protocols, doing your daily task that have been giving to you. Following instructions. This is done on a consistent basis, not just when you feel like it.

If you take the proper steps, and you ask the questions your suppose to, you could stop 99% of your grief. If you slowed down and took the time to think clearly you could stop 99% of your grief. If you found your own man instead of someone whose married you could stop 99% of your grief.

What is your training going to consist of ? You need to get a clear answer. How am I going to benefit from your training ? Again get a clear answer.

There is so much you can do to stop the bull shit before it becomes shit…love

Vile

Training Arianna

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Adapt, anal sex, Anger Issues, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Cheating Dominant, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominant, Ego, emotional, Emotions, Gorean Portocol, Jealous, Married Dominant, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, micromanage, Micromanagement, molding your slave, owning a slave, Patience, Protocol, Protocol public, Punishment, references, Rough Sex, Rules, slave, slave positions, Spanking, Speaking In Thirds, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Text, The World Of BDSM, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Power Exchange, TPE, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive, Training your wife, Vile Woods on FaceBook on June 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Training still continues today, after two years we still continue to add. What is more interesting is Arianna continues to think of ways to give up more control. Truth be known she would be happy if she could stay home 24/7 chained to the floor, or most of her day spent in a cage.

When you hear the words A no rights Slave if you want to know the definition you can look to Arianna to find out that answer. Some take the no rights thing to an extreme but we all have common sense or I would hope. You would never want to do anything that would cause your slave any harm, or push them to the point of breaking. That is why I have stated over and over it is very important to know your submissive or slave inside and out.

What do I mean when I say no rights. First Arianna has no say so at all, before you jump the gun this was something she needed and wanted. This is why at times it is hard for a submissive or slave to find the right Dominant. If he is in it just for the game he will want no responsibility , meaning he is just after the pussy. The minute you show you are the slightest bit needy you will see a fast change in the Doms attitude.

When you speak of living D’s compared to living an M;s relationship there is a huge difference. A submissive has the right to say no, a submissive submits on their terms. While it is true a slave could really do the same if it really came down to it, but for the most that is not the frame of mind a slave wants or needs.

While there are many different resources and books on the market today, if you are a new Dominant or your interested in exploring the lifestyle then I recommend, http://bestslavetraining.com/ There is just a huge amount of information that is provided, it is almost endless.

The new Dominant who is just entering the lifestyle or the young Dominant I truly recommend this site. Also to those who are submissive it is good reading and it will show and teach you about how a D’s Or M’s relationship should truly be, again a lot of good info.

So you take a Slave and you mold them into someone you need. I myself had a very clear picture of how I saw my life living as a Master , and fully owning a Slave. In reality in today’s times you cannot legally own someone, but to be able to achieve that frame of mind is truly an unreal feeling.

You take someone and mold them into someone who fits exactly what your looking for when it comes to an M’s relationship. This is why once I started my search it took well over a year, as a matter of fact I was at the point of saying fuck it I am done, because there is no one out there who truly wants to live as a Slave. I was at the point of packing everything up and I was going to move overseas, I already had a job in place, and a place to live.

Then I met Arianna , I could tell just by talking to her she was different, the way she sat, talked , the way she communicated, the way she carried herself, the way she expressed herself and explaining why she needed to be a slave. I asked several times a Slave are you sure a Slave and not a submissive.

Then as she began to go into details about how she saw herself living as a Slave, I myself began to have doubts about taking on so much responsibility. Now it was I who had to decide if I wanted to take that step. You know I never really gave it much thought until Arianna shared how she wanted and needed to be treated. Rules , Structure , the giving up total freedom.

So I had a very short time to think about if I wanted to take such a deep step, I also have a very short time to put a plan together so it was very important to spend as much time with Arianna as I could , so I could really get to know her inside and out.

Arianna had been going through some very bad times before I met her , she was like a kid turned lose in a toy store but on an adult level, and she was very close to having a break down. She had been seeing a Doctor who had been prescribing the wrong medication for years, and every time Arianna went for a visit it was always her fault. So shortly after we met Arianna did in fact have a break down. So it was I who found a Doctor, and the doctor put her back on the right track. In the meantime I had come across Journals that Arianna had written, hundreds of them, note books dating back some 15 years, full from front to back. I spent a day and three pots of coffee just reading. I could not believe how one person could possibly endure so much hurt and pain. So we talked about the journals and I explained it was a need to get rid of the past, so we sat down and went through the journals and one by one putting each one in the trash. There were a few I did allow her to keep, those with poems that she had written or ones she felt really close to. I had someones life right before my eyes. A true story of a life full of pain and confusion, and people who did not understand her.

I suppose there comes a point where people want to care about someone until you have to put a little effort back into the relationship, once it becomes a little work to make the relationship work it is no longer adventitious so you slowly begin to start being pushed out, or everything is just blamed on you.

You can do it, there is nothing wrong with you. I do not understand how or why you feel like you do, I just want you to fix it.

Now my challenge had grown ever bigger because I had to change my whole plan, I had to sit down and think and think fast. I knew she wanted to be trained but I also had to consider her health factor, on the mental side of it. Her past relationships with Dominants had been abusive, verbally and physically and neither one of them had a clue who Arianna really was. Neither one really knew Arianna as a person , neither one knew her thoughts or needs nor did they really care. At the same time I had to stand firm, I had to implement rules, put structure into place.

Shortly after her break down I was called in to meet with her doctor, and after explaining our relationship she even said Arianna was in a good place, and the structure I provided was good for her..

You can only be trained if you actually live the D’s or M’s lifestyle 24/7. If you do not live together there is noway to even implement a plan. The Dominant is not there to enforce the structure, rules or protocols. Some may disagree and if you do I would like to see your plan because I am going to lay my plan out here.

If you do not live together you really do not have any control, you as the Dominant may think you have control but you are not there. Being in control via text, chat, on the phone, Skype does not compare to being able to wrap your hands around her throat and looking straight into her eyes, and speaking, then you are and have control.

If you are only seeing your Dominant once or maybe twice a month you are not living the true D’s more so if your just meeting up in a motel room, you are only experiencing the kink side of it, your there for a couple of hours maybe the night, the Dom leaves happy and you leave full of cum until the next meeting.

Training your Slave I am going to leave the submissive out of this picture for now because the Submissive has the right to say no. The Submissive puts limits on their submission. Just as the Bottom the bottom for the most only submits during play and will tell you before hand what is going to happen.

I believe many who are new to the lifestyle and who are submissive are being told they are a slave when in fact they are only submissive. Many men who claim to be the Fifty Shades of Grey for what ever reason prefer the word slave, or they try and plant a seed in your mind to make you think. You already have a pretty clear picture of what your limits are and you should stand by them.

This is why I did not want a D’s relationship, I had tried a D’s relationship several times and it just did not pan out. Once I started my search it was well over a year before I stumbled across Arianna, and it was like she just fell from the sky right onto my Lap

When training your slave you are taking bad habits and changing them with new habits. You are implementing new habits into ones life. The thing that really got into my mind was Arianna really had no habits, there was nothing she did on a regular basis that you would actually call a habit.

The same with rules and structure you are implementing new habits. I will say this none of Arianna’s rules are sexual. Rules are meant to improve ones life, to help guide, provide structure. safety , and make one feel secure. Ive read many post and blogs where rules are posted and they are sexually based. I really find this to be really disturbing , because the Dom or Daddy is really doing nothing to improve.

If you do not get to know your Submissive or Slave inside, out and you start implementing things and you do not know them on a emotional playing field you could really fuck someone up. If you have a submissive who suffers from any type of depression and you don’t know the medications they are taking, again you can really fuck someone up. If you do not ask these questions in depth during your first meeting , then it is apparent you really do not give a fuck, your only thinking of yourself.

You take someones life and you turn it completely around, you take a human and turn them inside out, you change everything about them right down to their personality, in some cases even the way they think.

I started training Arianna the day she moved in. I did not say okay your training has started, or this is what we are going to do. The training is something that we had been talking about but I really did not go into any great details.

I have talked about this before but I did not really go into any great detail. One huge mistake that most Dominants make or Daddy’s once in a relationship they tend to isolate the submissive, they cut them off from all friends and sometimes family. My train of thought is this is a huge mistake, because you still have to allow them some freedom, because there is a breaking point. The Submissive or Slave does need a break, a day off , time to visit friends, a girls night out, a day with the family. Doms who do not allow this have a very low self esteem, they are very insecure, jealous, they have trust issues, and probably ego driving, these are the abusers be it verbal or physical. Your relationship is a power struggle between the two of you, your resisting on all levels but you do not know why you cannot fully submit.

The first week we lived together we were like your every day normal Vanilla couple, we talked laughed, joked. The 8th day I restricted certain areas of the house. I walked Arianna around the house showing her where she was allowed to sit, and the furniture was not anyplace she was allowed. This was practiced on a daily basis. She now had to have permission to enter the bed. She now had to have permission to shower, to go to the bathroom. She now had to have permission to play on her phone, watch TV . When we ate dinner she sat on the floor next to me, and at times I would feed her. While in the house there were only two places she was allowed to sit. On the floor next to the sofa, or on the floor next to me at the dinner table. In the morning time I would allow her to sit at the table while we had our morning coffee.

Over a period of ninety days I implemented 20 rues, all of which were meant for self improvement. Again none of the rules were sexual. To gain more control, I implemented the speaking in thirds, may this slave, can this slave, this slave would like. Speaking in thirds is an awesome training tool, but I use only for a short time, or at times I will use as a form of punishment

I changed Arianna demeanor meaning the way she walked, the way she spoke to people. I implemented protocols for private and public. I trained her for in house service for when company was over.

One of the first things I did when Arianna and I first met I introduced her to others who were in the lifestyle, people I had known for 20 plus years. This I believe gave me greater credibility in her eyes, because she knew then I was who I said I was. We went out to eat with other couples in the lifestyle, we were invited to friends of mine for dinner , people just had to meet Arianna, and everyone welcomed her with open arms.

The came the service test I invited a Master and Slave over. Arianna and I cooked a rockin dinner, and Arianna served, and before we ate she either stood behind me or knelt beside me while we talked. That night she was the perfect host.

During this time sex was kept minimal and only on my terms. I said spread I used her and I got off, most of the time without even speaking, until she asked permission to exit the bed.

Arianna now needed permission to shower , she now needed permission to go to the bathroom. There were no exceptions. I now controlled what Arianna ate while at work, and how much she was able to spend.

Arianna now had to keep a daily journal one in the car so she could write down the time and mileage, when she left the house to go to work, when she arrived to work, when she left from work. If she needed to stop by the store if we had not discussed prior she needed permission. Once home she had another journal. This was so she could write down the time she started task, and the finish times.

I then implemented a few of the Gorean slave positions I did not use daily but when I did they were used mainly for humiliation to sort of remind her who and what she was.

Sex I love to fuck, I cannot remember the last time I made love. I do not even think it is possible for me any more, I love to fuck. There are three holes and I use which ever I want without asking.

You know years ago I never would of thought you could actually teach someone the way you wanted your cock sucked, or the way you wanted them to spread while your fucking, or if you told someone to lube your cock and they immediately got on their hands and knees and reached around spreading their ass open with out having to tell them, or to snap your finger and that was the notification to suck your cock.  There is nothing like the feeling knowing that your Slave lives to please you.

Okay so going on a little over two years now, wow time has flown by. Arianna has been punished one time and one time only. I usually do not spank as a form of punishment but this time it was needed. It reminded her of what she did, and now she thinks before acting, because she knows in our house there are two things you take note to, Choices and consequences.

To be able to train someone or be trained if you do not live together it is almost impossible, its like putting a screen door on a submarine and not expecting water to come in.

Now before you jump the gun and say wow vile your an asshole, or your mean and cruel, I am going to say 90% of the above was Arianna’s idea this is how she saw herself living as a slave, A slave not a submissive.

We were only able to achieve such a relationship with constant communication. Communication is the magic key, and if your submissive or slave does not feel they can talk to you about anything on any level, then you will never have their total submission, and your relationship will crash and fucking burn.

If you are seeing a married Dominant who is cheating on his wife, you will never be able to explore your submission to the depths you need, you will never be allowed to be who you are, most of all you will never be fully free.

One thing that just blows my mind and maybe someone can answer this question. If your seeing a Married so called Dom or Daddy, what do you think about while your sucking his cock? Do you think about how his wife sucks his cock? Maybe you think about him fucking his wife? Maybe he fucked her in the ass and did not shower before coming to see you? Do any of these things go through your mind? Do you ever think he just fucked his wife and your cleaning his cock off? Worst if you think your the only one he’s banging if hes married, WOW . Just keep texting or trying to call see how long you have to wait, go on be miserable. Or if your texting stops abruptly for no reason. You know what the deal is, you really know but you ignore it. You will sit there and wait and wait and wait, now that is really pathetic no matter what page your on, that is truly pathetic, and you deserve everything you wish for. If you were willing to enter such a relationship, LISTEN TO ME, you get what you deserve.. Get upset with me I did not do anything I am just speaking the truth.

More to come here shortly.

Guys you can have the world, you can have the perfect relationship, you can have anything you want or need, it is at your finger tips. All you have to do is be real and stop playing games. If your married and your not happy this is for male and female get the fuck out, just fucking tell who ever your living with, Hey I am done, I am outta of here. Don’t bring your drama into their life fucking leave.

As I am nearing 250.000 visitors Sometime next week I want to share the different country’s that have visited. This is really awesome to know that people from all over the world are reading my blog….

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Vile