Archive for the training your slave Category

She Is Your Bitch Run Your House

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, Behavior Modification, Consistency, Master And Slave, Punishment, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave with tags , , , on March 26, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have had a few Dominants approach me , telling me that they let their feelings get in the way. When it comes to control , punishing or even giving out task , the biggest is when it comes to enforcing rules. The feeling of guilt like you are abusing someone , mistreating , being unfair , being to strict. Well! You did not have these feelings before you entered the relationship ,or when you both agreed to enter the relationship , you had everything planned out right ? You told the Submissive you were a dominant , you told her you wanted to take control , you gave out rules right?

Many over time begin to get this deep sense of guilt , like everything is abuse , maybe mistreating their partner but remember these are thing that were agreed on before you entered the relationship , so was it just Dom frenzy or maybe just a deep fantasy and instead.

When you both sit down and start talking about each others needs and most important what they Dominant lays out about how he envisions how the house will be ran. It is okay as a slave or submissive to express your feelings but to be outright argumentative is nothing more than disrespect and should not be tolerated. When should you question your Master ? When you see a bad decision  is going to affect you and your house , put you in danger or possibly homeless. This should include while out in public , if you have something to say it should be in private , calling your Master out in public is nothing more than being disrespectful. If there are no consequences to ones actions then the Master is no longer in control.

Neither Master or slave should be afraid to speak up , if you do not communicate the slave in a respectful manner the Master has no way of knowing what you are thinking or what problems you may have until you the slave blows up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master/slave_(BDSM)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master”, whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Keeping that head space , one the collar if you the slave should ever have a doubt about your position in the home then reach up and grab your collar , if your Master requires you to wear one. It seems today very few Master require a collar for what ever reason , maybe he does not want to spend the money on one or he simply does not care. Putting rituals and protocols in place. Putting things in place even slave positions keeps the head space and is a reminder. Everything put in place has to be consistent or they will not work.

http://www.bdsmwiki.info/Protocol

A protocol is any defined, enforced code of behavior, and or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic (such as a power exchange relationship).

Protocols are a set of governing rules that dictate the body, behavior and attitudes through an enforced code of behavior and/or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or interpersonal dynamic.

Protocols are often referred to those found within a power exchange relationship. The reason there is no set rules about universal protocols is because every power exchange relationship is different, not just based on relationship style, but more specifically on the individuals involved in the relationship and their needs and wants.

Best Practices indicate that it is unreasonable to expect that others should or must respect your particular set of protocols if you have not negotiated for such things with them.

Why would a Master argue with a slave ? What sense does it make for either to even argue with each other? If a Master will argue with his slave then he becomes the bitch.

The Master

http://bdsmwiki.info/Master

Values , and this is interesting….

Some commonly emphasized values consistent with best practices concerning a Master may include but are not limited to: (in no particular order)

  • Honorable behavior in word and deed.
  • Is in touch with their wants and needs; gives clearly stated expectations, orders and instructions.
  • A clear understanding of their own personal limitations and failings while consistently seeking to learn more and better themselves.
  • The ability to respect and forgive the personal limitations and failings of those that serve them while still helping them push towards and achieve self betterment.
  • Possession of sound judgement, logic, reliability and the ability to keep their personal affairs in reasonable order.
  • An amazing degree of control of temper and impulse.
  • Recognizes both service and Mastery as callings worthy of respect.

You set the rules , you sit the rules and protocols and you enforce consistently ,  Your house you the Master sets up how things will be ran. Many at sometime will begin to feel guilty about enforcing rules or afraid of rejection , or maybe even your slave will leave you. It is the slave who has to adapt to your way of living.

You cannot change up the rules after you have put them in place , rules can be amended but there are some who will change just so they can punish.

Keeping that head space , protocols and rituals along with a few slave positions , all of these not only induce good behavior but they are a training tool. Having to ask permission to do anything and everything even when it comes to scheduling a free day with family or friends.

Use your property and use on a regular basis , the slave is there for your use , your enjoyment and it is up to you if you let your slave get off. Play and do not share what you plan on doing but it is good to give warnings throughout the week. Take what you want when you want and how you want , this will also keep your slave in that head space.

A good Master shows control , not only at home but while out it is the Master who sets the example. The way your slave acts in public is a direct reflection of your training.

Do not make demands that are not reasonable , do not make demands that will set the slave up for failure. Do not make demands that would cause the slave harm or get into trouble.

Positive reinforcement goes along way , several times a week I tell my girls how much I appreciate them and the things they do. Reward when the slave does something good. The system put in place should be everything is earned nothing is giving. All of the privileges are just that privileges and anything can be taken back.

Restrict the space with in the home the slave is allowed to sit and the way the slave sits. While out my girls sit with hands in lap and are prohibited from crossing their legs. While standing the hands are clasped in front. All of these are reminders of the slaves position within the home.

The Master needs down time a time to relax clear your head , time alone , this is just as important as the slave having down time..

You can change plans when they are not working but never change goals.

 

Why Not Give Her A Chance

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Dominant and Submissive, Slave, Submissive, Train your slave, training your slave with tags , , , , on August 12, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was going to blog about something else but as I started this topic came to mind. I have over 2000 post but I do not believe Ive touched on this subject or if I did I am sure this will cover different material.

I had a friend and the key word is had , Arianna and Lynn had met him before a couple of times but in the past two years he has dated some two hundred women and met them on different dating sites. Every women he has met has had something wrong ranging from ADHD , to Depression , Anxiety , and a couple of girls back Asperger’s Syndrome.

Some men or Doms enter a relationship looking for the bad , looking for something wrong. Maybe the way they dress , which you can change , hair which you can change , they way they eat , which you can change , the way they communicate which you can change, their thought process which you can change or if you find nothing wrong at all you make something up.

If you are A Dominant , Master or Owner you have the ability to change anything in your relationship , you can change any of the above , you can alter ones way of thinking , but and there is a but, it will take some time and work on the Doms side , it will mean time invested.

Now this does not mean to be the knight on the White Horse , this does not mean to rescue. This does not mean to have someone dump all their problems on your plate and say hey fix this. If you meet someone and there is a container full of problems and they truly want a relationship you as the Dominant can give direction on how to fix everything but you should not enter any type of relationship until said problems are fixed. If the Submissive truly wants a relationship he or she will take the proper steps to begin fixing things if they are not willing to put forth a effort then drop them and move on , because some broke dick will step in and rescue. If you rescue it will not work , once everything is fixed you are gone.

On a mental level there are just some areas you do not want to step into. This does not mean someone is broke , no one is broke it just means what ever the problem is , is more than you can handle. You also have to look at the medications someone is taking , for instance someone who is suffering from Schizophrenia , I would think it would not be fair to even attempt to bring he or she into the lifestyle. Someone suffering from depression this does not rule out but what medications are they taking and why? It takes time to get to know someone but in out way of life it moves at subsonic speed. Many times you find yourself as a submissive sucking cock on the first date , or being tied up and getting your ass beat or your brains fucked out of you. Yes the first date how in the fuck does this happen? Then within  a day even then after you were fucked you find a collar around your neck and the dude knows absolutely nothing about you but and there is a but that will probably be the last time you wear the collar or maybe just during play.

So instead of just looking for the bad , concentrate on the good , find the good qualities , but more important look at the possibility’s , look at the quality’s , look at the compatibility, but more important what is the potential, look at the potential and what you could see in the future.  Look at how sincere their submission is , listen to their words look at their eyes. What are their goals ? What are your goals? If you look at everything meaning the whole picture you the Dominant may want to invest some time.

Start off small a few rules , give correction if needed , but this in no way means beating someone. You can go much farther speaking with someone adult to adult explaining what was done wrong or why a rule was broken. Barking orders does not make you a Dominant. Someone with good communications skills , someone who can listen , someone who can  give direction when looking out for the relationship.

Seeing potential in someone is very hard if your just interested in getting the pussy. Once you have banged her everything else goes out the window you no longer care because you hunted , you found , and you conquered.

Some are just happy with the kink , some are happy with just having a weekend fuck buddy , but there are many looking for more. Im thinking just how much of your life do you as a male or female want to waste. We as humans are a commodity and as we grow older our value drops. Our value drops each day , each month and each year for those of you who continue to play games. There will come a time when you roll over in bed and find yourself alone.

Seeing potential in someone , willing to invest time in someone can be very rewarding. If you are a experienced Dominant or Master and you put together a good training program , the rewards are not limited. If both are serious and in the right frame of mind , the growing never ends.

I pride myself on my relationship maintaining a drama free home with no problems. Make no mistake managing two can be a task at times but for the most everything just falls into place. Working together as a team makes a huge difference , and communicating. Every night at dinner that is our talk time and no cell phones are allowed , this is when everyone can speak freely about what is on their mind.

Sometimes we fail to see what a submissive or slave has to offer , it goes way beyond the the kink or just having someone around to clean. If your looking for a maid then you should move in with your mother.

Some Dominants you meet are insecure , emotional , and controlling. Those who have temper problems , a Dom who has a temper is a total no , no. Becoming a Dominant is a long learning process and many relationships will fail until you have found yourself and you have found the one who fits you. My advice would be when meeting someone take your time get to know your potential partner. Get to know them as a person and best friend before taking that huge step. Our way of life is so much deeper than just having a BDSM relationship you have to have some type of vanilla in your life..

Depression can be handled , weight can be handled , someone who is insecure can be handled.  Someone who is not organized can be handled , Someone who is emotional can be handled. Most anything can be handled if you the Dominant wants to take on such responsibility’s. Its very important if you start something finish it. Before you start make sure its a task you want to take on. If something does not work right it is on you the Dominant your the one in control , your the one who is training , your the one who makes sure everything stays in order..

If you are in a long distance relationship most of the above does not apply, in order to be in full control you must be able to reach out and touch , if your doing it by phone , or cam your playing a game…

 

Rules And Training

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, cock sucking, codependent, Collar, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, training your slave on January 17, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I get emails from Submissive’s and Slaves asking me questions about training and rules. Meeting Doms for the first time.

You meet on a dating site you send messages back and forth and the Dom hounds you for your phone number until you give in.

The first questions are how long have you been in the lifestyle, you state you are new to the lifestyle but you want to learn. BOOM first mistake you are hooked. You start texting back and forth hes not really asking questions about you he is more interested in what you’re limits are , are you bi sexual ? Do you swallow ? Do you do anal ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Do you ever go without panties ? How often do you masturbate ?

So after being hounded you agree to meet because you are tired of the pressure. The place is classy probably a Denny’s in the corner . He has instructed you to wear a short skirt with no panties. You have second thoughts but agree after all you want to make a good impression. You are instructed certain time to text because the Dom is busy with work and works really crazy hours and when you do text most of the time it takes several hours to get a response or even a day or so.

When you meet the Dom still knows very little about you or you’re family and friends , what you enjoy doing in you’re spare time, music or food , just the kink side of things.

You are instructed not to make eye contact and you are told to address him as Sir. He does most of the talking mainly because you are afraid to ask any questions even though some of it does not sound right.

He spends a great deal of time just talking about himself , and bragging about everything he has done and ask very few questions about you.

Most likely hew ill pull out a collar he bought at Walmart or petco and throws it at you and you are now owned..

Now you’re training starts you walk out and get his car he unzips his pants and you are instructed to suck his cock. Keep in mind you have no clue who this dude really is, you have no clue where he lives because you do not have his address, you don’t even know where he works, and you are about to suck his dick.

You know in you’re mind this cannot possibly be right because you are seeking more but you will blow him just to please. These are guys who do not have a clue nor do they care about you or the out come.

The most difficult about training is being able to sit down and out a plan together. What worked with the last relationship will not work on the next. Every Slave or Submissive has a different personality , they have different needs and the out come of the training will be different.

You’re questions , why do you want to train me ? What is the end goal you have in mind ? What am I going to get out of you’re training ? What are you going to get out of training me ? Now this next question will stump a Dom who has no clue. What are you’re protocols public and private ? What type of structure will you provide? Do you have any Ex issues ? That is a huge biggie many Ex’s still have a hold on his belt. Am I going to come first ? Will I have 24/7 access to you ?

A few of the first questions a Dom will ask before even knowing you’re favorite color is are you Bi ? Are you poly ? Do you mind if I see other women ? What are you’re limits ? That is usually the first or second question believe it or not. Do you swallow ? Yes a lot of women do not. Do you like Anal sex? Everything is about sex and nothing about you.

To train you is to know you , You say you are a Slave but maybe you are not sure so there are questions that has to be asked and you have to be completely honest.

To train you is to know you , how you think , what makes you think the way you do, you’re habits , the likes , the dislikes what areas if any need improvement.

This should be you’re train of thought , although I have needs not wants but needs , my main purpose is to serve and please. The train of thought should be if my Dom is happy I am happy. Second you have to be sure you are getting the whole package.

There was a conversation about training but you enter the relationship and nothing changes. The only thing that has changed is he is barking out orders and he likes to beat you.  This is where communication comes in you should and have the right to ask questions, you have the right to get answers. If you ask a question and you get yelled and it happens on a regular basis then maybe you need to rethink you’re situation. Never I mean never let feelings get in the way of happiness that will fuck you up every time.

You have to be truthful from the start , if you tell the Dom you love being fucked up the ass and when it comes time and you freak out it will not be good. Honest you have to be honest and not honest just to please.

The Dominant has to be honest , once rules are giving out they are set in stone. Down the road a Dom may revisit the rules and maybe there is one he feels you  do not need any longer. Once rules are in place a Dominant will not change just because he wants to punish you. The truth is a Submissive or Slave will strive to be the best they can be. Mistakes do happen I know this and so do other Dominants.  If a Dominant has enough protocols in place very few rules are needed if any. Protocols are the driving force of structure.

When you first meet a Dominant you meet on you’re terms and you’re terms only , you can even go as far as picking the place somewhere on public. You pick what you are going to wear and how you will address him. Many will demand that you call them Sir. That right is earned after you have full respect for them and not until. Submission is earned not giving. Most Doms who have no clue will try to give you a collar. This shows the fuck is a total idiot and nothing more. The collar is picked up from a pet store or walmart and is just tossed across the table and you are told to put it on, you are now owned lets start you’re training.

I have had failed relationships some I did not care about others I lost sight of direction, or I was stumped and had no idea which way to go. I knew what I wanted and needed but had no idea how to get there. I could picture the type of relationship I wanted but was stuck in first gear. Most relationships at that time were just a matter of convenience. I had pussy on a daily basis and someone to suck my cock. I knew going in it would not last and would only be around until I got bored or she got to clingy.

A dominant is not born over night , it is not something you just wake up one morning and say hey I want a submissive. There is growth , the wisdom, learning to control the anger , and finding ways to divert the anger to funnel it out of your system. Learning words are far worse than being physical. Bruises go away words do not, not that I condone being physical no man should ever hit a woman out of anger.

Observation , asking questions , thousands of questions , Observing , learning , communication , learning how the submissive thinks learning what they think the way they do. Learning their habits , their needs, their wants. Tv , music, hobbies, reading the submissive like a book. Once you have that down you can begin their training. Training that will be effective , training that will benefit both.

You Guys , you Dominants , Masters you can have anything you want , you can have anything you need, you can have anything you have ever dreamed of, it just takes a little effort on your behalf. You have to be willing to put as much time into building the relationship as you want out of it. One thing you cannot take more than you give, if you do it will never work..

Good Info. http://bestslavetraining.com/

 

 

I Am Going To Use You

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, commitment, Consistency, control, Master and slave relationship, Punishment, Slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, training your slave, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I want to be your friend , I want to be your best friend , I want to know everything about you  starting with your earliest memories. I want to know the foods you like, movies , music, hobbies.

I want to be by your side , I want to be the shoulder  you lean on , I want to be the one you know you can depend on. I want to hold you so I can feel your inner soul , your thoughts and your needs. I want inside your mind including the good and bad . I want to know your thoughts at all times, but most of all I want you to know you can come to me and speak openly. I want you to feel as if you can speak to me without fear , this is a need I have.

I am going to use you , you are for my pleasure , you are for my use. I do not want to make love I want to fuck , I do not want my dick sucked I want to fuck your mouth. You have three holes for my use and will use when I have the need.

I will tie you up, gag you and at times even leave my mark. You have moved from being my best friend to my slave and property.

I am going to train you to fit my needs, I am going to change your train of thought , I am going to implement rules which you will follow, I will put protocols in place in which you will follow. I will allow open communication that is a need for me.

I am not trying to change you, I am going by what you told me from the beginning , you expressed your needs , you told me you wanted and had a need to be owned.

I am going to train you , train you how to act while out in public , remember you are a direct reflection of me your Master. When out alone you are a direct reflection of me , our world is small but you never know who you may run into, so it is best to be on your best behaviour.

I will put rules and protocols in place and you will follow, I will punish when needed but I will not punish you for no reason.

I will make you mine, I will make you feel owned, I will make you want to feel owned, I will make you crave submission. I will make you.

Now you ask what do I get out of the relationship ?

You get my undivided attention , I am here for you 24/7. I give you open communication, I give you loyalty , I give you the security you need, the guidance you need. I will alway put you first in my life no matter where I am or what I am doing . Yes you get me and all of me.

I will walk proudly with you , I will be honored to have you at my side. I will talk to you not at you.

I want you to have friends , I will encourage you

I will make sure your needs are met, I will not push you to the point of breaking you, but most of all I will respect you.

Vile

 

 

BDSM And Discipline

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, consequences, Consistency, controlling, Discipline, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, Ego, fucking and sucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, punish, Punishment, Slave, Structure, Submission, training your slave, Training your submissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Discipline is something I do not look forward to nor do I set back and hope a rule will be broken. That takes way to much time and causes one to walk on egg shells….

My observation in the lifestyle most Discipline or punishment is in a  physical form and consist of pain and leaving black and blue marks , how ever I believe something that is looked over when others speak of being punished is aftercare.

Being punished the different forms , the main of course which is most commonly used is physical, which I have used in the past , but my way of thinking if a rule or protocol is broken 99% of the time it was a mistake. So I sit down and talk so I can find out what happened. Did something come up , or was it forgotten? The next question is what can be done to prevent it from happening again , what steps are going to be taking to make sure it does not happen again?

Some different ways besides physical , would be verbal , talking and seeing what happened.  taking something away , taking a privilege away , confinement, you get the idea. Beating someone is not always the answer although if you read enough blogs or talk with others this seems to be the trend today.

If a submissive or slave is breaking rules on a daily basis there is a problem, a lack of attention or maybe the training.

I met a Baby girl at a local function I know the Dom well, and while outside I could hear the displeasure in her voice. She had just moved from Main down to Florida and the end result was not good he ended up putting her out on the street.

A friend of mine sent me a text and asked me to call him so we could figure out what happened and what we could do. We did find her a place to stay but she had already made arrangements to fly home with the help of her parents.

Why was it her fault ? Number one she did not do her homework , she did not Vet him prior to moving down meaning she did not contact anyone to see if he was who he said he was, as it turned out he was not.. She took his word on everything , only to sell everything she owned moved and found out soon afterward everything was a lie.

I tried to reach out to him after she contacted me and asked why he was kicking her out? He just stated she was not for him, and when I asked if he was just going to put her out his answer was yes.

The texting was going good until I asked him what steps he had taken in training her , and the conversation went dead. This just proved he had no clue, nor did he care about putting the work into the relationship to make it work.

I think when it comes to our lifestyle Discipline in someways are over played , many see discipline as a daily ritual , see it as needed in order to be in a relationship.

Just a few and the first and most popular is the physical part the spanking, the beating, the leaving bruises as a reminder a show of Authority showing who is in charge.

Self punishment which I always found funny, that is something I never took part in and I find it to be Ego driven and someone who is full of their own shit.

Taking a privilege away something the submissive or slave enjoys, be it TV , a girls night out, their ipad something one cherishes. Free time giving during the day , down time, I have found this to be very effective.

Then talking , communication sitting down one on one and find out what happened , why was a rule broken ? There are times when it cant be helped, and at times things need to be looked over.

As Dominants you spend so much of your time building an awesome relationship why would one take the time to beat someone so precious, someone who is suppose to mean the world to you.

Those who do not have a clue spend much of their time talking down to the sub or slave, degrading and humiliating. This is to keep someone at a very low self esteem, and unless they are able to communicate with others, they do not know any better..

Mastering The Master

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, emotional, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Mental BDSM, positive reinforcement, relationships, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Training Arianna, training your slave, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 29, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

As much as I would like to think I am not perfect, although many would disagree with that statement. Most who know me think I am loud , very out spoken and at times obnoxious.

On the way to a local coffee group which all the people whoa attend are awesome , a good get together at a local star bucks then at times dinner after. I work from home as most know and come my Friday I need to get out I need that interaction with like minded people.

On our way the group leader was warning new comers of my arrival. I am warning you ahead of time Vile is unfiltered. Unfiltered I never looked at it that way , I simply say what is on my mind be it serious or joking…

Some months ago I received and email from a woman who said my blog was the most disgusting place she had ever visited and i should be shut down. So sitting back I am thinking if you find it that bad, why did you spend time reading it and then making time out of your busy life to email me?

Out in the world I like to have fun , I like to joke around , I enjoy making others laugh, but mostly I love learning how others live our wild lifestyle. I listen , I observe and I take in just like a hard drive on a computer.

I have come a long way in the past twenty five years or so and I am making plans for the next twenty five. I have grown on so many levels , I have set goals , I have made most of my goals and I continue to march forward.

My MAsT Chapter has been approved, Masters And Slaves Together. It was not an easy task and it was about a 13 month process.

Over the years I made mistakes, some were a mistake and at times things I did was because I could, I am me , I will stay me and I will walk my own path , but most of all I will not live a life where I have to be politically correct , my life is on my time and my time only.

I am positive , very optimistic , even if I have negative thoughts I keep them to myself. Everything I do has a plan and I seldom make a mistake but if I do I admit it, after all I can be wrong.

I am in control, I am control of my everyday life, my home and in most cases my job. I run my house , I am in full control, but with all of these choices comes consequences.

Mastering the Master is a long path and it is not an easy road to walk. You have to define who and what you are, you have to define where you are and where you want to be, you have to define the type of relationship you want, but most of all you have to define the type of partner you need in your life, not want but need, a want is nothing a want has no meaning and at times a want can be destructive and childish. I concentrate on my needs if my needs are met there are no wants.

When I first met Arianna I made a promise and a commitment , I told her I will never raise my voice towards her or call her names out of anger and some 3 years later this still holds true. Being in control was a strong need to me , being able to not only listen but being able to communicate in a clear and understanding voice. Saying what I mean and mean what I say , not only saying what I will do but do the things I said I would.

Some say it is healthy to argue and while I may agree a little it depends on how you agree to argue. Bruises heal words cut deeper bruises hurt but words effect someone on a very deep mental state and while one can forgive one will never forget The more you hurt with your words the more you are in danger of losing what you have.

If you are fighting with yours Slave or submissive if you had any type of training then you as a Master needs to sit back and maybe come up with a different approach.

MASTER / SLAVE

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

No where in the above definition does it mention a Master Arguing with their Slave. No where in the statement above does it mention a Master Losing control.

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship.

If you the Master argues with your Slave not submissive but your Slave who is the bitch in the relationship ?

When entering a M/s relationship , a power exchange relationship or a Total power exchange you the Master are taking on a huge responsibility. You need to have a clear plan and a training program in place and a training program that puts you in the lead but more important one who will follow and have the need to follow.

Training someone takes a great deal of thought , every submissive or Slave has a different thought process, different habits and react in different ways . Some are emotional , some may suffer from some type of depression , some may suffer from anxiety the list goes on and on, so what worked in your last relationship surely will not work in your next , that includes training and rules..

I think a lot of the misunderstanding comes from someone who is new to the lifestyle and just jumps in head first and not really having a clue… Waking up one morning and your a Master because of a blog or a porn site you ran across. We as humans are visual and you google BDSM and click images and there is your definition.

Mastering the Master , Mastering communication , Mastering honesty , Mastering commitment, Mastering your devotion , Mastering your understanding of ones needs , Mastering your loyalty , Mastering your consistency , your training but most of all your continued growth.

Each and everyday I work on most of those , not only daily but hourly . I work to maintain what I and we have. I want us as Master and Slave to continue to grow.

The out come is you end up with a best friend , partner , and Slave.

 

Vile

 

Continuing Training

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, communication, consistent, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your ssubmissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Just as a job we tend to get comfortable and at some point and time we start to slack, we tend to do less, we start to believe we are not replaceable but the fact is we are.
The same goes for a relationship we get comfortable , we start expecting what we once valued as a gift, our partner just wanting to please. Last week I spoke about the Resetting of the relationship , mainly D’s and M’s but I suppose some vanilla could use the same thing..

I call it continuing Education and as we know things are changing daily, we change, our needs become different and at times more extreme. Right now again Arianna is exploring ways on how she can deepen her submission even more. While she thinks this would be added work to me that is not so, everything else is already implemented.

Something else I wanted to touch on we as Dominants or Masters we all march to the beat of a different drum. We all have our own way of doing things, we all have different visions , needs and wants.

While at a Munch Arianna and I sat next to a D’s couple who are pretty new to the lifestyle and that is what I told him, March to your own drum you have to be happy, find what fits you.

In the lifestyle we grow almost on a daily basis, our needs change, so it is up to the Dominant to step up to the plate and make changes.

So lets say the Dominant is in a happy place , but his submissive comes to him and says hey I think I would like to give up more control, or maybe add a few more rules or protocols.
It may be the Dominant does not want to add more to his plate , but he will also have to evaluate the needs of the submissive. Even though he may not want to take on more, our number one objective is to insure their needs are being met.. There has to be a time when we as Dominants have to look at a bigger playing field and give more even if we do not see the need..

Training is a type of Behavior modification and it takes time , it will not happen over night a week , or even a month. It will take the two a month to get everything worked out…

I run a very strict house , protocols , structure and believe it or not only a handful of rules. Last week Arianna was questioning her submission, stating she could not see her submission, at times she felt less submissive.

I put a plan together , the BDSM reset I spoke about a few weeks ago. I started taking things away. The first to go was the furniture, second she was giving a Dog bowl to eat out of not every night , but at a time I picked so she did not know until we were ready to eat.
I did however allow her 45 minutes a day on the couch after work, but there was a catch. She likes taking a nap in the afternoons after work, along with surfing the net on her phone and tablet.
She had 45 minutes on the couch but there had to be a choice, her phone, table or nap. She had to choose her time wisely..

Yesterday while she was laying in the floor she had a moment, as she sat on the floor she started thinking about her submission and she realized she had no down time at all, she was able to see not only her submission but her task, her protocols, her rules it seems with just a few days everything came to light.

While laying in bed talking she said you really know me, you knew the effect it would have on me, you knew how I would react, and she was correct.

Just a slight change in our daily life made Arianna open her eyes and she realized just how well she had it made.. It made her think and it only took a couple of days.

Training is an on going tool we as Dominants use to keep our house running smoothly…. Training on a daily basis keeps structure in the home.

We are all different , we all have different needs , what we all need to do , is while we may not understand others we should respect their lifestyle. In our world there is no wrong way, and just maybe if we try to understand those we don’t it may allow us to grow.

Something to think about, what type of training did you receive ? How did your training effect you ? How did your training change you ? Is your training consistent ? Do your rules benefit you ? Are you put first in your relationship? Do you have access to your Dominant 24/7 ? I feel these are all important…

train

Vile