Archive for the Triad Category

My Interview With A Dominant

Posted in bdsm, Master & Slave, Sister Slaves, Triad with tags , , on January 22, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

A few years ago the interviews were a pretty regular thing. The purpose they serve is to give everyone a peak into someones life within the lifestyle.

In the past I have interviewed both Dominant and submissive, all with different questions..

I am going to send a series of questions to a very good friend and you can find his blog here.

https://livingwithx.wordpress.com/

I am also working on a post about our Triad and how our home works and what makes it work….

I am back on track…

Vile

 

My Definition Of A Unicorn

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Triad, communication, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, Living Triad, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, slave, submissive, TPE, Triad, Unicorn on June 23, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

The term or word Unicorn is relatively new , and it is a word I would never use myself in a general conversation or even when looking for a third to form a Triad.
So when I used the word unicorn it was as almost impossible to find , or non-existent.

Arianna and I were talking last night about how other Dominants have a full house and she made the statement well you could too if you lowered your standards.
I could not meet someone and bring her home and tell Arianna hey she is staying with us like it or not. You would really be surprised how often that happens.

There is a myth that unicorns are disposable and while many think that may be true I have never heard that before.

I was speaking with a male submissive a couple of months ago and we were talking about poly and Triads , and he mentioned the Unicorn and the definition was they are called unicorns because they are either not real or extremely hard to find. I stand by that statement.

Now I or we have had the opportunity to bring others in , but the click or the chemistry was not there. To bring another in it has to fit like a glove, nice and snug.

In the past weeks I have met a couple of friends , I am trying really hard. So I met a Dominant who is new to the lifestyle as with his Submissive but they are still finding what works and what does not work. He then began to explain he was thinking of adding a third.
I thought for a minute then I said you cant not right now , the two of you have still not defined your relationship or which direction you both want to go.
To bring someone into your home and your relationship not being in place , and stable it would not be fair. You bring someone in with false hopes and you can really fuck someone up.

Talking on Facebook my friend Bopeep made the comment and while I agree with her I never looked at a unicorn in that way, until my last blog I had never used the word unicorn.

BoPeep Hmmm..I think that the poly community frowns on the term “unicorn” and couples who are “unicorn hunters” because it implies that the third is a disposable object or toy for the couple. It dehumanizes the third. I’m sure there are a few out there that would tolerate it for a time, but if you are imposing limits to the thirds “importance” in the relationship right off the bat, the third already has one foot out the door. Most poly-fi-tri’s I’ve read about that are successful happened out of shared friendships over a period of time. I wish you and Arianna the best, if anyone can make it happen it’s you

Last I believe this whole topic is hard to explain or more so for anyone to understand my reasoning. When you ask most Dominants why they want to add a third the answer is always more flavor. If you need more flavor then the submissive or slave you have now is not meeting your needs. So by adding more flavor you can now justify the act of fucking someone else.

Arianna and I have been speaking about adding a third for sometime, we have weighed the good and the bad as well as the awesome possibility’s, but the click has to be right.

We have spoken to several submissive’s and time and time again I have explained it is not me you have to win over it is Arianna , win over is a bad way to put it, Arianna is the one you have to bond with.

So maybe the term Unicorn hit a bad nerve with some of you, and as I look back on my post I can see why. To many men or Doms and even couples Unicorns are disposable. So the female is never allowed to truly bond with either nor are they treated as a equal within the relationship.

I think in many Triads the third is left out a lot and I hate using the word third but I got a lot of feed back about using the term Unicorn. There are those who could give a fuck about your feelings be it a Male Dominant or a couple, in fact many times a third is used to fulfill a couples fantasies and nothing more.

In most cases the fantasies get old or jealousy kicks in and the communication falls apart if there was ever any, or maybe the couple did not have a clear vision on what was expected from each, or what the needs would be. Any way you put it playing with someones emotions or feelings is a bad way going about things, but there are those who could really give a fuck. Find you use and abuse then dump you. There are several sides to that picture it goes not only for women but men and couples.

Arianna and I are still talking about adding someone to our home but I and we know we have to be careful, at this point another slave would be a no go, a submissive yes. The rules would be much different I am sure.

Anyway I just wanted to add more on my thoughts about the Unicorn and third..

poly

OR

poly

viledesires62@aol.com

Vile

The Triad Unicorn

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Poly Triad, slave, Submission, submissive, Triad on May 26, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna and I have been talking on and off for about a year adding another two our home. If you have read my blog in the past it was not I who brought the subject up.

I was speaking to a male slave not long ago and he was explaining him and his Mistress had been looking for a unicorn but the definition proved to be true, well for the most. A Unicorn is almost impossible to find , but I suppose it goes the same when looking for a real submissive , slave or a Dominant.

We have met a few but the click was just not there or the other thought I was to strict, We did spend Thursday at Bush Gardens with someone and it was really neat being out with someone , but the click was just not there and again I am to strict , or that is what I was told.. I am a very Structured Dominant , even in life you need structure , if you have no structure you have no vision.

I try to keep things at a distance because Arianna really gets attached pretty easy, so again keeping things from her is not easy because if she was to ask I have to be truthful.

So while we are not looking we are looking if that makes any sense. We did find out we enjoyed going out with someone else and would like to someday add someone to our family.

Also many of you know I have been wanting to start a local group , and I have to understand things are not always on my clock. However if everyone was on my clock the world would be in a much better place. So I have been in contact with MAsT International and I am almost ready to submit my application. I do have the support of another MAsT chapter and I am sure everything will fall like it is suppose to.

I am a huge news buff and I know right now there are a lot of fucked up things going on around the world and in our fine country , but I am not going to get into politics here , that would not be good.

I did tell Arianna I would love to run for president but for one I cannot afford it and two I tell the truth , and three I cannot be bought.
So I would have a phone to the House , the Senate , a Bat Phone , and my favorite would be the GFY and that is the Go Fuck Yourself phone…

I have been working on another blog as well , The Lack Of Education in the lifestyle, and should be finished here in the next day or so…

One thing I would like to do is a few more interviews with Dominants , Baby Girls , Subs and slaves.

You can email me at viledesires62@aol.com even if you just have questions…

kneeling62

Vile

The Day Time Stood Still

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationship, cheating, Master And Slave, Submission, submissive, Triad with tags , , , , , on December 24, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Things were coming to an end and it was something I did not see happening , nor was it something I could control. I believe things happen for a reason. Sometimes we help things along , and then there are times when we have no control over what happens.

I was shaving one morning and as I was looking out the window , I saw a car parked on the street , as I was looking I saw a man with a pair of binoculars looking at the house. So now I am thinking who have I pissed off this time, or did I forget to file taxes last year?

So I walk out the back door and I sneak up to the car coming from the rear and I place my hand over then lens causing the old fat man to jump.

Hey man can I help you out ? Is there something or someone your looking for ? He replied I am looking for Tina I think she lives here. I thought for a second and I asked who Tina was ? He said she is a dancer and he sees her almost every night. Hmmm I asked him what she looked like and he said she was a young Asian girl who danced at a club he goes to. Ahhh okay buddy well I just may be able to help you out come with me..

As we enter the house I called out for Beth. Beth was the third in our Triad which I might add I could not stand. I did not like her from day one but she was chongs toy. As Beth walked out the man was pretty much speechless. Beth was nude, long blonde hair and she weighed in at a whopping 98 pounds.

I instructed Beth to make a fresh pot of coffee while we waited for chong to come out of the bathroom . As Beth served us the coffee the guy looked at me and said the girl is naked. I said yes she is , so I am sitting there looking at this guy in his 50’s over weight and his wedding band had been taken off. I could see where it went because of the tan.

Now chong was a dancer and there were 3 or 4 clubs she would go to on a monthly basis. When I first met her she was one of the few dancers I had ever met that owned a car and had a checking account. She would work 3 or 4 days a week and make about 2500 to 3000 a week non nude. She did not drugs and she did not drink either.

Chong walked out of the bathroom and down the hall into our florida room and this guy says hey Tina . Chong looked kinda confused and said Dave is that you?

Chong sat on the floor next to me and I looked at the guy and I said I would like you to meet Chong. She is my slave and Beth is Chongs Girlfriend and submissive.

At this point he is looking kinda confused and I explained Tina was a name she just used to work her real name is chong.

As we are talking the guy explains he is in love with Tina and he feels they can build a relationship. He came here to see if she would move in with him.

I asked him what gave him the idea she was in love with him? He said she treated him so nice and would always come over to him when he came to the club, she made him feel special..

He said he felt kinda weird because Tina was only 19 and he was 53 but he felt it would work. So as I am trying not to bust out laughing , I said first she is not 19 she is 27 , her name is not Tina it is Chong. Then I added we are in a Master , Slave relationship and she is owned.

I also added that being nice was her job that is what she got paid for. I also stated that no one gave out their real name or age in that line of work.

I could tell the guy was feeling pretty stupid right about now , so I said you know man, we all make mistakes, just go home to your wife and kids and get your head clear.

Beth was on her way out, Chong and I had been talking about that for sometime. Although Beth and I were not close she was now trying to move into the number one spot in our triad. I had noticed over a couple of months Beth was trying to warm up to me but I just shrugged it off.

Beth moved out on a Monday and that Friday Chongs dad called and said her mother was really ill and Chong should come home.

I booked her flight and on the way to the Airport I stopped by the bank and once back in the car I gave Chong a Huge envelope , and inside of it was 50.000 dollars. That is what I had saved over a period of about 7 years with the money she would give me from working.

Saturday morning I woke up to an empty house , as I am looking around the kitchen trying to find where the fucking coffee was , I got this empty feeling that just came over me and I was in no mood to just sit around and feel sorry for myself. I could of called Beth and probably worked something out but she just churned my stomach.

So I showered got ready , jumped in my 67 camaro and just started driving with no place really in mind. As I was driving west on I4 going through Orlando I had to stop for gas and as I am pumping I am just looking around. I am a huge people watcher, I like trying to figure people out a far. One thing that catches my eyes and thoughts were all of the family’s who were out for the weekend.

I pulled into the parking lot at Bush Gardens , when I left the house I had no idea where I wanted to go even when I arrived I had no idea why I decided on Bush Gardens.

Once in I was pretty hungry I had not eaten anything in about 24 hours so I grabbed a burger and fries and I sat down outside. People watching again and I was just looking at all of these family’s. I am looking at all the fun they are having , laughing and joking , just having fun enjoying the day.

So I am sitting there and I start thinking, and my way of thinking is really pretty weird. When I start thinking I begin to analyze things , I look at every problem that could or would come up. How , why , when and where. It is like I have this huge chalk board in front of me and I start working out different problems.

math

So I am thinking I am really missing out on something , I have let a lot of years pass me by and I need to fix it. Yea okay so I am not thinking to clear and maybe just maybe my emotions are getting the best of me. What is helping though is knowing nothing that has happened is or was my fault. There was nothing I could of done to prevent what had taking place.

So I decided I needed a family, a wife , kids , a house and a dog.. Yes that is the ticket Bam Problem solved.

I was going to change, yes a changed man. I was going to hit the vanilla lifestyle and I was going to be happy. I knew this is what I truly needed.

So I found a woman and in no time we were married, shortly after she was pregnant and then came the house. Shortly after we married I realized I had made a grave mistake and I had to fix the fuck up I had created

When our son was born he had heart problems and at the age of only 18 days old he had a heart transplant, and a week later he passed. I had that empty feeling come over me again and I just need time to think so I felt a vacation was much needed.

7 years had passed and we now had a son and my life was growing more miserable as each day passed. I had to get back to work so I could find out what I had left out.

math

The plan was to come clean about who and what I really was. I need to share that I had been living a lie for 8.5 years who I was playing was not me and I needed more. Now during this fucked up adventure I had remained loyal 100% because that is who I am.So I sat her down and started from the beginning and as I was talking she just sat there and stared at me. I explained that if we maybe found someone to move in a slave that is an in service slave no sex it might ease things a little.

Well that was short lived, although my then wife was a lousy house keeper, could not cook or tell the truth she was not happy with someone else being in the house. Now I had become Dr Evil.

dr_evil I was asked to leave so the next day I packed and I was gone. So I left with a duffel bag and a beat up motorcycle and 500 bucks in my pocket.

I left her the house 3 cars including my fiat and 67 camaro and a 100.000 dollars. I filed for divorce and had agreed to pay 85.00 a week in child support but paid 600 a month instead.

Fact I lost everything and left with nothing but I was free. I was free to be me and as it turned out I had missed some problems while working the board.

There is no better freedom than being who you are.

time

Vile

You Do Not Have To Agree With Me Or My Reasoning

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, anger, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, http://leabarrymire.blogspot.com/2013/02/demystifying-male-15.html?zx=becc23191815c038, https://www.facebook.com/lea.barrymire., https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, slave, Submission, submissive, Triad on July 3, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I do appreciate everyone’s comments, and I still appreciate them even if you do not agree with me.

What I write here is my opinion and nothing more, while Arianna and I along with Lea Berrymire who is an awesome writer, once finished it will be just my opinion…
I have had writers tell me you do not need help, do it yourself, keep what you make to yourself.
Yea well Okay although I do have a diploma I never did that well in English as my grammar here shows, I am not a professional writer nor have I ever claimed to be I am me , I am no one else, what you read here is the real me.

You Don’t need anyone to help you write just be you, or else you will have to split the money.
I do not care about the money, while I do believe a book would support my radio show , that will start out one day a week, I would like to increase to three or four days week.

I enjoy helping others.That is why I do this blog. I am able to be me, this is my world, my life, this is my vent.
While out in public , for the most I am or have to be someone I am not . I live my daily life a lie.

You may not understand my way of thinking or my train of thought. One thing I can assure you is before I act I think everything through. Remember Choices and Consequences ? I never act on an impulse I am not wired that way.

While
http://dievca.wordpress.com/
and
http://foxglove38.wordpress.com/

Did not agree with me and they both expressed their feelings,and that is perfectly okay. I welcome all comments and thoughts. You cannot agree with me on everything, if you did we would live in a perfect world.

http://foxglove38.wordpress.com/
Did however come back and say she did now understand..

So I suppose what we have to offer is really no different, than those who are living in a poly with a married man is really no different, I can see that….
Or I suppose those seeking a poly or Triad home that is very stable, and well structured, would not be a benefit.
I can see where a poly or Triad where everyone works as a team would not be beneficial.
So all in all maybe I just worded things wrong, that is very possible.

The Triad was not even my idea, I did not even bring it up, the truth is I never even thought about it, because that was something that Arianna and I discussed prior to entering a relationship. She made it clear she wanted to be the only one.
So we change, she brought up the subject, and gave me her views on it. My answer was, I have to think about it.

So the comment that offended me was. The reason I wanted this Triad was because of Lust.
The truth is although bringing someone in would be a good idea with everything I have going on, it would be nice to have an extra pair of hands , and thoughts and ideas.

I do not think with my cock, my life does not revolve around my cock. As far as sex goes I get anything I want , when I want and how I want.

As I stated maybe I just worded everything wrong.

There is no particular type of female, it all has to do with personality, that is really all, short, tall, skinny, chunky, there is no real preference. So if it was Lust my train of thought would be much different.

Arianna is very possessive , the key word VERY, but she knows having sex would have to be part of the relationship. We would just have ground rules for the house when it came to sex.

One last thing I would like to mention, this would only be long term and nothing more. So we are looking ahead into the future..

Now to the awesome Lady who has been working with us on my book. I would like to thank her, and you should check out her pages.

http://www.leabarrymire.com/

https://twitter.com/LeaBarrymire

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5819512

https://www.facebook.com/lea.barrymire

leabarrymire.blogspot.com/

Much Love to all
I love loved that pic
Vile

We Are Still Considering A Poly Triad

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, poly, Poly couple, slave, Submission, submissive, Triad with tags , , , , , on June 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

While we are still considering we are not what you would call actively looking. We have slowed down somewhat, while we have met a few who were really nice, they just did not fit into our bubble.

At times I think it would be ideal then there are times I am thinking nah is it really a need? Remember this is not about me, I am not looking for different flavor. I really get anything I want when I want and how I want it.

If you have ever wondered what a no limit slave is, well you need to speak with Arianna. Now when I say no limits you have to take into consideration of the respect I have for Arianna. Just because she is a Slave does not mean I am just going to use her as a doormat. The truth is there is not really anything I could think of that she would not do if told to do so. So the flavor is not a need.

Pussy is pussy, sucking cock is sucking cock. You can train your submissive or Slave how to suck cock, or how you like to fuck, so I have never understood the cheating part.

Training your submissive should be more about helping them improve in areas that needs improvement. The sex is the bonus, because if you are who you say you are and you do what you say your going to do, then the rewards are never ending

If at some point if we did find someone we would consider it could not be a slave, it would have to be a submissive, and the submissive would have complete different rules than Arianna. There is no way I could even attempt to have another slave in the home.

At the MasT meeting I was speaking with another Master who now has 5 slaves but only one lives with him. His Alpha was explaining that each one brought something else to the table and how each was different. I suppose that works out okay but it depends on what you need out of the relationships.

So one would have to be able to make friends with Arianna, the two would have to click. The idea is to become best friends. When you hear most Dominants talk if they want to bring in another you have to be Bi sexual. I do not see the need in one or the other being Bi.

You do have to insure the two are compatible , and the Dominant needs to give the two space so they can grow once a friendship is established then the Dominant can step in.

I see a family, a family of love and caring, a family full of support, being there for each other. Going out to eat together, the movies, vacation. Then the two women shopping together, thrift store, art classes.

It can be done.

So who knows what the future may hold

Image

Vile

Arianna And I watched, My Five Wives, Well Almost All Of It

Posted in abuse, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, Buddhism, Christians, church, communication, Consensual, consequences, consistent, control, controlling, Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Dominant, Family Values, Gay, Living Poly, Living Triad, married, Married Polygamist, Master, My Five Wives, Open Minded, Patience, Polygamist, Protocol, relationships, Religion, Rules, Self-Discipline, sharing, Sister Slaves, Sister Wives, Structure, Submission, submissive, Triad on March 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

My Five Wives

While skipping through channels the other day I stumbled across this show called, My Five Wives

Brady who is married to five wives in Utah and has 24 children lives in two houses built side by side and a food bill of over 4.000 dollars a month seems to have it down for the most part.

The family were all Mormons at one time but have split off from the traditional Mormon religion and kinda added their own flavor.  While the family follows no real religion they all believe in Buddhism, all the women are pro-gay marriage and they all have a drink from time to time.

Each wife has their own bedroom and Brady takes turns spending the night with each one. One Birthdays each wife gets an extra night.

I have nothing against those who believe in polygamy or who live it, if it works for them then so be it.

If a family can live the Polygamy lifestyle and make it work, and not live off of government assistance then leave them be. We are in a new time where we allow gay couples to marry so why would be draw a line on how many people can live together.

While the family is not religious based they were all Mormons at one time, and they do live in a  Polygamist community , which they have been asked to leave because of the way they believe.

There are a few things that caught my eye in the short time we watched the show. The main thing was the jealousy between all of the wives as Brady took turns spending the night with each one. The second was no structure within the home, third there were no rules that had to be followed. Even though the show is not geared towards any BDSM lifestyle or Domestic Discipline the family did lack the fundamentals of any type of real structure and no protocol. I do believe Brady tries to communicate the best he can, but the main factor that keeps everything from working is the jealousy. There is no real communication with the wives, they all work toward the building of the home, but there is clearly no team work. They do have family outings which is good, yes all thirty of them, wow can you imagine going to McDonalds and having a bill for thirty.

So I wonder if others who live as Polygamist have the same issues , the same problems , if they have the same jealousy issues going on.

None of the wives on the show are Bi Sexual and that should never come into play anyway if you are looking to expand your family. I do not see the need in having partners and seeking out those who are bi as a need and that should never be part of the reason you are wanting to expand your family.

While I have done research on Domestic Discipline family’s I have not run into any who live as Polygamist. I have run into family’s who suffered from abuse and while a couple disagreed with me they mentioned all of the arguing that went on daily, and the fighting that went on daily so I was not able to connect them with living a Domestic Discipline lifestyle which for the most is religious based as well.

In the short time watching the show I was able to pin point where the problems came from. First there was no Alpha female, if there was she was not willing to step up to the plate. I can see where they all were wanting to be treated equal but in a live in situation like that I see no way that would work.

There was zero structure everyone did their own thing, having no structure causes arguing. There were no house rules again having no rules causes arguing.  Last but not least there were no consequences for any actions. Although he did try and communicate with everyone it was clear he was not getting through to them.

I can see where such a lifestyle could work if the male is in full control, and I can also see where it can fail. Those who live the polygamy lifestyle keep it such a secret I do not believe there is any hard statistics that shows if it works more than it fails.

I also believe a man can stretch his self way to thin and not being able to maintain any type of control, and it is clear when one of the wives stood toe to toe and argued with him he clearly had no control.

When Arianna and I were talking about the possibility of adding another, there would of been a plan in place. There would of been house rules to follow, there has to be structure, there has to be protocols , and most of all there has to be an alpha female, and the other has to know the alpha is just that and will always be the alpha. So a third would have to be okay being the third, and know that will never change.

I was reading some of the comments about the TV show My Five Wives, and there was not one good one, well until I commented. These people who were complaining are the same ones you see as customers in the TV show Hardcore Pawn, or guest on the Jerry Springer show, These are the ones talking about how others live their lives.

You have people protesting Gay Marriage if your so against it then don’t marry someone who is gay, BOOM problem solved. If you judge someone for having more than one wife, then just marry one, problem solved.

What is really stupid is you spend and hour watching a TV show about Polygamist then you spend the next day complaining about it. Wow fucking really. Truth be known your the fucking moron for wasting an hour of your life watching something you hate so much.

Let people be who they want and need to be. A friend at work was talking about a family he was working with they were Mexican, he was saying that two family’s lived in a two bedroom apartment, and how crazy they were. Well it is not really crazy, they make it work, who cares how they live.

If your going to live, live the dream, but don’t waste your time talking about how others live, when your own backyard is fucked up….

By the way I can talk, my backyard is clean.

Image Just how many is to many? How many can you keep under your control.

Vile