Archive for the Under Consideration Category

Is There Really A Difference In Daddy Doms

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bond, Cherish, Collars, control, controlling, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Dominants, events, fetlife, slave, submissive, swinger club, Under Consideration on August 5, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Over the past 10 years or so Daddy Doms have become very popular. going back to the mid 80’s you were either a Top, a Bottom , a Master or Slave. The word submissive rarely came to surface.

Most if not all clubs were invitation only, and you had to know someone to even be considered. In the early 90’s there was a swingers club here local called charlie woods. A very nice couple ran the place, but if you wanted to attend you had to exchange a couple of emails, then a phone call, then finely meet in person for an interview. This was to keep all the wackos out.  Although it was not a private club they did have a set of standards.

Myself at that time had a name out in the community, I was really feared by most, although that is not what I was trying to accomplish it just happened. Then there were not that many what you would call hardcore Sadist, nor were there very many hardcore Masochist far and few between. Since I had only really been with one slave who was a Masochist that is pretty much all I knew.

Since then I have calmed down a lot, what use to get me off as far as pain really does not interest me any longer. I take a softer stance, and a much different out look on D’s and M’s.

So over the years the lifestyle branched out and different names began to pop up, Dominant, Master, Poly, Hetroflexible which means anything is game on. Then came the switch which to this day I do not understand, more so when it comes to the male Dominant.

If you look at some of the fetlife profiles some of the sexual orientation is just unreal, and the list of names they are either associated with protecting, or even under consideration. I have seen as many as 20 names. Master Bob is protecting Slave Karman who lives three thousand miles away. Or Master Gary is considering Slave Kathy who lives in another country, even better being collard by someone you have never even met.

Then along comes the Daddy Dom, I have filled and enjoyed this role, many do not understand the concept or the mindset of the relationship. Even today when I talk to some they still consider it to be gross, acting out incest. Conversation over.

So we have the Daddy Dominant, then we have the Dominant. We both want the same for ours. We both want improvement, we both set goals, we both want to see ours excel in everything. We are both there for support, we both care, we both communicate. So the question is. Is there really any difference?

We both step in to fill a void, we both step in to take control, we both earn respect, and we both give respect. We both praise when one has done well, and we both punish when a rule is broken.

You call one Daddy the other calls one Master. In the lifestyle much of the past is forgotten, but things change everyday, we grow, and our needs are different. Even in a relationship our needs change our kinks change, so it if very important to be with someone you can openly communicate with.

I do know today Daddy Doms are not as strict, most are forgiven very easy, maybe scolded but rarely punished, so most baby girls are submissive, very few are slaves.

While at a munch sometime ago I met a Daddy Dom and we were outside talking, he had just met his Little girl, and we were talking about the difference. Then the arguing thing came up, he said they did argue at times, which I do not understand, but to each their own, if it works then so be it.

We all want ours to excel, be better. So why is it that we are so different when the only difference is a Title that most self impose on themselves instead of it being given. I am Master Johnny and you will respect me. Um yea okay.

A couple of years ago, and what a small world a guy called me out of the blue, he had gotten my phone number from a slave I use to live with, at that time I did fill the Daddy Dom role, not so much because I liked it or needed it, it was what she needed. Anyway I jump in my car drive some 60 miles, I walk up to the door and I hear yelling and screming, I am thinking WOW really WTF. So I knock and this guy answers the door he is a lot taller than I am which is not hard to be, he invites me in and the living room and kitchen is a mess broken glass all over the place. The Slave just looks at me very surprised to see that I am even there. I am not sure at this point why I was even called, besides my name being brought up in his face several times a day. They start yelling again and I am just amazed

So I tell her to shut her cock sucker up and sit down, and when she did sit down this guy just looked at me and the room got very quite. I said what the fuck is going on? How did you get my number? Why did you even call me?  They fought everyday, which to this day I do not understand because while with me that was not her demeanor, nor was it her personality, but I suppose if you push the right buttons anything is possible.

He could not believe the control I still had even after not seeing her for over a year. The bottom line was it was all about respect, the respect I had earned, and not demanded. I truly thought after seeing her I would have feelings, but nah the past is the past. If you live in the past you are stuck, and your past will not allow you to move forward.

At one time he had even asked me to mentor him which lasted all of two or three days, it is all good, I had enough on my plate. I really did not need anymore task, and to this day he is still single.

It does not matter what role you play in your relationship it boils down to respect. Respect is earned you cannot demand it. Okay sure you can demand and the giving can be fake but if that cranks your tractor then go for it.

I can really see no difference in the two types of Doms, in the end we both want the same things.

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Vile