Archive for the Vanilla Category

To All The Vanilla People

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, commitment, communication, compatibility, control, Dominants, slave, Submission, submissive, Vanilla, Vanilla Relationships with tags , , , , , , on October 28, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Lets forget about BDSM for a minute and talk about some core issues. I want to touch on Values and respect for a short time here.

I am not better than anyone else , as a matter of fact I know there are others who are more knowledgeable than I am when it comes to the lifestyle. I also know we are all different we all have different needs as well.

There are two reasons a relationship fails, one is communication and the other is infidelity. If you have a break down in communication the second is sure to take place, looking for something better that is really not there. The grass is never greener on the other side. If you make it to a marriage counselor the odds are your already at the end of your rope.

I find it to be sickening for someone to open up the private part of one life to complete stranger. The advice you are getting is just someones opinion, and don’t forget to write the check.  Pawning your problems off on someone else in hopes they can fix the mess both of you have generated. I get it though it is much easier to pay someone 200 dollars an hour to fix your problems, because one or the other is out fucking the world. One is breaking the family apart, one is breaking what two worked so hard to build.

There are circumstances where two get married knowing it was the wrong move , there are those mistakes, I know Ive done it. I was trying to fix something I thought was wrong and in the end it was a disaster. Nine years of agony it was the most fucked up move I had ever made and 17 years later I am still paying every week. What I can say is no matter how fucked up things got I remained loyal, because I took the vows very serious, I made the mistake so I had to eat dirt.

I promise to love, cherish and obey” and “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.  What do these words mean to you, did you really mean it when you both stepped up to the plate, some spent thousands for a day of happiness a few minutes in the lime light, that one last moment of glory.

It is however much easier to just throw the towel in and say fuck it I am done , I give up go fuck yourself , I hope you have a better life without me.

Today we have the internet , we have the mobile dating apps, and Ashley Madison if you dare. It is so easy to find that piece of ass today, you think it is so easy to fix your problems by stepping out. The truth is your only thinking about yourself , your thinking of the choices but not the consequences..

The blame is just not on men the blame is on women as well. Most of the time you both end up fucking or sucking cock in a car then you go home and cook your kids supper or maybe go to a PTA meeting, a family outing.  The problem is you always get caught does not matter how sneaky you are you always get caught.

Okay well lets talk about it, I do not want to talk about it , this means it has been over, many times one will wait for the other to make the move so they do not have to take the blame.

It all boils down to a couple of things, Truth, honesty, communication , and last Morals. If you lack one or any of these please pick up your phone and call your parents and thank them for fucking up your life, they deserve a pat on the back.

Where am I going with this ? What is the point I am trying to get across ? My blog is BDSM based , I will have to admit I have calmed in my older years , but as far as me in general I have not changed when it comes to my way of thinking.

I shared before I came from a very broken home and when I left at the age of 17 I knew who I was not going to be, I had to set my own example , I had to define who and what I was.

You have to communicate, you have to set time aside to just talk, you have to learn to talk to each other and not at each other. You have to learn how to express yourself , your feelings and your needs.

If your going to argue you need to learn how to argue, and this can be down through self training. First if your angry you think before you speak, you think about how what your going to say would sound, many times you can reword things. Thinking and pausing before can save a lot of grief. Being honest with yourself and your partner. There is a need to spend a whole day with each other on your days off. You have to set time aside if you have kids.

The problem with arguing is most do not argue it is an all our war of words unless it gets physical , words are thrown at each other and the hurt takes place.

Just following a few simple steps can repair a relationship if both are willing to work through it , but if one is not game just leave pack your shit and get out. Why would you want to put yourself through such a mess?

Most say well it is for our children , they need both parents, while this may be true, it is not fair to drag them through your mess and hear your screaming and calling each other names, this does more damage than if one just left.

My one question is why would you want to put yourself through so much bullshit ? Why Torment yourself causing all that stress ? Why drag yourself and kids if you have them through all of your drama?

The truth is , it is much easier to just throw in the fucking towel and say fuck it. It is much easier to just walk away and just drop what ever you broke in the first place.

Sometime ago I was seeing a few older married women, there was no sex including Oral, it was Bondage and humiliation. These were women with degrees and had been married for more than twenty years.  These were also women who had not been able to communicate with the Husbands, and when they did they were ridiculed , told they were sick, one even divorced his wife because of her sick urges. The male wants his needs met, dinner, clothes, bills, shopping , sex on their terms. I cannot imagine living 20 years or longer so unhappy…

So the question is were you ever really in love? The most important question is, What Do You Want To Do With Your One Life ?

 

slave2

 

 

 

 

Moving From A Vanilla To A D’s Relationship

Posted in 24/7, anger, Argue, bdsm, Bondage, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The slave must adapt, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Train your slave, Training your wife, Vanilla, Vanilla Friends on January 9, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a task that is not really an easy thing to do, but it can be done. In orders to move into a whole new world there are somethings the Dominant has to do.

The first being a huge change of attitude. The Dominant has to demonstrate he is in full control. The attitude has to change a full 360 degrees. This is more true if the two have problems arguing.

A woman will not submit to a Dominant or any male if he cannot control his temper. Second we do not always have to be right. Although I am not wrong that often I do make mistakes. I think things out before acting and when something goes wrong, I am like what the fuck how did that happen, because I have covered all of the choices and of course the consequences.

Being in full control is the key. Communication with your partner. You would need to introduce things slowly. Maybe share a few story’s, maybe a site you have stumbled across. Slowly introduce some lite Bondage. See if your partner is willing to participate in other types of play.

Remember you cannot take submission it has to be giving, you have to earn it. You cannot demand that someone respects you, again you have to earn.

The easiest way to earn someones submission is for the Dominant to be able to show control. If you blow up and get angry your spouse or girlfriend is going to do the same thing and you have gained nothing.

You want to make your home as stress free as you can. You want to make your home as Drama free as you can. Leaving work at work is a good place to start.

If you have friends who are full of drama then it is time to cut ties with them. Their problems are not your problems. I have had to cut off even the best of friends because of all the drama, I do not roll like that.

Your control will mean everything. You can be married and love each other but still not have that total respect thing going on.

Controlling your temper, thinking before you speak. Think about what your going to say before speaking, you may want to re-word it.

Although advice from others may work and work well, you have to be the one to define exactly what you want and need. Every D’s or M’s home is different, every Dominant and submissive or slave is different. You have to define how you want your house to be ran.

Talking to your spouse or girlfriend about your thoughts, try to get a feel if they would maybe try and venture into that type of lifestyle.

Now the Hidden dangers. If you are able to persuade your better half into venturing into the world you want, and she agrees. Now you have to stay with it. If she is truly a submissive and you guide her in the direction you want, and you stop, it make of become a need for her. If you cannot fulfill that need any longer , guess what happens. You wake up alone because she will find someone who will.

If the world of BDSM is just a fantasy leave it as that. If you are serious and that is the life you want it can be a beautiful thing. The lifestyle can be very rewarding.

Other Dominants here on wordpress may have different views, maybe different ideas, or they may think I am nuts. This is just my opinion, and only my opinion.

Good luck in your travels.

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Vile

Where Do We Fit In ?

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, Bondage, control, controlling, Conversation, Dominants, Employer, Face Fucking, Fear, Fitting in, Friends, Friendship, hoe, Kink, kinky, Love, married, masochist, Master, oral, oral sex, pussy, Respect, Rough Sex, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, sex, slave, Spanking, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Trust, Vanilla, Vanilla Friends on July 7, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

We were texting today Arianna and I , and the subject came up of how stupid some people are. I made the comment about how at work all anyone talked about was how much beer they drank the night before and how much they plan on drinking once they get off. These are men who make six figures not your every day McDonalds worker not that there is anything wrong with working at McDonalds. It does not matter what you do as long as it is an honest days work.

Here is the thing, besides Arianna I really do not have anyone I would call a real friend, I mean someone I would hang out with on a daily basis. There are people I like, and I even invited a co-worker over for dinner sometime, but to call someone a friend to me that is deep and it calls for a lot of trust. Trust is a huge issue with me.

At work I try to fit in, I laugh and joke but for the most it is a big front, not that most of the guys are not likeable because most are. When I first started there I was giving the cold shoulder because they felt like I was cutting into their pay, which is not really the truth, we each make out own pay. So everyday it is talking about beer and hoes, hoes and beer. Pretty boring.

In the lifestyle I know a lot of people , there are those I would like to call friends, but then the trust thing comes into play. for the most I am a very private man. Although at work I have shared some of my kink but no one really understands and I do not want to spend a day trying to explain. People hear what they want to hear, people see what they want to see, and people believe what they want to believe.

So in my world where does Vile fit in? It is as if I do not belong anyplace. Sure I have my own space, my own freedom, but at some point you have to share your space, if that makes any sense.

At a young age I knew I was different. Even in my teens I was into spanking, tying girls up, I really got off on face fucking, humiliation, and yes even control. Even then I did not fit in, it was like I was a guest in someones world, I was just there, people all around me but I just could not find that spot, that spot where I belonged.

So is it so bad to be different? Should we be someone else we are not just to please others so that we do fit in? I do know living a life that your not can be a total disaster , and the consequences are not good. On the other hand if we are to be who we are where do we fit in?

You go to the wing house or hooters with the guys, well it is not my thing, because I have no desire to sit around a table telling old war stories drinking beer, and listening to men talk about hoes

Lets face it if you went to work and announced who and what you were you would not be accepted, you would be the black sheep of the office. People would think your weird or think your some sicko. So really we spend our life hiding in the closet. I have shared some but I have not gone into great detail. Do I care if I am accepted? Nah I am who I am and I am very happy. Do I care if Joe likes me? I could really care less.

We, us , them, submissive, slaves, sadist, masochist , kinky we do not fit in we are just here, or there for a short period of time. Most are ashamed of who and what they are, because of being afraid of being an out cast, we need acceptance, we need people to like and approve of use. Why ? Because we do not fit in the world the way people think we should.

Those who do want to fit in want everything handed to them without having to put forth any effort, for example. A co-worker who is single, I invited him to go to a place in Orlando called the wood shed. His remark was fuck that I am not driving sixty miles to meet a woman, I would rather go home and watch porn and jack off. I am glad that is working out for him.  Now if I just showed up at his place with a woman and said here she is yours to fuck for the night, he would gladly take her, unless he found out he had to feed her or something.

I can say without a doubt I am happy. I have a good life. I have an awesome wife and slave, and as of right now I would not change anything. If I need a fishing buddy I have Arianna, if I have the need to have a drinking buddy again I have Arianna. If I have the need to play rough, fuck or just get my cock sucked yup I have Arianna.

So the question is do I really need to fit in? I think being happy and content means much more than trying to fit in with the Jones, or the Smiths.

So I know every morning when I leave for work, I know just where I fit in. That is my main and only focus.

Much Fucking Love to Everyone

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Vile

My Relationship is not a Democracy

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, and Respect, bdsm, Bdsm events, communication, control, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, events, Health, Master, munchs, owning a slave, Patience, Punishment, Respect, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, session, Spanking, submissive, TPE, Vanilla on February 4, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

We attended a Munch this past Friday, and I was somewhat appalled at the way some people, not only Submissive’s or Slaves were acting, I found it to be total disrespectful.

The group is called MAST Masters and Slaves Together. The Dominant who runs or Host the much is really okay, although him and I have never seen eye to eye. A slave made some bad comments about me, and instead of coming to me, he took everything to heart. If it had not been for others in the community who truly knew me, the outcome could of been much worse. Now I think we just tolerate each other more than anything. The first MAST Tish and I attended he was very respectful to me, but you could still feel the tension.

What I get tired of is others telling me what I should be doing and what I should not be doing. This really gets on my nerves to no end. With other things going on right now yesterday I just about blew a fuse. At the munch I pretty much Stayed quite, although at times I did jump in and give my opinion. Instead of not speaking my mind, I held it in and it was a slow burning fuse for a couple of days.

Here is the thing, I am not talking about Subs right now. This is about Slaves, more so my Slave. My slave is my business, my slave is my property. My slave is my partner. My slave is my bitch.

My relationship is not a Democracy. There are no votes. Although at times I may ask for Tish’s / Arianna’s opinion, and I would respect what she had to say, and I would listen as well.

I run my house, I am head cheese. I am the man, and no one else is going to tell me what I should be doing and what I should not be doing. I find it very disrespectful, when another Dominant tries to stick his nose in someplace where it does not belong.

Well now what Volume book of BDSM did you get your information from? I have yet to find a fucking book that says BDSM 101. If someone has seen this book I would like a copy. A dominant telling me what I should and should not be doing, and he cannot even run his own house. Really?

Tish and I have a very good relationship, many in the lifestyle do not agree with a micromanagement relationship. I know this type of relationship is not healthy, it can be if it is done long term. Short term can be very harmful.

Okay so when you agree to a relationship, and a Dominant tells a slave he can meet her needs, but in midstream you change the rules, which is more unhealthy?

Tish and I fit like a glove, Wow I found someone who has the same needs. Is micromanagement easy? Not on your life, it is probably one of the most difficult relationships in the community. It is a lot of responsibility, and the days can be very long. I am not complaining, I thrive having a challenge.

While at the Munch others were speaking to me about punishment. Well the truth is I have only punished Tish one time in a three month period. I normally do not spank but I felt this was the best way to get my point across, and she had to complete a task while being spanked.

When I made the comment Tish is the most compliant slave I have ever met or known, I was asked the question where is the challenge in her? Does there have to be a challenge? I would think not.

I did not even want to punish Tish, I felt very bad before, during and more so after. The thing is, if I did not follow through, where would her respect level of been for me?

At the munch there is one other Dom, him and I have about the same idea as far as how a house should be ran. He wants four slaves who wants to live in total solitude. Think about it four women under the same roof.  So now he has to put a roof over five people, food for five people. Provide medical for four people, not to mention all the Tampons he would have to by.

I may not agree with how some treat their Subs or slaves, but you know what? It is non of my fucking business, and to tell you the truth I could careless. If something works for them then so be it.

To come to me and tell me I am doing something wrong, man please.

I do share somethings, there are somethings that are more private that I do not share, and I will never share. Just as it takes a very special slave to be with me, it takes a very special Dom to be with Tish / Arianna. There is not anyone who knows her the way I do. There is not anyone who can even come close or could even imagine the care she needs, just in her daily life. No one could imagine the communication that is needed on a daily basis. No one could understand her emotionally, and meet her needs. More so the aftercare that is needed on a daily basis, when play is not even evolved.

Now to the scary part. A slave comes to a Dominant, and says here I am do what you need to do, I will give you everything. I want you to control my life. You can do to me what you want, I will lay on my back and spread at the snap of a finger. Even for most slaves not to mention submissive’s, that is a lot to give up.

The key is finding a Dominant who is going to put the slaves best interest first, and not take advantage of her. A dominant who is going to think things out before acting. A dominant who is going to think about choices and consequences.

My relationship is not a Democracy, and it never will be. I run my ship and Tish follows, but she chooses to follow, she needs to follow. This does not mean she is weak, she is far from weak. Tish is very smart. At work she has a great deal of responsibility. Tish is also very beautiful, she has a body built for sin.

Many people who follow my blog do not agree with who and what I am. I understand that. I would hope that everyone would not agree with me. More so want to submit in the ways I need. I am me and I refuse to change who or what I am.

It is Tish and Vile.  You take care of your Bitch and ill take care of mine.

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Vile

If A Bitch Will Lay On Her Back

Posted in abuse, bdsm, Fucking Missionary, Love, slave, submissive, Vanilla on January 27, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I use the word Bitch loosely. To me it is a pet name nothing more. One thing I will not do is use pet names out of anger. I was sitting around the other day talking to Arianna and I was trying to remember the last time I truly lost my temper. A month ago I did come close someone was really getting on my nerves, but actually mad I cannot recall.

There has been a couple staying with me for about 4 months, they are getting ready to move. A Dom in Daytona Beach called and asked if I could help them out. What a fucking mess it has been. He is stupid I do not like him at all. She is very sick a lot of medical issues going on.

She has had me try and talk to him, he has a real bad temper, and I have had to step in a time or two and put him in his place. I have never met a man who is so self centered, non-caring, and selfish. You get the picture, last week she had to beg him to spend five dollars on a Bra. New shoes are flip flops.

Anyway I tried to have a talk with him several times. and I put it like this. If a Bitch is going to lay on her back, spread her legs, and take what ever you have to dish out. You need to man up and take care of your woman. You need to put her first no questions asked. You need to make her your number one priority. If she ask for something buy it. I am not talking a car or something outrageous, but to deny the basic needs, is just wrong.

You should never at anytime lay a hand on a female , okay out of anger, to call one a stupid cunt, a sorry ass bitch, then expect her to lay and spread that night. Man please.

I know a lot of people that follow my blog think I am out there somewhat, maybe to strict. I am strict, and again very big on protocol, but the word abuse is not in my vocabulary, nor has it ever been.

The submissive or slave is the back bone of a D’s or M’s relationship. What is a Master without either? I truly believe the submissive or the slave gives the Master the drive, if that makes any sense.

I am not just speaking about BDSM I am speaking about Vanilla relationships as well. I see abuse more in Vanilla relationships more than a D’s or M’s. Maybe I just have not noticed it in the D’s community as much.

The bottom line is. If A Bitch Will Lay on her back and give her all, then take care of her.

 

Vile

I Was Somewhat Annoyed Last Night

Posted in abuse, Annoyed, bdsm, bi-sexual, Bond, Bondage, chain, Chained to the floor, Cherish, Christians, Consensual, controlling, Dominants, Email, fetlife, Friends, Friendship, fucking, Health, Master, Open Minded, oral, oral sex, poly, Protocol, pussy, Safe, Safe and Sane, sex, sharing, slave, sucking dick, Text, Trust, Vanilla, Verbal abuse on December 24, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Tish and I had just finished Dinner, and a knock at the door, a very good friend of mine came over , but she did not recognize him because he was not in uniform, once he told her who he was I told her to let him in. He has a habit of just showing up, but we are really close so I do not mind.

He had his slave with him, I guess they had just returned from Orlando. I could tell almost immediately that their main focus was on Tish, so I just kinda went with the flow of things. We have been really good friends for a couple of years, soI tend to look over a lot of things.

I could see him looking at his slave, as if he was waiting on something, and the subject of sharing came up again. We had already been over this or I thought,, maybe I did not make myself clear the first time.

I am not going to post pictures of Tish on here, but I did post one of us at Seaworld on my FB in my group. You have to be a member to see, sorry about that. Tish is really smoking hot, a little taller than I am, as a matter of fact I am the shortest man she has ever dated.

Anyway I just cannot believe the subject even came up again, with my friend knowing how I feel about sharing. I forget what we were talking about, and out of the blue his slave says so you do not share. Tish was standing by in the service position, and I had to remind her about offering company drinks. I did not really say anything Tish is still in the learning mode, and it does take time.

So again I explain why I do not share. Now if for some reason Tish wanted to be with a female, which she does not, I would allow, and I would not take part in anyway.. She has been with a woman before, and does not really care for it.

If I just out right told her to she would, and not even hesitate, but it would only be to please me.

Here is the thing, we as Dominants are to take care of ours. I have been mentoring a young couple who both has anger issues, but the male when he gets upset, he tends to say some very nasty things. that are very hurtful.

So I asked him, give me one good reason why you two should argue? I am just asking for one reason. He could not answer, as a matter of fact anyone reading this cannot give me a reason. She on the other hand gets angry because he has trouble telling the truth. that I can somewhat understand, but it is still not a valid reason to argue.You call him out on it confront and let it go.

Ladies, subs and slaves, here is my way of thinking. A woman no matter what her status is, vanilla, submissive, or slave. Cooks the mans meals, does his laundry, keeps the house clean. Here is the kicker, she lays on her back spreads her legs, sucks his dick, gives up the ass , and the male is going to disrespect her, get the fuck out.

Now I love to cook, I do not mind doing the dishes, I will even throw in a load of laundry, not much on folding. I was looking for a slave not a house keeper, or mother.

So if your woman is going to lay on her back and take pretty much what ever you want to do, why would you as a male, Vanilla or Dominant even think of putting your woman down, be it verbal, mental, or physical.

If your a Dominant and you have anger issues, maybe you should rethink your status.  I am not going to say I do not get upset, because I do, I even get angry, I will cuss like a sailor, but never I repeat never at my property. I would never disrespect her in anyway shape or form. Now if you are not in my circle, I do not even see you, I want nothing to do with you, I could really careless. If you are my friend, I will bend over backwards to help you.

So the couple last night are very religious, I do not understand the sharing, but both are very christian like. I started to explain in Viles words.

Look I love to eat pussy way to much, to be down there, and I have this mental picture of some dude banging my bitch. I love to kiss, so thinking of her sucking some dudes cock, well that is not going to happen.

They did exchange phone numbers, and fetlife id’s . Tish received a text about a half hour later. Tish likes to be restrained at night, so I bought her a chain and padlocks , she explained in the text, her chain was ready and she was turning in for the night.

Okay even if I did want her to be with another female, knowing that is really not her thing, is that really fair to Tish. Could it be detrimental to her well being? Sure it could.

As a Dominant, I am suppose to lookout for Tish, not only physically but mentally. , if I force her to do something she really does not want to do, what kind of Dominant does that make me? Will she still respect me after it is all said and done? I think the feelings would change somewhat. I broke my word, from the start I made it clear I do not share. I do not mind someone looking, but hands off. If you were to see Tish’s body you would understand why I do not mind someone else looking.

I was somewhat disappointed in my friend because he had his slave ask yet again, he knew I would not say anything out of the way to her.

I do want Tish to make friends with other Subs and slaves in the lifestyle. I think that is very important for her growth. So she has an understanding of how others live. I would think that would be something every dominant would want.

So call me greedy, stingy, but the bottom line is my pussy is just that my pussy. My friend who was over last night is not the first, it is like dudes are coming out of the woods. WTF.

I just do not get it.

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If You Are Not Submissive

Posted in bdsm, Dominants, married, Married Dominant, slave, Spanking, submissive, Vanilla, Vanilla Friends on December 22, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a problem that happens all to often, more so with those who are submissive, not so much with dominants and you will understand why.

A female meets someone she is interested in, it seems like they have much in common. With the one exception. He is Dominant, and she is not submissive. I am a lot of female friends who are not submissive, and I really prefer to keep it that way. It gives me an out at times, just having someone out of the lifestyle, that I can just hang with. While in a relationship not so much, I prefer my slave to be by my side when I am out.

So the female is not submissive, but she is interested in someone she has met. When it comes to the time for him to explain who and what he is about, sometimes a relationship has already bloomed, more so with the females feelings.

While I did medical transport, at times a nurse would accompany the patient, and I would see the nurse on a regular basis, sometimes I would get asked out, because I never crossed that line at work. This was my time to come clean, I felt like I had to expose part of my life to someone who was somewhat a stranger.

So I explained part of my lifestyle, 99% of the time, a short conversation was all it needed to make one change their mind. Then the 1% I had to go into more detail. Most of the time once I explained myself, we just remained friends, but there were those who seemed somewhat interested. I did not pursue anything with the ones who were interested in experimenting , I just left it at that.

Then at times words are not enough, some Dominants feel that just maybe things can work out. Once into the start of a new relationship, the Dominant see’s that such a relationship is not and would not be fair to the female. The Dominant comes to realize, that he would be doing more damage than good.

Many times a female who thinks they are submissive or at least want to give it a go, once into the swing of things she see’s the light. She comes to terms that this type of relationship is not for her. She then wants the Dominant to change, change who and what he is. This is not going to happen, and many times everything comes to an abrupt end, including any friendship that was left.

At times it is best to remain friends, and work on keeping any feelings both have developed , at bay.

While I do understand, because I am guilty, when I was married I was trying to change. I wanted a family a nice house, a child. It did not take long to realize that I had made a very bad mistake. I could not change who I was. I was not happy being me. I was a fake, Cook outs with the jone’s, the Smith’s. Drinking beer with Bill. That was not me. I needed the control, the kinky sex, the bondage, most of all the spankings.

I was man enough to come clean about who and what I was. My then wife asked for a divorce. I can say while married no matter how unhappy, how depressed, or miserable I became. I remained LOYAL at all times. Although I did meet Bea before my divorce, we had dinner three times, but no contact of any kind. It was not until I was divorced and out of my then house on the beach did I pursue a D’s relationship.

The guilt I felt was a heavy burden, I felt like I had crushed someones life at the hands of my selfish needs. I was only thinking about me and no one else. This is how I felt.

Then after much thought, I was not being selfish. The fact of the matter was, I was not being fair to my wife. I was leading my wife on, I was not able to give her the life she wanted. I was holding her back.

I agreed to seek counseling, I only did this to make me feel okay. I wanted to give my ex-wife the benefit of the doubt. Even after I explained to the pastor what my feelings were, he just said I was selfish. No I am being selfish by staying .

After Bea and I had split, I entered several short term relationships, knowing fully well, they were not going to work. These were with single woman I had met through work, some lasted only a couple of weeks.mainly because I was asked to change , and I refused. I was not going to let my cock run my life. I needed to find that special one.

I searched for over a year and a half, to find a slave who fit my needs and my needs only. I laid all the cards out on the table. I made it perfectly clear what I expected in a relationship, I was upfront about everything. Low and behold Tish agreed.

I expected Tish to just walk away, but that is not what happened. Each day we grow more and more, and we are both moving forward on a positive note.

If you are not submissive, find a partner who wants to explore in the bedroom, maybe then you may want to expand out of the bedroom.. Be who you are, you do not need to change for anyone. Be yourself, most of all be happy.

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