Archive for the you cannot change a submissive Category

Training Your Slave

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Consensual,,, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owned property, Safe and Sane, sane and consensual, Slave, Submission, Submissive, TPE, you cannot change a submissive on September 28, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

A slave (sometimes called property or servant) is a term used to describe an s-type and much like a Master, is often used a variety of ways. Most often this term is used to refer to the submissive person in a consenting Master/slave relationship, usually defined as a 24/7 TPE relationship that is greatly respected within the local BDSM community.

The word “slave” is gender-independent: slaves can be of any gender and sexual orientation. If gender is to be indicated, use a phrase such as “female slave” or “male slave”, or the common compound terms slave-girl or slave-boy. Some male slaves are sissified – i.e., they prefer to be treated and referred to in a traditionally feminine manner, and some regardless of gender, prefer to use alternate pronoun conventions, ask someone if you’re not sure what personal pronouns they prefer.


I have touched on this in the past but really not into much real depth. While some think having their cock sucked is a form of training it really runs much deeper.

Although I love sex , I have this thought of been there done that. Growing older and wiser my relationship runs much deeper. You want control but you also want control without any resistance. If a slave is pushing back or having trouble following directions then you need to sit down and find out what is going on in the slaves head. Your plan as a Master should of been discussed prior to any type of agreement.

What kind of slave are you looking for ? What kind of slave do you want representing you ? Do you want a slave with children or would you consider ?

Recently I was helping a submissive look for a dominant , I contacted probably 75 Dominants around the same age as the submissive and almost all said they were not interested because they were looking for a submissive around the age of 18 to 21. Now these were 50 and 60 year old men who had not been active on fetlife in months and even years and had giving up on any type of relationship. My emails were only answered I am guessing because they received a email and nothing more.

Obedience implies compliance with the direction or command given to the slave by her Master. For a slave to be considered obedient rather than simply trained in obedience, she must respond reliably each time the command is given, by her Master. A slave can go through Obedience training and not be totally obedient requiring additional drastic training technics. If a slave is referred to as being Obedience Trained she should comply immediately with every command her Master gives her. In the strictest sense an Obedience trained slave is an obedient slave.

Training a slave in obedience can be an ongoing and lengthy process depending on the slave and her Master, the methods used, and the skill and understanding of both the Master and the slave. The level of obedience the Master wishes to achieve with the slave is also a major factor in the time involved, as is the commitment to training by the Master.

So with me service tops everything and this includes sex, then another must is total obedience. Both of these go hand in hand but then I am going to add loyalty , loyalty is a must. Before I entered my now relationship I made it clear I was a service orientated dominant and I explained everything in such detail there were no questions, then obedience, I explained I would not tolerate any games or push back once the training had begun.

While a owner stresses respect respect is something that is earned but I made it clear that when out she would show total respect to not only me but others as well.

How long is the training process ? Well that would depend on the two of you. How consistent are you ? Patience plays a huge role in training just because a rule is broken or a mistake is made , it does not mean it is time to punish. You as a owner have to realize mistakes are going to be made. I had a master tell me one time he could train a slave in 30 days or less and I was like really?

I find it hard to believe you can train a slave in 30 days or less because it takes you longer to get to know the slave than just 30 days. Training is mental , being able to understand how the slave thinks and why they think the way they do. changing habits. The idea is to get in the slaves mind so you can fully understand.

While training you the master are touching on several different areas at the same time. How to walk , speak , sit and where allowed to sit , how to cook and prepare your food , how to dress, when and where to sleep and how to interact with others while out.

One thing that has to be made clear , then relationship you enter must be consensual and nothing less. When you are negotiating your relationship you have to make everything clear. What the slave can expect during training , the service that is expected , the obedience that is expected and the loyalty. Then the sex comes up , you the owner needs to explain your needs and wants when it comes to sex , and this would include anal and oral and anything else you feel may be a need. If the slave says no to any of your needs then you do not have the right slave , cut your losses and move on. Do not , and I mean do not give in to any of your needs. Once you both have agreed then you can proceed. Often training begins without the slaves knowledge and once it begins you need to stay firm. You must answer any questions that is asked , but you never give a reason as to why you are doing something.

Sex , you have negotiated you have both come to a consensual agreement and one thing you have to remember sex is about you and only you the owner. You take without asking or you can direct without asking. You never ask to fuck or to give head you direct. You use and use often , the slave is your property.

I myself incorporated some humiliation during and after training , even today at times I use humiliation if I think it may be needed to make a small attitude adjustment. Humiliation can be effective when it comes to a little bit of a attitude.

Many people associate BDSM with just sex and kink but to a few and I mean very few it runs much deeper.

Another problem people in some cases settle for less than what they are looking for. When you enter such a relationship you know in your mind that the relationship is not going to work or you will not be happy. We do this because as humans we have the need for companionship , but when it comes to the lifestyle it is important to find the right click.

You Dominants and Masters out there could be living the dream and with a little work and dedication then end result is unlike anything you have seen.

Things have changed since the birth of the TNG the younger generation. Most of the lifestyle is about sex and do not get me wrong sex is awesome I fuck every chance I get and they the younger generation has the right to believe and follow their own way.  Several years ago I tried to attend a munch and a 18 year old told me my kind of people were not welcome and dont let the door hit me on the ass on my way out.  So it is my understanding the younger generation has no respect for the older generation and I am good with that. This is the reason I no longer mentor any longer you can figure things out on your own.

The training of your slave will vary from slave to slave , each slave thinks different , acts different and behaves different , has different needs and habits. These reasons is why it is important to get to know the slave before you start any training..


The photo is of our room for our 6th anniversary




You Cannot Change A Submissive

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, bdsm, commitment, communication, control, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, Rules, slave, submissive, sucking cock, you cannot change a submissive on April 30, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

No one really knows why a submissive is a submissive, no one really knows why a slave is a slave. A submissive or slave cannot even answer that question. The only real answer is , it is a need, it is a deep feeling from within. They have the need to please and serve.

To someone who is vanilla this is very hard to understand and most men who are vanilla will not except this type of behavior , they do not understand nor do they want to understand.

You cannot say I know what is best for you, you cannot say it is abuse because it is not abuse. Fulfilling someones need is not abuse. Abuse happens daily just look around at the women who have black eyes, busted lips, that is abuse.

So it is one or two things , your either close minded , or you do not want the responsibility. You care but you don’t care. You care about your needs, you want your dinner cooked, you want your house cleaned, you want your laundry done, you want your cock sucked, you want to fuck her in the ass, but her needs do not matter.

She wants rules, you want dinner cooked. She wants to be spanked, you want your cock sucked. See if your not willing to step into her world, you are only thinking down a one way street. You are self centered only thinking about your needs, and yet you expect the relationship to work.

I can tell you from experience if you are not able or willing to fulfill ones needs they will find someone who will and someone who will enjoy a D’s relationship.

I lived with a slave for seven years, around the 6th year I began to let my feelings get in the way because I felt like I was abusing her. In the end I was not longer the Dominant I said I was, love did not matter, the amount of time we had been together did not matter, she packed up and left. It was not her fault it was mine. I lost control of the situation and I was not able to regain control. You cannot back track.

You want all the womanly duties, but your not willing to give in return. Yea that is pretty fucking selfish. The submissive is willing to give 110%, but your not wanting to put any effort into making the relationship work.

Then if you are willing to step up to the plate you are not going to learn from a book. A book can be a good reference guide, a book can give you an idea, but if you are reading the Fifty Shades Of Grey and your using this book which was poorly written by the way, you really do not have a clue.

The bad news is becoming the Dominant she needs is no easy task, it is not something that happens over night, it is not something you can learn in a month, or even a year. So you will have to seek out a mentor, someone who has been in the lifestyle for a very long time. Someone you can meet in person, and you listen, and listen, and you listen, and your going to listen some more.  The real bad news is every submissive or slave is different, every submissive or slave has different needs, they need different rules, different structure, the communication may be on different levels.

It will not matter how much the submissive likes you or loves you if you are not able to fill the shoes they need you do not stand a chance. You have a few choices, you learn and you except or you find someone you have more things in common with and less responsibility…