You Are A Submissive No You Are A Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master & Slave, relationships, Self-identification, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on March 11, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

The world is full of stupid people , we all know stupid cannot be fixed. The world is full of idiots , again cannot be fixed. We all know the world is full of Predators again cannot be fixed. The world is full of abusers and once a abuser always a abuser. The world is full of rapist , again cannot be fixed. The world is full of pedophiles yes very sick but cannot be fixed.

The above our medical professionals say all of these people can be fixed , well with the exception of stupid and idiots. We can give medication , we can send to rehab , and we can offer group meetings and regular appointments but the truth is those people are poison.

Then we move into the world of BDSM a world like our universe that has no end and we have the capability of stepping into other worlds, we have the capability of experimenting , we have the capability to explore new and decide where we fit in.

Wikipedia

BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience.

Look at the word Self-identification because it will come up again soon in my post it is very important.

As much as I would like to believe I am not perfect, yea I know a big pill to swallow but it is true.  While I am close to perfection I do mess up every now and then but when I do it is usually something I have no control over. When it does happen I take a step back I rethink things and I move on with a different plan.

Where am I going with this ? I did not just wake up one morning and say hey I am a Dominant , or a Master titles are really useless if they are not acknowledge in a form or respect from someone other than you.

It took years for me to evolve , years to learn and learning from mistakes and yes I made the same mistake more than once before I learned it was not someone else it was me.

It took me years to be able to self identify so I could determine the direction I wanted to go , still stumbling and making mistakes.

I just like you had to go through a Self-identification process , while others were trying to tell me who and what I was. Self-identification is not a over night process and it a process that one has to put a great deal of thought and soul searching.

The thing that makes it a hard rode to follow are the fine people I mentioned above. The stupid , the idiots, the predators , the rapist,he abusers and in some cases the pedophiles. You have to think smart and keep your emotions packed away because the above mentioned will hurt you .

You meet a Dom on a dating site , maybe craigslist , maybe in a chatroom. You talk for a while then you agree to meet and twenty minutes into the conversation he is telling you who and what you are. You are not a submissive you are a slave really? This dude has been talking twenty minutes and he has you figured out , while he has no clue what your favorite color is , what your favorite movies are , the foods you like and he has already made a determination on who and what you are. He knows nothing about your family or upbringing , the kind of friends you have.

The things he does know is if you swallow , if you take it up the ass , if you are into humiliation oh and if you are Bi sexual if not willing to try.

Self-identification  The act of identifying yourself as a particular kind of person. Knowing and understand who and what you are. Being able to communicate with others about who and what you are and what you not only want out of life but what you expect.

Self-identification requires self thought and understanding on many different levels. A good example , your are a Slave , um no I am submissive. Now this is not to say as you grow while in a relationship you could have growth or something may inspire you to explore the option of entering such a world.

You cannot chat with someone or meet someone once or twice and the Dominant come to a conclusion of where you fit in the lifestyle. In order to make that kind of determination someone would have to know you inside out.

So questions that come to mind , why do you think I am a Slave ? How do you know I am a Slave? What are you going to get out of such a relationship ? What are your goals in a Master / Slave relationship ? Once confronted chances are there will be no answer , chances are anger will come out simply because you questioned his experience ..

I went through a rather long process of Self-identification , figuring out who and what I was about a year. First I had to understand me , then I had to understand what I wanted out of this one life I was giving. At this point and time in my life I had hit rock bottom, going through the guilt , the poor me self pity , the whole world was against me when in fact I was against myself. My problems were self inflicting , I myself created a mess I had to figure out how to clean up. I spent a year alone , dating from time to time just for the companionship someone to talk to. Many times we settle for less just for the companionship and security knowing it is not going to work , but it works for the moment and time..

Self-identification never let someone try and take this from you it changes your whole identity , it changes your whole world and you will not be happy.

I have never figured out why so many are stuck on titles , I am assuming that is why some try to put you in a category , you are slave and I am Master. The word Master puts him on a different ego cloud, his chest swells so much he can hardly breath and when you come back I am not a slave I am submissive the chest then begins to deflate. Anger comes out he then starts to get aggression , this is a side you have not seen and it should be a warning sign. I hate the word red flag , red flag has no meaning , anything can be labeled as a red flag. When you talk to others they will say oh he does not text back immediately  that is a red flag you should dump him.

Being able to see and understand if you are just being used , used as a toy , a fuck toy. You find yourself on your knees most of the time sucking dick or getting your ass beat for a couple of hours a month and never hearing from him. Doing things you never thought you would , sending pics and videos which you have and were totally against. What are the benefits of such actions unless it is just a control thing ?

I said once before every morning when you wake you stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom and take a deep look. Then you wash your face and make to bad go away and bring in the good.. I guess kinda like the wax on wax off.

If you are knew to the lifestyle you know absolutely nothing. You have spent hours reading and what you are reading is someones opinion and you don’t even know if it is true. You spend hours chatting in BDSM rooms most of the Dominants their are web Doms who are single and will remain single. There are Doms making unrealistic demands , demands you call them Sir or Master. He gets your phone number you both masturbate then he has to go. The whole conversation zeros in around sex and nothing more he has not intentions of moving nor do you because you want to find someone next door.

If you want something you have to be willing to put effort into getting what you want. You have to be willing to work for what you want. If something is just given there is no respect for it.

After the Self-identification process and you meet your prospective owner your job has not ended because now you have to negotiate your relationship at this time you are able to make demands , you have to explain who you are and what you need out of a relationship. It is very important you stick to your needs and not give in. He will then make his demands and you need to listen and ask questions.

The insecure Dom , this are the ones who show anger , do not trust, want all of your passwords. You are accused of cheating , you cannot do anything right. You are not a true submissive. Most of the time it is just verbal , humiliation , mental but at times it can get physical. All of this is abuse but once it gets physical it will never stop. The insecure Dom will not communicate , he will not talk or listen. At this time you sit him down and say look things are going to change or I will make changes for you.  Stand your ground.

If you want some good information bestslavetraining.com

Self-identification never let someone tell you who or what you are.

The Slave

Posted in Uncategorized on February 21, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I love this

thekinkyworldofvile

I never pressured Arianna to call me Sir or Master , I waited because such an honor is clearly earned.

I loved the steps I took in building a relationship, I loved watching the relationship grow, but I also knew in order for it to be successful I had to be who and what I was.

I wanted Arianna to ask , and I waited for that question. Will you be my Master, I knew then I was on the right path.

Although we spoke of training and what our goals were , yes hers and mine , I did not go into any great detail and only answering questions when they were asked.

By earning ones respect you get so much more than trying to demand submission. You can demand submission but your not getting the whole picture nor are you entering a true relationship with any meaning.

A…

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We Are Master And Slave

Posted in Uncategorized on February 20, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I love this

thekinkyworldofvile

Last Friday we attended a local MAsT meeting and I can say it was one of the best meetings I have been to…

The topic was one I would of never thought of , The Seven Deadly Sins , how interesting does this sound when you attached BDSM to the topic.

Last year I was speaking with a very good friend of mine and the topic of Arianna came up and he said it was like I hit the power ball . He continued saying the relationship we had was very unusual even for a Master and Slave. As I was trying to take in his words I did not fully understand mainly because I am just me.

I very seldom speak about what I have done , nor am I one to brag. Many who know me think I am conceded but that is so far from the truth…

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B. E. S. T. slave training.

Posted in Uncategorized on February 19, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Best Slave Training has a ton of information

thekinkyworldofvile

It is not often I pimp to many blogs or Web Sites but when I do it is for a good reason. To me it is kinda like recommending someone for a job , or someone asking me to be a reference for someone which I never do.

I learned a very long time ago not to stick my neck out for anyone , with the fall of a well known Gorean Master who got into a lot of trouble and did a little Prison time.
While at a munch last week I was speaking with another Dominant about him , and how he fell from grace. He was very well respected and really had it made. I believe when he got into trouble he was living with nine slaves. So for those reasons I never I mean never put myself out there like that any longer.

Our world the…

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You Want The Pussy But Not The Responsibulity

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, codependent, commitment, communication, Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Protocols, pussy, Slave, Structure, submisive, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , on February 19, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

There are idiots everywhere , and there are people who think with their Cocks as a matter of fact their cocks run their life. If you were to cut the mother fucker off they would be lost.

Why do most people associate BDSM with abuse ? Because of the above the idiots , the retards who want the pussy but not the responsibility.

Those who play the game , those who hurt people because they have no clue, just take out a flogger and start swinging without a care. Those who rape because you think they want to be forced. Those who see Submission as a weakness. Those who want the control but give nothing back.

I have zero respect for those Married Doms or claim to be Dominant. Think about it if they were so Dominant they would be running their house , but that is not the case their wife better known as Mommy take care of them.

Something I hate some stupid fuck makes a comment and leaves no way to contact them or respond to my reply.

FullPotato

There are still core behaviors consistent to all humans. While everyone is an individual, they still share humanity’s foils.
Where is the line between domination and abuse? Are those interchangeable terms? When does the master/submissive/slave relationship change from positive to negative? In-fact what constitutes a positive relationship?
This fuck has not a clue about the lifestyle but has read enough to know there are millions of fucking retards who are predators , those who abuse.
I have blogged about Married Doms probably 50 times or more out of almost 3000 post and not one , not one has stood up and said a word or justified his reasoning .
You who are submissive seeing married Doms and that is cool as long as you know he will never divorce Mommy. He is with you because his wife will not take it up the ass but you will. The minute you become needy he will drop you like a bad habit.
If and when a Dominant takes that step into a brand new world your life changes , it is like hitting puberty all over again. Your thought process changes , your needs change , your wants change, and the type of woman you are looking for changes.
It is like starting elementary , stepping up to middle school then high school , you never stop learning.
I watch , I listen and I observe. I never want to stop learning each day is a new experience . You learn by others mistakes , you learn by thinking before you act , you learn by thinking logically, you learn by taking responsibility for your own actions, You learn by knowing your decision affects two and just not one.
The main problem with a new Dominant is he kinda knows what he wants , he has envisioned the role , the things he wants to do , but his thoughts are purely sexual. He has not sat down and thought the whole process out. His rules are sexual , demeaning , humiliating , rough and thoughtless. He has not thought through the emotions that will come out , nor the neediness , and in some cases the codependency side of the submissive. While thinking about having a slave non of the above has come to his thoughts. The Dominant will become defensive , he will start losing his temper pushing you away , calling you names, then comes the end he explains you are not the one for him.
One of the first things I tell a new Dominant is to find a mentor 1 out of a 100 will take that advice and 1 out of a 100 will succeed. The other 99 will put the blame on the slave because she was not a true slave , her submission was fake.
These guys fail because of a lack of knowledge and a lack of caring. These guys will move from slave to slave to slave and he will find something wrong with each one because he is not willing to put the effort into building a relationship. These guys are only interested in getting their cock sucked , fucking someones ass , just using until she is no longer fun or he just gets bored.
Building a M’s or D’s relationship is not an easy task if you are serious and have a plan. Before handing out any rules you have to know the Slave inside and out. You have to know what makes her think the way she does. Again this takes the want , this takes effort and this takes a need.
As young Dominants we all had the same thoughts when it came to rules . You will never wear panties , you will always wear a skirt, you will worship Master Cock, you will be ready for inspection at all times, your pussy must be shaved at all times , your ass will be ready at all times. Then we hit the Dominant Puberty stage and our thoughts change..
The truth is with a little planning , a little need , a little caring both can have the ultimate relationship but both have to have the need. The Slave the need to submit and serve , the Dominant the need to take control and responsibility.
I run a very smooth home , there are no problems , there is no Drama but most of all there is no arguing. I have more protocols than I do rules , as a matter of fact you can turn your protocols into rules. Rules are meant for self improvement , rules are meant to keep your slave on a straight path. Both rules and protocols are to be followed and it is the Dominants responsibility to insure the Slave follows and he has to let the Slave know there are consequences if a rule or protocol is not followed. In public a Slave is a direct reflection of her owner.
You want sex on demand , you want your cock sucked on demand, you want anal sex on demand. You want everything on demand but you have to give back more than you take. You have to be willing to take the good and bad. You have to be willing to stay consistent on a daily basis. You have to be willing to communicate and listen. You have to be willing to talk to your Slave and not at her.
The question that comes to mind is , is there a such a thing as a perfect Slave ?  Absolutely there is and we The Masters create that perfect slave we mold to fit our needs and wants. We as Masters create our own world , have have the ability to control our life , our surroundings , and even out in public. If you are going to talk you have to be able to walk the talk,,, Hmmmm did that come out right?

Being A Dominant Is An Art

Posted in Uncategorized on February 18, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I love this blog

thekinkyworldofvile

Some twenty years ago I was talking to a Slave and she made the comment I am a blank canvas just paint me. I was like what the fuck are you talking about. I just want the pussy so I can move on.That is all I cared about and nothing more. I wanted to use and move on to the next.

Today I understand those words, and looking back if I was just not thinking with my cock, well who knows. Today I am in a good place. I am very happy and content.

A blank canvas is a good place to start. You can paint your vision. You can pint your life. You the Dominant are in full control of what you paint, and if you paint well, then your submissive will surely follow.

Before you can begin to paint though there are steps you have to take before…

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Men With Low Self – Esteem

Posted in bdsm, communication, Confidence, Low Self Esteem, Slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , on February 15, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was not sure what to blog about this morning , I just left the Tag office two weeks ago I bought a 1977 Grand Prix from my brother and it is in nearly pristine condition. So now I have a cup of black coffee and I am listening to Kid Rock, Live Trucker. One of the best entertainers of the decade. Smart , very talented , and he knows how to market himself. One thing that really stands out is his confidence.

Over the past year ive talked to Doms in the lifestyle who were single or in a relationship but still lacked that confidence thing. One Dom made the comment once the slave reached a certain point she would up and leave because he had nothing more to offer. Why would you make that statement in front of you’re property ?

There does come a time when the submissive or Slave becomes dependent of her owner. There comes a time when one becomes needy. The only way a Slave would leave is if you just done something really stupid.

Although you the Dominant are in complete control there is a fine line you have to walk , your property is watching you , your actions , you’re thinking, how you react towards others when confronted. You can push a slave to the point of no return. The Slave can feel and knows if you have her best interest in mind.

Anyway

 

The bookshelf in the bedroom is packed full of books on how to boost your Self-esteem , you have books on how to pickup women , books that provide pickup lines , you’ve spent thousands of dollars on CD’s on how to pickup women , and you have probably seen a shrink a couple of times , but night after night you end up home alone. You join supports groups with others who have the same issue going on, sitting around hearing how pathetic others are trying to make yourself feel better. You spend thousands going to work shops , attending motivational speaker sessions who rake in millions  , profiting from you’re own problems.

The real problem is not your self esteem , the real problem is rejection , being told no or to get lost or you do not have a chance. Rejection is a Mother Fucker, you become depressed , kinda worthless deep inside.

You go home to your nasty apartment , dishes piled up in the sink , clothes scattered everywhere, you order a pizza because you don’t cook , turn on some porn and jack off imagining you are fucking the chick on the CD you bought , when in fact you could be fucking her.

While I was single I had a small house and older one I think it was one of the old Sears homes they sold in the 50’s and 60’s , ah I forgot to mention it was in the Hood, 99% predominantly black. It was not long before I had made a handful of good friends , this was due to them knowing I was no threat , and I showed respect. There were some nights I went to bed and left the door unlocked.

My point being that is where I lived , I kept it clean , I enjoyed cooking , this was my kingdom.

A few months back my slave and I went to visit a friend or maybe just a acquaintance , but once we entered his apartment we just both kinda looked at each other, the place was a disaster. I was scared to sit anyplace it was that nasty. Gentlemen  this is a total chick turnoff.

Rejection is a Mother Fucker and it haunts some , makes some cry, and some even act like a turtle hiding their head , or maybe a ostrich sticking you’re head in the sand.

Those books you bought , those CD’s you bought , those groups you joined , the money you spent going to seminars , you might as well of raised the lid of your toilet and flushed all that money down , because everything in the above statement is someones opinion , and their opinion is making them rich.

Before you go out stand in front of a mirror and look at the way you are dressed and ask yourself who would date me dressed like this ? You’re hair are you well groomed ? Your shoes ? Are you still wearing polyester from the 70’s ?

My first sales Job was at a Dodge Dealership , I knew absolutely nothing about selling cars , but there were two things I picked up on . One if people drove on the lot they intended to buy. Two the system was rigged when it came to favorites and that is a battle that is hard to fight. You know who has the most fucked up credit in the world ? Cops yup cops have the most fucked up credit and they look at you surprised when you tell them you cannot sell them anything.

Sitting at the table one day a man was looking at a Dodge 2500 a fucking nice truck. I filled out the paper work and his wife was sitting there telling me how much they were willing to spend a month and not a penny more. I came back with the first numbers knowing he was going to say no but she was the one who spoke up and said no. I came back a second and third time , she stood up and said we are leaving while he sat there and said nothing. I looked at the application and I said to his wife you forgot to add you’re income , maybe we could get a lower interest rate by adding yours. She looked at me and said I don’t work I am a stay home wife. I looked at the application again and her husband worked on a oil rig in the gulf. I stood there thinking and I said I am going to go get some coffee , and I think you two need to go to the bathroom and give you’re husband back his Balls. The next day I clocked in at work and the sales manager ran up to me and said stay away from Mr Brown his wife hates you. Wow I really made a good impression , thank you.

Low self esteem , because his wife had beaten him down so much he felt he was worthless. Good for her.

I have had men tell me , man that chick is out of my league. I ask, what the fuck makes you think that? Oh I just know she would never go out with me. Something or someone has drilled this into his head.

You walk into the mall and and you see this hot babe at one of the kiosk and you are scared to walk up and strike up a conversation. Yea the truth is , she is probably  single because all guys feel the same way you do.

The fact is all that money you spent on those books, CD’s. Motivational speakers , you could of bought some awesome floggers , paddles, handcuffs , some nice lingerie , dildo’s butt plugs , tens units and ready to get your kink on.

The truth is it really does not matter what you look like , yea well okay there is a limit I suppose, but 99% of the time it does not matter.

It is about confidence , it is about standing tall , saying what you mean and mean what you’re saying. If you walk up to that chick standing in the kiosk who is doing nothing because shes not selling anything . You strike up a conversation , if you can hold her attention for 5 minutes you are in like flint. This is when you say hey lets catch some dinner. Chances are she will say yes. If she declines remember what you have learned kick the dust and move on to the next. Rejection is a mother fucker , even when you feel like you have lost that confidence , fake it til you make it.

Let her talk , you listen , she wants you to listen she wants to talk. She does not want to hear about your comic book collection , she does not want to know what a fucking genius you are. She does not care about the giant bug collection you have. In fact at this point she probably does not care what you have. You ask questions , find out what you have in common.

Throw those books away , what you are reading is someones opinion and chances are their own advice did not even work for them.

You could decide to go home to you’re cat sit home alone and wonder what the fuck is wrong with you. Feel sorry for yourself , feeling pathetic or you can man up take the panties off and be a real man.

Confidence will get you laid you can forget POF , Match, get like Nike just do it..