Archive for abused

Student accused of sexual assault says ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ made him do it

Posted in abuse, assault, bdsm, Fantasy, fifty shades of grey, Rape, Safe and Sane, sex, sexual assault with tags , , , , , on February 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

By Marisa Kabas on February 24, 2015


If there’s any lesson we can learn from the intense controversy surrounding the film version of Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s that when it comes to participating in BDSM, consent is key. But a young man in Illinois claims not to have gotten the message.

Mohammad Hossain, 19, a freshman at the University of Illinois, was arrested in Cook County for allegedly sexually assaulting a 19-year-old woman. He said it was a reenactment of Fifty Shades.

According to Assistant State Attorney Sarah Karr, Hussein brought the woman to his dorm room and asked her to remove all her clothing, except her bra and underwear. He then bound her hands and legs with belts and stuffed a necktie in her mouth.

Hossain used a knit cap to cover the woman’s eyes, Karr said, and removed the woman’s bra and underwear. He then began striking the woman with a belt. After hitting her several times, the woman told Hossain he was hurting her, told him to stop “and began shaking her head and crying,” said Karr.

Hossain continued striking the woman—including with his fists, according to an arrest report—and she managed to get one arm, and then another, free. But he then held her arms behind her back and sexually assaulted her as she continued to plead for him to stop, according to Karr.

The young woman finally escaped and told police what had happened. Hossain was arrested later that night and a judge set his bail at $500,000.

Although the victim of the alleged assault claims she told Hossain to stop multiple times during the encounter, he appears not to have gotten the message. When asked by the presiding judge how Hossain could have “let a movie persuade him to do something like this,” Hossain’s attorney replied that her client considered the act “consensual.”

How Deep Is Your Submission

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, anticipation, Arianna, ass fucking, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, cock sucking, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, control, controlling, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Forced Submission, fucking, Humiliation, kinky, Lies, Manic, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Security, Self Pity, slave, slave no limits, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, Training Arianna, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was sitting on the couch the other day and I was looking at Arianna. I was thinking how fast time has flown by , but what I was really thinking is how lucky I am to have found the perfect Slave , partner and wife.
I cannot say I built our home I have to say both of us built our home. It takes two to build a relationship and it takes two to work together so it can continue to grow.
So for me to sit here and say Look at what I did , would be a false statement. I may of laid down the grown work but without Arianna it would not of been possible.

I am always very cautious of those who use the words I or me on a regular basis. Most who do spend a great deal of time bragging, about what they have done or accomplished.

I am a firm believer we write our own ticket , we decide where and when we are going to go. We are responsible for our decisions, we are responsible for our right and wrongs. It is us to sets the pace in our life and what happens. Now there are times a wrench gets thrown in and we have to back up a little, but staying true in what you believe and do unto others as you would do to them, hmmm did that come out right ?

Although there are not very many people I like , I treat everyone with respect. If I don’t like you I have nothing to do with you. I am not going to get wrapped up in others drama or problems , I have my own house to take care of.

Drama will eat you up from the inside out like a cancer. Drama can destroy your home , drama can and will destroy your relationship no matter who brings it in through the door. It is not fair to bog someone else down with problems. This does mean you do not listen or help a friend in need , but there has to be a limit. Once it becomes a problem or a burden to you , then it is time to cut the rope unless you want to go down with the ship.

Submission is a beautiful thing , It puts you in a peaceful state of mind , the feeling of freedom , the freedom of being who and what you are, and you only have one to answer to. Your Dominant is the only one in your life you have to answer to, well excluding work but you know what I am talking about.

Just like meeting a New Dominant , and being asked about your limits. Well if your new to the life style you really have no idea. Being in a secure relationship with communication allows you to explore that side of you. Maybe you had limits in place, which is normal but as you grow those limits will slowly fade.

On Fetlife I love reading post when a guy says, I am looking for a bitch with no limits. What he is looking for is someone he can abuse and degrade and feel okay about it.
Early last year I was chatting with a Dominant who was mad because his slave left him because she would not fuck who ever he wanted her to. It was his right to make her lay down for who ever. The bad news is she came back , I am guessing maybe a codependent thing , maybe the feeling of being secure.
Can you really love someone if you just pass them around to just anyone ? Your going to fuck and suck who ever I say, where I say and how I say. Can that really be love?

There are those who share , there are those who explore but that is generally worked out between the couple, and there is nothing wrong with that. I myself am not the sharing type, well with a male anyway , a female would be different , but only if Arianna brought it up and she has a few times. Then you have to think about what your going to catch. It is not like it was in the 70’s when you could go get a shot.

You plant the seed , you water it , you fertilize it and it will grow. The same with your relationship. In a relationship your fertilizer is communication , and honesty. This allows the both of you to grow together..

All the kinks , the bondage , the cock sucking , the ass fucking , even to some the humiliation , the control , the submission. All of this comes as you grow , the more communication you have the more you will want to try or do, the more you will want to please the one who is in control.

In a steady long term relationship the submissive , or slave has the need to please and gets pleasure out of pleasing or know they are pleasing the one they are with.

Submission is not something you can demand , respect is not something you can demand. You will call me Sir , you will call me master. Really have you earned that much respect? I just met you why would I call you Sir? Maybe because it makes your ego swell. Maybe it fuels the Dominant inside you. Maybe you should earn that right.

Calling someone Sir or Mam is a lot different when your doing it out of respect than it is when being demanded.

I like the game , playing the game of earning someones respect , then one I am trying to form a relationship with. I like the challenge , I like the finding out how , when and where. I wait for that one word Sir. Then I know without a doubt I have been on the right track. Once you have earned that respect you have a wide open road.

When I met Arianna , I was truthful from the start about who I was and what I needed out of a relationship. I explained everything is such detail she had no questions. I am like that about anything I explain to her. Before I speak I look at every possible question that could be asked , even before Her Training started I explained everything is such detail she had no questions about anything , she just followed.

Following was her greatest down fall because she is one to trust to easy , she thinks other she had seen had her best interest in mind, just as many of you trust to easy. Under the wrong hands it can turn into a bad situation.

Rescuing and submission is not a good combination. You never as a Dominant want to be put in a situation where you are rescuing someone. Many times these are the ones who are wanting you to step in and clean up the mess they made. It is not that they cannot fix it , they just do not want to put in the time or resources it takes to fix.
Entering a relationship many do have some problems and some have problems they have no idea how to fix. If you feel you have a good chance in a long term relationship then it is okay to step in and handle a few things, just make sure your not on the Titanic with a bucket.

I told Arianna , I want you to be able to anticipate my every need. I want you to know when I need something. This was confusing to her at the start of our relationship. She asked me how am I suppose to learn all that , it seems your setting me up for failure?
Watch me and listen , that was the first 90 days of her initial training , and I can tell you the first 90 days was not a very easy task. Training is not made to be easy.
She watched and she listened and to this day she is on top of things. She is because it is a need for her. Her knowing she is pleasing me fuels her submission.

Knowing when someone needs down time is very important , knowing when someone has had enough and they just need time to let their mind go. This is something huge I believe in. Allowing Arianna down time , to see family and friends, taking her shopping. This place a huge role in supporting her.
You know at times Arianna gets somewhat Manic , that is her I accept her for who she is, but there are times you have to let the manic run its course , because slamming the breaks on something could do more harm than good, so I let out a little rope and if a mistake is made I fix it, not that there has ever been something drastic.
Knowing your partner means the world , knowing when to let a little rope out does more help than bad. Being there to pick things up , insures your partner you have their back.

Male insecurities , the two words that start almost everything argument , is what’s wrong ? These two words do more damage than anything , because it is not asked just once or twice especially is the answer is nothing. Then if the answer is nothing there has to be something wrong, so that question is just hammered until something is made up. This all comes back to the down time. Sometimes we just need to vegetate , think , let our mind go and just chill.

Who are you seeing? Are you cheating? Are you talking to anyone else? This means one or two things , the Dom you are seeing is very insecure which is not a good quality when it comes to a Dominant or he is the cheater. 99% of the time the accuser is the one who is stepping out , so then you need to ask him those same questions..

A Dominant who demands your passwords to all of your accounts that is a security problem as well as an ego problem, not to mention a lack of trust.
It cracks me up when these married fuck tards who are cheating on their wife does not trust their submissive. They cant be trusted but they cant trust the other one they are with. How fucking stupid is that? Fuck Tard was a nice word by the way.

We all choose our own path , you just need to make sure you are traveling down the right path , and you need to know your partner has your back..



Are You Being Exploited ?

Posted in abuse, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, blow job, Master And Slave, slave, submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 1, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You have taken a new turn in life , you have decided to take a new path , to some it can be dark , to some it can be erotic, to some it is scary. To some it is a life of paradise , and then to some it is all about abuse , being used and humiliated. Your broke until there is nothing left to break, you have no will power left and your self esteem is shot to hell.

Predators are alive and well and they are just not male they are females as well, and being new and not having a clue about the lifestyle you can really get fucked up.

Something happens when you meet that first Dominant or your first Mistress. All of your rational thinking goes right out the door, mass confusion kicks in and you cannot comprehend anything, and you are listening to the only one you know in the lifestyle he or she can do no wrong. Yea it does not always work that way more so if you do not have a clue about the lifestyle.

You know what pisses me off is if I take the time to write an email or send a text and I do not get a reply or it is a couple of days before I hear anything , that is just a total lack of respect.

So when entering a relationship you need to have open communication , more so if your not living together. LDR relationships are not so easy these days , I have been in and have known people who have tried LDR or Long Distance Relationships and very few have worked out.  The connection may be there , the communication may be there , the video time may be there, but your missing the physical side of the relationship and being human we need that interaction , without it things can get pretty lonely.

Being exploited in a LDR is really easy especially if your asked to send videos and a mass number of pictures. If you think your Newly found Dominant is keeping your pictures and videos private , well you need a slap of reality. Another sign would be if you spend more time having phone sex and actual conversation , once the Dominant is finished he is ready to hang up.

Yea here we go again the Married cheating Dominant , this is no way in any shape or form a Dominant , this is a man who gets off on exploiting women. This is a man who cannot run his own home , this is a man who cannot control his own home , this man is not a leader , in fact he is just taking up oxygen that others need.

You the submissive , you the baby girl or possibly a slave , you are being exploited , you are being used because you will do things this so called Dominants wife will not do. She will not suck did but you will , she will not take it up the ass but you will, she will not dress like a slut but you will , and this comes all with promises he will leave his wife and kids , pay child support lose his house, yea keep on believing this will happen.

I was on fetlife not long ago and I saw a submissive’s profile who was seeing a married man , but she prayed to god every night. Really are you kidding me. So he is exploiting her and she is trying to exploit god ? I mean if that sounds right. I guess if your good with your conscious then what does it matter , okay enough about religion..

You have both who are not true to the lifestyle Dominants as well as Mistresses , there are both who use and exploit those who are weak or don’t know any better. Maybe weak was not a good word to use , maybe  inexperienced is a better word.

Something I really hate or something that really annoys me is when you first meet a New Dominant for the first time and he says okay well lets start your training. That is a false statement because he cannot start your training because he knows nothing about you. Here is a list of rules I want you to follow and I want you to memorize them but next Friday. My question is how is that possible ?

Okay lets see here, I must worship your cock , okay I am not allowed to cum , okay , um I have to wear a skirt with no panties when I do get to see you for a couple of hours , Okay . These are not rules , this is a human with an ego problem. Many say I have an ego problem , but I call it confidence , I am very confident with just a touch of cocky on the side , with a little bit of smart ass added , mixed with a glass of go fuck yourself.  Ego problem not in the least , not even close.

Many see submission as a weakness , and they see this because they do not understand the lifestyle , remember we as humans are visual , Google , BDSM and click on images , there is your BDSM.

Many see submission as a way to use and abuse , just fuck with you , mentally , physically , and verbally , you are a hole and nothing more, some of you see the signs and you wish to ignore in hopes things will get better , and there are some who will get the nerve up to say you know what ? Go fuck yourself im outta here. You can however choose to ride the perfect storm out , but how much of your life are you willing to waste ? How much of your life are you going to throw away on a hope?

You sitting on the couch crying your sorrows away on your Birthday waiting on that text or email the one you never get because the Dominant was to busy. That is a form of being exploited , waiting on a text wishing you a Merry Christmas that never comes because the Dominant was to busy , yes that is a form of being exploited.

How much time does it take to send a text 15 maybe 20 seconds an email 5 minutes ? Your not worth that much time, a phone call once a day, are you not worth that much time , a call that does not include phone sex. Eh Ill make her wait I am the Master it will do her good.

My wife says it is okay for me to see others, Really ? Just like that she is going to say it is okay , knowing there is a chance her home could be ripped apart , something she has built , because we know the so called Dominant did not do it, remember he is the one who cannot run his own house.

So if your wife says it is okay for you to see other women , then I am assuming we can all three have lunch or dinner so she can look at me in the eye and say yes you can fuck my husband. Now there are some who would gladly let the worthless dumb ass go out and fuck someone else just so he will leave her alone. If what he is saying then he should not have a problem setting up a meeting.

Before Arianna and I met she was seeing a couple , but she was becoming very displeased with the relationship because the time spent with them was on their terms, what they did was on their terms. Being a third wheel is not always bad if your included in everything as it should be.

The deal was they would only have sex when they were all together in front of each other , well that was not good enough for him so he started trying to see Arianna on the side , but she would not give in , because there were rules and she did not want to disrespect the wife, that would of been exploiting her.

Two years later Arianna gets a Text , now Arianna tells me everything and I do mean everything. So over two years go by and this married dude still has Arianna’s phone number , Really are you serious? So he wants to see her , she explains she is now married and it would not be a good idea. His remark was well I am married to so what. See even after his wife gave in it was still not good enough he needed more.

Arianna and I were talking the other day about how much fun it would be to have a third , how much fun it would be to go out and do things. I have to agree it would be , and what will happen will happen , it may and that is okay and it may not and I am okay with that as well.

You have to be extremely careful bringing someone into your home , something the two of you have built, and finding the right one has proven to be difficult. The thing is it is not even about looks , or what kind of job , how much money someone makes, it is all about personality. Personality means everything , a fun go lucky wanna get out and do something.

Take baby steps , learn , watch and listen take mental notes , listen , listen and listen. If you do that a whole new world will open up for you.

How are you going to train me ? That was Arianna asking me that question. 80% your going to watch , listen and observe, when we are done you will be able to anticipate my needs without asking, you will have to want to learn me.

Arianna , I am afraid I am going to fail , there is no way I can possibly do that , I am going to fail then what happens to me ? The truth is there is no such thing as a failure , there is no failure with the right positive reinforcement, there is no failure with the right communication and dedication a relationship needs. There is no failure in a relationship if your not being used.

Dont get me wrong , I use Arianna , I use her for my pleasure , most of the sex is on my terms. I stand at the side of the bed and I snap my fingers and Arianna knows to much to the edge of the bed and spread. I use her I admit this be it sucking my cock just fucking , anal , being rimmed that is what she is for ,but and there is a but a huge BUT.

I give back 150% on a daily basis , I am there for her 24/7 365. Arianna knows she can fully depend on me, Arianna knows she can come to me and talk about anything. Arianna knows if a problem comes to light I am there to take care of it. I can assure you I give much more than I take.

Well vile how can you treat her that way are you not exploiting her ? Here is the thing I knew exactly what I was looking for in a woman and a slave. The key word here is SLAVE , not submissive , not a baby girl a slave.

So everything in our relationship was agreed on prior to entering a relationship, we both new what we wanted and needed. There were no surprises , and no lies. Everything was put out in the open…..

So this dude has had Arianna’s cell number for over two years are you serious? Two years go by and you still have someones number you have not talked to or even sent a text, how pathetic is that? Follow Viles plan if your in my phone and I do not hear from you in 60 days guess what happens ? Yep you get deleted , and it may not be because I don’t like you but your taking up needed space in my phone book and right now I think I have a total of 11 people saved.

I did get off track a few times , but if you follow me you know that is a giving.

I would like to do some more interviews so if someone wants to step up to the plate let me know…..



Things that Irritate Me

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Safety, greed, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , on January 15, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

It has been sometime since I have posted but we have been really really busy. We are moving on the 13th and things will be much better. The most important being Arianna’s commute will only be 23 minutes. The apartment is huge a little over 1200 sf two bedroom with two full baths. It does have an awesome gym which I will be visiting but the nature trails are awesome as well. We will be close to downtown Orlando as well, so there are a lot of benefits.

Things that Irritate Me , this is something I have had on my mind for sometime and it is just not about BDSM but life as well.

When it comes to BDSM what really gets me is when other Dominants tell someone they do not know what they are doing. I find that statement to be meaningless , mainly because every relationship is different , every submissive or slave has different needs , different kinks and different levels of submission.

I am against abuse of any kind and abuse does not have to be physical , it can be verbal and mental as well. I see so many who are willing to take abuse just to be in a relationship. This only happens though when someone has insecurity issues or a low self esteem.  Abuse can come in other ways as well. One being if you do not live together if you are not getting the time or communication you were promised from the start of the relationship. If you are not getting the communication or training your were promised ,I find that to be a form of abuse.

Then the almighty Married Dominant , The almighty married Dominant who has to cheat because he cannot run his own home, the one who does not care about his wife or children.

What you submissive’s or slaves do not understand is you will always be number two. As a matter of fact in most cases you don’t even have a name or a face. What you have is three holes that are used. Your a number just like a number at your local DMV.

What you do get is a full bag of broken promises , and I am sorry , I will make it better , I am going to leave my wife and kids and my home and pay child support. Really you truly believe this ?

When entering any relationship you want to be first , you want to be the one with a name and a face.

People who try and buck the system really irritate me , I knew a family that had 5 kids both parents on disability and received over 1400 a month in food stamps 1400 a month and midway through the month they were completely broke. So you add up all the checks they were getting from the male, the female and the mother , they were making a killing , but drugs were more important. The good news is they lost all of their kids to the state.

Women who use men and use their pussy to get ahead in life or working their legs through manipulation , spreading for favors or just using someone. There are really some weak men out there who would crawl naked through broken glass if they thought they were going to get laid.. I am not sure what goes through a woman’s head when she will just lay and spread take what ever is giving , just to get something. Those types of relationships never work for long but I have seen it drag on for a couple of years.

Trust is a huge issue with me , well when it comes to making friends. My circle of friends is very small and I believe the smaller the circle the better off you are.  The first thing I think of when someone wants to be a friend is they must have an agenda , there is something else they want in order to be a friend. Friends are someone you can trust someone you can confide in , talk to on any level. Yea today that is nearly impossible , if not almost unheard of.

False people irritate me fake people , people who try and play you or think your just stupid.  I am pretty good at reading people so I can tell something about you with the first couple of words out of your mouth.

Arianna and I have talked in the past about finding another submissive or slave to form a closed Triad.  What we found though is others just playing games , head games and I am not sure what someone gets out of fucking with someones emotions.  We have talked about it on and off but we are not longer perusing anything right now well at least until all of the stupid subsides. It really bothered me that some would waste someones times just for a laugh , shrugs Karma.

Racism is something I have never understood , I have never understood why we all cannot get along. When I look or talk to someone I do not see a color , I see a human being. . At the same time though you can feel the tension at times while out. I have never understood why people are so prejudice. The only thing I am prejudice about is stupid , and stupid comes in every color. I am prejudice towards people who work the system thinking they are owed something, and when something turns out fucked up they cry and bitch because they feel they were fucked over by the same people they were trying to fuck.  The way I see it we are stuck here with each other so we should work together and make the best of what we have to work with……

While I am not against religion I do not agree with organized religion , as you know religion was the cause of the slaughter in France this past week.  Religion is the cause of the slaughter in Iraq and Syria , all over the world for thousands of years. Everyone should be allowed to pray to any god they want to without fear.  Today religion is based on two things , fear and money . The poor are targeted promised hope and salvation as long as you give.

I know I have not spoken very much on BDSM but I just wanted to share some of my personal feelings.

In the united States 6 out of 10 children go without food on a daily basis, most who are able to eat are only able to eat at school when they go. Then you have these religious organizations running commercials about feeding kids in other countries. Help us feed the kids sponsor a child for only 19.00 dollars a month. I seriously doubt very much of that money even reaches the children, by the time you pay everyone , the cost of shipping , then transport.

The real reason truth be known we want to convert people , teach the word of god , pass out bibles with promises of hope.

So why not drill wells , show them how to plant , pass out condoms , instead of giving them everything let them work like we do in the USA.

What about the starving children here in the US ? Why do we not care about them ? Why do we not pass food out to the ones who need it , instead of helping someone who has no future here on our home land.

We as people have grown apart, it seems greed has taken over and we have forgotten who and what we are. Even families have grown apart , we are now what can you do for me not what can we do to help each other.

I remember when my grandfather died , he built Grandfather clocks for a living a very talented man. When he passed away he was not even out of the hospital and my family was going through his things , I truly felt bad for my grandmother. It was just greed and nothing more.

Well I have ranted enough This year will be an awesome year , much love to everyone.



The Kinky World Of Vile 2015

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Advice, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, communication with tags , , , , , , on December 26, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

2015 will be awesome in many ways. One being Arianna and I are moving the 13th of January. Although we love our house the commute is getting to be to much for Arianna.  We were lucky however the Landlord did agree to let us out of our lease early with no real penalties , with the exception of not getting out deposit back, on the good side the house is already rented.

We have both had the flu the past week or so first I then Arianna. I was almost over it but when hers kicked in high gear Karma came back and Bit me.

My blog for the most part is about safety , when it comes to women I have a huge heart submissive or vanilla. I also speak a lot about meeting new Dominants and what to look for and the questions to ask. Some steps are very important and it is very important to take each step without skipping any.

A lot of what I share is about building relationships but it does not really have to be geared towards a D’s Or M’s relationship.

I am going to do more interviews in 2015 but this time I want to get more personal, more on the kinky side of things.

I have talked about how important it is to get active in the local community. If you are looking for a new partner that is the best route to go. Many of you are afraid of being seen but I can assure you there are Doctors , Lawyers and even teachers who attend. Most are private so the chances of being seen are really slim. It is not like there is a sign hanging out front . WELCOME TO THE BDSM MUNCH . Attending functions would really take a lot of stress out of the picture.

I know I rag on married men a lot , maybe it is because they are easy targets and no one ever speaks up. If you think about it these guys are really not Dominants because they cannot even run their own house.  If you cannot keep your own affairs in order how can you Dominate someone else?

I do enjoy all the comments good or bad and I do try to respond to everyone. I like hearing different opinions as well….

Last , I do not claim to know everything , what I am sharing is my past , present and my plans for the future. I share what works for Arianna and I.

There is still going to be a Vile Radio coming early 2015 , things just got a little crazy and sometimes you have to put things on the back burner….

I am going to do more guest blogger as well, I think it is good to let people hear from others when it comes to their thoughts on certain topics…

2015 will rock and the kink will come alive..

Much Love to everyone….

New Year 2015


Let The Games Begin , Manipulation

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Master And Slave, slave, submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was thinking about something , the other night Arianna and I were talking and the subject came up about how some people were very manipulative , and how some used manipulation to get ahead, both Doms and Subs as well as slaves are guilty of using that process to try and get ahead.

Arianna asked me if I ever used manipulation to get what I wanted , and my answer was no.

In the past if I wad not looking for a relationship , I made that clear up front.
If I just wanted to hang out and just fuck or maybe session I made that clear, and there were no hopes of a permanent relationship. Although my sessions were far and few , that was mainly because I had to have a connection. If there was not a connection it was not going to happen, and that included sex. I had gotten to the point I actually had to have feelings for someone even when it came to play or else I got nothing out of it..

It has nothing to do with looks , well maybe to a point but it was more about personality, being able to hold a conversation, but the most important was knowing the slave was taking a real interest in what I had to say. Feelings were something I had to build and that comes with time. Although there are those rare instances when I just clicked with someone , Rare but it happened.

Manipulation can work both ways though it is not just with females but males as well.
We manipulate people to get what we want no matter who we have to step on.

That is one reason Arianna has had thoughts about forming a Triad. Bringing someone else in who had an agenda, not wanting to be number two but wanting to be number one.

A couple of months ago a Slave contacted us, and she was interested in joining our home.
She did not tell us she was already living with a Master who was taking care of her kids, that she did not mention.
She had a motorcycle she had to sell , the one he bought her. She did not tell us she had outstanding warrants in another State, or that she  had just had one of several mental break downs.
She had manipulated him enough to buy her what she wanted and that was not enough.
The out come was she was destroying his home, with the slave he was already married to. She was now causing problems within the home. So she had been caught in her manipulation game and was busted now she wanted to move on.

The game of manipulation is a game where there are no winners , everybody loses, and someone gets hurt.

I know a Master who had a slave and they had been together for a couple of years.
Once he told me who he was seeing, I was like man leave her alone she is poison.
That is a bad way to look at someone but the truth is there are some who are poison, and they kill everything around them.
This is a Master who had to have 6 slaves, I guess because it is an even number.
So a couple of weeks later he calls me and I hear the problems in his voice, and I was like dude I told you, I told you she was poison.
His remark was well I just cant put her out.
Wow you pack her bags and you sit them on the sidewalk , and you say your good byes.
He was lied to, and lied to about many things, including her medical, issues and her temper.
Now I hate to say it but his main slave is now gone, the slave he had been with for a very long time. He allowed this woman to come in and disrupt his home, and in the end he lost.

That is one of the things Arianna was worried about when we were talking about building a Triad. She felt someone or another slave could have an agenda.

I am not that weak, I would not allow someone to come into out home and disrupt what we have.

When he let this slave move in, he just brought her home and told his slave she was moving in.

Everyone loses including the one who is doing the manipulating, then they move on to their next victim. Like a leach they will suck the blood out of you until nothing is left.

The same with meeting a new Dominant who is not true. Chances are the game of manipulation is something and the only thing he has mastered.
He will drag you through the mud until there is nothing left.
To include your self esteem, your pride and anything else he can take that will not weigh him down, and he will toss you to the curb like a bad of trash, and laugh at you as he is leaving.

Many men will jump through hoops, roll over like a dog, and crawl through a mile of broken glass if they think there might be a chance to get their cock sucked.
I find that to not only be sad but pathetic as well. It shows just how weak one is and then he wonders what he did when he is dumped. The bad thing about this practice is he will do it over and over.

So you sit the submissive or slave down. The Dominant will say it is going to be like this, this and this, if you agree fine if you don’t it was nice meeting you

Being a Dominant is not hard , Maintaining a D’s or M’s relationship is hard. Maintaining the structure , the rules , the protocols , the task , everyday life that is hard. Maintaining the communication on a daily basis that is hard.

Once you enter a relationship as long as both are true , everything just falls into place just like dominoes , it is that easy. What makes the relationships so difficult is idiots.

Many times you can see the manipulation but for what ever reason you feel your hooked or there is no one else out there for you. When you do call them out on their game , now the guilt comes into play.

Just look at what Ive done for you. Look at the mess your life was in when we met. You are nothing without me, yea you have heard it before. The Dominant has lost ground and not he is trying to regain control, and by then it is to late…

Male or female never let anyone manipulate you , because it is a game that cannot be won.



I Am A Dominant

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, Advice, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Collar, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , on December 17, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I cannot fix you but I can guide you , I can give you the tools to put you in a much better place. I can give you communication so you know where you need to be as a slave or submissive.

I am a Dominant , I can teach , and give you advice so you will be able to see things in a much clearer way. I can help you understand the things you do not understand.

I will hold you just to hold you and want nothing in return. I will always put you first no matter what , and you will grow to know you can fully depend on me.

I am a Dominant , I will always be honest with you , I will never lie to you , nor will I lead you down a false path.

I am a Dominant I promise to give you the security you need , I promise to give you the structure you need. I promise to give you the stability you need , because that is what I do.

Being able to be yourself is the most important thing you can do in life. I want the two of us to become one. I want you to be open about your needs, most of all I want you to be you.

I will put rules in place and you will follow because you want to , you will follow because you need to , not because your have to. Following my rules will be a need for you , you will have the desire to serve me.

I am Dominant and you will serve only me , you will meet my needs and wants. You will have the need and want to serve .You know deep inside this is your freedom.

You will have the freedom to express yourself openly , you will feel right inside sharing your needs and your kinks knowing you will not be judged.

I will never abuse you in any way. I will listen and I will hear. I want to know your deepest thoughts and needs. I want to know the hurt deep inside you , I want to know the real you.

I am Dominant I will train you to fit my needs and you will adapt. I will use you for my pleasure. You will give because that is who and what you are , you will be free.

I am Dominant , when the time is right I will offer my collar so that you may endure more freedom and know the true meaning of being owned.

Walk with me and we will not fail.



What Fifty Shades Doesn’t Tell You

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Bondage, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to share this article I ran across in my readers section here on wordpress. This is really like an all in one post and it covers many different areas.

Here you will find a lot of good information…..

The blog is ….

#Beyond50 (2)

What Fifty Shades Doesn’t Tell You

The Local Dungeon – If there is a local dungeon where you live, don’t expect to be invited there until people get to know you at a munch or class. For many of us our kink life is a huge secret, one that would cause havoc in our lives if exposed. Some places have a more public play space where you have to sign up to be a member, or an event where you just have to buy a ticket and register, but these aren’t an everyday thing nor are they located for the most part in smaller cities. If you want in to the private parties, go to munches and make friends so people grow to trust you. No one sets foot in my house until I feel they are safe.

The D/s Factor – When you venture into the kink community whether it’s to a safe and laid back munch or to the local dungeon. The people there will not all be domly doms and obvious submissives. If you are of the D variety, no one there is your submissive. I don’t care if they identify as the lowest of slaves, they are not YOUR slave, and they are not there to serve you. Same for the dominants at a gathering. I am mistress to my kink family. I am not going to be your fantasy domme, I am not going to drop everything and order you about, and I am not going to appreciate being called mistress by you if I am not your mistress. It’s annoying.

Subspace Danger – Everyone writes about that lovely floaty fabulous feeling that is subspace. You are sent there by a talented Dom or Mistress through a deeply subservient mindset brought about by the release of endorphins while playing. Subspace is a very vulnerable place. You are basically high. You must have a good long while to come down from subspace before you drive, make important decisions, agree to play with someone else and negotiate anything more than was originally agreed on. There are unethical dominants or tops who will take advantage of your floaty ‘this is a wonderful state of mind’ so choose your partner wisely. Always remember, driving while in subspace is akin to driving drunk. Seriously, it is. My wife hit a bus after playing with her previous dominant who shooed her out the door after they played. Negotiate your aftercare needs to include care required during your return to ‘normal’.

Corset Issues – We’ve all seen them, the lovely corseted ladies with the plumped up breasts and the tiny waists. I love corsets; they do things for my body that shapewear cannot, but corsets come with their own issues. Beauty is not free people. Things you should know about wearing a corset include the following:

  1. Put your shoes on before you don your corset. You won’t be able to bend properly afterward.
  2. Going to the bathroom while wearing a corset is tricky. Take a friend if you can to get everything back in place, and other garments tucked in.
  3. Put your corset on last. It is a real bitch to try and put on your skirt, leggings, pants or whatever once you are laced in.
  4. If you eat a big dinner, you are going to get gas. You may get gas anyway because your stomach and intestines are squished.
  5. Your can crack a rib by pulling a high quality steel boned corset too tight.
  6. Driving is hard in a corset.
  7. Trying to get it back on after you play isn’t worth the trouble. Take a sexy robe, more comfortable clothes, or even a Snuggie with you down to the dungeon. Seriously, you may be all floaty in subspace, and you don’t want to wreck that feeling by trying to get your corset back on.
  8. If you are the top in a play scene and are wearing a corset you will have trouble bending to unpack your bag, you will get overheated more easily, and your ability to move about will be somewhat restricted.

Don’t get me wrong, I love wearing corsets, but they come with unique problems.

Gas – If you are going to play it’s best to skip foods that give you gas. I don’t care if you are on top or the bottom. Your body goes through a lot of different things during play on both sides. Gas happens, and corsets add to the problem. Also, basic hygiene is really something you need to practice. Onion breath as I whisper sweet sinister words in your ear is not a great mix. Body odor is a no no too. I know, people think well of course it is, but think about the fact that you will probably sweat if you are topping, and that someone is going to be touching, caressing, beating, and kissing you if you’re bottoming. A gassy stinky partner with bad breath really spoils the mood.

Playing in Heels – We’ve all seen them. Those incredibly sexy spiked heels that look fabulous with that new leather outfit or PVC dress. They make your legs look great, and are stereotypical Domme wear. I call them ‘come fuck me shoes’ or sit down shoes, and you may be able to walk around in them for a little while, but they suck during play. They mess up my balance; they make my feet hurt, and they make my back hurt. If you are going to wear spiked heels, you should bring a pair of slippers in your bag. Those little slip on ones will have your feet doing the jig of joy, and anyone who has been around will know exactly why you have changed. Put these up there with a corset for after play pains in the ass. When you’re feeling all yummy, a Snuggie and slippers will make you feel much better than trying to put your sexy outfit back on.

Topping is Hard Work – Being the dominant or top is hard work. Yes, the bottom goes through a lot. Possibly a great deal of pain, but they aren’t the only ones affected by the scene. You see those people doing Florentine with the floggers? They worked hard to learn how to do that, and flogging, paddling, caning or any other type of play a top engages in is a real workout. I expend a huge amount of energy when I play. This is both physical and personal energy. When I am doing a canning or electrical play session, my personal energy is transferred to my play partner. I am not just hitting or zapping them, I am choreographing a scene, controlling the flow, using all my muscles to spank, flog, whip, cane, zap, paddle the person on the receiving end. It is more than just beating someone. It is a transference of my aura and part of my soul.

That sounds weird, but I am having a hard time explaining what two people experience and exchange in a well played scene. Remember, you are 100% responsible for the person on the receiving end. Stick to the negotiated plan. Never push past a limit you have not been given permission to pass. When playing, you get a rush from the power exchange and the ‘dance’ of your creation. It is a heady experience, but you must never lose sight of taking care of your bottom. Check in often. How is their circulation? Are their hands cold and possibly numb? Do they need water? Are they coherent? They are your responsibility during the scene, and needed while aftercare is taking place.

  1. Know your implement. Do you really know how to use a flogger? There are areas of the body to avoid for safety.
  2. Keep a small first aid kit in your bag.
  3. Make sure you have water on hand for during the scene.
  4. Carry chocolates or candies for afterwards. Blood sugar can drop during play.
  5. Always check in. If a partner is new to me, I will say “Color” every 5 – 10 minutes. It’s an easy check in to make sure you are reading their body language right. Green= great. Yellow = I’m reaching my limit. Red = Stop. Stop right now. Stop the scene and tend to your partner. Triggers can be tripped (I have an article on triggers in the archives); dizziness can occur due to changes in the body from endorphins, adrenaline, or as said, blood sugar.
  6. When you take your person down from the cross or bench, what then? I always have a blanket for Beauty to lay on if we are at an event. The first time we played I took her down from the cross, and she started to crawl on the yucky hotel ballroom carpet. I had things set to wrap her up and cuddle with her against the wall behind us, but she was out of it, and she’s a crawler. Now I know. At home, I make a nest on the floor with cushions and heated blankets. In public, it’s a smaller nest for us and right there.
  7. You have to do a lot and be in charge of many things when you are on the top end of play. It gives me a rush but is physically and emotionally exhausting. I give of my whole self. Topping is hard work.

Dungeon Etiquette:

  1. Some dungeons have rule about nudity and penetration. All dungeons have other kinds of rules. Know them before you enter. You may have to sign something. Read it. That paper will tell you things like no cell phones. In many dungeons, they will take your cell phone if it is out. Our privacy is too important.
  2. Spectators are responsible for their own safety. If you want to watch me play, that is fine, but I am not interested in your safety. See that dragon tail, flogger, cord for the wand, or cane I am using. Stay out of the way. My focus is my play partner. You are not part of my world.
  3. Shut up! Do not screw with our headspace. Keep a respectful distance and speak quietly.
  4. Do you have a question or concern? Wait until we are done or go talk to a dungeon monitor. Do not interrupt our scene. You have no idea what has been negotiated.
  5. If my scene bothers you, leave. I have seen things that are not in my general comfort zone. I usually watch and learn, at least for a bit, but then I move on if what is going on bothers me. If you are watching and my scene freaks you out, leave. Do not comment. My scene is not about you. Yes, you may question me later, but do it politely.
  6. Tell the dungeon monitor ahead of time if your scene is going to be heavy or appear to be over the edge. They are the ONLY people who may stop a scene.
  7. If you want to play with someone or experience something, ask. This goes for both sides of the scene. If I am at a big event, it is best to ask early, even as early as before the event. My dance card fills up, and even at home during our play parties I don’t want to fill every minute with play, but you should ask. I might say no. The no may be for that night, or it may be a no, I don’t wish to play with you, but you won’t know until you ask.

What you shouldn’t do is:

  1. Beg, badger, or try to get me to change my mind. That is annoying. No means no. You have no idea if I am saving my physical and mental energy or if I have already expended it.
  2. Expect me to play with you without knowing you or having time for negotiation.
  3. Expect me to play with you if we are alone. I only do that with my wife and my play partner Jud.
  4. Pout or act like a child if you are told no.

Two more things:

  1. Don’t touch without asking. That goes for toys and people. You may hug my wife if she is okay with it, but if your hands wander, you will have them smacked. Remember that some of the people in a public dungeon belong to or are considered owned by a dominant. They are not yours to touch.
  2. Don’t disrespect someone else’s kink. Just because you would never dress up like Cruella Deville and have your partner dress like a Dalmatian doesn’t give you the right to criticize. Yes, Beauty and I giggle when we get back to our room or are alone, but never, ever put down someone for their kink.

It’s Not All Erotic – Not everything is erotic, and not all play is sexual. It depends on who I am playing with. Jud and I are completely non sexual. My wife and I always end our scene with orgasms. Play with Beauty gets me wet and sexually excited, but the rush I get from the energy exchange of others I play with is completely different. And the whole “He had me so wet just from his dominant demeanor, or wished to possess me that I came the second he touched me”. Really? No. Beauty gets primed up as I ready the scene, putting on her cuffs and play collar and such, but even when we were having sex like rabid bunnies it took the foreplay of kinky play before she reached her climax. That really is what our play is, foreplay.

Scenes Go Bad – Sooner or later a scene you are orchestrating will go wrong. Not everything flows a scripted. Sometimes this can be hysterical, and it’s okay to laugh. BDSM doesn’t have to be all serious, but scenes can go bad in a dangerous way as well. Be prepared. Have that first aid kit, piece of candy, blanket, safety scissors with the dayglow handle. Things happen.

It Isn’t Living to Please 24/7: – Yes, Beauty sees to my needs. She does as asked, follows the rules, does her chores. That does not mean she waits for my slightest command with her every breath. 24/7 includes real life things, and that submissive you think you want isn’t going to want to be naked and at your feel around the clock. Beauty has a strong desire to serve me, she also gets sick, has mood swings and PMS, has to deal with life’s emotional ups and downs, and sometimes doesn’t want to have to get the laundry, cook dinner, or whatever. She does do it, but she isn’t grateful and overjoyed to serve me every second of the day.

It’s not fun to make all the decisions all of the time. – Sometimes having to make all the decisions sucks. Really it does. Sometimes I just want to scream “Make a fucking choice or decision.” Yes I love to be in charge and yes, my little world get off kilter if things aren’t done to my specifications, but being in command, making every decision, never having peace from everyone looking to you for the answer can be daunting. I’ve said this before, being a dominant doesn’t mean get me a beer and give me a blowjob. That can be a side perk, but with dominance comes responsibility, ALL THE TIME.

Glamourous – The world of BDSM isn’t all glamourous. Dominants are people; that sexy Pro Domme is a person, that sexy attentive submissive is a person. I play in my jammies sometimes. We have our ups and downs. Sometimes I don’t feel kinky at all. Sometimes Beauty and I are just your basic married couple. We watch TV, spend the day being slugs in our pajamas, be anything but the stereotypical BDSM dominant or submissive. I’m not always up to cracking that whip or swinging that paddle, and Beauty doesn’t always want to play. It’s okay, and I don’t make her, just because I feel like it and I can.

Not all of us are damaged, but predators are very real. – Our kink community population most likely has the same ratio of people who had terrible childhoods, were victims of abuse, have depression or other mental illness as any other slice of society. We are not broken people seeking therapy through the giving or receiving of pain. That said, we also have predators among us like any other slice of society. It is very easy to take advantage of a new submissive. Once you hook them and they launch into sub frenzy you can have them eating out of your hand, and in your twisted version of a D/s relationship before they come up for air. Be careful people. There are great big old lines that aren’t fine in the least between a healthy D/s relationship, and an abusive relationship be it kinky or vanilla.

That’s about it. Some of this stuff no one tells you about when you are new. People make mistakes, people cross boundaries they don’t know exist, scenes go bad which can be funny or very bad, kinky people are just people, but we do have rules and expectations for conduct, and we tend to be pickier about manners and protocol. Come on in, the water is fine, but even though there is a lifeguard at some pools, it’s best to learn how to swim, and to stay in the shallow areas before you try out life at the deep end.



My Interview Process

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, commitment, communication with tags , , , , , , , , , on December 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I will get back with you.

Before meeting Arianna I had a much different process , a process where I took steps to insure I was meeting someone who was somewhat compatible.

After the MAsT meeting last week another Dominant and I were standing outside talking about how we felt the lifestyle was changing. Today BDSM is only known for its kink , sex and pain nothing more.

To most in the lifestyle it is just a game , I am not saying there is anything wrong with that but do not show up at a function and tell me I do not know what I am talking about or what I am doing is wrong…..

Then he proceeded to speak about Arianna how lucky I was , and how it was like she fell from the sky right into my lap. Shortly after another Dom came out and all three of us were talking and the Dom who had just walked out also started talking about how much disrespect was going on within our lifestyle.

One of his slaves had attended a function and was approached by another Dom in the leather community and she was instructed she would come to his home and cook a dinner for him and his guess on a certain date. What makes things sad is he knew she was owned but had no respect for her owner.  She did not respond to the other Dom which made him upset .

Just the lack of respect and he had zero protocols and he sits on a board. He is suppose to be a leader, someone who gives advice, and speaks at public engagements..  To make matters worse he knows she is owned.

Okay my process , before we moved into anything that had to do with BDSM I wanted and needed to know you. I carried a note book with me with a list of questions and this was something we both took part in.

I love eye contact , when you first meet someone the eyes tell a story , just as a hug or kiss. The eyes show the truth and they show a lie and they also show hesitation, or even if you are unsure , so eye contact was very important to me.

Taking out my little handy note book , I would write . Who are you ? I would then pass the note book to you and you would answer the question , putting it on paper that is…..

The second question . Why are you here ?  What makes you think you are a slave ? What medical problems do you have and what medications are you on ?

Have you been in an M’s relationship before? What are you looking for in a M’s relationship ? What is your temperament like? Do you drink or do any kind of drugs ? Have you ever been arrested and if yes what for ? Then on to foods and music , vacations , what you do in your free time.

Now your thinking that sounds really stupid , in fact it is crazy or it is to much work right ?

When you put something on paper and your looking at what your writing it makes you think, and many times putting it on paper is much easier than speaking and answering questions.

I am also getting to know you as a person. Now if you noticed I did not mention anything about BDSM , or I did not ask about your cock sucking skills or if you swallow or not. Do you take it up the ass ?. If you did answer no to those two questions if I did ask the conversation would be over. FYI.

I have not met any Dominants in the past who uses the same plan I had in place but it works. It really lets the Dominant get to know a future partner.

At the end of dinner I would thank them for coming , and I would say. Ill get back with you.

I then went home and I read everything so I could analyzed what was shared and maybe see if we would click. If I saw something there I would call and set up another date. If not I would call and tell them thank you but I do not believe we are a fit.

It depends on what you want out of a relationship….



My 1000th Post

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, anger, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control with tags , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is hard to believe I have hit 1000 post, time sure does fly by.

I started my blog The Kinky World Of Vile with one intent.
I wanted to give a guide to those who are entering the awesome world of BDSM.

Much of my blog is about me, my past , present and a little about where I think my future will take me.

The biggest thing I hit on though is safety. What you should be looking out for when your looking for a new partner, a Dominant, a Master, or a Daddy Dom. Because in the past 20 yrs or so I have filled different roles in the lifestyle.

Safety is huge today, and if you do not know anything about the lifestyle, it can be a very hard road.
Unfortunately most of what we learn in life is by making mistakes , mistakes can be good if you learn from them.

In the past I have taken advantage of women, in the past I have used women, just so I could get what I wanted.

I have had many successful relationships that ended because it was just time to move on, and I have been in relationships that ended in failure, and the failure was my own doing, my fault.
I have been in relationships that were just convenient for that time. It is good sometimes to have a piece of ass around when you want it, or you would think so, but it is not always what it seems.

I have shared my first real experience with a Slave. How I learned so much from her, and now as I look back, what we did she craved but in my eyes it was just abuse.
Sherri called me Master but I was so far from being a Dominant it was not funny , and I was never a Master, nor was I in control.
I was someone who inflicted pain so someone could get off. There were no rules, no protocols, nothing.
The biggest part of the relationship was about humiliation. Some would think it was fun, but it really became a burden because I had to out do what I had done with new sessions.

What I did learn though was impact play. I learned where it was safe to hit and not safe to hit. Believe it or not you can really hurt someone if you do not know what you are doing.

As I look back if I had met her today I would not of entered such a relationship. Number one that is not me, and two I know now what I did was abuse, because of her mental state.

I do however believe just because someone is bipolar does not mean they cannot enter a D’s or M’s relationship. Being with someone who truly cares about you and your well being makes a real difference.

I have posted material about how someone knew could meet a new Dominant and the questions to ask. I have mentioned the warning signs, and how to tell if someone is real or not.
It is so easy to avoid a huge disaster , and move on until you find the right one.

While the majority of my relationships have been long term, the reason they did not last as in the one, was because I settled for something less.
I settled for the then, the now instead of what I wanted and needed

You cannot change who you are, I have tried, I left the lifestyle in search of something that was not there, and even being unhappy I remained loyal, until the day I left, because I made a commitment.
Many believe they are submissive but once they enter a relationship they come to terms that they are not. Most Dominants will try to stick it out, but will soon walk away.

This is something the submissive cannot understand but the Dominant is doing the right thing. It is not fair to her and it is not fair to him..

Many women who are married to a vanilla male and she wakes up one morning with a burning desire to serve, cannot expect her partner to step in and turn his life around or his beliefs.

Many see D’s or M’s as abuse and it is a mental picture that will never go away
The first word out of the submissive’s mouth is more control, and this is all the male hears and he wants no part of that.
He married you to take care of the home, the bills, the cooking the laundry, getting the car serviced.

So you either pack up and leave, or you suck it up like your suppose to.

I have talked about how I truly believe a woman can find herself at a later age, meaning something triggers an emotion, something triggers the need to serve.

I also believe this is less likely to happen with a Male Dominant.
A male Dominant is born, he is Dominant by nature. I knew in my early teens I was different. I had different needs when it came to sex.
It was not even really about sex it was about control, and it took me years to perfect what I have today.

When I am talking I am giving a males side of things not just mine. I am telling you how we think, what makes us tick.

So you need to take a few steps to insure you are getting exactly what you need in a relationship.

Okay so if a Dom you are first meeting gets upset because you are asking to many questions, he does not have your best interest in mind.

Your going to be the one laying on your back, your going to be the one on your knees, so you should have expectations, you should have questions and concerns.
Are your limits going to be respected ? Are you going to be number one in his life?

One of the first questions most ask is are you Bi ? Have you ever been with another woman ? Do you have fantasy’s about it?
If you say no then here comes the disapproval , here comes the I am the dominant you do as I say.

I myself love seeing two women together, there is nothing more hotter, than watching a woman go down on another woman.

Here is the thing Arianna is no Bi although she has been with a few women.

I respect her and I respect her enough to never force her to do something her heart is not into.
Another question , why would I take a chance and fuck up what I have now? Why would I want to possibly hurt Arianna? Hurting her mentally.
Arianna comes first and she always will, on another note I am living the dream because as it is I get anything I want, and I do mean anything.
So I would never jeopardize what I have , in the end I could lose everything.

So my 1000th post or blog what ever you call it. While I do not claim to know everything, nor do I believe my way is the only way, I would hope you can take bits and pieces and put something together.

I have talked about Training. Training does not really take place in a D’s relationship and even less in a Daddy Dom relationship.
Although at one time I filled those shoes, it was not who I was or wanted to be, I let my emotions get the best of me.
Even today When at a Munch or a MAsT meeting I have trouble relating to other Dominants and more so the Daddy Doms, because it seems there is no type of structure or protocols.
It is not to say all relationships are that way, but I suppose that is why I do not have that many friends.

Twenty plus years in the lifestyle and their is one Dominant I call a true friend, and sometimes he even makes me shake my head but we can relate to each other.

I currently have others I am trying to get close to, but I am having a hard time. Even as friends you have to have something in common.

I have spoken about how important it is to become friends before moving into a D’s relationship. Although communication is a very valuable asset, compatibility comes into play and compatibility in my eyes could be a serious deal breaker.
You want a Dominant who wants to get to know you as a person first, instead of someone who just wants their cock sucked.

A well structured home is a stable home. A Dominant with not anger issues is a stable home. Consistency equals a stable home, communication open communication equals a stable home.

The same goes for the male Dominant as well, many times the Dominant will settle for less, thinking he will be able to change someone. Many times this will not work out, and it becomes more of a struggle and causing stress and arguing.

The idea is not to change someone  but to improve on what is there , while it is true we train to fit our needs, changing someone to someone they are not will never work.

I think this goes to men who are vanilla as well, settling for less and they end up looking outside the home to be happy. It is not fair to your partner because you made the mistake. It is not fair to your partner to mislead them.

Then when your caught and you will get caught you put the blame on them, but that is just to make you feel good…

Think about it, if your seeing a married Dominant who is cheating, and he is telling you how bad his wife is behind her back, think about what he is telling his friends about you behind your back.

If you stop and think about it, if his life was really so fucking bad he would of been long gone. He would of already been divorced prior to meeting you. Then you have to look deeper, if he is cheating on her, he will cheat on you, if you think other wise you need to do some real soul searching.

Training a slave, I have talked about the importance of being not only consistent during training but after as well. Consistency means everything.

Prior to training a plan should be put together a short term plan as well as a long term plan. It is very important you know the slave, it is very important you know the needs of the slave.

Prior to training Arianna I spent about a week putting a plan together that I would would work. I also looked at what aspects of the training I would have any type of resistance , and how I would handle it.

Once I started I never said okay get ready get set go. I slowly introduced things into her life. One of the first things I did was validate who I was not what I was but who. So I introduced her to very close friends in the lifestyle I had known for 15 plus years and some beyond 20 years. I had nothing to prove, I wanted to make her feel more comfortable knowing I had been truthful with her, I was in fact who I said I was.

The initial training was roughly 90 days, and it was 90 days of no real freedom, very little speech, and a lot of listening and paying attention. We attended local events, and I even invited another Master and Slave over and Arianna was the host.

The one thing that threw me off was the lack of resistance, Arianna just went with the flow. The truth is that was something I had not counted on, and although I was somewhat confused I just went ahead as planned.

To date I have never left a Mark on Arianna, and I have never raised my voice to her. To date we have never had an argument. It is not because she is not allowed to voice her opinion, it is because we have the right connection.

A Dominant who is abusive has no place in the lifestyle, a Dominant with a temper has no place in the lifestyle. A Dominant with a drinking problem has no place in the lifestyle. A Dominant with drug addiction has no place in the lifestyle.

My way may not be your way, as a matter of fact I am almost sure its not, but what I am giving you is the foundation, something you can build on.

In my world there is such a thing as perfection and she wakes every morning. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. At times I just set back and look and I think to myself , yea I did that.

Vile radio is coming That I promise, things have just been so busy, but it is something we are working on, it will be a lot of fun, and yet another get away for me…

1000 post post and another 1000 coming, much love to all the awesome people who follow my blog, and a huge thanks to those who stop by.


You know your always free to comment , and you do not have to agree with me, your also welcome to ask questions, but just make sure you want the truth.