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Do You Know What Training Really Is ?

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, Baby Girl, bdsm, being used, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, cunt, Daddy Dom, Deception, Depressed, Depression, Dominance Through Intimidation, Giving Head, Humiliation, infidelity, married, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, poly, Polyamory, Rules, Safe and Sane, selfish, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 25, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Lets take cock sucking out of the picture, while we are at it lets take a rule out a lot of you have, or have had.
Your not allowed to cum for a month, or maybe even two months

The second I spoke about is pure ego, and nothing more. The you are not allowed to touch your pussy or cum without my permission was something I did when I was in my twenties. If I had come across anyone who had been in the lifestyle for anytime when I said those words I was laughed at. They knew then I was not a experienced Dom.

Before you begin your Training there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.
1. Is this lifestyle really for me? You know your own feelings, but much research must be done, before being able to correctly answer.
2. Why do I need to be trained?
3. What do I hope to get out of being trained by a Dominant ?
4. Just how far do I want to go ?
5. What are some of my limits ? You probably have an idea, but you also may need to explore.
6. What Type of Dominant or Master should I be looking for ?
Remember we are all different , we all have different values, and methods. Some are very strict, while some are not. Some have rules and protocols while some do not. Some want to see their property excel in life, while others will still care about you but you are more of a physical object.

These are just a few of the questions you need to ask yourself before you begin your journey. Know what you need is very important. Never let anyone tell you what you need, or how they are going to change you.

Meeting your new Dominant and taking an assessment should be done while you are getting to know each other. This covers many areas.
Your health should be talked about in depth, medications, phobias as well. Your work should be discussed, as well as family and friends.

Here is a list of health questions I used.
Do you have any dietary restrictions?
Are you allergic to anything? (Scene materials as well as common allergies)
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? Dental bridges or hearing aids?
Do have any injuries that can keep you from service or play type training? (Neck, back, knee injuries)
Do you have any ongoing illnesses or chronic problems? What type of medications or treatments do you take for these?
Make a list of all the vitamins, herbal or nutritional supplements your take?
When was your last blood test and physical? Will you be willing to take a blood test or physical?
Do you use recreational drugs (including alcohol or tobacco)? What? How Often?
Do you have any addictions or are you struggling with an addiction?
Are you recovering from an addiction? Are you clean and/or sober? How long?
Have you suffered from abuse as a child? As an adult? (Physical, verbal, psychological, sexual, spiritual)
If so, are there any triggers that can cause you trauma now?
Do you abuse others, or have abused others, in the past? How have you addressed these problems?
Have you ever had any type of sexually transmitted disease? How was it, or is it, being treated?

All of these questions are very important, this is one of the ways besides communication you get to know someone. This will also prevent someone from getting hurt.

While there may not be a cure for many mental illnesses, I do believe that under the right house, and the proper structure , most can be kept under control, and managed.

Clarification. You will need clarification on the entire process. You will want to know what will be expected of you.

If you work or have children there will be limitations that will have to be put into place.

Just so you know this is not a Wham Bam Thank You Process. These discussions is something that should take place over time. This is a courtship, this is the getting to know each other time.
Go out to eat, catch a movie, long walks. The most important thing is to take your time. Communication is the most important thing in your relationship, but and there is a but, compatibility plays a major role.

Call me Sir, call me Master, call me Daddy, never fall for those demands. Each title no matter what should be earned and not demanded.

The RULE thing is never really clear, a lot of Dominants want to start out with rules before even entering a relationship.
Once your relationship gets to that point, when a Rule is giving out, there should be a clear explanation on why that rule is being put into place.

One thing I do and did, when I explained something to Arianna, I explained it in such a way there were no questions. Everything must be very clear.

It is also impossible to be told to memorize 30 or 40 rules. If the Dominant expects you to remember each and everyone , then he should be able to repeat them all.

We all have training ideas, but what works for one will not work for another.
The one thing you have to remember you are being trained to fit someone’s needs, it is you that will have to adapt to your new world, not the Dom.

In many cases you may need to be trained, looking for that structure in your life, or you may be perfectly fine, and your just entering a D’s or M’s relationship, at any rate you are still going to adapt to someone else’s world. Your life is going to really go through changes.

Some of the things that are important to us, is our family, we also need friends, you need to be able to go out, we all need down time.
During your negotiation part you need to make sure you will still be allowed to do the above.

If the Dominant you are meeting tells you he is married, make sure the spouse is okay with what he is doing. This is where it gets tricky because you cannot just take his word, after all if his wife says its okay for him to see other people, then it should be okay for you to talk to her.

He will come off well my wife is a bitch, she does not understand me, she does not fulfill my needs, she is always nagging.
Well!!! If things were really all that bad he would not be there.
I am staying because of the children. Yea that is a lame excuse.
He is cheating because she will not suck cock or take it up the ass but you will.
Remember you are now number two , and you will always be number two.
No Birthdays, no Holidays, no vacations, you are just a secret.

Training should start almost immediately once the two have agreed to enter a D’s or M’s relationship. The most effective way to train is while you are living together.
If your Dominant is a once a month warrior then you are not really going to get the whole picture.
This also happens when you see someone who is married, your in it for the benefits, and he is in it for the ass, and nothing more.

You the Submissive or Slave should have a good idea when it comes to what your looking for, and what your needs are. This is something you need to cover as well.
When you meet a new Dominant, and you are to intimidated or scared to talk openly about your needs then he is the wrong Dom for you.
A Dominant should make you feel at ease, relaxed. He should be easy to speak to, and not make any demands.
If you cannot speak freely and express your needs, how can you fully submit to him?

The first meeting all eyes should be on you. You should be doing all the talking, and the Dominant should have his total attention on you. If your shy he will keep the conversation flowing with questions
During this time he is taking in all the information. This is the time he is putting a training program together in his head.

Your question should be what does your training consist of? What do you think I will get out of your training ?

What are your protocols ? Are your protocols just private or are they public as well?

One thing I did, is I would request a journal be started something I could read everyday or week. I did not have to do that with Arianna because she had ten years worth of journals, so I really got a deep look inside her life.

There are rules and then there is sex. The two should never be mixed. Rules are meant to provide structure, and guidance.

A rule telling you to send a video on your anal training does not benefit you at all. You being told as a rule to send nude pics, does not benefit you at all.
If these are the things he is interested in, then he does not have your best interest in mind.

Being trained is real, and you need to be sure you are in the hands of someone who really cares about you. Someone who has open communication.
Our lifestyle is you are a True D’s or M’s is a mind thing. It is all about the Dominant getting inside your head, and having the ability to stay there, keeping you in that submissive frame of mind.

The first 90 days Arianna had almost zero freedom. She was allowed to call and visit family, she has a dear friend she was allowed to see, and of course work.
Other than the things above she spent 90 days learning Viles way.
Rules a few at a time, protocols, again Viles way, learning in service. Learning how to be a host in an M’s home.

The first thing I did, was introduce her to friends I had within the community.
Why did I do this? She has been in two Bad D’s relationships prior to me.
I told her I had been in the lifestyle for more than 20 years. So not that I had anything to prove, I introduced her to very close friends who had known me , here in the local community. This was a way to validate myself. I am who I said I was.

Any Dominant who tells you he has been in the lifestyle for 20 years knows people in the lifestyle, and he should be more than willing to introduce you to his friends.
99% of the time he will be active in the local community, if he is not then something happened.
It does not take much for a Dominant to get a bad name, and once your shunned , there is really not much he can do as far as meeting new subs or slaves, unless it is Via Collarme or something.
That should be a bad sign if he tells you he has no friends in the local community.
I know and I know others who need that interaction. We need to be able to talk to our friends, someone we can relate to.

There are warning signs to look for, and many times you see them but you over look them because you think he could be the one.
Well! he is nit the one, because there are thousands of ones out there, and if you settle for less than what you need, your relationship will be short lived.

Many Dominants who have no real life experience will try to isolate you, because they are still in the insecure mode. The married Dominant will even more isolate you, because you are his fuck toy on the side.
These are also warning signs you need to look out for, keeping you isolated is where the abuse begins, and once it starts you are the only one who can stop it.

You are a submissive you have the right to question, more so you have the right to say no.

Remember everything is a negotiation , this is when you talk about your needs, what you expect out of the relationship, as well as your limits.
You want everything out on the table, so there are no surprises.

Now the most important issues. What are you going to get out of the relationship? If you are not living together , how much time will be devoted to you?
Is the relationship going to be one on one or he is Poly? That is a very important question, if you do not ask he may bring it up at a later date.

If you are asked a direct question then give a direct answer, and do not tell something someone wants to hear, be honest.
If you ask a direct question you expect a direct answer.

If your going to submit, you cannot submit on your terms, if you happen to find a Dom who will allow you to do this , then what kind of Dominant is he ?

Also it is not that you will not have any say , but your whole thought process will be different, you are now in the follow position. The Dominant will lead you will follow.

When you first meet asking the proper questions, and giving honest answers would prevent so much drama and heartache. Many for what ever reason are to intimidated to speak up. If the Dominant has caused this, then you need to step away before even meeting him, so there is no connection.

You cannot gain a connection over the internet alone, well it can be done if both are honest. The truth is we can be who ever we want to be, and make you believe most anything without even meeting.

Married Dominants, they do not want a relationship with you. You will never be able to experience what the D’s lifestyle is truly like. You will never get that one on one attention you need, he will never be available when you need him, but he has agreed to take care of you, he has agreed to be there for you. The truth is that will never happen.
He will never leave his wife, his home, his cars, nor his children, nor is he going to part with his money.
Why would he leave he has the best of both worlds? He has everything at home, and someone who will suck his cock on the side. The truth hurts huh?

In the lifestyle training is for the betterment of the submissive or slave.
You have to decide if you want to be part of a growing relationship, or just a piece of ass on the side that no one knows about. The dirty little secret you cannot even talk about, because your married Dom is afraid you will blow his cover.
Sitting at home on your couch, crying because you cannot get a reply to a text is no way to live.
He cannot text because he is having a cookout with his wife and kids.
The biggest myth is you are the only one he is seeing on the side, if you believe this then you are dumber than your Dom thinks you are already, and yes he thinks your Dumb, he thinks you can do no better, and he thinks you are wrapped around his fingers, and when you leave after a year or so he will find someone to take your place. You are not an asset and never will be.
He will keep you until you become either to needy, or a burden to him. Keep your cock sucker shut and things will go as he had planned

This is why it is very important when a Dominant says he wants to train you, you need to get clarification on what he means.

You have the right to explain your needs, and you need to be sure they are going to be met, before you enter the relationship, because once his lies start they are never ending.

Training is meant to be one on one with no interventions. You should be the Dominants main focus during this time.
Telling you that you are not allowed to cum is not training , and I will tell any Dom or Master face to face he is full of fucking shit.

You calling him Sir, Daddy, or Master, and in his mind he is calling you an idiot.

Does anyone know the Definition of the word CUNT?
Cant understand normal thinking.

Men fall under this category as well it is not only women, because I meet stupid everyday, and I meet a lot of CUNTS

If you stay focused you will go far, if you stick to your plan you will go far. If you stick to your goals in life you will go far. If you make sure your needs are met you will go far.

The only way you can be trained is through someone being consistent, consistency is the KEY.

focused

Yours Truly
Vile

What I Need, In A Slave, A Partner And BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, Collar, Collared Slave, Dominant, Dominants, Master, Master And Slave, rimming, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Most of you will probably not believe me, but I am really low maintenance. It has just been recently being with Arianna that I had even owned or thought about buying a pair of dress shoes.

My New Balance would last for a good 5 or 6 years, I had Jeans that were 10 and 12 years old, although my Shirts, dress and casual looked nice I am sure Donny Osmond wanted them back.

Jeans are not jeans until they are full of comfortable holes, the fading and the strings barely holding a section together.

I never complain about food as a young man in elementary school a good dinner did not happen often. Clothes were a luxury not a need. I remember while in the 6th grade one year I wore the same pair of pants to school everyday.

You would think it would not be noticeable but in my 6th grade class there were only 15 of us, and that was the whole 6th and they were my 8th grade graduation class as well.

During that year we lived in an old house with no power, we only had a fireplace to keep the house warm during the winter.

Both of my parents were alcoholics and addicted to prescription drugs, and both were in and out of rehabs on a regular basis. 

At the age of 15 I went to work at a local chicken processing plant working 2nd shit, I believe then I was paid 2.13 an hr. So my pay for 40 hours was about 85 dollar a week less taxes. After I turned 16 I went to work at a cotton mill making 6.00 an hr my pay jumped to 240 a week less taxes.  Those were union wages I might add. At the age of 16 that was good money. I think my pay when I joined the army was like 368.00 a month.

During this time I started working, this is when I started revamping who I was. I started purchasing nice clothes, shoes, and going out to eat most of the time, I always had money on me.

This is also when Vile began to only worry about Vile, this is when I started building what I call my bubble. Even then I let very few in.

It was somewhat earlier I had run across these little truck stop novels, I would lay in bed at night and read them. They were all about rough sex, incest, then it was really taboo to me, but as I read and I read, I could feel something inside being released. 

My confidence level had shot through the roof, I became popular in school and with the girls until the incident with Beverly, that was a post I did about our school whore. It was after that girls feared me, and I was left with what we called the sluts.

At the age of 17 My parents signed papers for me to Join the Us Army, I had to get the fuck out, because I was not going to spend my life working in a cotton mill which is closed today, or a nasty ass chicken plant.

I had to find me and I knew I wanted better. I had never been in any real trouble, and I have never been in jail.

I learned at a young age to appreciate the little things in life no matter how small they were or the meaning they had.

If you give me a used shirt and it fits I will wear it. It is the simple things in life I truly appreciate.

I can spend 2.49 on a tropical plant for my Awesome aquarium and I am like a kid in Toys R us.

Although we do have a couple of flat screen Tv’s that is not a need, I was just as happy with the old bulky TV .

Cars I really do not care what I drive as long as Arianna has something nice to drive, and of course with air. The man should always make sure his partner has something nice to drive. We are fortunate to have two new cars, but both of our car payments are less than what most pay for one car. Neither has power seats, the Fiat has power windows, but the jeep patriot has neither Arianna prefers the jeep over the Fiat. Before she was driving the Fiat back and forth to work, but I was concerned for her safety so I switched with her.

Keeping your life simple enables you to avoid many problems and drama, not to mention living beyond your means.  All of these things should be considered when forming what I call the bubble.

 You know while selling cars I had couples come in who made 300K a year and could not afford to put 1500 dollars down, they were that strapped. That my friend is no way to live.

Taking away from your family. Today family is everything, in today’s times one needs to work but you have to enjoy life as well. Over the years we have drifted apart, and we as family’s are no longer as close, mostly due to greed.

It took me sometime to come to a conclusion about what I really needed in a relationship, not what I wanted but needed.

If you settle for less than what you need , the relationship will fail it will not work no matter what you do. So you set your mind and you play by your own rules, those who choose to enter a relationship with you must play by your rules as well.

I needed a Slave and Not a Submissive, I had been in several short term relationships with those who were only submissive, and the relationships only lasted about 3 to 4 months.

I wanted a partner, a best friend, but also someone who needed to give up full control. Someone who knew who and what they were.

Someone who needed rules, someone who needed protocols , someone who needed direction. Someone who was not only loyal but needed to be loyal.

I refused to settle for less, and I dated and I dated , and I dated, and fuck I dated my ass off. Then one day I said fuck it I am done, I am moving out of country. At that point and time it was not about a steady relationship, it was about me. I already had work lined up in the Philippines, then I was introduced to Arianna. We all know the story from there.

You know I speak about how Arianna is a no limit Slave, let me clarify that for a minute. Living as a no limit slave has different meanings within each relationship.

To me no limits pertains to our sexual side, be it ATM Ass To Mouth, anal sex when I want no questions asked, face fucking, I get anything I want when I want, right down to being rimmed.

Now if you can imagine some of the other Taboo stuff, well I could have that as well. As Dominants and owners of property we have to look out for the well being of ours, mentally and physically.

In my mind I can have anything I want, when I want, and how I want without question.

You stand by what you need, and you stay with it. Never second guess yourself, because when you do you will fail. Do not be afraid to speak your mind. You are no ones property until you have earned their collar. Until then you can tell someone to go get fucked.

 collar62

I can talk shit because that collar has never been off. If some of you Dominants would stop being stupid you could have the same thing…. A partner who wants to serve.

vile

Moving Deeper Into Submission

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Arianna, ass to mouth, bdsm, Face Fucking, Private Protocol, Protocol, Rough Sex, Rules, sex, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , on June 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna and I were in Bed last night talking as we do every night, but when the conversation turns deep, Arianna is better and putting things in writing. So last night she started what will turn out to be a long need.

As of now Arianna cannot make a move without asking permission, this includes , eating, bathing, spending money, shower, and even dressing.

So just for many of you this is a new area to me. I suppose the way to go from this day forward would be to take the relationship back to the first day of training. Limiting her free space once again. Such as furniture , sitting on the floor at dinner time.

Arianna enjoys chain she had mentioned something this am about having different attachment points throughout the house. Each chain consisting of about 5ft of chain, our kitchen is pretty big so we would have to go about 20ft or so. We turned our Florida room into our dinning area. The Florida room was a room we never used anyway, so it was in a way wasted space, now it is used almost daily.

I believe it was in one of my first blogs I made the Statement BDSM is a drug, and under the right hands it becomes a need, and this need will grow, and as it grows you will crave, you will have the need to fully submit, and if your with the right Dominant, it could be never ending. Now you have the ability to say no, but that is not what you really want, you want to fully submit, you want to give your all. Remember now it is a need not a want.

You have to use your property and use on a regular basis, this is the agreement both of you have. You the Dominant are there to teach and guide, to provide security, to be there on all levels of emotions, to be there for moral support. To be there when the submissive needs to communicate, and in turn you get to use your property, when and how you want.

Sometimes we can become to soft, and we go into this mode of thinking and we do not even realize it until it is to late. Remember me talking about the losing control? This is why it is important to remain who you are. I know at times we feel bad about the way we treat ours, or at least I do, but that is something I cannot show.

I remember one night in the florida room before the dinning room, I had Arianna lay on her back, she was blindfolded, and I had her spread. Arianna has these huge pussy lips, I call them butterfly lips, and as she lay there spread for the world to see and her lips folding open, I could feel my cock getting hard, as I am looking at her, I could clearly see she was getting wet.  So without saying a word I crawled down got on top I ran my cock up and down her her getting my cock wet and I shoved it it, I was fucking her so hard I was trying to break her back. I got off stood and I reached down and grabbed her by her hair, and pulled her up shoving my cock in her mouth. She knows at the point to keep her hands down, as I am pumping her face, I am telling her I own her.  I could feel her gagging and I hear the noises like dry heaves coming from her belly, I could feel the muscles in her throat gripping my cock. I pulled out and grabbed her by her hair pulled her into the kitchen bent her over the trash can and took her from behind. I then pulled out and slid my cock right into her ass, not a word came out of Arianna. I pumped and pumper, then pulling out I put her on her knees and shoved my cock back in her mouth, after I came. I took her by the hand walked her to the bathroom put her in the shower I told her to get on her knees at which time I pissed on her hair reminding her that I owned her. I then turned on the cold water and walked away. She was a little devastated for a couple of days, she had a hard time taking everything in, everything that had happened that night. Then the other night when laying in bed talking about bringing more of her slave out, she made the comment she missed that night, minus the shower.  This is what I mean by using.

So I will have different attachment points through out the house, the bedroom, the office, the bathroom from the bedroom, the living room, kitchen and finely the dinning room. all with a lock and key. She will lose all furniture privileges

I did start something new about 2 weeks ago, and that was using the words Thank You. Thank you is for everything, sitting eating, being fucked, sucking cock everything. This helps the slave to think even deeper. I did expect her to forget a little but Thank you just came natural.

Remember what you are doing is programming someone to fit your needs, it is them who has to adapt to your ways, it is them to is stepping into your world, and if you keep your head straight the slave will follow. .

Your training never stops, you are learning everyday on ways to expand your Mastery , you are learning everyday how to gain more submission, but with all of this comes a great deal of responsibility, and if you as a Master fails, your slave will fail as well, and like you will be lost. Only the damage is already done and you cannot fix it.

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Vile