Archive for Anger Issues

My 1000th Post

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, anger, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control with tags , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is hard to believe I have hit 1000 post, time sure does fly by.

I started my blog The Kinky World Of Vile with one intent.
I wanted to give a guide to those who are entering the awesome world of BDSM.

Much of my blog is about me, my past , present and a little about where I think my future will take me.

The biggest thing I hit on though is safety. What you should be looking out for when your looking for a new partner, a Dominant, a Master, or a Daddy Dom. Because in the past 20 yrs or so I have filled different roles in the lifestyle.

Safety is huge today, and if you do not know anything about the lifestyle, it can be a very hard road.
Unfortunately most of what we learn in life is by making mistakes , mistakes can be good if you learn from them.

In the past I have taken advantage of women, in the past I have used women, just so I could get what I wanted.

I have had many successful relationships that ended because it was just time to move on, and I have been in relationships that ended in failure, and the failure was my own doing, my fault.
I have been in relationships that were just convenient for that time. It is good sometimes to have a piece of ass around when you want it, or you would think so, but it is not always what it seems.

I have shared my first real experience with a Slave. How I learned so much from her, and now as I look back, what we did she craved but in my eyes it was just abuse.
Sherri called me Master but I was so far from being a Dominant it was not funny , and I was never a Master, nor was I in control.
I was someone who inflicted pain so someone could get off. There were no rules, no protocols, nothing.
The biggest part of the relationship was about humiliation. Some would think it was fun, but it really became a burden because I had to out do what I had done with new sessions.

What I did learn though was impact play. I learned where it was safe to hit and not safe to hit. Believe it or not you can really hurt someone if you do not know what you are doing.

As I look back if I had met her today I would not of entered such a relationship. Number one that is not me, and two I know now what I did was abuse, because of her mental state.

I do however believe just because someone is bipolar does not mean they cannot enter a D’s or M’s relationship. Being with someone who truly cares about you and your well being makes a real difference.

I have posted material about how someone knew could meet a new Dominant and the questions to ask. I have mentioned the warning signs, and how to tell if someone is real or not.
It is so easy to avoid a huge disaster , and move on until you find the right one.

While the majority of my relationships have been long term, the reason they did not last as in the one, was because I settled for something less.
I settled for the then, the now instead of what I wanted and needed

You cannot change who you are, I have tried, I left the lifestyle in search of something that was not there, and even being unhappy I remained loyal, until the day I left, because I made a commitment.
Many believe they are submissive but once they enter a relationship they come to terms that they are not. Most Dominants will try to stick it out, but will soon walk away.

This is something the submissive cannot understand but the Dominant is doing the right thing. It is not fair to her and it is not fair to him..

Many women who are married to a vanilla male and she wakes up one morning with a burning desire to serve, cannot expect her partner to step in and turn his life around or his beliefs.

Many see D’s or M’s as abuse and it is a mental picture that will never go away
The first word out of the submissive’s mouth is more control, and this is all the male hears and he wants no part of that.
He married you to take care of the home, the bills, the cooking the laundry, getting the car serviced.

So you either pack up and leave, or you suck it up like your suppose to.

I have talked about how I truly believe a woman can find herself at a later age, meaning something triggers an emotion, something triggers the need to serve.

I also believe this is less likely to happen with a Male Dominant.
A male Dominant is born, he is Dominant by nature. I knew in my early teens I was different. I had different needs when it came to sex.
It was not even really about sex it was about control, and it took me years to perfect what I have today.

When I am talking I am giving a males side of things not just mine. I am telling you how we think, what makes us tick.

So you need to take a few steps to insure you are getting exactly what you need in a relationship.

Okay so if a Dom you are first meeting gets upset because you are asking to many questions, he does not have your best interest in mind.

Your going to be the one laying on your back, your going to be the one on your knees, so you should have expectations, you should have questions and concerns.
Are your limits going to be respected ? Are you going to be number one in his life?

One of the first questions most ask is are you Bi ? Have you ever been with another woman ? Do you have fantasy’s about it?
If you say no then here comes the disapproval , here comes the I am the dominant you do as I say.

I myself love seeing two women together, there is nothing more hotter, than watching a woman go down on another woman.

Here is the thing Arianna is no Bi although she has been with a few women.

I respect her and I respect her enough to never force her to do something her heart is not into.
Another question , why would I take a chance and fuck up what I have now? Why would I want to possibly hurt Arianna? Hurting her mentally.
Arianna comes first and she always will, on another note I am living the dream because as it is I get anything I want, and I do mean anything.
So I would never jeopardize what I have , in the end I could lose everything.

So my 1000th post or blog what ever you call it. While I do not claim to know everything, nor do I believe my way is the only way, I would hope you can take bits and pieces and put something together.

I have talked about Training. Training does not really take place in a D’s relationship and even less in a Daddy Dom relationship.
Although at one time I filled those shoes, it was not who I was or wanted to be, I let my emotions get the best of me.
Even today When at a Munch or a MAsT meeting I have trouble relating to other Dominants and more so the Daddy Doms, because it seems there is no type of structure or protocols.
It is not to say all relationships are that way, but I suppose that is why I do not have that many friends.

Twenty plus years in the lifestyle and their is one Dominant I call a true friend, and sometimes he even makes me shake my head but we can relate to each other.

I currently have others I am trying to get close to, but I am having a hard time. Even as friends you have to have something in common.

I have spoken about how important it is to become friends before moving into a D’s relationship. Although communication is a very valuable asset, compatibility comes into play and compatibility in my eyes could be a serious deal breaker.
You want a Dominant who wants to get to know you as a person first, instead of someone who just wants their cock sucked.

A well structured home is a stable home. A Dominant with not anger issues is a stable home. Consistency equals a stable home, communication open communication equals a stable home.

The same goes for the male Dominant as well, many times the Dominant will settle for less, thinking he will be able to change someone. Many times this will not work out, and it becomes more of a struggle and causing stress and arguing.

The idea is not to change someone  but to improve on what is there , while it is true we train to fit our needs, changing someone to someone they are not will never work.

I think this goes to men who are vanilla as well, settling for less and they end up looking outside the home to be happy. It is not fair to your partner because you made the mistake. It is not fair to your partner to mislead them.

Then when your caught and you will get caught you put the blame on them, but that is just to make you feel good…

Think about it, if your seeing a married Dominant who is cheating, and he is telling you how bad his wife is behind her back, think about what he is telling his friends about you behind your back.

If you stop and think about it, if his life was really so fucking bad he would of been long gone. He would of already been divorced prior to meeting you. Then you have to look deeper, if he is cheating on her, he will cheat on you, if you think other wise you need to do some real soul searching.

Training a slave, I have talked about the importance of being not only consistent during training but after as well. Consistency means everything.

Prior to training a plan should be put together a short term plan as well as a long term plan. It is very important you know the slave, it is very important you know the needs of the slave.

Prior to training Arianna I spent about a week putting a plan together that I would would work. I also looked at what aspects of the training I would have any type of resistance , and how I would handle it.

Once I started I never said okay get ready get set go. I slowly introduced things into her life. One of the first things I did was validate who I was not what I was but who. So I introduced her to very close friends in the lifestyle I had known for 15 plus years and some beyond 20 years. I had nothing to prove, I wanted to make her feel more comfortable knowing I had been truthful with her, I was in fact who I said I was.

The initial training was roughly 90 days, and it was 90 days of no real freedom, very little speech, and a lot of listening and paying attention. We attended local events, and I even invited another Master and Slave over and Arianna was the host.

The one thing that threw me off was the lack of resistance, Arianna just went with the flow. The truth is that was something I had not counted on, and although I was somewhat confused I just went ahead as planned.

To date I have never left a Mark on Arianna, and I have never raised my voice to her. To date we have never had an argument. It is not because she is not allowed to voice her opinion, it is because we have the right connection.

A Dominant who is abusive has no place in the lifestyle, a Dominant with a temper has no place in the lifestyle. A Dominant with a drinking problem has no place in the lifestyle. A Dominant with drug addiction has no place in the lifestyle.

My way may not be your way, as a matter of fact I am almost sure its not, but what I am giving you is the foundation, something you can build on.

In my world there is such a thing as perfection and she wakes every morning. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. At times I just set back and look and I think to myself , yea I did that.

Vile radio is coming That I promise, things have just been so busy, but it is something we are working on, it will be a lot of fun, and yet another get away for me…

1000 post post and another 1000 coming, much love to all the awesome people who follow my blog, and a huge thanks to those who stop by.

1000

You know your always free to comment , and you do not have to agree with me, your also welcome to ask questions, but just make sure you want the truth.

Vile

If You Find My Blog Offensive

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, consequences, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, slave, Stephen Fry, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , on August 20, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

Freedom of speech in the United States is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution and by many state constitutions and state and federal laws. The freedom of speech is not absolute; the Supreme Court of the United States has recognized several categories of speech that are excluded from the freedom, and it has recognized that governments may enact reasonable time, place, or manner restrictions on speech.

 

While I am not Atheist, I am not what you would call a religious nut , I do believe in evolution so I am not sure where that would put me. We all know that dinosaurs walked the planet but the bible gives no history of it, shrugs.

Two things I have avoided talking about on my blog, religion and politics. Both have no place in my thoughts.

While I did a couple of post on Domestic Discipline it was others who directed it towards religion. In the past I have received emails asking me to do a blog on the subject, so I did.

Some years ago out on the west coast I use to listen to a shock jock, his name was Tom Leykis. This lady had been on hold for 2.5 hours just so she could tell him how much he sucked. How much she hated him, How disgusting he was, how worthless he was.

Yes I love Tom Leykis he is the man, well next to me.

If you come across my blog and you do not like my material, you can be saved, and I will talk you through the process.

While sitting there in total shock,and after you have sent a text telling everyone how disgusting I am. Listen I am typing this real slow so you will understand. Move your mouse to the top right corner, hovering over the X and left click on your mouse. Poof I am gone. The best thing about it is you never have to come back.

If you take my comments out of context that is not my fault. I hope that blowing up my blog wast therapeutic for you, I hope you felt good.

I can tell you this I am a better man than that. I have never visited someones blog and tried to rip then a new fucking asshole . I have sent private emails, but never public.

My blog for the most is about me, my life and my mistakes. I as a Dominant male, I as a Master who is married to his slave, by the way who is fine, has a degree, and does not have a low self esteem, and an awesome career , and has been with the same company for 16 years, is part of my life.

What I am getting at is I have admitted that I have made mistakes. I have admitted in the past I have been wrong, I have admitted in the past I have abused. I have admitted this to a whopping 310.000 people, from more than 175 different country’s, okay I am not sure I stopped at 175 or so, but who is counting.

My blog is popular because I am not politically correct, my blog is popular because I speak the truth and nothing but the truth. I do not tell people what they want to hear because I am afraid I will lose a follower, or maybe I might offend someone.

My blog is mostly about abuse, my blog is to help those who are new to the lifestyle spot the fakes, and the abusers.

I can talk shit because I am living the dream, because I talk the talk and I walk the walk.

Is my way the only way ? Absolutely  not but I can give you the foundation so that you can begin to build your relationship. I can make you think and see things you did not see before. I can give you a different point of view.

If you find my blog offensive then do not type in http://www.thekinkyworldofvile. No one if forcing you. I have not been casting spells.

frye

The awesome part about having my own blog is I can pick any subject I want. Okay I will admit sometimes when I am about to publish I have second thoughts, but why should I lie, or try to soften something up? If I do that I am not being me, and believe me I am the same in person.

offended Both photos and quotes from the awesome stephen fry..

Do not come to my house and bash me because you have a problem. Do not come to my house talking down to me. I want the same respect I give others.

What I do want is your comments, your questions, and yes even if you do not agree with me I want to know why, but do not come here whining like a little bitch, and then have someone come in and help you. I do not want you to agree with everything I say, I want you to disagree. If by some chance you do agree then leave a comment or ask a questions.

Feel free to ask me to explain what I mean, or how I come up with something, but again do not come bashing me.

Vile

 

 

 

 

I do Have A Temper

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, Vile, Vile Woods on FaceBook with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I do get angry, and yes I do have a temper. Arianna has never seen that side, and she never will. Once I walk out the door my life as Vile for the most stays home.

The downside to it staying home google is alive and well, and all really someone has to do is google my name. I have since taken steps to start cleaning a lot up. I will never be able to get rid of everything, but some.

One of my down falls or maybe its not I speak my mind, and if you cross me the wrong way, I can get sideways. Again Arianna has never seen this side of me, and there is no need.

Once I leave work, I pull out of the parking lot, that is where work stays. There is no need to bring any stupidity home.

Remember I was talking about our Bubble. The Bubble is our world, we do take the trash out on a daily basis, but we bring no trash home.

So I was at work last week and I was being talked to about a form that was not filled out correctly . Okay I had made the same mistake more than once, my bad. Then it came to a point I was being talked to like a child, and I sit there and I listened, and I listened, I then took the paper from her, I rolled it up, and I folded over the end and I handed it to her and told her it would fit much better now.

Yea that did not go over to well, so you know what the next step was. Yup Vile packed up, and when I walked out the door, I felt this great weight being lifted off my shoulders. I just wanted to yell FUCK YOU.

The 50 to 55 hours a week were killing me, and I do mean it was taking a toll on me, physically and Mentally and Arianna was starting to feel the effects as far as being away from each other so much.

Life is good and will always be good. Keep a positive attitude and good things will flow your way.

One thing I always preach about and no this is not about Married men. It is about doing things by the book. Even a Dominant , Daddy and Master has rules we have to follow on a daily basis. If you follow the rules and you do everything by the book, nothing will get in your way and everything will go your way. This is all Dominants , Daddy’s , Masters and Owners. Slave , those who are submissive and yes even Baby Girls.

Life is good so make it fun.

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