Archive for BDSM Collar

My Wife , My Slave , My Bitch , My Property

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Safety, Cheating Dominant, commitment, communication, Consensual, owned property, owning a slave, slave, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I read a very interesting piece from John Brownstone this am and it really hit home. I myself fully understand where he is coming from , and why it took him so long to use certain words , and why many people who are in the lifestyle and not in the lifestyle do not understand how we as Leaders , and Dominants how we could call someone so dear to us Names.

http://southernsirsplace.com/shes-my-slut-bdsm/?fb_action_ids=1561126647477766&fb_action_types=news.publishes&fb_ref=pub-standard

I have what is called pet names , some may use Baby , sweetie , Bootsey , Baby Boo, I happen to use slut , whore , my bitch , really what ever comes to mind again these are pet names , this is under what is called open communication.

Arianna knows I mean nothing by it in a angry way, to use such names out of anger is a total different story. An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts, just like a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.

You know I am not the romantic type in case you have not noticed , I try I really do , I just find it hard trying to be mushy. So I make it up in other areas. Doing things around the home, cooking on my days off , I always try and do something special. Going out as much as possible to give Arianna some breathing room, but I am just not the cuddly type and again I do try.

Looking back many years ago I saw women as objects and nothing more . It my mind it was game on and in my head I had to fuck as many women as I could. Again I was on the hunt for an object not a person , in my mind women had three pussy’s and all were there to use. I seldom dated someone more than twice unless she had above average cock sucking skills. So a long term relationship was not high on my list.

Growing older though we change , something inside of us says hey man there has to be more. Why wake up every morning alone?  The truth is you can only burn so many bridges before you run out. I have done some fucked up things in the past but one thing I always knew is NO meant NO and STOP meant STOP. Then at times silence means NO trust me you can tell. In that aspect I always respected the words and actions of NO or STOP.

John Brownstone had spoken a little about bringing another in or play in a dungeon setting , and I think such play could be okay under the right hands, as John mentioned the Dominants he knows are well versed in the lifestyle and has known them for a very long time. To add more it was not sexual which I find that to be very honorable.

I find it hard to bite or digest how a Dominant could openly share his property with another man or men. Someone you love and cherish. That mostly happens though when the two do not live together and the dude is married yea he is just a dude not a Dom or Master just a plan ol Dude.  He can share because he has no emotional ties with the submissive, she is a piece of ass and nothing more.

I loved this John spoke about respect and although there are not very many Daddy Dominants I like or even respect , without even Meeting John I have a great deal of respect for him. He is someone I could sit down with a nice Brandy someday.

Arianna you can look but you cant touch she is owned property. Since the day she was collared her collar has never been off. I have never disrespected Arianna and neither will anyone else. I have actually had other Dominants ask me if they could fuck Arianna, and all they got was a blank canvas stare.

The problem today is so many relate BDSM to just sex and kink , and nothing more . That is why so many relationships rise and fall and you people have seen that as well, subs and slaves jumping from Dom to Dom, Doms jumping from subs and slaves to others some only lasting a few days.

Back to the names , I also look at some names as a sign of ownership , my property. Some are still closed minded about the subject and that is okay we are all different.

collar

Arianna is my Property

Vile

How Do You Know If Your Submissive

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Safety, Collar, submissive submission with tags , , , , , , , on January 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  (Redirected from Submissive (BDSM))

In BDSM relationships, the bottom or submissive takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role. The other partner is the top or dominant.

A bottom can be subjected to acts such as flogging, servitude, or humiliation and can be physically restrained by bondage, which can itself inflict pain. This can include feminization as a punishment or as humiliation. A person who relinquishes control for a large percentage of his or her day-to-day life to a top, or who submits within a formal set of rules and rituals, is sometimes referred to as a slave. The top is then often called the Master or Mistress.

The term bottom originates from a more general use of the word, especially in the gay male community, to mean receptive partner during anal sex

That has to be the million dollar question , How do I know if I am submissive or not? It is  Unfortunate but you are the only one who know that answer and I suppose you have a lot of soul searching to get done.

Many are what I call people pleasers , you have the need to please and you say yes or agree to something even if you do not want to, in fear of hurting someones feelings or not being liked . I call these people the politically correct people people pleasers. Many come with a low self esteem , and there is really no reason for it and often this was the way you were raised, so yes in a sense one could confuse submission with just being a people pleaser. Although the two may seem the same they are really totally different.

Again some deep soul searching is going to be needed. Do you have the need and desire to serve or do you need because you just like to please , I see the two as being different. Do you have the need to surrender control , I did not say want I said need. Do you have the need to have rules put in place, the need to have to answer to someone, the need to kneel.

One of the first things I tell a New Dominant is to take care of all his problems , be it drama , bills , family and the worst are Ex’s the Ex has no place in a new relationship , nor does drama from an Ex. The relationship can be doomed before it even starts.

Get your life in order we all have problems that do come up but we handle them at first sight. It is not fair to someone if you bring someone into your life and your riddled with problems and drama. If you are not willing to get your life in order Submissive or Dominant you will not devote the time when it comes to a relationship.

After you come to terms , after you have the answers , your submissive or not your ready to move forward. Never let someone else tell you if your submissive or not, you are the only one who knows that answer.

Dominants come in different flavors , we are all different so this is something you must consider when you are trying to determine what type of Dominant your looking for.

Are you looking for a 24/7 relationship or are you just looking for something once or twice a month ? Are you wanting to be collared ? If that is your goal then something long term would be the idea.

Are you looking for a Daddy Dom ? Maybe your not looking for a Daddy Dom maybe someone who will enforce a few rules to help keep you in line. Maybe someone who is strict has rules and protocols.Are you looking for a Dominant who is into pain ? Maybe you just need the structure , are you looking for kink as well ? The list goes on and on it is you who has to decide where you want to be in a relationship.

Only you and only you knows who and what you are , again never let someone tell you that you are something , your submissive or your a Baby girl , or a slave, it is you who has to figure out those questions.

Last make sure you are accepted for the person you are. You do not have to change for anyone , to be yourself is your goal. If someone wants to change you , then move on because your better than that……..

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Vile

Earning Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Advice, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Collar, slave, Submission with tags , , , , , , , on December 31, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many believe submission is something you need to demand , some even believe you can force submission , while it is true in very rare cases both can be had through fear.  Fear is not what you need out of a D’s or M’s relationship , because the relationship in the lifestyle runs so much deeper.

Over the years I have met Doms who ran their relationship based on fear. As a matter of fact there was a submissive not long ago who told Arianna she was afraid of her Dom. I am not sure about others but I would think that would be very unpleasant if that is what you had to look forward to when you woke up every morning.

Hear are a few questions you should ask yourself prior to entering a relationship. What makes you think your submissive? What happened to you to make you have these feelings ? Why is being in a D’s or M’s relationship a need ? What type of Dominant do I need? I did not say want , I said need.

Dominants do not come in one size fits all , just as submissive’s or slaves do not. We are all different and we all have different needs.

What type of relationship is going to be adventitious when it comes to your well being. Do you need someone who is strict ? Do you need someone who kinda keeps a check on you ? Maybe your just looking for the kink in the lifestyle and nothing more. Maybe your just submissive in the bedroom but not while your out and about.

All of the above are questions you need to ask yourself before jumping into any relationship.

I am getting to the Topic here in a minute , if you know anything about me I am bad about straying off topic.

Today most meet new Dominants via the world wide web. I suppose it is easy , it takes little effort and you do not even have to leave your house. However I can promise you there are more downfalls than good, but for what ever reason the bad is over looked for what little good there is, and as many of you know these types of relationships are very short lived.

I would also like to add my way of thinking is not the only way.  My way when it comes to the lifestyle is not the only way, my way of thinking is not the only way, and I will be the first to admit I have and can be wrong.

What I am about to say will sound very familiar.

You just meet a Dom online and after you exchange names , he states he may in fact be looking for a submissive, and if things work out he may consider you.

Then comes, what are your limits ? Or maybe have you had a Dom before ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Are you Bi ? I have not figured out why being bi is so important, and if you say no , then comes the question would your try?

Now these little childish questions are asked before he knows anything about you. Those should be your first series of red flags, and if the conversation continues in the same manner many more red flags will follow..

What I do and most Dominants as well , we like to get to know someone as a person. I myself want to know the likes and the dislikes , what your previous relationships have been like and what happened.

I want to know what makes you think , because in order to know you as a submissive or a slave we have to know what makes you tick. .

What makes you happy , what your fears are , what you do for fun in your spare time.

The above takes time and it takes longer than one meeting. Several sessions face to face. You can get to know someone via the net or the phone , even texting but face to face then you can read someone.

Best friends , earning your trust , you being able to be an open book with no chapters missing. This does not mean you over fill your plate the first week but just bits and pieces. The more you trust the more you open up.

Pictures when I asked for a picture I wanted two , one of the face and one of a close up showing the eyes, the eyes tell everything. That allowed me to study while talking. I am not sure why someone would need nudes if your looking for a long term relationship. I find it to be degrading to ask for nude photos because most of the time one is coursed into sending them. They are really sent just to shut the Dom up.

So the two meet and they hit it off everything is flowing in the right direction and you can feel the compatibility between the two. This is when you start to build and it can be awesome……

The more you communicate , the more you trust, the more you open up. which means the more you want to give.

Now the key is for the Dominant to be who and what he says he is. The key is for the Dominant to have and allow an open line of communication.  The key is for the Dominant to set goals in place and insure they are met. The key is for the Dominant to respect your limits and not push you to a breaking point.  The key is to allow you to grow and be who and what you are.

Although submission is earned in a sense , it is up to the Dominant  to set the steps into place so it is earned, once this is done it puts both of you in a much better place, and it will allow both of you to grow. The more you grow and share the tighter the bond will become.

It is really not science , it is just being true being who you are.

When you first meet it should be about you , the whole topic should be about you and only you. I want to hear your whole life story. …

If you meet someone and ten minutes into the conversation , he is pushing a Dog collar across the table telling you to put it on , you know what he is really interested in

Just my opinion.

earn

Vile

I Am A Dominant

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, Advice, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Collar, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , on December 17, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I cannot fix you but I can guide you , I can give you the tools to put you in a much better place. I can give you communication so you know where you need to be as a slave or submissive.

I am a Dominant , I can teach , and give you advice so you will be able to see things in a much clearer way. I can help you understand the things you do not understand.

I will hold you just to hold you and want nothing in return. I will always put you first no matter what , and you will grow to know you can fully depend on me.

I am a Dominant , I will always be honest with you , I will never lie to you , nor will I lead you down a false path.

I am a Dominant I promise to give you the security you need , I promise to give you the structure you need. I promise to give you the stability you need , because that is what I do.

Being able to be yourself is the most important thing you can do in life. I want the two of us to become one. I want you to be open about your needs, most of all I want you to be you.

I will put rules in place and you will follow because you want to , you will follow because you need to , not because your have to. Following my rules will be a need for you , you will have the desire to serve me.

I am Dominant and you will serve only me , you will meet my needs and wants. You will have the need and want to serve .You know deep inside this is your freedom.

You will have the freedom to express yourself openly , you will feel right inside sharing your needs and your kinks knowing you will not be judged.

I will never abuse you in any way. I will listen and I will hear. I want to know your deepest thoughts and needs. I want to know the hurt deep inside you , I want to know the real you.

I am Dominant I will train you to fit my needs and you will adapt. I will use you for my pleasure. You will give because that is who and what you are , you will be free.

I am Dominant , when the time is right I will offer my collar so that you may endure more freedom and know the true meaning of being owned.

Walk with me and we will not fail.

dirt

Vile

What I Need, In A Slave, A Partner And BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, Collar, Collared Slave, Dominant, Dominants, Master, Master And Slave, rimming, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Most of you will probably not believe me, but I am really low maintenance. It has just been recently being with Arianna that I had even owned or thought about buying a pair of dress shoes.

My New Balance would last for a good 5 or 6 years, I had Jeans that were 10 and 12 years old, although my Shirts, dress and casual looked nice I am sure Donny Osmond wanted them back.

Jeans are not jeans until they are full of comfortable holes, the fading and the strings barely holding a section together.

I never complain about food as a young man in elementary school a good dinner did not happen often. Clothes were a luxury not a need. I remember while in the 6th grade one year I wore the same pair of pants to school everyday.

You would think it would not be noticeable but in my 6th grade class there were only 15 of us, and that was the whole 6th and they were my 8th grade graduation class as well.

During that year we lived in an old house with no power, we only had a fireplace to keep the house warm during the winter.

Both of my parents were alcoholics and addicted to prescription drugs, and both were in and out of rehabs on a regular basis. 

At the age of 15 I went to work at a local chicken processing plant working 2nd shit, I believe then I was paid 2.13 an hr. So my pay for 40 hours was about 85 dollar a week less taxes. After I turned 16 I went to work at a cotton mill making 6.00 an hr my pay jumped to 240 a week less taxes.  Those were union wages I might add. At the age of 16 that was good money. I think my pay when I joined the army was like 368.00 a month.

During this time I started working, this is when I started revamping who I was. I started purchasing nice clothes, shoes, and going out to eat most of the time, I always had money on me.

This is also when Vile began to only worry about Vile, this is when I started building what I call my bubble. Even then I let very few in.

It was somewhat earlier I had run across these little truck stop novels, I would lay in bed at night and read them. They were all about rough sex, incest, then it was really taboo to me, but as I read and I read, I could feel something inside being released. 

My confidence level had shot through the roof, I became popular in school and with the girls until the incident with Beverly, that was a post I did about our school whore. It was after that girls feared me, and I was left with what we called the sluts.

At the age of 17 My parents signed papers for me to Join the Us Army, I had to get the fuck out, because I was not going to spend my life working in a cotton mill which is closed today, or a nasty ass chicken plant.

I had to find me and I knew I wanted better. I had never been in any real trouble, and I have never been in jail.

I learned at a young age to appreciate the little things in life no matter how small they were or the meaning they had.

If you give me a used shirt and it fits I will wear it. It is the simple things in life I truly appreciate.

I can spend 2.49 on a tropical plant for my Awesome aquarium and I am like a kid in Toys R us.

Although we do have a couple of flat screen Tv’s that is not a need, I was just as happy with the old bulky TV .

Cars I really do not care what I drive as long as Arianna has something nice to drive, and of course with air. The man should always make sure his partner has something nice to drive. We are fortunate to have two new cars, but both of our car payments are less than what most pay for one car. Neither has power seats, the Fiat has power windows, but the jeep patriot has neither Arianna prefers the jeep over the Fiat. Before she was driving the Fiat back and forth to work, but I was concerned for her safety so I switched with her.

Keeping your life simple enables you to avoid many problems and drama, not to mention living beyond your means.  All of these things should be considered when forming what I call the bubble.

 You know while selling cars I had couples come in who made 300K a year and could not afford to put 1500 dollars down, they were that strapped. That my friend is no way to live.

Taking away from your family. Today family is everything, in today’s times one needs to work but you have to enjoy life as well. Over the years we have drifted apart, and we as family’s are no longer as close, mostly due to greed.

It took me sometime to come to a conclusion about what I really needed in a relationship, not what I wanted but needed.

If you settle for less than what you need , the relationship will fail it will not work no matter what you do. So you set your mind and you play by your own rules, those who choose to enter a relationship with you must play by your rules as well.

I needed a Slave and Not a Submissive, I had been in several short term relationships with those who were only submissive, and the relationships only lasted about 3 to 4 months.

I wanted a partner, a best friend, but also someone who needed to give up full control. Someone who knew who and what they were.

Someone who needed rules, someone who needed protocols , someone who needed direction. Someone who was not only loyal but needed to be loyal.

I refused to settle for less, and I dated and I dated , and I dated, and fuck I dated my ass off. Then one day I said fuck it I am done, I am moving out of country. At that point and time it was not about a steady relationship, it was about me. I already had work lined up in the Philippines, then I was introduced to Arianna. We all know the story from there.

You know I speak about how Arianna is a no limit Slave, let me clarify that for a minute. Living as a no limit slave has different meanings within each relationship.

To me no limits pertains to our sexual side, be it ATM Ass To Mouth, anal sex when I want no questions asked, face fucking, I get anything I want when I want, right down to being rimmed.

Now if you can imagine some of the other Taboo stuff, well I could have that as well. As Dominants and owners of property we have to look out for the well being of ours, mentally and physically.

In my mind I can have anything I want, when I want, and how I want without question.

You stand by what you need, and you stay with it. Never second guess yourself, because when you do you will fail. Do not be afraid to speak your mind. You are no ones property until you have earned their collar. Until then you can tell someone to go get fucked.

 collar62

I can talk shit because that collar has never been off. If some of you Dominants would stop being stupid you could have the same thing…. A partner who wants to serve.

vile

What Makes A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, Behavior Modification, Bondage, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, Humiliation, Living Poly, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is an answer that will differ from one person to another. Every Submissive, Slave, or Baby Girl will have a different definition. Every Slave, Submissive or Baby Girl has different needs, their submissive is on different levels, but the characteristics should be somewhat the same when it comes to A definition.

Honesty should be first on the list. When you first meet a new Dominant the first words out of his mouth is. You should always be honest with me. Now if he holds you to such high standards , why would he not be held to the same ?

I know I rag on married men who cheat on their wives, but if a man is married and he tells you, I want you to be honest with me at all times. You need to stop and think about those words coming out of his mouth, because he is already lying to you about being honest. It is clear he cannot run or control his own home, so how can he control you?

I will speak about couples who move into the lifestyle here in a minute, because there is a clear difference.

You know when meeting a new Dominant you should be able to tell if he has your best interest in mind. Such as asking about your home life, your health, any medications your on. The music you like, your favorite foods, you get the picture.

It is very important the two of you get to know each other as friends.If you start the relationship off on a sexual note, then that is all you will have and it will be short lived.

Make sure you fully understand what is expected of you. I myself explain things in such detail when I am finished there are no questions. If you ask me a question I give a very in depth answer.

Before a Dominant can hand out any rules, he should know you inside out, He should know how you think and what makes you think the way you do. He must have a clear picture and understanding of your bad and good habits.

I have said before rules are meant to replace bad habits. Rules are meant to provide structure. Rules will give you a comfort zone, meaning you have a clear understanding of what is going on. Once you have rules in place, they are almost never altered. Once you have a grasp on everything a few maybe added or old ones taken away.

Training

Is training real? Absolutely it is real and there are many different levels of training depending on how far you are wanting to take your submission.
Training can be mild, or it can be extreme, and even taking as far as what some would call the Stockholm syndrome, and one of the best references would be to study up on the Patty Hurst case.

You the Submissive or Slave should know and understand exactly what it is you hope to gain out of your training. How do you see yourself living in a D’s Or M’s relationship.
Before the training begins, the Dominant should sit you down and explain what he hopes to gain from your training, and where he hopes to see you in 90 days or so.
The training process can only be effective if the Dominant is consistent on a daily basis. The training can only be effective if the rules, and protocols are enforced on a daily basis.

A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that may put your job in jeopardy. A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that could be against the law.

Isolation

Many of you really have no idea what the term Isolation means when it comes to a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Implementing such an act can be very harmful to you mentally, and physically. Shutting you out from the outside world, keeping you away from family and friends.
Lets face it we all need a break at one time or another. Being able to visit friends, family, having a girls night out. You want to be able to clear your head.
Isolation is something many fake Doms use as a tool. The more your isolated the less chance you have finding out any real information.
You Don’t need friends you have me. You don’t need to talk to anyone else , that is why you have me. I am your Dom, or master I have all the information you need.

You should never give your passwords or any other personal information to your Dominant. This is a true sign of the Dominant being insecure. We are all adults and we all need some privacy. Insecurity, and a huge ego will get you nowhere.
You as a submissive or Baby girl, you have the right to question, you also have the right to say no. If your not sure Google submissive or Baby girl.

If you do not live together you should have full access to your Dominants home, once you both have agreed to enter a relationship.
The reason being, he will tell you what is yours is now his. Well surprise, surprise it works both ways now..

You should have access to your Dominant 24/7 if you are not living together. If you send a text or email, you should expect a response in a timely manner, meaning within an hour or so.
I have seen on her where a Dominant has told his property he was to busy to text, or email for several days.

Pick up your cell phone and type 35 words and time yourself and see how long it takes. 15 seconds maybe? So your going to tell me the Dominant does not have time to respond, yea bullshit.

Remember you have giving your submission, and he the Dominant has taking on the responsibility. You do have rights.

If you do not live together, and you have agreed to enter a relationship, the Dominant should be able to provide you with a clear time line on when the two of you would be making some kind of move. If neither have no plans of moving in together that is fine.

The Poly Dominant

Poly is not for everyone, and living in a poly relationship is probably one of the hardest task in the lifestyle. Most poly families do not life together, for one reason or another. I know of a couple right now that are working but the drama is just out of hand.
If you do not live together, there is no way to maintain any type of structure. If you do not live together, there is no way to enforce any type of rules or protocols.

You the Submissive needs to ask upfront if the Dominant is poly or not. If you are not poly then you need to make it clear, and you need to stand by your words.
If you are open to the idea but with stipulations you need to make them clear.
You should also ask why he has a need to have more than one submissive or slave. When I has asked other Doms the answer has always been I need more flavor. Think about this for a minute, more flavor really? So your cocking sucking skills are not good enough, maybe he needs a tighter pussy? Or maybe you refuse to do anal and that is a need for him. If ass fucking is a need and your not into anal, guess what? Your the wrong submissive for him.

Dominants And Depression

That is a loaded gun, and the clip is never empty. There is a great chance you the submissive or slave has some form of depression, not everyone but the odds are pretty good you do.
If this is the case, how would you expect a Dominant who suffers from pretty much the same thing, take control of your life. If the Dominant is not able to control his own life, how can he control yours?
These are questions you need to find out before entering a relationship. You need to know what type of medications he is on and what they are for.
When entering a D’s or M’s relationship you can leave no stone un-turned.
Depression is a silent killer, watch the news this morning and you will see.

The Dominant.

No real Dominant has anger issues. The real Dominant is in full control. The real Dominant lives by the truth, and expects the same in return. A Dominant is in full control of his life and surroundings. The real Dominant has no Drama inssues, he has no Drama with the Ex.
Most Dominant are very active in the lifestyle it is a true need, I know this because it is for me, and the 25 or so I meet with every month.
You should be able to ask for references, of other Doms he knows and in some cases other Subs he knows or has owned before.

Reason being you are going to let a man tie you up, spank your ass, along with many other things, and you do not want someone who just read 50 shades thinks he is the almighty, he is now the Master of Masters. You can get hurt.

Couples moving into the Lifestyle

Now this is the other Dominant, he may still have some anger issues. Anger or controlling anger takes a while to master, it takes time to learn how to control. It took me some time, I do have a temper, and I have lost it, but Arianna has never seen that side of me and she never will.
You have to learn how to filter that anger and replace it with good.
One thing I started doing, my mentor told me this. If you are angry think about what your going to say before you say it.
This gives you time to rethink what your about to say, and it also gives you time to calm down a little.

If your wife is not Submissive, but you have found a Dominant side in you, if you sat your wife down and explain your needs in full detail, it is more than likely she will agree to experiment with your idea. You have to be able to sat her down, and explain in clear detail what has made you change, and why these things are now a need. In most cases it is in the woman’s blood to want to please.

If you are a submissive and your Husband is not Dominant, well it is sad to say your pretty much out of luck.
Chances are the male is not going to want to take on anymore responsibility than he already has, which in most cases is very little. Those who have very little responsibility, are in it for the mother figure thing , and that is what you are you do everything his mother did, except for sex.

You cook, you clean, you take care of the kids, you pay the bills, and he watches Monday Night Football.
Many married men see BDSM as abuse, and they feel bad about doing certain things.

You all know how I feel about stepping outside of the marriage, it is wrong.
When you got married you exchanged Vows and you made a promise.
If you are not happy leave, it is not fair to you, but more so it is not fair to the other.
How long are you going to live your life unhappy, so when you think about stepping out, think about your family. Why would you want to drag them or your children through your mess.

The Collar
The collar has great meaning. The collar is a sign of ownership. Once around your neck you will feel a bond like no other. This is when your relationship really begins to grow.

The Collar is giving after your first phase of training. The first phase as I call it, can last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. About the same length of time you would think about getting married to someone.
The collar means you are now owned, the collar means you and your Dominant have come to terms and you are now ready to settle in.

If your Dom went to Wal mart and purchased a 6.00 dog collar, you now know how much your worth. If he went to an adult book store and paid 9.99 for a collar, again you now know how much your worth.

The collar is meant to be worn 24/7, so if you are a professional then great care should be taking when he is selecting your collar.

Many 50 shades Dominant have these wal mart collars and will try to give you the collar on the first meeting. This is used as leverage, this gives him more control over you, because you have agreed to submit, and only knowing him in person for a couple of hours.

Last you want to be excepted for who you are, not who the Dominant wants you to be. You want to be loved and cared for, you want communication, you want honesty, you want someone who is going to always put you first no matter what. You want someone who understands you, as a partner and a submissive, you want security, but you want that firm hand as well.
You want a leader who is in control, and stands by his words.

You want a real Dominant.
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Vile