Archive for Daddy Dom

Abuse Is Alive And Well

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Mentor, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Cheaters, Cheating Dominant, Choices, communication, compatibility, consequences, Dominance Through Intimidation, exploiting your slave, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Slave, Submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

MAsT:Kissimmee

 

May 19th

 

Meeting

A small group of 9 attended the 19th meeting and the topic was abuse. Even though I lead the MAsT, Masters and Slaves Together. http://www.mast.net , if you are not familiar with MAsT check out the site.

Abuse many understood how abuse can happen in a D’s or M’s relationship some were still unsure.

Girl- L  who is an awesome friend helped facilitate the meeting and she came loaded with awesome information. I myself like to let different people facilitate MAsT meetings because it make someone feel a part of. We also get different point of views which is truly needed.

The meeting is held at our home , meeting in this type of environment allows people to speak freely with out prying ears. It allows people to relax and let go where as they would not in a public setting.

We also spoke about how abuse is just not about men but there are women who abuse as well , mainly through manipulation or known better Topping from the Bottom. Most of the time this only occurs if the Dominant is not experienced or very new to the lifestyle…

Many times the abuse can be stopped prior to entering a relationship with the right education and asking the right questions. The problem today is many are to impatient and do not care about taking the proper steps. Being active in the community is a huge step forward , making friends as well. I have a handful of people I actually consider my friend. However being active does not always solve all problems because there is a dick or a bitch at every corner. The thing is it does not matter what others think about you or how you should be living your life, that is unless they are going to pay your bills..

One thing about the BDSM lifestyle is everybody is right and no one is wrong , everyone has the right answer and everyone is wrong. No one knows what they are talking about, even on Fetlife everyone is wrong. The one thing i noticed is all the people giving advice about how your life should go are single more so Doms. So yes taking advice from someone who has never been a D’s relationship is the way to go..

Abuse when it comes to the lifestyle is a huge gray area and it can be a touchy subject for some.

I know I have been approached by Doms in the community asking me if I thought I was to strict on Arianna. I suppose this is the difference between a Master and a Dominant, a Submissive and a Slave, having rules and protocols or just letting your girl run wild, and having no consequences for their actions.

I run a very smooth home, I am strict and firm, but I do so without arguing , screaming, calling names or even getting physical. I have rules in place and they are followed, I have protocols and they are followed.

I am not a 9 to 5 Dominant , I am not a weekend warrior , I am not a once every now and then Dominant , I am 24/7 and no less. I take full responsibility for not only my relationship but I admit when a mistake is made. One thing Arianna comes first and always will , I will drop what ever I am doing if needed. A Submissive or Slave should have 24/7 access to their Dominant or Master and no less, there are no excuses.

Okay ive been ranting a little and if you follow me you know by know I get off the subject at times.

One thing that really irks me is when mental abuse comes into play. When a slave or submissive is suffering from depressions, maybe being bipolar , manic and the newly found Dom does not see the signs or maybe he just does not give a fuck. Having any or all of these symptoms can put unneeded stress on someone and cause more damage.

Many times everything is in the open but many times who ever suffers from such a  disease will not be upfront about their illness. Many are ashamed but more are scared of failing a new relationship.

I myself cannot even imagine how someone who is bipolar , come close to even knowing what their thought process is, or even how one makes it through a normal day , much less how someone would handle being tied down and beaten, or used sexually. I would not even want to comprehend the thought process, or how scared or confused someone might be.

On the other hand there are some aspects of the lifestyle in which someone could benefit from a D’s or M’s home , if it was based on more of a structured setting , where rules and protocols were put in place to be beneficial. Understanding ones limits and not trying to push that explore button.  Insuring they are on medication and on the proper medication.

Just to let you know I am not talking out of my ass I am speaking from experience. I am living in such a relationship. The beginning  was a rough start but 3 years later I am and we are blessed. I suppose the setting would be different if love did not play a part , I suppose it would be different if you were just being used as a fuck toy….

The above can only be accomplished if you truly know someone and you care enough to put any effort into building a lasting relationship.

Some of the most common situations when it comes to abuse starts out with isolation. Separating you from friends and family. Making you turn over passwords to all of your accounts. Emails , social media , not allowing you to speak with other Doms, and the most severe is your banking information.

These tactics are used by Doms who are insecure or new to the lifestyle. Many have anger issues and use fear in order to obtain your submission, verbal and eventually it will turn physical.

Being new it will take some time to catch on before you will see the abuse or something pay hit you , thinking Hmmm there is something here that is not right. You feel like you have no one to turn to, after all you have turned your back on all of your friends, but even then how would you explain such a relationship?

Female abuse happens often and this is done through manipulation, and it happens with a Dom who lacks experience. However there are times when ones judgement can be blurred by letting feeling get in the way of a D’s or M’s relationship.

I have written about this subject many many times and at times I get this fuck it attitude because the truth is maybe one out of a hundred even takes notice.

The signs are clear first is isolation from friends and family , making you give all passwords to your email and social  media and email. Constantly putting you down calling you names and telling you , you area  worthless bitch. At times taking your banking information.

The fist date is either a Denny’s or a motel and your training starts off with you sucking cock. You get to see your new Dom maybe once a month if your lucky, or maybe more often to suck cock. The first date is the only date you are seen in public with him, unless your dumb enough to invite a total stranger to your house.

When you ask a question or question the way the relationship is going you get yelled at.

You the s;ave the submissive should have 24/7 access to your Dominant no questions asked. If you text you should get an answer , but most of the time it is days not minutes.

Most of the time you know something is wrong but you have it in your head he is the one, there is no one else who can fill his shoes , or should I say diapers.

You know I am not so sure it is abuse at times , I think it is more on the side of the Dom not knowing what they are doing. Many do not understand the amount of time it takes to develop a new D’s or M’s relationship, or most may not want to invest the time it takes, or some may not even consider the needs the submissive may have. Many see the relationship more as a maid service or just a sex toy but it runs much much deeper than just a piece of ass.

Ive had many new Dominants tell me they want to talk and spend time with me, and after I agree I hear nothing else from them.

There are those who are just male chauvinist pigs who see a bdsm relationship as a open door to abuse and just use and toss away until they have that need again.

After 3 years I am still finding it takes a great deal of time and communication.. I get to a point to where I have to alter things such as protocols or rules , I may have to add or take away. Both of us sit down and go over the rules to see if they still apply or maybe make some changes, maybe head in a new direction.

Only you the submissive knows what you need and you need to have a plan and know exactly what you need out of a relationship. Because a mistake made more than once is a decision , and everything falls on you if you allow yourself to continue to be unhappy or used…

What kind of Dom are you looking for ? What type of submissive are you ? Are you a slave? If so a Daddy Dom would not fit your needs. Are you a Masochist ? Then a Daddy Dom is not going to work.

You need to know who you are and what you need before you can begin your search.  Just because a Dom contacts you does not mean he is the one for you…

Last you need someone you can talk to , someone who understands you or at least tries, you need to have an outlet when something is not going well….

Again a Mistake made more than one is a decision..

There are those who crave to be used for what ever reason , those who continue to fall into the same trap, and just sit around wondering what has gone wrong or blaming others.. life is based on two things and only two choices and consequences .

Then I have to rag on the married Doms who are married and they cheat on their vanilla wives who know nothing about the other side of their husband. The wives who believe they have built the perfect home. Let me tell you something a man has what he has because of his partner , be it a vanilla wife a submissive or slave she built the kingdom.

He will talk about how bad she is and how he plans to leave her, she is a bitch and does not understand him, there is no communication , she takes no interest in his likes or hobbies. She is a total bitch.

If she was really so bad he would of left long ago. However maybe if this so called Dom had communication skills and really tried his wife who built his kingdom might be open to a little kink.

Instead he finds someone like you, who will take his bullshit , who will take his verbal abuse, and physical abuse. Someone who will take his humiliation, someone who wants to control you but he is controlling not in control. Someone who takes it up the ass because his wife will not…

Your a piece of ass and you will lose every time. You would cost him to much money if he left not to mention if there are kids involved… He is not going to leave the security he has the security his wife has built. You will do just fine until you become to needy and you will and he will dump you because you have become a liability.

While I was married to a vanilla for 9 years I never stepped out on her. I was in the lifestyle prior to meeting her but I was trying to change who I was. I wanted the house, the cars, the kids and the dog. My first month I knew I had made a bad mistake. Remember the choices and consequences ?

After 9 years I came clean about who I was and what I needed. I lost a house on the beach , two cars and a lot of money. I left with 1500 dollars in cash a canvas  bag full of clothes dirty and clean, and a beat up Yamaha 750.

My philosophy is if your not happy get the fuck out.. There is no reason to drag someone through the mud more so over something I did. I lied to her , I mislead her, I was someone I was not, and I made a fool out of her. I can say for the past 9 years I have paid child support every week and I have never missed a payment working or not..

You do not have to let someone drag you through the mud and in the end it will be your fault…

 

 

 

 

The Truth About Daddy Dominants

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Cheating Dominant, Collar, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Daddy's Baby Girl, Discipline, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Fake Dominants, fuck buddy, kinky, Local events, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

First I am not speaking about every Daddy Dominant in the lifestyle , I am however speaking about 98% or higher .
Baby Girls in the lifestyle for the most are really different than those who are submissive or even a Slave. Most Baby Girls do not live with their Daddy Dominants, while I am not sure what the numbers are the percentage is very high.

Most Daddy Dominants are married and cheating , most Baby Girls do not care that they could be responsible for ripping a family apart because they are selfish. Selfish enough to try and separate the father from his children. In those cases I look down on both and I have zero respect for either.

Baby Girls first coming into the lifestyle are very vulnerable, all are really clueless when it comes to the lifestyle. Most if not all are clueless when it comes to finding a good Dominant.

So A week or so ago I was speaking with a Baby Girl who mentioned the same thing I am speaking about , how the Doms wanted a relationship but they did not want the responsibility.

So while chatting with this Baby girl she told me she had been talking to a Daddy Dom or maybe just a Dom , but when I asked if he was married she said luckily no , she too has had the same problem with married Dominants.

Again I am not speaking about all Daddy Doms , there are some good ones out there who have their baby girls best interest at heart.

You know I spent almost 7 years in a Daddy Dom role , I will also be the first to admit that was a bad turning point in my relationship but I did it because it was a need for the slave, little did I know she saw that as a weakness in me , because I was willing to change who I was.

My role was not an easy one , I set goals for her , and I made sure they were followed through with. I had rules , and protocols that were followed. Again the weakness was me changing who I was.

Once your Baby girl , submissive or slave spots a weakness they will prey on that to see how far they can push you.

While our relationship is strictly an M’s , it is based more on structure , rules and protocols. I have never left a mark on Arianna , the key word here being NEVER. One I know her limits and I respect them , two I care to much for her.

This statement is going to hit some nerves. The term Daddy Dom is somewhat new to the lifestyle. Another for the most I do not even think in a Daddy baby girl relationship the term BDSM should even be used. The main reason being many do not have rules , many do not have protocols , nor any type of structure. The final the only time a collar is put on is during play.
While at a MasT meeting sometime ago a Daddy Dom called me aside and told me I was abusing Arianna, I should not even be in the lifestyle because I did not know what I was doing. He said I was to strict, and I did not give her any freedom.
I thought for a second and I asked his what was he even doing at a MasT meeting. MasT means Masters And Slaves Together.
I have been approached by Dominants who have asked me basically the same thing. These are people who do not have a true understanding of what the dynamics of a M’s relationship is really about.
Again this is not my thoughts to all Daddys Doms within the lifestyle.
However there is a reason why you do not see many Daddy , Baby girl relationships active in the local community, who knows?

Books are an excellent reference , and you can obtain a great deal of information from books , good and bad , but you cannot live your life according to what someone else has written it will not work. We as humans have different needs , different kinks , we need different structure , and rules. Books can give you an out line but in the end your just reading someones opinion, just like my blog.

Most Daddy Doms do not collar their property, well the first meeting but after that the collar is not brought up except during play.

We need to learn to accept everyone for who they are , and what would help is maybe learning to understand our friends a lot more. The more we understand the more we grow, the more we grow , then we are open to more ideas.

I have a very dear friend Master R , him and I live total different separate lives , we both have total different views on how a M’s relationship should be ran, how a house should be ran, but we are open enough to understand we both have different needs. We also know we can depend on each other , and today in the lifestyle that is really hard.

That is why when you first meet someone being able to clearly communicate is so important, being able to understand where each other is coming from. Knowing what is expected of each other. How you see yourself in a relationship , be it Daddy Dom Baby Girl , Dominant , and Submissive or Master and Slave.

I have said this before , my way is not the only way, and just with any book , after reading some 1000 post maybe you can lay the ground work to something awesome…

Again there are a few Daddy Dominants I respect but for the most man I cant even say.

Many who call themselves Daddy Doms are married and want a piece of ass on the side. So you sit and wait and wait and wait for that call or text and then you get a couple of hours alone, then you wait another two weeks or a month and in some cases longer. You are an object and if you are happy being an object then so be it I am happy for you.

Daddy

Vile

If The Truth Hurts , Go Fuck Yourself

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, Broken Dominant, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, commitment, communication, consequences, controlling, Divorce, Domestic Abuse, Dominant, Dominants who suffer from depression, Ed Wolf facebook, Ex wife, exposing bad dominants, Fake Dominants, http://ekidon.wordpress.com/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, non caring, non-consensual, self centered, Self Inflicting, Self Pity, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Last night I was on Facebook just minding my own business , playing Pawn Stars which is really boring by the way, and I get a private message.
Hey Vile you should see what is going on with this blog, so I look and I do not see anything, so I ask again, Ohhh on Facebook okay let me check it out.

Now before I go on, I want everyone to know I never use any ones name on here. One I know most people want their privacy , and two I never bash any one individual.

So for those of you who do not know me, I have never claimed to be politically correct. I tell it as I see it, but one thing you should know is I live by the truth , the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Something else I would like to bring up , I have never claimed to know everything in the BDSM world or the lifestyle, but what I am sharing is more than 20 years of my life in the community.

Also I would like to point out those who do not know me, may think I have an ego problem, and that is so far from the truth, I am just very confident, and there is a huge difference.
I have made it clear many times there is no room in the lifestyle for an ego. Ego’s kill relationships.

So I go and check out the Facebook page, and I am reading.

I want to Blast Vile Woods so bad, but I know when to take the high road.

I start thinking and I do not even know this dude, why in the fuck is he bashing me? What the fuck did I do to him?

As it turns out I did nothing to him at all, he is angry because his submissive , well I think she is his submissive reads and likes my blog.

I would also like to point out, what I write is strictly my own opinion, and nothing more.
I am sharing my life experience’s with everyone. As you have seen 90% of my blog is about abuse, what to look for when meeting a new Dominant? Questions to ask when meeting a new Dominant.

I have a very successful M’s relationship and I want to show others it can happen, and you can be happy.
While my way may not work for you, you can take bits and pieces , and maybe put a plan together.

So I send Ed Wolf a Message, I would not normally use anyone’s name but he did blast my name for everyone to see, so now I return the favor. I am not going to get drawn up in all the drama by the way, so after this post it will be done..

Vile

Mr Wolf

If you have a problem with me, you should come to me.
As far as I know I have done nothing to you, maybe I have and did not realize at any rate I am not sure what blasting on FB does.

Vile

Ed Wolf

As I said have strong feelings but wouldn’t result to sniping on social media

Vile

what the fuck are you talking about

Vile

Have you got the right dude?

Ed Wolf

Yes never mind. I regret that I commented at all. Sorry

Vile

Um I’ve never said anything about you on social media

Vile

you have never even crossed my mind

Vile

If I am going to talk about you I will use your name

Vile

Dude really you should know me.
Which he does not, even though I guess he follows my blog, he has liked several post in the past.

Ed Wolf

No I shouldn’t. I have enough on my plate without dealing with another egomaniac.

vile

well okay I am not sure what got you all in an up roar but I am good dude, if I was going to talk about you I would of used your name.

Vile

I am not an egomaniac by the way I have no reason to be.

Vile
My life is good dude

Vile
Believe what you want but you were never a topic on my blog

Vile
I do not know enough about you to blog anything

Vile
dude I know nothing about you nor do I wish to

Vile
I don’t know if your single married, divorced kids nothing at all

I do know now he is divorced, and his submissive is still married.

Ed Wolf
I know you weren’t specific or talking about me. Im worried about someone else who considers your opinions as fact. Biting my tongue sorry I said anything. My apologies

Ahhh now the cat is out. His submissive reads my blog.

Vile
Well if you have a lot going on in your life you should fix it.
Sounds like a lot of drama.
chill out , come up with a plan and do it.
Staying calm and cool is the best path

Ed Wolf
Lol
That was Mr Wolf’s final answer.

So while I am not going to speak bad about the submissive, out of respect.
I will tell Mr Wolf he should leave married women alone and get his own woman.

Far be it for me to spread rumors but word on the street is Mr Wolf has stock in Jack Daniels. Alcohol and BDSM do not mix any Dominant should know that.

Rumor on the street has it Mr Wolf also has a bad temper, again a bad temper does not mix well in a BDSM relationship, or any relationship for that matter.

If Mr Wolf has a drinking and temper problem, how is that going to effect his newly found relationship.
I am sure is played a huge part in his divorce as well.

A Dominant is in full control of his life, a Dominant does not have a temper problem, after all we are leaders.
Then you add the drinking problem, which probably stems from a childhood trauma, who knows, maybe just stressed and he cannot handle everything thrown at him.

Then I look at Mr Wolf’s blog, there are a few post but nothing he has written. His whole blog is just re-blogs, which shows he really has no real interest.

This will make my 990th blog and maybe I have re-blogged a 100 maybe less.

Here is Mr Wolfs Blog

http://ekidon.wordpress.com/

BDSM -Ties That Bind or Break Us
ekidon.wordpress.com

You know if you had a problem with me, you should of come to me instead of blasting it out over the net, but just like your last comment Lol it shows your colors.

A true Dominant would not of acted out as you have, a true Dominant would not of gotten angry at his so called submissive, with who you do not live with, and I will share with you how that is going to play out here in a minute.

you the Dominant are now running around and apologizing to others you have offended. Speaking to other submissive’s in a rude way, which again a true Dominant would of never done.

Mr Ed Wolf let me tell you just how things are going to play out, so you can prepare.

You are going to lose, and you are going to lose with your actions, your childish behavior , you are going to lose because of the anger issues you have. You Mr Ed Wolf are a abuser, you were in your first marriage and you will be to whom ever your lucky enough to lure in.

You will lose the married submissive you have now, as well as the friendship. Your actions are causing her great distress, your actions are causing her to be depressed, your actions are making her confused, your actions are making her cry.

Mr wolf only cares about Mr Wolf, it is all about Mr Wolf, and no one else.

I feel deep pity for you, I do not feel sorry, but pity

Shame on you, what gave you the right to go to another mans house and try to claim his wife? Who the fuck are you?

This is why you lose friends, and again you cannot see it, because it is all about Mr Ed Wolf.

If what your submissive is saying to you is the truth you have no reason to get upset. My guess is your upset because your cover has been blown.
She is married you should leave her alone and find your own woman.
Someone who likes Jack Daniels?

Do not ever bring my name up and try to get me mixed in with your garbage.
I am unforgiving so I do not accept your apology..

Arianna wanted me to say nothing to you, and I understand because your full of drama, but you never should of called me out in public among my friends when I did nothing you.
You should of been a man and came to me, but instead you laughed.

If you cannot control yourself, your anger, your emotions, how can you possibly control someone else?

hate

Vile

Do You Know What Training Really Is ?

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, Baby Girl, bdsm, being used, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, cunt, Daddy Dom, Deception, Depressed, Depression, Dominance Through Intimidation, Giving Head, Humiliation, infidelity, married, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, poly, Polyamory, Rules, Safe and Sane, selfish, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 25, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Lets take cock sucking out of the picture, while we are at it lets take a rule out a lot of you have, or have had.
Your not allowed to cum for a month, or maybe even two months

The second I spoke about is pure ego, and nothing more. The you are not allowed to touch your pussy or cum without my permission was something I did when I was in my twenties. If I had come across anyone who had been in the lifestyle for anytime when I said those words I was laughed at. They knew then I was not a experienced Dom.

Before you begin your Training there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.
1. Is this lifestyle really for me? You know your own feelings, but much research must be done, before being able to correctly answer.
2. Why do I need to be trained?
3. What do I hope to get out of being trained by a Dominant ?
4. Just how far do I want to go ?
5. What are some of my limits ? You probably have an idea, but you also may need to explore.
6. What Type of Dominant or Master should I be looking for ?
Remember we are all different , we all have different values, and methods. Some are very strict, while some are not. Some have rules and protocols while some do not. Some want to see their property excel in life, while others will still care about you but you are more of a physical object.

These are just a few of the questions you need to ask yourself before you begin your journey. Know what you need is very important. Never let anyone tell you what you need, or how they are going to change you.

Meeting your new Dominant and taking an assessment should be done while you are getting to know each other. This covers many areas.
Your health should be talked about in depth, medications, phobias as well. Your work should be discussed, as well as family and friends.

Here is a list of health questions I used.
Do you have any dietary restrictions?
Are you allergic to anything? (Scene materials as well as common allergies)
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? Dental bridges or hearing aids?
Do have any injuries that can keep you from service or play type training? (Neck, back, knee injuries)
Do you have any ongoing illnesses or chronic problems? What type of medications or treatments do you take for these?
Make a list of all the vitamins, herbal or nutritional supplements your take?
When was your last blood test and physical? Will you be willing to take a blood test or physical?
Do you use recreational drugs (including alcohol or tobacco)? What? How Often?
Do you have any addictions or are you struggling with an addiction?
Are you recovering from an addiction? Are you clean and/or sober? How long?
Have you suffered from abuse as a child? As an adult? (Physical, verbal, psychological, sexual, spiritual)
If so, are there any triggers that can cause you trauma now?
Do you abuse others, or have abused others, in the past? How have you addressed these problems?
Have you ever had any type of sexually transmitted disease? How was it, or is it, being treated?

All of these questions are very important, this is one of the ways besides communication you get to know someone. This will also prevent someone from getting hurt.

While there may not be a cure for many mental illnesses, I do believe that under the right house, and the proper structure , most can be kept under control, and managed.

Clarification. You will need clarification on the entire process. You will want to know what will be expected of you.

If you work or have children there will be limitations that will have to be put into place.

Just so you know this is not a Wham Bam Thank You Process. These discussions is something that should take place over time. This is a courtship, this is the getting to know each other time.
Go out to eat, catch a movie, long walks. The most important thing is to take your time. Communication is the most important thing in your relationship, but and there is a but, compatibility plays a major role.

Call me Sir, call me Master, call me Daddy, never fall for those demands. Each title no matter what should be earned and not demanded.

The RULE thing is never really clear, a lot of Dominants want to start out with rules before even entering a relationship.
Once your relationship gets to that point, when a Rule is giving out, there should be a clear explanation on why that rule is being put into place.

One thing I do and did, when I explained something to Arianna, I explained it in such a way there were no questions. Everything must be very clear.

It is also impossible to be told to memorize 30 or 40 rules. If the Dominant expects you to remember each and everyone , then he should be able to repeat them all.

We all have training ideas, but what works for one will not work for another.
The one thing you have to remember you are being trained to fit someone’s needs, it is you that will have to adapt to your new world, not the Dom.

In many cases you may need to be trained, looking for that structure in your life, or you may be perfectly fine, and your just entering a D’s or M’s relationship, at any rate you are still going to adapt to someone else’s world. Your life is going to really go through changes.

Some of the things that are important to us, is our family, we also need friends, you need to be able to go out, we all need down time.
During your negotiation part you need to make sure you will still be allowed to do the above.

If the Dominant you are meeting tells you he is married, make sure the spouse is okay with what he is doing. This is where it gets tricky because you cannot just take his word, after all if his wife says its okay for him to see other people, then it should be okay for you to talk to her.

He will come off well my wife is a bitch, she does not understand me, she does not fulfill my needs, she is always nagging.
Well!!! If things were really all that bad he would not be there.
I am staying because of the children. Yea that is a lame excuse.
He is cheating because she will not suck cock or take it up the ass but you will.
Remember you are now number two , and you will always be number two.
No Birthdays, no Holidays, no vacations, you are just a secret.

Training should start almost immediately once the two have agreed to enter a D’s or M’s relationship. The most effective way to train is while you are living together.
If your Dominant is a once a month warrior then you are not really going to get the whole picture.
This also happens when you see someone who is married, your in it for the benefits, and he is in it for the ass, and nothing more.

You the Submissive or Slave should have a good idea when it comes to what your looking for, and what your needs are. This is something you need to cover as well.
When you meet a new Dominant, and you are to intimidated or scared to talk openly about your needs then he is the wrong Dom for you.
A Dominant should make you feel at ease, relaxed. He should be easy to speak to, and not make any demands.
If you cannot speak freely and express your needs, how can you fully submit to him?

The first meeting all eyes should be on you. You should be doing all the talking, and the Dominant should have his total attention on you. If your shy he will keep the conversation flowing with questions
During this time he is taking in all the information. This is the time he is putting a training program together in his head.

Your question should be what does your training consist of? What do you think I will get out of your training ?

What are your protocols ? Are your protocols just private or are they public as well?

One thing I did, is I would request a journal be started something I could read everyday or week. I did not have to do that with Arianna because she had ten years worth of journals, so I really got a deep look inside her life.

There are rules and then there is sex. The two should never be mixed. Rules are meant to provide structure, and guidance.

A rule telling you to send a video on your anal training does not benefit you at all. You being told as a rule to send nude pics, does not benefit you at all.
If these are the things he is interested in, then he does not have your best interest in mind.

Being trained is real, and you need to be sure you are in the hands of someone who really cares about you. Someone who has open communication.
Our lifestyle is you are a True D’s or M’s is a mind thing. It is all about the Dominant getting inside your head, and having the ability to stay there, keeping you in that submissive frame of mind.

The first 90 days Arianna had almost zero freedom. She was allowed to call and visit family, she has a dear friend she was allowed to see, and of course work.
Other than the things above she spent 90 days learning Viles way.
Rules a few at a time, protocols, again Viles way, learning in service. Learning how to be a host in an M’s home.

The first thing I did, was introduce her to friends I had within the community.
Why did I do this? She has been in two Bad D’s relationships prior to me.
I told her I had been in the lifestyle for more than 20 years. So not that I had anything to prove, I introduced her to very close friends who had known me , here in the local community. This was a way to validate myself. I am who I said I was.

Any Dominant who tells you he has been in the lifestyle for 20 years knows people in the lifestyle, and he should be more than willing to introduce you to his friends.
99% of the time he will be active in the local community, if he is not then something happened.
It does not take much for a Dominant to get a bad name, and once your shunned , there is really not much he can do as far as meeting new subs or slaves, unless it is Via Collarme or something.
That should be a bad sign if he tells you he has no friends in the local community.
I know and I know others who need that interaction. We need to be able to talk to our friends, someone we can relate to.

There are warning signs to look for, and many times you see them but you over look them because you think he could be the one.
Well! he is nit the one, because there are thousands of ones out there, and if you settle for less than what you need, your relationship will be short lived.

Many Dominants who have no real life experience will try to isolate you, because they are still in the insecure mode. The married Dominant will even more isolate you, because you are his fuck toy on the side.
These are also warning signs you need to look out for, keeping you isolated is where the abuse begins, and once it starts you are the only one who can stop it.

You are a submissive you have the right to question, more so you have the right to say no.

Remember everything is a negotiation , this is when you talk about your needs, what you expect out of the relationship, as well as your limits.
You want everything out on the table, so there are no surprises.

Now the most important issues. What are you going to get out of the relationship? If you are not living together , how much time will be devoted to you?
Is the relationship going to be one on one or he is Poly? That is a very important question, if you do not ask he may bring it up at a later date.

If you are asked a direct question then give a direct answer, and do not tell something someone wants to hear, be honest.
If you ask a direct question you expect a direct answer.

If your going to submit, you cannot submit on your terms, if you happen to find a Dom who will allow you to do this , then what kind of Dominant is he ?

Also it is not that you will not have any say , but your whole thought process will be different, you are now in the follow position. The Dominant will lead you will follow.

When you first meet asking the proper questions, and giving honest answers would prevent so much drama and heartache. Many for what ever reason are to intimidated to speak up. If the Dominant has caused this, then you need to step away before even meeting him, so there is no connection.

You cannot gain a connection over the internet alone, well it can be done if both are honest. The truth is we can be who ever we want to be, and make you believe most anything without even meeting.

Married Dominants, they do not want a relationship with you. You will never be able to experience what the D’s lifestyle is truly like. You will never get that one on one attention you need, he will never be available when you need him, but he has agreed to take care of you, he has agreed to be there for you. The truth is that will never happen.
He will never leave his wife, his home, his cars, nor his children, nor is he going to part with his money.
Why would he leave he has the best of both worlds? He has everything at home, and someone who will suck his cock on the side. The truth hurts huh?

In the lifestyle training is for the betterment of the submissive or slave.
You have to decide if you want to be part of a growing relationship, or just a piece of ass on the side that no one knows about. The dirty little secret you cannot even talk about, because your married Dom is afraid you will blow his cover.
Sitting at home on your couch, crying because you cannot get a reply to a text is no way to live.
He cannot text because he is having a cookout with his wife and kids.
The biggest myth is you are the only one he is seeing on the side, if you believe this then you are dumber than your Dom thinks you are already, and yes he thinks your Dumb, he thinks you can do no better, and he thinks you are wrapped around his fingers, and when you leave after a year or so he will find someone to take your place. You are not an asset and never will be.
He will keep you until you become either to needy, or a burden to him. Keep your cock sucker shut and things will go as he had planned

This is why it is very important when a Dominant says he wants to train you, you need to get clarification on what he means.

You have the right to explain your needs, and you need to be sure they are going to be met, before you enter the relationship, because once his lies start they are never ending.

Training is meant to be one on one with no interventions. You should be the Dominants main focus during this time.
Telling you that you are not allowed to cum is not training , and I will tell any Dom or Master face to face he is full of fucking shit.

You calling him Sir, Daddy, or Master, and in his mind he is calling you an idiot.

Does anyone know the Definition of the word CUNT?
Cant understand normal thinking.

Men fall under this category as well it is not only women, because I meet stupid everyday, and I meet a lot of CUNTS

If you stay focused you will go far, if you stick to your plan you will go far. If you stick to your goals in life you will go far. If you make sure your needs are met you will go far.

The only way you can be trained is through someone being consistent, consistency is the KEY.

focused

Yours Truly
Vile

Interview With A Daddy And Baby Girl

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Baby Girl, bdsm, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, masochist, Rough Sex, SADOMASOCHISM, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is just awesome a Daddy and Baby Girl who has been married for 17 years…

So I put a series of questions together and they both answered them. These interviews gives up a different perspective about someones life. It gives us a deeper look, into someones home…..

 

1. You stated that you now have a Daddy, do the two of you live together ?

***** Yes. I am fortunate that I am married to my Daddy. We have been married 17 years. We have 3 kids. All teenagers.

2. How long have both of you been in the lifestyle?

***** we have been in the lifestyle over a year. However when I happened to stumble across a few things on twitter I realized that my submissive nature and the way I had been living my whole marriage had a name and I wasn’t the only woman who lived this way. Taking care of her husband and such.

3. This is for you Daddy. Have you always been a Daddy Dominant, or was there a time when things were different , meaning did you ever take on a different role? I myself was in an M’s relationship and we moved into a Daddy Baby girl role.

No, I have not always been a Daddy Dom.  I have been a “normal” dom as well as a Master.  I have explored all aspects in finding what I am and what I need to be.

4. This is to your Daddy. I know a lot of Daddy’s who really do not have rules they have their Baby Girl follow. Are there any rules or protocols you enforce on a daily basis ?

Yes, my Baby Girl has both rules and protocols that she must follow on a daily basis.  For example, she must check in with me when she leaves and arrives someplace, keep a daily food log to make sure she is eating healthy, make my coffee, etc.  These help give her daily structure and make her feel safe.

5. Are the two of you active in the local community if not do you have any plans in the future ?

*** we live in a small town and we were not sure what was in the area. We started out in the swingers community over 2 years ago. However we have found a couple of events in the area that we hope to go to next month.

6.  You stated that in the past you had an online Dom. Did you learn anything from that relationship ?

***** Yes, I learned several things from that relationship.

 1. An online relationship does not fulfill everything I need as a submissive.

 2. From this relationship I found my true submissive side as a baby girl. Just being a submissive wasn’t enough. So I found myself doing things for Daddy to fill the holes that I had. Since I wasn’t unable to do them in person for my on line Dom.

3. I learned that what I thought I was looking for I already had living with me. I had feared that daddy would not be able to handle this new baby girl side. We had tried a straight Ds relationship with a contract, that I signed under duress, and it just ended ugly. It did significant damage to our marriage. It has taken us son time to repair and in that process I was allowed to have an on line Dom. However Daddy was in the know about everything that happened with that relationship. I eventually out grew him which on line isn’t hard to do and Daddy was patiently waiting for me.

7 To Daddy, Are you Collared and if so what was the time period for the collaring ? I do know that all Daddy Doms do not believe in a collar.

My Baby Girl is not yet formally collared.  She is currently wearing a training collar until the time that I present her formal collar.  There is no time frame in my head for collaring.  Yes, some Daddy Doms do not believe in collars but I believe a collar is a wonderful symbol of her submission to me.  It also makes her feel safe and gives her a reminder of me all day.  She feels that I’m there and that she is protected.

8. As a Daddy and Baby girl, are you just into the Discipline part of the lifestyle or is there kink involved as well…

**** While while I thrive and feel a very strong need for the discipline. I am a masochistic. I love pain. I find a clam in a good therapy spanking. Canning can and has taken me into the beautiful depths of sub-space. I love to be tied up. A good rough fuck is always great. I am a fan of wax play and the Wartenberg wheel. I enjoy a good scene. Really as long as Daddy is using me for his pleasure I am happy.

This is just awesome Thank you both for taking part, and sharing something so deep. More so showing a Daddy and Baby Girl relationship can work…

Vile

This Is So Sad, Yes About Married Men Who Cheat

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, Cheat, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, emotional, Emotions, Married Dominant, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, syphilis with tags , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I blogged a couple of year ago about a Submissive I had met, her mother hated me. I was okay with that but I did not truly understand why she did not want her daughter seeing men, until I got the whole story…..

Her mother was nutty , but she became more nutty after her illness. Her dad worked in the Antarctic, he was gone 8 months out of the year and home 4 months. He never had sex with his wife well rarely did they have sex, and after meeting her I understood why.

Anyway he had left to go back to work, and she began to break out with skin rashes but bought over the counter medication, even after going to the ER when the rash was gone but was suffering from stomach pains. Shortly after the first visit to the ER , her daughter had to call and ambulance , her mother had a stroke and spent about 4 weeks in the hospital… Her diagnosis syphilis. She had a stroke and he had caused neurological problems as well and it could not be reversed . She forgave him as well, because she had never worked and even getting a check now she could not afford to live on her own. ..

I hear about this all the time and this is why I am so against anyone stepping out side of their marriage. It is all due to a lack of communication and nothing more, and in most cases the male does not know how to communicate his feelings.

So I did a blog this am and it mentioned men who step out of their marriage, and the lack of communication, and a reader responded about how her husband stepped out on her, and it was what I had said a lack of communication. Because if he had communicated with her she would of probably went along with what ever he wanted. …

Here is her response….

Thank you for posting. I was the wife who was cheated on years ago and the damage done to me emotionally sometimes still haunts me. He never told me what he needed until he finally left. By then he had given me a baby to raise and a few STDs. Not a good feeling. He should have been honest with me from the beginning. I’d have never married him.
So it was more than just STD’s she can no longer have children because of him… Here is the kicker..

I want to share one more thing. By the time my ex told me he wanted me to have sex while his buddy taped it, he’d already given me one STD. I’d faced my GYN who thought I’d been sleeping around. I was mortified. There was no kinky thing I was ever going to engage In With him because I already knew he couldn’t be trusted.

He was also banging the 18 year old Babysitter as well.

I have said this before if you are sleeping with a married man, and you believe you are the only one he is sleeping with, you are nuts.
The so called Dominant who prey on those who are submissive usually has a long list of women he is seeing, he really has nothing to lose, because he will just go back home to momma. He really has nothing to lose. He is not flipping any of the bills, he has no upkeep , just pussy on the side until the women catch on.

Now where am I getting my facts from? Over 23 years now being active in the lifestyle, I have met thousands through out the years and as many scum bags, and it is the same ol story time after time.

Now I have seen one who maned up and left his wife, because he needed to be him and he was honest and upfront, like me he was married and he did have children as well, he too lost almost everything.

If you think a man who has been married for 30 years who is middle aged, is going to walk away, wow your nuts.

A judge will not be kind, I was married for 9 years and was left homeless. well I had about 1600 in cash when I moved out. I felt free, I did not care about the house, or the cars, everything. The thing was I was able to be who I wanted and needed to be. I communicated my needs and I asked asked to move out. During our 9 year marriage I did remain loyal.

You can catch something and some there is no cure for. The heartache this woman went through and for a long time she thought everything was fine.
When she gave birth the first time she suffered from depression so he sent her to live with her parents because he worked. When she would call home women would answer the phone and refused to wake him because he was tired, I also have that response, but you can read it as well.
It is not a question of how you will get caught it is when, and if you have read the news any some women are now in prison because they shot someone for trying to wreck their home.
This woman had worked so hard to build what she had, and if it had not been for her they would of had nothing.
The Babysitter was to young to know or ever care about wrecking someones home, she had nothing to lose either she probably still lived at home.

It is truly sad when a man cannot be a man and he has to turn to take advantage of women who know nothing about the lifestyle and the way it is suppose to be.

Now I have been blogging about this for over two years, and each time I get a heart breaking story from someones life who has been wrecked because their husband could not be loyal.
You girls are expendable their wives are not they have way to much to lose. If the man is not happy he will leave.
If he is seeing you and he is not taking any responsibility in your upkeep as he should because if you knew anything about the lifestyle you would know a real Dominant would keep his up, if not half it would be all, if he is not that is a huge sign, and it says danger, your being had.
Ask any submissive or slave they will tell you the same thing.

I am so against abuse, I hurt for the woman who responded to my post because it was like I could feel her pain. I had to sit back and catch my breath because it was like she was sitting face to face with me.

I believe it was lionresurrected@wordpress , who maned up and did just what I did. He stepped up to the plate.

All of this because his wife wont take it up the ass, or suck cock, the man will risk everything.

As I stated Ive been on this kick for a very long time, and it is just wrong, it is demeaning. My hat goes off to the woman seeing the married man because you have a heart of steal.
Now are you prepared for Karma because Karma is real.

I am also sure you were told it was alright, you were told his wife said he could fuck other women. Your hearing this from a man who is stepping out on his wife, if this was true why are you always the secret, why are you always watching behind your back.
What are you going to tell her when she confronts you with a gun.
That is not love. Start acting out on a regular basis, become more needy, become more of a problem, and you will be asked to leave, because he has nothing invested.

Vile

When Your Submission Grows

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm with tags , , , , , , on June 29, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was on Kayla Lords blog the other day and she was speaking about submission.

http://kaylalords.com/2014/06/need-control-something-dominance-submission/

She has just moved in with her Daddy Dominant, but had never lived with him 24/7.

Your life takes such a drastic turn, the events that will unfold will knock you down. I have said this before if you are not living a D’s or M’s relationship 24/7 you are not getting the full experience. . The weekend warrior Dom with a hand bag is not even close.

Once you make that move and you are living 24/7 your feelings can change over night, and you really have no control. The only hope you can have is that you are in the right hands, and you know what ever the outcome , your Dom will be there for you.

I have said this before to many who said well I am a little girl, I need a Daddy Dom, well you truly do not know because you have not lived the Daddy and Baby Girl, Many have said well I am not a slave I am a submissive, again until you walk through that door and you kneel you have no idea what your inside is going to tell you.

You are who you are because you find a certain term appealing , or some online Dom or Daddy tells you that you have the personality of a Baby Girl, or a Submissive, even a Slave.

Okay so lets take all of the labels out of the picture. No Dominants , and no submissive’s , no masters, no slaves, no Daddy’s no Baby Girls.

You all have one thing in common, you are all Submissive. Okay one more thing, you like to have someone in control.  Another you like being able to follow, and know that you have a good leader. You need to know you are going to be taking care of.  Remember now no labels.

You are all submissive, you all want structure, you all want someone who is going to run the house, you all want rules. You need the authority figure in your life, someone who is not abusive or going to take advantage of you.

If you know nothing of the lifestyle, and we are talking I give you a label, and I give a half way decent explanation , guess what? You are going to believe it.

If you are not living 24/7 you are not getting any of the benefits of just how awesome the lifestyle can be. You are getting the moment, the couple of hours, maybe spend the night once a month, you are being taking down a false road of hope. You will catch on but it will take time.

So in Kayla lords statement she was now somewhat confused if I read it right, she was no longer sure what her role was or how she felt.  Southern Sir and her did not want a 24/7 M’s relationship, but now living with him she has mixed feelings.

There is not really that much Difference between a D’s Couple and an M’s Couple, very little difference. If you read the definition of a Daddy Dominant there is very little difference between a D’s Couple and a Daddy and Baby Girl couple. Most of the baby girls though are fed a line of shit a mile long. The Baby girl is always thinking man there has to be more to it than this…

Once you make that move as Kayla Lords did, you are stepping into new territory , you are stepping into the land of the unknown. Okay so you fight it, because you do not want to be a submissive, you sure as hell don’t want to be a slave. Where is fighting something like your feelings going to get you. Stress, confusion, even scared ?

I made it clear to Arianna before she moved in, her life would change. Her life would be nothing like it was with the two prior Dick Heads. Her life did change, we talked about it, so Arianna knew what to somewhat expect.

If you do not fight your feelings because of a label your life will be so much easier. The only possible danger you have is giving into your feelings and you don’t have a Dominant who is willing or can step up to the plate. If you do happen to have that Dominant who can step up, and be there and guide you, your life will grow and it will continue to grow, and so will your submission.kneeling62