Archive for Dominant and submissive

The Fall Of The Married Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Baby Girl, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Consensual, Daddy Dom, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, http://bestslavetraining.com/, infidelity, Married Dominant, NCSF, submisive, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , on January 22, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to start off by saying I am really pissed off. This past year has really been fucked up , not with my life but our election process , protestors , crying when losing , but that is not what I want to cover right now but it falls into the same category.

Fetlife is an awesome social Site for like minded people. Fetlife has thousands of groups and forums to allow those with little to know experience to learn and meet others if you so wish….. Every kink you could ever think of some you know then others are like what the fuck.

Unfortunately there are stupid people in the world , there are those who do not give a fuck, and there are those who simply do not care. As with any site you have to be careful fuck even eharmony has had bad things happen , Christian Mingle , you know shit happens.

What I mean by shit happens there have been several rapes , probably more because over half go unreported.

As with any website when you take money you have to go through a Merchant to handle you’re credit cards. It turns out the Merchant thought Fetlife was a liability when some of the fetish’s that were listed, and many have been removed , as with some profiles and some even had to change the screen name.

 

I cannot express the caution that needs to be taking when meeting a New Dominant. You the Slave , you the Submissive , you the Baby Girl what ever you fall under you have to be careful.

There is a Vetting process you should put the Dominant through , it is you’re right to know the guy inside and out. You have the right to ask questions , email or text others he knows in the community. Lets face it anyone could say they are a Dominant , a Master, or a Daddy Dom. Most will tell you they have been in the lifestyle for 10 , 15 , and 20 years. Most will tell you they are very experienced , when in fact they do not have a clue and this is where you can get hurt. Once you are tied up spread open wide you are fair game and you cannot do anything about it until its over. Think about that really hard , I mean really think.

99% of Dominants are active in the community , roughly 75% want to make a difference in the community , they want to help. Those who tell you they are not you need to find out why? Some will say it is because of work they cannot be seen , but the truth is even like Munchs there are no signs up that say hey this is where are the Dominants and Slaves are meeting. I know Teachers , Lawyers , Doctors who are all lifestyle friendly.

You also have to find out if the Dominant will support you if you want to be active in the community that is what a Dom is suppose to do..

Then we have the Almighty Married Dom , the Married Dom who goes behind his wife and cheats. These are not Dominants these are dudes looking for kink. These are guys who want to find someone who will do things his wife will not.

You are there for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to be used , and you are used on his terms when he able to sneak out of the house. If you think about it if he was a Dom he would be running his own home and would not be looking for a submissive right ?

Having a Married Dominant is a lonely life , when you email or text most of the time it is a week or longer before you even get a response. The reason is I am to busy , work is really crazy , I just didn’t have time. Think about those reasons for a minute, really he has no time to text or email really ? It takes roughly 30 seconds to send a text and about a minute to send an email.

You’re training will consist of sucking cock , and laying on you’re back , getting you’re ass beat for no reason and you take what is giving because you feel you have something to prove.

Training is really an in depth process , it is a process that does not take a week , two weeks , three weeks I am talking months. Training is a hands on process, training is a eye to eye process. You cannot do it texting , you cannot do it face timing , or sending videos , naked pictures or doing anal training alone while he jacks off over the phone.

There are actually two more side to this story though and both are Okay if you are happy with seeing a Married Dom and getting banged once a month, yea the no strings attached thing and that is okay, it does not make you into something bad everyone has needs.

Then there is the Single Submissive who knows the game , she knows about the married Dom , she knows what he is up to , she knows he is sneaking behind his wife’s back and she knows he is scum , pretty much worthless.

I have blogged about Married men before , as a matter of fact several times and not one time has a married dude ever come forward and try to explain his actions.

So I recently received a comment from a single submissive who knows the game , but the trick is , while the Dominant is playing the game she is one step ahead. In fact she is playing the game , and she is running the show. She plays until she gets tired of him then drops him like a bad cold.

I love it because in the end , his ego goes from a 10 to about a 2.5. I cannot even imagine how someone would feel on that end of the stick.

When I responded I was ecstatic , in total awe , I had to re-read it a dozen times…

So here is it..

I’m a female sub. I love married men because I know where it begins and ends. Pants off, pants on, and back out the door to his miserable wife. I get off, he gets off, and we get on with our lives. I keep my feelings in check which is easy because the foundation of our arrangement is built on 1)lies (bc he’s a cheater) and 2)fantasy. I’m usually the one that has to remind these married slobs the shine will rub off, this is not everyday life. Unless you are already married and in a DS relationship. After 1 month I’m the one who usually gets bored like you said, married men get caught up and the attention is not there. I’m fairly new to this lifestyle. I’m also a medical professional and I’m a mother. I don’t need love from a married man! All I want in life is good sex with someone who understands my submissive side, to be the best mother I can be, and to further my career.

Bam how fucking awesome it that, like a Black widow use and then go in for the kill..

Remember you got to be safe , you have to think with a clear head, you have to ask questions and yes even ask for proof. If you meet up with someone and you have not told anyone if something happens then it is all on you…..

Make that safe call, take a pic of his tag , find out where he works , where he lives, where he hangs out. This is you’re right…

bestslavetraining.com is an awesome source for information…. Check it out

NCSF Has a ton of legal information when it comes to the lifestyle check it out.

https://www.ncsfreedom.org/

Vile

Do You Really Need To Train Your Submissive ?

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive blank canvas, submissive or slave has rights, sucking dick with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The truth is , no you do not. I know this sounds weird coming from me, but in a real perfect world no training is really required.

Many of you who are in active relationships have really had no type of formal training. Having no training can be okay and find if you are in the right hands.

Now you ask me how is having no training possible and being in a D’s relationship even possible ? How can a D’s relationship work with no training at all?

To train someone is to change someone into something the Dominant wants or needs. Training can be mild to extreme. Training can be very loving, or it can be very hard and strict. That would mainly depend on the Dominant or Master.

If you are truly a Submissive and you have the need to serve, in the right hands no formal training is really required.

Here is my thoughts and my reasoning. You have a lion who gives birth to a cub, once the cub is old enough to learn how to hunt it already has the basic instincts. What the cub now needs it for the lion to teach it how to use the skills it has already.

Okay maybe not the perfect analogy , but if you think about it, it really fits my explanation.

So you being the submissive already know your submissive, and you have the need to serve, be it sexual or domestic or both. What you need is someone who is capable of fine tuning those skills.

A lot depends on the submissive during this growing and learning process. It depends on how honest you have been, it depends on how much you want to put into the relationship , it depends on how much you truly trust your Dominant. It depends on the bond the two of you have formed, but more than anything , How much you want to serve.

See you already have the basic instincts , you already have a vision about what type of relationship you need. The key is finding the right partner, someone who can make you complete.

Many of you I am guessing are not really open to any type of training, your not really interested in being trained. You just need a Dominant figure in your life. Someone who is just going to take control, and lead.

The truth is everything will just fall into place. Everything will just seem so easy, and if continued the transition will be very smooth, and it is something you will not even really notice.

You can meet a new Dominant, which is what you all want. He may say he has 5, 10 or 15 years experience when in fact he has just read 50 shades of grey. This is not always a bad thing if the Dominant has the right intentions, and he to is looking for a long term relationship. Most Dominants who are new and have never had a submissive will never admit that , while I can understand those thoughts it is not really fair to you the submissive.

He will also state that he will train you, but once you have agreed to enter the relationship training never takes place, mainly because he does not have a clue, and you do not say anything because things are moving smoothly.

The only time you should be concerned is when he says lets start your training while he is unzipping his pants.If he tries to give you rules on the first meeting, some rules are okay, if they really benefit you, such as a new bedtime, or maybe a change in diet, but nothing should be sexual at this stage of the game.

If you benefit from just having that Dominant figure in your life with no rules, or task, even protocols then so be it, but you have to make sure your needs are being met, on all levels, and you should never settle for anything less.

The most important thing in your relationship is making sure your needs are met. If your needs are being met,then you are in the right place. If they are not you have the right to question. You have the right to know why you are giving so much and not getting back in return. You have the right to know what steps are going to be taking to make things right, and a time line.

You cannot give and give and get nothing in return, it does not work that way for you and if you allow it to it will not work for long.

You should always come first no matter what, that should never be negotiated.

 

focused Stay Focused, and learn everything will just fall into place.

Vile

We Are Master And Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, commitment, communication, MAST, Masters And Slaves Together with tags , , , on June 18, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have never said I was better than anyone else, I do not roll like that.  In the lifestyle I have posted before about the BDSM Tree of life.

From Daddy Doms and Baby Girls, Dominants and Submissive , and to Master and Slave. Still we are all different, the depth of each relationship is different, and the responsibility we want to take on is different.

I have spoke about rules as well, how rules are suppose to benefit, to help provide stability, structure. Yet when I go to different profiles on fetlife, and some blogs on here I see most rules are sexual.  Again everyone is different, our needs are different.

Needy comes on different levels as well. Some Baby Girls, are not needy, the same with those who are submissive and even some who are Slaves. The needy factor changes from each individual

Okay so Arianna is needy, okay so Arianna is codependent I knew this going into the relationship. The fact is she is highly intelligent and has a degree.

We have a micromanaged relationship. That was something I had to mull over when she explained her needs. I had to really think it over and decide if I wanted to take on that much responsibility.

I decided that was a venture I would except, and for two years our life has be what I would like to call perfect. I have stated before we have zero Drama, we have zero Problems.

I am still no different than other Dominants we all handle things in a different manner. I am not better than any other Dominant. While I do not understand some you will never hear me talk badly of one, never fucking ever. I may disagree with some, just like some disagree with me.

I have had some Masters tell me I am being to strict with Arianna, I need to let up , give her some breathing room. Telling me how I should run my house. These are people who do not understand the dynamics of our relationship. These are the same who ask me how I do it. These are the same who asked me how I trained, but then when I start to explain and they find out it takes a little work the interest is gone pretty fast.

We were at a MasT meeting several months ago and the Moderator pointed us out, she said we were unique , I cannot see that but Okay maybe we are unique. In my mind your either Master and Slave or your not.

There are only two of us, I have spoke about our bubble, we have built something very strong, and we have mulled over the idea of bringing a third in, but nothing is set, as a matter of fact it was not even my idea.  Arianna brought up the idea after hearing several others speaking about poly at a MasT meeting. If we were going to do anything it would be a closed poly or a closed Triad. As of now we are doing very good.

We are Master and Slave 24/7. My day comes to an end when Arianna closes her eyes. Then I am able to kick back, blog or turn on the TV. I am up with her every morning at 3.40am we are sitting at the dinning room table with our morning coffee talking about the day. Then I spend 55 minutes with her on the phone, and my day starts at 8.30am and I work until 8pm , but that is going to change here real fast. During the day we are in constant contact.

Arianna also keeps a journal in the car and at home. We also are able to track each other on our phones, that was Ariannas idea as well it was her way of submitting more.

That is what I do I insure her needs are met, more so that is what I agreed to prior to entering the relationship. In the past two years Arianna has grown, she has evolved , her submission has grown, and I have been there through every step.

Arianna thrives to be perfect in two years she has been punished once and only once. Yet I have had Dominants tell me that is no way to live it would be to boring for them. I do not just sit and watch and hope she breaks a rule.

My back yard is clean, and I take care of my own.

Vile