Even at a very young age I was kinky , going back to 12 and 13. Then I enjoyed bondage , face fucking and anal. There is just something about a nice ass that rocks my world , more so being in a nice ass.
In my late teens while stationed in Korea , my first look into a dark world I did not understand but I knew I had a connection. Leaving Korea going stateside for a very short time then heading to Germany where I met Gretchen. Gretchen was up for anything and for two years it was like a 9 1/2 weeks. You would think after spending almost two years with someone love would of come up but neither of us used that word nor did it ever come to mind.
Heading back to the states I was even more curious , curious about something but I could not pin point it I just needed more of it. Most of the time if I went on a date it was a one time thing because if I got into her pants the real me came out.
Fast forward to the early 90’s and I met another Dom name Animel , the meeting him was just by chance and passing. While I lived in Daytona I would drive a cab part time during events. On any giving event I could make 3 or 4 thousand dollars. While sitting waiting on a call this old man pulled up next to me and struck up a conversation. It did not take long to figure out we had a lot in common and I knew he had a lot of wisdom to share. In a very short time we were like best friends and I found myself at his place just about every day. I would spend hours just listening to him about his life , relationships and why they failed..
At this time I had one thing on my mind and that was pussy. Back then yahoo was the best search engine when it came to finding someone. You could search other users right down to the city. Your search could include , submissive , slave , hair color everything. Then you pulled up their profile and off went a message.
Most Dominants place the blame on the submissive when a relationship fails , I find this hard to believe , because in my experience if the relationship fails it falls directly on the Dominant. One lying about who he was , two not willing to put any effort into the relationship and last not staying consistent.
I met Bee on yahoo how fucking awesome and our relationship lasted for almost 7 years and when we split yes it was my fault. After Bee I jumped from bitch to bitch , most ending in less than a week. Those that lasted longer than a week was only because I wanted the companionship. As humans we tend to settle for less just for the sake of having companionship. I met Bee about 3 months before my divorce , the entire 7 years I was married and miserable I might add , I remained loyal. I remained loyal because while most might disagree I had some morals. The marriage was a mistake and I had to own it. Prior to getting married I was in a long term relationship with a little Korean who danced for a living. This was a relationship that lasted 7 years or so and she ended up moving back home due to her parents health.
Being a Dominant is not a part time job , nor can you train a submissive or slave on a part time basis. So ask a Dominant or most how they train ? Ask a Dominant about his protocols and you get a blank stare. The training question never gives you a answer or a answer I got from a Dominant last year when he stated he was training a new submissive , of okay what is your training techniques ? The answer he was was uh you know the usual. Yes really that was the answer.
You as the Dominant you have to sit down and figure out not only who you are but what you want out of a relationship. Again a part time Dominant only gets part time submission and nothing more and if you expect more you are just living a fantasy and nothing more.
To train someone you have to have a clear understanding of what it is you want out of life. How do you picture your life? What type of submissive or slave are you looking for ? What amount of control do you want in your relationship?
If you are already in a relationship or even married the partner you are with can be trained , and can be trained and in most cases not even know it. It is much easier to talk you your spouse than to look elsewhere , unless you are upfront about your plans.
Back in the day I was pretty wild , heavy into pills , I smoked more pot than I can remember . Germany was good , I smoked Hash and a lot of beer , I love beer.
After I exited out of the Army and I lost my first two jobs I knew I had to do something and I just quiet everything cold turkey.
The lifestyle I knew I was different but I could not pin point what I was feeling or the way I was thinking. I knew I was different and I also knew if I wanted to find a partner I needed someone like me. It did not take me long to be able to recognize those who were submissive , but I was not looking for anything long term , just someone for the weekends.
Years go by and I began to feel like I was missing something and that was someone to come home to. I lived with several knowing all would be short term but I had company and I was able to get my kink on. I have never allowed clothing to be worn inside the home and getting dressed when company came over it depended on who it was.
At one point in life I tried to change , I truly thought I was missing out on something so I walked away from the lifestyle and married Vanilla. I wanted the house , the dog and kid but little did I know I would spend the next 9 years being miserable. I have made a few mistakes but this would be a mistake I would pay for 18 years.
I was married for 9 miserable years , and I paid for it and in the end I walked away with a son who was barely 8 years old. I left a house and a shit load of money. During my marriage while being unhappy I remained loyal. I did not step outside of our marriage because when I married her I made an agreement. I am a man of Morals and integrity , if I give you my word you can take it to the bank.
My life has changed over the years and for the good. It is a different feeling when you own someone instead of just the thought of being married. In my head the responsibility is much greater. You not only own , your decisions affect someone more because your slave looks not only up to you, but follows you through good and bad. We as Masters making the setting. I tend to think things out more logically , thinking of the consequences as well as the good and bad.
You have a slave who depends on you to make the right decisions , you own a slave who has the thinking you have their best interest in mind. Our fuck ups can have a rolling effect , mentally and if you continue to fuck up there will surely be a loss of respect.
We as Masters cannot continue to make mistakes and expect to be looked up to , or even expect someone to follow our rules.
Our slave must be our main focus , our slave must come first even before family and friends.
Today my life is perfect , and many when I explain just how my life is I just get a blank stare as if my story is unbelievable.
I want for nothing including sex , sex is always on my terms. Sometimes I tend to get relaxed and I start taking advantage of the girls and tend to take more than I am giving back. When I speak of giving back that would be communication and just listening. Arianna gives me a little reminder and I get back on track.
The lifestyle has made me more responsible for my actions , I think things through before action. I never put more on my plate than I can handle.. In my relationship Arianna come first even before family , Lynn comes first as well. I think that is a huge mistake Doms make not putting their property first…
I have grown calmer over the years and I came to realize there is nothing really to get angry over. Why would you yell of abuse someone who lays on their back or sucks your dick? I learned long ago to think before I speak , it gives me time to process my thoughts and words.
You want the world but you are not willing to put any effort into making the relationship work. BDSM is so much more than having someone suck your dick , then you get angry when things do not go your way. You make unrealistic demands , demands you would not do.
Your Property comes first no matter what , before friends , before family and if you are married and seeing someone the man up and leave because you cannot give 100%. You as the Dominant cannot expect full time submission being a part time Dom it does not work and in the end you will lose.
We as humans tend to settle for less than what we really need , this is called pussylitice , your dick is your brain , depending on your Testosterone depends on how Dominant you are.
You can have the life you want but you are going to have to work for it.
I love the analogy. In my life, I find that when the focus is on my Master, other things seem less important. There’s a freedom in prioritizing ones life in one direction. There’s always an answer. I wear an engraved bracelet that states, WWMD, ( what would Master do?). This reminds me that my actions both public and private reflect my submission. Another bracelet is engraved, VKA, Vile knows all. This isn’t because he’s egotistical but because in my submission there are no secrets. My likes, needs, wants and desires, even thoughts are to be known to my Master. I strive to be complete in my submission. My submission is no longer mine to give but once accepted it became a need. The need to continue my commitment to Him.
It was easy for me to walk down the path of slavery. My Master portrayed confidence, intrigue, intelligence, and insightful questions. He challenged me to look past my own definitions and become His definition. So, His needs became my wants. His wants became my desires. His desires became my goals. It was an AHA moment when I released my own vision of what slavehood should look like and adopted His. That was hard because I wanted to give more and more. I trust that although I need to anticipate His needs that He will not allow me to continue once His own definition of Mastery is completed. In other words, I had to let go of my ambitious ways that were intruding into His ideal vision and release my own desires and adopt His even if the picture was different.
The compass is a great picture of ones truth. The stronger the bond, the deeper the connection, and the freedom in adopting another’s life as their own is a wonderful achievement in my own journey. For us, it works and each day I can look forward to having a focus in the turbulent seas of life because I have found my compass.
Thank you
~arianna