Archive for Humiliation

My Dark Side

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, Consensual, Consistency, fucking,, I own every hole, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange with tags , , , , , , on March 4, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am like a perennial flower , you think I am gone , then Boom I pop back up.


I suppose we all have thoughts and most of us even have fantasies and the same with both , somethings are just better off left as thoughts or fantasies. Sometimes our sexual desires can even become dark , the art of controlling every move , tied up , with a hood , total darkness. I have a set of leather cuffs that was made just for Arianna , and I love chain , thick chain then pad locked. If you use rope if someone wants out bad enough they can do it , it may take a while but one can escape. The Hood I have is made from spandex but it has a blindfold inside , so there is total darkness. I believe there may be a touch of fear when one loses their sight.

I suppose as a Dominant we all at some point come up with what we consider to be twisted thoughts. I am not speaking of any physical harm , I do not like putting any type of marks or bruises on my property , I am more mental , I enjoy being in the head , all the mind fucks , the not knowing.

I have been thinking of like a breaking weekend , kinda like a kidnapping , of course part role play but the not knowing what will happen. Just using for a whole weekend not saying a word. A couple of months ago I made a nice spreader bar and have yet to use it , timing has been one thing it seems we are always busy.

I find a few things to be humiliating and one of my favorite is face fucking , man I love that gagging feeling , and that sounds like a song to me. While sex is not the most important part of a relationship , there are somethings that are important to me and one is oral sex , I have had many a blowjobs but have came across very few who were either really good at it or those who tried really hard and was just not there. Anal sex is very important to me , the reason it is about submission , submission in my eyes. I not only want every hole , I need every hole.

I have acquired a few toys one being something I have been after for a long time and that is a spanking bench , the other was giving to me is a really nice fucking machine. The machining is almost brand new and was very expensive when first purchased. The girls do not really care for it but I enjoy watching it being used.

I like being in control , I take that back I need to be in control , I am in control of not only my life , my surroundings , and if I make a mistake then everything falls on me. I am in control at work for the most and 99% of the time I get what I want.

As a Dominant you have to be able to separate your feelings , you can still care for and even love , but when it comes to using what is yours , you have to be in a different frame of mind. What happens often is a Dominant will start to feel guilty , the feeling of guilt when playing , you start to grow a soft side and when you do this it changes who you were when the two of you first met. When you change , when you let your feelings get in the way , your slave will be the first to notice the difference , the mindset of the slave will change and will start to push barriers. Once you lose control of the mindset , once you lose control , it is impossible to regain. The slave has already seen that soft side , the side of feeling guilty and there is no turning back.

Just as you train your slave , you the dominant has to train your mind , this is a mistake I made more than once and I always wanted to blame the slave. It is very important to lay all of your needs on the table when you start to negotiate the relationship , If you truly have a need for something do not give in , this just means the slave you have met is not the one for you. If you do give in , the subject will come up again at some point and you cannot go back on your word.

We take 1 we give back 5 , what I am talking about is the more we take the more we have to give back. We must remain positive and give positive feed back , we need to give that reassurance , we need to praise even at times when not needed. I express my appreciation all the time , even telling I appreciate everything you are doing after all it makes my life easier.

To train is to change someones thought process , make changes in ones behavior , make changes to fit your needs. The mindset of the Dominant who own , your slave is valued property. The slave is for your use , be it for service , communicating , or sexual. Lets drop the kink side of things for just a second. Once you are inside the head , you know what makes the slave tick , the thought process , why the slave does certain things , the decisions that are made , to include their interest , likes and dislikes , foods and movies , music. Days that are special , Birthdays , Holidays , places the slave likes to visit , you get to the point you know the slave better than they do , then and only then can you begin true training.

You pile on a bunch of senseless rules that has no meaning , except to worship your cock , or not allowed to wear panties or maybe a bra. Those rules have zero meaning , the only benefit you get is getting your dick sucked but that comes later because you want the slave to want to please you .

I am huge on Behavior modification but it has to be consensual , agreed on with both Master and Slave and it has to be a need for the slave , a true need.  The relationship needs to be consensual , there needs to be negotiations prior to an agreement. You do not have to explain what your training will consist of , or when it will start.  If you explain anything a rule , maybe a protocol you explain it in such detail there are no questions.

Just because a rule is broken does not mean punishment , after all there are mistakes. Life does happen , things get in the way , if there is a resistance to something talk and find out what the root of the problem is. If a rule is broken does not mean you beat the slaves ass or smack them around , you sit down and talk like two adults and find out what happened. My two favorite words are Choices and Consequences. There has to be consequences to ones choices , just as there has to be rewards for the good that has been done. If we as Dominants take one we give back 10 , if we take two we give back 20. We have to give more than we take.

I have thoughts , thoughts of just rough raw fucking , like maybe a rape scene , or kidnapping , long hours of bondage and humiliation. My favorite before anal is face fucking , probably the biggest rush for me , the control and at times the forcing.

Maybe I am not as dark as I thought looking back over what I have written , to me I am normal. I do know when you are in control you are making decisions for two or three depending on your home , but everything is on the Dominants shoulders.

I get pleasure from using what is mine , I get pleasure in using as I see fit to please me.






My Cocoon And Fucking

Posted in Arianna, ass fucking, ass to mouth, bdsm, Bondage, Dominant and Submissive, Humiliation, Rough Sex, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Throat Fucking with tags , , , , on June 28, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Some days I sit back and think about how it all started , how over the years I went through this crazy transformation, how I was different and did not really fit in.

I grew up with a very dysfunctional family , always fighting , I mean fighting throwing punches not me but my parents , real hand to hand combat. Addiction to pain pills and binge drinking and yet I still for the most managed to stay mostly unnoticed.

I had no idea where I was going or how I would turn out but I knew what I did not want to be and that was like my parents.

The age of I am thinking 13 we moved to a little hick town one of our many moves and I remember my first day of school the 6th grade. Meeting the principle and him walking me to my first period class. As the door opened to the classroom , my first thoughts were holy fucking shit ,what the fuck have my parents done now ? Crew cuts , cowboy boot , army style hair cuts and overhauls.

My hair was almost to my waist and I was thinking this would never work , now I fit in less. I was right for about the first 6 months , the guys mostly ignored me but the girls for the most was pretty friendly. Sitting in class who ever sat behind me would braid my hair.

I remember one of the guys making fun of me because I had been wearing the same pair of jeans to school for 6 months , again my parents were pretty much useless but at 13 I had to do something about it.

Right across the street from us was a restaurant called the Skyline Cafe a little mom and pop place that was always busy. I walked over one day and asked the owner if there was anything I could do to make a little money. The next day I was washing dishes after school making 2.01 an hour. I started at 2.30pm and worked until 10.30 and still getting up for school. At the age of 13 I was making like 90 bucks a week so it was time to make some changes.

Family Discount , they were good for selling clothes that were seconds , meaning when finished something did not pass inspection. In about 3 weeks I had a closet full of clothes.

At the age of 15 I went to work at a cotton mill , and I was trained to work on a thread machine, now I was making 4.91 an hour and soon 6 dollars an hour making more than either one of my parents. I was working second shift and still going to school and at home I pretty much stayed to myself , locked in my room with my Tv and Boom box.

One day this was a few years back I got nosy and while my parent were gone I went into their bedroom and started going through their stuff not really looking for anything. Then I found this box under the bed full of paperback books. I sit down and started reading and I was thinking holy fuck what the fuck? Books like the daughter next door , the Babysitter, but they all had one thing in common. They are all about nasty degrading fucking. Rough humiliating sex , face fucking , stretching the ass with massive cocks, pulling hair and yes bondage. I fucking struck gold , I took two of the books and off to my room I went. Jumping in bed pulling my pants off and just started reading and jacking off. I now have learned about the birds and the bees. I knew what sex was and , and how a girl wanted to be treated.

Over a short period of time when I first started working one thing I noticed that was different was my confidence it was off the chain. I had changed , I was more out going, more out spoken and could walk up to a girl and strike up a conversation.

My biggest thing was what was called leisure suits with bell bottoms. I had a different color suit for every day of the week , and silk shirts but lets not forget the platform shoes. I felt like a rock star and the feeling was good instead of walking there was somewhat of a strut.

Riding the bus home one day I found myself sitting next to a girl named Beverly , she was not that pretty but had a fucking body that would derail a train. Talking and she invited me over to her house one Saturday. When she answered the door my jaw dropped she was wearing this short tee shirt and nothing under although I did not notice until in her bedroom and she sat one the bed. Here was my chance to put everything I had learned to work after all from reading I knew everything about sex.

Spread your legs so I can see your cunt bitch, the look in her eyes was a true Kodak moment but she did, grabbing her hair and shoving two fingers in her going as deep as I could I started pounding her. Standing up I dropped my pants grabbed her by her and to her knees shoving my cock in her mouth I began fucking her. What a fucking feeling , what a fucking rush. It was like two minutes and I blew my load. Once I let go Beverly sat back and just said holy fuck. I pulled my pants back up and said I gotta go and I just walked out. That was the beginning of my travels , that was the change, that is what got me to where I am today.

The next time I saw Beverly we went into the woods but I had something different in mind , this times I had rope with me and I was looking for the perfect spot , the perfect trees. Ahh there we go I placed her between two trees and told her to get naked. Without any hesitation in a matter of seconds she was butt ass naked. Grabbing one wrist I tied it with rope and attached it to a tree, then the other wrist. Sitting back I got this kinda evil feeling running through me and I walked behind her and took my belt off, remember the books , I knew what she wanted. I stood back and grabbed my belt the buckle in one hand and smack right across her ass then again and again until her ass was blood red and she did not say a word. I walked up behind her puling her ass towards me just bent over a little dropping my pants and I shoved my cock in her pussy yea the first time. Fucking seemed like forever , I guess because my mind was racing, I pulled out and found her ass and right in I went, then it was only seconds I blew my load. As I was fucking her ass I reached up and grabbed her throat and squeezed tight that is when I blew. Stepping back and looking I was thinking what power , I just took what I wanted.

Walking in class I would walk up to her and tell her to meet me behind the gym at lunch. On your knees, I would fuck her mouth cum and tell her to go eat. She always did what I told her and without question.

The bad thing is girls talk so reaching high school I did not date very much. There were a few but those were short lived. One or two outings and I was just ignored until I met Shannon , Shannon was a small little chunky blonde who had a ass sent straight from heaven and there was one thing I knew I had to have it. She had very pale skin and deep blue eyes , very soft spoken , quiet . She like me was a loner we stayed to ourselves , so we kinda hit it off. She to was much like Beverly , but Shannon was different her and I actually talked , played games together you know fun stuff but the sex was fucking incredible I could do pretty much anything I wanted to. Our relationship lasted about a year, there was no bondage just straight out fucking. The mouth , pussy and ass , she really hated being fucked in the ass but she took it. I knew she did not like being fucked in the ass but it was not about her it was about me , so once again I was dumped but it did not matter because Beverly was my go to girl. It felt incredible because I had this sense of power over her. I could treat her like shit and she would come at the snap of a finger. Beverly was my first ass to mouth. Fucking her ass pulling out shoving my cock in her mouth and back in her ass.

As I said my parents were drunks , both took turns going in and out of rehab , both had been hospitalized for drug over dose multiple times.

I was getting ready to turn 17 and a Army recruiter came to our high school , while listening to the spill I had one thing in mind and that was get the fuck out. One friday the recruiter stopped by and picked me up and I went down to take a test , the next week at high school I was told I passed. So I left with a huge file getting home I waited till dinner once finished I started talking about going to camp. I had to talk early because one or both would soon be passed out. Summer camp is where I wanted to go so I put the papers on the table everything marked in yellow , yea just sign here and here and here.

That night I went to a phone booth and made the call telling him my parents had signed everything. October 14th the age of 17 the car pulled up in front of out apartment and off to Atlanta I went. Then a snag , I was like 4 pounds under weight what the fuck ? So I was put up in a hotel room across the street from the famous Fox Theater. 3 days I was fed peanut butter and banana sandwiches. On the 18th I was put on a train headed to Ft Dix New Jersey. I was in for a rude awakening , it was the first time in my life I had truly been scared.

One thing I had learned by then , life was based on two things. That would be choices and consequences.

A whole new life had opened up , once I finished Basic training I was off to Aberdeen Proving grounds. This is where I took a turn for the worse, smoking pot , taking pills and my first experience with Acid. Going to Titty bars at 17 being able to drink , I thought I was all grown up but it would take me several years to regain control.

Two tours in Korea this was my first experience with the world of BDSM I have posted a story about that. Then from Korea I was off to Germany where I met Gretchen , Gretchen was a beverly but only hotter. She had this goth nasty look. visiting a bar that looked like a cave, a singer named Nina was playing that night. Standing at the bar I turned and looked and I thought holy sweet jesus there is a god.  I walked up to her and she just looked at me and for the first time in my life I was speechless. I turned and walked away had a few more beers and walked back over and I just said you are fucking hot here’s a beer and she took it.

Gretchen was only 4’10 and weighed about 85 pounds , and always dressed goth, knee high platform boots with ripped stockings and gloves with no fingers. Jet black hair , and wore dark makeup.

Her and I would go over to a friend of mines place we would all be drinking , Gretchen laying across my lap and I would be fingering her ass , or have her suck my cock while we played cards. Going out when needing a taxi she would call at a phone booth and while waiting she would drop to her knees and blow me, she would even blow me sometimes in the taxi or at a bar.

Jumping ahead a few years I left the Army after serving 8 years. This is when I got slapped in the face. Still drinking , smoking pot and popping pills. Losing my first three jobs. Sitting down one night I thought to myself this is the same road my parents had taking.  So I fixed it I went cold turkey , took a month off to gather my thoughts.

Here I am today life is good and Ive calmed down quite a bit. Ive learned to control my anger. I now think logical , deep and hard before making huge decisions. Ive learned to love and not lust , although the lust does come out in thoughts.

I am now Married to my wife and slave Arianna , and our sister L life could not be any better. Last year my health started catching up to me and I had to make some drastic changes but there has been a huge improvement and it gets better every day.

Just a little more about me , much love to everyone who comes by and more so to those who comment. It may take a few days but I will reply.



Abuse Is Alive And Well

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Mentor, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Cheaters, Cheating Dominant, Choices, communication, compatibility, consequences, Dominance Through Intimidation, exploiting your slave,, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Slave, Submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile



May 19th



A small group of 9 attended the 19th meeting and the topic was abuse. Even though I lead the MAsT, Masters and Slaves Together. , if you are not familiar with MAsT check out the site.

Abuse many understood how abuse can happen in a D’s or M’s relationship some were still unsure.

Girl- L  who is an awesome friend helped facilitate the meeting and she came loaded with awesome information. I myself like to let different people facilitate MAsT meetings because it make someone feel a part of. We also get different point of views which is truly needed.

The meeting is held at our home , meeting in this type of environment allows people to speak freely with out prying ears. It allows people to relax and let go where as they would not in a public setting.

We also spoke about how abuse is just not about men but there are women who abuse as well , mainly through manipulation or known better Topping from the Bottom. Most of the time this only occurs if the Dominant is not experienced or very new to the lifestyle…

Many times the abuse can be stopped prior to entering a relationship with the right education and asking the right questions. The problem today is many are to impatient and do not care about taking the proper steps. Being active in the community is a huge step forward , making friends as well. I have a handful of people I actually consider my friend. However being active does not always solve all problems because there is a dick or a bitch at every corner. The thing is it does not matter what others think about you or how you should be living your life, that is unless they are going to pay your bills..

One thing about the BDSM lifestyle is everybody is right and no one is wrong , everyone has the right answer and everyone is wrong. No one knows what they are talking about, even on Fetlife everyone is wrong. The one thing i noticed is all the people giving advice about how your life should go are single more so Doms. So yes taking advice from someone who has never been a D’s relationship is the way to go..

Abuse when it comes to the lifestyle is a huge gray area and it can be a touchy subject for some.

I know I have been approached by Doms in the community asking me if I thought I was to strict on Arianna. I suppose this is the difference between a Master and a Dominant, a Submissive and a Slave, having rules and protocols or just letting your girl run wild, and having no consequences for their actions.

I run a very smooth home, I am strict and firm, but I do so without arguing , screaming, calling names or even getting physical. I have rules in place and they are followed, I have protocols and they are followed.

I am not a 9 to 5 Dominant , I am not a weekend warrior , I am not a once every now and then Dominant , I am 24/7 and no less. I take full responsibility for not only my relationship but I admit when a mistake is made. One thing Arianna comes first and always will , I will drop what ever I am doing if needed. A Submissive or Slave should have 24/7 access to their Dominant or Master and no less, there are no excuses.

Okay ive been ranting a little and if you follow me you know by know I get off the subject at times.

One thing that really irks me is when mental abuse comes into play. When a slave or submissive is suffering from depressions, maybe being bipolar , manic and the newly found Dom does not see the signs or maybe he just does not give a fuck. Having any or all of these symptoms can put unneeded stress on someone and cause more damage.

Many times everything is in the open but many times who ever suffers from such a  disease will not be upfront about their illness. Many are ashamed but more are scared of failing a new relationship.

I myself cannot even imagine how someone who is bipolar , come close to even knowing what their thought process is, or even how one makes it through a normal day , much less how someone would handle being tied down and beaten, or used sexually. I would not even want to comprehend the thought process, or how scared or confused someone might be.

On the other hand there are some aspects of the lifestyle in which someone could benefit from a D’s or M’s home , if it was based on more of a structured setting , where rules and protocols were put in place to be beneficial. Understanding ones limits and not trying to push that explore button.  Insuring they are on medication and on the proper medication.

Just to let you know I am not talking out of my ass I am speaking from experience. I am living in such a relationship. The beginning  was a rough start but 3 years later I am and we are blessed. I suppose the setting would be different if love did not play a part , I suppose it would be different if you were just being used as a fuck toy….

The above can only be accomplished if you truly know someone and you care enough to put any effort into building a lasting relationship.

Some of the most common situations when it comes to abuse starts out with isolation. Separating you from friends and family. Making you turn over passwords to all of your accounts. Emails , social media , not allowing you to speak with other Doms, and the most severe is your banking information.

These tactics are used by Doms who are insecure or new to the lifestyle. Many have anger issues and use fear in order to obtain your submission, verbal and eventually it will turn physical.

Being new it will take some time to catch on before you will see the abuse or something pay hit you , thinking Hmmm there is something here that is not right. You feel like you have no one to turn to, after all you have turned your back on all of your friends, but even then how would you explain such a relationship?

Female abuse happens often and this is done through manipulation, and it happens with a Dom who lacks experience. However there are times when ones judgement can be blurred by letting feeling get in the way of a D’s or M’s relationship.

I have written about this subject many many times and at times I get this fuck it attitude because the truth is maybe one out of a hundred even takes notice.

The signs are clear first is isolation from friends and family , making you give all passwords to your email and social  media and email. Constantly putting you down calling you names and telling you , you area  worthless bitch. At times taking your banking information.

The fist date is either a Denny’s or a motel and your training starts off with you sucking cock. You get to see your new Dom maybe once a month if your lucky, or maybe more often to suck cock. The first date is the only date you are seen in public with him, unless your dumb enough to invite a total stranger to your house.

When you ask a question or question the way the relationship is going you get yelled at.

You the s;ave the submissive should have 24/7 access to your Dominant no questions asked. If you text you should get an answer , but most of the time it is days not minutes.

Most of the time you know something is wrong but you have it in your head he is the one, there is no one else who can fill his shoes , or should I say diapers.

You know I am not so sure it is abuse at times , I think it is more on the side of the Dom not knowing what they are doing. Many do not understand the amount of time it takes to develop a new D’s or M’s relationship, or most may not want to invest the time it takes, or some may not even consider the needs the submissive may have. Many see the relationship more as a maid service or just a sex toy but it runs much much deeper than just a piece of ass.

Ive had many new Dominants tell me they want to talk and spend time with me, and after I agree I hear nothing else from them.

There are those who are just male chauvinist pigs who see a bdsm relationship as a open door to abuse and just use and toss away until they have that need again.

After 3 years I am still finding it takes a great deal of time and communication.. I get to a point to where I have to alter things such as protocols or rules , I may have to add or take away. Both of us sit down and go over the rules to see if they still apply or maybe make some changes, maybe head in a new direction.

Only you the submissive knows what you need and you need to have a plan and know exactly what you need out of a relationship. Because a mistake made more than once is a decision , and everything falls on you if you allow yourself to continue to be unhappy or used…

What kind of Dom are you looking for ? What type of submissive are you ? Are you a slave? If so a Daddy Dom would not fit your needs. Are you a Masochist ? Then a Daddy Dom is not going to work.

You need to know who you are and what you need before you can begin your search.  Just because a Dom contacts you does not mean he is the one for you…

Last you need someone you can talk to , someone who understands you or at least tries, you need to have an outlet when something is not going well….

Again a Mistake made more than one is a decision..

There are those who crave to be used for what ever reason , those who continue to fall into the same trap, and just sit around wondering what has gone wrong or blaming others.. life is based on two things and only two choices and consequences .

Then I have to rag on the married Doms who are married and they cheat on their vanilla wives who know nothing about the other side of their husband. The wives who believe they have built the perfect home. Let me tell you something a man has what he has because of his partner , be it a vanilla wife a submissive or slave she built the kingdom.

He will talk about how bad she is and how he plans to leave her, she is a bitch and does not understand him, there is no communication , she takes no interest in his likes or hobbies. She is a total bitch.

If she was really so bad he would of left long ago. However maybe if this so called Dom had communication skills and really tried his wife who built his kingdom might be open to a little kink.

Instead he finds someone like you, who will take his bullshit , who will take his verbal abuse, and physical abuse. Someone who will take his humiliation, someone who wants to control you but he is controlling not in control. Someone who takes it up the ass because his wife will not…

Your a piece of ass and you will lose every time. You would cost him to much money if he left not to mention if there are kids involved… He is not going to leave the security he has the security his wife has built. You will do just fine until you become to needy and you will and he will dump you because you have become a liability.

While I was married to a vanilla for 9 years I never stepped out on her. I was in the lifestyle prior to meeting her but I was trying to change who I was. I wanted the house, the cars, the kids and the dog. My first month I knew I had made a bad mistake. Remember the choices and consequences ?

After 9 years I came clean about who I was and what I needed. I lost a house on the beach , two cars and a lot of money. I left with 1500 dollars in cash a canvas  bag full of clothes dirty and clean, and a beat up Yamaha 750.

My philosophy is if your not happy get the fuck out.. There is no reason to drag someone through the mud more so over something I did. I lied to her , I mislead her, I was someone I was not, and I made a fool out of her. I can say for the past 9 years I have paid child support every week and I have never missed a payment working or not..

You do not have to let someone drag you through the mud and in the end it will be your fault…





Giving Up Control

Posted in Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, Dominants,, Manipulation, Married Dominant, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Protocols, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, TPE, with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

My favorite new question is , What Are You Going To Do With Your One And Only Life.


Giving up control is a huge step, it is a step that should be given much thought , and the one deciding factor is how much control do you want to relinquish.

Once you have decided everything it is time to look for the right Dominant. Dominants come in many different flavors. Some are gentle and not so strict, some are very strict. Some enjoy inflicting pain while others do not, some punish while others do not and yes some even lie and I am going to give a very good example….

Giving up control is no easy task, the one thing you have to look at when speaking with a new Dominant is if your going to be able to comply with his demands, his rules and so on. This is not a decision that should be made at the time you are talking about everything, this is something you should mull over……

When talking to the new Dom you need to know what questions to ask, is he a 24/7 Dominant , or is he just a bedroom Dominant ? Is he just into the pain side of things ? Questions are important because if you do not ask you could find yourself in a bad situation.

Training your Baby Girl your submissive or your slave is actually a form of behavior Modification , I have spoken about this before. Changing ones thought process, habits, dress, talk, walk everything. When I was younger I did not really understand the process , nor did I care I found it to be much more work than I was willing to take part in.

It is possible for a D’s relationship to just fall into place with no formal training at all… You have to find your own fit, your own kink, your needs.

My check list , we all need a check list when we are looking for a partner in the lifestyle, I have spoken about this before. Once you put it on paper it should be LAW.

I did however change my stance on the type of relationship I was willing to enter, but as far as my needs I did not bend.  Arianna explained she needed a Micromanaged relationship, someone who could keep her in check, keep things flowing in the right direction.

Living a D’s or M’s lifestyle is different for each, the definition is different, I get it. Everyone should be happy and be in that place, that comfort zone , the feeling of security.

I am far from insecure but I do need that feeling of security, I need that closeness , the communication, and yes the control. I want to control my world and my surroundings. I keep everything in check.

My list I showed when meeting prospective slaves was not really that long, but to some it was not attainable. When explaining my list if the word NO or I cant came up , it was simple the conversation was over , I refused to bend because if I did I knew down the road I would not be happy..

There were things I was looking for in a slave, there were specific things I was looking for. It really had nothing to do with looks , it had nothing to do with what kind of job they had. It was the person , the personality ,  how sincere they were about the lifestyle , how sincere they felt about who they wanted to be and needed to be. With me personality plays a huge role , if we can talk to each other and not at each other then we are good. How serious they were about their training , how entering a relationship would benefit us both ?

Giving up control is something that happens over time, the more you communicate , spending a great deal of time together, taking the time to learn about each other outside of BDSM . As a submissive the closer you get the more control you are naturally going to give, and this will happen without thought..

The only factor that really comes into play is you giving up control to someone who has your best interest in mind. Someone who is going to dedicate the time to spend with you.

Submission is not a game , to some Dominants submission is a game such as the part time Dominants I spoke about on my last post, the weekend warrior, the married Dom cheating on his wife. It should not be fair when you the submissive are the only one taking part in such a journey.

The game is using you, humiliating you , hurting you physically and mentally , ignoring your needs without a care , and you sit there alone wondering what you did wrong. Your relationship is based on you sucking cock , sending videos, and pictures so the so called Dom can get their rocks off.

I was reading in a forum not long ago about Red Flags, how many red flags do you allow when you first meet a new Dominant? I was surprised at the answers , some were 2 some were3 even up to 5 flags before ending the relationship. My thinking is any type of flag , be it something not adding up or you catch someone in a lie. If someone lies to you once they will do it again.  A flag is a flag.

Another Scenario that takes place , prior to entering a relationship you think everything is flowing in the right direction.. Then you find once you have committed yourself things begin to change. Things are not what they were , now it seems you are in more of a vanilla relationship than a D’s or M’s. and when you question , you get well I am in a slump or everything will be okay.

As you read in the Part Time Dominant , being a Dominant requires a great deal of work, it requires one to be consistent , in control, insuring rules and protocols are being followed.

What do you want to do with your one and only Life ? How long do you wait for the relationship you were promised ? How long do you go along with the communication break down ? How long do you endure the abuse in a relationship? Your scared because that is how you were made to feel, your insecure because that is how you were made to feel, your not good enough for anyone else , because that is how you were made to feel.







Are You Consenting Or Are You Just Agreeing ?

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, choices and consequences, communication, Consensual, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, consequences, control, Daddy Dom, Dominant, Dominants,, masochist, Master, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

The words Consent and non-consent has been coming up a lot in the past month or so. Our lifestyle is probably the only Lifestyle where we need to talk about Consent, the do’s and the Dont’s . What can be done what cannot be done and what we are open to, and what is off limits.

When we are talking to someone be it a Dominant or a submissive , one of the topics that seem to come up early on is what are your limits? The limits question was something I stayed away from until I knew we could make it as friends. Because if we had nothing outside of the lifestyle in common why would I want to enter a relationship if the only thing we had was sex. Kink and sex only last so long, and all your doing at that time is filling a missing void.

So the common off limits are, no blood , no children, no scat maybe no golden showers , the list can go on and on. The thing is what ever limit you have you need to stand by it.

Many times when meeting someone we tend to get caught up in the moment , this is the one, he or she has to be the one, they know what they are talking about. That is not always the case. More often you are being told what you want to hear, your being told something that is so far from the truth but you buy into the words and not the knowledge. Once you figure  things out it is to late because your already caught up in the relationship. Once you agree to something it is almost impossible to retract what you said or what you agreed to..

I am not into Humiliation, and the Dom will say we you don’t really know because you have not been trained.  Or I do not do anal sex, well no one has done it right I can make it feel good. Everything is about consent it is about coming to an agreement and hoping to have the chance to enter a long lasting relationship.

If your not into pain , or you don’t like being face fucked speak up, because if you do not , you are just agreeing and your not consenting. This falls under how much freedom your willing to give up, the rules your going to follow. Are you Monogamous ? Are you Poly ? These are all consensual questions.

Poly is a huge thing if you are looking for a one on one relationship, many times these types of relationships you are kept apart and never see each other. I had thought about poly at one time, but reality hit me, why not just find one who fulfills are of my needs rolled up into one. I am not saying Poly is bad its just not for everyone, so if you agree to a poly relationship and your not poly you are just agreeing and not consenting if that makes any sense..

Arianna and I had talked about having a closed Triad with another female, and being Bi was not a criteria. Bringing someone into our home, and when I explained to others it was not for me but would be a sister for Arianna some thought I was crazy, but it was not because I needed more flavor that is far from the case I get anything I want when I want and how I want it without question.

We communicated about the process and what would have to take place, it was 100% consensual. As far as a 3rd it did not work out but it is what it is no biggy..

The Bottom line is if you agreed to something but your not all in 100% then that is on you. Theoretically if I just wanted to bring someone in, I have that right because our relationship is consensual , non-consent  but at the same time I have to worry about Arianna and what the effects would be.

Believe me there is someone for everyone in our world , there is someone who will fit your needs. If you are agreeing in fear of not having a relationship your doomed from the start, it will never last, if you agree just because your in fear of the relationship not working your training will mean nothing just as earning your collar.

As I said in my last post , what do you want to do with your one life ? How much of your time do you want to waste on something that is not going to work? How much pain do you want to endure if your not a Masochist ?

It is not your Dom or your Master who will have to adapt it is you, so there should be a lot of thinking, we all make choices we just have to see if the consequences out weigh the choices.

50 shades






Training And Online Dominants

Posted in 24/7, Anal Training, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Online Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Long Distance Relationships LDR, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, slave, submissive, Training And Online Dominants with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 26, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I use to perv the internet a lot, as a matter of fact back in the day, yahoo had one of the best profile search engines on the net. You could go to profiles and just type in a word of interest. Submissive , Slave , Slut , Whore, and one of my favorites Humiliation. Aol had something close to yahoo but yahoo was the place to hunt pussy.

I would pour a big ass glass of Tea , crack my knuckles and go to work.  You could search all over the world, by state , county and city. It was just a total fuck search, maybe that is why yahoo shut it down…

Your looking to enter the lifestyle and your looking for a Dominant, today the first place to look is your PC or Laptop. It is easy a cup of coffee and Google.

Online training is noneffective and has no meaning. Most online Dominants are married and spend spare time when the wifey is not home sitting behind his computer jacking off.

It does not take long until the submissive finds out they are being used. Rules are just sexual self pleasure acts, sending pictures and lots of phone sex. Having you drive someplace in public and Masturbating, or told not to wear panties out in public.

The first thing your told to do is keep a journal, a journal the dominant will never read. A journal of your daily activity’s which to you have very little meaning because there was no explanation on why you should keep such a thing…

The self punishment for not sending nude pics on time, or taking to long to respond to a text…. Self punishment , spanking your pussy until you cry while on the phone with your dominant, clothespins on pussy lips or nipples for long periods of time.
Then you end up spending money you do not have on toys, dildo’s and vibrators , nipple clamps , ohhh and butt plug for anal training.

While the Dominant does have control , that control is very short lived, 30 , 60 maybe 90 days and at times a little longer or until that deep loneliness kicks in..

I have done all of the above. I have used and manipulated , and I have shared pictures with friends that were sent to me. I have told stories how some bitch double fucked herself with two bottles.

I can say Ive never sat in front of my computer and jacked off, I mean its okay but nothing like the real thing…

The Dominant thinks he is in charge but in reality he is just barking orders that have no meaning, and your gullible to follow them until you figure out he is just an ass..

I am not going to say that all online training is not effective because at times , and there are some online relationships that do work and last for years.
Those relationships are those where the dominant has put a plan in place, and works on getting you to him, or him to you. Then again this can fail as well. If you are not the one painting the picture, you never see the finished product until you get to your new home.. Someone can paint a pretty picture and fill your mind with what you need, but you need to know all and have proof before you decide to move 1500 miles..

Over the past ten years or so I have gone through some Major changes. Changes in what type of relationship I wanted, what I wanted in the future, and most important how I saw myself living in a M’s relationship…

Online Dominants are just that, very few have ever had a D’s Or M’s relationship, and chances are they never will… These are men or women who cannot control their own life much less others.

The Topping from the Bottom I spoke about this topic last week, it can be fun , or it can be the death of a relationship.. Someone had contacted me not long ago while I was talking about BDSM and depression. I truly believe a Dominant who suffers from depression , he has no business trying to enter a D’s relationship. Someone who suffers from depression even on medication can only handle so much…

If you are a submissive who is trying to convince a man who suffers from depression you are doing more damage than good, and yes you are Topping from the bottom..

Many online Dominants have anger issues, many use humiliation as a way to control, they feed off of your problems they feed off of your self pity, and your low self esteem. Kinda like a Leech , until you have no blood left , nothing left to give and your left out in the dark alone…

The reason online training cannot work in the long term is because a D’s or M;s relationship is so personal. The Intimacy is so deep , the eye to eye contact, the communication, and last but not least the physical contact.

Many have tried and tried and tried with the results being the same, making the same mistakes thinking the next will be different…

You the submissive has to set ground rules. I email you answer, I ask a direct question, I want a direct answer. I text you I want a text back, I call you answer, providing your not at work. Those are not unrealistic demands.


How Deep Is Your Submission

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, anticipation, Arianna, ass fucking, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, cock sucking, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, control, controlling, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Forced Submission, fucking, Humiliation, kinky, Lies, Manic, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Security, Self Pity, slave, slave no limits, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, Training Arianna, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was sitting on the couch the other day and I was looking at Arianna. I was thinking how fast time has flown by , but what I was really thinking is how lucky I am to have found the perfect Slave , partner and wife.
I cannot say I built our home I have to say both of us built our home. It takes two to build a relationship and it takes two to work together so it can continue to grow.
So for me to sit here and say Look at what I did , would be a false statement. I may of laid down the grown work but without Arianna it would not of been possible.

I am always very cautious of those who use the words I or me on a regular basis. Most who do spend a great deal of time bragging, about what they have done or accomplished.

I am a firm believer we write our own ticket , we decide where and when we are going to go. We are responsible for our decisions, we are responsible for our right and wrongs. It is us to sets the pace in our life and what happens. Now there are times a wrench gets thrown in and we have to back up a little, but staying true in what you believe and do unto others as you would do to them, hmmm did that come out right ?

Although there are not very many people I like , I treat everyone with respect. If I don’t like you I have nothing to do with you. I am not going to get wrapped up in others drama or problems , I have my own house to take care of.

Drama will eat you up from the inside out like a cancer. Drama can destroy your home , drama can and will destroy your relationship no matter who brings it in through the door. It is not fair to bog someone else down with problems. This does mean you do not listen or help a friend in need , but there has to be a limit. Once it becomes a problem or a burden to you , then it is time to cut the rope unless you want to go down with the ship.

Submission is a beautiful thing , It puts you in a peaceful state of mind , the feeling of freedom , the freedom of being who and what you are, and you only have one to answer to. Your Dominant is the only one in your life you have to answer to, well excluding work but you know what I am talking about.

Just like meeting a New Dominant , and being asked about your limits. Well if your new to the life style you really have no idea. Being in a secure relationship with communication allows you to explore that side of you. Maybe you had limits in place, which is normal but as you grow those limits will slowly fade.

On Fetlife I love reading post when a guy says, I am looking for a bitch with no limits. What he is looking for is someone he can abuse and degrade and feel okay about it.
Early last year I was chatting with a Dominant who was mad because his slave left him because she would not fuck who ever he wanted her to. It was his right to make her lay down for who ever. The bad news is she came back , I am guessing maybe a codependent thing , maybe the feeling of being secure.
Can you really love someone if you just pass them around to just anyone ? Your going to fuck and suck who ever I say, where I say and how I say. Can that really be love?

There are those who share , there are those who explore but that is generally worked out between the couple, and there is nothing wrong with that. I myself am not the sharing type, well with a male anyway , a female would be different , but only if Arianna brought it up and she has a few times. Then you have to think about what your going to catch. It is not like it was in the 70’s when you could go get a shot.

You plant the seed , you water it , you fertilize it and it will grow. The same with your relationship. In a relationship your fertilizer is communication , and honesty. This allows the both of you to grow together..

All the kinks , the bondage , the cock sucking , the ass fucking , even to some the humiliation , the control , the submission. All of this comes as you grow , the more communication you have the more you will want to try or do, the more you will want to please the one who is in control.

In a steady long term relationship the submissive , or slave has the need to please and gets pleasure out of pleasing or know they are pleasing the one they are with.

Submission is not something you can demand , respect is not something you can demand. You will call me Sir , you will call me master. Really have you earned that much respect? I just met you why would I call you Sir? Maybe because it makes your ego swell. Maybe it fuels the Dominant inside you. Maybe you should earn that right.

Calling someone Sir or Mam is a lot different when your doing it out of respect than it is when being demanded.

I like the game , playing the game of earning someones respect , then one I am trying to form a relationship with. I like the challenge , I like the finding out how , when and where. I wait for that one word Sir. Then I know without a doubt I have been on the right track. Once you have earned that respect you have a wide open road.

When I met Arianna , I was truthful from the start about who I was and what I needed out of a relationship. I explained everything is such detail she had no questions. I am like that about anything I explain to her. Before I speak I look at every possible question that could be asked , even before Her Training started I explained everything is such detail she had no questions about anything , she just followed.

Following was her greatest down fall because she is one to trust to easy , she thinks other she had seen had her best interest in mind, just as many of you trust to easy. Under the wrong hands it can turn into a bad situation.

Rescuing and submission is not a good combination. You never as a Dominant want to be put in a situation where you are rescuing someone. Many times these are the ones who are wanting you to step in and clean up the mess they made. It is not that they cannot fix it , they just do not want to put in the time or resources it takes to fix.
Entering a relationship many do have some problems and some have problems they have no idea how to fix. If you feel you have a good chance in a long term relationship then it is okay to step in and handle a few things, just make sure your not on the Titanic with a bucket.

I told Arianna , I want you to be able to anticipate my every need. I want you to know when I need something. This was confusing to her at the start of our relationship. She asked me how am I suppose to learn all that , it seems your setting me up for failure?
Watch me and listen , that was the first 90 days of her initial training , and I can tell you the first 90 days was not a very easy task. Training is not made to be easy.
She watched and she listened and to this day she is on top of things. She is because it is a need for her. Her knowing she is pleasing me fuels her submission.

Knowing when someone needs down time is very important , knowing when someone has had enough and they just need time to let their mind go. This is something huge I believe in. Allowing Arianna down time , to see family and friends, taking her shopping. This place a huge role in supporting her.
You know at times Arianna gets somewhat Manic , that is her I accept her for who she is, but there are times you have to let the manic run its course , because slamming the breaks on something could do more harm than good, so I let out a little rope and if a mistake is made I fix it, not that there has ever been something drastic.
Knowing your partner means the world , knowing when to let a little rope out does more help than bad. Being there to pick things up , insures your partner you have their back.

Male insecurities , the two words that start almost everything argument , is what’s wrong ? These two words do more damage than anything , because it is not asked just once or twice especially is the answer is nothing. Then if the answer is nothing there has to be something wrong, so that question is just hammered until something is made up. This all comes back to the down time. Sometimes we just need to vegetate , think , let our mind go and just chill.

Who are you seeing? Are you cheating? Are you talking to anyone else? This means one or two things , the Dom you are seeing is very insecure which is not a good quality when it comes to a Dominant or he is the cheater. 99% of the time the accuser is the one who is stepping out , so then you need to ask him those same questions..

A Dominant who demands your passwords to all of your accounts that is a security problem as well as an ego problem, not to mention a lack of trust.
It cracks me up when these married fuck tards who are cheating on their wife does not trust their submissive. They cant be trusted but they cant trust the other one they are with. How fucking stupid is that? Fuck Tard was a nice word by the way.

We all choose our own path , you just need to make sure you are traveling down the right path , and you need to know your partner has your back..