Archive for Slave

What shall we talk about?

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on December 12, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Any Ideas?

My Slave Arianna’s Blog

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, Dominant, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on December 3, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2017/12/02/journals/

 

Two different people meeting at a time of need. Both searching for something , she had a idea and I knew what I was looking for and refused to settle for less.

Her very first real Master turned out to be a total disaster , the not knowing can get you into a lot of trouble.

Her first Master was somewhat abusive , no real communication , when she visited weekly much of her time she was chained, which I see no real problem with. If times were different she would be chained most of the time but hey I gotta eat. No real formal training and a lot of blow jobs. He was much older than she was and his health was not the best. A chain smoker with a temper.

Announcing the breakup the dude lost it , the losing control , losing his slave and not knowing why.

Then Vile stepped in we were introduced and it was game over for the chain smoker. Okay I smoked as well but had a plan on stopping which I did with the help of my little E-cig. Arianna did not smoke so it was not fair to her. So three years ago I quit again with a little help but I quit after smoking 38 years. Hoora for me.

We are two different people Arianna is much smarter than I am she has a degree , while I have a degree in street smarts. She listen’s to mellow top 40 and I am more of a AC/DC guy. Arianna is quiet and reserved and I am loud and obnoxious. I embarrass her a lot, and the word fuck is my favorite word and I guess I use it at the wrong time and the wrong place , but I am working on it I promise.

Talking to a Dom a couple of years ago after a MAsT meeting while standing outside he called me the luckiest mother fucker on earth , he said it was like a miracle fell from the sky right into my arms. That statement rings true still today.

Reading Arianna’s journals gave me a greater knowledge of who she was and what made her think the way she does. I grew to know her feelings and emotions , as well as the true woman she was. Her journals were deep and at times I had to  re-read so I could gain a full understanding.

Her Journals gave me a different view on how I would approach her training. What works for one slave will not work for another, the same goes for rules but protocols are mostly the same. While personalities change my needs do not. In the beginning of training it was made clear what my needs were and what I expected out of the relationship and what I expected out of a slave. I also made it clear I would not bend or give in when it came to my needs being met.

Getting inside the head , I have mentioned this a lot in my past blogs. Having a full understanding of the slave. You have to truly know someone before you can begin training.  When I speak of limits for the most I am not speaking about pain but limits when it comes to a mental aspect. How much one can take or if I need to move at a slow pace. Remember you are changing ones thought process , you are changing habits , you are changing all habits.

Once I started training I did not inform Arianna it had began I just started and over time I could see the changes , the positive changes that was happening before my eyes. Just sitting back and watching someone who is willing to conform to someones needs it truly incredible.

One of my main requirements is for her to get a full 8 hours sleep. Sleep is very important and more so if you are taking any type of medications. Sleep is important to the mind and body. A well rested slave is a good slave , more so if the slave has a full time job.

Training you are taking away ones free will , the way one eats , sleeps , walks and talks, the way one sits. You are changing the way someone dresses , makeup and hair as I have done with Arianna.

Most want the submissive or slave to start writing a journal from the start of meeting each other. I do not believe this has as much impact as those who have been writing. What is being written is what the Dominant wants to hear again this is just my thinking.

A deep look in ones mind , reading the good , the bad and the ugly. Truly knowing someone , knowing what makes them happy or sad, likes and dislikes.

In our way of life , there is no greater bond known to any human. There are however exceptions to any rule. Looking back at my Aunt and uncle on my fathers side I saw true devotion , and the greatest love for family. A great man who would do anything to provide for his family.

Arguing with your Slave is the worst thing you could ever do as a Dominant. This gives the slave a different side to you and the more you argue the more respect is lost.  At different functions I have asked people why do people argue? What is worth arguing over?  What is so bad that would cause one or both of you to blow up? Why would you as a Dominant or Master argue with someone who submits to you? By doing so that puts you on a lower level , that takes the dominant out of the picture , you are no longer a dominant your a pissed off man or woman if a Domme .

The journal gives you a deeper look being able to understand someones limits as I stated above. If you break it you have to fix it. If you break it and you cannot fix it you have really fucked up.

Make it clear from the beginning on how you plan to use your property , and remember training someone does not mean ownership , you should not be that advanced in the relationship , training is just that training. Training someone you are seeing if not one but both are a fit. Just because your a Master does not mean the slave you are seeing is the slave for you and it goes the other way as well.

Make it clear on how you plan to use, make it clear what you expect when it comes to sex and be very clear. Talk about pain , talk about humiliation. I am not as into humiliation as I was at one time but I do believe it is needed from time to time. Talk about protocols , put on paper. By putting on paper as with rules it gives a clear picture. Rules are good but protocols are much more important , protocols provides structure , and discipline and what is expected..

Arianna’s Journal is a good read check it out.

Peace out

Vile

Evaluating A slave’s performance based on service

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, Evaluating A slave’s performance, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Slave Contract, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , on November 27, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is something that pops up in my mind from time to time , I suppose its something like a evaluation report you would receive from your employer. This is something Ive never discussed with Arianna or Lynn as I really saw no need.

I have stated before if you are new to the lifestyle one of the best resources is http://bestslavetraining.com One of the first sites about the lifestyle and still going strong today. Also on fetlife Best Slave Training a very active group with good topics and discussions.

My evaluations are more mental and a way to see if I need to make any changes or maybe cover something in general conversation. Instead of just asking a point blank question , its usually whats on your mind? When asking a direct question such as , Whats wrong? When asking whats wrong it puts up a defensive wall many times causing someone to shut down. Then comes the guy who demands to know whats wrong when there is really nothing wrong and its world war 3.

I look at a couple of areas one is following my rules and the willingness to follow, two following protocols , three communicating , four making sure my needs are met in service and sexually.

Behavior public and private , I have set protocols for both and I expect them to be followed. Having rules that are written down makes a easy guide. Every night before bed Arianna reads her rule , that is the last thing she does before turning out her light.

The state of mind. The willingness to take on different task when asked without prior planning. The wanting to complete all task when assigned without question. Showing her loyalty to slavery both public and private.

The following is from.. http://bestslavetraining.com

Observable objective of slave training that can be evaluated – service:

The observable objective of slave training is proper service. A Master can only truly judge a slave by what his five senses reveal to him. Try as he may, he is unable to completely see into his slave’s mind and heart. This is one thing he must accept and be honest with him about. He can’t hear her thoughts or feel the emotions a slave feels. He can only observe her behavior and come to a conclusion about what he sees. Demonstrating proper behavior is the best way a slave shows her state of mind to her Master.

If you the Master feels you need to move in a different direction then having something on paper is the best way to go. We as humans are visual we take in the information we are looking at. Having something as a reference , something to look back on so the slave is able to take everything in. This also allows the slave to ask questions if there are any concerns or to just verify something.

The training of a slave is like reprogramming someones mind, for instance Arianna does not use the words I or Me, the words are replaced with your slave. When speaking with others she uses she or this slave. You train how you the Master expects the slave to act in public and private.

My evaluations have always been private to me and I have never sat either girl down and said hey here is your yearly eval.

I have rules in place for a reason as with protocols , this does not mean they are written in stone , I may see something needs to be adjusted but I will never change , I will never take a rule away unless I see it is no longer useful. I may add to a rule or stricter protocols but protocols are something I will never take away , add yes take away no.

My evaluation has been silent , and making adjustments when needed. It is not that there have been a lot of changes but change can be good. You may see you are getting into a routine and changes are needed to break up the everyday norm.

Part of my protocols are dress , how both girls are dressed when out. I myself dress nice, 99% of the time a nice button shirt and nice jeans, my shoes are off the chart. I hate to admit it but I have a shoe fetish. Both girls look like a million dollars when out. I take pride in my property. The slave is a direct reflection of their owner , this includes how one acts , speaks , walks , eats and dresses.

So my final grades I am going to keep to myself for now , not that there is anything that is bad or anything that needs improvement because right now life is Awesome.

You do not have to do everything I say , you do not have to believe in my tactics , or my training process , but I can tell you it works for me.

I am living the dream , a life with zero arguing , zero drama and zero problems. My house runs like a fine tuned machine. The girls do not argue either both communicate all the time.

Communication is very important. Dinner time no cell phones are allowed this is the time to talk. This is the time to speak about concerns this is the girls free time to speak.

This is a short blog more so than usual but I have been working on a new project. Hypnosis , I spoke about this a couple of years ago but now it is balls to the wall..

Vile

 

 

 

 

Journals

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, exploring your slave, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Rules, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave with tags , , , , on November 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

A peak into someones mind , their deepest inner thoughts. How they view life and the world , friends , family , the world. Personal feelings are shared good and bad. Thoughts are shared on the deepest level , and most times Journals are never meant to be read. Journals are a safe haven where one can go and at some point and time in life , they are able to pickup and read again and reflect about life.

The Journals can be a great advantage if read by a partner or a potential partner , unlike just sitting and talking , reading gives us a greater insight on how one thinks, what makes them tick, what is going on inside their head.

Many Dominants when entering a relationship will demand the submissive start writing a journal and many times not even reading. The Journal that is being written for the most is not real. What is being wrote is what the Dominant wants to hear again if its even read.

Seeking ones submission is about getting into their mind , what makes the submissive think the way they do? How life is viewed ? How they feel on a personal level? How they view family and friends? Most of the time the Journal has little to nothing to do with sex , which when a Dominant demands a journal sex has to be included. He wants to know your deepest thoughts when it comes to sex , to include any fantasies , limits hard and soft and why?

I was lucky when Arianna and I first met , she moved in with me relatively fast , I believe it was within the first 6 weeks of meeting. Yes it does seem fast but sometimes you just know.

One day I got nosy and started going through some of Arianna’s boxes and low and behold I found a box that contained Magic. Pulling the note books out I had stumbled across around 18 years of journals. Now at this time Arianna’s training had already begun and we were into about week 2 of training of the 90 days initial training so still a long way to go.

Who cares about the Pussy or if the submissive takes it up the ass or if they swallow. Sex should be on the back burner. What I have mentioned about sex that is part of training as well but there should be other goals in mind after all the Dominant is seeking complete control and ownership. You can train someone to suck your dick to your liking or fuck the way you like to fuck , but lets get in the mind.

You would think a potential Dom/Master would care enough to take a peak inside your life. You would think they would care enough to see where you are coming from. Knowing your habits , your likes/dislikes.

Prior to any type of training the one who is training must have a clear understanding of the one who is being trained.  The Dominant can lay out some pretty basic rules , such as bedtime , texting , emails all of which are forming habits , habits the Dominant may find useful but to dig in to some real deep training the Dominant has to know you inside and out.

Once inside the mind the Dominant has full control providing they do nothing stupid. Making unrealistic demands such as pics from work , or demanding nude videos if the submissive is not comfortable doing so. There is a fine line between something that is Ok to something that is just downright stupid.

Training is a form of Hypnosis , not only protocols but rules and followed are suggestions. Suggestions go a long way when training and note mistakes are going to be made , a lot of mistakes are going to be made and there should be room for error. As much as we would like to say we are perfect we are far from it.

If there are no journals on hand make a suggestion to start a journal , by making a suggestion there is no pressure for the submissive to start one. If they really care then the typing will begin or old school by writing. If the submissive does not care then your suggestion will go nowhere.

Once you the Dominants thinks you have a pretty good feeling about knowing your potential partner and you feel you have the ground work to begin training then move into the sexual area , note try staying away from limits asking one what their limits are really has no meaning because limits change over time , limits change with different partners , of course there are those hard unthinkable limits and we all know those.

Moving into the sex area of the journal to include fantasies , for the most fantasies are just that. Just because the submissive states she has a fantasy about being with another girl it may be just that a fantasy. If the submissive wants to be with another girl you can be sure she will bring it up.

The journal , what does one hope to get out of a D’s or M’s relationship ? Many are able to express more on paper than speaking face to face. Many are able to share deeper feelings than face to face.

Sit down with the submissive once you have read and outline parts that draws a interest and discuss what has been written. Once you bring out the information that has been provided then the submissive will feel as though they can open up after all you are sitting there holding the words that were written.

This now opens the door to sex and other kinks and yes fantasies. Now lets talk about bondage and maybe explore pain , sub-space.

After you have gotten into the mind the submissive will begin to open doors that were once locked.

Check out bestslavetraining.com This is an awesome guide to training your slave and good for new Dominants..

Vile

 

My Human Pet

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Consensual, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Human Pet, Master And Slave, Movie The Pet, Pet play, Submission, Submissive, The Pet, Total Submission, Training Arianna with tags , , , , on November 11, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I tend to be spontaneous , acting without a word , just doing. I find by just doing and not giving a chance to think I get a better response , or better than if I brought it up , talking about it . When I do that it gives Arianna a chance to think about what is going to happen. I like the spontaneous reaction , the not knowing. the not being able to guess , kinda like fucking she never knows which hole I am going to hit or maybe all three , she just does not know.

I guess one of the areas I lack in is affection , I am more verbal or a gentle pat on the head good girl type of guy. Most days I do tell both Arianna and Lynn how much I appreciate them because I do. I have schedules in place , Protocols and rules , task that have to be done all of which get completed , and this makes my life much easier.

As mentioned before there are no clothes allowed in the home unless requested and only if I approve. Sometimes I will grant permission but for the most I do not. Lynn I allow more so than Arianna.

This past Thursday sitting on the couch , Lynn was in her room talking on the phone , I got up walked to the closet and picked out a leash we use for our dogs, I walked over to the couch and had Arianna get on all fours and she did not say a word. I slipped the leash around her collar and told her to stay. I walked to the kitchen picked out a bowl put water in it and set it on the floor. I then grabbed a small piece of chocolate and I would use it as a small treat at some point.

Walking over to the couch I picked up the leash and said come on and still not a word out of Ariannas mouth. I slowly walked her , stopping telling her to sit and she sat with palms on her thighs, again come and slowly walking , stopping telling her to sit again sitting upright palms on thighs. At this time I gave her praise holding her head against my thigh rubbing her hair telling her how good she was.  Again walking her over to the bowl of water and told her to drink and again without a word she began to drink. Telling her to sit and again palms on thighs I fed her a small piece of chocolate and then there was a small giggle not a giggle thinking it was funny but a giggle she could not believe what had just happened.

Walking her back to the couch I placed her in front of the TV and I sat on the couch and used her as a footstool for a short time. Telling her to get up on the couch on all fours I began to inspect her , spreading her ass wide open and her pussy. The inspection is something I have started doing on a weekly basis. The idea of inspecting is to put her in a different frame of mind.

Just as with the pet dog it was to put her in a different frame of mind and it did. It made her feel closer to me , it also gave her a break , a break meaning taking all of the slave responsibilities off of the table giving her a sense of freedom. It gave her mind a chance to let go knowing I was there to take care of her and showing a different kind of affection.

The movie The Pet I really liked for the most the beginning was good and the story line was good. Seeking and training someone to be your own personal human pet , but towards the end the movie took a turn and then the human slave trade came into play, human greed came into play and the story had a very bad ending with the loss of his pet.

What I liked about Thursday was the no reaction , the willingness to just go with the flow, the no questions. What really surprised me was how well Arianna responded to the different commands and not giving it a thought.

My thoughts were correct it did put Arianna in a different frame of mind, her submission grew deeper and now the want to be led on a leash has become a want.

So there will be much more to come…

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Human%20pet

 

A human who sees them selves as a pet, Often a loved one such as a significant other being their master. Wears leashes, collars and are lead around by their master on the leash. Can be male or female.
The goth human pet and her fiance were kicked off of a bus because she wore a collar and leash.

 

 

Vile

Five Years Ago

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Building a BDSM Relationshp, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Total Submission, TPE, Training your submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , on November 5, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow fucking time flies , where the fuck the did years go?

Around November 12th five years ago Arianna and I met , two strangers looking for the same thing.  When introduced I felt a instant connection , I just wanted to listen and listen. I probed questions out of her just so I could listen more. The second meeting I knew Arianna was the one but I had a lot to prove. I could tell trust was going to be a huge factor. One advantage I had is we were both looking for the same thing.  We were both looking for a 24/7 Master/Slave relationship. When entering a relationship in our lifestyle its extremely hard to change someones ways if their mind is already set. Why would you the Dominant or Master want to change someone into something they are not?

I hate the word lifestyle , lifestyle has so many different meanings. You change your diet that is a lifestyle change. You change your job , that is a lifestyle change. So why cant we just say our way of life?

Arianna had been in two previous relationships and neither of them were good or healthy , so it was I who had to clean up the mess, it was I who had to get the bad taste out of her mouth , and it was I who had to erase all the bad and replace with good , this is why trust was going to be a huge issue.

I never really got the dating sites , it just seems like way to much work and then you really don’t even know who you are talking with. If you want to meet someone who has the same interest you do then get out and attend different functions. No ones going to see you , there is no sign up at Munchs that says all Masters and Slaves this room. Munchs or coffee’s are not sex parties , just a bunch of people sitting around getting to know each other.

One mistake we make a humans is we tend to settle for less. We do this because as humans we need the intimate touch of another. We need to know we are not only wanted but needed. Those relationships are short lived and usually only has has the feelings of knowing its not going to last.

I gave Arianna a collar of protection the second or third week , it was not a sign of ownership but to show others she was taken, to show others she was hands off.

Training Arianna was much different from my past relationships , I wanted to go much deeper than I had before. In order to maintain the type of submission you as a Dominant wants to achieve , you have to be on top of your game 24/7. You will find at times you may have to change things up a little. It is very easy to gain control if your slave is in the right frame of mind , but to keep them there is where the task comes into play.

Life is good…

Vile

Consensual Objectification

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship, Consensual Objectification, Dominant and Submissive, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Sexual Objectification, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , on October 30, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

A very touchy subject to most ok for some it can be good but very can relate but I shall explain where I am coming from and maybe you will agree or maybe you will not.

 

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person as a mere object of sexual desire. Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object without regard to their personality or dignity. Objectification is most commonly examined at the level of a society, but can also refer to the behavior of individuals.

The concept of sexual objectification and, in particular, the objectification of women, is an important idea in feminist theory and psychological theories derived from feminism. Many feminists regard sexual objectification as deplorable and as playing an important role in gender inequality. However, some social commentators argue that some modern women objectify themselves as an expression of their empowerment.

Here come the feminist , I can hear the roar , the abuse , the lack of caring , but yet will lack the knowledge of what I am about to talk about.

Consensual Sexual Objectification , just as entering a D’s or M’s relationship everything is negotiated and is done so both fully understanding what is and is not being consented to.

Being treated as a object , a toy , but with these thoughts comes cherished , valued , and needed. I will explain my thoughts.

In a M’s relationship love is needed , caring is needed , communication is needed , showing appreciation , showing you value the relationship. There is a but and a big but , in order to maintain a M’s relationship there has to be some sort of separation in the mind.

Master and Slave not boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife , you are Master and Slave. In our minds we use the term owner/property. I own but it is a consensual ownership. A ownership that has grown over the years.

Arianna and I entered our relationship as Master and Slave so there was no confusion on where we stood. As we grew and our minds expanded , Arianna’s thoughts  came to Owner/property.

My thoughts turned to sexual objectification , a body for my use. A body for my use as I wanted to , when I wanted and how I wanted. I no longer see a mouth a pussy or ass I see three holes for my use. Yea that does sound pretty bad , in fact many will see it as abuse.

So what is the definition of Master and Slave ? Does a Slave have rights or a voice ? Absolutely they do , they have the rights and a voice , the same rights and voice when the relationship was negotiated. Can the terms of the relationship be renegotiated ? Again absolutely  at the Masters discretion. I myself decide when the terms of our relationship can be renegotiated. There is a but and a big but. If there is good communication a good Master can see the needs of his slave. A good Master will make adjustments and many times without the Slaves knowledge and I have done in the past and recent without Arianna knowing.

Can Arianna sit down and say hey I am interested a D’s relationship or a Daddy Baby girl relationship , would I then make adjustments ? Absolutely not , we met I explained my needs and wants in great detail , I also stated I was not willing to change or renegotiate my terms.

The frame of mind when it comes to the Slave , the need to serve , not a want. The need to please the owner , not because one is being forced. One cannot demand submission , one cannot gain submission through fear , submission is earned and earned through respect. Respect is not giving , respect is earned as with trust.

I have learned in the past in a D’s or M’s relationship you can let your feeling get in the way. Maybe not wanting to enforce rules , or when a rule is broken , not wanting to punish. I have also learned physical punished is not always the best avenue to take.

My way of thinking there has to be a mental wall , a wall that separates your feelings in a relationship. There is a very loving and caring side but there is a side that can be a total Dick.

In modern times we all know you cannot own a slave. The way we live is a mindset , it has grown into a way of living. Kinda like changing your eating habits trying to live a healthier life. It is not something that happens over night , there are steps that are taking and before you can take any steps you have to have a plan of action  and you must follow each step in the order you meant them to be. Once all steps are in place you have to maintain that level of everything you have put into place.

The object or the objectification , looking at someone as object even while having sex. Although there are feelings , I have a wall that separates two things , one being love , and the other being somewhat cold looking at my partner as a Slave , maybe cold is the wrong word but there is a wall..

RAPE

Now before I continue I will talk about consent , non-consent. If you both agree to enter a relationship is rape possible ? Now in a D’s relationship is rape possible? What about a M’s relationship is rape possible ? Is it right to give consent to fuck then take the consent away? If being in a relationship and your looked at as being a object a consensual object is rape possible? Rape is probably the worst act of violence there is. A man forcing himself on a woman or man , or maybe a woman raping a man. No one who commits such a act should never see the light of day.

My point is how can one consent then at a later date take the consent away? I am speaking about any type of relationship. There is a but , there is always a but. If there is a case of abuse , physical , mental or verbal which can be mental as well. Then I believe consent can be taken away.

I get fixated on a word at times and the word I am fixated on is Objectification , I stumbled across a article and it made a lot of sense. I contacted the Author and asked for permission to use his material and was granted permission.

– Sir Vice
© Limits Unleashed 2017

http://www.limitsunleashed.com/sexual-objectification-pt1/

Introduction

In this post I will be sharing a preview of a workshop I’m giving to a few events on sexual objectification & training.  In this instance we are defining sexual objectification fairly literally, that being (a) the act of treating a person as an instrument of sexual pleasure; (b) broadly implies treating a person as a commodity or an object.

The caveat is that none of the above should occur without full and enthusiastic consent.  In other words we are paying careful and mindful attention to the fact that we are dismissing the third common definition – (c) often without regard to others personal dignity or emotional experiences.

As a result, sexual objectification play is much more suited as an activity within a defined scene than a part of a 24/7 lifestyle. This is due to the risk that a habit can develop where the Dominant forgets that the submissive must be a willing participant.

Clarification

Consensual sexual objectification is less concerned with the immediate feelings or experience for the sake of providing or achieving a sense of value through utility.  Participants in BDSM and the objectification kink cannot fully remove all elements of self-agency and responsibility without the risk of it turning into abusive and unhealthy behaviors.  As a result, even objectification still must be consensual activity, though it can be very blurry (i.e. edge-play and/or Total Power Exchange).

As a result, this type of activity requires invoking a certain suspension of disbelief in having this role insisted on or subjected upon the submissive or bottom even though they are a willing participant, has negotiated proper opportunities and boundaries, and can cease such activities with the appropriate safe word.

Looking Deeper

There are many types and variants on sexual objectification. Most often the focus is on the use or attributes which defines the object, versus the experience (since objects don’t have experiences).  Common types include:

  • Role: bimbo/himbo, personal slut, sex slave
  • Toys & Parts: fuck doll, live dildo, T&A, etc
  • Degradation: party favor, house slut, performer/entertainment

So what is the attraction?  First we must acknowledge that the benefits people receive in sexual objectification are quite subjective to those involved. That said, the most often expressed benefits include a clear sense of role & purpose (utilitarian); the feeling of being removed guilt or shame; and a lighter conscious knowing that matters of safety and care are left to the one in control.

Sexual objectification is often no different in other forms of objectification in that the submissive or bottom will often experience being “turned on by turning off” – shutting off the brain, silencing the chatter, and allowing themselves to go into a state of dissociation (sub-space) and just “enjoy the ride”.

Note how these benefits often are about subverting the sense of personal agency to the whim of another’s control as a means to fulfilling desires or fantasies.  As such, sexual objectification is a very focused practice in power exchange – the Owner of the object, and the owned as the object, which exists for the enjoyment and use of the Owner.

All Good in Theory

As with many elements of BDSM and fetish activities, much sounds like a good idea in theory. I have found this to be particularly true of sexual objectification.  Indeed, the reality of such play may be vastly different that of your imagination.  As a result, all parties involved need to be mindful that something can (and likely will) go awry in practice.

All those involved must be prepared to plan for setbacks and triggers, as such events are nearly inevitable, and adapt accordingly.  Change and re-evaluation is an eventuality, not a possibility. This is largely because of the potential emotional risks involved in any kind of edge play, especially ones that are deeply psychological.  Key risk factors and setbacks include significant disillusionment; the loss of confidence or security in the relationship; prior abuse & PTSD triggers; mismatched pace or desire of progression (rushing); or finding deep contradictions in core values & beliefs.

As such, it is extremely important to strike a balance between the rewards and risks.  All those involved must be adaptable and ready to recognize challenges and change to help address issues.  In some cases that means taking a step back, while in others it may be re-negotiation as new limits may be uncovered.  Only thoughtful communication and discussion will help you surmount these moments and potentially adjust to them.

Closing

Depending on how well this post is received I may continue with a “part 2” will be looking at a methodology which describes a framework for how to actually train someone in this role. If you want to see part 2 make sure you rate the post and like/share through social media so we know you want more.   😉

For now, I will leave you with the strong suggestion that many things seem like a good idea at the time, and are exciting to entertain within the mind or bedroom on occasion.  Taking it further, however, requires significantly more investment of time and attention to ensure everyone is on the same page.  This means careful consideration of needs, wants, and limits; constantly evaluating and communicating; and being very adaptable and forgiving when things go off the intended path.

That said, if you find enough common working ground, you can find deep satisfaction and excitement as you explore hidden needs and unlock them through sexual objectification.

Yes there is a part two , the information here is really informative. I ran across several articles but found Sir Vice to have very in depth information…

Sexual Objectification Part 2 Training.

Introduction

In my prior post on Sexual Objectification Pt.1 I provided a high level introduction to what it is, why people do it, and some things to think about in terms of starting your exploration.  In this Part 2 writing I’m going to dive more into the Training aspect.  How does one train a submissive (or prepare if you are a submissive) for sexual objectification play and conditioning.  The methodologies in the following are typically key elements in sexual objectification training, which in no way is standardized.  Everyone has their own way of doing things. The below is presented in order of what I have found useful, but is subject to interpretation and the fit and response of those involved.

Negotiation

Before you even start the training, you have to try to get a full appreciation of the page on which everyone rests.  If you haven’t read my post on Negotiation & Consent, I strongly advise you do so before proceeding.

 

To review, Negotiation requires active participation by all parties to constructively and collaboratively build a framework of success.  This means being able to openly discuss desires, needs, limits, and potential solutions.  Sexual objectification training should therefore begin with an assignment for all to outline a history of inspiration or desire for this activity – What influences brought you here to desire to explore this aspect of yourself?   Itemize the desires, fantasies, wants and needs in one list.  Similarly, you should also itemize potential triggers, traumas, restrictions, or limitations.  For both of these lists it’s important to then prioritize by “forced ranking” – meaning each category can only have one number one or top priority.  This helps to reduce conflict resolution between wants, needs, and limitations.

 

Only once this is accomplished can you hope to sit down to compare & contrast ones desires with the limits, both for yourself (no matter what side of the power dynamic you are on) as well as between those involved.  This is when you start to work to find solutions as a cooperative team with the goal of developing something that is mutually satisfying.

Planning

Once everyone has a common understanding and goal, it takes some planning to get there.  Achieving any goal or destination requires some degree of active planning, at least at a high level or outline format.  This is to help ensure progress is taken in measured steps, and that all involved are ready for the next step once signs are clear.  As in Negotiation, there needs to be ongoing discussion about readiness, comfort levels, and if the goals remain valid.  Remember that change is inevitable, especially as progress is made, and one has to adjust accordingly.

 

Execution and planning is largely up to Dominant/Owner in the relationship, having drafted at least a rough plan or road-map with Indicators that things are on the right track.  The submissive must provide feedback & input, so a calm “sit down” is required prepare the submissive mentally and help remind them this is something that they accepted and are actively responsible for choosing to support.

Intensity & Control

Once conditioned to respond, constant use becomes predictable. As such one needs to intensify use through building sexual tension, feelings of suspense, even lack of use.  One needs to disrupt the rhythm in order to add to the intensity.  There is no brightness without experiencing the shadow, so contrast is required to help highlight the response and value from use.  One can accomplish this with periods of abstinence, edging, ad hoc “quickies”, public sexual simulation (without release), and others.

 

This is a form of control via removing the submissive’s sense of personal agency and self-control. The more the submissive is likely to be used at any time, the more likely they become compliant and remain fully “on alert” and desirous. Of course, you cannot do this without slowly ramping up the level of control.  You can exhibit control through general appearance & dress, dictated use (when and where), forced orgasm, using some spontaneous variety and/or innovation, etc.   Essentially you want to get to a place that says the sexual object is to be used by any and all (negotiated) means, at any time or place.  Again, within the confines of the negotiated and consensual terms.

 

Note that the above introduces selective chaos by creating patterns and then disrupting them.  We break the pattern to add to the suspense, we add tension by adding measures of interruption or uneven rhythm.  The purpose is to stimulate desire while conditioning to be “always ready” since the when is never quite known.  While surprise can build anxiety, if carefully employed gradually over time, it can greatly enhance progress.

Assess & Revise as Needed

Pushing the envelope of progression too far & too fast will cause problems, setbacks, or relationship failures.  All involved need to keep communication channels open and have regular “touch base” conversations.  Avoid giving in to frenzy or over-ambitiousness and trying to speed things along, as this will often lead to a catastrophic failure.  Cautious pacing is needed, as well as the need to remain adaptable.  Sometimes a step back is required to evaluate where someone is emotionally, physically, or otherwise.  The more we respect the truth that everyone processes their inner world experiences differently and at different rates, the less firm out expectations are and the more flexible we can be to a given situation.  The benefit of being “soft” is that we can respond with grace under pressure and allow progress to resume, even if modified.  What is too resolute and hard in its ways will often break.

 

Bear in mind broken toys are no fun, and leaving wreckage is irresponsible at best.  If we can accept the reality as it happens, then we can manage the consequences more readily and appropriately.  Managing the consequences (versus the intent) means working collaboratively, being clear in communication, and honesty with yourself and with all others.  Other than just managing the situation, we have to show compassion – care for another’s wellbeing.  Keep in mind to prioritize safe & healthy practices which will not damage or harm yourself or others physically or emotionally.  Take care of yourselves, of one another, and remember this is only a Part of your life, not the whole of it.

Conclusion

Sexual objectification focuses on use & utility, and while very exciting a notion, it often can sounds better in theory than in practice.  Be very honest about wants, needs, limits & risks, and focus on collaborative negotiation constructively for everyone’s success.   Bear in mind this is a form of conditioning, so take your time, there’s no need to rush, and being able to move forward at all is better than having to abandon ship entirely.  Since sexual objectification training is like any edge-play, there are increased risks inherent – be adaptable, flexible, and able to change as needs arise.

– Sir Vice
© Limits Unleashed 2017

Any type of training takes time , the first initial maybe 90 days , then depending on your goal 8 to 12 months. There is a conditioning  a transformation the slave goes through and this is a slow process. The training never ends it is a daily activity , that comes with consistency.

Vile