Archive for Structure.

Do You Really Need To Train Your Submissive ?

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive blank canvas, submissive or slave has rights, sucking dick with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The truth is , no you do not. I know this sounds weird coming from me, but in a real perfect world no training is really required.

Many of you who are in active relationships have really had no type of formal training. Having no training can be okay and find if you are in the right hands.

Now you ask me how is having no training possible and being in a D’s relationship even possible ? How can a D’s relationship work with no training at all?

To train someone is to change someone into something the Dominant wants or needs. Training can be mild to extreme. Training can be very loving, or it can be very hard and strict. That would mainly depend on the Dominant or Master.

If you are truly a Submissive and you have the need to serve, in the right hands no formal training is really required.

Here is my thoughts and my reasoning. You have a lion who gives birth to a cub, once the cub is old enough to learn how to hunt it already has the basic instincts. What the cub now needs it for the lion to teach it how to use the skills it has already.

Okay maybe not the perfect analogy , but if you think about it, it really fits my explanation.

So you being the submissive already know your submissive, and you have the need to serve, be it sexual or domestic or both. What you need is someone who is capable of fine tuning those skills.

A lot depends on the submissive during this growing and learning process. It depends on how honest you have been, it depends on how much you want to put into the relationship , it depends on how much you truly trust your Dominant. It depends on the bond the two of you have formed, but more than anything , How much you want to serve.

See you already have the basic instincts , you already have a vision about what type of relationship you need. The key is finding the right partner, someone who can make you complete.

Many of you I am guessing are not really open to any type of training, your not really interested in being trained. You just need a Dominant figure in your life. Someone who is just going to take control, and lead.

The truth is everything will just fall into place. Everything will just seem so easy, and if continued the transition will be very smooth, and it is something you will not even really notice.

You can meet a new Dominant, which is what you all want. He may say he has 5, 10 or 15 years experience when in fact he has just read 50 shades of grey. This is not always a bad thing if the Dominant has the right intentions, and he to is looking for a long term relationship. Most Dominants who are new and have never had a submissive will never admit that , while I can understand those thoughts it is not really fair to you the submissive.

He will also state that he will train you, but once you have agreed to enter the relationship training never takes place, mainly because he does not have a clue, and you do not say anything because things are moving smoothly.

The only time you should be concerned is when he says lets start your training while he is unzipping his pants.If he tries to give you rules on the first meeting, some rules are okay, if they really benefit you, such as a new bedtime, or maybe a change in diet, but nothing should be sexual at this stage of the game.

If you benefit from just having that Dominant figure in your life with no rules, or task, even protocols then so be it, but you have to make sure your needs are being met, on all levels, and you should never settle for anything less.

The most important thing in your relationship is making sure your needs are met. If your needs are being met,then you are in the right place. If they are not you have the right to question. You have the right to know why you are giving so much and not getting back in return. You have the right to know what steps are going to be taking to make things right, and a time line.

You cannot give and give and get nothing in return, it does not work that way for you and if you allow it to it will not work for long.

You should always come first no matter what, that should never be negotiated.

 

focused Stay Focused, and learn everything will just fall into place.

Vile

Under Consideration ?

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , on June 20, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I just left a rant on fetlife  about putting someone Under Consideration..I am not sure even where to start. The rant was geared towards Dominants and those who are submissive.

Lets face it BDSM those 4 letters no longer has a meaning. It is now just mostly about swingers , and kink nothing more, As a matter of fact BDSM has changed some much in the last 10 years even the people I know have changed.

New people just entering the lifestyle come in blindly, and when asked a question and you give an answer you are automatically wrong, you do not know what your talking about.

In the rant not one time was a M’s relationship brought up, even when I explained my side I was simply ignored.

If the Dominant is serious about his stance within the lifestyle there are protocols we stand by. Consideration in my eyes is a courting process, like vanilla dating. I think we should move forward so I would like to put you under consideration. Most even have a consideration collar, but I do not take it that far.

If you go through the collaring protocols there is a consideration collar. What many of you fail to understand the collar you wear a couple of days a week or once a month is earned. Although there are a few of you who earned your collar sitting at Dennys on the first meet, I wonder how that worked out?

So the M’s lifestyle is more in depth than the D’s lifestyle would you agree? Most who are in a D’s lifestyle has no real rules to follow, very little structure if any, and most of the relationship is just about sucking and fucking would you agree ?

If you have less than a year in the lifestyle, scratch that is you have less than 5, 10 or maybe 15 years. What right do you have to tell me I am doing something wrong.

Okay so you the submissive or the Baby girl, you want the security, you want the spankings, you want the rough sex, but that is where it ends. Fuck the rules, because I bet there are not 5 who can tell me they follow rules on a daily basis, . You want everything except the responsibility .

So here is where the problem lays. You have an idea of what the lifestyle is suppose to be about and either you hook up with a total fake , or you hook up with someone who takes the lifestyle serious and you want no part of it.

I need someone to be there for me, to help me feel safe, to care and understand me. I want someone to work out all my problems for me and make everything oaky.

Oh wait you really want me to earn my collar? You want me to follow rules and have daily task? Wow  I am not sure if I can do that for you..

So what type of relationship do you want? Do you want half of a Dom? Or do you want the whole Dom?

Here is another post about the same subject

https://fetlife.com/users/608129/posts/2291163

Maybe just maybe I read into it way to much.

You place a Slave under consideration, that means that she is no longer looking for another partner. It means the Master is no longer looking for another partner. The two can now continue training.

Most who are submissive do not wish to be trained in a D’s lifestyle , most think training is a waste of time. Most do not want to go that deep into a D’s relationship. I said most now not all.

It is true there are predators who use the under consideration as a tool, it makes it easy to take advantage of someone. These so called Doms see submissive being a weakness, when in fact a submissive or slave is very strong.

There are those who jump from Dom to Dom and your ending up with the same type of Dominant, and for what ever reason you will not stop long enough to breath, and sort things out before moving onto the next.

We are in a lifestyle were we are suppose to be us, we are suppose to be non-judgmental but just like the first link we are wrong.