Archive for Training a slave

The Slave

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Online Relationships, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, blow job, cock sucking, codependency, codependent, commitment, communication, consequences, Dominant and Submissive, Ego, Face Fucking, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Kink, Low Self Esteem, masochist, Master And Slave, Online Dominants, owned property, Owned Slave, Poly Triad, Private Protocol, Punishment, self confidence, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , on April 9, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sitting here listening to Bret Michael’s jamming with friends , and it fucking rocks. Music is a passion of mine , it is my release , it is my time to chill , gather my thoughts , enjoy my own little world.  Ted Nugent , KISS , Aerosmith , and some country at the top of my list Kid Rock. I love the cheesy kung fu movies that comes on Thursday nights. I am a huge news fanatic so if there is something you want to know just ask.

I am very laid back for the most , I have never raised my voice or lost my temper towards my property. This is not to say I am a push over because I am not , I speak my mind no matter where I am or who I am with.

I am a Buddhist , I have learned to channel my anger but as with any man or human there is a limit. At one time I had a very bad temper , I drank a lot , you could hand me a bunch of pills  and I would not even ask what they were I would just take them. I tried to smoke all the pot in the world but I failed. I would smoke and someone would just grow more. I was on a down hill spiral with not a care about tomorrow or the future.

A Dom who has a temper is not a Dom he is a abuser and nothing more. A man who hits a woman out of anger is a pussy because he will not hit anyone who will not fight back. A Dom who will not allow you to ask questions and want answers is not a Dom. A Dom who does not allow open communication is not a Dom…

However that road of destruction ended around November 1986. October and November I lost my first two jobs after my exit from the US Army. I went cold turkey I stopped everything at one time not looking back… I thought for sure I would of had some type of withdraws but that was not the case, however I did lose most of my friends or I assumed they were friends…

At this time I was living in a small town called canton Ga. It had changed a lot being gone for ten years. Most of the people I knew had moved or changed so much we no longer had anything in common…

My Dominance is a gift and I mean that. A gift means I am taking time out of my life and offering a gift. My gift I am setting my time and life to the side and offering you security , I am offering a sanctuary of peace no drama , no arguing . I am offering you respect , I am offering you me. I am offering you a open door 24/7 , I am offering you communication 24/7. I am offering you stability , I am offering you protection. I will allow you to grow and I will conform to your needs. I will take the time out of my life to train you to fit my needs. I will not take advantage of you , I will not mislead you , I will admit my mistakes. I will offer more than I take but most of all I will always put you first.

Wow! looking over the list and it could of continued I am sure with enough thought. I just wanted to crack the door open and let people take a peak inside.

Both dominance and submission is a gift both have much to offer and prove. I am of course speaking of the beginning steps in a new relationship.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master/slave_(BDSM)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.

I am at a later date going to speak about our triad , we now live as three and while there could be some improvement things are really going well. My time training is limited due to my work but Arianna has stepped up to the plate and is offering guidance .

The Slave has a different mindset than a submissive. A submissive can and has the right to say NO. The submissive can impose limits on the relationship. The submissive can have the choice of when and when not to submit.

The word Slave , the word ownership , the word property. We all know owning a slave is not in any way legal but it is a mindset. The slave kneels holds her hands out and says I am yours to take and use.

You have to want it , you have to need and crave, it has to be in your blood. You have to live, dream and walk with this deep need and desire.

Arianna is a very unique Slave , during her training there was no rejection , there was no resistance, I could see in her eyes she had a hunger. To this day she continues to seek ways to submit more to give more. Everyday I grow with her everyday my respect grows. As my needs change Arianna conforms , but as she changes I conform to meet her needs.

Giving yourself without a thought having that feeling of being completely owned. Willing to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. Being used as a sexual object at the drop of a hat. You can be loved but in the end you are owned property.

Now I sit looking back over the years and thinking about the transformation , thinking about the growth. Watching someones habits change, watching needs change. More than willing to follow rules , protocols and understand there are consequences for her actions. To this day Arianna continues to search and find ways to submit more , she has that need, it is something she craves.

You the Slave must be in the right frame of mind and have a understanding what is about to take place. You must be willing to have over your mind and body and be willing to hand over complete control without question.

Are you Domestic more service orientated ? Are you just going to be used sexually ? Are you a Masochist used for pain? Or are you a mixture of all rolled into one?

You also must be giving a clear understanding what is expected of you , what your training will consist of , how long your training will be. You will want to know what the final goal is.

Trust is the main factor in building a Master / Slave relationship. The slave knowing once she or he agrees to the terms negotiated during the process.

You have to know most of your rights will be stripped away from you. You must know you and your body will be used , without warning. You will be taken when and how your Master chooses.

However and there is a however , you should still be allowed to see friends and family , a slave needs what I call down time. A time to relax and breath , to be able to clear the mind. A time to reflect on past and future.

We as Masters and Dominants take and we must give back more than we take. Probably two or three times a week I tell both Arianna and L that I really appreciate everything they both do. At time I do help out as well. On my days off I cook and at times I even jump in and do a few dishes.

A Slave is not your maid although the slave will be giving chores to do , A slave is not your mom. I pickup behind myself. If I use something I put it back. I do not demand dinner be done at a certain time, both know when I take lunch , If I am going to be late they eat before me.

Many just sit back and look for reasons to punish and my question is why? We can just sit back and find something wrong and the first thing that most grab is a belt or paddle.

Although I run a strict house punishing is something I do not look forward to, just as a parent feels bad for punishing a child.

We as humans , Masters and Dominants make mistakes maybe not on a daily basis but we do. Slaves and submissive’s make mistakes as well but nothing more could be more devastating known they have failed.

As with the 7 types of Submissives there are just as many slaves , but also there are just as many Dominants or Masters..

The service slave is more geared towards service , cleaning , cooking , and keeping things in order. Although sex does play a part service is their main goal. Just knowing their Master is pleased gives them pleasure.

The sex slave can be a little service orientated but is geared more at being used as a sex object , at times no holes barred. The sex slave gets off more knowing they have pleased than them getting off. Most sex slaves will conform to what pleases the Master and urge those actions more.

The Masochist in most cases is neither just as a full blown sadist. Very little structure , very few rules, it is all about the pain and the pleasure the sadist gets out of inflicting pain.

The all around slave a mixture of all of the above , a slave that needs a little of all , being used , in service and at times stepping up to take what pain is giving..

We as Master need to step up to the plate , owning one of the above takes a great deal of time and responsibility. We must make ourselves available 24/7. Arianna knows she can wake me at any time to talk.. We must give more than we take.

Being codependent does not make you broken , being needy does not make you broken , having a low self esteem does not make you broken in fact many times it makes you special.

I have heard many times I am broken or I am not worthy of having a Dominant or Master.

I myself prefer the needy part even the codependent , it is just knowing how to handle and being able to offer the care. Short term neither play out good if both sides are not ready to commit.

I have found very few Dominants or those who call themselves Masters who are truly willing to take any type of relationship serious or willing to take the responsibility needed.  These are the guys who hide behind the computer , the trolls who really have no clue. Once they find someone who is gullible enough it is short lived . The crazy rules the unrealistic demands , the confusion of changing rules just so they can punish.

Training is very time consuming just the initial training I am going to say 90 days with hands on contact on a daily basis. In order to be in control you have to be able to reach out and touch. Online training does not work , it works as long as the computer is on and you have 24/7 contact then it is still iffy.

You have to have need , the craving to be owned , the craving to be used , the craving to be called property. The craving to be able to hand yourself over completely.

The hardest part is the first 90 days it will tell you number one if you are just going through a frenzy or the life of a slave is not you….. It is easy to throw in the towel and give up , it takes a lot to stick it out , but if things are not what they seem , the raise the white flag and say I am done… No shame your just being true. I can assure you the Dominant you leave is not the last in the world.

I believe at times humiliation is needed , it is needed to bring someone back down to reality. It is meant to give a shock , kinda like sticker shock when looking at a new car. It brings someone ego back down to earth. Even during my relationship there are times I will use some form of humiliation to keep things in check , it puts them or reminds the slave of their place..

The word USE I use my property , I use my property for my pleasure , even during fucking I use the word USE , I love using you , I love fucking my property , I love fucking your ass. I like the little reminders..

We live a micromanaged relationship as most of you know. I control everything. I control hair color , I control the length , the nail polish , her clothes . I control the way she walks , talks. I control how she acts in public. I control bathroom , food , bedtime , shower , shaving. I receive a hourly check in 90% of the time with pictures. Both girls have a mileage book although I do not check it on a regular basis it is there if I have the urge to look. I have no passwords , I see no need mainly because I am secure enough in my relationship. However I will at times pick up the phones and strum through them.  If you as a Dominant has the need to demand passwords you do not trust and you have a very low self esteem.

If you the Dominant are insecure how can you control someone and your ego not be behind the force of your relationship? A relationship based on insecurities and ego will be short lived and you brought it on yourself, but you will sit in a corner and cry like a little bitch. Even in a relationship when things don’t go your way you still act like a little bitch.

You cannot be a part time Master , you have to be a Master 24/7 365

If you noticed I did not speak to much about Kink , or Bondage. My relationship runs much deeper. While at times I enjoy getting rough , at times I enjoy bondage , at times I get off on sexual abuse , face fucking being my favorite, then anal. I am more about the control , I love being in the mind. I love the structure . I have a life with zero problems and zero drama.. I love my life

New Dominants your best source for information http://bestslavetraining.com/

Oh My Ride

 

Grow up and be a man…

 

 

Are You Being Exploited ?

Posted in abuse, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, blow job, Master And Slave, slave, submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 1, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You have taken a new turn in life , you have decided to take a new path , to some it can be dark , to some it can be erotic, to some it is scary. To some it is a life of paradise , and then to some it is all about abuse , being used and humiliated. Your broke until there is nothing left to break, you have no will power left and your self esteem is shot to hell.

Predators are alive and well and they are just not male they are females as well, and being new and not having a clue about the lifestyle you can really get fucked up.

Something happens when you meet that first Dominant or your first Mistress. All of your rational thinking goes right out the door, mass confusion kicks in and you cannot comprehend anything, and you are listening to the only one you know in the lifestyle he or she can do no wrong. Yea it does not always work that way more so if you do not have a clue about the lifestyle.

You know what pisses me off is if I take the time to write an email or send a text and I do not get a reply or it is a couple of days before I hear anything , that is just a total lack of respect.

So when entering a relationship you need to have open communication , more so if your not living together. LDR relationships are not so easy these days , I have been in and have known people who have tried LDR or Long Distance Relationships and very few have worked out.  The connection may be there , the communication may be there , the video time may be there, but your missing the physical side of the relationship and being human we need that interaction , without it things can get pretty lonely.

Being exploited in a LDR is really easy especially if your asked to send videos and a mass number of pictures. If you think your Newly found Dominant is keeping your pictures and videos private , well you need a slap of reality. Another sign would be if you spend more time having phone sex and actual conversation , once the Dominant is finished he is ready to hang up.

Yea here we go again the Married cheating Dominant , this is no way in any shape or form a Dominant , this is a man who gets off on exploiting women. This is a man who cannot run his own home , this is a man who cannot control his own home , this man is not a leader , in fact he is just taking up oxygen that others need.

You the submissive , you the baby girl or possibly a slave , you are being exploited , you are being used because you will do things this so called Dominants wife will not do. She will not suck did but you will , she will not take it up the ass but you will, she will not dress like a slut but you will , and this comes all with promises he will leave his wife and kids , pay child support lose his house, yea keep on believing this will happen.

I was on fetlife not long ago and I saw a submissive’s profile who was seeing a married man , but she prayed to god every night. Really are you kidding me. So he is exploiting her and she is trying to exploit god ? I mean if that sounds right. I guess if your good with your conscious then what does it matter , okay enough about religion..

You have both who are not true to the lifestyle Dominants as well as Mistresses , there are both who use and exploit those who are weak or don’t know any better. Maybe weak was not a good word to use , maybe  inexperienced is a better word.

Something I really hate or something that really annoys me is when you first meet a New Dominant for the first time and he says okay well lets start your training. That is a false statement because he cannot start your training because he knows nothing about you. Here is a list of rules I want you to follow and I want you to memorize them but next Friday. My question is how is that possible ?

Okay lets see here, I must worship your cock , okay I am not allowed to cum , okay , um I have to wear a skirt with no panties when I do get to see you for a couple of hours , Okay . These are not rules , this is a human with an ego problem. Many say I have an ego problem , but I call it confidence , I am very confident with just a touch of cocky on the side , with a little bit of smart ass added , mixed with a glass of go fuck yourself.  Ego problem not in the least , not even close.

Many see submission as a weakness , and they see this because they do not understand the lifestyle , remember we as humans are visual , Google , BDSM and click on images , there is your BDSM.

Many see submission as a way to use and abuse , just fuck with you , mentally , physically , and verbally , you are a hole and nothing more, some of you see the signs and you wish to ignore in hopes things will get better , and there are some who will get the nerve up to say you know what ? Go fuck yourself im outta here. You can however choose to ride the perfect storm out , but how much of your life are you willing to waste ? How much of your life are you going to throw away on a hope?

You sitting on the couch crying your sorrows away on your Birthday waiting on that text or email the one you never get because the Dominant was to busy. That is a form of being exploited , waiting on a text wishing you a Merry Christmas that never comes because the Dominant was to busy , yes that is a form of being exploited.

How much time does it take to send a text 15 maybe 20 seconds an email 5 minutes ? Your not worth that much time, a phone call once a day, are you not worth that much time , a call that does not include phone sex. Eh Ill make her wait I am the Master it will do her good.

My wife says it is okay for me to see others, Really ? Just like that she is going to say it is okay , knowing there is a chance her home could be ripped apart , something she has built , because we know the so called Dominant did not do it, remember he is the one who cannot run his own house.

So if your wife says it is okay for you to see other women , then I am assuming we can all three have lunch or dinner so she can look at me in the eye and say yes you can fuck my husband. Now there are some who would gladly let the worthless dumb ass go out and fuck someone else just so he will leave her alone. If what he is saying then he should not have a problem setting up a meeting.

Before Arianna and I met she was seeing a couple , but she was becoming very displeased with the relationship because the time spent with them was on their terms, what they did was on their terms. Being a third wheel is not always bad if your included in everything as it should be.

The deal was they would only have sex when they were all together in front of each other , well that was not good enough for him so he started trying to see Arianna on the side , but she would not give in , because there were rules and she did not want to disrespect the wife, that would of been exploiting her.

Two years later Arianna gets a Text , now Arianna tells me everything and I do mean everything. So over two years go by and this married dude still has Arianna’s phone number , Really are you serious? So he wants to see her , she explains she is now married and it would not be a good idea. His remark was well I am married to so what. See even after his wife gave in it was still not good enough he needed more.

Arianna and I were talking the other day about how much fun it would be to have a third , how much fun it would be to go out and do things. I have to agree it would be , and what will happen will happen , it may and that is okay and it may not and I am okay with that as well.

You have to be extremely careful bringing someone into your home , something the two of you have built, and finding the right one has proven to be difficult. The thing is it is not even about looks , or what kind of job , how much money someone makes, it is all about personality. Personality means everything , a fun go lucky wanna get out and do something.

Take baby steps , learn , watch and listen take mental notes , listen , listen and listen. If you do that a whole new world will open up for you.

How are you going to train me ? That was Arianna asking me that question. 80% your going to watch , listen and observe, when we are done you will be able to anticipate my needs without asking, you will have to want to learn me.

Arianna , I am afraid I am going to fail , there is no way I can possibly do that , I am going to fail then what happens to me ? The truth is there is no such thing as a failure , there is no failure with the right positive reinforcement, there is no failure with the right communication and dedication a relationship needs. There is no failure in a relationship if your not being used.

Dont get me wrong , I use Arianna , I use her for my pleasure , most of the sex is on my terms. I stand at the side of the bed and I snap my fingers and Arianna knows to much to the edge of the bed and spread. I use her I admit this be it sucking my cock just fucking , anal , being rimmed that is what she is for ,but and there is a but a huge BUT.

I give back 150% on a daily basis , I am there for her 24/7 365. Arianna knows she can fully depend on me, Arianna knows she can come to me and talk about anything. Arianna knows if a problem comes to light I am there to take care of it. I can assure you I give much more than I take.

Well vile how can you treat her that way are you not exploiting her ? Here is the thing I knew exactly what I was looking for in a woman and a slave. The key word here is SLAVE , not submissive , not a baby girl a slave.

So everything in our relationship was agreed on prior to entering a relationship, we both new what we wanted and needed. There were no surprises , and no lies. Everything was put out in the open…..

So this dude has had Arianna’s cell number for over two years are you serious? Two years go by and you still have someones number you have not talked to or even sent a text, how pathetic is that? Follow Viles plan if your in my phone and I do not hear from you in 60 days guess what happens ? Yep you get deleted , and it may not be because I don’t like you but your taking up needed space in my phone book and right now I think I have a total of 11 people saved.

I did get off track a few times , but if you follow me you know that is a giving.

I would like to do some more interviews so if someone wants to step up to the plate let me know…..

exploited

Vile

Every Dominant Trains Different

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Dominant, Master, Protocols, Rules, training your slave, Training your ssubmissive with tags , , , , , , , on December 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

There is not one Dominant out there who is the same. We all come from different parts of the world , we were all raised different, we all have different back grounds , and our way of thinking is different.

It was not long ago most Dominant in the community were very close , but over the years thing have changed , we have grown apart the trust is no longer there and it seems everyone is out for their selves.

I am wrong you are wrong , I don’t know what I am doing you don’t know what your doing. If you want your relationship to survive you need to read this book , that book. Wow.

Just like my blog is my opinion so is what you read. What you read is what has worked for someone else , but it does not mean it will work for you, and why is that ?

There is not one book in the world that can describe how a woman thinks. There is not one book in the world that can tell you why someone is submissive or a slave. There is not one book in the world that has a training program that will fit every submissive or slave in the world. The needs in any relationship are different. You can learn what works for others and you may be able to take bits and pieces but your going to have to find that balance that works for both of you.

What works for Master Billy bob and Slave Sarah Jo , will probably not work for someone else. You could however take bits from them and incorporate into your relationship.

It would be wrong of me to say well Master Billy Bob does not have a clue about training a slave. That statement is not correct , and it is so far from the truth it is not funny.

I know nothing about Slave Sarah Jo’s needs , I have no idea what her personality is like , I have no idea what she needs out of the lifestyle. It would be the same with Master Billy Bob , I do not know what his needs are when it comes to an M’s relationship.

A Dominant or Master has their own traits , they have their mind set as far as the type of submissive or slave they are looking for. The same goes with slave Sarah Jo she had the type of mater in mind, the type of Master she needed.

Books can be a good learning source and interesting at times. The book Fifty shades of grey is flying off the shelf , I am sure the movie will do good , but it only shows one side of the lifestyle and that is the kink.

Then you watch the Movie The Secretary , it does show the kink , but it also shows the building of a relationship , rules and building self esteem. It also showed how the needed structure would prevent one from cutting herself.

So fifty shades  grey is really 9 1/2 week with more kink and nothing more.

Here is another thing some meet a Dominant and he will say I want to train you. He then hands out a few rules and that is the end. That is the last thing you hear about training. Your thinking in your mind WOW there has to be more to this , but your afraid to speak up in fear of rocking the boat. If your happy and things are going well then leave it be.

When entering a relationship and the Dominant brings up training , you should ask what his training involves. How is his training going to benefit you?  What are you going to get out of it ? What are some of his goals?

Every Slave is different , every submissive is different , their needs are different , their kinks , their mental stability is different. Everything is different not one is the same , the depth of submission is different.

Some only submit in the bedroom , some like a few rules and task, some like no rules , while some need to give over 100% control.

No one can tell you that your Dominant or Master is doing wrong because they have no idea what your relationship is like.

Everything I share is my opinion and nothing more. What I share is my past present and my plans for the future. What I share works for my relationship, but you can take bits and pieces of what I share and maybe use a little here and there.

In the end we all want the same thing, a Stable and secure home with the one we love.

train

Words And Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Portocol, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The slave must adapt, The World Of BDSM, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Slavery, Total Submission, TPE, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

One thing I do during training is, I utilize what is called speaking in thirds. This is something that is common in the Gorean lifestyle.

To me speaking in thirds has a purpose, and the purpose is to make one focus, to think, to think before they speak.

The words tend to have more meaning, and the slave is able to explains things better if she has to think before speaking.

Speaking in thirds gives one a total different aspect of who and what they are, it is like a reminder, and it teaches self discipline.

Once I start training I use the technique for a couple of weeks or sometimes I will use as a form of punishment, again to make the slave think.

When a Dominant uses the word Train, it is good to ask what he hopes to get out of it, and how the training is going to benefit you ?

So the night before last we were laying in bed, I was watching shark week, Bah Humbug, and I get an email. Guess from who? Yup Arianna, I was like what but sometimes she is able to express herself better writing things down, or in an email , than talking sometimes and I do understand her reasoning.

Arianna was expressing interest in speech restriction, and using the term your property when addressing me.

Her reasoning was it would make her feel a deeper submission, not only speaking in thirds but using the word property.

Once you give up full control , and you learn to follow the rules, protocols, it becomes a habit, and when things are a habit there are times we do not even realize we are doing them.

That is how Arianna feels at times, everything just falls into place and she does not see her submission.

That is why I have said in the past it is very important for the Dominant to remain consistent on a daily basis. If you say something, then mean what you say. If you say your going to do something then do it.

Although I am not Gorean I do follow many of the protocols, and I am consistent.

I can also tell you what rules work for one does not work for another. It would be almost impossible for every slave or submissive to have the same rules.

What protocols, and rituals that worked for one will not work for another. Every Slave or sub is different, their habits are different, but more so their needs…

Behavior Modification, changing the way one thinks or acts, in public or private.  Changing ones thoughts, or how they view things.

This can be done, if the Dominant is true to the relationship , but just as I tell those who are submissive, I tell the Dominants the same thing. Be careful what you ask for.

The best way to kick off your training, is for both to be able to take a vacation, and no I am not joking. You have kinda like a 5 to 7 day mini boot camp.

Before you say anything Arianna has been there, and she can tell you that her changes have only been positive.  Being able to let your mind go, and just flow with your training, but truthfully training can only be successful if you trust the one your with.

So there are some who wish to move into a deeper submission, even after training, the training never really stops, it does continue and it is daily maintenance.

The changing of one word , yes that is all it takes, just as Arianna stated in her email.

Instead of using the word I, she wanted to use your slave, or this slave.

About a month ago , I instructed Arianna to use the words Thank You. Thank You for everything.

Thank you for letting me sit, shower, bathroom. After taking the first bite of food, Thank You.

This all falls under Behavior Modification, but you as the Dominant you need to remain consistent.

You know what I truly find disturbing is a Dominant who is not really a Dominant, but enters a relationship with a Baby Girl a Submissive, under false pretenses. Promising one thing but not being able to deliver.

The Dominant not thinking of the negative effects he is having on someones life, the damage that is being done, and playing with someones emotions.

Then it is clearly not the Submissive who is the problem, it is the Dominant who will put all the blame on the sub or baby girl because the relationship did not work. When in fact the Dominant either had no intentions of making things work, or he did not have a clue.

Changing one word, can change ones life.

problem

Vile

Are You A Submissive Push Over ? You Have Rights You Know

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Respect, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know it seems many who are new to the lifestyle are really gullible, because you believe anything your told, and without asking questions you just follow knowing something is not right.

I have talked about this before, when your first meeting a new Dominant or maybe a Daddy Dom.

You have to ask questions, and you have to know what questions to ask. Going into a relationship you already have some knowledge about what your role in the lifestyle you would like to take part in.
You have been reading, or maybe you have talked to others, so you have an idea what your role would be. You cannot let someone tell you what they think your role is.

Your a Slave, and you can be convinced you are, your a baby girl and you can be giving a few reasons and you will believe it. Only you truly knows who you are.

You also have to ask questions when you first meet, but there is a little known trick called Dominance through intimidation and most fall for it every time.

You will call me Sir, there will be no eye contact. You will wear a skirt with no panties.
You know coming from a Dominant those are really pretty stupid request, and have very little to do with D’s. None of the above have anything to do with submission when your first meeting someone.

One you have both agreed to enter a relationship, the no eye contact thing can be used as a training tool, but the subject of training is a whole new story..

Intimidation is an evil tool, and those who use it use it well. Your made to feel lost, your made to feel confused, and in some cases worthless, but the good thing is he is there to help you, and you feel so relieved.

The truth is you are told what is wrong with you, and what the Dom is doing is planting that little seed.

I have gone over this before, you need to write questions down so you don’t forget
Are you married ? If yes and he says I am but my wife knows and says it is alright, okay fine lets call her. After all if it is really okay he will not mind.
What you do not understand is you can get hurt, and worse you can get killed, do not think a wife is just going to let you walk in and take what she has built after putting up with all his bullshit.

How long have you been in the lifestyle ? Can I meet some of your friends ? How many D’s relationships have you been in and what happened ? When the Dom starts putting the blame on all of the subs you know something is wrong.

Where do you live ? Where do you work ? Can I come and visit ?

At this point and time no rules should be giving out because he does not really know you. I have said time and time again rules are meant to improve, your taking bad habits and making good ones..

You need to find out what his protocols are, you may or may not want to follow all.
You need to find out what is expected of you.
You need to find out if he is poly or will he remain loyal. Because if he says no but later on he wants to have a threesome you have the right to say no.

When I first met Arianna, it was almost 2 months before she started calling me Sir. I had to earn her respect. As a Dominant I could not demand her respect, I had to earn it.

Are you active in the local community? 99% of all Doms are active it is a need. We need to be able to communicate with like minded people. So for a Dom to say I have been in the lifestyle for 5 years or 10 years and not know anyone, yea hes pulling your leg.

I myself need that interaction with others in the lifestyle, I need to be able to communicate with others, and at times I need advice.

One bad sign to watch out for, is when he begins to isolate you from others. He will not want your family to know about him, he will decide which friends you can have and who you cannot have.

Another sign is wanting all of your passwords, that is a true sign of being insecure. It does not matter if your submissive or a slave you still need some form of privacy.

If you go into a relationship prepared things will be a lot easier. This will eliminate any problems and drama.

You also need to know what you expect out of your Dom. You need to know he is going to be willing to dedicate the time you need. You need to know if your going to call he will answer, or text. Today it is so easy to stay in contact. Even today I receive about 50 text or so from Arianna on a daily basis, and I answer each and everyone.

If something is not going as you think it should you have the right to question. If you do not agree with something you have the right to say no.
If your safe word is not respected you have the right to end the relationship.

The collar, is the most symbolic piece of jewelry in the lifestyle. The collar is suppose to have meaning, but most of all the collar is suppose to be earned.

If you meet a Dominant and he tries to collar you on the first meeting, you need to get up and walk out. Remember Domination through intimidation ?

The collar is earned, by completing task on a daily basis, following rules on a daily basis, protocols on a daily basis, and how well you are adapting to the training process.

If a Dom says he can train you in 30 days he is full of shit, it cannot be done. It took me almost 6 months to even get where I thought we should be, and I would call myself an experienced Dominant, and almost two years later I am still making adjustments, adding and taking away where I set fit.

Taking that first step is a huge one and you need to be sure this is really what you are seeking.

I myself have neglected asking questions here not to long ago. As many know Arianna and I had been looking to add a third to our home, and I failed to ask the right questions, only to find out I was being played, I had already made the mistake introducing Arianna to the subs as well, and it turned out they were just playing games and had no real intentions of perusing a relationship.

So its just not the submissive that needs to ask questions it is up to the dominant to ask all the right questions as well.

Be safe, think smart.
Training does not start with sucking cock.

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