We are Master And Slave. The first words you hear in the background is, What many do not understand about a Master and Slave relationship is the Master controls everything including the money.
That comment has come up more than once , more than twice and more than three times. I am not sure why ? I suppose maybe checking things out , or making me rethink our relationship.
The truth is I control everything to include all finances , I control every dollar , every quarter every dime every nickle down to every penny. Arianna pays bills , but again I know where every dollar goes, and anything that is spent needs my approval.
It is no secret , not that it matters, Arianna makes more than I do as a matter of fact a lot more than I do. I was recently offered a job making 58K a year. After Arianna and I talked about it we weighed all the options and we came to a conclusion we are okay. I enjoy my job and now we are able to spend much more time together with our current situation. Our bills are really low, and our two care payments are what most spend on one payment.
So the training began , this was a task I had never endured before , it would require a lot of me. A plan , a plan where I would take full control of someones life. a plan that would consist of a micromanaged relationship, a plan to remain consistent where in previous relationships I had failed, a plan that would consist of Behavior modification.
Arianna’s training did not include any type of pain , that is not how I roll, I wanted inside her head, I wanted to know her thoughts, her thought process , what made her tick.
The relationship was not something I jumped into, I had a lot to think about. I was at the age I wanted to settle down, I was at the age I wanted a one on one monogamous relationship, however I was not sure I wanted the amount of responsibility it would take to have the type of relationship Arianna needed.
Training in my mind does not have to consist of pain , I want the challenge, and I want to win. I am always first and I finish first there is no second place. Hmmm did that make any sense ?
So I get in the mind , the brain and I start picking, there are hundreds of doors , and each room has a book or maybe at times more than one book and each one has to be read from front to back. This is the way you get into someones head, you get a clear vision on what makes them think.
I have never lost my temper towards Arianna , although she has seen me mad and really mad. During training you get no where yelling or screaming, losing your temper and losing control is not a very good trait for a Dominant.
One of the first things a Dominant tells a submissive is , he is always in control and not controlling. If he loses his temper on a regular basis then he is not really in control. If one cannot control their feelings or emotions , then how can one control someone else ?
One rule I made clear from the start is our life is private , nothing personal shared with no one. You know what kills me is when a submissive, Baby girl, or slave jumps of Fetlife or Facebook and just opens up her whole life, complaining about her Dom , her Daddy or Master. Here comes how fucked up he is, here comes he is not a real Master , he should be taking better care of you.
The one thing that was left out was his side of the story, his intentions , and now he is the bad guy. This could be a cause from a couple of things, maybe confusing on the property’s end , maybe lack of communication on both. Many times when something is explained the submissive may be afraid to ask questions. This is just something I observed the other day…
Arianna and I recently attended a local event, we were all giving introductions, and when I got to the part about how our relationship was a consensual , non-consensual , then the eyebrows went up like it was an alarm.
So lets talk about the two , Our relationship is consensual M’s , Master and slave , we live a 24/7 Total Power Exchange. Although at one time I was a sadist and a extreme one , that is no longer the case. Today I have different needs, I have a need for structure , I have a need for protocols, and I have a need for continuous training and when you put all of this together it equals control.
Still to date Arianna and I have still not had one argument, as a matter of fact we have not even come close and again this is due to communication, but it goes deeper than just communication. There are times when you know someone wants to be left alone, and instead of digging to find out what is wrong you just let things be. I call this the what is wrong argument . What is wrong ? Nothing, well sure there you can tell me. Nothing is wrong, yea you can see where this is going and before you know it your face to face screaming at each other.
Think before you speak , you may be thinking you stupid bitch , but many times those words exit your mouth before your brain has a chance to catch up with your mouth. Most have what I call pet names that would include , my bitch , my whore and so on, but to use those words out of anger causes way more damage that just beating her ass, Bruises heal but words do not. I have always thought an anger mans words is a calm mans thoughts.
The world of BDSM has grown so much and has branched off in many directions over the past ten years or so. There is a lifestyle or fetish out there for anyone and everything, but yet we are to quick to judge, we are to quick to say that Dominant does not know what hes doing, or she is really not submissive. Although there is a definition for the word submission that one definition does not fit everyone. Just as the definition of a Dominant or a Master, although there is one definition that one does not fit everyone. If that one definition fit everyone in the lifestyle then you know what would happen? We would all get along and see eye to eye on the way we lives our lives. Now that does not making any fucking sense for all of use to get along does it? We would have no one to talk about nor would we have anyone we could bash on a daily basis because they don’t know what they are doing , and what fun would that be?
The second is non-consensual , when most hear that word abuse comes to mind , or maybe taking the rights away from someone, maybe being to physical to the point of abuse, or to verbal to the point of sever humiliation. Maybe cutting all of ones friends off to include family. Many Dominants who are not seasoned do just that, maybe one has a insecure problem or he is fake ?
I have the final say that includes anything and everything that may come before us.
I am not sure why others do not understand our relationship , I would assume we are just like any other couple who lives a M’s relationship, although when I mention we have never had an argument , we get looked at funny.
We are all different , our needs and wants are different, if what you have works for you that is all that matters.. I know at times I may seem a little one sided but I am really now , I truly wish everyone the best that life has to offer , no goal is unreachable ….