Women were put here to Serve II
A while back I blogged about how I truly believe women were put here to serve, and I received a lot of bad feed back, not that I care, because I am me, and nothing about me will change. I would like to give a better explanation on my feelings.
I have been in the lifestyle a very long time as most of you know. As I had stated my first was a Total Masochist, also into heavy humiliation. I have lived in a Poly relationship, which at that time was good, but I do not think that would be something I would ever want to pursue again. I was a Daddy Dom for some 7 years. In the beginning it was not something I was into, but it slowly grew on me.
Now I am more into the D’s aspect of the lifestyle. My last relationship was a slave who was a masochist, and it really did nothing for me. That was Lyn who turned out to be married. I was going to end things anyway, just because I was not getting anything out of the relationship, but being married, and seeing what it was doing to her family was really the last straw. So I gave her the mind fuck of the decade. She left on her own.
Someone had posted on my FB that after being married for 10 years now he has these BDSM urges and he asked me if I thought it was okay if he stepped out and dated other women who were in the lifestyle. Well that is on you. After he spoke with his wife about his now needs she was totally against the idea.
This is just my opinion if your married stay married, or be a man and get a Divorce like Lion and I did. If the shoe was on the other foot, and the man caught his wife fucking around the male would come unglued ,even if the male is seeing someone else. The wife is expected to stay home and take care of the kids. No matter how slick or careful you are, you always get caught. The damage that is done to the family is not repairable.
Women were put here to serve, that is a bold statement.When I said that, I did not mean, as someone just to cook and do laundry, clean the house, or not be allowed to have an opinion, or a say. You cannot live the lifestyle 24/7, you have to be a normal couple at times. You have to sit down and talk things out, when problems arise.
Serving is an agreement between the two, coming to an agreement, on what each expect out of the lifestyle, now and in the future.
While it is true, the Dominant will have needs the submissive is not into, as with the submissive will have needs the Dominant is not into, both do to please.
I enjoy cooking, as a matter of fact I prefer to do 80% of the cooking, I do not mind washing dishes, or doing a load of laundry sometimes..
My last blog on this subject was pretty harsh. The problem is, everyone made negative comments, but not one asked any questions, in order for me to clarify my statement.
Yes women were put here to serve, but under a consensual agreement. Once the two have come to an agreement, that is what you stay with.
Being truthful and honest with both upfront is very important.
Vile
thekinkyworldofvile 
November 10, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Vile,
Your blog interests me. Not because I necessarily agree with you. I think it appeals to me because of the art you choose, the topics you choose and your willingness to speak broadly about your viewpoint.
I felt compelled to share an observation in regards to this post…
You said that “nothing about you will change…”
I realize it’s likely a statement that you hold your opinion strongly…
Very often I find that such statements which seem to hold strength contain in them the indications that we lack of full viewpoint of something. I’m not assuming this is so in your case…I’m just remarking…making observations about the topic because In my viewpoint and life experience the idea that we aren’t going to change our minds on something can lead to stagnation and intractable ideals which can become outdated. Growing and developing viewpoints and experiences is a healthy natural part of being human. Being willing to revisit and reshape every viewpoint you have is the mark of intelligence and a mature personality in my experience also.
You said that “women were here to serve.”
I think it would be more accurate to say that some women are here to serve. Many are not. I think that there’s a myth about women that frequently gets mixed in with this women/service perspective that you hold. Perhaps you don’t hold these two things together, but again I’m remarking/observing…making conversation. The myth is that being willing to give and being willing to nurture equates with being willing to serve…as in do something someone else wants just because they want you to. And that leads me to another myth…that service is about doing what others want. Service is different than that in my world view. In my world view, service is about leaving a legacy of kindness, compassion and making a difference in others lives. It is about serving the continuation and the health of our human experience. That can be expressed toward a charity, a job, a child, a grandparent or a dominant.
It’s true that some women are here to serve…but not all of them. Some are here to lead others in living a better life….Some are here to both lead and serve. In fact, a healthy, mature human being is here to do both…even those who enjoy submission. Leadership is not exclusive to Dominants and service is not exclusive to submissives. Dominants who are really interested in maturing as a human being can see and will embrace the idea and the activity of serving Life and those they love. How we do that is a role we play…a role we choose. Just as a teacher gives service to a student by sharing wisdom, so does a waitress give service of food. That’s his or her job. That he or she does it mindfully and with good humor is the mark of maturity…but it’s a role they play. It’s the same role an executive has in their job.
Another myth is that submission and knowing your place will make a woman more content and happy, yet I notice that submissives who think so one dimensionally about submission tend to be emotionally unstable. To be whole, mature human beings we must each examine all aspects of our personal power, talents and capabilities…we must examine them to their fullest potential. Woman have equal potential for leading and dominating as men…perhaps more so because we are the liminal consciousness and heart they must pass through to mature.
It is very possible that this viewpoint you hold about women is short sighted and will lead to limiting your relationships with the women in your life…and worse will limit who they can be within a relationship with you….at least as you expressed it here…and as I interpreted it just now. All is relative to our perspectives in writing and reading isn’t it?
In any case, I have found that it’s far more satisfying to submit when all of who I can be is present and accounted for.
I have found that is far more satisfying to submit when I recognize and express my ability to lead and dominate….and my partner feels greater satisfaction when he watches me dominate someone and he comes home with me and takes me in hand….knowing what a whole powerful person he’s receiving love and submission from.
Just some ideas to toss into the pot and see how they stew.
Alais
November 10, 2012 at 5:52 pm
First thank you for dropping in. Second about changing, we as humans tend to settle for less, when seeking a relationship, this happens more so with men.
Once this happens the relationship is already set up for failure.
I would not want you to agree with all my views, they are that, mine. If we all agreed on everything, the world would be a better place.
No not all women were put here to serve, that is why I revised this post from and earlier one I had posted.
If you find a submissive who is emotionally unstable, then her partner is not doing his job, so to speak.
The relationship is meant to be about positive reinforcement, communication, very caring and loving. The truth be known many submissives are needy, so we as Dominants need to be able to fill those shoes, not only to be responsible enough but to be held accountable for our actions.
Again thank you for stopping in. I do like to hear others who voice their opinions.